(it's MATT TIME ONCE AGAIN FOLKS) (this batch's game rotation is MATT, BRAD BRAD BRAD, and MATT AGAIN)
Standing some distance from the unoccupied garden tables, I watch Shikome and Remilia begin to rise from their white, dinky chairs…
Remilia smirks from across the table, slightly adjusting her outfit with her hands. "How shall we have it, then? Play pretend, or will we actually have a little fun here?"
"...We'll have fun alright. We'll have fun after I desecrate your voluptuous remains." Shikome's words were delivered bluntly.
...Smiling, Remilia rose a brow as she looked over herself. "You may have used one of those words wrong, there. Even so…"
Drifting into the air, Remilia's previously contained wings revealed themselves to be larger. "Let us dance, silly girl."
In this moment, a column of light grew from beneath the vampire, and enveloped her. As it began to close, her form faded out. "Fufufu~..." Her voice seemingly came from all directions as she vanished.
...I look over at the Rumia splayed out on the table. Perhaps I should do something about that...
Parting from her chair properly, Shikome walked out onto the roof's midst, scanning her surroundings for any sign of the vampire…
A rather obvious column of light appeared across the rooftop, Remilia appearing in the middle of it. She spread one arm and wing outward towards Shikome. "Hellfire!"
Fwoom. Three fireballs spread out from the vampire's form in a vertical line, moving slowly towards Shikome…
Shikome stepped to the side of them, giving them an idle glance.
They fizzled out some distance past her, probably so that they wouldn't ignite anything down the way.
...After allowing a quiet moment, Shikome sprinted towards Remilia-
"Fufufu~..." Encompassed by the column of light again, the vampire vanished, leaving Shikome alone on the portion of roof.
...She looked to her right, and began moving there before Remilia appeared.
"Ooh…?" The vampire's voice was audible, though her form not visible. "Fufufu~..."
...In the next moment, Shikome stopped. She looked to the left, then the right, then turned around and looked behind herself.
"Hahaha~..." What seemed like afterimages or clones of Remilia flickered in and out of existence across the entire rooftop.
...Then, Remilia appeared for real in the air over the roof. "That life stealing aura about you. It's stronger than the last time we met."
Glancing up at her, Shikome just stares at her for a moment before running to position herself beneath her. Once she got there, she leapt-
Remilia faded out, leaving Shikome to land.
Clack. As her sandals loudly clicked against the wooden roof, she was already looking around for the little loli vampire…
Remilia really likes to toy around, doesn't she…
Appearing on an unremarkable section of roof behind Shikome, Remilia spreads out a wing and an arm again. "Dark Inferno!"
One at a time, orbs of what looked like magma generated before Remilia, accelerating outward towards Shikome.
Easily leaping over the first one, and simply walking around the second, she closed in on the vampire-
Woosh. Shikome attempted to extend a tendril directly into Remilia's face, which the vampire swiftly evaded-
Woosh. She tried again to puncture Remilia, this time in the stomach, but the vampire dodged with a very precarious looking sideways flip, landing on her feet within the same second.
...Shikome gives Remilia a regular punch to the face.
Wham! The blow makes the vampire throw her head to the side, only vaguely staggered.
"Fufufu~..." She disappears into a pillar of light a moment later, not very affected by the punch to the face.
Shikome folded her arms.
"I suppose this is getting a little droll…" Remilia states the obvious.
She appears many feet behind Shikome, this time skipping the redundant pillar of light step.
Shikome turns around to face her-
Spreading an arm and a wing out, Remilia casts another spell. "Hellfire!"
Fwofwofwofwoom! Instead of a simple three fireball spread, this time a jet of flames comprised of many fireballs flowed forth from the vampire.
It took slightly more deliberation, but Shikome was able to dart to the side of the jet of flames akin to how she avoided the three fireballs from before.
I should get some popcorn. Maybe they'll start fighting by the time I get back.
Remilia appeared again, this time not terribly far behind Shikome. The cheek Shikome punched earlier was now unmarred, not even a mark left on her porcelain skin to hint at the blow dealt.
Pivoting around on her heel, Shikome moved towards her-
Remilia thrust an arm out. "Bat Moon!"
From the vampire's being came a massive swarm of bats, which rushed out and upwards, catching Shikome as she roared towards the vampire.
