(in which we get mana-blasted)
It's currently morning-midday, or so!
Right now, I'm just chillin' out, maxin' 'n' relaxin' all koo in the village square. The guards just got done with an assembly to go raid the Scarlet Devil Mansion, with only fifty dudes and some worthless support-looking people. Like… swordsmen and archers. Maybe this'll be a lesson to people to stop freakin' whacking the beehive that is the mansion.
It's a gorgeously sunny day, too. Although, I'm kinda itchin' for a snow storm now, since I'm ice and freeze-resistant and all. Can just putz about in the snow, maybe hug some yuki-onna, it'd be great, yo.
Earlier, I spent the evening at Sekibanki's and it was a'ight. She even let me have a few peppermints, yo…! We didn't do a whole lotta talkin' or anything, though, 'cause she just went to bed pretty promptly.
Oh, yeah, Matt's here with me, in the village square! As well as this blood-encrusted loli he found somewhere...
"I have business to attend to." Matt's gaze pans to the loli drenched in dried blood. "Very important business." Not with me for long, apparently!
...I look between the two 'a 'em, and make that 'okay' sign with my fingers. "A'right, son. I see how it is, yo." Freakin' murder party.
"Yeah, we're gonna fuck." He clarifies. "See ya."
"Wha-what? You overstep your bou-..." He caught the stoic doom loli off guard! Ho ho!
...She seems to take note of my chuckling, though!
She looks back and forth between us, as Matt starts walkin' away. The little lass gives me a stare 'a some sort as she meanders off after him…
...Yeah, purple cat eyes and a freakin' bloodstain-brown kimono. Cuddlemuffin of death, she is.
Lookin' away from them as they leave the square- apparently going after the horde of guards who're off to 'raid' the mansion- I take note 'a the people left…
Some villagers are still here, mostly 'cause this is the village square. Everyone kinda tuned the speech out when it became a 'we must march into the SDM and get raped by fairies' thing.
Keine, Byakuren, and Miko were all here for the assembly. They had like, speaker positions, but never got to speak. I think they got gypped.
Speakin' 'a those three, they're stepping down from the doofy wedding cake-esque platform structure now, lookin' rather bewildered that a mini war just started right in front of their eyes.
"...This is my fault." Keine instantly was frowny faces. "If I didn't let the school get burnt-"
"Speak nothing of it." Miko interrupted her, her expression soft. "You couldn't have anticipated that. It was unprecedented."
"I agree." Byakuren joined in comforting the teacher. "No one blames you for what happened."
"Bu-but…" Stepping back a bit, Keine seemed taken aback by the sudden support! "...Mmh." Letting out a consenting murmur, she looked away.
The three stand at the bottom of the step-like platforms in silence for a bit. I slowly begin to graze over towards them…
"Should we do anything?" Keine questioned, looking at the outgoing guard horde. "That's not going to end well."
Miko gave a slow shrug. "If anything, the monumental failure of this invasion should send the guard a message. This doesn't even seem to be the people's battle."
Bringing a hand to her chin, Byakuren considered this. "...Now that you mention it, I've been out of touch with the village's military infrastructure. For the longest time, I forgot it had one until some… recent events transpired."
...Walking up to the women and saying nothing, I nodded enthusiastically, my racecar helmet's visor obscuring my face.
…
Keine looked away from me to glance at the other women. "See- this is why I think we need an entire restructuring of the guard in general."
Byakuren eyed the kimono, half-recognizing it…
Miko smiled at me. "...As uncanny as he may appear, he doesn't seem to be a youkai."
I slid the visor on my racecar helmet up. "Hello, friends."
Byakuren just stared. "...I'm curious as to what you've done to the kimono. You seemed to have even doubled its effectiveness, somehow…" Yeah, thank Alice for that.
Keine sighed. "You know what we need?"
...Byakuren turned to her, bringing her hands together. "A new school?"
"That's already halfway completed." Keine stated. "I mean… some sort of artifact or spell that would allow us to detect youkai better. It seems pretty silly that we just… guess at the best of times."
...She looked over me. "It also doesn't help when a margin of the human population dresses like they've never so much as seen practical clothing."
Yo. One hundred percent ice resistance trumps the freakin' rags and shoddy guardsmen armor everyone's got 'round these parts. Not only that, but this stuff blends in with the woods! Disregarding the fact my helmet is like, neon yellow…
"Perhaps my temple could design something along those lines." Byakuren declared! "...Although, I would recommend something of that capability being used in moderation." To accent her point, she looked off in the direction the town guard regiment charged off in…
"Apparently." Keine's expression became dry.
"I'll see what I can do, too." Miko declared, herself! "If we don't have an artifact for it, our skillful magic practitioners should be able to easily forge one." Oo~h… 'skillful magic practitioners'.
"...My thanks." Keine smiled, giving the two women a nod.
...Wait- I was only half paying attention, what happened to the school? There was a school!? Oh- yeah, there was a school. I visited it once to find Keine's office full of schizophrenic scribblings. I should ask her whether or not the guard's black magic was making her lose it, or if she just decided to slather the student's math homework over the walls.
"Have a good day, everyone." Miko turned, waving a hand at us as she stepped away.
"Likewise." Byakuren responded in kind. "Getting right to business?"
Slowing to a stop, Miko turned to her, grinning. "Undoubtedly. I figured such would be implicit."
"Just wondering." Byakuren smiled back at her.
...With that, Miko began to leave properly.
…
Byakuren glanced at Keine and me. "I'm afraid I have some business to attend to. I will see you all later."
Keine stared at her with dry amusement. "I see. Don't work too hard."
Byakuren's smile widened at that. "I should be saying that to you. Take care."
With that, Byakuren left, too…
…
When they were both gone, Keine spoke idly. "I'm not sure who I'd rather owe a favor to."
"They seem cuddly." I gave my two cents!
"...Right." Keine decided to look me over again. "What do you do in your spare time, anyway? I don't mean to pry."
"I snuggle with the local yuki-onna." I informed her. "They're soft, and cold to the touch."
...She blinked. "But… you're human. That's dangerous, isn't it?"
I shake my head. "Not if you wear protection, yo."
Instantly, she jerked her head back, letting her eyes widen. "Oh- oh. You mean- oh. That… still doesn't make sense. Actually, it makes less sense..."
Patting my kimono, I smiled! "One hundred percent ice resistance, yo."
...Keine connects the dots! "Oo~h. Clever. How did you even come across something so enchanted?"
"I had Alice make me this, yo." I turned a little, showin' it off! "It's friendly."
"I see…" Nodding, Keine gave more inquiries! "How much did it cost you?"
"Twenty thousand yen." I smiled, regardless of how generous or insane the price mighta sounded…
"Only?" Keine blinked in amazement! "Perhaps I really should think about visiting her. Resistances for a price that low…" After giving it a few moments of thought, and glancing away, she looks back at me. "Are you her boyfriend?"
Aha. "Yes. No."
...Her expression turned dry. "You can only pick one."
"...No." I settled for no. "She kinda just didn't expect me to have that much money, 'cause I'm usually broke as shit."
"Oh." Keine snorted. "Seems you got lucky, then."
"Mmm…" I nodded idly, the conversation dying down…
…
As the village square's bustle turned back to normal due to the absence of the guard assembly, a friend lazily drifted past us…
Keine and I watched Marisa slowly hover by us, her limbs dangling off her broom as she drifted aimlessly…
"Hi, friend." I greet her. "Welcome to die."
...Awkwardly, Marisa tries to reposition herself- "Aah… damn." Thud. She slowly slid off the side of her broom, landing on the dirt floor of the square. "Oof…"
"How are you, Marisa?" Keine stared down at the poofy-hatted magician. "Reimu got you scouring the village for serial murderers again today?"
Marisa quickly sprung up off the floor, one hand on her hat. "Ee~h, kinda sorta. That, and one 'a my aunts got offed, so that kinda pissed me off. Not a lotta good I think buzzin' around like bees will do us, but I'm bored anyway…"
Keine blinked. "One of your aunts…? Who?"
"Sally, yeah?" Marisa gave a half-smile. "Yea~h, she was one of the dudes who got shanked. I dunno what Maria's doin' right now, but she's livin' with her old folks."
"That's terrible…" Keine looked down. "Are you okay?"
"...Well, yeah." Scratching the back of her head, Marisa continued. "I didn't know her or Maria all that well, so it's no real skin off my bones... but y'just don't do that, y'know? Especially ta one of my not-so immediate family, ze!"
...Keine gave her a stare, before shakin' her head. "Alright."
Marisa looked over at me- "Ho~ly shit what're you wearing?" She began grinning!
"It's a camou-kimono, dude!" I gestured to my clothing for emphasis! "And this is my trusty anti-freeze and anti-harsh lights helmet!"
"Where does this stuff even come from?" Marisa took some steps around me, examining my attire… "First you become male Kaguya, and now you've got this… army… helmet-person thing on." I'm surprised she knows camo's an army thing.
"Alice actually made him that kimono for twenty thousand yen." Keine explained some stuff for me.
...Marisa immediately got in my face. "So~, the hell ya use to threaten Alice, ze…?"
Why~ does she have such a trust problem with me!? "Son- no. Why must this be your first assumption."
"'Cause…" She looks away. "Y'know what, forget it. Just a little jumpy's all… and I'm kinda itchin' for a fight."
"You're not fighting in here." Keine immediately rebukes. "Unless you want it to be with me."
...Marisa grins at her. "We~ll, I could… but nah. I've whacked ya around enough."
Keine just slouches. "That shouldn't be the reason you refrain from starting fights…"
...Looking over at me, Marisa makes a request! "Wanna go explore 'n' stuff? I wanna see how your magic's progressed, since yeah."
Keine smiled! "Ooh? He practices magic? I didn't take him for a math-oriented individual…"
Marisa snorted. "Aw, yeah! I taught him all he needs to know!" Son…! She turns to me! "Tell 'er, Brad!"
...I look over at Keine. "Y'know what math equations do, son?"
Keine furrows her brows. "...What?"
"They kill each other!" I reveal! "Aah!"
