(in which we're rocketmen)
This is ground control to ma~jor Tom…!
Yeah, I waited a whole arc just to make that joke. It's funny. Laugh. Ahah.
Donning my space suit, with Ha-chan by my side, I walk out of Eientei's weird cryo lab place like I'm walking on the moo~n!
"Wo~w…" Ha-chan watches my suited antics. "That looks hard to move in…"
Dropping the act, I begin walking normally. "No, not rea-"
Fwoa~m!
...A purple shockwave expands out from my suit, and I begin floating. Some of the end tables in the hall out here start floating, too.
Ha-chan floats into the air with me! "Woa~h! We're floating, Brad-kun! We're really floating!"
You can fly! This is not a new experience, I don't think…! Well, actually, technic-
Oof! A moment later, I land on my ass.
"Owie…" Ha-chan flops onto her stomach next to me.
Cla-cla-clack. The end tables clatter against the floor as they land again. Aw, yeah, this suit's gonna be a fun time. I dunno if I should wear it all the time, though. This thing's clunky as shit! At least the resistances make up for it, kinda~...
We get back up, Ha-chan springing up to my side again. "We should show this to people! They're gonna think we're wizards or something!"
Ah, yes, spacemen are known to be versed in the arcane arts. Ho ho!
We continue down the hallway. I think I'm just gonna ditch this joint and maybe head down to the village again and do stuff. Maybe I'll go to the mansion and baffle everyone with this space suit I got out of fucking nowhere.
Fwoa~m!
Oh my god, is this thing going to cast Zero Gravity literally every like five paragraphs? Holy shit.
I'm sent twirling through the air into an involuntary forward flip by my momentum. Aa~h…!
"Hehehe~!" Ha-chan air swims next to me. "This is fun!"
And-
Thu-thud. I land on my back- oof! Ha-chan lands on me…!
...Turning- while remaining seated on my stomach- she looks down at me. "It's gonna be hard to cuddle in that, though." You don't say…
…
"Help." I phone a friend.
Ha-chan tilts her head. "How?"
Get off, ya freakin'-
Fwoa~m!
Jesus fuck…!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...Okay.
The suit has been contained in my bag, for the time being! My game plan is to throw that shit on before I confront people. I'd wear it more, but yo, I am making no progress with that thing on! Progress as in 'getting from point A to point B'!
Exiting the empty lady's room, I pat myself to make sure my camou-kimono's all set and stuff. Tying the sash is always freakin' weird…
"There we go!" Ha-chan pats the knot, 'cause she helped me with it!
...It looks a little like a cross between a pretzel and a bow, but at least I didn't just stuff the sash into my underwear or something.
Also, yeah, I was just in the lady bunny's bathroom because why not. I'm surprised there's even a men's room, though. No one was even in either bathroom…
Keeping my helmet onhand, me and Ha-chan walk out into the main lobby of the clinic.
Reisen's here, looking down at a clipboard. "Hrrm…"
Before I can do anything, Ha-chan hurries over to her, navigating around the desk to do so. "Hello~! You're a bunny!"
...Reisen looks up at her abruptly. "A-ah? Oh… sure."
I wave at her! "Hello, friend!"
"Hi." She waves back at me. "...Do you need me to lead you back out of the forest, now?"
Good guess! "Yeah, yo." ...I was actually planning on flying out, but this is fine too.
"Alright, let me just…" Reaching under her desk, she pulls out that big ass sniper rifle from before, slinging it over her shoulder like some freakin' super woman. "Alright, let's go. I'm taking this in case we get jumped by fluffles."
Jumped by little dust people with shell noses, yo. The tiniest of fates.
Moving past Ha-chan- and taking care not to accidentally bonk her with the sniper rifle's barrel- she begins to head for the door…
Ha-chan climbs up onto the desk clumsily, before standing up on it and leaping off on my side. Freakin' adventurous! "Let's go, Brad-kun!" She starts slipping what looks like her mittens and her scarf out of her pockets...
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
I follow Reisen out of the sliding door and into the probably cold air. Both the space suit and this camou-kimono with sun helmet combo are cold resistant, so either way ya dice it I'm not getting frostbite like, ever.
...In the midst of the woods, I turn to Reisen. "So, when ya had me snipe the shit outta those 'fluffles', didja actually make assassinamate people?"
...Reisen turns to me after a moment. "Well… yeah. I didn't know how you'd take the request, so… sorry. I mean- if you want to think about it a different way, you can blame the deaths on me. It was my fault, after all."
Eeh. I wave it off. "Sure. I mean, bunny battles are bunny battles, and those plasma weapons they had…" Ehehe. I don't think those security rabbits were carrying energy shields and rifles for show and tell!
"You're fine with it, then?" Reisen looks for reconfirmation. What's it ta her, anyway…?
"Yeah, yo." I nod at her. "If it wasn't me, you woulda just got someone else to snipe some brains outta their skulls."
"...Yeah." She agrees with that, looking ahead again. Jeez- how in the nine fucks does she just like dance over the brush like that? Every now and again she'd do short leaps that somehow get her through clumps of roots or short bamboo. When I encounter the same situations, I can do nothing but brutally stomp over them and hope they don't cause me to tip over!
"I was kinda hoping you brought the potions you did." Reisen admits. "If you weren't there, though, I probably just would've gotten an intern to come with healing items."
See, yo? All's well end's well, yo. And I got a crazy suit outta it!
"I had some as backup anyway, even if I couldn't get near the fight myself…" Reisen reaches into her pocket, and takes out a small boxy thing of some kind. It's blue and white. "Portable energy-powered restoration device."
Ooo. "Like a potion in your pocket?" I guess!
She snorts. "Kinda. It only works once every couple hours, though, and the regeneration's pretty slow."
Ha-chan's hovers down from the canopy above us. "How do you eat it?"
Reisen almost tenses up for a moment, before giving the fairy a dry look. "...You-... well, very carefully." Pfft.
In the span of our conversation, Reisen somehow leads me out of the forest. Temperamental labyrinth bullshit, yo…
"I have to go do work." Reisen stops at the edge of the bamboo woods. "It was nice talking with you."
"Don't get spawn camped, yo!" I give her a parting wave!
She snorts. "I'll try…"
With that, Reisen leaves me to my devices. Said devices are navigating the fluffy field ahead…
The sky's lookin' kinda grey today. Hoh…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Passing by the fluffle stand- and ignoring it because it's fluffy- Ha-chan and I make our way towards the human village again. I don't think I'll stop there, I'll just pass through. Unless the guards give me shit, then I'll just skip it. Or, actually… I've got an idea. I'll do that if it comes down to it, though.
"It's dark…" Ha-chan notices how gloomy the weather's getting. "No~."
Aw. "The sky's just sleeping, yo…"
"I thought it slept at night." Ha-chan protests, frowning up at the sky. "Stupid sky…"
Yeah. We should go hit it until it breaks.
Suddenly, my form flares up with light! Wat.
…
A moment later, the light fades and stuff.
Ha-chan stares at me idly. "...The sky's mean, but you don't have to get that mad."
Pfft. Actually… "I think I leveled up, yo." I need to ask Yukari what the hell that means, because I've not gotten any skills past that one double jump ability!
Suddenly, a wolfman runs by us, sprinting really freakin' fast and panting. "Ah- shit, ah shit…!"
Hoh. I wonder what he's-
Fwoom! Reimu rockets by, a ring of yin-yang orbs revolving around her.
Whe~lp, I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see anything.
...Ha-chan struts along casually with me. "Today is a nice day."
Krakoo~m. Lightning flashes in the distance, although it's not raining yet. Oh, boy…!
Glaring into the sky, Ha-chan reasserts the premise. "Today is a nice day!"
After some moments of walking and stuff, we approach the village gates! A guard's there, although his armor is different than the last time I saw it. This guy's got like, bronze and iron on or something.
Instead of a girly sword, he's got this brass pike.
"Hello." I casually approach him, a hand around my waist in case he's another homicidal maniac.
...He stops looking at the floor, and looks at me. I can't see much other than his face, 'cause he has this bronze helmet on.
…
"Yo." I wave my hand at him. "Ya got a customer here."
The guard leans back against the gate. "Piss off, youkai. We don't like your kind."
Well, that's direct!
...I place my hands on Ha-chan's shoulders. "What about her?" She steps forward a little…! "Ha-chan's soft, and warm to the touch."
...The guard sighs. "Any fairy of Scarlet is a fairy not welcomed here. Not that we care much for the wild fae anyway…"
I slouch. "What, was it the party that kid sent to the mansion?"
He shakes his head. "No. The new commander gave us explicit orders to not accept any youkai patronage, be they wild or from a faction."
Wat. "...What about that puppeteer from the woods?"
"We recently were given an order to no longer allow her in." The guard nods resolutely.
Wa~t. "...Youmu, the swordsman?" I forget her last name…
He blinks. "Who?"
"Floaty ghosty tail." I gesture to my side. Actually…
Casting my hand into the air, I throw it beside myself-
Fwoof. A crusty pillow lands in the grass beside the path.
Grabbing it, I shake it about! "Like this! Next ta her, it floats! She's got hair and swords!"
The guard gives me a half grin. "...Sorry, but no, she's no longer allowed in, either."
You're shittin' me. "Keine?"
"Exiled." The guard's smile fades, becoming a neutral expression again.
Now you're really shittin' me. I was here just like, a day ago. "...Yuuka?"
…
The guard sighs. "Well- it's not like we can't let her in." Hah!
"The religious loons?" I point in the vague direction of the temple.
"Taoists and Buddhists are allowed, for now." The guard nods. "Our new high commander is looking for steps to both solve the Kazami menace, and mitigate the influence religious presences have on the village."
Hmm. "Does that include Reimu?" I guess. She's basically the one-woman Shinto faction, here. Well, there's Sanae too, and technically the Tengu.
