(in which we have several orgies)

Looking back between the room and Matt, I shake my head. "...You just here ta freakin'... loiter?"

...Matt doesn't say anything. Neither do Rumia nor his death loli. Technically both are death lolis…!

S'a good evening. Well, if they're gonna try 'n' freakin wait me out… I'll wait them out!

Grinning, I nod at them as they stand outside silently.

Bam! The door behind them drops off of its hinges and onto the floor.

"Ha~u…" Aw, dude. It's that tall cream haired cat girl from the previous night, except now I can actually see her. She's, uh… taller than I really recognized! Like, seven feet tall! Hoh, shit…!

She steps out into the hallway, and looks around. She still has no clothes on.

...Matt and Shikome turn to her idly.

The tall, somewhat curvy cat girl rubs the sleep from her right eye. "Nnh…"

"Hi, friend." I gaze at the cat girl. Just gonna, uh… let it all hang out, huh? Okay…!

We're all just here, but no one wants to do anything…!

Matt takes out a pair of scissors I don't recognize. "I found this."

"Oh, didja…?" I stare at it as he holds it up like a freakin' foreign object.

...Casual evenings, yo.

Ha-chan steps up behind me, out of the bed now. "What's going o~n?" Looking over my shoulder, she sees the friends. "...That's a lot of people!"

Rumia points at her. "You're a people, too!"

Jerking her head back, Ha-chan appears surprised!

We start hearing a jingling noise come down the hallway… like the sound 'a freakin' jewelry.

Matt looks in the direction of the noise. Shikome-... seems to be paying more attention to Rumia than anything else at the moment. Ho hoh…?

I look in the direction of the jingling- and what the fuck is that.

Some kinda freakin'... dancer girl, or something, is strutting down the hallway with jazzy movements. She's almost entirely naked, except for a curiously tiny white bra with heart-shaped pad bits, and a thong that covers just freakin' enough.

She's got these baggy things on her legs that look like jiggling water, although they're more like some kinda beige liquid.

As I look at her pastel blue hair, I notice she's got more of that liquid just revolving around her in fancy patterns, so it's probably actually freakin' water or something similar.

...She's also got this little brass floral crown! The jingling came from these chains of pink, heart-shaped pieces that hung all along her side, some of it flowing in her water-based clothes, and some of it dangling free.

That's sure not intimidating!

After a moment, I catch Mima drifting up out of the floor between Matt and Shikome. Slouching, I turn to her…

Mima just looks around, befuddled. "...Ho~w did I get here?"

"That's what I wanna know…!" I back into the room slightly! That's some shit out there, son!

"I just floated around a tree." Mima looked over us blankly "...Now I'm here. Where even… where the hell is here?"

"Hell." I nodded warmly.

Matt put those scissors of his away. I got a feeling that has something to do with this…!

"Why are the~re… people?" The tall as hell cat girl was still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "You… you all don't belong here."

Mima looked the naked cat girl up and down. "...Where the hell am I!?"

That decorated, tan girl with white water clothes began to skip towards our hallway congregation, moving faster.

...Shikome stepped closer to Mima while the ghost faced away from her.

Maybe I should close the door and pretend we went to sleep…!

"Why're you all here…?" Stepping out of the room, the cat girl walked into the midst of all of us.

"I don't know." Mima gave her best, yo. "You tell me."

...The tall cat frowned at her. "Spirit. You-"

"Hello~..." The busty prancing girl with jewelry and freakin' water clothes caught up to us. "...I don't know how I got here… but it's a good thing I did!"

I start backing into the room, only for Matt to start following me in. Son…!

Mima eventually notices how close Shikome got to her. "...What's up with you?"

Shikome leans forward and gives Mima a sniff. "...You smell good."

...Mima just slightly drifts back in response.

I glance over at Matt- who's now in the room with me- and see him just giving his head a tiny, brisk shake. Like, one of them 'why' kinda headshakes.

"Spirit…" The cat girl lumbers up to Mima. "You do not have a place in this palace."

Mima snorts. "...What, you some kinda bouncer? Put on some clothes."

Walking around the ghost, loli, and burly cat, the lewd dancer girl starts progressing towards the door. Ah, freakin'...

Briskly, Matt slides off his mask and hat. "'Cold as hell' is a lie." Pfft. Right?

Ha-chan, Matt, and myself are now like, backed into the middle of the room.

Sliding into our room through the open door, the freakin' lewd dancer girl smiles at us. "Hello~, boys…"

"Son, no." I start to back towards the space between Renko and Maribel's beds…! "Don't do this, son! This ain't yo house, yo!"

She tilts forward. Yes, I know you have huge tits. "But… all of you are so lonely."

Son, no. No~. Backing up, I begin to take out Hard Winter. "Ahah- no no no, yo. Look, I got friends." I gesture to Maribel's bed.

"Wha~t's going on? For- ugh..." She starts to sit up, looking around… "What. Why?"

Renko throws her covers off, seemingly aware of the situation. "Brad, what happened?"

"We're being raided by a belly dancer!" I inform everyone of the situation that has evolved in the last five seconds! "She's tryina' take us to the crush, son!"

"Eheheh…" Giggling, the belly dancer girl brings a hand to her lips. "...My, my. This is perfect."

...I see Matt start to walk around the side-

The girl presses her hands together suddenly, and they begin glowing-

Fwuu~sh! Before Matt can reach the door, a geyser of beige water erupts from the ground before him, forcing him to stumble back.

"No, no, mister." Spinning around on her heel, she smiles at Matt. "Your heart is aching. I can feel it."

...Matt just shakes his head, staring at her neutrally.

"Maribel, grab ya shit!" I give Maribel some directionifications while I try to diffuse the situation by stepping forward a little…!

The girl starts walking towards Matt in a straight line, her water flowing around herself. "You won't ever be lonely again…"

As Matt backs away and she continues to playfully strut towards him, I kneel down and slam Hard Winter into the floor. "Tundra~!"

Kri~ng! A spike of ice erupts where she's gonna go!

Woosh. The belly dancer girl just takes to the air, and hovers over the spike. No, fuck you…!

Matt slides out a pair of slick, black lookin' scissors as she approaches him.

Maribel steps up next to me, holding Porcelain Mirror! "Alright…!"

Renko's standing atop her bed, wielding those scissors of hers.

Fwish! Matt slides to the side to avoid getting a face full of whatever that white water is.

Rotating in the air as if she's sitting on a swivel chair with her legs crossed, the belly dancer girl continues to float towards Matt, if only to get back towards the center of the room. "C'mo~n, everyone… why aren't you having fun? It's the season of harvest dancing!"

"It ain't the season 'a shit!" I retort!

Matt leaps onto Renko's bed and jumps off on our side. Renko does similarly, except distances herself closer to Ha-chan at the front of the room.

Ha-chan's just been kinda watching the belly dancer with a mixed expression…

Marching forward as the belly dancer lets herself land on the bed, I hold my arm up. "Guess what, yo, guess what?"

...At that, she leans down from atop the bed, giving me way too good of a view. "What's that, boy?"

Casting my arm forward, I summon a crusty pillow to whap her in the face!

Poof. It lands on her head.

...A glob of water moves to bash it off, revealing a pouty expression on her face once the pillow's displaced. "I just want you to be honest with yourselves. That surely can't be an evil thing…"

"What do you mean…?" Maribel raises her hanger defensively, moving up next to me. "Why're you here?" I guess those are some good questions to start with!

...Standing upright, the belly dancer girl looks away. "...If I would have to say, I'd say it was the Lord's plan for me to bring you all together."

Alright son. Alright. Alright, son! Freakin'- aaah, aaa~h!

Stepping towards her- even closer than I dared ta go- Matt holds his own arm into the air. Oo~h, does he have a drop-and-frik spell, too?

The belly dancer looks down at him. "Oh? Would you like to dance with-"

Vrrrr~! A saw blade materializes above Matt!? Holy shit- oh right, he could do that. Still, holy shit!

It falls towards the belly dancer-

She claps her hands together, her arms glowing-

Plap! Thick globs of beige liquid slam into the broad sides of the saw blade; even the liquid comprising the 'bags' on her legs rush to defend her.

Vrrrr~! The saw blade tears into the creamy liquid, causing it to spritz and spray all over the room. Slowly, it began to slow down, though…

Cool, now we got freakin'... white liquid mist in the air! The water does feel a little good in all this heat, though.

...After a good couple seconds, the saw blade slowed to the point the belly dancer was able to gravitate it off to the side.

Cli-clink-clank. She dropped it off the side of the bed, allowing it to clatter against the floor. Then, her goo started to return-

Whack! I dash up and hit her ankle! Noo~b!

Some mana prizes splay out on the bed as a result. Yo~.

"Aww~..." She pouts at me, not entirely fazed. "I just want you to all feel good together."

I dash back before her liquid can come back and hit me or something-

She drifts in the air towards me oh fuck. Seemingly sliding in the air, she follows me as I return to Maribel's side-

Maribel raises her hanger! "Reflect!"

Ti~ng! Before she can do some crazy limbo dancer bullshit, Maribel's sphere barrier defends me from actual harm!