...The massive rush of flapping bats served to juggle Shikome into the air, but not actually hurt her much.
After a brief moment of tenseness, Shikome aimed her arm downwards.
Fwoom- fwoom- fwoom- fwoom! With some articulation of her hand, she rapidly casted fireballs down into the swarm of annoying bats.
The blasts of fire destroyed bats at a rate that was far outpaced by the generation of bats. Then-
Remilia vanished, the bat swarm ceasing and the survivors roaring off into the distant darkness.
...I begin to hear the roar of an engine. Hmm…? Why exactly would... oh, right.
Looking in the direction of the noise, I see headlights accelerating towards the roof of the manor.
Remilia appears again, this time high up in the air with her arms folded. "...Hmm. Your projectiles are quite apt. You seem more endured than the last time we met. Perhaps I shouldn't be so patronizing, then..."
Fwoom. Shikome idly lobs a fireball at her.
Fwam. Remilia's wing blocks it. "...Could use improvement."
The roar of what must be Byakuren's motorbike begins to grow louder.
Remilia furrows her brows, looking around. "What is that?"
...The headlights dip low, before fading into the darkness beneath the manor's airspace.
...Cla~ng! That sounds like the gate being slammed open.
"Wha~h!?" That sounds like Meiling yelling.
...
Vroo~m! Byakuren's bike suddenly shoots straight up, passing the front rail of the manor's roof as it ascends.
Remilia and Shikome watch it blankly as it begins to shift over the roof of the manor, and descend again…
Bam. It lands hard, albeit not as hard as it could have, parking itself atop the roof. Byakuren is indeed on it, although from my angle I can't really make out her face. It's not that bright up here, either, so the headlights are obscuring everything.
"Hijiri…" Remilia speaks up, but doesn't look like she knows what to expect. "This isn't free parking. Take your smelly bicycle elsewhere. I'm having a moment here, I'll have you know."
"I'm sorry." Byakuren apologizes. "But, there is simply something I can't leave be."
"It may be visiting hours, but the answer is probably no." Remilia instantly guns her down. "Go play with the fairies while you wait or something. Talk with Patchy about mage stuff."
"I'm sorry." Apologizing again, Byakuren revs up her bike. "I'll leave once I'm done."
...Remilia blinks twice. "If you want to fight me, you'll have to wait your turn. Maybe schedule an appointment."
...Ignoring her, Byakuren's bike begins to accelerate, moving towards Shikome.
Shikome prepares four tendrils in anticipation, although Byakuren doesn't drive straight towards her. Instead, she passes her, before using her leg to loop around and-
Woosh. Shikome leapt to avoid being hit by the bike, passing straight over the buddhist gangster.
...I start to slide out my Danger Scissors. This is a fun encounter, but it could be more fun. I also want to see what nightmares will spawn with these three in the vicinity.
Bam- clank, clank! Byakuren is suddenly not on her bike. It eventually falls over, skidding to a stop.
…
Thu-thud. A moment later, Byakuren flies out from around the edge of the clock tower some ways down the roof and lands on her back. "Ah- ah…?"
...Did the scissors just spawn Byakuren while we were next to her? Good. That's great.
"Woa~h!" From the door the others retreated into to get back into the manor, a stout girl stumbled out. She was short, nearly naked barring a cloak and panties, and had pigtailed blonde hair. "Whah- where…?"
...Loli.
Thoom.
From above, a being with a dark color palette landed, although it had some white patterns along its body. It was very obviously inhuman despite its humanoid figure.
As it stood, it seemed to bear resemblance to a priest of some kind, a large burgundy and white tower design comprising its head. It had a long bell bottom-esque… design, like the kind a priest would wear. Unlike what a priest might wear, it was made of what seemed like white and burgundy skin, almost plastic in appearance.
The body itself had white and burgundy plating- in consistency with the rest of it- but also black parts which revealed that it was in some sense mechanical.
Along its hip was what looked like a pistol, but considering how much of the being's a confusing mess, I can't really tell if it's a pistol or just some accessory… well, it has the trigger and handle a pistol would. At the same time, it has the same color pallette as the being… but more brown.
Along its back was a large spear-looking device. One end had a pointy if ornate tip, bearing a circle in the midst of it that went straight through, and one end looked more like a prod of some kind, or perhaps some kind of projectile generator. Looks useful for poking things.