Marisa liked that one! "Hehehe… alright, follow me, ze. We'll be takin' the path over that way." She pointed ahead down one of the main village roads. Oo~h, that's the one Akihito had us take to find his wife that one time!
As she began to move forward- drifting with her broom- I followed her…
Taking a glance back, I waved at Keine. "Don't let the math equations get you, yo!"
"I'll… try." Keine looks offput by my incapability with math!
With that, I followed Marisa off to the south gate!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
"Your clothes are magical as fuck, ze." Marisa immediately speaks of my clothes when we get outta the village gate. "Makes sense 'cause Alice made 'em. I don't remember her makin' many helmets before, though…"
"I bought this helmet from Miko, yo." I told 'er. "Sun-resistant."
...Marisa just glances at me. "Sun-resistant? Really?"
"Hey, yo. It's a freakin' sport helmet!" I argue! "I can headbutt with the best of 'em now!"
"...Now I really wanna see Keine try ta headbutt ya with that on." Marisa admitted, lookin' over my helmet. "Oh, well."
Ho ho. That'd be fun.
"So, what new spells ya pick up on?" Marisa drifts back to float by my side as we progress down the whatever-direction-this-even-is path. If the direction of the village I always entered from was east- the Hakurei path's gate- this was the west gate…
"Da~h…" Well, I got new hangers, if that counts. "Do one hundred percent ice-resistant clothes count?"
"No." Marisa smirks. "C'mo~n. Better fireball spell? Star shower? Danmaku patterns?"
I shake my head. "We~ll… I got more hangers!"
…
"Good. What- you gonna shove 'em up my ass?" Marisa gave me a dry stare. "If I flew back a hundred feet and nailed ya with a Master Spark, what'd you try to do to stop me?"
Aw, time to strategize…! "Sit and cry."
…
At her continued dry stare, I elaborate! "Maybe cast a Shine on ya, or Gaia Seed, or-"
"I thought 'cha said you didn't have any new spells!" She furrowed her brows. "Freakin'- it's one or the other, ze! No 'uu~h, maybe'!"
"Those're hanger abilities, though!" I clarify! "Not stuff I actually learned!"
"How do you even cast them if-..." Marisa just sighs. "Y'know what, whatever- I'm gonna try to teach ya somethin' right today." Ooo~...!
As we meander down the path, Marisa eventually takes a turn towards the woods. "Let's try shootin' stuff up over here, ze…"
I follow the gently floating magician deeper into the forest.
…
Fwoash!
A loud sound in the distance makes her begin to slow down… "Someone shootin' lasers? This I gotta see…"
It's kind of a familiar sound to me, though… but I can't put my finger on it.
"Oh, yeah." She glances at me over her shoulder. "If ya wanna pussy out and stay back from the lasers, you can. Can't fly and everything, and it'd suck if I had ta drag yer danmaku-ridden body back ta the village."
"Yeah, yeah." I wave off her concern. I can at least get close enough to see them before I nope the fuck out.
Fwoash!
I know that sound's definitely a laser, of some kind.
…
We press through the woods for a bit-
FWOASH
Yep. Viking monoliths are still here.
A huge, pastel blue beam of ice magic blew through brush that was about twenty feet away from us.
"Woaa~h!" Marisa's jaw drops! "Big laser…!"
...In its wake, much of the brush it plowed through was left icy.
…
After taking a moment to process what just happened, she turned to me. "Yo- hey, were you kiddin' about that ice resistance!?"
I shake my head. "One hu~ndred percent!"
Drifting to the side, she throws an arm forward! "Whaddaya waitin' fer, then? Get up there and tank for me! No goin' back now!"
Running forward, I barrel through the brush towards the viking monoliths!
...Very quickly, I end up sliding around on ice. Ho~ly…
The entire clearing, small pond included, was like, frozen solid. Youkai, fairies, and other such creatures were frozen in blocks of ice next to and just in front of the clearing trees…
Ah- shit!
"Oof…" I slipped and fell on my ass. This kinda su-
FWOASH
...I blink, my eyes readjusting after I was gently pushed across the ice by one of the monolith's ice sparks. Those lasers are bright when you're, like, right in them.
Fwoa-Fwoah… The rightmost monolith generated another snowflake-shaped magical circle. Pale blue swords generated in a revolving ring before it, slowly expanding before dissipating. With that, magic flared up under the monoliths, their attack stats probably getting buffed to hell or something…
Fwoa-Fwoah. The leftmost monolith created a snowflake circle before itself, too-
Krack- krack! Kra-krack! Krack!
Icicles generated in the air around me, popping, cracking, and clinking as they spread some kinda cold energy around…
I just kinda sit there and get spun around by the purely magical icicles. Marisa, what the hell're you planning? I'm getting gently molested over hea!
Looking up in search 'a the witch, I see her positioning herself in the air well over the clearing...
"Magic Waste!" I hear her yell out a spell card! "Deep Ecological Bomb!"
...Thunk! A large, plastic bottle descends from above, and bounces before the rightmost monolith.
Fwoa-woah. The same monolith created another fancy snowflake circle, which soon dissipated with no immediate results.
Fwoa-woah. This process repeated itself with the left one.
The bottle Marisa placed was starting to glow…!
Thu-thu-thunk. Marisa dropped a bunch of smaller plastic bottles from above, the grey canteens bouncing a little away from the monolith and the larger one-
BOOM
A quaint, blue mushroom cloud erupted where the right monolith was-
Fwam! Fwam, fwam! ...I called the previous explosion quaint, but it was more like house-sized. These are like, person-sized. The three canteens Marisa dropped exploded into bright, stationary orbs of non-elemental energy.
...When the magical energy faded- surprisingly little smoke left behind- the monolith was still standing, thin cracks running along its sides.
...Marisa adjusts herself in the air a little-
FWOASH- FWOASH
I am engulfed by two beams of hyper ice magic! Huwoaa~h- yeah I'm just kinda feeling the breeze from the beams. Shutting your eyes doesn't help with the light, though…!
Wait, I'm stupid.
I slide the visor on my racecar helmet down.
...Well, that's the light problem solved. Not that I can do anything on these like, ten layers of ice under me. Ice immunity does not include slip immunity, unfortunately.
"Magic Waste! Deep Ecological Bomb!" Marisa literally just used the same spell again.
Thu-thunk! Another bomb bounced to a stop on the floor before the right monolith.
Fwoa-woah- Fwoa-woah. The monoliths both casted something at the same time, generating a snowflake-styled magical circle before each other.
Kri-krack! A snowflake generates magically at my torso, and begins spinning. Nothing much happens as a result…
Woo~sh. A miniature snowstorm appeared over my body…!
...It faded a few moments later, although I was now covered in a thick coating of snow. Gee, thanks.
Thu-thu-thunk! Thu-thunk! Marisa dropped like, five additional mini-bombs onto the rightmost monolith this time…
BOOM
Another house-sized mushroom cloud enveloped the monolith-
Fwam-fwam-fwam! Fwam, fwam! The super asskicking magical stone was enveloped by a buncha bright orbs!
Kroo~m…
...When the light faded, I got to see the results.
The monolith was now in three pieces, each slab of stone seemingly evenly cut.
Fwoa-woah. The remaining monolith generated a magical circle that did nothing, meaning it probably charged up its ice beam of doom.
...Marisa quickly descended from above, picking up speed as she did so. "Alri~ght! One do-"
FWOASH
The beam somehow pointed up at an awkward angle from the monolith, aimed at Marisa.
"Woa~h!" She spiraled out of the way! "Holy shit that's fast!"
As she lowered, she pulled out her trusty octagonal firearm, and aimed it back down…
"Love Sign…" Her own laser was about to come into play! "Master Spark!"
VRRRRR~
The huge, rainbow-colored laser of love completely engulfed the monolith below. The light was so bright that, even though it was midday, the entire clearing was illuminated with fruity colors. Jesus, this makes the doom laser the monoliths fired look like freakin'... small arms.
RRRRrrrr~...
...As the beam faded out-
Fwoa-woah. The monolith was still standing, and it was still castin' shit! Woah!
...A jagged chunk of ice slowly fell behind Marisa, missing her by a good five seconds.
She looked back at it, and then down at the monolith. "He~y, now… now ya gone and did it!"
Aiming her mini-hakkero at it again, she readied to recast her freakin' doom beam. "Love Si~gn…!"
Fwoa-woah. The monolith quickly readied its own laser!
"Master Spa~rk!"
VRRRRRRR~
FWOASH
My ea~rs. They blee~d. This is the one time I wish my helmet muffled noise…
You know, the one thing really deadly about Marisa's Master Spark is that, despite it being danmaku-based primarily… it's non-elemental. I couldn't stack resistances against that shit if I had all the money in the world, short of building like an adamantite wall between me or her, or locking myself under like a few hundred feet of dirt and rock.
In any case, it looks like Marisa's laser enveloped the monolith's- oo~h! No, it didn't actually! However, it seems as though Marisa drifted to the left a bit as she fired, the monolith's beam not actually connecting with her despite cutting through her laser. That's the perk of firing a really wide beam, I guess...
RRRRRRrrrr~...
...When the beam's light faded, the results were clear again!
The monolith- was still standing, Jesus Christ. It was largely cracked now, and crackling with danmaku energy.
"Holy crap…" Marisa was impressed, too! "Just break already, ya stupid rock! Sparks're my thing!"
Fwoa-woah. The monolith casted that one magical circle with the revolving sword pattern again, strengthening its offensive capabilities. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what it does. Not that it matters, considering Marisa's playing hard to get up there, and I can just eat everything.
"What're you, ice elemental?" Marisa furrowed her brows at it, lowering a little further. "Let's see how ya like this!"
Please don't try to burn the rock or something, Marisa.
"Magic Cross! Grand Cross!"
Four blackish purple spheres generated in the air around Marisa. As she lowered, translucent beams of light shone out from her form in a basic plus shape-
Chi-Fwam! Also, lots of red bullets! Freakin', thick ones, stream-like ones, the works!