"Oh…!?" Merely impacting with the barrier makes the girl bounce back, and do a fucking grandiose backflip. Holy shit…! "Aww~."

Fwa-fwa-fwam! As Maribel's barrier dropped, the resulting knockback blasts released by the shards didn't hit anything in particular.

...For some reason, I feel like the temperature rose again. Freakin'~... if we weren't fighting a watery girl, I'd be hosing us down right now.

"Yo, noob!" I yell at the noob! "I'm gonna take your freakin' floaty dancin' skills, and push 'em somewhere else!"

She giggles. "Hehehe~!" Freakin'...!

Crossing her legs, she sits in the air again as she presses her hands together. Oh, boy…

Renko's moving around the side of the room, trying to flank the belly dancer. I look back at the door-

Matt's there, but it's shut and glowing. Aww. When the hell'd that even happen?

Fwuuu~sh!

Ho~h, shit! Geyser right next to me!

Springing my back, I distance myself before any water actually really gets on me. The few splashes that did get on me were freakin'... they left this weird sorta warm sensation where they hit me.

...Oh, that geyser literally generated under Maribel. Woah no.

Thu-thud. After being juggled briefly, Maribel landed on her back, soaked. "Ah-aah…" Oh, boy. Our defense spammer is down…!

Turning her head, the belly dancer noticed Renko, who froze at the youkai's gaze. "Hehe. No." She snapped her fingers-

Fwoom! An orb of light generated at Renko's position, flinging her back as it expanded right before her. "Gah…!?"

Thu-thud. Renko landed on her butt a few feet away. "Me-Merry…!"

Looking between Maribel and the freakin' wannabe genie, I reach into my bag, and take out Bee-Sheventeen Bawmber! "Yo, asshole!" I call out to her!

She raises a brow at me.

I reel my arm back, and chuck Bee-Sheventeen Bawmber at her.

Looking smug, she raises a hand to catch it as it twirls towards her. It lands in her hand perfectly-

Boom! Wahaha~! Got owned!

"Awah!?" She was not actually flung by the blast, but she flinched heavily! Lotsa her water went splashing onto the bed she was drifting over, too!

The hanger dropped onto the bed as a result of her post-explosion flailing. Ho ho!

Slowly, Maribel began to get onto her legs next to me, her knees shaking as she did so…

Turning to her, I got up close. "Yo, you 'aight?"

"Nnh…" Grunting, she managed to stumble onto her legs next to me. "I-I…"

...I keep my gaze on her, 'cause she doesn't look alright. Her face is all flushed, and-

Dropping her hanger, she lunges forward and latches to my arm. O~h, shit. "A-ah…"

"Freakin'...!" I start to dig into my bag for a Panacea. That's what that warm feeling from the water is! She's casting horny shit on us!

And then-

Bam! What the frik!?

One of the portions of wall on the rightmost segment of room explodes, Shikome soaring inside.

The belly dancer's eyes widen. "Ooh…!?"

Ploop. Shikome ended up colliding with a protective shield of water the belly dancer formed before herself…

Renko runs past the rubble to reach us as Mima floats in through the hole. "You don't just… put stuff in my throat! I don't even have tastebuds anymore, but- ackh…! Pftoo!" Mima 'spits' to the side, but nothing comes out because she's a dead girl.

Renko reaches us! "Merry- are you alright…!?"

Maribel's becoming one with my arm right now, struggling to stand.

Renko puts her arms on one of her shoulders. "Merry. Merry, are-"

Whirling around, Maribel slammed her face into Renko's. "Mmph…!?"

I got my Panacea out!

...Shikome slowly sinks out of the belly dancer's liquid, landing on the bed in upright sitting posture.

Boom! Holy fuck…! We really were taken to the crush! People just keep throwing down the walls!

"Come back!" That seven foot tall kitty burst through a different section of the wall- and holy shit. She looks at least fifty percent more intimidating now than she did earlier! She's got lines on her face and shit, now! Also- her hair's so long it freakin' goes down to her feet and then some!

"Aah…" Renko broke Maribel from her lips. "Merry- stop!"

I grab onto Maribel myself, guarded so she can't molestigate me. Once I do that, Maribel turns around, and freakin' glomps me. "Oh shit!" I~ am not known for my physical strength normally…!

Ha-chan hugs me from behind. "Bra~d-ku~n…" Wat, no. You didn't even- what is this…!?

I am trapped between two girls send help. Freakin'-...!

Matt's sitting by the locked door, curled up into a ball. "Everything has gone wrong." ...You're not helping! Fucking- do something…! You murder people, that's your thing! Aaa~h!

The belly dancer's dim blue eyes flare at the presence of a buncha dark youkai at once. "You unholy spawn shall leave this instant. The Lo~rd sent me here to- aanh…!?"

Instantly, Shikome leapt off the bed and glomped her, causing both to unceremoniously twirl around in the air, bouncing off the back wall.

Maribel starts trying to climb up onto my chest- freakin'...

With the still-equipped Hard Winter, I give myself a strength buff!

I tilt my head to the side- "Mmm~..." Maribel plants a kiss on my cheek, holding it. Freaking…

Wait, holy shit! I don't even need this Panacea, I got that crappy hanger that cleanses people! Fuck yeah!

...I'm not in a position to freakin'- oh, Maribel literally just low key took the Panacea away from me. Well, shit.

Cli-clink. The bottle lands on the ground, but doesn't break 'cause it rolls off her shoe. The one lucky thing that happens.

"Yeah, yeah- scat." Mima sends a wave of energy at the ultra tall cat-

"Ngh…!" The cat girl just stumbles back, before steeling herself and charging forward with her arms raised defensively. "Rnh…!"

Mima drifts forward to avoid her. "You stupid-"

As the Shikome and belly dancer tussle rolls through the air, Shikome's tendrils lash out for Mima, grabbing onto her arm… somehow.

"The hell!?" Mima's eyes widen at this. "You fucking-"

"Anh!?" The belly dancer exclaims something for some reason! "Ooh!"

Splash! One of her water globs erratically departs from her form, and slams Renko. "Ahh…!?"

Dropping Hard Winter, I slide out Fragile Flower- oh my god this was not a good idea I feel so-

"C'mo~n…" Maribel whines against me. She tries to climb onto me again, and we actually freakin' stumble back because Ha-chan can't hold us and I can't support myself anymore either.

"Aah…!?" Ha-chan barely keeps us from falling the fuck over! Man, Fragile Flower sucks even with the freakin' buff from Hard Winter.

...Renko starts stumbling towards us. Hopefully I can break free if she glomps the fuck outta us…

"You fucking…!" Mima tries to drift back, two tendrils wrapped onto her, one around her arm and one around her waist. "I've fought tentacle fuckers before!"

Idly, Rumia seems to drift in through the hole in the room's wall. "Why're you all yelling…?"

"Nya~hn!" Something's happening to that belly dancer, but I dunno what! I'm not sure if I wanna know what! I probably know what, though…

That big cat girl- probably freakin'... a lion considering her look- was strafing around Shikome's- I don't even know what's going on over there. It's a big rape ball or something! Holy Christ!

Renko glomps Maribel from behind. "I-I love you, Merry…!"

As a result, Ha-chan goes sliding backwards, too much force exerted on our pile!

Thu-thu-thud. She ends up tipping us all onto our side, Maribel holding me by my waist, and Renko hugging her back, and Ha-chan holding me by my freakin' arms.

Raising Fragile Flower, I aim it at Maribel before she can do anything weird…! "Tha-that's enough of this shit...!"

Channeling mana into Fragile Flower, I shout the spell in case it needs that. "Cleanse!"

Fwo-fwoosh. White swooshes of energy spread around her form, before fading. "Ah-aah…?" Her grip on me loosens! Yo ho ho~!

"Nuoo~h!" The belly dancer is experiencing some shit. Look- it involves tentacles, that's all I know, and I don't care! I don't care…!

Splash! Spla-splash, splash! White globs of water start splashing across the room erratically-

Fwuu~sh! A bed is thrown aside by a white geyser-

Fwuu~sh! Holy fuck! That was the wall! The wall!

...We're soaked again. Fuck. I'm soaked!

Pointing the hanger at myself, I bare my teeth. "Cleanse!"

Fwo-fwoosh. I feel my body heat rapidly lower as the holy energy runs across my form…

"Br-Brad…" Ha-chan suddenly starts pushing forward like an asshole-

Maribel's still hugging my waist, 'cause she got splashed again by that freakin' geyser!

Renko's starting to cling to Maribel tightly-

This visual. This visual I see right now cannot be describe with words, so I'm just gonna make it not exist anymore. Maribel's hugging my waist a little too tightly, let's leave it at that…

...She's got her face- nope! Not describing it, just gonna deal with it!

"Cleanse!" I aim down at Maribel…!

Fwo-fwoosh. She is no longer super horny!

"Whah…?" She's kinda out of after all of that, though. Her face moves away from my- oh yeah let me just- oh fuck.

I stumble to the side, Ha-chan's arms around my shoulder. Renko pushes Maribel to the ground and off of me as I stumble away from her, leaving me free to deal with the other bullshit going on…

Matt's still sitting in front of the door. You motherfuck-

The door swings open, Matt being gently pushed aside by it.

