Back with another moment for y'all this morning! Or ... afternoon depending where you are ^-^
Special thank you to pokeloon15, Spazzie, and A-chan32 for your kind words of encouragement! :)
Disclaimer: TS is unfortunately not my creation. :(
.:.24.:.
The Art of Apologizing
Sitting before the vanity mirror in her bathrobe, Samantha brushed her slightly damp morning hair after her morning shower.
A smile slowly blossomed on her lips when she felt the softness of a rose petal brush against her cheek then move up the side of her face delicately outlining her features.
Tim Scam being the total romantic as usual.
Turning her head over her shoulder she found him standing there smiling at her charmingly with a whole bouquet of her favourite blood red roses and white lilies in his arms.
"I thought you went out for an early morning jog," Sam mumbled blushing deeply at him deciding to romance her instead as she took the flowers from him and took a whiff of their wonderful scent, her smile only growing larger as she did so.
"I lied," Tim admitted bluntly, unashamedly smirking at her.
Shaking her head at all the pride in his tone for being an expert liar still despite no longer being a baddie, Sam met his sea gaze with curiosity in her emerald one.
"So... what's this about?" She asked wondering if there was any other reason that he'd gone out of his way and gotten her flowers this morning besides his regular endless pampering of her that always made her feel like she was a kid and it was always Christmas morning.
When he told her that there was an actual reason he'd done this she was left more curious than ever. She tried prodding him to tell her what it was but he just shrugged and told her to think about it for a little bit. After around five minutes of incorrect guesses he finally decided to clue her in.
"Today is the anniversary … of the first time you got majorly pissed at me."
"..."
Sam paused for a long moment after he said that.
"Are you sure? She finally said moments later, sounding totally cynical because she honestly wasn't sure how he could possiblyyyyy keep track of something like that.
Smirking in a teasing manner, she explained her skepticism to him. "Because I remember that I was pissed at you for at least a year straight after I found out that you weren't actually Mac Smit. You know? The new, seemingly good boss who had taken over WOOHP after Jerry retir-"
"I meant after we fell in love and got married," He cut her off leaving her to giggle a little at the annoyed scowl on his face at the reminder of what had once been a less than civil past between them.
Looking down at her lap at the gorgeous roses once more, Sam thought long and hard now that he'd narrowed the timeline of this supposed incident (they'd only been married for threeish months) but was unable to remember exactly what he was referring to. It was almost like her brain was blocking it out or something.
And when he at last told her what it was, she instantly understood why.
"It was after a mission. A mission that went south and it looked like you'd lost me forever. And then instead of comforting you when I came back alive as I should have ... I asked you a stupid question."
"…"
She remembered now and her face immediately hardened at the memory of that WOOHP mission just one month or so ago that had led her to absolutely blowing up on him in a way she never had before.
Immediately she put the flowers down and got up moving away from Tim just like she had then, a deep frown set on her face and her body starting to shake a little as it all came rushing back to her.
She had almost become a widow that day after such brief marriage. But it hadn't been just the trauma of that terrifying thought that had hurt her so much ... it had been what he'd said to her afterwards when they'd gotten home safe and sound:
He could feel the way she held him tighter than normal as they lay there together under the black sheets of their bed. Their bare, sweaty bodies slumped together after hours of making passionate love to each other, everything from earlier today catching up to them at the same time leaving them exhausted both physically and mentally.
"I can't believe ... that I almost lost you today," Sam breathed out, her voice barely above a whisper, still afraid, still shaken up from all she'd been through as she held her husband as close to her as she could while placing lingering kisses of affection against his smooth, tanned skin.
Pressing her ear against his muscular chest she let his strong heartbeat reassure her that everything had been a bad nightmare and only that.
"But you didn't Sammie..." Tim reminded her as he softly stroked her long, red hair and bent his face down to tenderly kiss her forehead over and over again to soothe her worries. "And that's all that matters."
Only clutching him harder to her Sam nodded. She knew he was right but it was going to take her some time to accept that he was still here with her and not dead after the horrible explosion he'd been caught in. How he'd gotten out of it with mere scratches she'd never know, but she liked to think that her true love for him had shielded him from harm somehow.
She bit her lip sadly trying not to cry again as she remembered how much of a mess she'd been when that building had gone up in flames with him still in it. Crying, shaking, screaming for him at the top of her lungs in a blind panic the whole time WOOHP agents tried to get inside to see if he was still even alive.
Only when he'd emerged from the wreck on his own two feet and called her name, only when she'd run into his arms like a madwoman confirming that he wasn't a ghost or a figment of her desperate imagination but truly him in the flesh had she started to finally calm down.
Whispering a thank you to god for keeping her beloved Tim safe, she snuggled into him just letting his presence consume her and comfort her as she closed her eyes to sleep still overwhelmed but feeling better. He was okay and he was with her in their home. It was all okay. It was over, she repeated to herself over and over again like a mantra. There was nothing to be upset about anymore.