Chi-Fwam! Chi-Fwam! Chi-Fwam! Circling in the air over the monolith, she let a good portion of her seemingly fire-based bullets pelt it…
When I looked closer, I realized all the bullets with flaming trails were being produced by the purple orbs she made, whereas the solid, thick walls of tinier red bullets were coming from her herself.
Also- freakin' danmaku!
Scrambling to get out of the way, I reach into my bag and take out freakin'... half of Tundra Bloomer, and begin using it like a oar to paddle myself across the ice…
Ow- ow- dammit Marisa- that danmaku hurts! Shit! Fire sucks! Aaa~h! Paddle faster- paddle faster…!
I end up in some shimmering, half frozen bushes a good distance down the clearing. Thankfully, the flaming bullets don't seem to actually burn any of the foliage they hit, so I'm safe…
...However, I am now like, overheated. Overheated while sliding on ice in the middle of winter, yeah. Gensokyo's freakin' weird!
Kroo~m…
Eventually, the monolith fell because Marisa bashed it with one of the purple orbs, noticing her danmaku itself wasn't doing anything. The orb shattered and dissipated, although since it somehow cleaved the monolith into three even parts, Marisa-
"Woohoohoo~!" She raised an arm in celebration! "Magic rocks ain't got anything on me, ze!"
-yeah, she didn't really care now that the battle was over.
Her danmaku dissipated, thank frik. No more fire shit.
...The fire danmaku seems to have melted a large sum of the ice, too, and the tiny pond was now semi-thawed.
Stumbling out of the woods- getting my balance back now that the ice was kinda slushy- I march towards Marisa with wet shoes…
She's trying to lift one of the monolith rocks, and failing. "Ho~ly… dude, these things weigh… a hundred pounds…!"
Sploosh. Her pulling from the side of the broom eventually causes her to exert enough force to push her broom into the slush.
"Eeh!" She yelps, leaping out of the ice cold water and onto her feet- which were also gonna end up in ice water.
Splash! She was now submerged up to her ankles.
"Damn…" She grimaces at the sensation. "Alright, I think I hate ice elemental rocks now."
I eventually reach her! The slush in my shoes is uncomfortable, but excusable 'cause of my ice resistance. I have no idea how Marisa's standing it, though.
...Immediately after considering that, she starts fidgeting. Her broom raises out of the water behind herself, and she sits on it again. "...You try lifting one 'a the stones. I betcha you can't."
"You're probably not wrong…" I agree with her! Positioning myself around the smallest one, I crouch down into the freakin' slush, and begin lifting…
...Wow. I'm… budging it ever so slightly. I mean, Marisa was too, so this isn't progress.
...Pushing Tundra Bloomer back into my bag fully, I take a brief moment to buff myself up. Ho ho~!
Alright. Take two!
"See?" Marisa took my initial failure as an opportunity to mock me! "Toldja~."
I wrap my arms around the sides of the smallest portion of the monolith again, and li~ft…
"Hnn~gh…!"
I-I… I'm…
...Not doing it! I'm like half lifting it, though…!
"Oh, shit." Marisa blinks. "Y'know what I just realized?"
"Wh-what…!?" Trying to focus on lifting heavy rock right now! Am-... am I sinking deeper into the floor? I'm exerting more pressure on the slush beneath myself than I am this freakin' magical paperweight…!
Then, the stone floats out of my hands entirely, becoming engulfed in a telekinetic aura.
…
I look over at Marisa, and just fold my arms. Good time to remember you could do that.
"Hehehe~..." She chuckles. "Too used to doing things the old fashioned way. Wait- shit…"
Splash! The stone falls back into the ice water, splashing me.
Reaching into her hat, she dug around, until she pulled out a clear jar with blue liquid inside…
"Here…" Taking the mana potion, she unpopped the cork, reeled her head back, and chugged it. "Mmgh…"
...I watched her chug the mana potion for a good thirty seconds, before the tiny jar was done and dusted.
"Haa~h…" She exhaled after downing it. "...Pftoo~." She also spat out some of her saliva into the slush. "The~re we go. Those mana bombs eat a lotta mana, y'know?"
Holding her hand out, the stone lifts again, water surging to fill the place where it sat…
"Cool!" With that, she slowly begins drifting off. "Let's get outta this soggy hellhole."
"Yea~h…" I take one last glance at the freakin' demolished clearing. I wonder when all the frozen youkai and fairies will thaw out… this place is like a recreation of the ice age!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
The side fields around the village are kinda curious places. Really pristine, although in a few places there's some curious looking caves and structure-like things. Even so, we didn't get bothered like, at all.
"...It's a bit quiet, innit?" I comment on how freakin' quiet it's been.
She gives me a glance before focusing on the trees ahead. "Aa~h, most youkai know not to bother me by now. At least, the smart ones, which're like… some 'a the stronger ones… actually, every level 'a power has some stupid youkai. Just less so the higher the power we're talkin' is."
Yeah, that makes sense. Particularly 'cause they're more docile, like Yuuka. She usually won't killgore you without provocation… which can include stepping on flowers, but y'know…
"Although, it is a little quieter than usual." Marisa agreed, glancing around as she drove her broom… "I guess all those frozen youkai mighta lived around here."
That could be it. Hmm...
...As we moved through the midday plains and mixed forestry, we began to near the magical forest's rim. Those freakin' unnaturally big trees, yo.
…
"Can you like…" Marisa dryly looked over at me. "Don'cha got something for speed?"
I nodded. "Only when I'm freakin' crippled, yo."
…
Marisa slowly turns around in the air, and aims her mini-hakkero at me. "One 'a those urgency haste spells, huh?"
"Son, no." I backed up a little…! "It's for emergencies, son- don't do this, son…!"
"Boredom is an emergency!" Marisa argued, grinning. "Start dancin'!"
…
After a few moments of just staring at eachother, she created two translucent green orbs at her sides, their forms blurry…
In their midst, two green rocket-shaped bullets appeared. O~h.
Quickly, I reach into my bag, turn around, and begin running in the vague direction of the magic woods…!
The green rockets slowly accelerate forward towards where my feet were.
Making little noise- 'cept for some quiet wooshes and ticking sounds- they collided with the grass and made visible blasts of magical energy where they landed.
Pulling out Million Bucks- and receiving pretty much no speed 'cause I felt pretty good- I keep booking it towards the woods! "Could you not mow me down with rockets!?"
"Would ya prefer lasers!?" Marisa yelled as she slowly followed behind me. Literally every half-second she'd make two more rockets, and quickly send them accelerating after me. Their person-wide blast radius was freakin' terrifying but not overwhelmingly difficult to evade by zigzagging…
Until Marisa bothered to aim, that is. As I dashed to the right, a rocket hit me right in the back-
Tick! Despite the disproportionately weak sounding noise, the blast actually flings me! I'm sent sliding forward, before falling forward onto my face-
Except! I.. glide forward and onto my stomach anyway, except softly this time. My plan was to double jump, but I forgot this hanger replaces my double jump with a glide. This works, too.
"Pfft…?" Marisa grins at me as I get back up. "The hell was that? Oh- are you learnin' to fly!?"
...As I stand, I look at her dryly. "No~pe. This hanger just lets me glide instead 'a double jump."
...Marisa just nods idly. "Good. Sounds like a real upgrade. How about a hanger that makes ya strafe everywhere while yer at it?"
Y'know, in some retro FPS games, strafe-walking is faster than walking. It'd be cool if it made you strafe and made you faster when strafing. Feel like a real FPS hero!
"That'd actually be cool." I rebuke Marisa's jeer with reception! "It'd have to make my strafing faster than just walkin' normally, though."
We are now entering the edge of the forest of magic! The sky's already dimming unnaturally, as per the forest's biome nonsense… it must be something in the leaves.
Still moving forward, Marisa grins at me. "Whatever floats yer boat. I can't see how strafe- well… okay, strafing and moving helps, but only in air combat, I'd think." She tilts her head back 'n' forth in compromise.
She seems to have forgotten to shoot me repeatedly, probably because conversation. Not complainin', yo, just observin'...
As we continue forward, we pass a particularly brilliant red plant, with vibrant, thick leaves. It's not a rafflesia, it's more like a really thick… flower thing. The petals have a weird texture to them.
...I keep a distance from the unique flower. Something that weird's gotta be bad news! Especially in the forest of youkai, magic, and untold peril.
Marisa snorted at my action. "...What, you scared of an alraune?"
Alraune? That's a plant monster, innit?
...Ho~h, shit, I was right! The weird plant's a youkai! What still has to be determined is whether it's friend or foe… although in the wilds of Gensokyo it's better to eeb on the side of caution.
I'll ask Marisa anyway! "Are they friendly?"
"Nope." She replies bluntly. "Well- sometimes, but only if you give 'em snacks or grow 'em yourself. Otherwise, yer the snack!"
We pass by it pretty readily without it doing anything…
"How mean are they?" I'd like to know for future reference! Despite all my climbs into this forest, I've never seen one. Probably 'cause I never stray from the like, small section of forest Marisa and Alice occupy.
"Sometimes they're quiet." Marisa nods. "Sometimes they're annoying. Sometimes-"
Loud, wet noises come from behind us. Aw, it's a friend, dude…
From the previously closed middle section of the flower, a particularly young-looking, green-skinned girl raises out of some red, gel-like substance in the middle. "Hehehaha~!"
"Yeah, 'hahaha' yourself." Marisa aims her mini-hakkero at her immediately. "Choose yer fate, ze."
The plant-like girl had large, crescent-shaped leaves for arms, her legs stretching somewhere into the flower's inner pod…
She had a kinda generic bobby haircut with pink hair, and was freakin'... broad as the plains, yo. Pretty clearly not a seduction creature!
"Oo~h, human…" The alraune drawled. "Two of you, in fact. Mmm…"
"Y'gonna use danmaku today?" Marisa asked plainly. "Or are ya one of those types who just throws her stuff at people and expects it to actually hit?"
"I admit your balance on that broom… is impressive." The alraune shifts about, grinning widely. "But I can tell, it is precarious."
Marisa stares back dryly. "Yeah, hangin' onto the edge 'a my seat, here."