He nods. "She's allowed for now, too. The high commander believes that youkai can be slain without reliance on holy powers. He wants to re-introduce magic to the guard, but only in limited capacity. The schools will teach basic… 'prefab' spells, I think? Sorry, I didn't hear much about it." Looking away, he comes off a slight more awkward than he did before.
Snapping back into posture, he gives me a frown! "I can't be seen talking with you. Go away."
Well, whoever the new guard commander is is going to get his ass kicked someday. Denying the big girls access to the grocery store is probably going to end no way except badly.
Guess I'm going around the village, then! I was planning to bomb-hop inside, but if the guards are as anal as this dude, I'm probably going to have to fight a small army. Let's not do that.
…
Reeling my arm back, I toss the crusty pillow in the guard's face.
"Agh- you fucker!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
That guy did not have running capability. I guess it was either the armor, or that huge ass pike. It didn't look light, that's for sure.
After a brief jog, and some getting winded, I am now at the front gate! The guard that was after me seems to have given up…
There's a nearly identical guy at this gate. Hmm~...
Oh, hey, it's Alice!
"I have a clothing line here." Alice asserts herself!
"I'm sorry, Margatroid." The guard shakes his head. "No can do."
Adopting a tired expression, Alice brings a hand to the side of her head. "Let me talk to Keine, then."
"I'm sorry," The guard apologized again, "we've exiled her."
...Shaking her head, Alice turns and begins floating away. "...Okay."
The guard reinforces his posture, standing tall before the gate.
Geez. They're serious about the whole 'locking down the entire village' thing.
"It looks like it's gonna rain, soon…" Ha-chan stares at the sky warily. "Auu~..."
I start dancing before I walk into the guard's vision!
...Eventually, he notices me do a jazzy strut across the path! "Can I help you… youkai?" He seems to want to name my specific type, but I'm too varied for a direct label!
Do ya like jazz? Actually no- scratch that. "I have a terminal illness and will die in a week. What can you do for me?" I'm still doing a jazzy half-walking-half-dancing thing!
...He's too weirded out to reply, apparently. He's still watching me!
Ha-chan catches on with what I'm doing and starts strutting behind me with rhythm. Ho ho!
"Nuggets are rolling in on the coast." I try to get another response from the guard.
"Are you a celestial?" The guard takes a guess. "...This seems like something they'd do."
I have not once ever seen a celestial on the ground, barring Tenshi when she was following me around. Where is she, anyway? Probably back in the sky. How do they handle rain? Pressing questions, yo~...
"I kinda am, on my mother's side." I inform the stationary tin can. "My dad was a wolfman."
"I'm sorry for your loss." The guard presses F to pay respects… and by that I mean he nodded at me.
"I'm George," I gesture to Ha-chan as she struts behind me, "and this is Sally." Pausing, I spread my arms out! "This is my pawn shop. And you never know what's gonna come through that door!" I point at the village gate!
…
It starts raining.
"Noo~!" Ha-chan expresses her fury to the clouds!
ZaZap! Some bolts arc up into the air and fizzle out.
"Alright, get the hell out of here." The guard shrinks back into his armor, getting soaked. "I blame you for this."
Wahaha!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
I've now got my sun elemental helmet on. Between how wet everything is and the fact I'm not cold at all, I feel like I'm plowing through freakin' adverse conditions, in a good way!
Me and Ha-chan are moving up the shrine steps. I've gotta use Tundra Bloomer to stop myself from slipping to my doom, and Ha-chan's just floating beside me 'cause screw wet super stairs.
KraKoo~m! Thunder in the dista~nce!
I'm half-tempted to strut up the stairs jazzily, but if I tried I'd probably slip and fall to infinite doom. You don't wanna slip and fall to infinite doom…
It takes some moments, but we reach the top of the stairs. I am completely soaked, but this cold resistance is kickass. The water still feels weird and such, but I'm not freezing my ass off.
When we reach the top, Ha-chan hurtles towards the shrine doors, equally soaked except with none of the cold resistance. Oof.
I jog after her as she slams the shrine door open!
Inside, there's a freakin' tiny party of people. Holy shit.
Maribel and Renko are both sitting at one side of the kotatsu. Keine's sitting at the far end, and Kogasa's here too, for some reason. The final spot at the kotatsu is occupied by Suika…
That's like, five people. Reimu's out beating up wolfmen, too.
...Now that I'm in here, I take off my sun helmet. I don't think I'll be needing it!
Hohohoh, that thing squishes my ears when I take it off...
"Hi~!" Kogasa waves at me!
"He~y, Renko-chan!" Maribel elbows Renko lightly. "Brad's here!"
"Who…?" Renko was already looking at me before she got elbowed. "Him?"
...Keine's just kinda lookin' real drowsy at the moment.
"Aa~h?" Suika flops backwards softly. "Oh- yah…"
Running towards them, Ha-chan slides past Suika to get under the kotatsu. "Co-cold…!"
Jesus, yo. Three's a party, but seven's a freakin' army!
...Oh, yeah, I forgot to put on my space suit. I didn't think anyone was gonna be home, anyway, but uh… guess I was wrong on that front!
The shrine's dimly lit, a static orb of light hanging above the kotatsu rather drearily. I wonder who cast that.
Knock knock. Someone's at the back door. Holy crap, more people?
Giving the back door a glance, Renko quickly turns to Maribel. "Someone's here…"
Maribel starts to get up. "I'll open it!"
Strutting towards the kotatsu, I look around with slight shock…! "There's a freakin' ton 'a people here, today!"
"Right?" Renko agrees with me. "When me and Merry showed up, it was just that shrine maiden."
Abruptly, Kogasa chips in. "I need new sandals, or shoes! I'd like shoes..."
Keine flops back onto the floor, looking exhausted. Oof.
Maribel slides the back door open.
"Hey, Rei-..." Freezing stock still in the doorway, Nitori gazes at the fluffy person.
...
"...Want in?" After a moment, Maribel moves out of the way to allow the kappa in.
KraKoo~m! Lightning, yo!
"Why're there so many of you…!?" Nitori slowly backs up as she gazes into the room…
"Come on in, son!" I yell at her from almost the other side of the shrine! "We're gonna remove your skull!"
Maribel flails her arms at me from across the room.
...For some unholy reason, this provokes Nitori to walk in. Her backpack's bigger than her today. It's probably wet, too.
In one hand, she's got a really big wrench. Ho ho…!
...Nitori looks around sheepishly as Maribel slides the door shut behind her.
Bam, bam, bam! Someone wails on the shrine's side door. Christ on a bike, son…
Smiling smugly, Kogasa squirms in place.
...Aw.
Maribel waves the other door off. "They can open it themselves…"
Renko grins at her. "That was a rather abrupt change of heart. Aren't you already up…?"
"So…" Speaking up, Nitori slowly steps towards the kotatsu. "What- what're you all doing here? Where's Reimu?"
"We committed robbery and murder on a global level." I confess. "We're getting shot into outer space."
...Nitori's not buying it! "Just hanging around, huh?"
"Mmh." Keine gives an unenthused grunt from the floor.
"Do you know where I can find some new shoes?" Kogasa questions Nitori.
Nitori perks up from her awkward demeanor! "...Actually, I could make you some!" I have a feeling that they'll cost an arm and a leg. I've yet to buy anything from the kappa, but I don't remember them being selfless people. Either they're super selfless or super selfish.
"Really?" It seems Kogasa is excited by the prospect! "Could you make them really good at sneaking too?"
"I could give you cloaking technology." Nitori grins at her. Okay- Nitori's totally driving that price through the roof. "Sneakers with a mobility-based cloak seem like they'd suit you… maybe ones with limited teleporting capacity, too." You can make what now?
"Yeah! That's awesome!" Kogasa's pumped! "You're so cool, Nitori-chan!"
Nitori reaches into a pouch on the side of her huge backpack, and pulls out a waterlogged clipboard. There's paper on it that is somehow totally fine. "That'll be~..." She looks over the clipboard for a moment, but doesn't write on it. "One hundred and thirty thousand yen!"
…
Kogasa stares at the kotatsu ruefully. "I got some shiny rocks…"
...Nitori slouches, not expecting her to be dead broke.
Y'know… "What's the most expensive thing you can make off the top of your head?" I give Nitori a challenge.
"Probably a vehicle with as much augmented technology I could muster. This includes weaponry and automated guns and defenses, alarms, so forth… and size matters when it comes to pricing, lemme tell you." Nitori explains some of her pricing logic. "But, if you wanted a tank the size of the shrine with all the bells and whistles, we're looking at an upwards of ten to eleven billion yen."
...Does that much money even exist in Gensokyo?
Dryly, Renko critiques her pricing. "How many people carry eleven to ten billion yen in their pocket?"
...Nitori makes herself look innocent. "Oh, some people."
Yeah- uh huh.
"I wanted to show Reimu something I made…" Nitori states her reason for being here. "But, since she's not here…"
"We must see the technology." I announce.
...Everyone looks at me. Barring Suika and Keine, anyway, they're freakin' dead inside.
"It is of great benefit to nuggetkind." I justify my assertiveness.
...Maribel sheepishly adds to my insanity. "Ignore him. You don't have to show us if you don't want-"
"It's fine." Nitori struts towards the right end of the room. "This'll help me test out how it works."
Bam, bam, bam! That person outside wailed on the side door- the one Nitori's nearing- again. "Hakurei! On behalf of the Village Youkai Hunter's Guild, you will grant me audience!" ...I don't quite recognize the voice, but it's female.
"Great." Keine monotones from her spot on the floor.
...Nitori pulls her backpack off, and sets it down next to the door. After a moment of staring at it, she crouches down and pulls it back a little bit. Then, she undoes the top flap, and pulls-
Clang! It'sa hunk of metal! More specifically, it's like… a blue cube of metal.