Satori peeks in, looking around…

"M~wah!" Ha-chan kisses my neck from behind. "Bra~d…!" Jesus fuck. Must not lewd the fairy.

"What- oh, n-no…" Maribel's currently being groped by Renko, who's lying atop her back.

"Me-Merry…" Renko, please.

I look over at Shikome…

Mima has both her arms bound, but she seems to be resisting by generating stationary orbs of fire where she can. "Back! Back- no~. No~. Off." A new tendril reaffirms itself around her waist, where the last one Mima warded off left off. "Fuck."

That lion girl was standing back defensively, her guard up but unwilling to do anything to the rape ball. I~... don't blame her.

...Oh-oh fuck, my strength buff wore out-

Ha-chan promptly twirls me around like a ragdoll, and lunges for my face- "Mmm…!"

Holy shit holy shit holy shit…! Summary: Ha-chan's lips, my lips. Situation's dire…!

I pull back-

The fairy's hand presses against the back of my head, keeping mine locked in place. Christ…

I jab Fragile Flower into her gut, which doesn't seem to do much. You know what…?

Dropping Fragile Flower, I push her with my unmodified strength-

"Anh…" The kiss is finally broken, letting me get freakin' air. "Br-Brad-"

I push her again, and she actually gets the hell off!

Crouching, I grab Fragile Flower and use my legs to push me away-

Ha-chan pounces on my torso, but it's too late, yo. Aiming my hanger at her, I cast! "Cl-cleanse…!"

Fwo-fwoosh. The holy magic runs up her from, the white swooshes running along her limbs.

Ha-chan continues to crawl up my torso, before getting to my face again. "Brad-ku~n…"

Motherfuck. This isn't even magically induced anymore…!

I look in the doorway, and still see Satori there. Are you-... are you just watching? When I get outta this-

Ha-chan gives me a more innocent kiss this time. Geez…

When I get outta this, Satori, I'm gonna find yo goddamn ass and I'm- maybe I should do something about Shikome…

"St-stop, Renko~..." Maribel weakly protests as her friend rolls her over.

"I love you, Merry!" Renko reaffirms the premise.

Aiming Fragile Flower at her, I break the kiss with Ha-chan. "Cl-cleanse…"

Fwo-fwoosh. The magic runs up Renko's form, too, cleansing her freakin' sins…

...Once it's done, Renko just rolls onto her back and off of Maribel. "Ha~h…"

Okay…

"C'mo~n…" Ha-chan gets in my face again. "Kissing feels good…"

"Ah- hold on…" I put my fairy on pause, yo. She's sensible now, at least!

Aiming my hanger at Shikome, I cast the good spell again. "Cleanse."

Fwo-fwoosh. White energy swooshes around on Shikome's form, and occasionally through her tendrils.

All them tendrils just stop.

...Mima burns through a few, makin' herself free. "Hah! Fuck yeah! Eat it!" Grinning, she gives the rape ball a middle finger as she drifts back… "Some Makai shit right there."

Rumia was cautiously drifting outside of the room for awhile, now…

All the writhing and idle tendrils freeze up.

"Nnh…!?" The belly dancer's still makin' noise.

"You…" I hear Shikome speak words! "Fucking…" Oh, shit, that- "Harlot!"

Cr-crack! A tendril roars from the dancer's mouth-

Crack-rii~p! A cluster of five more tendrils erupt out of the belly dancer's stomach in one big spike.

Shi-shi-shink! Tendrils stick out all along the dancer's body like freakin' needles, including out of weird places like her legs. Holy fucking-

Cr-crack! Crack- krik, krik…

Healthy noises.

Rhii~p! A flourishing mass of tendrils erupts from the dancer, her entire body cleaved into multiple parts and left to tumble about.

I respond to the shower of red liquid and tendrils quite aptly, I'd like to think. "Huoaaaa~h!"

Ha-chan screams at the sight, too. "Kyaaa~h!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

That was a fucking riot.

"Cleanse." I held my hanger over Renko again. "Cleanse." I passed by Maribel again, too. "Cleanse." Ha-chan for good measure, and- "Cleanse." -there, cleaned myself up. Our aphrodisiac soaked clothes keep making us horny again, so I have to keep fixing us up.

...I look over at Shikome- "Cleanse." -and purify her again before something weird happens. Her clothes are soaked in all kinds of shit, but now they are also soaked in aphrodisiac.

She's just got her arms folded, eyes narrow but not looking at me in particular.

I look over at Satori expectantly.

Satori's got a guilty look on her face. "...I know. I shouldn't have let this happen. This is my fault."

I hold a hand up, but before I can say anything, a friend does.

"Why do you have a, like…" Maribel holds her arms up in disbelief! "Belly dancer pet? I-I mean, she's dead now, but…"

"I didn't own her." Satori states. "I have no idea how she got here."

Maribel doesn't seem to buy that. "Oh, yeah? What about… her?" She points over at Mima.

"I dunno how I got here." Mima confesses. "I was aboveground last time I checked. I went around the wrong tree and then I was getting raped by a tentacle monster. Satori, the hell you running down here?"

Satori just sighs. "...There's one individual here who can easily simplify the explanation process."

Ha-chan gets near me again, and latches onto my arm. If she tries molesting me again, I'll be fine with it, if only because there should be minimal chance of a freakin' orgy that we might regret breaking out.

Looking over at Matt, Satori points a finger at him. "He carries a pair of scissors that causes him to randomly encounter enemies from any biome."

At first, Maribel furrows her brows, but after she locks her gaze on Matt, she does a single, slow nod. "Ooh."

"When'd he get here!?" She suddenly became energetic, pointing at him too! "Wha- how!?"

Matt slid his hands into his pockets. "...I exercise my right to a fair and speedy trial."

"Nevermind." Renko shook her head. "...I'm still kinda peeved about the interruptions, but I guess him suddenly showing up is a good excuse."

Yeah. Still…

I lock eyes with Satori. "Why in the name 'a sweet baby Jesus, did you just stand there?"

She uncomfortably grabbed her right arm with her left, and fidgeted. "That is entirely my fault. I have no excuse."

…Oof. I kinda feel bad for pressin' on that, now…!

"Indeed." Matt presses. "So why did you, when it would have been beneficial to do otherwise?"

Maribel turned to him, before rolling her eyes. "She was probably just frazzled… especially after that girl got ripped to pieces and had her blood scattered across the room..."

...Renko glanced over at Shikome, but said nothing.

"It's entirely a problem of my own design." Satori does a little bow. "I recognize this, but cannot reveal the problem. I apologize."

I wave it off. "Aah, you probably would've saved us before we fucked each other. Right, yo?"

Satori blinks. "...Yeah."

...Oh. Hell, if you can read my mind, why'd you show hesitation? Oh, well. Getting raped by Maribel and Renko wouldn't have been the worst ending, but avoiding it was pretty slick on my part, yo.

...Maribel exhaled, her cheeks growing warmer. "I'm getting hot, again. Help."

I raise my hanger. "Cleanse." Maribel heale~d…

Satori raises her hand to help me out. "Purify."

A plus sign shaped yellow sigil blooms under us-

Fwoo~m! Golden swooshes travel across all our forms, cleansing our statuses all at once. Yo ho ho!

Rumia drifts by Shikome idly, only for Shikome to reach out and glomp her to herself. "Oof…!"

"In my honest opinion," Mima spoke up, "you kids shoulda just had sex. That aphrodisiac stuff actually does a good job at additional tries, yeah?"

...And freakin'-

"How'd you know?" Maribel smirks at her. "You ever try it before?"

"Oh? Yeah." Mima confesses. "Never actually seen an apsara in person before, but their water's pretty sexy stuff. You kids shoulda just jumped on each other when ya had the chance."

Freakin'...

...Ha-chan gives me a random peck on the cheek. Is she just going to keep kissing me from now on…? That's… not bad.

"Well..." Sighing, Maribel looks down at herself. "Now I'm all wet with this stuff… and I saw someone die."

Renko snorts. "You say that, but we didn't see the pool of blood and stuff until after the fact."

Maribel gives her a dry look. "Yeah, that's a lot better."

Apsara's the name of the species, huh? I'll… keep that in mind!

Anyway, yeah, this one got freakin' annihilated, though. Nothing but rubble! It was still kinda a shock to me 'cause I'd never seen people parts that close before son. Nor quite so disjointed! Wet girls kinda make up for it, though.

I've also since recollected all my equip items and that Panacea and stuff.

"Should I clean you all off?" Satori proposes.

Maribel looks like she's about to object, but curiosity gets the best of her. "...How're you gonna do that?"

Fwi~sh! Barely luminescent barriers flash to life at the ends of the hallway, and at the door into the room. Then-

Fwuu~sh! The segment is immediately filled with water! I hold my breath as it rises with stupid speed!

…Holy shit! My eyes are shut, yo. Shut. Freakin'-

Fwoo~sh. The water all poured out of somewhere really quickly.

"Ha~h…" I take a breath once I'm free! Also- freakin'... water in my face! Aah!

"...That works." Maribel parts her hair from her eyes.

Renko crouches to retrieve her now waterlogged hat from the floor. "...That just kinda happened."