"Although, I have to ask..." Tim suddenly said making her open her eyes again. "What would you have done if I hadn't made it? If I had ... died today?"
Failing to notice how Samantha went so quiet after those words that it seemed as though she wasn't even breathing anymore, not registering her sudden and uncharacteristic stiffness in his embrace when she'd been melting in it mere seconds before, he went on, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"Would you choose to remain my widow or..." He paused knowing what he wanted to ask but finding it difficult to even say because the thought of her, of his Sammie belonging to another man burned him up with raw jealously. But hypothetically he wanted to know, and he wanted her to know that if something did happen to him one day then he would like for her to find happiness again even if that meant her being with some other guy.
"...Would you re-marry?"
Sam didn't answer him for a moment and then another. Five minutes passed and he was starting to wonder if she'd fallen asleep when suddenly she answered him.
But the reply that came from her wasn't either of the two options he'd given her, what she actually said was something he'd never expected to hear and as such it rendered him completely speechless from shock.
"...I'd join you in death."
He heard her say firmly with no note of uncertainty in her tone, with no doubts whatsoever that that was exactly what she'd do if ever came down to it.
And when he glanced down at her face he found her looking back at him with tears in her bloodshot eyes while a look of deep hurt was etched all over her face, her lips quivering all the while.
And he realized immediately that he'd screwed up. That he'd been completely in the wrong to ask her that question.
"Sam... Darling… Baby, I-I..." Scam stumbled quietly as he searched for the right words, his voice careful and gentle as to not provoke her any further. But it was already too late and the damage was done as Sam's tears were already falling down her cheeks in messy lines and she was shuddering violently from the force of her anguished sobs.
Soon she yanked herself out of his arms harshly and sat up in the bed as far away from him as she could get while she pulled the blankets up to hide her body completely from his eyes.
When he reached out for her she pushed his hand away immediately and shot him a glare telling him not to touch her because she was beyond livid with him right now.
How could he even ask her that? Go there? Hadn't he seen how terrified she was when she'd believed he had been killed? Didn't he already know that she couldn't live without him even before today?! After all they had been through together?!
"I can't believe..." she whispered shakily, still in a fit of never-ending tears. "That you could even think about me being with someone else. That I would ever do that."
And suddenly she was ranting at him, yelling at Tim in a way that she never had at anyone before.
"Is that really all you think of me? Of us? Of our love?!" She snapped, enraged and hurt that after this many years of loving him like a crazy person, with all her heart and soul he thought she could ever want anyone else. Dead or alive, didn't he know he was the love of her life and forever would be? Did he think she wasn't sincere every time she called him that? That she was just throwing those words around lightly and didn't mean them?!
"What? Do you think I have a list of guys as backups tucked away somewhere just ready to swap you out with if something happened to you one day? That you're that easily replaceable to me that I'd just move on?!"
Holding up his hands to try and halt her angry speech to him, Tim spoke with apology everywhere on his face. "Sam please stop. I'm sorry, okay?" He tried to control the situation. "It was the wrong time to ask. Your emotions were still high from the accident earlier and-"
"It was a stupid, ridiculous, and heartless question to ask your wife, period!" Sam screeched deeply wounded and not even bothering to hide her pain from him, wanting him to know how badly his words had cut into her; even more than the news of his possible demise had.
"And it would have been WHENEVER you asked me it!"
"Sammie..." he tried again to take her in his arms and dispel her rage but she refused to let him as she kept shouting right in his face.
"Don't you get it? I'm a modern woman Tim; I don't need a man to get me by! I can't just be with a guy for some phony companionship and that's definitely NOT why I married you!" She raged remembering how before him the longest a boyfriend had lasted her had been a couple of months tops and how she'd gone perfectly comfortably with long gaps without having one because unlike so many women she knew, she wasn't the kind of girl that had to have a man to feel complete. If someone wasn't right for her she made peace with it, she let them go and never looked back.
Until he came along and showed her what it really meant to truly fall for someone. For someone to become your sun, and moon, and stars; your whole entire world. What the word soulmate actually meant. Then how dare he sit here and pretend he was so damn dispensable like the others had been?! Seriously, how dare he?!
"I married you because I LOVE YOU! I. LOVE. YOU. And I made you a part of my life because I couldn't imagine life without you! So despite knowing all that, knowing exactly how feel about you, if you still believe that I'd just forget you and run off into the sunset with some other man the second you die-"
"That's not what I meant-"
"I don't care what you meant!"
"Sam-"
"DON'T!"
She silenced him once more, not even looking at him anymore because she was that disgusted and disappointed in him right now.
And before he could get another word in she swiftly located her robe amidst the covers and put it on before getting out of the bed and standing up.
Watching her do that Tim sighed deeply and tried to grab her wrist and halt her. "Sammie, please don't g-"
"I can't be around you right now!" Was all Sam was able to get out before she covered her face with her hands and ran off in tears, ignoring her husband's voice calling after her begging for her to come back to him.