The alraune dips the edge of one of her leaves into the red gel she's sitting in. "You see, my gel-"
"Burns skin, dissolves stuff, yap yap yap." Marisa cuts her off. "Stopped being intimidating after the twenty zillionth-"
Drifting to the side, Marisa easily moved out of the way of a glob of red gel.
Splat! It hit the tree behind her-
Sss~... the bark sizzled as the gel flowed down it, before quickly drying and hardening into a orange substance. Looks healthy, yeah.
The transparent orbs at Marisa's sides flared up again, and she shot two waves of two rockets at the alraune, four total colliding with her flower-
Ti-tick! Ti-tick!
"Nhga~h…" Groaning, the alraune bared her teeth. Why does a plant need basic human-like teeth?
Snapping sounds began creaking out from the alraune, as Marisa idly drifted to the side…
Snap! Snap!
...The red petals of the large flower began to shift, as the plant itself seemed to deroot from the base before it cleanly.
Marisa blinks! "Oo~h! You're one of them new breeds of the red kind I heard about!"
Once the flower slides off of the base- which seemed to be just a stem and some leaves that came from the ground, and not the red flower itself- the petals connect with the floor like little legs.
"Be afraid!" The alraune directly requests. Well, that's one way to put it…!
Marisa begins generating more rockets, creating freakin', eight more within two seconds-
The alraune leaps, getting surprising air with her tiny petal legs. Soaring over Marisa, her flower seemed to drip red goo.
Marisa air-strafed to the side, aiming her rockets up at the alraune as she examined the air gained. "Wo~w!"
Landing, the alraune's already facing Marisa's new position, tossing another glob of red gel. "Here!"
Marisa slightly drifts out of the way, letting the glob miss her by a smaller margin than it coulda just 'cause.
In this timeframe, Marisa already sent like, twelve rockets- and counting- at the alraune.
Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti- holy shit, yeah. The reason why it's two at a time is 'cause she sends 'em out two at a time.
"Eaa~h!" Overwhelmed by the danmaku energy, the alraune collapses onto her flower's petals, and the flower itself just plops into the ground.
...Drifting up to her, Marisa took an empty bottle from her hat, and carefully leaned close to the flower.
Bloop. The bottle skimmed the surface of her red gel, collecting some of it.
"Tha~nk you!" Marisa thanked the stunlocked alraune, and popped a cork into the top of the bottle.
"Nh-anh…" The alraune quivered, her face furious but her body unresponsive.
With that, Marisa began drifting away again, at first quickly, but slows down once she realizes I still exist. "C'mo~n."
"My legs can only move so fast…!" I move to keep up with her!
"We're gonna get jumped by like ten youkai 'cause yer so freakin' slow." Marisa rails on my lack of haste! "...Y'know, how are you not dead yet?"
"I stay outta a lotta fights…!" I grin at her. "Except the ones I know- or at least think- I'll win."
...She tilts her head back 'n' forth. "Gotta do what'cha gotta do, I guess. That seems like a pitifully boring way to live, though."
"Not when yer tapdancin' it ain't…!" Trust me, it's anything but boring on the bottom!
Marisa grins back. "Again, whatever floats yer boat. I can't imagine bein' that weak. I mean, I remember what it was like, but visualizing it now's just weird." Daily reminder that Marisa climbed the power ladder manually!
We continue through the magic brush- yo woah…! Freakin'- these roots are out to maul me, yo. Marisa probably didn't take this path with much foot travel in mind…!
"Hey, hey!" Another young-looking red alraune creeps out of the nearby brush! "Hehehe~!"
A blue-styled spider girl spins down from the canopy above! "Oo~h? What do we have-"
Marisa stops floating forward towards her, and does a ninety-degree strafe almost immediately after. From there, she just spams green rockets again.
The spider girl's eyes widen, and she lowers quicker. "Hu- huma-"
Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti-tick! Ti-tick!
Thud. "Auu~h…" The spider girl fell from her web, lying on the forest floor on her back, her legs curled up. "Ow- ow- ow…"
Marisa proceeds to fly over the fallen spider girl-
Splat! One of the trees around her gets hit with red goo from the alraune.
"Ghh…" Grimacing, the alraune's eyes begin to glow! "This is it, human!"
As Marisa reaches into her hat, the alraune lifts a glowing glob of goo from her red gel center, and lobs it forward-
Fwoom! It flares up with red energy as it hurtles towards the magician. At first, it seems like Marisa has no intent of dodging it.
Then, Marisa rotates her broom upside down, allowing her to completely avoid the clump of goo-
Fwam! It hit a tree's bark, and exploded. Hoh! A scorch mark was left behind on the bark.
Marisa's hat drifts off 'cause 'a gravity- being upside-down and all- revealing her hand to be holding one of the small canteen bombs from earlier. Rotating herself rightside up, she drifts towards the alraune…
Skittering towards the magician, the alraune bares her crescent leaf arms! "Hehehaha~! Yes- come here! Come here!"
Promptly, Marisa spawns a couple rocket salvos as she nears-
Ti-tick! Ti-tick!
"Gah…!?" Staggering back from their impact, the youkai shielded herself with her leaf arms. "Foolish…!"
Getting within' freakin' whacking distance of the alraune-
Clonk! Marisa just up and rams the youkai's head with her broom.
"Gngh!?" Reeling back, the alraune stumbled further-
As Marisa drifted over her, she tossed the canteen bomb backwards, almost leisurely. She did have to look behind to make the toss, though.
Bloop! It fell into the alraune's gel.
"Nn~h…" Wiping her mouth with her right leaf, the alraune began to recover. "...How pointle-"
Fwa-fwa-fwam! The alraune was engulfed in a lasting orb of pale blue energy, the danmaku energy hitting her repeatedly.
"Aau~gh!"
...Thud. The alraune collapsed like the other one we saw, splaying out over one of her own petals. This time, her sides and petals were also spattered with some of her own gel.
"Hahaha~!" Marisa got a kick out of her handy work. "That one's always great."
...I will say that it is fortunate that all the youkai recognize Marisa as the greater threat. I could probably take the alraunes with my fire hanger, but not without actually hurting them. That goo seems like it would suck ass, too.
Marisa goes back to retrieve her hat from the forest floor. "See, ze? I coulda just skipped those mooks if I didn't hafta cover for ya!"
"Well ya had to, so ya did." I counter her prodding with reality, yo. "Freakin' nuggets."
Once she obtains her hat, Marisa continues to drift off. Oh, yeah- that monolith part's been with her the whole time, but she's been keeping it behind her back during fights. She probably wants it as pristine as possible, yo.
...Freakin'- "Slow down!" I call out after Marisa as she speeds ahead! "Some of us gotta use our legs, ya freakin'...!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We make it to Marisa's shack without too much further trouble! It's still partially made out of ice, too!... I say not too much further trouble, but Marisa wasn't wrong about the whole 'ten youkai' thing. Only one targeted me, and it was some spider girl… it was a short story. Marisa's like the freakin' Touhou equivalent of Duke Nukem.
The sun's setting, meaning we've been out in the freakin' woods all day, pretty much.
"He~re we go…" Marisa flies up to her porch, hops off her broom, flicks the knob and pushes the door open. Moving inside, she has the monolith part float in behind her.
The ice just reminded me- I gotta get that icicle from Ganken's cave enchanted! Aa~h!
"Yo- you remember that ice enchanting spell?" I call out after Marisa as I follow her in...
"Yea~h." She calls back. "I wrote it down somewhere, but I also memorized it. Why, ya need somethin' to not melt so fast?"
Reaching into my bag, I take out the magic icicle. "Yeah, this."
"Alri~ght…" Staring intently at it, Marisa focused for a brief moment… before swiping her hand across it. The icicle flashed brightly, only for half a second. "There ya go."
Yo ho ho. I pocket the icicle. "Thanks, friend."
...Marisa slowly lowers the monolith fragment to the floor. After she gets it low enough, she lets it drop-
Crack! It falls through the wood floor, embedding itself in the soil beneath the house.
"Why." Marisa vainly stares at the hole. "A rock so small has no right to be so heavy."
…
"I can't seem to detect magic from it anymore…" Marisa furrows her brows and reaches down to touch the stone-
Fwoa-woah. The rock flickers unnaturally, causing her to retract her hand. "Woah- shit…"
...Despite her tensing up, nothing happens as a result of it flickering and flaring up.
"...Did it just use the ambient mana to do that?" Marisa stared at the hole in the floor with wonder. "Also- yeah holy shit that thing's got more mana than I do right now. Wow."
Floating the stone up out of the floor, she moves for the door again. "Gonna have to look at it outside, incase it explodes or something. That, and it falls through all my stuff."
As such, we relocate outside to look at the cleanly cut monolith fragment! Well, cleanly cut from one side.
Thunk! Dirt is kicked up once Marisa drops it from six feet.
"Alright…" Marisa circles and looms over the stone. "You know what the hell those rocks were?"
"Viking monoliths." I nod in satisfaction. "Ancient asskicking tributes to viking culture."
...Marisa stares at me dryly. "I don't remember them firing huge ice lasers, ze."
I spread my arms out. "Therefore, Gensokyo!"
…
Rolling her eyes, Marisa nods. "Point. So~..." Crouching next to the rock, Marisa takes a nearby stick and starts poking it. "Do they just do ice stuff?"
"Nah, they primarily cast fire spells, today was just opposite day." I explain to her.
"...If that was actually a thing, I'd wish it happened to more people." Marisa smirks at the stone. "Although, since I'm non-elemental, would my spells all become physical attacks?"
"Would hitting things be a magical attack?" I ponder, too!
Fwoa-woam. The monolith fragment flickers.
"...This rock apparently thinks it's freakin' opposite day." Marisa stares down at it. "Wants to turn into pure mana and just fly away in the wind."
I give her a suggestion. "Splinter it into a million pieces and cast it to the wind."
"Okay." Marisa smoothly slips out her mini-hakkero. "Love Si~gn…!"
Wait, what!? "Son, no- I was jokin'!"
"Pffft…" She shook her head, lowering the octagonal weapon of mass destruction. "Hey, you suggested it, ze. You shouldn't have regrets in life!"
