(in which we fight the long war)

So~, I got… Maribel, Renko, and Ha-chan all stationed behind me. Strength in numbers! Took Ha-chan an idle moment to navigate around behind me, but yeah.

Not-Komi, or just Komi since the real one exploded a few moments ago, sneers at us. "You got that bitchy slut with you, too. No wonder…"

Who? Okay! Whoever that was an insult to, I will make you pay for that!

The sun's still setting, so we got some dusk ta burn, yo. Beautiful orange light accents the probable fighting ahead of us!

Speakin' of things ahead of us, we got Komi, Koi, and Namori… from another dimension! Also, freakin'... Brittany, apparently. That maid girl- who I've just noticed has no wings- with long, curly dishwater blonde hair…

I'm gettin' some weird vibes! She's also just kinda staring at me.

To the right of the mirror the fairies came outta is a garden table. Remilia and Shikome're seated across from one another, while Matt just kinda sits at one of the remaining unoccupied sides of said table.

Thud. Shikome places the snoozing Rumia down on the garden table, tipping over Matt's teacup as she does so.

Before the teacup could shatter on the ground after rolling off the table, it vanished from existence. Sakuya's a freakin' game genie!

Komi's got her edgy spikes-and-spokes-a-lot hanger raised in this precarious looking stance. Like, if you held a sword like that it'd freakin' fall outta your hand. It's a sorta overhead one-handed stance…? A bit much for a hanger that bulky, it's like half her size.

Koi's just kinda looking casual, swinging her arms back and forth!

Fwish! Namori starts spinning like a freakin' top in place, now on one leg. Aw, the deadliest skill…!

"I think we're gonna get mobbed, yo…" I've still got Hard Winter out for my health!

"We've got equal numbers." Maribel casually points out, her hanger ready even if she's not super tense. "They're not that great at fighting, either."

At her words, Komi's expression flares, and she raises her bulky fuck-off hanger into the air. "Show me anguish!"

Fwoo~m! A spike of amber seemingly erupts through her, stretching into the air, accented by a shockwave of wind and ember-esque energy that stretches around her by like ten feet…

"Woah…!" Maribel fluffs up! Yeah, I didn't expect that shit either!

I raise my hanger in case we get freakin' rushed…!

Renko and Ha-chan just kinda stick near us 'cause that attack was intimimadatin'! Was it even an attack or was she-

Immediately afterward, Komi roars through the air towards us with stupid speed-

"Reflect!" Maribel protects us!

Ti~ng! The fairy maid unleashed a freakin' spinning strike as the first attack, a ring of orange splashing out from where she struck the shield. In fact, the barrier didn't even fully stop her blow, it just went around the surface of it.

Komi's hanger was now even larger, ablaze everywhere except the handle with golden, flaming energy-

Ti~ng! She struck the barrier again with an overhead jab, flames licking the exterior of our protective bubble.

Her form seemingly freezes in place-

"Pathetic." She drops down from the air behind us all of a sudden, her previous form fading out after a moment.

Fwam! Her hanger slides around the exterior of the protective bubble, striking the ground and creating another shockwave of flame-

Cr-cr-crack! Shards of ice shatter as they erupt under the underside of our protective barrier.

Holy shit that was a long combo. Every hit looks like it coulda knocked one of us the fuck out, too!

When the hell'd the fairy maids get so powerful!? For what reason is Komi able to teleport around like a jackass? Did they come from the freakin' Gensokyo-times-ten server?

In the meantime, Koi strafed alongside us, and began throwing her arms back and forth for some odd reason…

Oh, she's launching orbs… on the ground, positioned right next to our reflect bubble. They stick where they land, glowing ominously…

Fwa-fwa-fwam! Maribel's barrier shatters, the shards splashing outward and making tiny blasts in the air.

"Uwah!?" Komi is thrown backwards, before her form freezes in the air completely.

Turning to Maribel, I catch her panicking and raisin' her hanger again. "Reflect!" I was just 'bout ta suggest that, too…!

"Gotcha." Komi drops down from the air behind us, again-

Ti~ng! The barrier… has activated. Thank Christ for your bullshit defense magic, Merry…!

I also just noticed that Komi's hanger's back to normal. That fire imbuement must only last for like one combo...

Fwam! She does that downward slash combo finisher again, except this time it just makes a dark splash on the floor. Hoh.

...We're all pretty much cozied up next to Merry and don't wanna do anything! I should start casting some shit in here, but I have no idea how much Reflect eats Maribel's mana…

Oo~h, Namori's spinning by us, now! I'm not sure what exactly she's doing, though.

As she spins, it seems like snowflakes form in the air around her…

KABOOM

TI~NG

...Oh, that's what those orange orbs Koi threw about do. They just explode. Loudly.

By the way, fuck my ears. Ow~. That was some serious shit!

"Aaa~h!" I heard Merry yell even though she's right here, and I don't blame her! Jesus… it didn't even so much as make us vibrate through the barrier Maribel had up, but damn if we couldn't hear that!

Despite their noise, the sticky bombs didn't do much to the floor. Instead, they sent out huge clusters of randomly shaped danmaku bolts in all directions. That later sound was the reflect barrier getting raped by bullets, probably.

You know what- I don't fucking care if it's danmaku or freakin' whatever-the-bomb-element-is, an explosion's an explosion! Get that crap away from me, unless I have full control of it!

Fwo-fwo-fwoo~sh! Water pillars begin erupting under our barrier as Namori spins around us-

Performing a backflip, Komi distances herself before drifting into the air. "What's yours is mine!" ...Y'know, I feel like acrobatics are kinda redundant if you can just fly to begin with.

On the garden table some distance away from the fight, Rumia wiggles a little in her log-like slumber. "Mnmnhmm~n…"

Shikome, who had somehow freakin' worked her way around half the table and magically past Matt's chair, was seated almost next to Remilia now. Remilia's chair was a few feet farther from that table's side than it originally was, too…

After taking a glance at the cuddly Rumia, she glances over at our battle…

Meanwhile, Komi's still drifting in the air! Behind her, dark energy flared up and quickly started to generate a sort of ball around her…

Once she was enveloped completely-

Fwa-fwa-fwam! Maribel's Reflect ran out, the resulting shards hitting no one-

"Reflect!" Maribel once again casts some defense!

The reflective barrier abruptly appeared-

KABOOM

TI~NG

Oh my god. Are we in fucking Normandy?

"Aaau~…" Ha-chan whined, covering her head. I turn to her, my eyebrows raised. How the fuck're we even gonna do this? Like, no seriously how the fuck're we gonna do this? It just occured to me we have like… absolutely no way to deal with this.

Koi very nearly popped her sticky bombs at the right time to instantly nuke us, too. Where the fuck did she learn to make sticky bombs!? Who taught her that!? Why's Komi's moveset some Kingdom Hearts bullshit!? Aaa~h, aaa~h!

"Aww~h…" She whined at us. "No fai~r. Your barrier's stupid."

Freakin'...! "You're stoopid!" I retort from within Maribel's safety bubble, the hair on the back 'a my neck standing up! "Hoo hoo!"

From Komi's ball of darkness, a pitch black copy of Komi roared out, whirling towards our bubble-

Ti~ng! Her pitch black copy of her edgy hanger struck the bubble thrice, before the clone froze in place.

Fwam! Another clone leapt from the dark ball, before seemingly teleporting in front of us and doing that finisher move where she slams her hanger into the ground and makes a dark splash.

Ti~ng! ...Oh, geez, that's just gonna keep happening, isn't it?

"Komi!" Namori slowly spins an arm into the air, purple and white energy running up it.

Once the energy leaves her arm, a splash of some kinda blue liquid falls into Komi's orb. They've got status economy abilities, too? Holy crapoli...

Ti~ng! Komi's really just gonna keep sending out freakin' shadow clones of herself to combo our orb...

Koi's standing closer than before, giving us a smug smile…

I give her the middle finger. "Hi, friend."

She snorts. "You really are Brad, huh? You try my ass out, yet?"

Wat. "Speak words that make sense." I dunno what she means…!

She just tilts her head at me, unsure of what I mean. Freakin'...!

With Hard Winter in hand, I kneel down and jab it into the floor. "Gaia Bloom!"

Fwoo-fwoo-fwoo-fwoom. Like Gaia Seed, it makes that green magical circle that slowly emits earth magic around my enemy… but unlike Gaia Seed, it makes four of them!

They initialize immediately, all causing Koi to stumble around. "Wo-wohwoa~h…"

Ti~ng! Alright, this is getting ridiculous…! All those shadow clones of Komi? They freakin'... persist, so now the orb just has like nine immobile Komi clones hovering around it.

Then-

Fwa~sh! "You're mine!" Komi slides out of her dark orb, dispelling it and roaring towards us-

Ti~ng! The barrier stops her intimidating looking dark jab.

Fwa-fwa-fwam! Maribel's Reflect shatters again, the shards once again splashing outward and exploding.

"Oa~h!" Komi is thrown back into the air. A Shikome tendril seems to travel towards her as she flies back, but by the time it reaches her, her body is already still in the air-

The body dissipates into shade-

"Too slow." Komi drops down onto us- oh shit Reflect Maribel use Reflect-

Fwam!

Pi~chun! Ha-chan just explodes instantly.

"Aahn!?" Renko is launched by the small splash of dark energy that clipped all four of us.

"Ooww~!" Maribel's sent freakin' flying.

I've never been knocked back this far befo~re!

Thud. Holy shit ouch. I landed on the wood roof hard. Holy fu~ck…

Thu-thud. Maribel and Renko let out little whines as they plop against other parts of the roof around me.

Komi seemingly skids on the floor past us, drawing an azure line in the air with her hanger as she slides past us. "There's no escape…!"

Once she stops, the azure line disappears-

Fwoom. A series of alternating chunks of black ice form in the air, kinda-sorta-not really aligned with the line she made.

One second later, they crunch together like a dark set of teeth, before dissipating. That… hit no one. If we were standing that woulda been bad, but u~h… we're not really in standing order at this moment!