…
Remilia sighed. "I know I'm popular, but…"
She looked over at the new loli who just walked onto the roof, before looking at the thing with furrowed brows. "What… exactly are you supposed to be?"
...The being looks around, before jumping in place, doing a forward flip as it jumps a second time.
Remilia blinks, propping her arms onto her hips. "...That's not an answer. No, that's not an answer at all."
Then, she looks over at the half-naked loli. "You there. Young vampire."
"Ah- aah…?" The loli- vampire, apparently- looks up at Remilia. "Oh, uhm…"
The almost indescribable being does another double jump, flipping on its second jump before landing. After that, it begins jogging around for no discernable reason.
"Surely you know where you are." Remilia drifts towards the young vampire. "It's not common practice to wander onto another vampire's property. Especially one as young as you."
I slide the danger scissors away. This is enough danger for today.
Byakuren begins to meander back towards us, her gaze still on Shikome…
Shikome's gaze is on the strangely mechanical yet biological being.
My gaze is on Remilia.
…
Sighting the clock tower, as indicated by its movements, the curious being pivots around in a three-sixty circle, runs towards it, and leaps-
Woash! Instead of a normal double jump it seems to twirl into the air-
Woo~sh… It kicks in the air, which somehow slows its descent drastically as it closes in on the clock tower.
Byakuren passes it. She stops to give it a curious stare as it soars over her…
Eventually it reaches the clock tower, and begins scaling it with some kind of repeated leap along the side of the wall…
"How young are you?" Remilia looms over the fellow loli.
"Uhm…" The young one fidgets about. "...I- I think about twenty?"
Remilia's brow twitches. "...You think about twenty. Good enough. Do you know who I am?"
Glancing away, the vampire eventually rested her gaze on Remilia. "A vampire?"
...Remilia's stare is dry. "Well, yes, that goes without question- I mean, identity. My name."
The other loli nods slowly. "Mistre~ss… master… girl?"
...Remilia just looks extremely jaded.
Well, this is probably the most peaceful random encounter so far. No one's gouged each other's eyes out yet.
...After reaching the top of the clock tower, the being seemed to have leapt right off of it, allowing itself to plummet to the roof-
Thoom. It lands similarly to how it spawned, plopping down on the roof hard but not hard enough to so much as damage the wood beneath itself, a feat for the height it fell.
This action attracts the attention of everyone on the rooftop, but Remilia returns to focusing on the loli…
Shikome stares at it again, as does Byakuren.
...After doing another unexplainable three-sixty in place, it moved up to Shikome, not entirely lined up to proceed straight towards her. Instead, it almost beelines towards her in a way, jogging in uneven segments, making uneven, oddly angled turns.
Leaning in, Shikome gave it an examining stare…
The being leans over Shikome in turn, curious as to her existence as well.
…
Shikome draws two tendrils from behind her back, and sends them forward-
They roll off the creature's flank, a faint blue aura cluing in on the fact it may have shields of some form.
Immediately, the semi-bionic being backflips away with great agility, whipping a glowing-tipped thurible out of nowhere and twirling it along its side-
Shi-shi-shink! Thin chains roar out from the rooftop around Shikome, latching around her form-
"Nnh…!?" Her muscles tense, her body almost jerking down into the floor as she tries to resist…
Landing, the being smoothly draws what I suspected was a pistol from its waist, aiming it at Shikome-
Pow!
Shikome's head whips back, struck dead on by the bullet.
Pow- pow- pow- pow- pow- pow! The figure proceeds to randomly fire into her torso.
Bam! The chains succeed making her collapse to the ground, before retracting.
Remilia was now watching the being with sharp eyes. "...Modern firearms, hmm?"
...Byakuren was blinking in disbelief.
"Wh- whah…? So loud…" The blonde vampire loli rubbed her ears, looking around in aimless confusion.
Well. That… just happened.
Floating down with slight intrigue, Remilia folds her arms as she nears the being. "You're not very civil, are you? Pulling a gun and shooting where you please."
...The being turns towards her, looking around, before aiming its pistol up at her, slowly lining up its shot.
Remilia narrowed her eyes, red light subtly flaring up from within. "If you fire, it will be the worst decision you've ever made."