She presses two buttons on the top-
Beep! Beep!
Then, she reels her wrench back above her head, and whacks it!
Clang! Sparks fly from where she strikes-
Vrrrr~! The box begins unfolding and stuff!
"Wo~w!" Maribel expresses awe while standing next to Renko! "It's transforming!"
Ha-chan raises her arms! "It's an origami device!"
Vrr-rr-rr-rr! After some folding, the machine's revealed to have a tub-like, rounded top. It's also got three legs, it seems…
Rrrr~. With one final whir, it seems to finalize its deployment.
It's a freakin' sentry gun. A level one sentry gun!
...Beep! It lets out a single beep as it starts rotating back and forth.
Maribel's jaw is dropped. "Is-is that a…"
Similarly baffled, Renko finishes her sentences. "That's a sentry from Team Fortress!?"
Nitori looks at them curiously. "...I'm not sure what a team fortress is, but you're right. It's my new, dynamic-deployment sentry model!"
Beep! Patting on it, Nitori smiles. "The retail model only fires danmaku, and ballistics cost extra. Currently, I've got this set to danmaku firing mode, and I've set it to 'non-hostile deployment lite'."
Yes, I know what those words mean. "What do those words mean?" I ask Nitori what those words mean.
She smirks at me. "Basically, everyone in the range of the sentry when it is deployed is temporarily registered as a non-target. Everyone it can see, it is friendly towards. The only person I've currently got permanently listed as friendly is myself."
Ooo. Danmaku area of denial, yo! Although, since it's danmaku, I bet it's dodgeable if you see it coming.
"You've been warned!" That girl outside is still yelling at us! "Hakure~i!"
Bam! She slams the door open!
...Oh, hey, it's that one samurai chick from the village. What the hell was her name again… oh, right! Meira! Samurai Meira!
Doesn't quite got the ring 'Samurai Jack' does, though. Actually- no, ki~nda…!
...She sheepishly stares into the room prior to entering it, her katana raised. "...Wh-why are there so many of you? Is this a ritual ceremony!?" She sure ain't as smart as Jack, though, lemme tell ya that much...
Also, look at that kotatsu and get back to me, yo. Unless our evil ritual is being drowsy and lazy…!
Before anyone can say anything, she continues. "Keine!? I knew it!"
Meira runs inside, her katana raised high and ready for violence! "Kamishirasawa, I-"
Tat! Tat! Tat! The sentry begins firing at her!
It shoots bright, really long blue danmaku bolts that move stupid fast.
"Ah- what…!?" Meira freezes in place, and starts looking around. "Ow-ow! Wh- ow- where!?" She begins swinging her katana around. "Haku- agh- Hakurei!?"
Tat! Tat! Tat!
"Die!" Raising her katana through the pain of being shelled by danmaku, the samurai girl runs towards Kogasa.
"Ah- whah!?" Kogasa reacts, floating into the air! As she does, she displaces the kotatsu...
The kotatsu tips over onto Renko, smooshing her. "Oof!"
Keine's starting to get up. "Me-Meira, what are you-"
Suika's rising from the commotion. "Wha~ah!?"
"Aaa~h!" I yell! Waaa~h!
Tat! Tat! Tat!
"Aaugh!" Meira collapses forward onto the kotatsu, crackling with danmaku energy.
"Wo-woah!" Renko gets smooshed again.
Cla-clack. The katana Meira held clatters to the floor.
…
Maribel's just standing over the scene with her hands over her mouth.
The sentry stopped shelling Meira once she collapsed.
Keine's now standing up, watching the scene with caution.
...Finishing a swig from her ground, Suika wipes her mouth. "Aye~'m drunk!" Good job.
Crouching down, Maribel begins freeing her friend from her kotatsu prison…
Nitori's standing by her machine with a smug expression. "That's what'cha get."
==== FREAKIN GENSKOYO ====
Meira is neatly positioned on the floor behind Suika, who is now using her as a pillow.
Everyone's seated again- except me, Ha-chan, and Nitori, since seating is a limited prospect.
Maribel and Renko are next to each other again! "Do you guys know if Reimu keeps any snacks around…?" Maribel scratches her cheek idly…
Keine shakes her head. "Unfortunately, the few snacks she has are likely her daily meals."
Renko snorts. "...That's kinda sad. How's she broke? Isn't she like, a hero or something?"
...Unsure of how to answer that, Keine looks over at the beeping sentry gun. "From what I understand, it's complicated…"
"You know what's complicated?" Kogasa becomes one with the conversation. "Getting new shoes."
"Here, have mine!" Ha-chan decides only now to give away her maid shoes for some reason. Leaning over, she begins taking them off…
"Cool!" Kogasa smiles at her!
"Nn~gh…" Meira's still conscious-ish. She's also still crackling with danmaku energy, so that might not be indicative of recovery anytime soon…
Behind me, the front shrine door slides open. Holy shit, no wonder Reimu's broke. This place is gonna become a YMCA by the end of today!
"He~y, Reimu~!" It's Marisa, the fluffy-hatted magician! "I've come to pla~y, ze!" She's also soaked to the bone, her fluffy hat drooping over her face.
She steps inside-
Be-be-beep! Sentry has spotted a target!
Tat! Tat! Tat!
Marisa begins to get bombarded! "Wh-what? No…!" Acting hastily, Marisa draws her broom under herself and flops onto it. "Re-Reimu- what the-"
Tat! Tat! Tat!
"Nngh…!" Clumsily, Marisa hangs off the side of her broom with an elbow and a knee, as she moves around in circles. "Rei-"
Tat! The final blow sends Marisa rolling to the floor. "Nnghah!"
Thud. She ends up on her side, crackling with danmaku energy, her hat resting beside her.
...I look over at Nitori, who seemed to have been fiddling with the sentry the entire time trying to make it stop. She's frozen now, though, giving Marisa a long stare.
Walking over to Marisa, I get down on my hands and knees in front of her…
She looks up at me, and glares.
"Hi, son." I greet the fluffy mage. "The engineer… is engi-here!" Wahohoho!
"Nnh…" She twitches a little in frustration!
…
After a moment, I start to get back up.
"So~rry!" Nitori apologizes for the inconvenience from a safe distance. "That was me!"
...Marisa manages to roll herself onto her back, and stares up at the ceiling.
"They don't fit." Kogasa is attempting to slip one of Ha-chan's dress shoes on, and failing. "They make my feet feel big."
"Awwh…" Ha-chan's seated on her own knees next to Kogasa. "My feet aren't big, though…" I don't think that's what she meant, Ha-chan, but okay…!
…
"Who left the shrine door open…?" Oo~h, that's Reimu.
Nitori realizes this, too. "Uhm- uh- Reimu, hey!" She starts running towards the front door…
"Nitori?" Reimu begins to enter through the front door. "What are- when did so many people get here."
"Happy birthday!" I throw my arms into the air! "We remembered!"
"Don't come in yet!" Nitori hastily tries to stop Reimu from entering the shrine. "Give us a few moments!"
Reimu steps in anyway. "What's going-"
Tat! Tat! Tat! Standing in the way, Nitori takes the bullets. "Ah- oh- ow! Re-Reimu-"
Tat! Tat! Tat! Promptly, Nitori collapses before Reimu. The miko hastily backs out the door, and shuts it on her way out.
…
"Maybe…" Keine looks over at the sentry. "We should do something about that."
I wave it off. "Na~h."
...This prompts her to give me a dry stare. "Well, you don't want Reimu to get hurt, now do-"
"Why's this door open too?" Reimu moves to step in from the side door that Meira came through earlier. "Seriously. Also, why are there-"
Tat! Tat! Tat!
"Ouch- wo-woah!?" Flailing her arms, Reimu starts accelerating backwards until she slams into the front shrine wall. "Agh!"
Tat! Tat! Tat! She gets pelted into the shrine wall repeatedly!
"Ca-Cautionary Barrier!" Throwing her arm forward, she creates a golden square of energy, with some kinda yin-yang pattern on it!
It floats forward from her a bit-
Tat! Tat! Tat! The sentry's bullets patter against the force field square Reimu made.
"Se-seriously…" Bobbing in the air woozily, Reimu steadies herself before the forcefield, her body crackling with blue danmaku energy. "Who put that there…?"
"A-aah…" Nitori raises her arm from the floor lazily.
...Reimu gives her a dry stare.
Tat! Tat! Tat! Sentry's still goin' at it!
Reimu maximizes a yin-yang orb in the air beside herself, and sends it whirling towards the sentry-
Boom! On impact, the sentry explodes into various parts. Awwh…
...The orb dissipates, and so does Reimu's barrier. Promptly, she lands, drops to her knees, and collapses on the floor. "U~gh… it-it's too early for this…"
...Keine disagrees. "It's well past noon." It's hi~gh noon, son!
Reimu just looks up from the floor and gives her a stare.
Getting up, Maribel paces over to Reimu's position… "Let me help you to the kotatsu. You're all wet…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Everyone is now no longer bound by danmaku energy. Except for Meira; when she got up, Reimu just kinda melted her face with bullets so she'd go back down again.
"You know…" Nitori presses her thumbs together, standing beside Reimu. "I, um, got a few extra models if you want me to showcase-"
"I think I'm good." Glancing at her, Reimu declines.
Speaking of Reimu, she was now in Maribel's spot. Maribel's now standing up with me and Marisa, and Ha-chan's sharing a spot with Kogasa…
"So…" Taking a sip of the tea she'd made, Reimu glances around the table. "Who's actually here for a reason?"
Nitori, Keine, and Kogasa raise their hands.
"I wanted to showcase my new product to you…" Nitori sheepishly explains her presence.