Y'freakin' wisenheimer!
…
She pokes the rock with her stick again. Then, she stands up and kicks it. "Enh."
You know what I just thought about? "Does your hat have hammerspace?"
"Yep." She replies bluntly. "It can drift like a hat, and hold a lotta stuff! Provided, it stores stuff in just like, a box under my house. I enchant all my backups, too. If it actually had the weight of the stuff I cram in it, I'd die. I also only let small stuff fit in it for a reason."
Huh. Good ta know… guess making custom hammerspace takes work. I wonder if my bag stores my crap somewhere in the mansion. Didn't Remilia used to have this bag, or something? What'd she even use it for?
"We~ll…" Marisa stretches! "Got any idea whatcha wanna learn? 'Cause I really dunno what to even do with you, you're just freakin'..." She pauses, as if finding a tactful word, before smirking. "Useless? Yeah." That was not at all a tactful word!
Hmm~...
"Any limits?" I question how much she's willing to teach me.
"Y'wanna learn differential equations involving mana allocation and basic geometrical mana control?" Marisa delivers this to me with a droll expression. "Ya get to draw boxes with formulas."
...I fidget a bit. "Ahah- no."
"Thought not." Standing up, Marisa brought her arms behind her head. "Keep it simple, ze. If ya think too hard, ya might get a concussion."
Son.
...Let's see. I can cast Lucky Star- that one star attack that bounces and does non-elemental damage- and uh… not much else comes to mind! There's that wimpy fireball, but why would I use that when Flame Salvo's a freakin' flamethrower? I could also do that thing with the blocks… oo~h yeah! I could also summon crusty pillows! Yeheha~h!
Maybe a basic elemental spell would do me good, so that I wouldn't always need freakin'... the right kinda weapon equipped so I don't get curbstomped.
"Can you teach me how to make mana bombs?" Time to push my luck!
"Nope." Marisa shakes her head. "...Well, yeah, but no."
Can I bait her into it? "I betcha can't, yo."
She just rolls her eyes. "I like- invented that trick. And it didn't work for me, either..."
...Well, then!
"Healing spell?" That'd be really helpful.
"Don't have any!" Marisa grins. "Potions for life! Healing spells are cheap, anyway."
Good. Yeah, they are kinda cheap aren't they…? I've yet to face many things that heal themselves, though. Man, thinking of a good spell is tough!
Next suggestion! "Ice magic?"
Marisa holds out her arms! "Dude- I'm a non-elemental mage! I mean- yeah, I know some elemental spells, but… engh."
Alri~ght, yo. Sheesh. Someone doesn't like their elemental spells…!
"Laser beams." Since that's her specialty and all. "Can ya teach me ta shoot a freakin' laser beam?"
…
Marisa tilts back and forth a little. "I could try. Worst case scenario, you get another flashlight. Well-... yeah, that's pretty much worst case scenario."
...I'd like to know what she felt she needed to add for a moment. "'Well' what?"
"The actual worst case scenario would be like, generating the beam backwards and making it shoot inta yerself." Marisa grinned. "I'd know, on more than a few occasions."
Good.
"I'm startin' ya off with a danmaku beam, or else you'll just kill yerself." With that, Marisa began stepping back towards the house. "Don't expect anything amazin', though. Oh- how many bullets can ya make, by the way?"
Daa~h… from what I remember of danmaku, it was like, one stream maybe and that was it. "Some?"
We make our way back into the cozy house! The sun's almost well and set by now…
Marisa has a fireplace, apparently. Considering how much shit she's got lying around, that seems like a bad idea! It's a tiny one, though.
"Whaddaya mean 'some'?" Marisa bends over a pile of books in the darkness of the house, and begins sifting through them despite the freakin' pathetic lighting. "Shouldn't you be able to like…"
Marisa snaps her fingers, and a soft orb of light generates in the air above her. Ho ho!
"Shouldn't you be able to make some streams? Fairy-tier stuff?" Marisa guessed, before glancing up from the tome pile to look at me. "Reimu did teach ya 'bout danmaku, right?"
I nod. "Yeah. I can shoot pitiful streams of blue bullets." Might not 'a been Reimu, though!
"Aa~h, right…" Marisa pauses.
...Then, she tugs on a book!
The pile shifts and multiple books slide out of place after Marisa tears a book from the depths. "He~re we are. Reference tome if we need it…" Opening it to a random page, Marisa sets it back down on the pile, fumbling with it until it's secured. "Good."
I start generating blocks with an open hand, leaving me with a stack of blocks!
...Idly looking over at me, Marisa lunges forward and knocks the stack of blocks out of my hand. "Alright! Let's get started, ze!"
"Oh no." I stare at the blocks like they died.
"So, I want 'cha to~..." Looking around, Marisa furrowed her brows. Then, she raised a hand. "Shoot these things with danmaku."
I look behind myself. Some of the barren tables in her room had stacked up to form a tiny table fort.
"Oo~h." I observe the tables! "Table homicide."
"Yeah, screw 'em up." Marisa folded her arms. "I wanna see how inefficient yer danmaku casting is."
Alright, yo…
How did it go, again?
Raising my hand, I aim an open palm forward…
Pew, pew, pew! A salvo of blue bullets shoots out, one at a time. They make a small, slow spiral into the table fort, pattering into non-existence against a single spot on it.
…
That's it. I can't make anymore. My mana's not out, but nothing else generates. Provided, I never experimented much with it…
"Wow." Marisa held a hand to her chin, her other arm still around herself. "...Dude, who the hell taught you to shoot danmaku? It sure wasn't Reimu, unless she skimped on ya!"
...Oh! I remember! "Byakuren! She taught me, yo."
...Marisa slouched. "Ah. Byakuren. The girl known for her projectile attacks."
...She does have a point.
"A'right, so…" Marisa steps up to me. "You're tryin'a like, pour mana into your hands and stuff and make burly bullets. Now that's great and all, and I'mma let 'cha finish with that... but that's not great, it actually sucks ass."
...Oh.
"Makin' powerful bullets is useless when yer not powerful." Marisa provided! "You'd need a tool fer that, otherwise the pellets are just as useless as any other pellet for like quinzilliontuple the cost. Like this."
Reaching into her hat, Marisa took out what at first looked like the mini-hakkero, when it was actually just the octagonal exterior, with the glass panel that housed the device's core.
Aiming it at the tables, Marisa fired-
Pew, pew, pew!
Tiny, green bullets soared out like plasma bolts, thunking against the table. Each spot that was hit left scorch marks, accompanied by a faint sizzle. Geesh.
"I could like, one on one a wolf asshole with this." Marisa grinned at it as she put it away again. "Y'see? Anyway, what you need is to make a fuckton 'a bullets."
"I can't shoot anymore for some reason…" I wave my hand around, attempt to charge it with different amounts of mana, so forth, but freakin'... nothing.
Moving across the room, Marisa began rifling a desk's undershelf. "That's 'cause 'a the power you put inta the bullets earlier. Reimu's danmaku framework puts cooldowns on rambunctious people like us, ze. S'all about 'elegance'."
Oo~h! Elegance, yo!
"S'not a bad thing, though." Marisa pulled an already opened bag of crackers out of the desk. "Gotta learn some restraint to know how to break it! For someone like you, though, it might be hard for awhile until ya get used to smaller and smaller amounts."
Taking a cracker out, she munches on it.
...I just watch her. Now I want food…!
She continues despite not being done with it yet! "I say this because ya just fell into Gensokyo almost a month ago, so yer still like… not acclimated with magic and spell castin' at all. Maybe your mana pool grew a little. I mean-" Marisa stops to swallow the cracker. "I mean I dunno what it's like on the outside, but man, you ain't magic, ze."
Honh. About what I anticipated, but that feels weird after all this time. A month of just screwin' about…!
"When ya can fire again, try putting the least amount 'a magic into the bullets as possible." Marisa instructed me.
Least amount 'a magic, huh? I never really quantified my magic, I just kinda spread it around and hoped it did stuff… not that I can even see it or feel it most 'a the time!
...I gi~ve my hand a trickle. Just a trickle!
A blue bullet comes out, takes three seconds to drift like ten feet, and dies against the table fort.
"Mmm~." Marisa hums at the sight. "Waddaya think?"
"Slow, sad, and shame." I make another cuddly bullet…
Casting her crackers aside, Marisa walks back to the center of the room where I was despite only eating one cracker. "Yeah, well that's probably the amount of mana yer gonna have to get used to. If ya wanna shape the bullets and stuff, yer gonna hafta experiment and shape stuff, which is partially memory and preference. But also mana stuff."
...Holding out my hand, I make another noob bullet. Imagining a star as I do so, I begin to shape it…
I end up with like, a boomerang shaped thing. Releasing it, it moved at an awkward slant to the left. Ho ho!
"What I can teach ya is beams and stuff! Kinda!" Marisa moves up to the reference tome on the pile of books, and adjusts it! "First, ya gotta imagine a beam shape, yeah."
I do it! Extending my arm with my palm facing outward, I generate a long yellow tube, which just falls to the ground and dies.
She smirks at my attempt. "But if ya wanna fire a laser instead 'a like, a cylinder or a really long bullet, ya gotta do some magic."
Magic? Aawh- I was hoping I could get through learning magic without the magic part, yo.
"There's a few ways 'a doin' it." Moving away from the book, Marisa stepped up next to me, holding up her regular mini-hakkero. "The first is to make a guideline thing. It's non-elemental and not actually danmaku, but you can use it to make a really long persistent beam thing. It's used in cooler beams and stuff but not always for the same reason."
To demonstrate, she points the mini-hakkero forward. A thin, white line appears pointing from the epicenter-
Chioo~m! A yellow beam generates along the entire line, flourishing outward all at once and through the table. As it retracts, the table it pierced doesn't show any immediate damage. It did have a glowing spot for a second after, though.
...I turn to her. "That line seems like it kinda gives away where the laser'll be though…!"