I start to sit up, only for Komi to appear over me, holding her hanger pointed at my face. "This is why I own you." Reeling it back, she intends to strike-

Shink! A tendril pierces her stomach. Ah...?

"Ah…" She looks down, gaze hardening- "Oh…!?" Abruptly, she's pulled backwards!

Shikome pulls her towards herself. Once the fairy maid is pulled into grapple range, she just grabs her, flips 'er upside down with her arms, and-

Crack! -shoves the maid into the floor head first.

"Ooauu~h!" Komi lets out a muffled wail, kicking her legs uselessly.

"Ko-Komi-chan!" Both Namori and Brittany call out for the fairy maid. Freakin'... Brittany, you've done nothing this fight. All you did was stand there!

"Shut up! She's sleeping." Shikome quickly reprimands the fairy maids, her expression slightly frowny.

That's about what I expected! I haven't really commented on the fact Shikome seems to be an absurdly powerful death loli… but she is an absurdly powerful death loli and I'd rather not set her off. Freakin'- like… she's the poster child for the kinda youkai the village makes every youkai out to be!

...After a few moments of kicking, Komi lets her legs just dangle in place. Since she's upside down, her panties are exposed, too! Freakin'... black. Who'd 'a thunk it.

Namori starts to spin near that scene, as my party members and I slowly get back up…

"Me- Merry…" Renko makes uncomfortable noises as she starts to sit up. "Are you alright?"

"No." Maribel gasps. "I- I landed on- on my arm…"

"Damn i~t…" Koi struts towards the mines she laid down before Komi launched us, which were now useless since we didn't plan to go near them again.

Once she reaches them, she snaps her fingers-

KABOOM

...The blast sends her flying into the air, somewhere freakin' up high. She just blew up herself.

Namori's spinning slows as she nears Komi and Shikome-

Letting go of Komi and allowing her to just flop over with her head still in the floor, Shikome started stepping towards Namori. Ho~h, shit, yo! Namori's about ta get fucked!

Spinning quicker, Namori starts retreating from Shikome…! Yeah, me too. That moment when super death loli sixty-four starts comin' for your ass.

"How do I-..." Renko's got her Mega Potion out. "Uhm…" Ooh. She seems to be wondering how the magic cast works on the big potion.

"O-ow…" Merry's trying to sit up, but decides not to once she clutches her arm.

...Rollin' over, I start shambling towards the two. Time to show Renko how quick casting a potion works! 'Cause, yeah, I feel like someone hit my back with a freakin' box truck…

As Shikome approaches Namori, the fairy maid stops spinning. "I- I can do this…! Blizzard Sign, Zero Cruncher!" Ooh, Namori's got a spell card now...

Fwa-Fwa~sh! Along her arms, two huge ass icicles began forming, enveloping them completely. Like… these icicles are three times her size!

Fwa-Fwa~sh! Two similar icicles extend into existence in the air behind her, acting as additional 'wings'.

Like this, she begins spinning again, a prospect now ten times more terrifying because of the fact she's got those freakin' icicle arms. The icicles behind her that act akin to wings don't spin with her, though. It's more like they just dangle about menacingly…

Accelerating her spin, she starts gravitating towards Shikome with the intent to slice…!

...After she gets close to a certain point, Shikome does a big leap, soaring over the icicle arms. She's got two tendrils around herself defensively-

Thu~nk. Her rightmost tendril jerks as one of the giant dangling icicles tries to collide with Shikome, only to be deflected.

She precariously lands atop Namori's head, spinning around with her… which must be tricky shit with sandals on.

Bringing her leg up, Shikome stomps down-

Vrrr~! Namori starts freakin' drilling into the roof as Shikome presses down on her.

Vrrr~...

After a few moments, Namori finds herself stuck embedded chest-deep in the roof, before Shikome leaps off of her.

"Aah- uhm, uh…" Frazzled, Namori looks around. "...What happened?" That's some freakin' cartoon shit right there…!

From above, orange orbs start descending upon Shikome's new position, just behind her…

Facin' the blue-haired fairy, the murder loli just gives 'er a frowny glare. Aww.

Namori gives her a sad look back. "Hello…?"

Reaching Renko, I kneel next to her. "Yo, lemme…"

...Unsure, Renko hands the potion over to me. "If you waste it, I'm throwing you off the roof." Aw.

With the Mega Potion in hand, I throw it into the air, where it begins glowing and dissipates.

Splashes of glowing, green liquid promptly descend upon the three of us, before absorbing into our forms.

...Maribel raises her previously injured arm. "Huh."

Relieved, Renko exhales. "I thought you were about to break it or something…"

Hey, yo. "I ain't that stupid…!"

Checkin' around, I see Brittany aiming her hanger in the direction of the nugget conflict.

...Looking over there, I see there's a red, circular magic pad next to where Komi's stuck in the roof.

...Shikome begins to turn away from Namori-

"Hey, slut!" Koi calls down from above, now hovering in the air. Aa~h, Koi and Komi were always such freakin' rambunctious assholes.

...Shikome looks around for a moment-

"Yeah, you! Purple hair and skin and shit!" Koi calls down again! "How's ya day goin!?"

Shikome looks up at her, still pretty much standing on a series of sticky mines. Well- not on on, but she's next to them basically. There's like five mines that landed behind her while she was givin' Namori the look.

...Yeah, Shikome doesn't say anything, she just looks up.

...Adopting a smug look that almost gives way into giggling, Koi snaps her fingers.

KABOOM

"Wahahaha~!" Koi reels back in the air, holding her stomach as her breasts jiggle. "Ho~haha~! Ooh- ooh, didn'cha see the glowin' bombs!? Ha- ah…?"

In the air, Shikome's limbs slowly flailed as she ascended towards the fairy maid, her body crackling with orange danmaku energy from the explosions. She tryin' 'a' flap like a bi~rd…?

"Fuck off…!" Cracking her knuckles, Koi hovers in wait of the youkai.

Shikome soars up into the bomb fairy, and grabs onto her. Koi seemingly hugs her back!

She beams giddily into Shikome's seemingly neutral expression. "Hehehe~! Bitch!"

Boom! In the air, Koi lets loose a self-destruct type explosion, except it doesn't actually destroy herself.

"Anh…" Wincing, Koi is still staring into Shikome's face from the midst of a grapple. "Tha fuck?"

Tendrils extend from Shikome, and lift her skirt.

Koi's eyes light up. "Oo~h!? Is this one of them tentacle rapes!? Oo~h, hohoho~!" Oh boy. If it actually happens, I'll have to scene break that shit out…! I'll try to fill you guys in on the family friendly details!

Extending a tendril to bind Koi so her own arms could be free, Shikome brings them under the skirt and begins sliding down Koi's panties…

Thrusting Koi into the air as they fall, Shikome steals the fairy's panties clean off with a single tug.

"Oh- whah…!?" Koi is left spinning in the air after Shikome's tendrils leave her. "...Wh- yo-you only took my panties!? Motherfucker!" Pfft… Nevermi~nd, then! No scene breaks required!

Like this, Shikome descends towards the roof-

Bam! Shikome lands half embedded in said roof. Freakin'...

It is now a deep blue out, the sun finally setting for realsies. This's been goin' awhile…!

I look over at Remilia-

Boom! The second loud noise was that red pad that presumably Brittany placed around Komi's roof space awhile ago. It freakin' exploded.

The roof that held Komi and the space around it caved inward, now a hole. Oo~h…

...As I was saying, I look over at Remilia…

She seems intrigued, which is probably why she's not kicking everyone's asses right now.

"Ev- everyone!" Reaching into that tubby backpack of hers, Brittany took out a Mega Potion, and tossed it into the air.

Every fairy had a drop of liquid splash down onto them, becoming absorbed into each of them. Oo~h… actually, how good even was that? Only Komi really got hurt enough to warrant a potion…

Speaking of, I think we should go mug that freakin' noob with the backpack and potions…!

Taking a breath, Renko stands up with her scissors drawn. "C'mon, Merry. I think we can at least handle this healer of theirs…"

Maribel springs up, ready for some revenge! "Alright…"

Ho ho ho! Hanger raised, I start sprinting towards this Brittany character! "Wahuehuehu~e!"

Noticing us approach, her eyes widen and she starts running past the side of the mirror and into the open…

As we near, she raises her copy of Fragile Flower. "Mine Square!"

Bwoomp. All around her, a square of beige variants of the same magical pad that blew up and freed Komi before formed. This large square of like sixteen mines kept us from Brittany, and Brittany from us.

"We've been bamboozled…!" I look down at the mines! They are indeed very mine-y…!

"What kind of spell is this…?" Maribel wonders what trickery this is!

"Landmines, Merry." Renko aptly replies.

...Maribel just gives her a dry look.

Renko grins back. "They're landmines."

Landmines. Whelp, unless we can jump over these, we're kinda at a stand still. Considering Brittany's stayin' in the middle of the square, I don't think she can walk over them either. Good fight.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Matt turns to Remilia while fighting unfolds all around the garden table. "How's the weather?"

Remilia just gives him the driest of glares. "We're outside. You can see. Actually- no, you can't and never will. That's the weather."

...Matt just nods at that.

Fwoom. Dark magic flares up from beneath him.

"...Now I really can't see." He looks around randomly, apparently blinded. Get owned, noob, get owned.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

At this point, the sun's almost set completely, all this fighting taking place in the azure glow of the darkening atmosphere...

Shikome has pulled herself out of the beige roof planks! She's currently strafing around and looking up at the bomb maid who's trying to pin her with stickies…

"Stand sti~ll!" Koi whines at the death loli, probably well over fifty feet in the air. "I wanna blow you u~p!"

Fwoom! An amber spike shot into the air from the hole in the floor where Komi resided. Yeah, we needed that bitch back. Thanks a lot, Brittany.

In the next moment, Komi was to the side of Shikome.

"Fission Firaga!" Komi jabbed her hanger into the floor-

Fwroar! A geyser of flames erupted from the wooden planks, a series of fireballs gushing from the wooden roof surface.

Spla-spla-splash! Instantly, Sakuya's water knives attack the blaze...