From here, I could see Shikome's still form on the floor. Her wounds were slowly beginning to close, including the one in her forehead…
So she's not dead. I was almost pissed, there.
Quietly, I move towards her body-
Pow!
Remilia's head is kicked back, a bullet entering her skull-
Pow!
Before the next bullet strikes her, her form dissipates into scarlet mist.
...The being looks around, rotating three-sixty again-
Wham!
The being's thrown across the roof by a punch, Remilia revealed to be right behind where it previously was. I could feel the wind from the blow from over here…
Blood was running down the vampire's face, her other arm clutching her forehead. "Hehehaha~!"
As it stops skidding, shackles and thin chains like the ones it attacked Shikome with began to latch onto itself-
Cra~ng! Shattering the chains, the being twirls into the air, spinning around as pale energy flows out from it and into a circular storm around it. Eerie whispering noises can also be heard from the being during this.
...Eerie's not a great descriptive word, but I don't know how else you'd describe it. Spooky ghost noises?
Remilia's form vanishes entirely. No fade, no pillar of light, no mist, just gone.
Wham! Across the roof, Remilia lands a solid blow on the bionic thing, but nothing seems to happen-
Fwa-fwam! Two thick scarlet lasers erupt from nowhere, intersecting the being's form.
I lift Shikome's form off the floor. There is no blood- none that belongs to her, anyway.
The vampire loli from before was now hiding in the doorframe again, likely terrified.
With Shikome in arms, I look back at the table where Rumia's resting. Jogging over to it, I see Byakuren start to silently jog towards us as well…
Remilia's now in the air, examining the thing. "What is this? Some sort of protection magic?"
The creature aims up at her again.
Pow!
Remilia is gone before the bullet hits her, appearing somewhere else in the sky.
Reaching the table, I contemplate plopping Shikome onto Rumia and carrying both, but I doubt I have anywhere near the arm capacity to do that.
Byakuren reaches us. "Hey…"
Screw off.
What the hell do I...
Awkwardly bringing my leg up, I try to kick Rumia in the side.
Thunk. "Mmrm…" She rolls over of her own accord. Kicking is not easy with a loli in my arms.
"Give her to me." Byakuren holds open her arms, eyes urgent. "I'll help."
Fuck off.
Bringing my leg up again, I kick Rumia once more-
Thud. The force pushes her to the side of the table enough that it tips over and spills her off. "Awa~h…"
"You can't take both." Byakuren insists, her face hardening. "I'm only trying to help you…"
Bullshit.
Pow- pow, pow! The being is still fruitlessly firing at Remilia, who just keeps darting about in the sky.
...Rumia starts to get up. "Wha~h?"
Moving next to her, I half-crouch. "We need to go. Now."
"Look..." Byakuren frowns, positioning herself next to me. "I just want to get her help. Nothing will improve if you cannot atone, or at least admit to your errors. I am not here to hurt you."
Looking over at Byakuren, I scowl despite my mask. "I know priests, and priests fuck little children. Now go away."
...Byakuren just raises her eyebrows, seemingly caught off guard.
Rumia floats up, and I catch her attention. "Rumia, follow me and there will be friends and food."
She blinks. "Oka~y!"
"You don't understand." Byakuren grabs my shoulder as I move to leave. "She's hurting. You have no idea, leaving this problem alone."
"Hurting just like when you tried to kill us." I snap back.
Considering her grip's not loosening, I slip an arm off of Shikome to reach for my black scissors…
Byakuren turns me around, and looks me in the eyes. "Do you want to fix this?"
...The force she exerts on my shoulders is ironically useful for positioning my off-hand to equip myself. Less strain on my own muscles.
Taking a deep breath, I consider her grip. It's probably loose enough to not hurt me…
I wiggle a little, and only then does she tighten slightly, before loosening it again. "Do you want to fix this?" She asks me again.
...I stare at her for a second.
…
After a moment of silence- and gunfire in the background but we don't talk about that- Byakuren's hands slide down my arms. "You can-"
"Nope." I slide backwards.
With that, I elude her grasp, slipping out from between her hands.
"Rumia!" I yell for her to follow us, just in case, and start to bolt towards the door where the vampire loli was ducking out in.
"Come back!" Byakuren bolts towards me with enough force to make the roof shudder with each pound of her boots.
