Chapter Nine
Jasper
Maggie checked nervously on Bella every half hour throughout the night although I could have told her that her charge was sleeping peacefully. All her fear for her unborn child now lay in my chest and I could feel the infant's gratitude. When Bella had been frightened her child had sensed it and became fearful too. Now it lay at peace, but I sensed it would not be long before things changed. The child was eager to greet its mother, to see the world, even, dare I say it, to meet me.
The snow had been falling hard now for several hours and when I went outside to bring in more logs all track to the cabin had disappeared. Someone would have to feed and water the livestock soon but neither Maggie nor I were willing to leave Bella.
I placed fresh logs on the fire and set a kettle to boil. Maggie was living on strong coffee these days.
She turned to me and nodded, "Thank you, Jasper. I don't think we have much time. I can feel it in my bones. Would you please see to the livestock? You can do it and be back much more quickly than me."
It was the first time she had alluded to my vampire traits so openly and I nodded somewhat reluctantly.
"Bring fresh milk and eggs, will you. We're almost out."
"Sure. Just stay close to Bella, Maggie."
She smiled at me, "You know I will. Now go on. I need you back here as soon as possible. I'm not sure I can manage this on my own."
That was some admission coming from her!
It took me barely an hour to feed the cow, milk it and give it fresh water and straw bedding, muck out the horse and give it fresh hay and water and then feed the chickens and collect the eggs although it felt much longer. I would have been faster but a cow can only be milked by hand so fast, for her own safety. I was stressed out being so far from Bella but these chores needed doing. The animal's welfare was our responsibility after all, whatever the circumstances.
I also picked up some more blankets and coffee from Maggie's place and made my way back to the cabin. As it came in sight I heard a scream and raced inside throwing my bundle down only to see the bedroom door open and Maggie standing over Bella.
Another scream and a violent pain almost made me stagger. This was it, Bella was in labor, it was time.
I felt suddenly helpless. I had no idea what they needed me to do.
"What do you need?"
"Nothing right now, Jasper. Just keep the coffee coming for me and keep the fire high. It's so cold I don't want Bella getting a chill."
I paced from stove to fire soaking up some of Bella's pain while still monitoring the baby. It was excited but scared too, hearing the screams of pain. How confusing it must be for such a child. Desperate to be born but fearful of the pain it was causing its mother. I tried to calm the little one too but it was difficult to do so much all at once.
When the noises subsided, Maggie beckoned me in, "Bella's asking for you."
"How is she?"
"She's worried, scared, and in pain. I know you're helping her but she's more concerned for the baby. Reassure her, please."
I went in and tried to smile through my shock. Bella looked dreadful. She was so white that her eyes looked like dark bruises against it. She was tearful and her knuckles were sticking out as she grabbed the blankets.
Seeing me she began to speak although her voice was hoarse.
"I can't do this, Jasper. I'm not strong enough. Edward was rig…"
I shook my head, I wasn't going to let her down now.
"Bella, you've already done it. You carried your baby and soon you'll have the infant in your arms. You will both be fine. I'm here for you both. We can do this together. Take my hand and let me help you."
Tears were rolling down her cheeks and I wiped them away as she stretched out and took my hand. As my fingers closed around hers careful not to hurt her she smiled, "You're always there to help me. I wish you could always be here for us."
From the corner of my eye, I saw Maggie smile and with a nod, she backed out and closed the door softly.
I locked eyes with her, "I will. Bella. I'm not going anywhere, not ever."
As she opened her mouth to speak again a wave of agony shot through her and I sucked in as much as I could. The scent of blood filled my nostrils but I swallowed down the venom that pooled in my mouth and I knew it would not come back. I could never hurt this woman, I loved her and the child she was even now struggling to bring into this world.
Maggie came running back in and looked at me warily. I could see that she was worried about how I would react to the smell of fresh human blood and hurried to reassure her.
"It's OK, I can control myself. I won't hurt her."
She rolled her eyes, "Oh, I know that. I'm just worried you won't be able to take the birth. If you want to leave, go now."
I shook my head, "I'm fine. We can do this together."
The next couple of hours were hard on Bella and she was beginning to tire. Maggie glanced at me and I saw how worried she was, "Can't you help her more? Give her some strength? I'm afraid she's becoming too tired to push and there's no one here competent to perform a caesarean unless it's one of your hidden talents. If so, now would be a really good time to fess up."
I understood what she was saying. If Bella didn't deliver her baby soon then both mother and infant would probably die. I concentrated on giving all I could to Bella.
All I was aware of was her hand squeezing mine so tightly I thought she would break some bones and her pain and the confused emotions of the baby who was fighting as hard to be born as its momma was to bring it into the world.
I must have lost concentration momentarily because Maggie shook my shoulder.