"Mrrm…" Rumia rolls over on the table, knocking over another tea cup. Before it can even fall off the table, it vanishes. Freakin'... yo.

Shikome's eyes widen slightly as she glances back at Rumia. Then, she leaps back from the geyser of fireballs and flames.

Komi darts from it, hanger pointed straight at Shikome. "Dark Firaga!"

Moving forward with similar speed to Komi's, Shikome ducks under the fairy's fireball and the fairy herself, and rotates around to grab the maid by the butt-

The fairy's form dissipates in her hands. Them jukes, bro, them jukes!

"Suffer!" Komi appears behind her-

Shikome darts forward to avoid Komi's downward combo finisher by distancing herself-

Fwam! A splash of darkness erupts as Komi brings her hanger down, failing to hit the death loli.

Turning around, Shikome sees that Komi's seemingly stuck in her kneeling position post-attack-

"Pathetic." Komi appears behind her again, ready to replicate the same combo finisher-

Crouching, Shikome thrusts herself back by stabbing her tendrils into the floor.

Fwam! Komi ends up going over Shikome entirely, her downward slash missing 'n' striking the floor and blah blah blah magic.

Thrusting forward, Shikome nimbly slides her hands up Komi's skirt, grabs the fairy by the ass, and tugs upward-

"Uoa~oh…!?" Komi's eyes widen. Shikome just gave her a freakin' atomic wedgie…! Oo~h!

"Stand still, dammit!" Koi bellows down at the two. "I can't throw bombs if yer all hoppin' and leapin' like fleas and shit…!"

A moment later, Komi's form dissipates mid-wedgie.

...She appears a few feet away, trying to stumble away from the loli. "Ho-holy shit…" She just tried to escape a wedgie by moving faster than the human eye. I think she's gonna need those panties surgically removed…!

Looking back up at Koi, Shikome quickly darted over to Komi, and lifted her.

"Hey- fuck…" Komi wiggles in her grasp, as the loli gives her a few practice jerks… and then tosses her up at Koi.

Koi grins widely. "Hahaha~! We playin' 'Catch the Komi' now!?" Arms extended, she braces herself for Komi…

"Oof!" Komi knocks her back a little on impact.

...While that was goin' down, me and the girls are havin' our own fun in the minefield over here…

Brittany's still just standing in the middle of the mines. Me, Maribel, and Renko have drawn a coffee table from my bag, and are working together to try and poke her with it…

"We have you surrounded!" I yell across the mines! "At least from this side!"

As it turns out, the mines don't explode for coffee tables. This is a good thing.

Suddenly, Renko and Merry stop trying to help me move the table, forcing me to plop it down in the middle of the mine wall. It's big enough to extend past it entirely, 'cause each wall is just one layer of mines.

How big is a mine? Oh, abou~t… let's say twice the size of a common pillow. Good measurements, yo. Their gold glowing actually made them really pretty in the night...

Maribel starts crawling onto the table. "I think… this should work."

"Uhm…" Brittany starts looking around, focused. Nervous, but focused!

Maribel starts crawling across-

Fwoom! Oh, fuck! The mine explodes, launching Maribel and the coffee table.

"Merry!" Acting quickly, Renko runs after her friend to break her fall.

"Holy fuck…!" I raise Hard Winter to keep the table from fucking my day up! It ends up freakin' leaning against me, and I have ta push it off...

Renko leaps after Maribel, gaining surprising air-

"Woah…" Three feet up, she catches Maribel awkwardly. "Uhm…" Musta been 'cause of her scissors!

Maribel squirms in her arms. "Aah… wow. That-"

Thu-thud. They land on the ground, both falling down. They both seem like they landed a'ight, though...

However, the minefield is now open 'cause of that one mine that's gone! Nice field, noob!

I slide in through the gap!

Brittany walks over the rear mines.

...Yeah, just like, straight up. She just walked over them, no harm no foul.

I look down at the mines she waltzed over, then up at her.

She smirks at me. Yo~u freakin'...

"Mine Field!" She raises her hanger into the air!

Bwoomp.

Not only is the box of mines I'm in filled with mines… but I am also now trapped in by said mines. And now mines have generated around the box. Mines are also now on other mines.

Son of a bitch, Brittany just trapped my ass. Goddamn it. If I move a step in any direction I am gonna get juggled like freakin'...

"Alright…" Back on her feet, Maribel readjusts her poofy hat. "They don't actually hurt that bad. They just throw you really far…"

For me, that's not much better! With the amount of mines that've boxed me in, I'm gonna get freakin' launched sky high!

...Actually, y'know what? I wonder if that counts as blast jumping. Likely depends on if they're bomb elemental or not, probably.

Renko starts darting around the side of the mine mania, only for Brittany to skip right into the midst of all her mines. Yeah, it doesn't seem like her own mines affect her. She is surprisingly deceptive for how unassumingly timid she comes off as…!

Of course, she doesn't look too timid now. She looks like she's having fun with this.

Whelp, might as well look back at what the big noobs are doing…

Koi's closer to the ground for some reason, while Komi seems to be getting her panties out of her ass…

Woosh! One of Shikome's tendrils darts up after her, but Koi jerks up into the air past its max length. "Nope! Can't get me!"

Shikome jumps twenty feet herself, and extends another tendril.

"Oah!?" Koi was latched onto by her leg!

Komi leapt from the fairy's arms to stay further away from the murder loli. "Hoh…!"

Propelled towards the orange-haired maid as she pulled her closer, Shikome held the fairy's panties in one hand, her other arm outstretched to the side as it pulled back on and retracted its tendril.

"Hey- wait- timeout- omph!" Once they met, Shikome shoved her hand into the fairy's mouth. Koi's orange and white striped panties ended up halfway into her own mouth. "Mmgh…!" Freakin'...!

Pushing her arm forward, Shikome tilted Koi to face the floor back first, so that when they landed Koi'd just get annihilated by gravity...

Her arm's motion also shoved the panties in deeper. "Nngh! Nnn~!" Koi blinked rapidly, tears threatening to form in her eyes more from her gag reflex than anything else-

Thud! The two landed on the roof, Koi's arms splayed out at her sides.

"Mnn~gh!" Koi let out a muffled yell through the panties that were deep in her mouth. "Ghkh…" Her eyes watered up slightly.

...Neutrally, Shikome stood.

Koi was unwilling to get back up, the fairy's vision spinning as she lied limply on the floor.

"What's yours is mine!"

To Shikome's side, the domineering fairy maid floated into the air, her hanger hovering behind her back. Before her, three prism-like cubes of glass formed in the air, and she aimed her arm forward.

Ti-ti-ti-ti-tick. Immediately, a series of red reticles lit up on Shikome's form-

Fwvrrrrr~! A person-sized dark laser stretched forward towards Shikome.

...Shikome simply stood in it, the dark magic evidently not effective on her. After a still moment, she ran through the black and blue laser.

I'm glad Shikome's deciding to eat this shit and not me! Freakin'... I'd like to know again when Komi became a freakin' notable fighter. Also, it seems as if Shikome's darkness immune. She must be weak to holy, then! That took rocket science to figure out!

She began to gain on Komi-

The prism cubes spread out and began dissipating.

Tick. One of the reticles on Shikome's form lit up again.

Woosh! With blinding speed, Komi roared forward, her jab shrouded in a coat of dark magic that was pouring from her hanger.

Shink! "Nn…" Shikome stops in place after Komi's jab partially rolls off her shoulder, making a small incision.

Turning around, she watches Komi continue soaring-

Woash. Komi vanished in a fluctuation of darkness.

Tick. Another reticle lights up on Shikome's form, cueing her in on what's about to happen.

This time, she leaps-

Woosh! Komi soars under her, missing.

Woash. Komi disappears again after she's missed.

...For a moment, everything's quiet as Komi remains hidden.

"Heal this." Komi appears many feet above Shikome! Her hanger flows freely with dark energy as she stabs it down towards the ground-

Watching her coming, Shikome steps out of the way-

Fwam- Fwow- Fwam- Fwoah- Fwow! Bright purple, black, and blue splashes of dark magic erupt around Komi, creating a small maelstrom of darkness that I had to freakin' look away from. Why's it bright!? It's darkness!

"Now that was real power!" Komi, please…!

"...Stupid…" I hear Shikome's voice as the dark inky black smoke fades! Aw, the murder loli speaks.

Komi's still in a kneeling posture that she took at the end of her last attack. Shikome simply stares at her.

After a moment, Shikome folds her arms and continues staring at her.

Unenthusiastically, she sends a tendril forward towards the still fairy slowly...

...Once it reaches the fairy and gives it a poke, the fairy dissipates.

"Domination!" Komi's voice is heard behind Shikome, from the same distance but in the opposite direction. "Helm Splitter!"

The dark fairy maid accelerates into the air, before descending upon Shikome with a downward thrusting attack-

Shikome reaches up and grabs the hanger as it comes down-

Fwa~sh! Ice blooms out from where it was clutched, shards and frost running all along Shikome's body. Oo~f...

"Ngh…" Slightly hardening her face, Shikome jerks the hanger from the fairy anyway. "You are annoying."

"Woah…!?" Komi gets pulled along with the hanger momentarily, only to throw herself back and allow herself to roll across the floor. "Gah…"

...With the hanger in hand, Shikome swung it a few times before dismissively tossing it aside.

Reaching into the hammerspace back around her waist, Komi tried to crawl. "Fu-fuck you- agh!"

Shikome was immediately on her back, pressing the fairy's body down with her leg. Bringing her hands forward, Shikome grabbed onto the fairy's wings, and-

Rii~p!

"Aaauu~h!" Komi roared in pain. Shiee~ut...

...Thud. Komi's face hit the wood floor as she splayed out on her stomach, one arm still halfway through the hammerspace bag she had.

The blaze that had been started by her Fission Firaga earlier was long since extinguished, some of Sakuya's knives still stuck in the wood where it was.

Hoh. Remind me not to screw with demon loli. Not without some wheels.

I turn, only to see Brittany standing next to me, a hand to her mouth as she stares at Komi. She looks like she's about to freakin' cry.