Marisa grins, relaxing her posture. "Yeah, s'kinda the point. Reimu's not a fan 'a instant bullshit, and those kinda beams can be kinda taxing anyway. 'Sides, if ya generate 'em fast enough, it won't make a difference!"
Hmm…
"Their point is basically area denial and stuff, and you can make 'em last stupid long times sometimes too, especially if it's just like, one, since that's practically useless." Aiming her mini-hakkero forward again, she held onto her firing arm with her free arm. "Now, I'ma show ya my favorite kinda laser…!"
Fwoam! A yellow beam of identical width to the last one roared out from the mini-hakkero, expanding out from it directly like a bullet. Unlike the last one, however, it was louder-
Bam! The table fort was thrown apart by it, too!
...It was also over a lot quicker, quickly minimizing into a pinprick.
Relaxing again, Marisa stared at the small billow of smoke coming from her mini-hakkero. "These… expandin' lasers I guess, they're a lot more powerful. They also eat a lotta mana, but man are they cool. You're probably not gonna be able to shoot a strong one in a million years."
Wait, you mean I'll be able to shoot an expanding one period? Hoh, sign me up!
"So~..." Aiming her mini-hakkero forward leisurely, Marisa made a yellow cylinder slide out of it and float outward. "...Actually, I'm not sure if you can do an expanding beam with just yer hands. Y'see, you gotta like, apply this sorta power to make the magic ya generate gush out. The bullet's shape is mostly just to keep it from splashing out and engulfing yerself."
Now that ya say that, I gotta do it, yo.
Aiming my own hand forward, I created a yellow cylinder like Marisa's. Envisioning it sliding out of my hand, I watched it happen.
...Unlike hers, it just kinda fell. Freakin'...!
Making another, I do so with slight more vigor! Once the cylinder's nearly all out, I jerk my hand forward. It shoots forward as it falls downward, like I punched a freakin' giant block.
"Alright, what the hell're you doing?" Marisa dryly stared at me, stepping back to the side of the room…
"Ho ho…" Not exactly respondin' to her, I make another cylinder! As it slides out, I make another one behind that one, and the two kinda overlap. Jerking my arm forward, it makes the cylinder that's almsot entirely out shoot outward, while the one still mostly in my hand doesn't move. Aw, dude…!
Continuously generating a single cylinder every second or so, I get a system where I punch my arm forward and launch a single yellow cylinder a second.
"What. No." Marisa shakes her head with faux dismay. "That's not a laser. That's not a laser at all, ze…!"
Hmm~... focusing, I start generating the cylinders every half second, and jerking my arm back and forth every half second. Were I not shooting cylinders, I'd probably look demented.
...I think I look demented anyway! "Wahaha!"
Shaking her head and grinning, Marisa began to meander towards the resource book… "Freakin'…"
...Aw, dude! I can make danmaku with both hands!
Flailing both my arms windmill style, I chuck blocks high enough to pelt the ceiling repeatedly.
"As it turns out," Marisa interjects, thumbing through the tome. "That ain't how ya make lasers!"
I eventually stop, and strut over to Marisa. "Hello, friend."
"So basically…" Looking closer at the page, Marisa subtly pans her head around to skim it. "Well- one way of doing it is sorta like, making bullets inside 'a bullets."
Danmaku just keeps getting better and better!
Before she can go any further, I hold out a hand again and generated a yellow cylinder. It falls out of my hand and freakin' kills itself on the wood floor.
I turn to Marisa. "How do make not die do?"
She rolls her eyes. "Ya gotta exert mana to maintain danmaku, y'know. That's why if you beat the crap outta someone, their spell cards break. Doesn't happen so much with non-spells since they're so low maintenance, but y'catch my drift, right?"
Nodding, I look past her at the tome she's reading from. Freakin'... Japanese. "Yeah. Do I like, tag the projectiles or somethin'?"
She nods. Ooh! "Yeah- no." Oh. "It's another imaginary thing, which ya can thank Reimu for. You gotta kinda will each bullet to do watcha want, and not just let 'em go off and do their own thing so much. Spell cards kinda help automate this with a structure and a bunch frameworkin' bullshit that I don't got the time or crayons to explain to ya, but yeah."
...I look down at my hand. Jesus, Danmaku is simultaneously a little clunky for what it's interpreted as, yet still a million times simpler than I thought it'd be going into it.
"This is why people do spreads and stuff for their non-spells, they're easy as shit to remember and make note 'a each bullet." Marisa closes the tome. "...This thing didn't help at all!" Taking the book, she tosses it into an adjacent book pile with a flick of her wrist.
"So~..." I start considering where to begin-
"Make a bullet that floats by wanting it to float the entire time." Marisa summarizes what I should probably attempt, reading my lost expression.
Oka~y!
Holding my hand out, aiming it at the remnants of the table fort, I begin to generate a yellow cylinder from my hand…
Jerking my hand forward, the geometry disengages, floating forward. Keeping my hand held up like I'm some kinda freakin' Jedi master, I focus on the cylinder. It stays in the air!
...It drifts into one of the tables and dies. Honh.
"Good!" Marisa gives me a thumbs up! "Making a guided area denial laser's as easy as you might expect- draw line, get laser- but makin' the brute force type's gonna be interesting." Looking away, she scratches her cheek, before meandering towards the table fort... "Just do what I say, and it'll probably go okay."
Yeah, probably. Probably…
With a few waves of her hands, she rearranges the table fort into place, stackin' 'em all up again.
"Oka~y…" Marisa walks up to me. "Hold out yer arm, palm outward, like ya've been doin'."
I do so, aiming my arm at the table fort!
Tilting a bit, Marisa stares at the palm of my hand. "Now, I want you to like… generate the cylinder but don't let it leave yer hand and suicide. It has so much to live for!"
Aw, frik! Danmaku suicide prevention…!
Carefully generating the yellow cylinder, I keep it held partially in my palm…
"Now… now now now." Marisa ponders what to say next, standing upright again. "Can yo~u… amplify your hand's mana? In a sorta circle around the cylinder. If ya need a visual, picture it glowin' and makin' any kinda magical circle."
Ooh, okay.
Closing my eyes and imagining her description, using a generic pentagram-esque design in my mind, I try to picture my hand glowing like the surface of Marisa's mini-hakkero when it readies a laser…
My hand starts to have a burning sensation, which is eheheh- ow~...
Opening my eyes, I see my hand's crackling with danmaku energy…
"Oo~h?" Marisa gapes at my hand! "Do you really not feel any of that!?"
"I d-do, actually…" I manage, letting out gasps from the continued sensation. "Ah- it fucking hurts..."
"Oh." Marisa seems less impressed. "...Well, yer livin' through it, so whatever. Now, direct as much of that energy as possible into the cylinder, and imagine pouring lots of mana into it!"
I do as she says, transferring energy from my slowly brightening hand into the cylinder-
Fwam! A kinda tiny laser shoots from my hand!
Bam- thud- thunk, thud. The beam displaced the table it hit, causing the table fort to collapse in on itself.
"Woo~!" Marisa loudly claps her hands once! "Take that, Patchy! I can teach shit!"
…Oh, yeah, when I transferred energy from my hand to my bullet? Yeah, I kinda transferred a hell of a lot more than I bargained for. Now I'm like… tired…
Dropping to my knees, I crawl forward a bit- only to stop when I realize my left hand still aches a lot. "Ngh…"
"Aw, crap." Marisa's excitement fades. "Don't worry, s'just low mana. You'll be fine again after a quick nap or something, or a few hours of takin' it easy."
Fr-freakin'... mana deprivation… was not what I signed up for!
…
"Oh, yeah!" Marisa crouches down next to me, and slips a bottle out of her hat. "Could just feed ya a mana potion, if you wanna crap blue stuff later."
Yeah whatever gimme gimme…!
Greedily snatching the bottle from her, I rip the cork off and start chugging the mana potion.
Gulp… gulp- oh Christ it tastes like ass- gulp… gulp.
"Kauf- kauf…!" I cough somewhat, 'cause the mana potion like, gives my throat this sickly, acidic feeling. "Wh- what the he-hell…"
Marisa stands up, and yawns. "Ha~o…"
Good response. Freakin'...
Taking out Deep Blue, I twist the valve enough to make it drip so I could wash this medicine-esque crap down…
"So, yeah, have fun experimentin'. Mana potion's on me 'cause I walked ya inta that one. I sell mine for a thousand yen a pop, though, da ze!"
Yeah- no. I already got a bunch from your dad!
...Tightening the valve on Deep Blue and stashin' it, I stand up. "We~ll, that's a spell I'll never be using again!"
Marisa rolled her eyes. "What, you don't carry potions on you?"
"I do." I counter. "I gotta freakin' buy 'em, though. I can't just make mine."
She props her hands on her hips. "Dude- I know for a fact that if you did the right jobs consistently, you'd make more money than you could lose. Even if you chugged like twenty potions an assignment." Moving towards her room, Marisa opens her door...
Son.
Actually, I just had an idea…
Holding out my hand, I point it at one of the table fort fragments.
Before going into her room, she notices my motions. "...If ya waste all yer mana again, I'm just lettin' ya pass out this time. I'm gettin' kinda tired myself, just not from low mana…"
Generating a yellow cylinder bullet, I let it drift forward slo~wly. Like, drift forward just fast enough to let you know it was still moving.
Then, I tried to make a bullet come out of the already present bullet.
To my surprise, the yellow bullet seems to become twice as opaque, before I realized I generated a slightly faster variant of the cylinder inside itself. It is also leaving its parent object, 'cause of its speed!
Marisa smirks at this. "Hehe~y. Now we're cookin' with bullets!"
Focusing on the faster bullet, I try to make it do the thing my hand did. Can I channel big laser magic into bullets?
Instead of glowing, when I do this the bullet thins out and expands!
Fwoom. It briefly pierces me, since it expands both forward and backward before it dissipates. I hardly felt it, though…
"Pffft…" With a grin, Marisa recedes into her room. "Well, g'night."
Click. Her door shuts.
...I am kinda generally tired too, but I've been able to ignore it 'cause freakin' danmaku.
…
You know what would be a convenient way to go to sleep fast?