Sliding forward, I shamble and stumble towards the door, unsure whether or not I'm a step ahead of her or if she's staying just behind me, waiting for me to tire.
Within seconds- which seem like minutes- I reach the door, throw myself into the candle-lit interior, and position myself to move for the stairs.
This moment of relent I take nearly lets my legs slide out from beneath myself, but I keep my balance.
"Who're you…!?" Vampire loli is here, therefore there is no need to fear.
"...Follow me. We're being hunted. You too." I start moving for the stairs.
"What!?" She starts to move after us. "What do you-"
Rumia flies into the door behind us, and starts floating ahead of us down the stairs.
Right after, Byakuren stomps inside, the hall shaking as she enters.
Fwoom! The status effect enchantment on me causes me to stagger, which is nothing new because I'm already staggering. I'm also damp, tired, weak, cursed, and probably ten different variants of syphoned, but that really doesn't matter right now.
Against better judgement, I slide forward, throwing myself against the guardrail of the stairs as I half slide, half free fall.
My clumsy movement almost lends to me getting thrown off the rail and onto the midst of the declining stairs, but the vampire loli notices my falling posture and darts in to correct it. "Woa- hey! Watch out!" That, or we just fell into her. Either way…
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, and falling onto my knees, I continue sliding forward on said knees.
Ow, ow, ow. After this endeavor I may need a wheelchair, because my knees are crying.
Bam! Byakuren leapt down the entire flight of stairs, traveling in our wake.
"Oo~h…!" The vampire loli realizes just how much of a threat she is, and seems conflicted about what to do…
"Sca~ry nun lady!" Rumia knows what's up.
Like this, we continue to shamble down the hall like a bunch of assholes for a few minutes, furniture being knocked aside behind us and Byakuren likely leaving imprints on the carpet-
Thu-thu-thunk.
…
We're all stopped in place. Knives embed me to the wall by my clothes.
The vampire loli is caught by her cape behind me. "Wh- what happened…!?"
Rumia keeps roaring ahead without us, apparently not having been close enough to a wall to pin down. She slows down further into the hall, though…
Byakuren was apparently directly behind us, because she's trapped against the wall in a mid-running motion. A condensed spread of silver blades and even a few swords are lodged into the wall and her clothes to keep her in place.
...Sakuya steps up, looking at the whole scene from a sideways angle. "Hello, Hijiri."
"...Fine evening, isn't it?" She smiles at Sakuya.
"A fine evening for furniture destruction, yes." Sakuya monotones. "Are you done?"
"No." Byakuren denies. "I-"
Thu-thunk. Knives strike the wall beside her head.
"Are you done?" Sakuya seemingly never moved a muscle.
...Byakuren sighed. "I would suppose. Miss Izayoi, hear me out-"
"I'll hear you out later." Sakuya waved her off. "After someone pays for the furniture."
…
"The temple is a nonprofit effort." Byakuren tries, still against the wall.
"That's how your followers get to frequent town bars." Sakuya counters.
"My disciples' funds are not the temple's." Byakuren returns fire.
"Clearly how Ichirin, among other monks, were able to host an expedition to Golden Grin." Sakuya allowed herself a small smile. "...Besides, how exactly would the temple function if it hadn't a treasury for politics and necessities?"
…
Byakuren huffs. "Very well. When I get back to the temple, I'll send you a payment…"
"Appreciated." Sakuya nods.
"You do realize…" I speak up. "Remilia is getting a forced anal insertion, right?"
Thu-thunk. Two knives block my vision, impaling the wall directly before my face.
"I could always foot you with the bill." Sakuya threatens. "If you haven't the gold, we could put you to work. As an aside, we don't pay well."
Oh.
"I- I didn't… do any~thing…!" Vampire loli whines behind me.
Sakuya doesn't seem to acknowledge her.
"Miss Izayoi." Byakuren asserts herself. "The girl in the arms of the man two spaces ahead of me. I've come to help right her."
"By breaking and entering during visiting hours." Sakuya retorts. "...For how peaceful you claim to be, you're rather trigger happy."
Byakuren's brow twitches. "...So you say. I apologize."
"Your apology will be accepted when the adequate funds are reimbursed." Sakuya drones out. "For now, I'll have to ask you to leave."