Jerking my head back, I just look at her...

...Once she notices me, she swiftly reels Fragile Flower back-

Clo~ng! ...It's a good thing my sun helmet was on! No jaw whack for you, son-

Boom! Oo~h, fuck, I stumbled back into a mine. Maribel's right about them not hurting, but-

Boom! The mine five feet below me explodes, propelling me further into the air. Okay-

Boom! The mine ten feet below me explodes. What's the effective radius of these things!?

Boom! Alright, fifteen feet. It seems to be fifteen feet. That's a deceptive height for such tiny freakin'... roomba pads.

… As I fall, I execute my second jump, allowing me to fall back onto my ass from normal momentum instead of twenty-foot-drop momentum!

Thud. Ow. Still hurts, though…

Maribel and Renko were crouched to the side of the minefield, trying to discover bold new ways to not get fucked up by it in order to get to me. Unfortunately, I'd already got gotten, yo…!

Now that I'm on the other side of the minefield… it's just me and freakin' Brittany, yo.

She walks up to me with Fragile Flower ready. Are… you sure about that?

I point at her hanger. "You sure you wanna use that?"

She points it to my left. "Oh- oh? Uhm… yeah." She points it to my right!

"'Cause, y'know, freakin'..." I grin, which I can do 'cause my visor's up! "That's probably the worst weapon, unless it's your only weapon. In which case you should probably just use yer bare damn hands." It halves your strength and defense. Well, not exactly half, but for us freakin' noobs it may as well be half. Or more…!

She points it to her right-

A red pad generates. Uuh…

She points it to her left, another red pad generating. What's the big idea, here…!?

I look to my own left and right, seeing that she'd placed pads there with her previous gestures. Son of a-

"Remote Detonation!" She jerks the hanger into the air-

BOOM

The blasts shatter the edges and corners of the floor around us, prompting us to fall down! "Huwoa~h!" Yo ho ho~!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...We both double jump before we hit the hallway floor inside. Translucent fairy wings flare up behind Brittany as she executes hers.

"Okay…" Freakin'... we're alone in some obscure hallway of the mansion now. "Who the frik're you?"

She just frowns at me. Aw, cool.

She's got too much 'a eerily similar shit for me to just wave off the coincidences. That's like my hair, except tame, and like five times longer. My eyes're blue too, and I feel like that face shape is a little too similar for comfort…!

I gotta say though, yo, it's lookin' smooth! Mine's not…

"You…" She blinks at me after givin' me the stare for a few moments. "Your name's Brad, right?"

Mmm~! Gee! "I don't know, yo, maybe."

Snorting, she looks away for a moment. "Is it true? That-... you've only been here for the fall so far. Fall season, I mean."

...After a moment, I nod. "Yeah, yo. What, you have a wife an' kids? Well, husbando, freakin'..." My biggest question is why you're a maid girl now! Unless she's from some weird whacky world where I was always a chick and cross dressed as dudes.

"Why?" Brittany asks a question, for some reason! "...Why did that window lead here? What kind of cosmic screw up is this?"

Hoh. "A good one, yo."

...Her brows furrow at my jest.

"I've… been in Gensokyo for a year now." Brittany informs me levelly. Hoh, shit…! "I live at the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

Yeah, your uniform kinda gave that away. "...You were pretty buddy buddy wit' them fairies, weren't'cha?"

"Why aren't you?" Brittany responds immediately!

I snort. "...You said wat now." It's a little hard when they try to just kick my shit in…!

"It's not a joke." She sighs. "...You've met them before, right?"

"Yeah, yo." I nod! "An' I beat the shit outta' them!"

...Oh, shit. She doesn't look like she liked that answer!

Grinning, I change my answer! "I give them foot rubs and make them Kool-Aid?"

"You…" She sighs again, like some angsty freakin' teen. Aah! "Wow. I'm glad I'm not you."

Oo~f! Yo! Ho ho ho~... man. Wait- before I get hype about me talking down to myself…

I point at her. "Were you ever a dude?"

...She gives me a dry look, for a moment, before replying neutrally. "I was once just like you."

...I'm not sure if that's the answer I'm looking for. "Bo~y or girl? Freakin'- open your pants and check!"

"Boy. I was a boy." She gives me a dry look again! "I thought that was implicit."

"You're implicit." I jeer at her. "When'd, u~h… you not be a boy?"

"Technically day two." Brittany looked away.

Day two? Ho~h, shit, talk about a timeline split. I don't remember chopping my dick off on day two. That would've been a hell of a way to start this…!

"You should talk with the fairies more." Brittany starts tellin' me what to do! "I'm sure they'll help you like they helped me."

I let my arms ragdoll. "Yeah, help me cut my dick off. How about no."

Rolling her eyes, Brittany steps towards me. "Seriously. I-... I know you need more love than you get."

Wooa~h! Hold up now, son! Them's fightin' words!

I just stare at her with a stupid grin. "...Y'said what!?"

She scrunches her face. "You know what I said."

"No, I don't! I'm looking for clarification!" I raise my hands and shake them to gesture!

She raises a hand to gesture with it, too. "You need people! You can't just- you can't just… what have you been doing?"

Pfft. "Running around aimlessly…?"

"You can't just keep running around aimlessly." She throws her arm outward for effect. "Brad. Talk to Komi, she-"

"Yo, yo yo yo." I hold up an arm. "Son, no." No Komi time. It is not and never will be Komi time.

Brittany jerks her head back. "Oh, come on…" Raising her arms, she shakes 'em, too! "Look- I'm trying to help you, and you-"

"No, no, no, son." I shut other me down. "I got a home girl, yo."

...Brittany pauses. "You do? Who?"

"She's a fairy." I grin.

"Who?" My own inquiring mind wants to know!

"Ha-chan. Hana, if you know her." I try to fold my arms, but Hard Winter makes that impossible so I settle for looking like a dumbass.

Oo~h, that was not the right answer, apparently. Brittany's starting to grin, in the same way I start to grin when I get annoyed! "Aah. Yeah. That bitch."

O~kay, we are not gonna end this discussion on a good foot. "Yo, what's it with you 'n' her, yo?" Yo. Note to self: say yo more often, yo.

"How far've you even come?" Brittany seems disappointed, yo. "You've…" Looking away for a moment, she looks back at me. "You can still fix this, if you're not a retard."

I back up from her. "Nah, mate. I'm not about that lopping my dick off kinda life."

Brittany huffs. "I still have a dick."

Oh. "...I'm not sure if that's better or worse." I don't kno~w how to react to that! Well, at least you get to have sex with the fairies, so that's one thing you did right. Wait-

I hold my arm up, hand out- "Yo."

She furrows her brows at me.

"Do you get to sex the fairies." My own inquiring mind wants to know, again.

...She blinks. "Well… do you?"

"Just tell me." Fucking… "I'm you."

"Yes, yes I do." Other me nods in confirmation! Then, she holds herself. "...It's about as... rapey as you'd imagine."

Aaw, yo. He's the me who was about that life, yo. I give him a thumbs up! "Oo~h. Well~ have fun with that, yo. For reals." Legitimately, I don't think that kind of progression path would be terrible, but that ain't me, son.

She blinks, before accepting this answer… then she continues with her freakin' stupid argument. "You can live like me, too."

"I'm gonna force feed you shoes." I inform her. "No, I ain't livin' like you, noob. You do you, I do me."

"I- I understand that! You think I don't!?" Brittany gets angry! "...I understand that better than you, I'm sure."

Oh okay. Yeah, sure…

I look up at the ceiling, noticing Renko and Merry looking inside. Oh, shit.

Noticing where I'm looking, Brittany looks there, and has a similar reaction to me. "Oh, good."

...Maribel waves down at us. "Hey~!"

"Yo~!" I wave back!

Brittany turns to me, sighing as she steps about anxiously. "Seriously, listen to me. Whatever you're thinking-"

"How about you listen ta me, son?" I grin incredulously at Brittany. We're still going on about this…!? I guess I am kinda stubborn…

...Frowning, Brittany folds her arms.

I change the topic entirely. "How'd ya get named Brittany?"

She seems thrown off by the topic change. "Oh- uh… Komi. Komi named me that."

No comment. I don't have words for that. It- it just is.

For some reason I wanna both cringe and grin.

"No, don't look at me like that." Brittany glares at me. "You fucking idiot, don't look at me like that." Pfft…!

I can't stop this look of just no comment on my face, son. I think your sitchiation's cool and all, but it's not my style… I'd also rather not be that close to freakin'... Komi.

"You go around with that bitch, you- you overlook something so important and… just you." She seems bamboozled, yo.

I raise my hanger. "Can we shut up and fight?"

"Just what I was thinking." Reaching back, she puts away Fragile Flower. Oh, she has more shit than I thought! "I'm gonna beat the stupid out of you… son." That last part sounds weird coming outta her mouth…!

Reaching her other arm back into her big backpack, she pulls out a hanger I distinctly recognize as Solemn Magnolia. I forget what that hanger did… one was pretty good, and the other was just no magic flailing wildly.

"Aerora!" Brittany props her arms into the air-

Woosh! A barrier of wind whirls around her form. Oo~h, that's not a bad skill, actually… if I remember correctly, that like, halves incoming damage. Brittany's definitely been in a few fights!

"Mine Square!" Again, she thrusts her hanger into the air, and creates a square of mines around herself.

I buff myself up with Hard Winter! Step right up and get some, yo…!

Strafing to the edge of her barrier of mines, she shifts about. I just stand kinda unassumingly to bait her…

After a moment of us being freakin' fluffy, Brittany is the first to act! Dashing across her mines, she runs towards me, before jumping into the air. Translucent, green fairy wings flare behind her cosmetically as she does so.

Then, she jumps again, and I brace for-

She jumps a third time, soaring over me-

She jumps a fourth time, spinning directly over me. I guard with Hard Winter-

Cla~ng! Our hangers meet-

Fwish! Fuck- ouch, that's like a paper-

Fwish! -cut! Yo, yo!

Thrusting Hard Winter upward to make Brittany lose what little balance she had atop my hanger, I retreat back a little.