"Nice job." Reimu looks over at Keine next…
"The village is barring access from all youkai, and exiling all of those normally exempt."
...Reimu just shakes her head. "Why's the village so uppity, lately?" Finally, she looks over at Kogasa.
"I need shoes!" Kogasa needs shoes badly!
Ignoring her, Reimu looks back at Keine. "I'll go have a chat with them, then. When the rain lets up, that is."
"Thank you…" Keine gives Reimu a smile. "Be careful, though. I've only got a glance of the new commander of the guard, but he doesn't seem to be a silly person in the traditional sense, this time."
"I'll bring a potion in case he pulls a flintlock on me." Reimu waves the concern off. "Flintlocks kinda suck as weapons, but I guess I can see why humans use them…"
"Right!?" Marisa agrees! "Those muskets and flintlocks suck compared to like, lasers. They ain't like the guns some of the youkai can make…" Idly, Marisa eyes the broken sentry parts…
"Mmm…" Sipping her tea, Reimu closes her eyes.
…
"So, Nitori…" Grinning, Marisa meanders towards the kappa. "How much for one 'a dose?" She points at the broken sentry debris.
...Ntiori blinks at her, before smiling. "We~ll, normally they'd go for twenty thousand yen per, and the operation wrench is five thousand yen… and that's the danmaku model only. Ballistics is a whole different story."
...Marisa rubs her chin. "Hmm. I think I'll get back to ya on that. At least it's not something stupid expensive like ya usually charge…"
I bet the sentry with dual gatling guns and rockets would cost like, five hundred thousand yen.
Reimu speaks up. "You know how the bullets are really, really long?"
Nitori pauses. "...Yeah?"
"Make it not do that." Reimu passes judgment on the danmaku's fairness! "Fast is alright, but they have to be small enough to dodge, y'know. Although, think about making them slower, too. You could probably make more money selling difficulty-based models, and overpricing the harder ones."
…
Nitori raises her wrench to the air! "Thanks, Reimu! You got pretty good business sense for a human!"
Reimu just snorts. "Mmm."
I just noticed, but Maribel's got a raincoat on instead of her normal school attire. Renko does, too! It was probably raining outside the barrier, if that's where they came in from.
Turning towards Renko, Reimu casually gazes at her. "Do you know where that guy you were with last time went?"
...Shaking her head, Renko denies. "Not a clue."
...Reimu just nods. "Why'd you guys come back, anyway?"
"We wanted to explore and stuff." Maribel chips in…! "Compared to where we came from, this place is pretty amazing."
At that, Reimu snorts. "...If you say so."
"Oo~h…!" Marisa gets hyped up! "If ya wanna explore, explorin's my middle name, ze!"
I turn to Marisa. "Too bad, noob. They call me the exploradora."
"I think we'll just follow Brad, for now…" Maribel makes her decision. "He seems to half know where he's going."
"Hey." Marisa furrows her brows. "...I know where I'm going a quarter of the time."
...Sliding out from under the kotatsu, Renko starts to get up.
"Well…" Reimu sips from her tea again. "The more of you get out of my hair, the more happy I'll be."
Renko snorts. "That's an apt way of putting it, huh?"
"If I don't put it bluntly, I'll be having a sleepover." Reimu states plainly. "...I'd rather not have a sleepover. I get enough of people during the daytime."
Marisa struts towards Reimu… "Reimu~ze, you remind me of Patchy when ya say things like that."
Renko and Maribel gather closer to me, while Ha-chan seems to just gravitate away from Kogasa to my position…
Party of four! Ho ho!
However…
"Before we go, yo…" I hold up a hand, and start proceeding towards the kitchen. "Allow me to switch some of my equipment around!"
Maribel blinks. "...It's another stupid costume, isn't it?"
Good guess, yo! "Yeah, pretty much. Give me a few seconds, yo…!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Sliding the kitchen door open again, I step out…
...Shaking her head, Maribel slowly grins. "Where could you have possibly found that?"
Renko's eyebrows just slowly raise. "O~kay. I thought, by 'change equipment'... huh."
What, you think I was takin' a piss? That'd actually be a good cheesy joke for that, but nope!
Marisa chuckles at me. "Wo~w. You actually got the suit. Was it everything ya wanted and more?"
Fwoa~sh! Zero Gravity, son!
The deep purple shockwave spreads out, and almost everyone around me- kotatsu included- drift into the air.
...Reimu sighs, drifting up and to the side, still under the kotatsu somehow.
"Pfft-hahaha~!" Marisa lets herself float. "I bet ya'd be a riot at dinner parties with that thing…!"
...Suika, despite being in the effective radius, is not floating. Huh.
"Wawawa~!?" Maribel flails her limbs! "I feel like I'm falling…!"
"Probably because you technically are." Renko handles this situation better, seemingly articulating herself to keep an upright position, somehow.
Kogasa sighs, a happy expression on her face… before she kicks her leg and ends up upside down. "Wh-woah…!"
And then-
Thu-thu-thud-clack-thud. We all fall down, yo.
Reimu's kotatsu is upside-down, and she's lying in it. Her tea cup is precariously balanced in her hand…
Marisa falls upside down, but rotates and barely lands on her feet. "Woa~h…! I actually landed it…!"
Maribel's on her bum. "Aa~h…"
Renko lands upright, having prevented herself from spinning. "...There."
Keine and Nitori were outta the radius, so they just watched the spectacle. Kogasa's upside-down, though. Freakin'... bloomers!
Oh, yeah, I also landed on my ass again, and so did Ha-chan. "Freakin'..." Getting back up, I move for the door. "Let us start our expedition, yo…!"
Hastily getting up, Maribel begins to move after me. "What spell was that…?"
"Zero Gravity, yo." It's aptly named, innit?
Renko snorts, following after us. Ha-chan moves after us, too.
"Nngh…" Reimu's cautiously trying to articulate herself in a way that'll get herself up without spilling her tea...
We'd better skedaddle before Reimu maneuvers herself back into a position to chase us…! Well, more accurately, me.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We are at the top of the shrine steps…! I don't think Reimu feels like flying after me in the rain, so just being outside the shrine is security enough.
I don't feel the rain at all, because this space suit's snug.
Maribel and Renko seem to have brought these basic blue umbrellas today. Hoh…!
They cautiously begin walking down the stone steps, looking at their shoes the entire time. "At least it's not windy…" Maribel expresses her discontent with wind. "We don't have to like, doggy paddle up the stairs like when we got here."
...Instead of taking the stairs, I begin to walk for the wet hillside next to them. After taking a few steps down, I slip onto my bum and slide the rest of the way! "Ho ho~!"
Dryly, Renko commentates on this. "Good job."
Ha-chan just floats down after me, hugging herself. Oof…
...At the bottom, I- hmm. Getting back onto my legs might be a slight project with how slippery everything is! This space suit also contains my hands, so I pretty much can't feel anything outside of it.
...Ha-chan stands next to me, getting slightly wetter with the passing seconds. Oh no.
Managing to spring to my feet, I turn to her. "You should get under their umbrella, yo. It's umbrellatastic."
Ha-chan looks worried, for some reason. "Last time I was under an umbrella, it attacked me."
That's umbrellacism, son. "Kogasa's an umbrella, yo."
Ha-chan tilts her head. "Who?"
...They never exchanged names. Freakin'...
"Umbrellas…!" I dunno what to say! "They block the rain!"
Maribel and Renko are now down at the bottom of the steps.
"Just c'mere." Maribel gestures for Ha-chan to get under one of their umbrellas.
...Sheepishly, Ha-chan hesitates for a moment, before darting under Maribel's umbrella like some kinda cat.
"Awfully wet day, isn't it…?" Curiously, Renko looks up at the sky. She ends up looking at the rim of her umbrella instead but yeah. "It wasn't raining in both places the last time we came here."
...Huh. That is curious.
We walk along the path towards the human village just kinda naturally. We're not gonna get let in, though, so uh… although, the temple's in this direction, so that might be fun. I was originally about stopping at the mansion, but since Maribel's already been there I want her ta see somewhere new, yo.
I should've asked Kogasa to come with us. Umbrella youkai on a rainy day, yo…
The dirt path we're walking along is like, half mud. I've been taking the concrete roads on the outside for granted!
"Do you think Gensokyo has a need for rain?" Renko poses another question, still looking around…
Maribel smiles, looking ahead. "Maybe. It doesn't seem like the weather in here is the same all the time, so I wouldn't be surprised if its ecosystem was just independant. I got no idea how clouds and temperature works, though…"
Ha-chan looks back and forth between them… "What's an ecosystem?"
...Grinning, Renko stares ahead again. "An environment, basically."
...Ha-chan looks unsure about that answer!
I notice that Maribel's got her suitcase with her today, as well! I wonder if she's freed up some space…
"Ecosystems are explorable..." I make idle chatter as we continue along.
It's a little brighter out now than it was earlier. I wonder if the rain's different, or if it's just the sun shifting…
After giving it a moment of thought, Maribel agrees. "Yeah."
...On the path before us, the mud begins to jiggle.
"Uhm…" Maribel slows to a stop.
"Hmm…?" Giving her a curious glance, Renko looks ahead. "Oh. Yeah, that's not supposed to happen, is it?"
"Nah, that's normal." I wave it off. "Mud souffles, yo. Nature's pastries."
The jiggling intensifies, before most of the mud washes off of some jelly-esque substance. Gradually, the bronze gel rises…
It's a slime girl! A brown slime girl! Although, considering how glittery and shiny this one is, bronze seems more apt…
"Nuo~h…" She smiles at us! Her form's kinda sloppy, making it hard to distinguish what's just a buncha goo and what's supposed to be a humanoid body part. I think she's got boobs…?
"Is she friendly?" Maribel backs up a little, unsure.
"Only one way to find out, yo." I-
Fwoa~sh!