Oof…

As Satori begins walking, the cheap barriers she threw up flicker out of existence. "I believe I know how to make it up to you all. Follow me."

Idly, Maribel and Renko begin to follow behind her. Matt shrugs and moves behind her as well, prompting Shikome to move after a delay.

As I pass the room to move after them, I look in to see the tubby lion from earlier mopping up the remains of the freakin' crush yo.

Mima floats down out of the ceiling next to me, apparently having ducked out when I wasn't looking… or perhaps while I was getting soaked. "Wow. This place has a lot of just rock."

"It is a temple, or palace. Freakin'..." What's the difference anyway, yo?

Mima rolls her eyes. "No shit. Nah, this sprawling stone and mineral complex is obviously a department store."

...This water does help keep me cool though, yo.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We're now in the midst of some big room with a blue carpeted floor, after moving down a couple hallways and a staircase. This place has more stairs than just in the lobby...!

Big deposit box-esque devices line the walls. This must be some kinda storage room…

Cla-cla-clank! Three boxes slammed open, from three different walls. From them, some gems began floating out…

"Here." Satori lays some colored gems out on the table before us. "I have an abundance of jewels, as it is. Please, take one, the each of you."

Immediately, Matt begins to step forward-

"Except for you and your… friend." Satori gives Shikome a focused stare.

Mima begins to float forward-

"You're not even supposed to be here." Satori tiredly addresses the spirit.

"No, fuck you." Mima continues to float for the gems. "I'm here so I'm taking something home."

At that, Satori folded her arms. "...Tell me something."

Mima was looking over the selection of gems idly. "Sure."

"Who is your greatest enemy?" Satori asked of her.

...Mima rose a brow, before picking up a ruby. "The hell's it ta you? Or are you gonna start some kinda stupid villain rant? 'Cause I know all about stupid villain rants." Yeah, you would know, wouldn't you…?

...At that, Satori nodded. Then, she darted back! "Youkai Buster!" Three ofuda slid out from her dress sleeves!

Mima jerked her head back! "What the fuck!?"

Woosh! Satori sent the three ofuda flying forward in straight, trail-accented lines towards Mima-

Mima spun out of the way, casting the ruby onto the table for some reason. Staring at Satori in disbelief, she began drifting to the side…

"I could show you some of her spell cards, too." Satori proposed. "Or would you like to do things quietly?"

...Mima promptly began grinning. "So the things they said 'bout you were true, then. Real shame you can't do shit on your own, though."

...Holding up her arm, Satori casts another thing. "Azure."

Fwoom. A pad of pastel blue magic appears under Mima, and flares up.

Mima smirks, not at all affected by the magic. "Sorry, baby. Silence resistance kicks ass."

While the two argue and stuff, Maribel and Renko progress to the table of gems, as well as Matt. Honh, honh…

Stepping up to the table myself, I examine the plethora of colors…

Ha-chan parts from my arm and picks up a topaz. "This one's really pretty…!"

Matt ends up swiping a black jewel before I can really look at it. Yeah, that'd figure, wouldn't it?

Picking up a brown one, I nod at it. "It's fluffy…"

...Looking over at the girls, I see Maribel looking at a lavender one, and Renko looking at a deeper purple.

Hmm. Brown gem, or cyan gem? It's obvious that brown'll help me with rocky earth stuff… or maybe I should be thinking about that green gem. The green one's probably more dynamic… or I could double down on ice even more. I dunno, I wanna see if I can get a better Gaia Seed spell. Making enemies tired's cool shit, yo, cool shit.

Putting the brown gem down, I pick up the green one. Hoh.

...Looking over at Shikome, I see she's just watching us idly, still looking not very happy. Rumia's looking around curiously quietly in her arms, but she seems fluffy.

Looking up, I see Satori's outfit has curiously changed tints to more resemble Mima's. "I would appreciate it if you didn't-"

"You said you had plenty!" Mima objects! "Like- a ruby. Will you let me take a ruby? Do I need to go mine out a person-sized vein of ruby before you let me take rubies or something?"

...Satori sighs. "Fine. You may take a ruby."

"...Thank you." Nodding, Mima floats forward and claims the ruby. Then, she holds it up in Satori's face. "You see this? My ruby now. My ruby."

...Satori seems to be trying to contain her amusement at that action.

"I think this makes up for it." Maribel nods at her lavender gem. "This probably goes for a lot on the outside, so I think this went well."

...Stepping back from the table, Renko grins. "You're a sellout, Merry."

"It's not like I have to ask for my virginity back or anything." Maribel counters, grinning back at her. "You were pretty frisky, though."

"Shut up." Renko looks over at Matt, before letting the situation go to gaze at her jewel. "...But, yeah, I'd say this was worth losing half a night of sleep and almost raping each other."

I was he who saved the day, yo! Ho ho~!

"There's an open room I can send you all to." Satori informs us. "...I'll have to pull a few strings, but it'll be fine."

"Cool." Mima starts floating into the floor. "I'm gonna go start trouble." A~nd she's gone.

...Satori just blinks at the floor where Mima left.

A pink light appears before me!

...Ha-chan hesitantly moves to hug it, and phases right through it. The light starts to move towards the door out of the room.

"As always, that light will take you where you need to go." Satori informs us. "...I'll make sure Orin doesn't leave without you tomorrow."

"Cool, yo." I start strutting after the light…

"I must collapse." Matt moves with me to go after the light. "This day has come to an end." Hoh…

"If we get almost raped again, I'm making you drink that horny water." Maribel threatens Satori!

"...Sure." Satori's fine with this. Wahaha!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

This is indeed a big room! It has a myriad of western style beds and cat beds… I think we musta freakin' commandeered this room from some cats or something.

Soft yellow light beams down from the ceiling as we all find some beds-

Matt immediately becomes one with one of the few western beds.

...Then, he props himself onto his arms, since he got onto it via bellyflop. "This bed is still warm."

Fairly tired myself, I move over and flop onto the other one of three western beds.

Maribel walks over to it and gently begins pushing me off. "I'm not taking a kitty bed…" No~.

...I thud softly against the floor, because Maribel succeeds. Promptly, she claims the bed…

Getting back up, I see Renko's claimed the other bed. You'd think Renko and Maribel could just freakin' double up… these ain't terribly small beds, either! Unlike the other guest room, these beds are like, king-sized!

...And so are the cat beds, holy shit. Bi~g!

Oh man, yo. Aside from the absence of pillows, Merry and Renko are missin' out yo. Running towards the central cat bed, I dive onto it-

Oof. Bellyflop, yo…

I see Shikome jump up onto the other deluxe cat bed, Rumia still in her arms. After standing atop it for a moment, Shikome just flops backwards.

Ha-chan crawls up next to me. "Hello…!"

"Hi." I turn to her.

...

She bumps against my flank in an attempt to tip me over, but I don't!

I bump her back, and she tips over. Ho ho ho!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Oof- what- what the frik. Something just bamboozled me…

Oh, well. Maybe if I sleep it'll- ow, nope. It's stickin' around…

"Nn~gh…" I express my rage, yo.

Blinking my eyes open, I look around. Ha-chan's currently hugging me, and we're lyin' side by side, except Ha-chan's still conked.

Idly, I check and make sure my bag is still there, and it is. Honh…

"Get up." Maribel's throwing somethings at me. "Lazy bum."

I raise my hand into the air! "Aa~nh. Freak, i~n…"

Ha-chan yawns, son. "Maa~u…" Chemical breath! I'm a bit used to it by now, though. Honh. Still, yo… I needta ask Eirin for some breath sweeteners.

Sitting up, I notice half of the roof has apparently been mined out into the rock above. What.

...Oh, Maribel's tossing popcorn at me. Friend...

After another popcorn piece beans me in the head, I start to rise. "I'm up, yo, I'm up…"

Clambering outta the big cat bed, I stumble around a bit. "So, uh… what happened to the roof?"

Maribel gestures forward, promptin' me ta look ahead…

Matt's standing at the door with his arms folded, Satori in the doorway. Shikome's standing next to him with Rumia in her arms, some kinda staticy ring around her…

"It's interesting." Satori points how how interesting something is…! "Your thoughts are of such a jumbled level that I cannot read them." She seems ta be speakin' ta Shikome over there… "Although, I can hear pieces."

Shikome doesn't respond, instead idly attempting to walk forward while rotating in place, only for the static ring to keep her still.

...Then, Satori looks over at Matt. "Who is she?"

...He doesn't audibly respond.

Renko munches on some of her own popcorn. "I didn't realize how fitting this'd be when I got it…"

...For awhile, things are just quiet. Good for wakin' up, yo…

...Since Maribel is near the deluxe cat bed, I reach my hand in and take some of her popcorn.

She pouts. "He~y."

After Matt and Satori have their stare off, Satori sighs. "I suppose it doesn't matter to me. Even so…"

She points up at the roof. "She tried to tear apart the roof. I also find her being in direct relation to the Saigyou more than a little worrying."

Yeah, about what I expected. I mean, Saigyou's kinda a big name, but death lolis are death lolis, dude.

...Matt speaks to her with his mind, dude. Oof.

Shikome attempts to jump to get out of the bind she's in, only to end up suspended in the air briefly before being allowed to land. It's like she's making the jumping motions but not going up, which is kinda cuddly!