Thud. Brittany lands on the ground, before promptly triple jumping backwards to get back onto her feet.

"Don't you remember what higher tiers of Aero do?" Brittany grins at me. "Did you forget?"

Freakin'... oh, right. Higher tiers of Aero in Kingdom Hearts I made the wind shield damage enemies too. That's some bullshit!

...Man, those wind slashes actually sting, too! I can see those getting bad later, but if there's another thing I remember, it's that Aero runs out really fast and you have to keep recasting it!

Now back up, Brittany just runs at me again, trying to repeat what she did earlier.

On her second jump, I just run forward and raise my hanger over head like a sledgehammer-

Thu-Cli~ng! It hits her as she tries to pass over me, knocking her back. The wind shield makes a clinging noise, too, keying me in on the fact it is indeed a shield.

Fwish! My brief proximity with the wind shield leads to me getting damaged! Freakin'...!

Aw, dude! Mana prizes're splayed out across the ground…!

"Gnh…" She frowns. "What is that weapon?"

Ooh. Ohoho. She dunno what I can do, son! "C'mere, lemme show ya!"

"Mine Field!" She casts another mine spell, walling off the other end of the hallway. "Fine."

She starts runnin' towards me…

I guard as she just comes out swingin'-

Clank! She hits my hanger, before transitioning smoothly into a jab-

Clank! I barely block that shit 'cause it's a jab-

Clank! Jesus, slow down! I don't move that fast!

For her combo finisher, Brittany spun around quicker than I could take advantage of, unleashing a solid blow… that I blocked again.

Cla~ng! My arms felt that one!

Fwish! Ow. Your wind shield can go fuck itself.

Ignoring the wind, I jab forward with Hard Winter-

Thu-Cli~ng! It makes her flinch back, but doesn't actually do much 'cause of her wind shield. Oo~h, if only I had dispel…!

Due to my combo plus, I transition smoothly into a clunky side blow-

Thu-Cli~ng! She stumbles back from this one. Blow to the ribs instead 'a the shoulder!

Lotsa mana prizes lying around now! I should strafe into some when I get the chance...

"Ghhn…" She seethes. "How do you block everything?"

"Plant hangers, son!" I grin at her!

...Taking some steps back, she seems to reconsider her strategy, before shaking her head.

Brittany and I strafe around each other like noobs, allowing me to collect some neat mana prizes off the floor by stomping on them. This is actually pretty fun, if I'm gonna be honest, yo. The fight, not the prizes, even if those are fun too. I've always liked mirror matches…

"Bind!" She thrusts her hanger into the air. A shockwave of some kinda non-elemental yellow energy rushes out from her, and I end up with this freakin' ring around my form. It's all staticy, and-... okay. I can move my limbs, but if I walk I can't go anywhere.

Grinning, she starts leaping around me, circling me with two consecutive jumps, which I counter just by freakin'... turning around-

Cla~ng! She brings her hanger down in an overhead swing, but I block it.

Leaping away, she frowns. "This isn't going anywhere."

"Well, when you only load up on annoying binding spells…!" I run in place after her!

Taking a deep breath, Brittany just kinda watches me… until I'm free!

Then I stop running at her!

...I should try a different hanger. Maybe fire- no, wait, Sakuya'd freakin' make me eat shit and die.

You know what, yo. I take out the Bee-Sheventeen Bawmber, wieldin' it with my free hand.

I also pocket Hard Winter. It's got some legit spells, but I've got some things that should make this fun, and I'll just take it back out if shit gets hard to evade.

"You…" Brittany stumbles back, as her wind shield fades. "Why do you have so many weapons? How do you carry- nevermind..." She notices my hammerspace sack.

"Why don't you, yo?" I counter!

"...I don't need them." She smirks at me, before-

Woosh! She slides towards me! "'Cause you're wide open!"

I move to clash my hanger with hers-

Clang- Boom!

"Gufah!?" She's thrown backwards, and ends up sliding back on her ass!

"Gnh…" I didn't take that blast so well, either, but that was a good time!

While she's down, I throw the hanger at her again-

Boom! It explodes on her!

"Oua~h!" Oh, shit. That must've fucking hurt, 'cause she's writhing.

Di~ng. This badge on Brittany's chest lights up, and her body seems to glow with green energy reminiscent of a casted potion's after effects.

...Y'know, I should probably do something about that auto-heal pin. Like, right now.

...Getting back up, she starts scrambling for the Bawmber to use herself. That… gives me an idea. I wanted to kinda do this earlier when I first drew it, but now I think I'm okay with even more stupid bullshit strategies.

I draw Market Gardener with one arm. I'm not sure what to do with Deep Blue now since it's not all that useful. I think I'll put it away, for now…!

Now armed with the bomb hanger… Brittany strafes to a nearby couch, and puts it down.

Freakin'- yo! "What're ya, freakin' stoopid!?"

Snorting, she holds her hanger up over it-

Bwoomp. Oh, she just placed a mine on it. Count Market Gardener out until I move that couch! What a buzzkill, yo, what a buzzkill.

Putting away Market Gardener, I stratemagize for once, 'cause I'm fightin' myself.

She's got that auto-heal or whatever pin, which sucks and should burn, so I think I~'ll try and remove that!

Do I have any weapons that excel super at freakin'... hanger on hanger combat? I don't think Youkai Inconveniencer counts.

...Oh! Bringing out Swordbreaker, I progress towards her again…! The ridges on this thing are made to catch onto weapons and kick ass! I do also have Sharper than Darkness, which should be good if I get my ass handed to me.

Bringing up Solemn Magnolia again, she starts to progress towards me once I progress towards her. She musta taken my thinkin' moment as a breather.

"Hoh!" She comes in swingin'-

Cli~ng! I parry her with Swordbreaker, our weapons interlocking and forcing us both to just stand still really close to each other.

In this moment, I reach for her potion-shaped badge and pu~ll-

Ri~p! Ho ho! Came off like adhesive!

"Wh-what!?" Her eyes widen! Her grip loosens, too. "How!?"

In her surprise, I un-interlock my weapon… and we just kinda stand there.

She looked down at her outfit, then at me. "How did you-... know?"

Freakin'... "It glowed! All sparkly and shit! You glowed after it glowed!"

"No one's ever targetted that before…" Brittany was still freakin' surprised.

"'Cause they're fookin' stoopid." I reiterate the premise! But anyway... "We gonna hit each other over the head with hangers like full grown men or what?" ...The ironic part is that we're still teenagers!

I hear a voice from the hole above! "Look out below!" It's Matt!

...Thud. He dropped in Komi's wingless body, which landed on its stomach.

...Oh.

A moment later, Koi fell in-

"Mngh…" Plopping atop Komi, she blinks a few times. She was still conscious, albeit probably unwillingly!

"He-hey, uhm…" Namori complains about something in the hole above. "Please, if you- aah!"

Bam! Namori hits the ground huge ass icicle arms first, unable to get up off her stomach 'cause of them.

Clink. Clink. Her giant icicle wing things fall in behind her. "...Ow."

...I gesture to them. "All your friends are here, son."

...Brittany looks disturbed. Like, furrowed brows, freakin'...

Looking up and pointing about where Matt is, she scowls. "Who the hell was that?"

Aw, yo. "That was Matt, yo."

Brittany just turns to me, still both disgusted and confused. "Who?"

"Krockorocostar." I grin at her! Good buddy ol' pal Matt from my good ol' internet days! Sounded like a murderer, talked like a murderer, and then he came here and, to my surprise, actually murdered. He's fluffy, though… when he's not killin' my home girls that is. Or innocent bystanders on my watch. Freakin'...

...Her eyebrows rise, and she slowly nods. "It... all makes sense now."

Reaching for the pack on her back, which some people might call a backpack, she started putting away Solemn Magnolia…

I blink. "What, we done fighting?" I'm half glad 'cause I'm kinda exhausted, but at the same time I figured she had more. I've only seen one hanger, and it's a boring good weapon!

"No." Reaching in, she began to take out another weapon. What was it, that Faithless Digitalis? This should be over soon, then… 'cause that 'hulkamania minus spells' hanger is freakin' terrible!

Oh, I guessed wrong, it's not that hanger. It's… something pretty freakin' bulky. Is that even a hanger?

It looks more like a freakin' canister with ornate metalworking and a stupid swiffer handle. It was like, if you took a wiffle duster, and replaced the fluffy duster bit with a brass and tin can. What the frik is that!?

Kri-krik, kri-krik, kri-krik. Brittany presses on the handle, and the canister spins.

...I slowly point at it. "You gonna fuck me in the ass wit' that?"

Brittany snorts. "Freaking… no. Actually, yes."

"Too late, son." I point at the floor. "Put it down, yo. Your stolen goods are now forfeit."

"You can do i~t." Namori unenthusiastically cheers Brittany on from her heap on the floor, still trying to pull herself up.

"Mmngh." Koi probably cheered for her, too.

Komi was just zonked. Probably passed out! Normally fairies poof before they can pass out from pain…

Kri-kri-krik. Kri-krik. Okay- what is that freakin' McDonalds toy that Brittany took out?

Reaching into her backpack of tricks and limited inventory space, Brittany took out a frilly, black pair of panties.

...I just raise my eyebrows. Where's she goin' wit' this?

Bringing the pair of panties put to the canister, Brittany held it over one of the slots in the design of the canister-

Cli-click. The canister seemingly accepted the panties through a slot on it.

"Komi…" Brittany lets out a sigh, taking a glance back at the bodies, and resting both hands on the base of her… super wiffle duster panty vending machine thing. I got no idea what the fuck you call that.

Fwoom! The canister lights up with black energy, which travels along the weapon and into Brittany herself.

"What in the nine fucks is that…?" I gesture to her omega wiffle duster.

"It's a plant hanger." She informs me.

"No it ain't!" I shake my head! "You hang a plant from that shit, it'll slide off and break!"

Brittany smiles. "I suppose. It is called, 'Ends of the Earth'."

…Alright then, yo. I feel like- no, I do know that name from somewhere. It makes sense she'd be about as inspired as I am!