"Jasper. It's over."
I opened my eyes and looked up to see Maggie holding something wrapped in a blanket.
"Bella has a daughter. You take her into the other room and sit quietly for a moment while I sort Bella out."
I looked at the tiny form in the blanket and took it gingerly. I was terrified to be holding such a fragile creature.
"Is Bella OK?"
"I'll be OK, Jasper. Look after my little miracle."
I glanced down at Bella who looked like death warmed up but blissfully happy, "Take care of her like you take care of me."
I nodded, "The promise I made to you applies to her too. She's so beautiful."
The feel of the warm little body close to my chest gave me a thrill I could hardly contain. I took her to the fire and sat down careful to hold her securely and gazed down into her face. It was like looking into Bella's eyes. They were the same deep brown and they gazed back at me with more than a little recognition. I knew this wasn't normal for a human baby, not this amount of understanding, but then this baby was most unusual. She seemed to recognize the one who had connected with her in the womb.
I didn't know much about newborn babies, I had been eleven when my mother died giving birth to my youngest sister, Mercy, but I was pretty sure they didn't usually lay so contentedly. Weren't babies supposed to cry? As if she understood, the infant wrinkled her face and gave a single wail then watched to see what I would do. This child was unnerving me.
As we sat by the fire listening to the wind howl outside I saw her eyes close and soon she was sleeping contentedly as I rocked her gently to and fro.
Half an hour went by before Maggie joined us and I could see the concern in her eyes. I was sure it was mirrored in my own.
"Is Bella OK? You've been so long."
"She will be. She's sore, exhausted and emotional."
She peered at the babe in my arms smiling warmly, "You seem to have a way with babies, Jasper."
I looked down at my charge, suddenly feeling self-conscious, "Like her mom, she's exhausted. Will you take her? I'd like to check on Bella."
I handed the sleeping infant to Maggie and went through to the bedroom. The smell of blood was almost gone and Bella lay with her hair freshly brushed half asleep looking pale and washed out. She still managed a smile when she saw me.
"Is my little one OK, Jasper?"
I nodded, "She's sleeping peacefully. I'll bring her in shortly but Maggie thought you should rest first and possibly even have something to eat? Apparently, her beef broth is a great pick me up."
She smiled and I caught my breath, Bella had never looked so beautiful.
"Jasper?"
I sat on the edge of the bed careful not to jolt her sore body and she took my hand in hers. It felt like a swallow's wing, soft, warm, and so very fragile.
"Promise me that you'll protect her. I won't lose her, I couldn't bear that."
"You already have my word. If it's within my power the little one will be safe."
"Thank you. I think I'd like to see her now. I couldn't sleep until I feel her in my arms and know that this isn't a dream."
I nodded, "Sure." Then without thinking I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, "You did well, Bella."
"We did well. I couldn't have done it without you."
Having heard us Maggie brought the infant in and handed her to her eager mother.
Bella cradled her daughter against her breast singing to her softly until her eyes began to shut. Then she handed the little one to me and she was asleep in moments.
Deciding to leave the new mom to sleep in peace I took a now wide awake and wriggling bundle into the kitchen.
"I think this little one is getting hungry and Bella's asleep."
Maggie nodded, stirring what smelled like something dead but was probably her famous broth.
"Well, this is our first hurdle. What do we give this little one?"
I frowned, "Formula? Isn't that what you usually give babies if they aren't breastfeeding?"
Maggie grinned, "You're very knowledgeable for a man who's been a vampire most of his days."
I shrugged, "I might have read a little on the subject and there's lots about it on the TV."
"I never took you for the type of guy who watched TV."
I grinned, "Busted. It was the books. Anyhow, what did you feed your baby, Maggie?"
She sighed and took the little one from me, rocking her as she began a low grizzle, "All I had was my milk but I don't think it was enough. Carlisle didn't know either. So I guess we'll start with the formula." Here you go."
She handed me the baby and a bottle of warm milk and watched with amusement as I settled myself on a kitchen chair and tried offering the bottle to the now crying baby. I knew she was waiting for me to fail and hand the chore over but she stood no chance. Bella's little one and I were in this together and she began to suckle almost immediately.
I glanced up at Maggie, "That's a good sign isn't it?"
Maggie smiled and nodded encouragingly, "Yes, it is. Especially as Bella is in no fit state to feed her baby at the moment."
I frowned and the little one wriggled uneasily picking up my mood so I soothed her before continuing our conversation.
"She's just tired, isn't she?"
"Well yes, but she lost a lot of blood. It wasn't an easy birth even with your help. I hope my gift can keep hiding her because she's in no state to travel and won't be for days, maybe weeks."
"They'll be safe, I'll see to that if necessary."