"Do many other people know of this?" Satori stares at Shikome, but doesn't approach. "...Not that it's my business, of course."

...Matt exists.

Man, I need some water. Oh ho ho ho…

"I see." Nodding, Satori folds her arms. "...If she's really withholding that information, I don't think it's my place to do anything."

With that, Satori turns around and begins leaving. "...Just don't mine out my roof again to make a place fit for you."

...Shikome probably would've folded her arms if she didn't have a snug Rumia. The darkness youkai was somehow still asleep, too.

After Satori was gone for some seconds, the bind ring around Shikome died, allowing her to move free.

That went better than I anticipated!

"Huh." Renko nods at that, walking around aimlessly a bit. "That went better than I expected."

What time even is it? Help, no.

"It's too late for this shit." Matt shakes his head, moving back for his bed…

"But it's morning." Renko objects from our peanut gallery.

...Ignoring her, Matt goes to flop onto the bed.

A pink orb lights up in the air before us. Ho ho!

It drifts out the door, moving through Shikome to do so. She continues to stand in the way of the door...

"Should we~...?" Maribel is about as equally unsure whether or not we should bypass the murder loli. I mean, she looks soft… although her kimono's like brown.

...Ha-chan springs off the bed! "I will clear the way!" Woah no.

Strutting forward, Ha-chan casually approaches Shikome…

...Shikome turns to her once she approaches.

"Hello!" Ha-chan greets her!

Shikome stares ahead at the open door again. Rumia shifts a little, which immediately draws her attention!

With that, Ha-chan walks past her, and makes it out the door. My fairy friend happens to have more balls than the three of us combined…!

...

That's it, yo, I gotta get this ball rollin'.

Jogging over to Matt's bed, I run in place! "Get up up up, son! It's world war noobs!"

...He's still dead, dude.

Stepping back, I raise my hand into the air… and cast it down.

Poof. A crusty pillow lands on his bed, but only near his face. Freakin'... I'm gonna bury him, yo!

Raising my hand again… I cast it back down-

Poof. Hoohehehe! That makes two, son.

"Okay." Renko is vain about my strategy.

"He's gonna make burgers out of you." Maribel annotates from the sidelines. Aah, let him, yo. If I die, dude, I die.

Raising my arm again, I cast down another crusty pillow onto this world!

Poof. Three's a crowd, son.

Alright, this time I'll just bomb his face, 'cause this is takin' awhile to bury him. Raise hand…! Focus on making a floofy pillow, a~nd toss!

Poof. This pillow lands on his face.

Instantly, he starts flailing his limbs, the other pillows getting flung off of him. Wahaha!

In an effort to look innocent, I move next to the closest girl and half-face her.

Springing out of the bed, Matt looks over at me, well aware of what I've done. Wahohoh!

"...Son." He calls me out, yo.

"Yo ho ho~!" I turn away from the girls to face him! "What's goin' on, man? Need more pillows, man? Man?" Man, man.

...Givin' me a stare, he shakes his head and continues towards the door. Mission success, son!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

After everything was said and done, by which I mean walking to the front of the manor while trailing behind Matt and his doom loli, we arrived at the front lobby!

Orin's here! So is her wheelbarrow…!

"Cat." Matt notices she's a cat friend.

"She's snug." I ensure him.

"...How're there more of you?" Orin furrowed her brows. "Ah, it'll be fine." That's gonna be a cuddly wheelbarrow ride…

"Where've you been?" Maribel questioned Orin. "I didn't see you around the whole time we were here."

Orin giggled. "Hehe. Well, y'know… it'sa big palace!" ...She's not wrong! "You all ready ta go, kids?"

"Yeah." Maribel nods. "I'd like to see sunlight again." Silence of the daylight, yo.

"Mmm." Renko agrees with that. "That was pretty fun, minus the whole almost getting raped thing."

Orin blinked. "What happened now?"

"Nothing important." With that, Renko moved towards the wheelbarrow, and began to climb in. Yeah, yo, nothing important.

Snorting, Orin nods it off. "Okay…!"

Maribel climbs in next, throwing herself into the wheelbarrow before further readjusting herself. "Hngh…"

I hop in next! A~nd, hup!

Thu-thud. I'm in, yo. Oof…

"Nice job." Maribel gazes at me as I start to readjust myself to actually be in sitting posture. "You're scrawny enough to fit between my legs, right?"

Son, don't say things like that, they're bad for my hormones. "Ahah, yeah, yo." Especially where last night is concerned! Aaa~h, aaa~h!

...Oh, Ha-chan is trying to slip in between me and Maribel. Oh, shit...

Matt gets in next, while me and Ha-chan are trying to reposition ourselves. This has quickly become a clusterfuck!

Despite my frazzlation, we get in proper order quickly enough. Matt's at the front, yo! I'm behind him, Ha-chan's behind me, then Maribel, then Renko.

...Shikome's by the wheelbarrow, opting not to get inside through her inaction.

"You gettin' in?" Orin looks over at her.

...Shikome glances at her after a delay, and shakes her head.

...After scanning our reactions, Orin shrugs. "Alright. No goin' back, now!"

Cli-click. The cart starts moving, yo…

Shikome does a half-jog to keep up with the cart's initial speed.

Tho-thoom! The double doors open for us on their own as Orin's cart presses forward. As we move forward, I look around.

I see the fluffle stand as we depart, as well as the front face of the palace. Hoh hoh… off we go, yo!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Yo where the fuck my uber driver taking me? There's skeletons and shit, and ghosts! And rocky plains!

...Without Yuugi bein' waitin' there for us, we've gotta go around the long ass way, yo.

"Huoo~h…" Oh, yeah, stuff comes outta freakin' nowhere to try and shit on us occasionally. Ghosty black things with transparent skin and scythe arms, and stuff… like the one up to our cart on the right!

Ruby red danmaku comes from one of Orin's raised legs, mowing down a nearby ghostie whoastie.

"Hooauua~...!" It died. Dissipated into mist and stuff. Not very strong ghosties…

We're moving pretty fast, but u~h…

Shikome's sandals tap loudly against the rock of Old Hell's plains as she runs alongside the noisy cart.

"Where'd ya want me ta dump ya on the surface, anyway?" Orin asks us a question!

Ooh, ooh, ooh! My friends start to speak but screw it! "Scarlet mansion! Devil scarlet! Mansion devil!"

...I got no idea who's giving me evil glares! I think I talked over Renko and Matt, though.

"Sure!" Orin yelled over the noise! "I'll dump ya right outside the gate!"

Wahaha~! I wanna stop there to throw Merry and Renko at the evil mirror so we can fuck up some clone people. I feel like that'll be a good time, especially since we survived that freakin' apsara shit, and we got those upgrade items. Yo ho ho~.

"Howaoah!" A ghost with piercin' blue eyes whirls up to the left side of the cart!

Shink! A tendril erupts from the back of Shikome's neck, and shishkebobs it.

"Huuwaoo~h…" It dissipates into black mist, returning to the ambient mana of the underground cavern.

S'gonna be awhile until we get anywhere! I gotta feeling this ride's gonna be a bit longer than the first ride. Pop open some cheez its, yo… it's the long haul.

Maribel starts looking around. "I spy~..."

Ha-chan speaks up! "Ooh, ooh, I'm good at this game!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We're aboveground, now. Ma~n, now I know how truck drivers feel… except I'm not driving. Jeez, Orin must really freakin' like long walks to not mind this shit…!

"I spy~..." Maribel scans the forest as we slowly move through it. "...Something green."

"Eat my hat, Merry." Renko has had enough of I-Spy for forever.

"Okay." Reaching over, Maribel starts tugging at Renko's hat.

"Hey, hey…" Renko gently holds onto it.

"...Nothing's green." Ha-chan states, half-dead from being seated for so long. "Auu~..."

Matt seems to be surviving, yo. He's hangin' in there!

I just realized, Orin'll want five grand after this. I should get that money ready once the mansion's in sight… I mean, it's technically in sight right now, but you can see that clock tower from almost anywhere in Gensokyo as long as you're not buried in walls or trees…

...After a moment, we start rolling up a minor incline, still in the midst of some trees.

"Almost there, kids." Orin informs us of our stop. "Hope ya didn't lose too many brain cells on the way there."

"We are now brain dead." Matt slightly shifts his posture.

Ho~h, man. I cannot wait to get outta this bloody cart, son. Start a new life, yo.

Oh, hey!

We're almost at the gate! Yo~!

Reaching into my pocket, I draw the money…

"Ye~s!" Maribel recognizes it! "We're almost off this cart!"

"Oh, thank goodness…" Renko looks about ready ta jump off right now.

Looking off the side of the cart, I see Shikome still tailing along our side, although now she looks a good margin more winded than when we first started. Wahaha!

...After just another minute of mobility-

Cre-creak. The cart stops.

Maribel stands up, and jumps right off. "Yea~h!"

Renko gets up and almost eats shit throwing herself off the cart. "Wo-woah…!"

Ha-chan just springs into the air. "Woohoo~!"

...I allow myself to slide back into the spot previously occupied by the three girls. Oo~h, fuck yeah. Leg articulation, baby.