Bringing up Swordbreaker, I briefly consider switching to a safer option, but nah. Screw it, yo, it has that easy to disarm duster handle.

With that settled, Brittany began to move again.

Lumbering towards me, she reeled the super duster back like a freakin' club, 'cause it pretty much was.

Then, she thrusts it into the air! "Blind!"

Fwoa~sh. A dark shockwave spread out from her, and- oo~h, yeah. Does what it says on the tin! After it ran across me, I'm… not necessarily blind, but the only things I can see are like, the flames of the hall's candles.

Since I can't see shit, I just start strafing backwards and swinging my hanger. "Ho ho ho!"

Woo~sh! I hear her swing-

Whack! Ouu~ch!? Holy shit! Nearly knocked me the fuck over-

Fwam! The next hit's vaguely magical. God da-

Fwa-fwa-fwa-fwam! The final hit does some bullshit that I can barely make out 'cause it's bright, but it felt like a really magically accented thrust.

"Fu-fuck…!" Once the hits release me, I'm thrown back into one of the hall's side walls-

Bam! Oww~...

Dropping Swordbreaker, I scramble onto my legs and just dart to the side aimlessly as I pull out Youkai Inconveniencer. If she's gonna cast dark shit, I'm gonna cast light shit…!

Woosh- woosh! I hear her swing behind me-

Bam! ...That hit the wall, not me!

Channeling mana into Youkai Inconveniencer, I thrust it into the air. Do that flash attack thing!

Fwa~sh! The room was briefly visible for a moment, before flickering back into darkness.

"Ah…!?" Brittany was blinded! "What the fuck…?"

I channel more mana into the hanger…!

Fwa~sh! Second verse, same as the first!

Woosh, woosh! Brittany swings somewhere in the darkness… but it doesn't hit anything!

Oh, hey! Vision's comin' back, yo…

Turning to where Brittany is, I point the hanger at her-

Fwoom! An orb of light generates at her position, knocking her back.

"Anh!?" She's actually launched by it. I don't think it had that much power…

...Landing, Brittany bares her teeth, before drawing two more pairs of panties from her backpack. "Namori, Koi, come to my aid!"

The actual not-Namori tries to prop herself up, but her icicle arms weigh her down. "No~ can do…"

"Mnnh!" Koi lets out a muffled yell, still lying on the floor with a mouth fulla' freakin' panties. She's a little more together-looking, though.

Fwa-fwa~sh! Brittany's form lights up with blue and orange energy, which eventually combines with the black to make this mystic brown aura around her…

"Balloonra!" Brittany jabs her freakin' panty machine into the air-

Bwoom-bwoom-bwoom-bwoom. Person-sized balloons form in the air around her, glistening unnaturally brightly and with fun fruity colors…

"Balloon!" She jabs her weapon into the air again, before gasping and stumbling to the side. "Ah-aah…"

...Looking over at me, she grimaces, her spell not executing. The balloons from Balloonra are still active, though.

Channeling mana into Youkai Inconveniencer again… I once again cast Shine on her-

Fwoom! A sphere of light generates inside her again, expanding.

"Ugh…" She withers on the spot, but doesn't seem too beat up once it ends, unlike last time.

Oof. Reaching into my bag, I start to draw one of my mana potions, 'cause I feel like I need it. All this casting I've been doing, yo… s'too much!

Before I can pull one out, the balloons stop being immobile and rocket towards me! What the fuck-

Pop!

Woa~h!

Bam! Tha~t threw me into the wall-

Pop-pop-pop-pop!

Ow~. More bubbles slammed into me and popped. I mean, that wasn't terrible for some reason, but that's fucking insane knockback. The initial hit against the wall left me a slight dizzy, though…

"Ok-okay…" I peel off the wall and land on my legs like a jackass. "Ngh…"

Brittany huffs, before slamming Ends of the Earth into the floor-

Cla~ng! Yeah, break it, yo, break it-

A white and blue magical circle appears under me, glowing ominously…

Brittany points at me, a shit eating grin on her face. "Freeze!"

Fwa~sh! Snowflakes roar up from the circle under my body…!

...A~nd I'm perfectly fine! I've got max ice and freeze resist, bitch!

Grinning back, I begin to climb to my feet, drawin' that mana potion…!

Brittany double takes. "What…? No, no, timeout!"

Uncorking the potion, I chug it.

...I wanna sigh, but I'm drinking. Freakin'... this shit sucks. It does its job, but it su~cks…!

"Mngh…" I wipe my lips after I dust off the mana potion, and toss the glass aside.

It vanishes before it hits the floor. Sakuya's watching…!

"My freeze spell! Why- why didn't it… work?" Eyebrows raised, Brittany just points at me in disbelief. "How?"

Marching towards her with my mana restored, I beam! "I'm ice elemental now, son! Ya shoulda cast scan!"

"What…!?" Eyes widening, she brings her super doofy weapon machine up as I near her. "How!?"

"C'mere, son!" Fuck it, yo! I chuck Youkai Inconveniencer at her and just freakin' run at her!

She moves to parry the hanger I threw, before sluggishly trying to swing the big weapon at me-

"Omf…!" She grunts as I just freakin' tackle her!

"Raa~h!" Keep pushing! I've got strength buffs keep pushing-

She drops her own weapon and begins pushing back, the aura around her form fading once she lets go of the weapon. "You- ngh- you dumbass…!"

Bum rushing always works! "Wahaha!"

...After some struggle, I push Brittany back into the wall.

"Nn~gh…" Grimacing, she looks away. Her strength is about on par with mine, but I really threw her off guard there.

Well, I think I won.

"I-I'm out of mana…" Brittany admits somewhat sheepishly. "I didn't… think I'd need mana potions today."

"Noob." Git gud son.

"...Do what you will with me." She looks down, frowning and pursing her lips.

"We're gonna have kinky sex." I inform her.

...She doesn't reply- hell, she actually like, recoiled like I was serious. Freakin'...

"But not really." I back away from her, givin' her her space back. "Freakin'... force 'a habit, huh?"

"Mhm." She acknowledges this. "I mean… yeah, force of habit."

...You betta not've been thinkin' what I think you were thinkin', or you really are gettin' your dick lopped off, yo.

Freaki~n'... "Fairies actually rape you more than they joke about rapin' ya don't they?"

"A-ah." She grins, her face reddening a little. "Yeah. I... don't hate it, though."

I'd probably agree with her on that, but I chose not to get raped and she… may have? Actually, there's still a fuckton of things I wanna ask her.

After a quiet moment, I stretch. Brittany seems to be waiting for me to tell her what to do, for some reason. "Lemme just freakin' collect all my crap, yo, and then we'll head on up to the roof."

"Sounds good." She's cool with that!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

The real challenge was getting past those freakin' minefields Brittany setup. Turns out she can't just poof 'em away, once she casts them they're there to stay!

Anyway, we're on the roof again, now, and it's like, night. No- it's not like night, it is night!

Craters, holes, and scorch marks mare the rooftop…

Remilia had two additional garden tables set up a little ways away from hers- where Matt 'n' Shikome still are- for me and the freakin' goon squad here.

Maribel and Renko are both sitting to my left, keepin' together and drinkin' fine teas.

...Furrowing her brows, Merry comments on the tea. "It tastes iron-y for some reason…" Remilia, you fuck, why are you feeding us your blood tea? Ah, whatever…

Renko snorts. "It's probably refined blood or something. The mistress is a vampire, isn't she?"

"...That makes sense." Maribel accepts this. "...Wait- ew! Blood…!?" Maribel no longer accepts this!

Renko looks over at me. "It's not actually blood, right?"

… I just kinda grin at her.

"Right?" She wants confirmation!

Across from us, Brittany sits between Komi and Koi, both of whom are just freakin' facedown on the table. Namori's actually free from her icicle arms now, though.

I also gave Brittany her shit back earlier, 'cause I know how terrifying it is to not have your shit.

Lookin' over at Renko, I shake my head. "You are drinking the blood of innocents, who have been slaughtered en masse for the comfort and leisure of two vampires."

Renko snorts. "Yeah, I thought not. It's probably just flavoring, Merry." Ho ho ho…! In reality though I don't think Remilia's about that life… at least not too much. I never really looked deep inta her basement, but I don't think she'd just let me see the skoolatoons in her closet… if she's got any. Yo, blood's gotta come from somewhere.

Brittany grins at me, shaking her head. "Truth is stranger than fiction." Oh, shit, she knows something. I suppose she would, all things considered...

Koi raises her head off the table, before taking a sip of the tea before herself. "...Ma~n. This place's some hard shit." I think you guys just got exceedingly unlucky, Shikome being here and all…

Komi's still dead, her wings gone. Well, with us, but dead inside. Aw...

Namori seems to just be passively observing…

...So~, let's get this interrogation on the road!

"When the frik didja, uh… decide to become a fairy friend?" I ask not me.

She seems to be sliding a potion outta her bag. "...Well, the first day I came here, Mistress Komi pushed me down, and…" Trailing off, Brittany leaves the rest to implication, smiling at her recollection. "Yeah."

When'd you start callin' her mistress!? Did I miss something? Freakin'...

I try to think back to my first day here in Gensokyo. That was a long ass time ago, but it's hard to forget when it was such a big freakin' change in my life. It was also just a month ago, and my memory's not that awful...

"Do you have a doll named London?" I give 'er my next question!

She blinks, looking over at me as she tries to prop Komi up in her chair. "U~hm… no. A what?"

Yeah, that'd explain a lot… if I didn't have London for those early days, I woulda gotten freakin' torn into. I don't like to use London so much anymore 'cause she uses a lot of mana and I like gettin' experience in on my own… and sometimes I just forget I have her. So many attack options…!

"Nevermind, yo…" I just shake my head. So that time Komi threw me down on day one and London killed her… if London didn't kill her, we just woulda had sex then and there and I woulda turned out to be this trap lookin' dude sittin' before me.

Life's fuckin' weird, dude…!

