Chapter Five

Bella

Even though I knew Maggie meant me no harm I couldn't help feeling uneasy when she shut the door and I lost sight of Jasper. Somehow ever since I had seen him at the motel door I had felt safer. Why he had agreed to become my protector I didn't know and right now I didn't care. The very knowledge that he was here, only a few hundred yards from me gave me a sense of security.

I watched as Maggie poured tea and handed me a bowl of steaming stew.

"I thought you'd be hungry. When did you eat last?"

I explained that Jasper had stopped for dinner earlier and she looked a little surprised.

"A thoughtful vampire! I thought Carlisle was the only one. It seems I was mistaken."

I jumped to his defence without thinking, "Jasper isn't quite like anyone I've ever met. Vampire or human."

I could tell Maggie was weighing me up and I hoped I would make a good impression. I needed her friendship. She was the only one Carlisle thought could help me.

Waiting until I had finished my meal and was seated comfortably by the fire, Maggie began questioning me.

"What exactly did Carlisle tell you about me, Bella?"

"Nothing. There wasn't time. Just that if anyone could help me you could. I assume that you were once in the same situation as me?"

"I was and not a day goes by that I don't think about Mary, Bella. She was so beautiful, perfect in every way. She was too good for this world but I know she's waiting for me somewhere. Did he tell you how slim your chances are of a happy outcome?"

"He didn't pull his punches. I know it's going to take a miracle but I'm going to fight all the way."

She nodded, Don't believe everything you're told. Like the horror stories about your baby killing you. Your baby loves you, it would never harm you. It knows you love it too. You're very brave, Bella. I'm just sorry that your husband wouldn't stand beside you. Do you still love him?"

Her question was unexpected but I merely shrugged, "I can't answer that. I think I will always love Edward for giving me this gift but I can never forgive him for wanting to kill our child."

"Oh, then I think you just answered me, Bella. Do you have any idea how hard it will be for you if your baby survives? Bringing up a hybrid child will be dangerous for you and for it. You'll never have a normal life."

I looked into her eyes as I answered, "I don't care. We'll cope somehow, and I know I can do this. It is good to have someone who knows what I'm going through, around. I'm terrified I'll do something wrong. I have no idea how to do this, Maggie. How different is it, carrying a hybrid baby? What do I need to know?"

"Well, it all happens a lot more quickly and it's very hard on you physically and mentally. Don't worry so much. I'll take care of you and if you stay healthy so will the little one."

I found myself crying again at her kindness, "I'm sorry. I don't seem to be able to stop weeping."

She patted my shoulder gently and I felt reassured.

"That's just your hormones. You'll find your emotions are all over the place. Just don't let yourself get depressed. That's the most difficult thing of all, staying positive.

Now, I've made the cabin up for you. I thought you might like a space of your own but you are welcome here whenever you want company. Would you like to stay here tonight? There's plenty of room for you if you do."

I wanted to stay with Maggie more than anything but I knew I needed to make my own space, a nest for me and the baby. Besides, I had noticed that Maggie was hostile to Jasper and I knew he deserved better. I didn't want him to think I was taking sides.

"There is just one thing, Bella. I know you might find this a little harsh but I'm afraid it's non-negotiable. Your friend is barred from this house and your cabin. I can't stop you from seeing him but if you want to, then you must meet outside."

I nodded my agreement. I could hardly risk starting an argument the minute I met my benefactor, but I knew that Jasper was close by and that was enough for now.

Maggie seemed satisfied.

"Very well, let me show you to your new home. I hope you like it. It's not much but it's warm and comfortable. I suppose you'll want to make some changes. You go ahead and make it feel like home. The wood store is full but if you need more just let me or your friend know. You'll see him around I'm sure."

The cabin was a ten-minute walk from the farmhouse and by the time we got there I was pretty much out on my feet so after a quick run-through on the small wood burner and where the oil for the lamps was stored Maggie said goodbye and left me alone.

It was small and cozy just as she said, but it had been furnished with love. Most of the soft furnishings were hand made and the other furniture was old but well cared for. I fell in love with it immediately and after putting a couple of logs on the wood burner I went through to my bedroom and sank onto the bed. It was the most comfortable I had ever laid on and within minutes I was asleep having only taken off my shoes and jacket.

Bright sunshine beamed into my face when I woke up. I hadn't even drawn the drapes I was so tired last night.

I looked at the bag Maggie had brought in from the porch when we arrived and found some toiletries and a sweatsuit. It wasn't gold but it was pretty close as far as I was concerned. As I unpacked it I found a receipt in the bottom of the bag and realized that Jasper had supplied the things. He'd taken the time to shop for me during our trip.