We're floating, again. Random cast of Zero Gravity, ho ho!
"O-oah…!?" The slime girl hovers into the air a little, before her gel pulls her body back towards the ground.
"Oh-oh, this sucks!" Maribel is hovering above the mud floor…
I move to try and catch her, but just end up twirling forward in the air a little. Waa~h!
Renko keeps herself steady, but stares at us with dismay. "Uhm…"
Fortunately, Ha-chan remembers she can float normally! Moving forward, she hides under Maribel… with seemingly no intent to catch her. Freakin'- is some of the mud floating with us, too!?
The spell runs out-
"Eep!" Ha-chan is tipped over, not expecting Maribel's descent for some reason.
Spla-spla-spla-splat! Aw. Gettin' down and dirty, son.
"For crying out loud…!" Maribel rolls off of Ha-chan and onto her back. "Oof…"
Ha-chan starts flailing wildly! "I-I'm all dirty! Ew~…!"
Only Renko's boots are covered in mud. "Nice space suit."
...Grinning, I thrust onto my legs again. "I know, right? Freakin' credit to the team, yo…"
"Hau~..." Seemingly sinking down, the gel girl opens her mouth-
Brown bubbles blow out towards us, and pop over our heads-
Pop! Pop! Pop!
...Promptly, we're all covered in more mud. Good attack.
"Ugh…" Getting up- and nearly slipping- Maribel closes her umbrella and tosses it to the side of the path. "Gimme a moment to get my weapon…!"
Reaching into my bag, I pull out Flame Salvo! Ho ho!
Renko draws some freakin' ornate scissors with her offhand from her pockets. One blade's black, the other's brass, and the handle's this really inconvenient design with these cast iron-looking, leaf-shaped protrusions.
Crouching down, and placing her suitcase on nearby solid ground, Maribel cracks it open…
"Alright, yo…" I proceed towards the mud girl. "Outta the way, noob."
...She smiles at me, and continues towards me. "Nao~h…" I~... don't know what that means.
Slowly lurching towards me, her lower slime begins to travel across the surface of the mud faster than her actual clump of goo moves.
I swing at the air menacingly. "Son, no."
Renko darts up to the right side of the goo girl- still keeping her distance- but doesn't actually proceed towards it.
"Alright…!" Maribel now has a plant hanger in one hand, and her suitcase in the other!
The slow slime girl's goo eventually reaches me, and wraps around my ankles, before slowly running up my body…
Luckily, this space suit is freakin' tight, yo. Not necessarily tight fitting, but it doesn't have holes! If it had holes, it wouldn't be a space suit…
Trudging forward, I decide to tank more of the slime girl!
"Muh…" She spreads her 'arms' out and wraps herself around me.
"He-hey!" I hear Maribel's voice behind me-
sploo~sh…
Wow. I didn't think she had that much goo on hand. I guess more of herself was underground, or something.
I am now completely submerged in bronze gel. The way it flows makes everything outside look like wobbly bronze statues… which is kinda cool!
A generic face forms against my helmet. Holy shit that's creepy!
Her mouth moves, but doesn't say anything.
…
Alright, I have had enough of being submerged and stuff.
Raising Flame Salvo, I fill it with mana…
The flames jet forward, but are stopped by the girl's goo, making the spot they entered glow brightly. As the bright glow dimmed, a chunk of solidified goo was revealed in the area right ahead of Flame Salvo.
"Nnh…!" I hear the goo girl protest!
Suddenly, my arm holding Flame Salvo begins to get jerked around. After a moment, I begin to get pulled to the side…
Splash!
Abruptly, I'm ejected from the slime, and sent onto my side right next to it.
"Ooah!" She's a lot louder out here!
Maribel looks over at me. "Brad! Are you hurt?"
I give a thumbs up from the floor. "I'm alright!"
...It doesn't seem like Renko or Maribel are actively doing anything. I don't think they've got any ranged attacks, which is a bit unfortunate-
I just remembered I got some danmaku I could shoot at her face!
From the floor, I aim Flame Salvo forward and try to channel danmaku through it.
"Should we just run!?" Renko yells from the path past the slime girl.
"I think so!" Maribel begins to strafe around the side. I've also just noticed that her plant hanger's a new one. It's freakin' jagged and boxy, and seems to be made of a bunch of reflective chrome panels…
I shoot a glowing, red danmaku cylinder at the goo girl from my hanger.
It drifts into her and fizzles out, leaving some sparks of energy behind on her goo's surface.
...It doesn't seem to do much of anything, though.
ZaZap! Ha-chan gives it a little zap!
"Oauh!" The slime convulses rapidly, jiggling unnaturally-
Ooh! Something just felt vaguely good. Like I snapped a joint I haven't snapped in awhile…!
I clumsily manage myself onto my feet by some miracle, and start slowly strafing through the muck the slime cast me into when it ejected me. I'm tryin' ta get towards the girls, who're now both past the slime girl entirely.
More cylinders come from my hanger and hit the goo girl, but they don't seem to culminate in much!
...The goo girl progresses towards Ha-chan, who avoids it by floating up into the air.
...I don't think I'll aggress the goo girl much further, since it doesn't seem that we're doing a lot to her. My bomb hanger'd probably kinda work, but she seems too slow to chase us down.
"Hey!" Maribel calls up to Ha-chan! "Can you get my umbrella!?"
...Pausing, Ha-chan ducks back down for a moment to grab the umbrella from the side of the path, before floating up-
Fwuu~sh! A geyser of mud erupts under her, spraying rocks and grass into the air.
"Wo-woah!" Spinning out of the way, the half mud-soaked fairy maid continues towards us…
"Let's get the hell outta here!" I start clumsily jogging ahead in my space suit, only for the girls to easily pass me a few seconds later. It's not retreating, son; it's advancing in the opposite direction!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Now that we're almost to the gate, and away from the goo girl, Maribel takes a deep breath. "Ha~h… she smelled."
"Right…?" Renko shook her head. "Here I thought we were prepared and everything. It's a good thing she didn't follow us."
We're freakin' soaked and dirty, yo. Nature has not been kind to us. Apparently it's not too cold, since Maribel's not freezing her ass off with all the mud and water that got on her.
Everyone's under their respective umbrellas again, and my suit is slowly getting cleansed of the grime's brunt by the rain. It's probably gonna look grungy later, though.
Eventually, we reach the gate!
Ooo~. More people…
Orin's standing outside the gate with her kitty cart. "Look- you've got dead people in there. I know you don't bury them anymore!" Her kitty cart's got a black umbrella!
"And I told you to screw off." The guard demonstrates he's not afraid of getting his limbs ripped off by a touhou. "Who knows what the hell you do with the bodies?"
Orin grins. "Well, we burn them…"
"Case in point." The guard leans back against the gate. "Next-... well, just go."
"Hmm?" Orin catches that. "Next what?"
"Nothing. Go." He points to the path as a potential direction.
...Slipping her hands behind her back, Orin stands before him idly, shifting about innocently.
"The hell're you-..." The guard sees my party walk up. "U~h…"
"We're the fluffle wranglers." I make my presence known. "We take fluffles, and we shove 'em up your ass."
The guard just blinks at me.
Maribel steps up beside me. "Eheheh… sorry about him. We- we're just wondering if you'd let us in?"
...The guard folds his arms. "No."
Maribel elbows me. "Idiot." Oof!
Orin looks over at us dryly, before locking her gaze on me. "Wh-what? An astronaut…!?"
"Ho ho ho!" I hold up an arm! "Merry Christmas!"
Fwoa~sh!
I have taken away the gift of gravity!
Orin slowly floats into the air. "Ah- hey…!?"
The guard floats, too. "Wh- what the hell!? Put me down!"
"Geez…" Maribel latches onto me since we're already next to each other. "That stupid suit…"
Renko keeps herself steady, again. "Alright, who gave you that? Where did you find that?"
...I turn to her while still drifting up. "I found it in the bargain bin, yo."
Ha-chan drifts up to us, and latches onto Maribel. This causes her to jump! "E-eeh…!?"
And then-
Spl-spl-spl-splat-splat!
Thoom! Orin's cart embeds itself partially in the mud. Orin herself lands on her bum beside it. "Ah- my dress…!"
Me, Maribel, and Ha-chan are in a pile in the mud. Wahaha!
Renko chuckles at us. "Wow. How…?"
"Putting on this rain coat was the best decision of my life…" Maribel monotones from the mud.
"Fuck me…" The guard slowly stands up, using his pike as a prop to do so. "I have a right mind to sound the alarm for that. Which one of you did that?"
...Maribel points at me.
I point at Renko.
"What…?" Renko furrows her brows, before pointing at Ha-chan. "No."
...Despite being frazzled, Ha-chan points at the guard after careful deliberation.
The guard just blinks. "...Whatever. Don't let it happen again." Leaning back, he rests on the gate's side again.
Orin's trying to wipe her dress off. "...Hnn~h. I guess it was gonna get dirty anyway, but still. Wet butts suck…"
...You know, if Orin's right here, and she's got her cart-
Woah! Ooh… Ha-chan and Maribel helped pull me up.
Walking forward, I rest my hands on Orin's cat cart, and peer inside…
There's a single skull inside right now. Aw, yo… rest in peace, noob.
Stepping up to me slowly, Orin pushes into me with her arm and easily displaces me, forcing my hands off the cart. "Hands off the cart, space man. If ya want a wheelbarrow, go buy one."
I raise my hand. "Wait, yo. How much's it cost for a ride to hell for four people?"
Maribel blinks. "A ride to where?"
Jerking her head back- not expecting this request- Orin looks at me through my helmet's 'glass'. "...Well, if you mean where I think ya mean, I guess uu~h… how's five thousand yen sound?"