After getting Komi into a sitting up position, Brittany tilts the fairy's head back, and pours the green potion's contents into her mouth…

...After a moment, the green energy runs across Komi's body. Her wings begin to freakin'... regrow.

"Nngh…!" Gritting her teeth, her eyes snap open. "Fu- nngh- fuck…"

Thud. She flops on the table, writhing as her wings regrow. "Gnn~h…!"

Once they're fully regrown, she flaps them a bit, and rests her head on the table again. "Nnn~..."

Brittany pats her on the back. "Are you alright?"

"Nnn." ...Probably not, all things considered. Wings must be a real critical point for fairies...

Next question! "How the hell'd your fairy pals get so strong?" Seriously…!

Brittany looks over at me again, smiling. "Oh, well… we went on a lot of adventures together, and I've kinda been trying my best to build them up."

"Hehehe~..." Koi giggles from her seat, swirling her tea around. "Brittany-chan's a smart girl, yeah?"

"We've also had a year to do things." Brittany adds. "You've just been in Gensokyo for a month."

S'a good point. Freakin' less time to grind…

"Brad." Namori calls me by my name. Hearin' it always sounds kinda weird…! "Do you know any of us in this version of Gensokyo?"

I tilt my hand back and forth. "Aah, not really. They're some goons I beat up now and again, usually in self-defense, 'cause freakin'... yeah."

Namori just smiles, looking away. "I see…" Aw.

Brittany shakes her head. "I still think you're a retard."

"Pfft…" Maribel's caught off guard by the vicious statement!

Floppin' my arms on the table, I look over at Brittany. "What do you know that I don't…!?"

Lookin' over at Komi again, Brittany looks back at me, looking conflicted. "Well…"

Komi raises her head, back from hell! "She knows how to pick her lovers. You- hnn…" Taking a moment, Komi shifts her posture, sitting upright. "Your bitches kinda suck."

...I raise a brow.

Rolling her eyes, Komi gestures to Merry and Renko. "Them. They can't fight worth shit."

...They just kinda shrug in response.

Maribel adopts a smug expression. "I didn't get my wings ripped off…"

Komi leers at her. "I'll rip your wings off." Hoh, shit...

"Mistress." Brittany addresses Komi. "I don't think we should start another fight…"

...Komi glances over at Brittany, before folding her arms and leaning back. "Fine."

Smirking, I counter Komi's point. "Well, at least I got friends that're friends, yo."

...This statement attracts the attention of all four of them. Oof.

Brittany sighs, rubbing her forehead. "I was so stupid a year ago…"

Komi glares at me. "You better shut the fuck up."

Koi just rolls her eyes, and Namori looks away without saying anything.

...I flop my arms on the table again! "Whaddaya want from me, yo…!?"

"Hey." Renko taps on the metal garden table we're at. "...Brad two."

"Her name's Brittany-..." Komi interjects, only for Brittany to put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"Yeah?" Brittany looks over at Renko with an expression of waning patience…!

"What are they to you?" Renko asks the tough question! "Your fairies."

…After a fidgety moment, Brittany replies by wrapping an arm around Komi. "My lo-lovers."

"Uhm…" Komi seems to be caught off guard!

I don't even know what I'm watching at this point.

"This is what you miss." Brittany slowly reddens as she makes her case! "I'm… not just their toy, not anymore. After a year together… I-I mean, do you know how long a year is?"

To accent her point, she leans towards Komi, and swiftly kisses her neck.

"Not- not in front of the morons, damn it…" Komi actually freakin' stops to pry her off. "... I'll have to punish you for that later."

Brittany seems to tense at that, before slowly grinning. "Yes, Mistress Komi."

This is some kinky shit right here. Like… legitimately.

...I look over at Renko. She seems to have gotten more than she bargained for! "Okay…"

Maribel just has a grin on her face, unsure of how to react…!

Koi suddenly perks up! "Oi! Didn't, aa~h… didn't we see those girls who looked like us, that we blew up?"

...Brittany and Komi looked over at her, intrigued by the idea.

"Ma~n. We oughta find 'em again and fuck 'em." Koi smiles widely. "I always wanted to fuck myself!"

Freakin'... life is strange, yo.

"Well…" Scratching her cheek, Komi seems a bit more mellow 'cause of the affection. "Yeah, we could do that if we see them again." Looking over at me, she grins. "You're invited too, boy, even if your looks are a little rough. I'm sure you'd service us just as much as Brittany-chan has over here…"

Brittany gives me a solid look, and just mouths 'do it' to me. That moment when you try to peer pressure yourself, literally.

Koi stands up, leaning across the table at my soft friends. "You girls, too! We know how to make ya feel goo~d!"

Merry's brow twitches. "Haha, thanks, but u~h… I've had enough getting molested for awhile."

"I've had enough molesting for a while." Renko slouches, giving the table a dour stare…

Koi just giggles before plopping back down into her chair. "Aa~h… well, if ya ever change yer minds, I'm up for it any time!"

Namori speaks up! "Brad, have you had sex before?" Freakin'...!

I grin widely as I nod at her…! "I have sex once eve~ry half second…!"

"So you haven't." Namori smiles… before getting up and starting to walk around the table.

Yo no. As she rounds it, she keeps her eyes on me. "You know, I could… teach you a-"

"No~pe, nope nope." I hold up a leg to push her back incase she gets too close! "I know all I need to know, son!"

Namori pouts, stopping before she got within pushable distance. "Rea~lly? Haven't you ever thought about it, though?"

"That's a me thing, yo, that's a me thing…!" These fairies are sex fiends! This is nothing new but freakin'...!

Namori smirks. "But I want it to be a me thing, too~!" Since when did Namori try so hard!?

"No~ that's okay…!" I shake my head! "You do you, me do me."

"I do you?" Holy shit Namori…!

"Hehehe…" Brittany giggles. Hearing a voice almost like mine except feminine giggle is some spooky shit. "Leave him alone, Namori-chan. He's not as used to it as we are."

"But I wanna make him used to it…" Slowly, Namori meanders back around the table. "He's like… you, but uncorrupted."

I don't know how to feel about this, son, so I'm just gonna be super unresponsive…!

Matt looks over from the nearby table with the freakin' lolis. "You're a pimp now, son."

Freakin'! "Son, no one asked you…!"

We all glance over at Matt, but Brittany takes this moment to conversate with him! "...Hi~, Matt!" She waves at him!

...Matt seemingly looks her over. "Who the fuck are you."

Brittany grins, snorting. "Aaw. But it's me~, Leego." Hoh, shit, I remember that nickname!

...Matt looks around idly. "I need an adult."

"Don't listen to him, yo." I give my own advice! "He's a trap girl…!"

From over here, I see somethin' long and purple slowly sliding beneath the table's surface, visible through how the garden table's surface is more like interlocking painted metal and less of just a solid surface.

It's slowly progressing towards Remilia, who's just kinda sipping her tea as she passively observes our discussion…

The tendril slowly advances towards her… before it reaches up her skirt and pokes the inside of her leg-

"Ah- what!?" Springing up, Remilia kicked her legs!

Thud. Her chair fell backwards, plopping her on the floor behind it head first. The tendril had darted back 'cause of this activity.

All the fairy chicks're just watching her with bated breath, and so's my party.

Matt seems to be slowly trying to vacate the premise-

Fwoom! White and purple magic flares up under his form, causing him to look around without rhyme or reason. "Great…"

Remilia springs back up, her arms now on the table before we could even see anything!

...She looks at Shikome levelly. "Would you kindly get the hell out of here?"

Shikome tilts her head.

"As in…" Remilia points to the edge of the roof. "Jump off the roof, go over the fence, don't look back."

"I don't want to." Shikome replies aptly.

"No, no, that's quite alright." Remilia shoos her with a hand. "Shoo, shoo."

"No." Shikome shakes her head.

Aw. Loli conflicts, dude.

...Remilia glares at her. "You will. Your company is not desired at this moment."

"I thought I made myself clear. I will not move from this spot based on your petty whims." Yo ho ho. Shikome can speak pretentious, too!

"Fufufu~..." Remilia laughs. "What an amusing girl. If you do not leave by your own hand, it will be seen so."

I hear the sound of chairs pushing back. Looking over, I see the four maid girls are getting up and just freakin' vacating to the other side of the roof…

Renko and Maribel start to follow them hesitantly, too. Hoh, shit…! Maybe I should go, too!

"I seek no ordinance from anyone, especially not so from an unadulterated degenerate wight such as yourself." Shikome talks down to freakin' Remilia…!

Remilia grins at her. "Oho? Well, then. If you are so confident, then how about we dance?"

...Oh, it seems everyone 'cept Matt's also moving for the stairwell into the manor proper. I think I'll just do that, then! That, and this chapter has freakin'... had enough fighting! Good luck, Matt!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"You won't like Mistress Remilia when she's angry." Brittany prefaces as we march down the stairs back into the halls.

I think I could've told us that… oh, wait, I did. Wahaha! "Nah, I think we'd all like her when she's angry. She's rather nice when she's angry."

…Brittany just gives me a grin.

"Hah." Koi lets out a flat laugh. "Why don'cha go back up there and have her sit on ya, then?"

"Being sat on is not a common occurrence for me." I confess to her. I don't think getting sat on is one of my top priorities.

We reach the bottom of the staircase!

Koi starts to strafe closer to me… "I can fix that, buddy. Brittany-chan'd know, right Brittany-chan?"

"Koi-chan has a huge ass." Brittany's grin takes on a whole different meaning…!

Still panning her head around, Komi seems to take the lead for whatever reason. "...This place. It looks pretty much identical to our mansion."

Hoh. Probably 'cause it is…

"I bet our room's all undecorated." Brittany ventures. "The me here doesn't seem to really live here."

"Did you ever see us, in your home… dimension?" Maribel poses a question!

Brittany shakes her head. "Nope. I know who you are, but yeah."

...Tilting her head, Maribel expresses confusion. "How'd you know me if you never saw me?"

"...It's complicated." Brittany decides. Ho ho!

"Where're we goin'?" I have no fucking clue where Komi's taking us.