Matt half-stands, and clumsily gets outta the cart, his legs about as freakin' blown as mine after sitting for so long. Eeu~gh…

And now, I flop outta the cart.

Thud. Oof.

...I get up to Orin standing before me, her hand open.

I grin. "Aight, yo, I gotcha coin ri~ght hea." I take out the yen and place it in her hand.

"Thank ya very much!" Pocketing it, Orin turns the cart around and starts steering it off…

...Shikome and Matt idly watch it leave, while the girls've all bound towards the gate.

Meiling's there, eyebrows raised. "Where'd you all come from all of a sudden…?"

"Yo~!" I yell over at her! "We're bats outta hell, yo! We've come to stare into your asshole."

...Meiling furrows her brows, nodding. "Okay."

Matt's got his mask back on, strutting up behind me. "Hi, we're back too."

Meiling double takes at him. "What…? Already? It's only been a couple days, you know."

I move over to the fluffle stand, since it makes a good table. "Yo, yo, yo. Let's go over here and upgrade our stuff with those gems we got!"

"ow oof my bones" The fluffle complains about bone problems to us, for some reason. Freakin'... fluffles don't have bones, yo. They're boneless…!

...I just shake my head at it. "You~ freakin'..."

Maribel and Renko step up beside me, as does Matt! Aw, well-rounded party, yo.

Taking out Hard Winter, I place it down on the counter.

"What're we doing, now…?" Maribel looks down at Hard Winter vainly.

"Upgradin', yo." I grin at her. "You know them gems we get from- got from Satori?" Had to retrace my words!

She blinks. "...Yeah."

I take out my green gem, and attach it inside of one of the interior slots of Hard Winter-

Fwi~sh! It's attached! Yo~.

I hold up Hard Winter with vigor! "Weapon upgrade complete!"

"...What?" Maribel blinks.

"That… shouldn't work." Renko comments drolly.

Glancing at her friend, Merry grins. "The first time I saw that, I was just as surprised." Shaking her head, she takes out her lavender gem. "...What would I even put this on?"

Well, you've got all of two weapons. One's a syphon machine, the other's a not-dying-machine. Honestly, if we're gonna tackle shit from the mirror, I want you to pour stuff into the not-dyin'-machine. "Try puttin' it on Porcelain Mirror, yo."

"...Alright." Nodding, Maribel brings the lavender gem towards one of the interior bits of her boxy mirror hanger.

Fwi~sh! Renko's already attached her deep purple stone to a part of her scissors. "This makes no sense."

Right? "Fluffle bullshit, yo, fluffle bullshit." Actually, I don't know if they got their weapons from the fluff stuffs or not…

Renko confirms my fears. "But we didn't get our-"

Fwi~sh! Matt upgrades a weapon of his, too-

Fwi~sh! ...Twice. Wat.

...I look over at his scissors. Aren't those the fire ones? Hoh.

Fwi~sh! Maribel upgraded Porcelain Mirror. Aw, yo…

You wanna know the best part about all 'a this?

I look over at the fluffle. "Yo, 'ow oof my bones', gimme an appraisal on this." I gesture down to Hard Winter.

The fluffle gazes at me gently. "Hard Winter! earth and ice elemental weapon. able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition! strikes are chargeable. allows the user to self-cast Strength Up; it cannot stack. allows casting of Gaia Seed, Gaia Bloom! allows the user to cast Tundra and Tremor! allows the user to cast Ice Shard! extends combo length by one. allows the user to jump out of combos smoothly. when jumping, the user leaves aesthetic frost in their wake"

...Dayum, yo. Gaia Bloom? Also, when the hell did I pick up Ice Shard? The fuck's a Tremor? Dude!

...Maribel and Renko just give me skeptical stares, before Merry poses her own question. "What's mine do?"

The fluffle turns to her. "Porcelain Mirror! reflects small projectiles on impact. allows the user to cast Reflect. may cast Reflect with certain skills. may make targets of physical attacks tired. allows the user to cast single-target Sleep!"

...Maribel nods at that. "That's pretty good. I better be able to cast it on myself..." Honh.

Renko points at her scissors. "What's new with mine?"

The fluffle begins to describe her weapon of choice. "Counterweight! every enemy on the field increases combo length by one. every enemy on the field increases jump height and defense by point three times, starting at a base of one when one or no enemies are present. fifty percent space resistance! one hundred percent shoe glue resistance, fifty percent resistance to other space magic. when equipped with no enemies present, shoe glues the user and randomly self-casts single target zero gravity. may inflict shoe glue status on enemies."

Renko nods. "Huh. Alright, that's pretty cool…"

She picks it back up- "Oh, uhm…" -and abruptly begins floating backwards into the air, pushed off by the desk and her own legs. "Help."

I grab Renko's legs and tug her back towards the ground. Once she's back down, I grab her shoulders…

….Then, she puts away the scissors. "Thanks. I'm good, now."

Freakin' zero gravity, yo. The best equipment effect.

"What kind of trainwreck are these, now?" Matt checks on what his scissors do, now.

The fluffle looks down at the scissors, its smile obscured. "Shadow Hell Scissors! fire elemental weapon that ignites with every swing. boosts the power of fire spells! forty percent fire resistance, reduced discomfort near fire. allows the user to cast Fire, and Hellfire! allows the user to cast Dark Fire, Dark Fira!"

Ho~h, boy. Matt's got his hands on some fire magic, now. We've only delayed the inevitable, folks. Show's all over, now! All over!

With our new weapons stowed away, we walk up to Meiling...

She's got her arms folded. "...I don't think-"

"Hey!" Ha-chan fluffs up! "These are my friends."

Meiling sighs, moving to open the gate. "Alright."

The gate creaks open…!

Ha-chan marches in first, and the other five of us march behind her. Ho ho ho, yo. It's time to find that mirror, 'n' get inta some trouble…!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

So far, there's been scattered fairy presence in these scarlet halls…

The freakin' six of us- seven if you count the currently nappin' Rumia- romp down the hall, Ha-chan and me powerwalkin' ahead of everyone else…

Ha-chan's still got that topaz on her. I'm not gonna ask for it, 'cause what the hell am I gonna use an electric upgrade for? Hmm. Million Bucks, maybe…

Fwoom. Matt's having a pretty shitty day, though. Apparently Remilia's got some debuff shit with his name on it…

"Ugh…" Stumbling forward, he groans. "Great…" He's currently all wet, silenced, probably syphoned, maybe weakened, and like… yeah. Not a good day!

Coming to the end of the hall, there's an only right way turn. First time I've encountered a corner turn in awhile…

We round the corner-

It's Remilia's room! Aw… we didn't even go upstairs, but we're here.

"Ho ho ho…!" Pumped, I run up to the door! "Let's kick some a~ss!"

"What're we doing again…?" Maribel's not sure what we're up to!

"Stretching our legs..." Renko gives her best guess. "This mansion's pretty cool, though."

Getting to the door, I grab onto it and pull- oh. Heavy shit…!

"Help…!" Me can't pull no no! Oo~h!

Snorting, Maribel grabs onto me and tugs…

...Once that doesn't get many places, Renko helps, too.

The door starts to creak open…!

Shikome reaches for the opposing double door, and swings it open casually despite holding Rumia in her other arm.

...We just stare at her. Freakin'...!

Inside… the main throne is empty. Remilia's not here. Hu~h.

There's abandoned rope on the pillars, for some weird reason. There's also this stout fairy maid standing next to the throne, dusting it deliberately…

"Yo~." I call out, walking into the room. "What is up, man?"

The small blonde fairy girl freezes up, turning to me.

"Where's the poofy one, yo?" I call out to her from across the room. "Me and this mirror got some unfinished business ta settle, ya see."

...The maid brings her hands to her flat chest and she just kinda fluffs up. Aww.

...I let my arms ragdoll. "Where's Remilia, yo? Vampire girl. The big small one!"

"Ah…" She looks away, frazzled. That voice is a little deeper than I anticipated!

Walking up to her casually, I look around the throne room. No~t a sou~l…

"Maybe they're not here, today?" Maribel wonders aloud, wandering into the open space with me.

"Is she hiding or something?" Matt questions. Yeah, yo. Remilia's scared 'a what we're gonna do to her mirror!

I reach the fairy maid.

"Uhm…" She looks up at me. She's got blue eyes, yo. "I-I… am not sure if I have clearance to re-reveal such information to you…"

...Something's really fucking off about that sentence, but I can't put my finger on it. I feel like it's right there, too. "Just tell us, yo. We're friends. Like…" Turning, I gesture to Shikome. "See? We brought her a fellow evil doom loli."

The maid seems to tense up upon seeing Shikome, holding her hands to her mouth…

Looking over at the maid, I pat her shoulder. "See~, yo? Nothing to-"

Her wing falls off.

...It floats to the floor like a piece of cardboard.

Walking around the now blushing maid, I see that the remainin' wing actually is cardboard. Damn well decorated cardboard, but just cardboard. How the hell does the wing transparency thing even work with cardboard?

"N-no one gave you permission to touch!" Clamming up, the stout fairy backs away from me. "I-I don't like it wh-when people touch me!"

Matt begins to step up. Aw…

"This calls for superior persuasion tactics." Matt proposes.