Honh. "Sure, yo. Can we get ta you for a return trip, too?"
She snorts. "Yeah, probably. My next trip up here won't be in awhile. Most of my corpses come from the village anyway, these days..."
...That's somewhat worrying!
"I guess I can make a return trip here later ta drop ya off." Orin decides. She smiles and nods, her eyes betraying some of that good 'ol cat-like deviousness. "It'll be five grand for that trip too, though, kay?"
"Sure." I got fifty grand in the bank, yo.
...Maribel looks between us, before joining the conversation. "Are we going somewhere, then…?"
Reaching into my bag, I take out the five thousand yen. "Ye, ye. Ye."
Orin grins widely, before accepting the yen. "I oughta do a taxi service, or something…"
...Moving around her cart, Orin places her arms on the handles, and tugs- "Hnh!"
Plop! She pulls it out of the mud… "Alright, get in, get i~n…"
I move towards the cart. Ooh, gettin' in in this suit's gonna be an experience…!
...Orin holds it surprisingly steady as I climb over the side and flop into it. I also realize how freakin' big it is compared to wheelbarrows I've seen in the past. It's easily short enough in width to fit your arms on both ends, yeah, but it's still a bit wider and way longer than a normal wheelbarrow.
...That umbrella's fun, too.
Maribel's eyebrows are raised as she moves to get into the wheelbarrow. "I~... guess we're doing this now."
Grinning at her comment, Renko moves along as well. "You were the one who told me Gensokyo was a weird place, Merry."
"I didn't know they had wheelbarrow taxis." Maribel plops down between my legs, which I've spread to the sides of the cart. Normally this would be cause for celebration, but this space suit is freakin' clunky, yo.
...Even so, I'll take what I can get!
Renko sits between her legs. "Here we go… huh." She also realizes how big this freakin' wheelbarrow is. "Big wheelbarrow. Ah- hmm…" She notices the skull in the other corner. "Why's there a skull?"
Orin smirks. "Oh, I usually use this cart to transport dead people."
...Renko double takes. "You what now?"
Ha-chan leaps into her spot! She sits opposite to us, next to the skull, curling up a bit. "Wheelbarrow ri~de!"
"You guys all set?" Orin steps to the side, looking at all of our positions…
Maribel and Renko grab the sides of the cart. I've been doing so just 'cause it's the most relaxing posture, but I'm in the very back…
Ha-chan's not, 'cause yeah.
The umbrella seems to be fixed into place on the cart's side, too. Hoh.
...Slowly, Orin begins pushing us at the speed of half a step a second.
…
…
Daa~h… "Say, uh… can you-"
Splash! Orin suddenly pounds a leg into the muddy path behind us!
Ho ho~h! We're going at running speed now!
A torrent of mud is unleashed behind us. Rest in mud, guard person.
"Woah…!" Maribel gapes! "How…!?"
Below the cart, mud churns loudly as the cart is pushed ahead. As we continue, though, the cart bumps and splashes against a lot of uneven dirt on the path…
At the moment, it seems we're riding back down the Hakurei path…
Oo~h. That goo girl's ahead of us again!
Renko notices, looking ahead past Ha-chan. "Hey, u~h, there's a slime girl ahead of us!"
...Orin looks past us, but promptly continues pushing.
Splash! Once again, she seems to kick into the mud to propel us forward faster. Yo…!
Maribel raises her plant hanger, as if that'd do something. "We're gonna run into it! Maybe we should go around!?"
Splash! Orin kicks into the soil again, and we accelerate to the point that she stops running along with it, and just floats with her hands on the cart's handles. It's like the cart's just dragging her along…!
We quickly roar towards the idle bronze slime girl-
Bam! Like a freakin' acrobat, Orin abruptly slams her legs into the soil beneath the cart's back wheel with a fast, fluid motion.
We tilt upward-
Squelch! We ride up the goo girl's form a little bit, and plow through it. Woah ho ho…! It's like driving through freakin' peanut butter or something! It doesn't slow us too badly, but it seems like the cart displaced a lot of the goo.
Sploosh! After a short drop, we slowly decelerate now that we're past the goo girl. Nevermind, we actually lost a good bit of speed doing that.
I look back-
Oh. Orin actually seems to have let go of the cart for that stunt, and is now flying after us to grab on again.
Latching back on, she grins at me. "How'd ya like that!?"
"...I guess it works!" Maribel, you did not witness what I witnessed, yo. Orin literally abandoned the cart for a moment or two…!
Splash! Splash! Floating off the ground again, the cat girl pounds her right leg into the mud to push us along, similar to how one might accelerate a skateboard…
We blow past the Hakurei Shrine steps at like, car speeds, rain blowing into the cart despite the umbrella above us.
"So fast…!" Ha-chan's excited!
As we accelerate along, we near the Misty Lake really freakin' quickly…!
To prevent us from going soaring into the lake, Orin starts digging her heels into the dirt path… although after a moment of doing so, she begins to make us arc to the right, in the direction of Youkai Mountain. We skid along the dirt and grass as the Hakurei path comes to an end before the lake-
Fwam! Ruby red danmaku brightly flares behind us as Orin kicks into the soil behind the cart once again, propelling us in the new direction. That turn also let me see how much mud we're kicking up! Holy frik!
"Things're gonna get a li~ttle bumpy!" Orin yells at us from behind the cart!
Going off the trail, we roar over a small incline dotted with trees-
Ba-bam!
"Hngh…!" The cart decelerates rapidly from the incline, causing Orin to press up behind it. Quickly, she begins pounding her legs into the soil to keep it moving, kicking up grass behind us…
Meanwhile, the uneven terrain's shaking us all around a little bit…!
Maribel's holding onto the sides of the cart hard enough for her knuckles to turn white. "I don't think this is safe…!"
You don't say…!?
Renko looks back at her about as dryly as I'd anticipate.
"Woohoo~!" Ha-chan's having fun, though!
We begin to reach the top of the incline. Once we get up there, Orin grins widely. "Hang on, everyone!"
She kicks into the soil, propelling us forward fast enough that we end up getting some air instead of conforming to the decline after the trees-
Fwoa~sh! Oh, yeah, my suit casts Zero Gravity.
Orin blinks, as the cart moves towards the ground-
Thud. Bouncing off of the ground, the cart begins to slowly flip forward in the air, before Orin stabilizes it and makes sure it atleast continues to go upright and straight through the air…
Due to our holds on the side of the cart- and its current momentum- we're still inside snugly…
Ha-chan's now holding onto the sides of the cart, too, expectant of gravity-related bullshit herein…
"O~h, boy…" Maribel just sighs as she watches us soar over treetops, before turning to me. "If I break something, you're paying for it."
"I brought that Mega Potion, remember?" Renko reveals she somehow acquired a healing item. "If we don't break our necks from this, that should fix up anything."
...After a moment, gravity kicks back in-
"Woa~h!" Orin almost lets us drop, but saves the cart by kicking the bottom of it and lunging forward to grab the back of the tub outright, ignoring the handles. "The hell was that...!?"
...Gradually slowing down, Orin glides towards the earth slowly and gently, moving us forward the entire time. It still takes awhile for our momentum to die, though, so we make some good progress.
Currently, we're currently like, right before the forest that's at the base of Youkai Mountain. That whole jump pretty much got us through the big ass field prior to it.
Thud. Orin places the cart on the ground.
"Ha~h…" She takes a breath. "Guys're givin' me a workout!"
"Is she super woman…?" Maribel can't believe we're not all dead yet.
"Looks like it." Renko's relaxed a lot more, now, no longer fumbling with her pockets.
Ha-chan claps her hands together! "Again! Again!"
Don't tempt fate, yo…
...Gradually, Orin starts pushing the cart again. She's accelerating a lot faster than she did the first time, pounding her legs against the ground as she pushes us forward. None of them are those crazy bursts of speed she did the first time, but this is cool.
We seem to be taking a well-trodden path through this part of the woods.
Clang!
Wat.
...Looking to my right, I see a tiny cart bump up against the side of ours. Some fluffles are sitting inside of it, and no one's pushing it.
Maribel and Renko stare at it, too, furrowing their brows at it…
Clang! It bashes against us fruitlessly.
...Noticing this, Orin-
Bam! Oh, shit, she's doing that thing where she tilts the cart up again-
Ba-Clang! With some fancy footwork and pounding the floor, Orin tilts us towards the fluffle cart and crushes it completely by dropping ours onto it, embedding it half in the mud below us.
As we keep moving forward, she retains hold onto the cart this time, now adjusting it to its new alignment and making sure it's still moving forward and not towards the trees off the path.
...Maribel chuckles incredulously. "Wa~s that really necessary?"
"Caves're right ahead!" Orin yells! Oo~h, I haven't seen the caves before, yo…!
...Oo~h, I see 'em coming up, too. The entrance is pretty big, and seems to be framed with wood architecture of some kind…
We blow right through the open entrance, and enter the cave.
Holy crap it's dark in here.
After a few moments, I feel us start to drop… and not just for a brief moment, this is a good like two seconds so fa~r…!
"Hold on!" Considering Orin's just now reinforcing that we should hold on…
Clang! We're all thrown into the air a little as the cart bounces against some rocks.
"Aaaa~h!" The girls yell!
By 'a little'... I actually did mean a little, we weren't tossed out of the cart or anything close to that, but we still got freakin' manhandled.
A~nd we're dropping again. What, is this path just a long ass shaft of jagged drops…?
This time, Orin inches forward and hugs the wheelbarrow by the tub again. Oh, boy!
Cla~ng! Holy shit!
"Waa~h!" Ha-chan is nearly thrown from the cart!
A~nd we're airborne again. What is this…!?
…
Things slow down a little as Orin carries the cart by the tub instead of just letting us fall.