"We're going to check out our room- or, you know, what should be our room." She informs us. "...If it's in working order, we'll probably use it, too. It is pretty late."

Brittany has a half-smile at that. "Mmm~. So much for that cottage I packed."

...I blink at her. "You're carrying an entire goddamn cottage on you?"

"They're actually really tiny prior to setup." Brittany grins at me. "Like… it's a magic thing."

Oh, that makes sense. Freakin'... magic, yo.

"It is pretty late…" Maribel stretches fluffily. "Mnn~..."

"Why don'cha sleep with us?" Koi suddenly brushed up to Maribel's side, and wraps an arm around her waist. Since Koi's so short, it's like, her equivalent of wrapping an arm around Merry's shoulder.

"Ahah, no thanks." Gently, Maribel pushes the horny fairy away. "I'd rather not wake up to an orgy or something. Or to find Brittany naked and standing over my bed."

Brittany seems taken aback by this sudden call out. "I'd do what now?"

"Yeah, Brittany-chan." Still leading us down the hallway, Komi glances back to jeer at her lover. "You don't have to masturbate to women as they sleep. That's what you have us for…"

...Brittany folds her arms, enduring the teasing. Honh, honh…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

After way too long of just walking forward without progress, we reach a clearing…

It's like a big room that has a hallway cuttin' through the midst of it. Doors line the walls on either side of this large room, but the ceiling's still level with the hallway's.

Some generic furnishings- scarlet couches and rich mahogany end tables and the likes- decorated the clearing, but otherwise it was wide and barren.

"Wo~w…" Koi lets out a breath at this. "It's like we were never here, huh?"

"Huh." Komi's brows are furrowed. "...Yeah. Kinda weird…"

Namori and Brittany both dart up to a featureless door and swing it open, progressing into the room.

The other fairies jog after them, and me and my friends just meander after them in vague interest… and also the fact we're freakin' lost.

Walking in, I notice that it's a rather cozy room, actually. There's a big window in the back that apparently shows some section of the exterior wall and the foliage beyond it, and there's like three beds in here.

"...It's almost kind of sad." Namori looks around the room with a somber-ish expression.

"Right?" Brittany looks over at me disapprovingly. "...It's not gonna be used ever, probably."

Komi huffed, shaking her head. "Awful." Turning to me, she just glowers. "You better get your shit together."

I grin at her. "Son, it's a work to be employed, and we're all self-employed."

"...The fuck does that even mean?" Shaking her head, she starts moving towards the middle bed. "Whatever. Come, Brittany-chan." ...Oh geez she's rolling up her outfit too.

Brittany smiles, before she begins to remove her own maid outfit. "Okay, Komi-chan." Freakin'- wait for me to get out, will ya!?

Namori slides up beside me before heading for her own bed. "Now's your chance, Brit-... Brad." Saying my actual name seems to take deliberation! "Join them…!"

"I'm gonna shove fluffles down your shirt." I threaten her. "No, yo, no." I also don't think sleeping with myself would be a good idea… mostly 'cause one of us is gonna rape the other, and we're both gonna like it. Especially because she's mostly a girl now.

...I look at the door, and see Maribel and Renko very anxiously stayin' outside of it.

Namori latches onto my arm. "...Could you at least join me?" Jesus…! She's good at catching me off guard, which is sayin' something...!

"No~..." Get offa me, noob!

I start backin' out the door, but Namori keeps clingin' to my arm. "I won't do anything kinky. But- hey, c'mon…!" She starts tugging back as I try to retreat!

Moving up to help me, Maribel grabs onto my other arm! "No! We need our tour guide unmolested…!"

Renko moves to help her help me!

…Eventually, Namori stops applying as much pulling pressure. "I see how it is. Oka~y!" She lets go-

"Oof…" We all bump into one another. Freakin'...

Namori blows me a kiss. "Make sure you take care of them, Brad-kun."

"Take it easy, ya freakin' loon…!" I give Namori one of those grins as I shut the door!

Bam. Door is shut, son.

...

...Renko sighs. "Those fairies are a handful."

"Is dimension traveling something that always happens?" Maribel asks me with furrowed brows! "'Cause if it is, Gensokyo's crazier than I thought…"

I shake my head. "S'a first for me too, yo…" Ho ho ho. I don't really wanna fuck with those fairies either- literally and figuratively- 'cause they're freakin'... stupid powerful.

Well, unless you count travel to Makai or Haku-however-you-spell-the-place-Yuyuko-lives, or Higan and so forth… in that sense dimensional travel's not that new!

"Let's go find a room…" Renko decides, looking around idly…

"Follow me, yo!" I gesture for them to follow! "We might take one of the rooms close by 'cause these might have more beds than most generic rooms."

"Can't we just take any room?" With a raised brow, Renko moves after me.

Shakin' my head, I pick a door across the room from the one the horny fairies hunkered down in. "Na~h. This place's full 'a rapist fairies, and there's no garunteein' those chicks'll stay in their room all night either."

...Renko seems slightly more perturbed! "O~kay. This is different from Satori's place…"

Swingin' open the door, I fi~nd…! Hoh. It's a pretty cozy room. It's got three beds, too, and looks similar to the last, except it's got a dusty dresser in the room's rear, and

"Yeah." Maribel agrees with her friend as we continue into that room I found. "Last time I was here, a succubus tried to jump me... and this world's versions of those fairies."

"Succubus?" Renko stopped walking towards a bed to glance at Merry. "Do I even wanna know?"

"No." Shaking her head, Maribel plopped into one of the generic beds. "Aa~h… basically, we hit it until it stopped."

"Oh, okay." Giving up, Renko flopped onto the bed she was nearing before and succumbed to it. "Nnh…"

...Reaching through my bag 'a tricks, I pull out the London operating cross! Pointin' it at the floor, I use up some mana~...

...Oo~f. Even this far in my progression, it makes me feel like I freakin' died inside.

London floats in through the open bedroom door, and stops before me.

Again, I aim the cross. This time, I aim it at the crevice between Renko's bed and the front door. "There, yo." I press the red button on the cross!

London navigates to the corner. Now if any rapists step in, the moment they go through the door they'll get their day fucked up.

Oh, yeah. "London, if ya see anyone who isn't me, the girls in these beds, or a fairy wit' specifically cyan hair, fuck 'em."

London swings her lance idly. Wahaha!

...Yeah, I'm pooped.

Sprinting 'round Renko's bed, I jog over to the bed a little ways down from it and roll into it-

Oo~h. Sweet relief, man. Aaa~h… I can feel my heart beating, for some reason. Was I really that freakin'... caught up in what I was doing? Oof.

As I lie there, staring at the ceiling, sleep takes me quickly.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 66

PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Holder of Too Many Titles.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Hard Winter - A earth/ice-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice! Allows the user to cast Ice Shard. Extends combo length by one artificially. Allows the user to jump out out of combos smoothly, and leave frost in their trail.

INVENTORY:

[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…

==o==

WEAPONS:

Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.

Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.

Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!

Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.

Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.

Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...

Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.

Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!

Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.

Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!

Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!

NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.

NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…

==o==

ARMOR:

Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!

Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!

Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!

Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred percent ice resistance, and as such renders me immune to all magical ice damage. Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt me with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides me a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...

Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.

Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! One hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent freezing resistant. Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it. Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.

Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' helmet. Fifty percent blinding resistant! When worn with the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit, it also confers immunity to burning and poison, along with another one hundred percent electricity resistance. Yo…!

Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes! Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.

MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range!

==o==

CONSUMABLES/OTHER:

Forty one thousand, two hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!

Seven Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…

Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!

Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!

Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...

WebDings Book about Foreign Juices - Wahaha! This better fetch a price on the market!

Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.

Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!

Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!

PARTY:

London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!

PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.

==o==

Maribel Hearn, the University Student

WEAPON: Porcelain Mirror - A plant hanger made with curiously chrome materials. Reflects small projectiles it hits. Allows the user to cast Reflect. May cast Reflect with certain skills.

INVENTORY:

[Suitcase] - Holds her stuff. Gives five inventory spaces!

Drawings - Her drawing stuff!

Writing Utensils - Crayons, pencils, pens… hoh hoh!

Dreamcatcher - A holy hanger. May cast Talisman Seal on impact. Casts Talisman Seal with certain skills. Boosts the power of holy skills. Grants fifty percent resistance to syphoning and cursing.

Cast-Iron Plant Hanger - A sturdy plant hanger made of solid metal.

Umbrella - It helps stop the dreaded sky water.

[MP Prize Pin] - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range! Uses no inventory space when worn.

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==o==

Renko Usami, the University Student

WEAPON: Counterweight - Black and gold scissors, with elaborate handles. Every enemy on the field increases combo length by one attack. Every enemy on the field increases jump height and defense by .3x, starting at a base of 1.0x with one enemy. Twenty five percent space resistance granted. User is immune to shoe-glue status when enemies are present. When equipped with no enemies on the field, inflicts shoe-glue status, preventing the user from jumping.

OFFHAND: Umbrella - It helps stop the dreaded sky water.

==o==

INVENTORY:

Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!

Sunfire Scissors - Casts Sunfire Flare on impact. Boosts the power of Sun elemental attacks.

[MP Prize Pin] - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range! Uses no inventory space when worn.

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==o==

ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:

hi world

man that was a lotta fighting wasn't it

still i think it turned out aight; i purposefully went over with some of the other interactions to make up for the tons and tons of combat, but even so things just kinda turned out how they turned out

wanted a little more interaction with BRITTANY but we can do that next chapter a bit; especially where interramagations are concerned - w -

i was hyped up for this moment for AWHILE but after execution i dunno how well i did

i feel like the fight with brittany coulda been shortened but y'know i think it was okay for what it was

the fight with shikome vs the fairies should be varied enough to not be overly confusing, in my opinion, at least if someone pays close attention; i took care to look it over and make sure it read coherently and wasn't too vague

if you wanna modify how short/long/often fight scenes are though you gotta drop a review and speak ta me…! i ain't no psyker, yo!

oh yeah i've also got some remasters of the earlier chapters of this fic in the works 'cause enough was enough and i thought they were really really bad and needed help

so yeah - w -

as always, see you all next time!