Holding out my hand, I aim at the table fort. I shall count danmaku to go to sleep!
One yellow cylinder… two yellow cylinder… twenty yellow cylinder! A fuckton 'a yellow cylinders!
Then, suddenly, I can't make anymore. My mana's not out, but the cylinder's just stop.
I mighta hit Reimu's danmaku mana cap again. Freakin'...
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
…
…
Oo~h… oo~h…
Well, after enough futzing about last night, yes, I managed to waste all my mana and knock myself out. I just kinda made another laser and created more of those weird aerial snake trails of cylinders a bunch…
Waking up never felt better, though! Ho ho!
I try to sit up, but can't. Well, that's a start as any…
Opening my eyes, I survey the situation.
Hello, Ha-chan! How did you invade Marisa's house?
...Idly, I look to check and make sure the door's still closed, and yeah, it is. What.
...Oh, she coulda used the chimney, couldn't she? She's not covered in soot, though.
In any case, the windows glow dimly with pale light. Today seems to be an overcast sorta day, which is fine by me. Maybe it'll snow! I dunno how cold it actually is, though… my resistances let me just stop feeling that entirely.
Suddenly, Marisa's door swings open widely!
She walks out holding her broom like a sword, a fluffle stuck to the bristles, hugging them. "Alright, fluffy…"
...She pokes the ceiling with her broom. "honh honh" The fluffle makes a soft thud as its tubby back presses against the ceiling.
…
Thu-thud, thud, thud. Marisa pokes the ceiling with her fluffle-tipped broom repeatedly, using both arms to make soft thuds by jerking the broom up and down.
"Al~right…" Time to start getting up!
Resisting Ha-chan's embrace, I start to sit up…
Ha-chan's got a like, winter coat, mittens, and a little hat on. Ho ho!
"Maa~u…" Ha-chan yawns because I brutalize the embrace. Hello, friend…
Slipping outta her grasp, I get up, ready to rumble! "Hello, world!"
Marisa's gaze darts over to me, as she continues to try and remove the fluffle from her broom. "When'd you get up?"
"Good question." I nod warmly…
Ha-chan starts to rise after me! "Mmn~h…" She does a little stretch…!
Time to do my morning stoutness exercises, yo. Just disregard the fact I'm six feet tall…!
Aiming my hand forward, I focus…
I shoot a yellow cylinder forward with a jerk of my arm! It doesn't end there, though, yo. I continue to spawn cylinders out of the one I fired, and allow the like, third cylinder in the line to dissipate, transfering its mana to the next new one.
Like this, I create a rapidly accelerating mini-trail of bullets!
Trying to turn it, I awkwardly create bullets that go an entire ninety degrees, causing the trail to zip around and collide with me.
Thwhap.
...Wow. I hardly felt that. It stung, yeah, but that was like… hitting-the-door-with-your-arm-a-little-too-hard-tier damage.
Marisa chuckled abruptly, looking away from her fluffle dilemma. "Nice job!"
…I jerk my hand towards her, sending the snake trail of cylinders after her!
Thwhap. She just lets them hit her, and grins at me. "That's like, fairy-tier damage, ze. I can eat that shit for breakfast."
Hoh.
"Like, compare that, to this." She slides a hand into her pocket, taking out her mini-hakkero in a single smooth motion. Aiming at me, she quickly creates the same three cylinder snake trail thing I had invented, making the bullets zip towards me.
They collide with me-
Thwhap.
"Ah!" I bring my arms around the spot the bullets hit, my torso crackling with danmaku energy. "Ho-holy shit…" Warn me next time, dammit!
"That's whatcha gotta expect if ya fight me or some god, when it comes ta danmaku." Marisa nods in satisfaction. "Can't just eat half the bullets and keep grinning! 'Course, it depends on how hard yer goin', too. Right now you can only make what're basically crappy easy bullets, 'cause you suck at controlling your mana, and that's not somethin' ya just teach."
I see…
"You can also make even weaker bullets when ya get really good." Marisa aims her mini-hakkero at me again.
She shoots a spreadshot of my three snake-like cylinder streams, and they all zoom into me.
Thwhap- thwhap- thwhap.
...Didn't feel a thing that time! Just… still experiencing the lasting pain from that first shot!
"Also…" Putting away her mini-hakkero, Marisa looks up at the broom she's still holding up. "Get the hell off!"
Suddenly bringing it back like a baseball bat, Marisa swings her broom violently through the air-
"Waaa~l!" The fluffle flies off!
Thud. It slams into the far wall, and drops to the floor. "help no stop"
Leaping up, Marisa positions her broom beneath herself so she lands on it, before casually drifting a circle around the room's edges… "I'm gonna head out and do things now, ze."
...I watch her do her slow circle around the living-kitchen-dining room. "What kinda stuff?"
"Checkin' up with Reimu, and if nothin' interesting's happenin' there I think I'll just head on over to the mansion." She looks off into the air for a moment, before looking back at me. "Of course, I could always find something else fun along the way!"
...Marisa never did investimagate that one monolith fragment. She'll probably do that later.
Ho ho. "Sounds like a plan, yo. I'm gonna stumble around aimlessly like usual!"
"Hehe~..." Marisa drifts towards the door. "Cool! Now get outta my house, ze."
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
It's a chilly sorta overcast day, yo. Or so Ha-chan's tellin' me…!
Outside Marisa's house, I watch her soar off into the sky, now with a fluffy scarf.
I find it interesting how the lighting around Marisa's cottage is almost normal, while the rest of the magic forest is like a glow stick party on steroids at the best of times. Actually, our last travel through it was rather tame, except for the evil alraunes and spider girls and stuff.
"It's so co~ld…" Ha-chan hugs herself. "Why~...?"
"It's the old flufflenews corporation's fault, yo…" I shake my fist at nothing in particular! "Darn you, flufflenews!"
Proceeding down the predictable, well-trodden path away from Marisa's house and towards the shrine road, I look around idly…
Ha-chan turns to me. "We should have a picnic."
...Yep. As I walk away from Marisa's house, leaves start to glow and the sky awkwardly dims. What is this?
Also, picnic. "We need food, yo." That might be fun, actually, but yeah. Can't have a picnic without food! Also- didn't you just complain about being cold? Why do you want a picnic!? Let's invite Cirno and the yuki-onna while we're at it, yo…!
"That's true…" She brings a mitten to her chin. "What if we… find it?"
Good. Find food like the squirrels do, son. "What, we gonna find acorns?"
Ha-chan lights up! "Acorns are good!"
...Well, I think my point has been proven.
And then a water spider girl popped out from the canopy! "Hello~! I hope you don't mind me dropping in…!"
Alright, that's just irredeemable, yo. Freakin'- if Gensokyo had normal crickets and not cicadas, they'd be intensifying!
"It'sa spider!" Ha-chan points at her!
"Yeah, yeah." Landing ahead of me casually, she motions for Ha-chan to shoo. "Now go away so I can eat him. Or stay, whatever, just don't screw with me."
How does she know!? I've got a helmet and rainbow pimp gear on! No human dresses like I do!
"No!" Ha-chan is instantly opposed. "I will screw with you!"
Water spider girl jerks her head back, surprised! Set herself up for that one, she did!
Zap-Zap! Two tiny thunderbolts strike the water spider chick!
"Ow~!" Somehow, this really rattles her. "Fuck- fuck…"
I take out Youkai Inconveniencer. Tried and true anti-getting-yourself-eaten-alive utility!
"Drown!" The spider girl shot her arm forward!
Fwuu~sh! A gush of water came from her hand, plowing into Ha-chan.
"Eep!" Ha-chan was sent sprawling along the floor next to me, thrown off her feet by the water's force.
I start spinning Youkai Inconveniencer around like a flail, since it pretty much is! "Wohohoa~h, dude! Look out below!"
"What the hell…?" Water spider girl begins to back up from me! "Stop that."
Fwuu~sh! A similar blast of water bowls into me, and I'm kinda sorta launched. It hits my face, but I got my helmet on with the visor down, so that's just kinda whatever.
Stumbling back, I stay on my legs! "Woa~h!" ...I also yell after a short delay!
Zap! Zap! Ha-chan creates more tiny bolts from the floor, which strike the water spidey.
"Ow- ow- ow…!" The spider flinches from each bolt. "Where does an electric fairy come from!?"
If she's just gonna keep splashing me with water to keep me back, I'll have to start casting shine and stuff on her…
However, instead 'a staying back, she skitters towards me! Hoh!
When she gets close to me, she leans back onto her hind legs, and starts using her like, other limbs to try and stab me.
I avoid it at first by backpedaling, but she springs back and just leaps towards me, forcing me to drop outta the way and swing at her at the same time-
Thunk! The hanger hits somewhere along her lower body, but she doesn't exactly react to it.
Thoom! She lands in the brush behind me, somewhere.
"Leave him alone!" Ha-chan is back on her legs! "We're gonna have a picnic, and you're not invited!"
"No~..." The spider girl turns to her. "I'll be having a picnic."
This gives me time to get up and pivot around to see the spider in its full spiderness!
She skitters towards Ha-chan-
Zap! Zap! More electricity zaps her!
"Gah- dammit…!" For a moment, the spider girl stops, gritting her teeth before continuing again. "I'm gonna eat you if you keep at it, fairy!"
"I bet you don't even know how to eat!" Ha-chan rebukes!
"You…!" The spider girl is peeved!
I slowly step up behind the spider girl, ready to clonk her with Youkai Inconveniencer…
To my surprise, the spider girl takes a back glance at me, and lashes her arm behind herself-
Fwoosh! A brief, momentous but sharp arc of water is formed. The blade-like part only impacts my arm from how fast its form breaks as it approaches me, and I don't feel it at first.
Once it breaks down into water, I get all wet. Good.
...I survey the part of my arm that feels like it got hit slightly harder by the water arc.
Oh, good, I'm bleeding. It looks like a deep ass cut, too. A~nd now the soreness is kicking in, and I imagine this is going to suck in about two minutes. Maybe I should just lay back and drink a healing potion…
As I fumble through my bag and backpedal, something bright and blue descends from the airspace above us. Freakin'- I just wanted to get outta the forest! I better not attract a whole asskicking party for taking a stroll!