Maribel exhales, pressing a hand to her chest. "Ge-gee~z…"
"Sorry 'bout the slowdown." Orin apologizes for not breaking our necks. "This shaft always sucks on the return. I usually try ta go as far as possible without just carryin' it, but too much and the bodies…" Orin takes a breath. "The bodies just get thrown against the ceilin', y'know?"
Renko snorts, looking back at Orin…
"Aw, yeah." I agree with her. "Isn't it just the worst when your corpses get slammed against the ceiling?"
"Yeah." Orin agrees with me!
...The good part about going slower is that we don't have to yell over the cart's loud ass wheel.
A few moments later, she brings up that it's impossible for any of us to relate with that experience. "How the hell'd you know?"
"But you-..." Maribel struggles to find words to describe this situation.
Honh, honh…!
…
As we descend down the shaft diagonal further, some gems along the cave walls begin to light up dimly.
"Ooo~..." Maribel and Ha-chan are both equally mystified by this. Ho ho!
...Some kinda luminescent apparition begins to slide out of one of the walls to our right as we descend. It's got a curiously swirly form, and the smog that comprises it is bright tan.
Orin looks over at it neutrally, before extending a leg and raising it to point at it-
Red, ruby-like danmaku comes out of her mud-soaked shoe, traveling towards the phantom in a straight line.
"Huoa~h…' The phantom dissipates in the air, its particles crackling with danmaku energy before it vanishes completely.
"Gem phantoms…" Orin mutters the name like they're some household insect.
Fwoa~sh!
Ze~ro gravity powers… activate! Not that I have any control over them!
...Everyone floats up a little, before grabbing the sides of the cart again to push themselves back down.
Orin smirks. "Oh, woah!" We begin to move through the cave shaft much faster! "Light as a feather!"
Ho ho ho! Zero Gravity's actually useful instead of a nuisance, for a change!
…
We reach the bottom of the shaft, I think. There are torches down here, on little posts.
The cart barely makes noise as we stop at the bottom-
Gravity kicks back in!
Ti~ng. A noise is made by the gravity of the cart re-initializing.
"Now…" Pushing us forward along the smooth-ish bottom, we're moved into an area that seems to have ambient light. "Welcome to Old Hell!"
We pass through another large, wooden arch similar to the one on the surface.
...Yo.
Immediately, we're greeted by dim, amber light that glowed down from the cave walls. The cave itself was so massive and expansive that calling it just a 'cave' is like, calling a continent just an island. This is like, a huge cavern with a whole freakin' biome in it! Things are so far away there's atmospheric fog.
In the distance, we saw plains of curious slants and slopes. Small structures dotted these outlying plains that lead up to the cave walls in the distance, but what caught my eye was the city that was straight ahead. It was far off enough to not appear near- and by comparison to modern cities it might not be that big- but it looks pretty freakin' big…
I assume the amber lights coming off of the underground walls are flows of lava or something. They're not excessive, it's just like… the way the lava flows down the walls in some areas makes it look like the cave walls are cracked or something, and there's fire all behind it.
Light's also coming from the oni city, but only a bit.
It's like a brand new game, yo…
"Wo~w…" Maribel takes in the sights. Yeah, you said it…! First time for all of us, here! Well, except for Orin, anyway.
"Hehehe~..." Orin begins pushing us forward leisurely. "Now that we're outta the rain, we can take our time, yeah?"
"Yeah…" Renko idly pats herself a bit. "It's awfully warm down here, isn't it?"
"Beats freezin' your ass off in the rain, though." Orin puts it aptly.
...I can't feel the heat 'cause of my space suit! I'd be having a bad day down here in my kimono, though.
"It's like…" Find words, Ha-chan, find words! "It's like a really big room…!" Hoh. Words have been found, yo…
...So, yeah, cat cart adventures, yo.
"I'll be takin' us around the oni city." Orin informs us. "Normally I'd run right through 'em all if my cart was empty, but it'sa bit hard with a full cart 'cause I can't just fly over crowds or do stunt jumps and stuff. That's also if they're not blowing the city up again."
We eventually reach a ravine prior to the actual planes, which seems to separate the cavern's plains from its wall…
However, there is a bridge up ahead!
Once we reach it, I notice that there's a girl leaning against the side guard rail of it. It's a pretty snazzy bridge, yo…
Is that girl Parsee? That's probably Parsee!
...She's also a lot cuter than I was anticipating. Nor is she as short as I had imagined!
"Hi~." Orin gives her a wave as we pass. "Just transporting some dead bodies, nya~!"
...Parsee looks up at us with only the driest of expressions. "They're not dead, and they're not bodies."
...This causes Orin to pause. "What? Whaddaya mean 'they're not bodies'?"
Quickly, Parsee accelerates in the air, landing at the side of the bridge opposite of us. "They're nobodies. Why are you trying to sneak nobodies past me?"
...Orin seems to deflate from her joke. "'Cause they paid me money." Ho ho!
Parsee frowns. "Of course people'd pay you money to get by me. No one pays me money…"
Exhaling, Orin pushes us forward again a little. "If ya don't get outta the way I'm runnin' ya over."
"Fine. Do that, then." Parsee folds her arms, standing in our way. "...See if I care."
...Orin huffs, stopping the cart again. "Look- what, you want a cut? I can make a deal."
"Now you want to make deals…" Parsee looks away, a vain expression on her face. "I bet you would've just blazed by me if I tried to make a deal first."
"Really lettin' loose today, ain't'cha…!?" Orin's starting to get annoyed!
Fwoa~sh! My suit does its thing and freakin' screws gravity.
...The cart slowly drifts into the air, only for Orin to grab onto it. "Okay- who the hell keeps casting that? You have terrible strategic sense."
I raise my hand! "Me, yo! That's me! It's me…" Yea~h…!
"Okay." Orin smiles at me. "Stop doing that."
"I can't." I let my arms go limp against the cart's sides. "My suit does it automagically."
...Orin just slowly rolls her eyes, before speaking in monotone. "Of course. Why wouldn't a space suit just remove gravity when it feels like it."
Right? That's what they were known for, yo.
Parsee sighs really audibly. "Why can't I have an outfit like that…?" ...What about our conversation made you want this space suit?
"Besides…" Parsee looks to the side. "I heard it was better to be honest than to bottle things up. I guess I can't be honest now. Cool."
…
Cla~ng! The cart stops trying to escape from reality.
Orin begins walking around it, proceeding towards Parsee. "Yer not plannin' on leavin' us with any whammies, now are ya…?"
Parsee tilts her head back and forth. "Honestly? Yeah. The moment you leave, I'm gonna make you all hate each other."
...Orin pauses, looking back at us, before looking back at Parsee. "Actually, now that I think about it…"
Clapping her hands, Orin calls out to us! "Outta the cart for now, kids!"
"Aww~h…" Ha-chan whines, floating out of the cart…
Renko and Maribel start to get out rather- woah shit!
Cla-Clank…
The cart fell over, spilling us out onto the bridge…
"What's this all about…?" Renko was the first to climb back up! "You're not kicking us out, are you?"
"Na~h." Orin waves her off. "I just wanna see if you guys can reasonably rough up Parsee."
"What…!?" Parsee blinks! "You…!"
"Rela~x." With a smug expression, Orin addresses her. "If you're not down for that, you can just make two of them hate the other two and we'll see how that goes."
...Parsee starts nodding. "Okay, that's a bit better, actually…"
The green-eyed girl lays her eyes on us. Ho~h boy!
…
For a moment, it seems like nothing's goin' down. Me and Maribel get up, dusting ourselves off a bit… not that I can do it meaningfully with this space man uniform!
…
"You kinda need to be talking, sort of." Parsee instructs us. "Talk."
Cool power. Time to reuse a joke that immediately came to mind! "This i~s ground contro~l to ma~jor Tom…!"
Maribel snorts. "Took you that long, huh…?"
Hey, yo. Sometimes ya just gotta find the right moment! I don't think that was a great moment for it, though… although it was a good ice breaker, I think.
"Brad-ku~n…" Ha-chan lands next to us. "Why don't you talk to me more?"
Ho~h, shit! That was sudden…!
"Da~h…" I turn to her. "I dunno, yo. I-"
"Why do you talk with her so much, too?" Ha-chan points at Maribel. "What does she have that I don't…?"
...I didn't think I'd ever hear these things coming from Ha-chan!
"Uhm…" Maribel raises her hands, backing away. "I-I'm sorry if I-"
"N-no!" Ha-chan starts to tear up! "You're not sorry! I-I hate you!" Running towards Maribel, Ha-chan begins to flail her arms crying-windmill style!
"He-hey, no!" Maribel shields herself by holding up her own arms…
So this is what Parsee meant by making us hate each other… she can control jealousy, can't she? That's kinda dangerous…!
Well, I'm not feeling weird at the moment, at least. Maybe I didn't get picked…
"Hey…" Renko abruptly turns towards me. O~h, here we go… "Your name's Brad, right?"
"No." I shake my head.
…
Renko sighs. "How could Merry hang around with someone so annoying…?" Renko's chill is slowly becoming less chill! This one's a bit more obvious than Ha-chan… although that's mostly 'cause Ha-chan's a bit more spontaneous in general, I'd think.
Since this can only go one way…!
I start to step towards Renko.
...She starts to back up once I get close. "Hey- stop. Get aw- hey!"
Grabbing Renko by the shoulders, I start saying fun things. "I love you."
She looks bewildered! Not in pleased way, just freakin'... shell-shocked!
...Leaning forward, I bump her face with my helmet. "Aa~h, you set my soul on fire."
"Wh-what the hell…" Renko is on an emotional rollercoaster!
I bonk her face with my helmet again. "...It is not just a~ uh, little spark. It is, a flame! A big, roaring flame!"