...Stepping up to the maid, he stares down. "If you don't tell us, Shikome will eat you."

"Pl-please…" Eyes tearing up, the fairy maid starts to back up. "No-... no more…"

"Ma~tt." Renko steps up, glaring at him. "I don't think freaking her out even more's going to get anything out of her."

"It's not even a her." Matt monotones. Wat.

...I look at the 'fairy maid' again as she presses herself up against the wall away from us.

...Wait. What? I don't… quite follow yet.

"Do-don't tell them anything!" The maid barks at Matt, her voice hoarse. "I-I… my-my big sisters will get you for your in-insubordination!" Ho~h shit, big word!

Hold on.

Matt shakes his head, vaguely amused. "Damn, Remilia is kinky."

Hold on.

"Yo-you…" Sliding onto her butt, the 'fairy maid' grimaces.

Ha-chan comments on 'her', grinning. "She's so cu~te!"

Son hold on this shit's too much…! I can't do this right now…!

I point at him. "Bro. You~..." I don't even know what to say, yo. What do you say!?

"I-I…" After a vulnerable moment, the child raises onto his legs, and starts running off. "Pl-please don't…!"

...We watch him make his way out of the throne room quickly.

If that's who I think it is, I'm gonna need a fuckin' gallon of kool-aid tonight, man. That shit's just too much, yo…

And then there was a Sakuya sweet Jesus Christ- "Hello."

Maribel jumps. "Wo-woah. Where'd you come from…?"

Sakuya smiles at her. "If you follow me, I'll show you. My mistress has requested you… seven up on the roof." We're a fookin' army, Sakuya. We've come to tear down your mirror!

Renko snorts. "Yeah. Seven of us…"

I raise an arm into the air! "Soldiers of fortune we are, Sakuya! Take us to adventure!"

...After giving me a curious stare, she starts walking. "Right this way."

Fwoom.

...I turn to see what terrible ailment has befallen Matt this time.

He's stuck. Like, he froze before he put his foot down in his next step. Not frozen in ice, just...

Shikome taps him. When he doesn't react, she taps him again.

Whap! She hits him in the hip.

He starts moving again, but seemingly notices us all jump due to our movements. His eyes widen for a moment-

"Uah…!?" He's thrown onto his side abruptly!

Thud! Ho ho. Stop status, yo. That's some scary shit.

"What… what're you doing?" Renko looks back at us, Maribel and her already halfway across the room with Sakuya. "C'mon."

"Mmh…" Matt looks deeply annoyed, yo. I blame all those statuses!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We may've jump cut again, but that hallway walk was pretty short. Whenever Sakuya's at the lead, the halls just bend over backwards and take us to our destination faster than even normal halls could.

At the top of the staircase, we step out onto a platform that leads to an open, large double door. Past it is the sunlight of the once again setting sun- since we probably woke up late and our sleep is now all kind'sa messed up- and some mixed clouds…

Moving out onto the roof, we look around…

"Nice day out." Maribel idly comments as some breeze rolls past us. Yo~. This is good mirror killing weather…

Man, I've got a thing against that mirror, yo.

"It is pretty good out." Renko adds, her gaze resting on Remilia.

Remilia's sitting at a white garden table! She's gazing at us with an expression of vague mystification. "...Where did seven of you come from? I was only expecting one or two of you."

"Honey, I'm ho~me…" Matt moans out over his freakin'... magic AIDS. "I brought the kid, too…"

Shikome steps out from behind him casually, holding Rumia in her arms like a cuddly loaf.

...Then, Shikome licks her lips. Hoh!

Remilia sighs. "What're you two even doing here? You were just here. I told you to come back in a week, and It's only been two days."

"We couldn't help seeing you again." Matt states, trying to not sound like he was slowly dying.

To the left of the garden table… was that damn mirror! It was fuckin' waitin' for me dude! But no~! I brought literally six friends!

...At the moment, the mirror was tilted back on its stand, and some fairy maids were attending to it.

Komi tapped on the front of the mirror. "Namori, are you fucking done yet?"

"It-it's not easy, you know!" Namori actually has a little bite! She's at the top of the mirror, doing some weird ripply shit to the top of it. "This is weird!"

"You're weird!" Komi retorts, tapping the mirror again. "Still no."

Koi walked out from behind the mirror. "Good ne~ws! The stand didn't break!"

"Fucking- I'd know if the stand broke, you stupid…" Komi slowly turned to her stout, orange-haired cohort.

Aw. Mirror maintenance, yo.

As Shikome and Matt slowly tread up to Remilia, she sits up, looking over at the rest of us. "There is a reason I've called you seven here, today. Well, more like the-..." Remilia furrowed her brows. "Brad and Maribel, yes, you are the ones I called here that actually are supposed to be here. The more hands, the merrier, I suppose."

We all walk forward, although Sakuya appears to have freakin'... left us, yo.

Shikome and Matt position themselves at the tea table, to Remilia's brief disdain, before she focuses on us again. "Maribel, go walk up to the mirror. Komi will fill you in."

"Why…?" Maribel props her arms on her hips!

I nudge Merry. "Just do it, yo. I came here to kick that mirror's ass!"

…At that, she rolls her eyes, before stepping forward to the mirror. "Okay."

Renko snorts. "Nice agenda." The mirror slaying agenda…

Once Merry gets to the mirror, Komi turns to her. "Ah, it's what's-your-face. Put your hand in the mirror and do your shit."

Maribel just stares at her. "I'm sorry what."

Ha-chan idly seems to move to meet up with her fairy friends, standing behind Maribel like a freakin' snuggle magnet.

...After a while of seeing the girls just be fluffy, I meander towards the tea table.

Everyone's seated, yo. Shikome's staring at Remilia, and Matt's just existing…

I take the final seat, while Renko walks over to see what her friend's doing…

"Don't act like you don't want us to be here." Matt drowsily grins at Remilia. "You know you do."

Remilia stares at him and Shikome with equal dryness. "Well, I'm excited to see my status ailments are working wonders on you, at least. If only you'd come when my maids were ready to serve you."

"No knives, please…" Matt shakes his head.

Remilia smirks.

...Looking over at me, Remilia addresses the fact I exist. "I take it you're wondering why I called you here, today?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Well," she continues anyway, "a few days ago, that mirror didn't act as I expected it. I tried testing it on those fairies you see there, but nothing came out. I tried testing it on myself but nothing came out. I figured that… Yakumo-lookalike would have some form of capability when it came to borders. If anything's a border-related problem, it's mirrors, or so I'm told."

...I look over at Maribel- her hand's actually in the mirror.

"Just change something." Komi states plainly. "I don't give a fuck."

"Yes, we know…!" Renko stares at the fairy with slight bafflement…!

"That's great." Maribel's got her brows furrowed. "Change something, huh? Fine. I'll change something."

Shikome is as tucked into the table as she can possibly be right now.

Remilia just gives her a curious stare… and then looks over at me. "You're just here for insurance, really. Headcount."

Aw, cool. I brought five other heads that aren't Maribel with me, yo-

Fwoam!

"Woah!?" Maribel is thrown back from the mirror!

Thud! She lands on her bum.

Ooh? I stand up, and round the mirror-...

Wat. It's… stained glass, now. Ooh. In the stained glass is the portrait of a flower. That's cool!

"Aa~h." Lazily, Komi nods at it. "...The fuck did you do?"

Maribel glares at her. "I changed something."

...Koi and Namori come around the sides, and all look into the stained glass mirror. Yo ho ho…

Renko moves to help Maribel up-

Fwi~sh! Light runs across the stained glass surface.

Oo~h.

"You okay, Merry?" Renko uses her arm to help Maribel up, yo.

"Uh huh…" Standing again, Maribel gets beside me and Renko. "So~... am I done with the-"

Fwoa~omp.

Four figures emerge from the stained glass. Just like, freakin' leap out all at once, and the glass just ripples lightly to accent this.

...On the very left is a stout fairy with orange hair done up in pigtails, clad in a pink maid outfit. She's a slightly differently dressed Koi look-alike.

Next to her was a replica of Komi, clad in her traditional black-tinted maid attire. Around her waist was a familiar sack…

To her right was a maid with a bright green tinted maid outfit. She was about as tall as Komi, if not slightly moreso, with long… curly, dishwater blonde hair. She's flat too, with blue eyes and a rather soft face...

She's holding a plant hanger, though. A blue and-... that's Fragile Flower she's holding, albeit slightly more decorated. She's got a tubby green backpack on, too.

...Moving on, there's a blue-dressed Namori look alike to the right of the three, her hands behind her back as she struts alongside the party.

Ha-chan steps up behind me, as do Maribel and Renko, getting a better look at these four.

"Where the fuck…?" Slightly more decorated mirror clone of Koi looks around! "...We're on the roof."

Not-Namori scans us deliberately. "...We're not alone, either."

Not-Komi smirks. "Take a look at this. That looks… like us. Shit."

Would the real Komi please stand up? I mean- Komi steps forward. "...Your colored outfits are gay."

Koi snorts. "I thought you wanted to get us colored outfits for awhile, now…"

"Now that I see them, I think they look gay." Komi decides.