Snapping out of her flashback Sam paced around the room for a little bit as she tried like mad to keep control of herself and not lash out at Tim again as she had that night. But soon she found herself unable to.
Why? Why did he think it was a good idea to bring that up again? To give her a present no less to … to… commemorate it? What was going on in his head?!
"Are you trying to hurt me again? Is that what you want?!" Sam finally hissed furiously looking at her husband with a frustrated glare. In the last thirty days, she had never actually fully forgiven him for that nonsense he'd spewed. No, she'd simply calmed down and decided to forget it after he'd battled so hard to get through to her and explain himself.
After he'd managed to corner her in the bathroom and pleaded with her endlessly to listen to him and told her that he was truly sorry. That as hard as he tried he could still be insensitive sometimes having been away from people for a good number of years and not having to care for hurting anyone's feelings . That he didn't always fully weigh his own words or their impact as he should but he knew that he'd been an idiot for what he'd said to her and insisted that he'd only wanted her to be taken care of after he was gone and that was why he'd said it anyway.
That had then led to her infuriatedly informing him that even if he did die on her some day and left her behind, she didn't want another man, any other man but him. That even if she somehow found the strength to succeed him she'd rather live with his memories than try to force herself to feel for another what she felt for him.
He'd at last understood and admitted to her that if god forbid, he lost her some day then he too would never be able to find it in himself to ever settle down, to fall in love with any other woman because his feelings for her were just as strong as hers were for him.
It had been those exact words had at last calmed her and she'd decided to let it go, bottling up the remnants of her disapproval at him ever having asked her what he had and patching up with him.
So why then was he pushing her buttons now? One month later? Sprinkling salt and pepper on her still unhealed wounds? He had to have a reason and a good one to do something so incredibly stupid.
"… Because I knew that the matter wasn't truly settled," He finally confessed, his eyes piercing into her own as he spoke. "I knew that deep down ... you hadn't truly forgiven me that night."
Sam's jaw parted at his statement as she listened to him with wide eyes.
And he knew just what she was thinking right now. How could he have known she was still miffed with him after she herself had said it was okay? After they had seemingly made up and things had gone back to normal?
Smiling slightly at her startled face he continued. "I could see it in the subtle things. How you'd give me that look when you thought I wasn't watching... " He started to list. "Wake up a little earlier every day so that you could avoid having to cuddle with me like we always used to. Choosing to go out with Clover and Alex to places you'd normally pass on to spend alone time with me. Just so happen to vacate the shower every, single morning before I could join you..."
Sam's gaze unlocked from his and fell down to her toes knowing she had done that again just this morning. Saying nothing she just stood there stunned that he'd picked up on any of those things she'd done let alone all of them. And she truly hadn't meant to make him feel bad or anything ... she just hadn't been able to help herself because she was still just a little upset with him.
Sighing he tiptoed closer to where she stood pouting at the hardwood floor and lifted her chin with his index finger making her look him in the eye again.
"Look, despite everything that I am capable of my love ... I still can't turn back time," He said sincerely and with intense conviction. "As much as I want to ... I can't erase that conversation we had. All I can do is try to fix things. Try to replace a bad memory with a good one and that's why I did this."
He looked right at her with guilt showing everywhere on every inch of his handsome face. "I was hoping that if I apologized to you again after a month had passed, that you would be able to see that I was still beating myself up over what I'd done. That I hadn't forgotten hurting you and maybe, just maybe you'd finally forgive me for real and we'd truly be okay. I'm …" He trailed off sighing deeply again, his jaw twitching as he looked as ticked off with himself as she had been with him all this time. "I'm sorry Sam. I'm so, so, sooo sorry. Can you please forgive me? Please?"
And Sam found herself crumbling at his heartfelt apology. Tired of carrying this unspoken grudge with him she let out a cry before launching herself in his arms and telling him that it was okay, that she forgave him just so long as he never asked her that kind of question ever again.
"Never," he assured her as he hugged her back relieved that this was over with. "I'll never say it again, I give you my word Sammie."
Nodding her head to tell him she believed him, Sam smiled and was in the process of wiping away her tears and getting on with her day when he said something that made her freeze up again.
"Not even on my deathbed..."
An angry snarl left her mouth when she caught him winking at her mischievously and her shoulders slumped while she frowned, communicating to him that she didn't appreciate a dose of his dark humour right now when they'd literally just made up.
But before she could yell at him for once again being such a dick, he held up his hands as if to say, "I just couldn't help it," gave her a cute face complete with puppy dog eyes to match, and kissed her squeezing her close to his own body in silent apology.
And try as she might, Sam was unable to resist and found herself kissing him back deciding to forgive him at last.
Just a cute little something as I work on larger updates! Also it had been a little while since the last Moment so I thought why not? Hope you liked it! ^-^
Love,
Lark :)