I boop her face a few more time with my helmet-
"Get awa~y from me…!" Renko weakly punches my stomach, only for the plastic suit bits to impede her. "Ow!"
Reaching forward, I start petting her, knocking her hat off in the process. Wahaha!
...She reaches into her pockets, and starts fumbling for a weapon.
She promptly draws them new scissors.
I step back abruptly, giving her a push-
"Wa~h!" She lands on her bum! "Ugh…"
...I look around to gauge the crowd, yo.
Orin and Parsee dunno what to think, yo. Orin's got a dry expression, and Parsee's just mildly amazed or something…
Maribel looks like she expected something like this. Freakin'... yo.
Ha-chan stomps towards Renko. "Who even are you!?"
Renko looks up at her as she readjusts her hat, her brows furrowing. "I-I could say the same about you!"
...Upon reaching her, Ha-chan just freakin' collapses onto her. They both stretch out a bit as they tussle on the floor-
Oh, shit, Renko's jabbing with those scissors! "Yo, yo! Chill-"
Pi~chun! After cleaving her blade into Ha-chan's stomach a few times, the fairy explodinated. Awwh…! Oh, well. Maybe Ha-chan knows how to get down here again…
"You know what…?" Drolly, Orin pans her head towards Parsee. "I~ think that's enough of that…"
"Really?" Parsee actually looks like she doesn't want this to stop. "...Mmh, fine. You're probably taking them to the palace, anyway, since they're just a bunch of humans."
Hoh.
Renko springs back up, her scissors drawn! "I-If Merry won't chase you off, I will…!"
"Hey, hey…!" Maribel gets in the way, holding her new plant hanger. "Knock it off, Renko-chan. You're being manipulated."
"You're being manipulated!" Renko retorts, marching towards us. "How dare you just go up," she raises her scissors, seemingly intent on attacking Maribel for some reason, "and accuse me when I'm trying to defend you!?"
Maribel raises her hanger! "Reflect!"
Renko swings her scissors! "Listen to me, Merry~!"
Ti~ng! A reflective, circular barrier with small hexagonal panels flashed to life around Maribel and stopped Renko's attack entirely.
"Whah…?" Renko looked like she couldn't believe it. "How could-"
Fwa-fwa-fwam! Suddenly, the barrier shattered, the hexagonal shards dissipating and exploding into small shockwaves of magical energy in the air.
"Au~gh!" Renko's sent flying by the barrier's counterattack, although not very high or far.
Thud. She lands against the floor, white energy running along her body.
Instantly, Maribel sprints to her friend. "Renko!"
...Let us see if she needs any medical attention, yo. Got some potions on hand, son.
I glance at Orin and Parsee to see their reactions.
Kitty's just got a 'begrudgingly okay with this' sort of face. Hoh.
Parsee looks curiously pissed about what just happened. I think that's not something unusual for her…
"Ah…" Renko starts to sit up, apparently not too badly beat up by that. Guess it's mostly knockback, here. In Kingdom Hearts II, that attack does way too much damage for its own good.
...Then, she looks at me. "Oh- oh, my god…"
I just kinda stare at her, yo…
Standing up abruptly, she bows before me. "I'm sor-sorry!"
Oh no. I gotta break the news to her, yo. "I'm sorry to inform you that I don't think a romantic relationship would work out between us."
...She blinks. "Wh-what? No- I- I killed your friend! And- she loved you and everything- and-..." Tearing up, Renko brings her hands to her eyes...
I shrug. "Well, to be fair, she respawns…"
...Renko takes her hands away from her eyes. "Wh-what?"
"She's a fairy, yo." I explain to her how fairies work, since apparently Merry over there didn't cement her on the details. "Fairies are forever." ...As long as nature is forever. If nature is not forever, then fairies are not forever!
...She sniffs. "Whah?"
"Fairies don't die." Maribel clarifies my words. "Their energy just gathers back together somewhere else."
…
"What." This time Renko's less 'confused-confused' and more like 'are-you-serious-confused' "Ho-how does that even…?" She's still gotta wipe the tears from her eyes, though, so she does that.
"I don't know." Maribel confesses. Idly, she starts to head back for the cart. "...Are we done here, yet?"
Orin moves for the cart, too. "Yea~h. I think Parsee's pleased."
"Sure I am!" Parsee is in fact the opposite of pleased… "What I'd give to have friends!"
Shaking her head, Orin gets behind the cart… "You have friends, y'know."
Parsee narrows her eyes, gritting her teeth. "Hah. Are they really?"
Oo~h, boy, getting into this cart's gonna be a project…
Renko follows behind us slowly...
"Heh. I'd sure like to think so!"
...I look in the direction of the voice.
Yuugi is here. I almost forgot how freakin' tall she was.
Stepping up beside Parsee, Yuugi has her arms folded.
"What're you doing here…?" Parsee gives her a stare.
"Heard some commotion and thought it'd be a good time…" Bringing her arms behind her head, Yuugi stretches…! "Bu~t it's just a cat, and a-... space dude." How the hell does an oni know about space suits? "Some girls."
Oof! I have managed to get into the cart!
...Maribel starts to get in, and Renko helps her up before hopping in herself.
Yuugi grins. "What, you run outta dead bodies?"
Orin snorts. "Na~h. Well, technically. I'm gettin' paid to be a taxi to old hell."
"Pfft." Yuugi looks us over. "Well, if those pansies on the surface think they're hard enough, they can knock themselves out."
Ho ho! We do indeed think we're hard enough! Just… not to take on oni anytime soon. Or anything down here that has teeth, for that matter. Hell- I don't think we can even take the ghosts!
Orin begins pushing the cart! ...Pretty slowly, though.
…
"If any of you need to stop to piss, say something." Orin instructs us.
"We're not five." Maribel rebukes.
Clang!
...Before we leave the bridge, Yuugi grabs hold of the cart with one hand, stopping Orin in her tracks.
"So, where they headed?" Yuugi grins at Orin.
...Glancing away for a moment, Orin grins back at her. "You know where. The palace."
…
After staring at Orin for a moment, Yuugi crouches down and grabs the metal stopper on the bottom of the cart-
She lifts the entire cart- Orin included- into the air. Oh, boy…
...Pre-emptively, Orin pulls herself up and into the cart, somehow freakin' maneuvering around me to sit ahead of Renko. Whatever movement she did, it was so freakin' acrobatic it only took like a moment to get past all three of us from above.
Arching her arm back, Yuugi takes a moment to 'aim', before-
Woosh! Jesus, fu~ck!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 62
PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Holder of Too Many Titles.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Tundra Bloomer - A earth-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice!
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…
==o==
WEAPONS:
Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.
Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.
Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!
Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!
Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.
Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…
==o==
ARMOR:
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!
Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!
Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred percent ice resistance, and as such renders me immune to all magical ice damage. Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt me with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides me a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...
Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! One hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent freezing resistant. Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it. Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.
Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' helmet. Fifty percent blinding resistant! When worn with the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit, it also confers immunity to burning and poison, along with another one hundred percent electricity resistance. Yo…!
Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes! Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.
==o==
CONSUMABLES/OTHER:
Forty six thousand, two hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!
Seven Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
WebDings Book about Foreign Juices - Wahaha! This better fetch a price on the market!
Dark Stone - I dunno what it is, but it looks cool. Probably something I can slap to one of my dark weapons!
Enchanted Icicle - Not gonna melt now, son. It's enchanted to glow in the dark…!
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
PARTY:
London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!
PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.
==o==
Maribel Hearn, the University Student
WEAPON: Porcelain Mirror - A plant hanger made with curiously chrome materials. Reflects small projectiles it hits. Allows the user to cast Reflect. May cast Reflect with certain skills.
OFFHAND: Umbrella - It helps stop the dreaded sky water.
INVENTORY:
[Suitcase] - Holds her stuff. Gives five inventory spaces!
Drawings - Her drawing stuff!
Writing Utensils - Crayons, pencils, pens… hoh hoh!
Dreamcatcher - A holy hanger. May cast Talisman Seal on impact. Casts Talisman Seal with certain skills. Boosts the power of holy skills. Grants fifty percent resistance to syphoning and cursing.
Cast-Iron Plant Hanger - A sturdy plant hanger made of solid metal.
[one space remaining]
==o==
Renko Usami, the University Student
WEAPON: Counterweight - Black and gold scissors, with elaborate handles. Every enemy on the field increases combo length by one attack. Every enemy on the field increases jump height and defense by .3x, starting at a base of 1.0x with one enemy. Twenty five percent space resistance granted. User is immune to shoe-glue status when enemies are present. When equipped with no enemies on the field, inflicts shoe-glue status, preventing the user from jumping.
OFFHAND: Umbrella - It helps stop the dreaded sky water.
==o==
INVENTORY:
Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!
Sunfire Scissors - Casts Sunfire Flare on impact. Boosts the power of Sun elemental attacks.
Mega Potion - Causes the whole party to regenerate life.
[no more space remaining]
==o==
ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:
as my inventory grows, so does the post-chapter results screen
i've been going well over 10 k every chapter as of late (this one was 13 k) but still oof
renko and merry got their new weapons offscreen by the way; i might ask them how later
i think this was a fairly solid chapter overall - w -
summary sans party members is like 2.5 k words in and of itself which is kinda bad; i should see how i can condense that in the future
that was my original intent with getting weapon upgrades but i kinda forget for awhile - w - although i DO have some upgrades to use
i should probably also do something about all that stuff i'm hoarding XD
also reviewers pls bb cm bak u can blame it all on me bb
...i know you're all still here, too, traffic stats say so!
in part i wanted to deviate from the normal super-jealous parsee but that'd take actually getting to know her for the most part; when it comes down to it being superficially jealous of people all the time is kinda her thing
i coulda deviated but i wanted to be true to that - w -
orin's pretty chill and casual…
and now we're in hell son
as always, see you all next time!