I stripped off and took a quick shower. The water was nice and hot, the wood burner supplied it according to Maggie so I was glad I'd put some fresh logs on before crashing last night. I felt like a new woman once I was clean and had washed my hair.

As I was towelling myself dry I noticed a distinct swell to my belly and placed my hands gently on it. This made it all real, my baby was in there and growing.

"Hello, there little one. I'm your momma. Don't you worry, I'll look after you but I'll need your help."

I found I was smiling so widely that my cheeks began to hurt but I didn't care. It was all real and I determined that no one, not Edward, not the Volturi, no one was going to harm my baby.

I studied my clothes, they were really in need of a wash so I picked up the sweats. At least they weren't fluorescent pink or daubed with some silly slogan. Pulling the pants on I suddenly wanted to kiss Jasper. That small swelling would have made it almost impossible to do up my jeans but these were baggy enough to feel comfortable. Whether it had been planned or was just a coincidence he had supplied just what I needed.

In the kitchen, I explored the little pantry and found a variety of tins and packets all stacked up neatly. Coffee came first after putting more logs on the burner. There was no electricity so I used the flat top of the stove to heat the water while I grabbed a bowl and a packet of cereal. It was like a little adventure. I felt like an excited child on vacation for a moment. I guess it was true, it was an adventure, I just prayed it would have a happy ending for all of us.

Before I knew it I had devoured three bowls of cereal and half a packet of cookies. If I kept this up I would be the size of the Stay-puff man from Ghostbusters by next week! Deciding I should really be thinking of eating more healthily I drained a bottle of fruit juice and sat down with a pen and paper to make a shopping list.

It was all a bit overwhelming, I didn't know where to start. Some things were easy, fruit, vegetables, milk, bread, healthy options all, but I craved chocolate, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Hershey's Cookies and Cream Bar to be exact, neither of which I had ever looked at before. Those and chocolate pop tarts. It wouldn't do any harm to allow myself a few treats if I was good the rest of the time surely?

Next, I thought about what I would need for the baby, diapers, towels, wipes, toiletries, bottles, formula, blankets, a crib, a baby bath, clothes, unisex because I had no idea what my little one would be, a stroller, baby meds just in case, a teddy, all babies needed a teddy.

I suddenly felt the crushing weight of my decision. I had no one I could talk to, to advise me on things I needed to do or not do. I missed my mom. Not that Renee would be much use; she'd always been one to worry later, get things last minute. Then I realized I had just the person only ten minutes away, Maggie had been through this. Her baby had been born alive and must have lived for a while so she would know what I needed and what to expect. She would have to be my surrogate mom, paediatrician and midwife.

A knock on the door brought me out of my pity party and I smiled when Maggie came in.

"I thought I should check in on my guest. How did you sleep, Bella? You're looking a little better today."

She glanced at the opened cereal packet, empty milk carton and cookie packet and smiled, "It looks like your appetite hasn't suffered."

A little flustered, I asked her to sit down and put the kettle back on for more coffee. While I did that I asked her to look at the lists I had made.

"I'm lost, Maggie. I'd love it if you could help me organize things and tell me what to expect. I'm a little scared of the unknown."

She smiled and we sat together poring over the papers while drinking the steaming coffee.

"I can go into town and get more supplies for you. That's not a problem. Besides, I have quite a stock of non-perishables in the house. You can take whatever you like. Eggs, fresh vegetables and milk are easy too. All provided for off the farm.

The problem will be the baby things. I can't go buying that sort of thing without raising eyebrows and we don't want to do that. I suppose I could ask your friend to drive to Lincoln. That should be safe enough."

That last had been said a little dubiously and I had to admit the thought of sending Jasper out shopping for baby things was a little strange. At the same time, I knew he would take it in his stride. Nothing seemed to phase him.

"Thank you."

She placed a hand on mine and squeezed, "You are very welcome, Bella. And try not to worry too much, that's not good for the baby. Just try to relax, take it easy and get fresh air when you feel like it. There will come a time when you'll hardly be able to see your feet so enjoy this time before it gets hard. Remember, I'm only a holler away. Oh yes. Here."

She handed me a walkie talkie, "I have the other one so you can contact me anytime day or night. Just call and I'll be here in a jiffy."

I put it in my pants pocket and thanked her again.

"Right, let's get started then. Do you feel like a walk to the house? We can go through my food stash. Think of it as a rural Walmart!"

I laughed and pulling on my jacket followed her out into the air which was fresh and felt good on my face. "It's beautiful out here. You have a lovely home."