The bright thing that floats down immediately reminds me of lunarian tech. It appears to be a girl, but she's got no limbs, for one thing. Her legs appear to be anti-gravity pods, illuminant, blue rings softly glowing at the bottom of them, projecting visible waves of energy.
Her arms- well, she ain't got no arms- but she does have empty, metal arm sockets! They're super smooth and shiny, blue light pouring out from within the circular grates that capped them.
Her hair's long and brown, and her eyes are empty and white. Like- she's got irises, but they're also white, and they glow. S'weird!
...The water spider turns away from Ha-chan to look at the floating girl thing. "What…?"
Ha-chan looks up at it, as well.
...After a short delay, the floating stoic robot girl approaches the spider girl.
"What're you…?" The spider girl skitters back, her legs colliding with each other awkwardly. "...You smell weird."
"Seikatsu_Kikai_oh_oh_oh_one." She speaks with like, a pre-recorded voice bank. "Alpha_release. Please_realize_this_is_a_test_build_and_all_details_are_subject_to_change_for_the_final-" Cli-cli~ck. She stopped awkwardly, like her voice bank had to switch discs or tapes or something. "-build."
Despite being pre-recorded, she sounds fun, though. Sterile, but fun.
"What?" The spider girl furrows her brows! "Look, can you go? I'm busy."
...Two translucent, foggy beams flow from Seikatsu's arm sockets, flowing into the water spider girl.
"He-hey!" She brings her arms up, and gets frazzled… before relaxing. "That… that's fine, actually. What's this…?"
...Are- are those medi-beams? Is she healing my opponent!? I'm starting to see what Marisa meant by healers being annoying!
"Wo-wow…" The spider girl's eyes widen a little! "Thanks, sis! You know what, I'll even share with you."
Ha-chan recognizes the situation, and pouts! Holding an arm up, she unleashes more tiny lightning!
Zap! Zap!
The tiny bolts strike Seikatsu, running up her form, but not seemingly doing anything.
"Minor_damage_sustained." Seiketsu spoke! "Threat level assessed: regeneration_for_nine_turns_authorized."
Fwoom! All her lights started glowing and stuff! Yeah, just what the forest of glowsticks needed, more glowy lights. The bloom is real, yo.
Fwoa~sh. Her body glowed for a moment, being healed. Ha-chan's bolt probably didn't damage her much to begin with, so~... hmm. I bet this thing just spams regen magic. Can I… even hurt it, then?
Then, she broke her beams away from the spider girl, and floated up to me really fast. Like, super smooth; in two seconds she'd cleared the distance I had established from the spider. Freakin'...!
Before I could so much as sneeze on her, she focused the healing beams on me.
...Oh. Oh, wo~w…
"Ha~h…" I just wanna take a seat and feel happy. From a glance, I can tell my arm is better now, too… and I've also stopped aching in places I didn't know I was aching. Like, wow, my back and neck feel so damn good!
"Chemical_compound_H_R_mana_common_five_detected." Seiketsu drones with her voicebank. "Administering decay, conversion, purification agent."
What?
...Seiketsu drifts even closer to me, and her seemingly fleshy stomach extends outward, the flesh itself revealed to be a single plate or something. As it slides up, the head folds back and the machinery under the stomach plate is revealed- what the fuck am I watching?
Fwi~sh. A mask-like device is ejected from somewhere on the inside of the stomach flesh plate. It drifts towards my face slowly, and I back away from it…
Before I could do anything smart about it, it magnetizes and almost snaps onto my face once it's within the proper vicinity. Yo- what the frik is this…!?
Grabbing the mask, I try to pry it off to little avail. It doesn't attach properly because of my helmet, actually…!
...Sensing this, the mask simply snaps from my helmet and swiftly retracts back into the slot on the inside of Seikatsu's belly that it came from. "Conventional_facial_apparatus_error:_facial_structure_not_found." ...Aw. I don't got a face, yo. "Secondary_bodily_cleansing_method_authorized."
Vrrr~. Machinery whines as Seiketsu's form shifts more-
Fwoa~sh. Her regeneration healed her for nothing, since nothing's hit her yet.
The water spider's just kinda been watching us the entire time. She may've been peeved earlier about the healing, but now she's just… curious.
Ha-chan's next to her, watching with wide eyes and mouth ajar. "Woa~h…"
Vrrr~. Smooth machinery moves aside as a white shaft is constructed, going straight through Seikatsu's core. "Insert_limb_to_begin_detoxificaiton_process."
...I'm kinda curious to see where this'll go.
Lifting an arm up, I comply and stick it through the hole in Seiketsu's stomach-esque space…
I feel the shaft tighten, locking my arm in place. Then, I feel… curious sensations, like things entered my arm but didn't necessarily hurt.
"Conversion_compound_N_M_C_injecting." Seikatsu states. Ho ho.
A low, airy hum comes from Seikatsu… but I don't feel too different.
"Substituting_lost_amino_acids." Wait, lost whats? Aren't those important?
Seikatsu hums a little differently, but I still don't feel too different…
Again, she speaks of another mysteriously named procedure. "Removing_medicinal_framework_V_four."
...I look around idly. Ho ho.
"Removing_numbing_agent." ...Hold on, what numbing agent-
Wo-woah! Holy shit, it feels like my body just caught up with me or something! My stomach feels weirdly better for some reason…
"Release_authorized." Seikatsu lets me go.
Fwi~sh. The shaft around my arm loosens greatly, allowing my to release my arm…
...Surveying it, I find vague red circles on my flesh, but nothing more. We~ird…
Seikatsu slowly begins to shift more and more, her stomach plate returning to a normal position, and her collar, neck, and head tilt back into a normal, believable position.
…
The water spider sighs. "Any reason you healed him, you dumbass?"
Cli-click. Seikatsu made some clicking noise- "May God have mercy on man and machine, for their sins." ...The line that came out of her sounded like a pre-recorded soundbite. I never heard the voice that came out of her before, so this is freakin'... weird.
"Yeah, that's real nice." The water spider looks away, frustrated. "Fine. If you like humans so much, why don't you just have sex with them?" ...What train of logic is that?
Seikatsu does not react. I'm pretty sure she's a robot. I mean, I call her a her, but only 'cause she looks like a her.
...After the non-response, the water spider skitters off. "Okay, fine. I'm sure the other girls would love to hear about how much of a freak you are..."
With that, she was gone.
...Breaking its healing beams from me, the healing robot begins to drift off!
Taking Youkai Inconveniencer, I hit myself in the arm really hard by spinning it once. "Sh-..." Almost swore in response!
...The robot promptly stopped, drifting back down to me and focusing her healing beams on me. Oo~h. If I hurt myself, I can abuse her freakin'... programming.
This could be good.
"Brad-kun…" Ha-chan steps up next to me! 'Who is she?"
The healing beams break from me, and immerse Ha-chan…
"Wha-hawa- ooh…" Ha-chan freaks out at first, but quickly mellows out. "...I-I feel good…" Looking at me, she smiles. "Hug."
Wat.
Stepping towards me slowly, she wraps me in a warm hug.
...Well, this works.
Considering the robot looks like it's made outta Eientei shit, it'd be interesting to see if Eirin had anything to say about it. I also wanna get the most bang outta my buck for those dual medi-beam arms she- or it- has. It's not every day you just meet a flying dispenser.
For now, though, I'm just gonna enjoy this healing-powered hug. I feel like someone could get addicted to medi-beam energy… like with painkillers, except freakin' constant stimulation.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 59
PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Holder of Too Many Titles.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Tundra Bloomer - A earth-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice!
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…
Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.
Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.
Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!
Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!
Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.
Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy...
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!
Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!
Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred percent ice resistance, and as such renders me immune to all magical ice damage. Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt me with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides me a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...
Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
Fifty two thousand, two hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!
Seven Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Five Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
WebDings Book about Foreign Juices - Wahaha! This better fetch a price on the market!
Dark Stone - I dunno what it is, but it looks cool. Probably something I can slap to one of my dark weapons!
Enchanted Icicle - I gotta make this melting resistant, soon! It's enchanted to glow in the dark…!
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
PARTY:
London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!
PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.
ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:
ho ho HO
i've got stuff planned OUT yo
don't worry seikatsu won't be a crutch for too long but she will fuel a few fun times
long ass marisa scenes but fun marisa scenes; i always run into a weird stagnation when writing them but marisa's fun
oh yeah, introduction to danmaku part two! i can now make shitty fairy-tier streams
MAYBE SOMEDAY THAT'LL CHANGE
who knows yo
i don't got a lot else to say about this chapter though…
ooh, there was the introduction of the alraune youkai! they're fun, although the variant we saw was the weaker mook variety
also yeah kinda-sorta cliffhanger here but that's kinda been what has always happened, i wanted to fit more into this chapter but i'm already like four thousand words and ten pages over as is so yeah
one day i'll learn to stop tense shifting like a hooligan
oh yeah PAYDAY (the game) fixed its shit since the last time i complained and is now fun to play again and stuff; they're coming out with an ULTIMATE EDITION which basically just bundles all the DLC together into one cheap purchase, and the game's gonna go from twenty bucks to like forty bucks
...that's a big improvement because the DLC all at full price previously was like TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS, and all kinda necessary and power-creepy to not die as fast ingame. they also pledged not to make any new DLC except for one and just make updates therein, so hopefully they STICK TO THEIR WORD and don't do anything smarmy
this chapter likely has more typos than the others as it didn't receive a solid second-proofread from me but y'know this update's overdue as is
and now we shall depart my SIXTY NINE CHAPTER and SIXTY NINE REVIEW benchmark; everybody who's put up with my writing up to and past this point is PRETTY SEXY yo
(until we reach the sixty ninth chapter mark by this fic's weird numbering standards and not just the FF dot net number standards)
as always, see you all next time!
p.s. please the criticism boss i need it speak your mind shove missiles up my a- or don't do that- but yeah please take a waffle iron to my head and beat me up and we can laugh about it. preferably together but at me is fine too - w -