"Right?" Not-Komi grins. "Brittany-chan likes them, though."

...Komi tilts her head. "Who?"

...Not-Komi raises her eyebrows. "What?"

"Whatever." Waving it off, Komi looks at the four with vague annoyance…

Marching forward, Koi points at the three! "We could have a massive orgy!"

"Fuck yeah!" Fake Koi marches forward to shake hands with her! "You're just like me, me!"

Namori is hesitant to do anything, but Fake Namori walks right on up to her like it's no one's business. Yo~... "What's been going on, me?"

...Namori clams up, pushing her arms into her chest. "Uh-uhm… I-I don't know?"

Not-Namori blinks. "...What? No, I mean, where's Brittany-chan?"

Namori is bamboozled. "Who?" Yeah, good question…

...Not-Komi and not-Koi perk up at this, paying attention to the real Namori for some reason.

"What year is it?" Mirror Namori questions, lookin' around.

Mirror Komi folds her arms. "Can't be that long ago. This bitch just said this was like, around the time we wanted these gay outfits."

Bringing a hand to her chin, mirror Namori considered this. "...That'd mean this was the fall. And, if I'm… like this…"

Instantly, mirror Namori leapt back from the however many of us. Let's see… me, Merry, Renko, Ha-chan… seven again! Hoh!

"What do you mean, 'who's Brittany-chan'?" Not-Komi presses, glaring at the actual Komi.

Actual Komi has her arms folded now too! "If I knew, I'd fucking tell you. How about you tell me?" To accent her point, she walks forward towards the other Komi…!

Reachin' into my bag, I pull out my freakin' eye-searing yellow helmet, and start slippin' it on. "Oh boy, oh boy, yo! This should be good, yo…!" I know they're just fairies, but in case karmic retribution rears its ugly head and lets Koi get a good one in on my forehead, I'd like to be prepared.

Stopping inches from the mirror Komi's face, the real Komi holds her arms out. "C'mon, sweetie. If you were really me, you'd-"

Pi~chun!

Hoh, shit that was fast! What happened!?

...In Komi's wake, the fairy dominatrix from beyond the mirror held some kinda black and white plant hanger, fit with a buncha abstract as shit spikes and spokes along the outside. Aw, it's Sharper than Darkness: the remaster. It's got this freakin' eye design in the middle, though. Is it the Soul Edge of plant hangers?

The brown bag on Komi's waist stops flapping, the wind from her lightning fast movement dying down.

Koi flailed her arms. "Woa~h! What-... what happened!?"

"Pathetic." The other Komi smirked at the rest of us. "One hit. Was that it?"

I slide the visor on my sun helmet down, now that I got it on…

Koi props her arms on her hips. "Why'd ya do that, Komi-chan? I-"

Tick. Ti-tick, tick. The other Koi throws an arm repeatedly, flinging orange orbs at the real Koi's feet.

...Koi looks down. "Ah? What's up with-"

The other Koi snaps her fingers-

Boom! Pi~chun!

The orbs all explode at once, releasing dense spheres of orange danmaku, causing all of us to flail back wildly.

"N-no…!" Namori locks up!

"Geez…" Maribel stumbles back, orange orbs pattering off her form. "Ow-ow…"

Renko sighs. "More fighting...?"

...As the orbs clear off the rooftop, I see the real Namori suddenly charge at the other Namori!

Grimacing, the fake Namori twirls back-

Wham! Suddenly, she executes a freakin' ballerina kick that sends Namori flying-

Fwuu~sh! Namori was suddenly launched into the air by a geyser. "Hwa~h…!?"

The fake Namori suddenly began spinning in place really fast-

Fwa~sh! Namori was frozen solid, in a thick chunk of ice above the roof's surface.

...Slowly, it began falling to the floor-

Cra~ck! Namori shattered into a buncha pieces.

...That breeze once again blew across the freakin' rooftop. Oh, boy.

Komi began stepping towards us. Since the real one freakin' blew up, I might as well just call her Komi for now. "...You four." She points her whacky hanger at us.

Maribel has Porcelain Mirror ready. "...Yeah?"

Renko's got Counterweight out, for how much that'll help…

Ha-chan's behind us. Hopefully she doesn't instantly explode…!

Reachin' into my bag, I draw Hard Winter…

Komi's gaze runs along my form, before stopping at that bag. "Brittany?"

Who the frik's Brittany!? "Nah, yo. They call me Brad." Why does this situation feel awkwardly tense…!? Maybe 'cause, freakin'... the fairies just obliterated their counterparts with actually impressive magic.

Komi jerks her head back, and the other maids stare at me in mystification.

Smirking, Komi starts twirling her hanger around on one finger. "How about we make this two for two, then?"

Koi giggles. "You see those girls, too? They're fuckin' cute."

Namori takes a confident posture. "He looks a lot different. Don't just rush him."

...Jesus fuck!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 65

PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Holder of Too Many Titles.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Hard Winter - A earth/ice-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice! Allows the user to cast Ice Shard. Extends combo length by one artificially. Allows the user to jump out out of combos smoothly, and leave frost in their trail.

INVENTORY:

[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…

==o==

WEAPONS:

Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.

Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.

Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!

Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.

Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.

Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...

Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.

Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!

Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.

Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!

Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!

NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.

NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…

==o==

ARMOR:

Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!

Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!

Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!

Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred percent ice resistance, and as such renders me immune to all magical ice damage. Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt me with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides me a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...

Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.

Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! One hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent freezing resistant. Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it. Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.

Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' helmet. Fifty percent blinding resistant! When worn with the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit, it also confers immunity to burning and poison, along with another one hundred percent electricity resistance. Yo…!

Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes! Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.

MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range!

==o==

CONSUMABLES/OTHER:

Forty-one thousand, two hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!

Seven Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…

Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!

Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though…

Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!

WebDings Book about Foreign Juices - Wahaha! This better fetch a price on the market!

Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.

Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!

Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!

PARTY:

London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!

PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.

==o==

Maribel Hearn, the University Student

WEAPON: Porcelain Mirror - A plant hanger made with curiously chrome materials. Reflects small projectiles it hits. Allows the user to cast Reflect. May cast Reflect with certain skills.

INVENTORY:

[Suitcase] - Holds her stuff. Gives five inventory spaces!

Drawings - Her drawing stuff!

Writing Utensils - Crayons, pencils, pens… hoh hoh!

Dreamcatcher - A holy hanger. May cast Talisman Seal on impact. Casts Talisman Seal with certain skills. Boosts the power of holy skills. Grants fifty percent resistance to syphoning and cursing.

Cast-Iron Plant Hanger - A sturdy plant hanger made of solid metal.

Umbrella - It helps stop the dreaded sky water.

[MP Prize Pin] - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range! Uses no inventory space when worn.

[no space remaining]

==o==

Renko Usami, the University Student

WEAPON: Counterweight - Black and gold scissors, with elaborate handles. Every enemy on the field increases combo length by one attack. Every enemy on the field increases jump height and defense by .3x, starting at a base of 1.0x with one enemy. Twenty five percent space resistance granted. User is immune to shoe-glue status when enemies are present. When equipped with no enemies on the field, inflicts shoe-glue status, preventing the user from jumping.

OFFHAND: Umbrella - It helps stop the dreaded sky water.

==o==

INVENTORY:

Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!

Sunfire Scissors - Casts Sunfire Flare on impact. Boosts the power of Sun elemental attacks.

Mega Potion - Causes the whole party to regenerate life.

[MP Prize Pin] - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range! Uses no inventory space when worn.

[no more space remaining]

==o==

Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - A cuddleable fairy who's stalked me for awhile. She's lovable, dude. Healed by electrical damage! Casts tiny bolts of electricity as her attack these days…

PRIMARY WEAPON: Zap!

INVENTORY:

Probably rocks - Yeah.

Winter Mittens - Aww. Keeps hands from freezing.

Winter Coat - Where does she store this when it's not on…?

[unknown space remaining]

==o==

ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:

both this and the author's note for chapter 64(or 80 by ff dot net standards) are being written well after the fact - w -

THIS CHAPTER WAS A RIOT.

freakin'- nearly lewded the merry but DODGED A BULLET and then BLOOD and then-... ho HO HO

"man this story's gettin' WEIRD"

this is why i'm occasionally disheartened that people won't look at it 'cause of the initial bad prose or their own misconceptions but y'know people come as they come and ya can't change disinterest so easy; the only thing you can do is change yourself period and i'm not always about that sorta pandering, i quite like my premises yo

perhaps i should REMASTER some chapters...

that and i still got more people followin' this than i expected so honh - w - i'm just overthinkin' things

man i need to start talking about the chapters more and stop whining about my mental health

this chapter really was a freakin' rollercoaster between like… the crazy ass almost-orgy section, the not-fairies, the droll transit from the underground to the SDM, yo~.

the formalities post-evaded orgy are not as hype as the not-orgy fight itself but i feel like that cooldown is for good reason

i've used orgy more times in these past twelve seconds than i have in the past year

also tons of upgrades right away! the underground's got some good resources yo, and now we can see my guy is definitely MORE THAN HE WAS WHEN HE STARTED

hoh HOH

at some point i should have brad just fight normal fairies again and see how far he's come

...that'll be after these fairies from another dimension kick our asses though . w .

as always, see you all next time!