She patted me on the shoulder, "I know that. You're a very unusual man, Jasper Whitlock. I wish I'd had a friend like you when I was in Bella's position. Carlisle was wonderful but you…"
Maggie and I had reached an understanding. She no longer viewed me as a monster and I was grateful for all she did for Bella and the little one. We were becoming friends.
Day by day Bella grew stronger and delighted in her daughter. For the first few days after the birth, she was confined to bed by Maggie who told her that she needed to build up her strength. Although she protested at first she was very weak and slept a lot of the time.
When I inquired whether this was normal for a new mom Maggie burst into laughter.
"Jasper, nothing about Bella is normal. Nothing about her baby is normal. We are writing the guidebook as we go along."
I smiled, she was right of course but I hated to see Bella like this because she was desperate to be up and about with her newborn. As it was the two would sit for hours with Bella singing softly to her child or telling her stories made up of the adventures of the carved animals from the mobile that hung above her crib.
She was somewhat depressed when the little one refused to breastfeed although I thought that was probably for the best. After all, this child was part vampire. Who knew what it might do if it scented Bella's blood so close to its mouth. Something told me that the infant was aware of this and was protecting Bella just as she had protected her daughter.
I was content to spend my days in their company after completing my chores on the farm. The blizzard had turned into a vicious winter storm and Maggie was unable to go outside for long. It was far too cold for any human. she had moved into the cabin full-time and I was grateful. It meant Bella would never be alone.
As I was feeding the chickens one day it suddenly occurred to me that it was Christmas Eve. It didn't mean a lot to me but I was determined that my charges and Maggie would celebrate. It was Bella's first Christmas as a mother, the first with her little daughter and although the little one was too young to understand it was still time to start making memories.
I made my preparations and sent the girls into the bedroom for a 'rest' while I decorated the small sitting room with a pine tree I had cut down and some small decorations made from the offcuts of my carving, pine cones and some baking foil I found lying around. There were no lights but I put a few candles around the tree and turned off the oil lamps.
There was a sudden lump in my throat. The scene had taken me back to my childhood Christmases when I was a little boy, singing carols with my mamma and wondering if I would get a wooden horse I told my pa that I wanted. I hadn't had such a vivid image of my human life in decades and the feelings of love and loss were almost too much to bear. It had been the last Christmas before my mamma died, the last we ever shared as a complete family.
Shaking off the sentiments, I called for the girls to join me and sat back to watch their expressions and feel their emotions.
First came Maggie who looked around and nodded to me. It was almost as if she had fully expected me to pull off some festive magic.
Then Bella was in the doorway, holding the little one close to her chest. She was dressed in a simple white shift dress that grazed the floor, her long hair tumbling around her shoulders. To me, she looked like an angel.
Her face lit up and she turned the little one to look at the tree.
"Look, firefly, a Christmas tree. It's beautiful, Jasper. I'd lost track of time."
Bella still hadn't decided on a name for her daughter. I think she was afraid to tempt fate after Maggie's sad story so we used the nickname I had given her. Firefly, because she lit up our lives.
"I thought we should probably celebrate. It is Christmas Eve."
Little Firefly stretched out a hand towards the tree and stroked a branch giggling as the needles tickled her skin.
"Here, stand by the tree and I'll take a photograph of you. You too, Maggie."
The three girls sat down on the floor with the tree behind them and I prayed there was enough light for a photograph as I snapped two shots.
Showing them to Bella she smiled up at me, "And still I seem to be thanking you, Jasper. It's become a habit."
She turned to Maggie, "Would you take a photograph of us with Jasper? It wouldn't be right if you were left out, Jasper."
I handed my phone to Maggie and sat beside Bella with one arm around her, then Firefly stretched her hand out to take my fingers.
"You had to have a souvenir of Firefly's first Christmas. Hopefully, we can get some copies printed when this is all over. And just to ruin the atmosphere completely as we don't have any music and the batteries in the radio are dead I thought I might play some Christmas songs for you."
I pulled out a guitar I'd seen in a second-hand shop and bought on a whim, from where I'd hidden it behind a chair, and began to strum. Firefly struggled in her momma's arms until she was facing me. She'd been on this earth just a few short weeks yet already her hair was growing long and she was aware of everything although she was yet to sit up unaided or crawl. It was obvious she was going to grow quickly, just as Maggie had foretold.
"So, what would you like to hear?"
I started with one from my childhood, Silent Night, then Away in a Manger and other carols. It was peaceful and companionable here singing together with the little one listening and waving her hands if we stopped for too long. She quite obviously was not going to be a music critic if she enjoyed the noise we made!
When the girls stopped for dinner I babysat, telling my little charge about Christmases when I was little and giving her some milk although she wasn't as eager to drink tonight. Instead, after half her usual amount she pushed the bottle away and fell asleep in my arms.