She looked a little sad, "If only it had been a family home. It just wasn't to be. Still, maybe I'll see your little one running around the farm before too long."

I looked for Jasper as we walked to the farmhouse but he was nowhere in sight and Maggie, having noticed, shook her head.

"Your friend went to the far pasture to mend the fences. I think he's checking the area out but it's getting jobs done so I can't complain. I'll leave him a note in the bunkhouse along with your list. I wonder what he'll think of shopping for baby things."

There was a mischievous smile on her face and I knew she was enjoying the thought of Jasper looking at diapers and baby clothes. I thought she might be surprised. I admit though, I could just visualize him holding up sleepsuits and diapers and giggled. Poor Jasper, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for.

Maggie's pantry was an Aladdin's cave of goodies and by the time we finished sorting out I had enough tins and packets to keep me going for a month! I felt guilty taking so much but she kept adding things she thought I might need, including I was relieved to see, laundry liquid. Now I could clean my clothes.

I had dinner with her, a homemade steak pie with a variety of vegetables and mash. I couldn't remember the last time I had enjoyed a meal so much. The cooking was great but the conversation was even better. Maggie told me about the vampire she had run into when she was a young girl and her story was tragic.

"I was a typical country girl, quite naive and easily impressed and he was handsome and so different from the boys I knew. I didn't even think about where he'd come from or why he was here. He told me stories about countries he had visited, ships he had sailed in on the Great Lakes, and native American tribes he had visited. I think a lot of it was made up to impress but how was I to know? From the things Carlisle told me later I don't think he would have been welcomed into many native American villages.

I fell in love with him and had no one to guide me. I'd lost my mother when I was ten and my father was a drunk who remarried. My stepmother hated me and I'd run away after she beat me. I was working as a hired hand on a farm and the only people I ever saw were the farmer and his family, they had four daughters and three sons but none bothered with me. I don't think they even noticed me.

Needless to say, I got pregnant and my beau vanished. At first, I didn't understand what was happening to me but even an ignorant country girl isn't that dumb and then I panicked. That's when I bumped into Carlisle. I knew what he was of course but he was so different from the man I had fallen in love with. Carlisle was kind and sweet. A real gentleman."

She stopped, her eyes misting over and I knew she was back there, meeting Carlisle for the first time. I suspected from the way she spoke that Maggie had been a little in love with Carlisle too. She had been lucky, very few vampires bothered with humans and those who did usually killed them. Why this one had let Maggie live I had no idea.

"Anyhow, Carlisle stayed and delivered my baby. Oh, Bella, she was so beautiful. She had the biggest brown eyes and black curly hair. She didn't look like any baby I'd ever seen, more like an angel. Carlisle told me that hybrid babies developed very quickly if they survived and we watched as day by day she seemed to grow stronger. She had a warm smile and would clutch Carlisle's finger and try to pull herself up."

Again she stopped and this time a tear rolled down her cheek. She brushed it away absently and continued in a voice full of sorrow.

"Then one day she wouldn't take her milk. She had a fever and her eyes glazed over. Carlisle tried everything. He fought hard for Mary but it wasn't to be. She was too sweet for this world and the angels came to take her home. I'd only had her for a month, that's all. You'd think it would get easier over the years, wouldn't you? Carlisle had warned me that hybrid babies rarely survived. That the human and vampire genes that made up their bodies weren't compatible and fought against each other.

We buried her up on the hill behind your cabin. Carlisle said some beautiful words and stayed until he knew I could cope. When he left he gave me the deeds to this farm. He knew I could never bear to be away from Mary. I've lived here ever since, on and off and I still visit her every day. I pray for better luck for you and your baby. Like Carlisle was to me, I'll be here with you all the way. If it's meant to be then it will be."

I found that I was crying too. Maggie had lived with this pain and loss for years yet it was still as cutting as ever. I made myself a promise to visit Mary's grave and leave some flowers. She was a much-cherished baby, just as mine was, but I was determined there would not be another grave on that hillside.

Maggie pulled herself together, "That's my story, Bella. That and a husband and two more children, little boys that I had some years later."

"So, you had a happy ending?"

She shook her head and smiled sadly, "No. my little boys died the same year, TB. Then my husband was killed in a work accident. I guess it just wasn't to be and as I understood that I wasn't ageing like other humans due I realized that maybe it had been for the best. I couldn't have stayed with my family, too many dangerous questions. Instead, over the years I have tried to help other women in similar situations. No vampires but there are enough evil humans in the world, we don't need demons to torment us."

We sat in companionable silence for a while and I thought of all the pain and suffering Maggie had endured. Yet here she was helping me. My story must have brought back the sad memories of her little ones and I felt guilty.