Byakuren tries to nod, but ends up displacing a few knives with her head instead. "...I understand. May I take a moment to take that youkai with me?"
...Sakuya tilts her head. "Is she truly that elusive?"
...Byakuren chooses not to comment, giving Sakuya a pleading stare.
"You may do as you may outside of these halls." With her final word on the matter, Sakuya begins to walk off. "By that, I mean you may not interfere with other guests on Mistress' property. It would not reflect well on us as hosts."
"You cannot be serious." Byakuren's patience has worn thin.
"I'm never serious." Sakuya jests. "I never said you couldn't stand outside and wait, as long as you keep a respectable distance from the manor in doing so. Perhaps, if you'd spoken about this matter to us beforehand, we wouldn't have this disagreement."
…
Cla-clatter-clank-clank. The knives and swords along the wall around Byakuren all clatter to the floor as she effortlessly frees herself. "I suppose… I'll be going, then."
...Byakuren slowly walks past Sakuya.
As she moves down the hall, she turns to look at me and frowns.
"You know what…" I speak up. "Byakuren." ...Saying her name is weird, for some reason.
She stops, turning to me.
I'd gesture with my arms, but these knives won't let me. "Take her."
…
Byakuren begins to step towards me, smiling warmly. "Thank you."
Okay, first I'll let Byakuren take Shikome. Then, I'll go up onto the roof and get the motorcycle while Byakuren is preoccupied. After that, the lolis will come out and-
Sakuya appears in the way. "No trafficking inside the mansion, either. Unless it's an official matter, of course."
…
"She's a long lost princess of the tribe." I try. "Therefore it is an official matter."
"One that does not pertain to the manor." Sakuya dismisses the argument. "Therefore, it is not."
You bitch.
Byakuren keeps smiling, anyway. "Come. Let us speak outside. We've troubled this mansion enough."
With that, Byakuren starts to walk off...
…
Change of plans. Looking past me, I see Sakuya staring at me.
"I am stuck." Please remove knives from clothes. They happen to be pinned in just the right way to completely remove mobility.
...Thud. I fall after Sakuya removes the knives pinning me and the generic vampire loli in place.
Once I get back up- quite an effort, considering how much pain I am in- she seems to be gone. Hmm.
…
After an idle moment, I turn to the generic loli as Rumia cautiously drifts back up to us. "We're going out the back door."
Generic loli snorts. "I was about to say that…" Then, she smirks. "You planned that all along, didn'cha?"
Sure.
"Yep!" Rumia smiles, her arms left fully extended along her sides as she tends to do.
...Generic loli turns to her, brows furrowed. "Who're you?"
"Rumia~." Shadow loli formally introduces herself.
"...Why're you stretching your arms out like that?" Vampire loli questions.
"Doesn't it look like it says 'the saint was crucified on the cross'?" ...I'm not sure where that came from.
Vampire loli tilts her head. "...No? It reminds me of those funny crosses at church, though. Also, I'm… Vanilla."
Vanilla, huh.
Rumia twirls around. "Hello, Vanilla!"
Vanilla greets her plainly. "Hi."
Friends.
I begin to move. "Let's get out of here before we get utterly annihilated."
Vanilla fluffs up at that. "Whah- why? Is something out to get us…?"
...Probably.
Carrying Shikome in my arms, I begin to move to find Flandre's basement entrance. That should lead me to the easy way out back…
"Something's always out to get us!" Rumia cheerfully remarks, floating by my side idly. "It's only a matter of when…!"
Vanilla is vaguely incredulous at this. "When…? Why?"
Stop being smart and get over here.
/ / / / A SUPER POWERED MIND AND A MECHANICAL CANINE / / / /
The three of us- four counting the unconscious Shikome- are proceeding down a long hallway. Oh, is it a long hallway…
I don't know where I'm going, and I don't know where I've been, but I'm here, and I have lolis.
Fwoom! I am soaked, again. Cool.
We are in a long expanse of doorless hallway. This is a real nice hallway.
"Where are we…?" Vanilla is mystified by the mansion's interior. "Is this place… really just a big mansion?"
"Where is we?" Rumia restates her question for no particular reason.
"Like…" Shaking her head, Vanilla pans her gaze around again. "Wo~w. I can't imagine owning a place this big…"
"Where are food?" Rumia poses an entirely new question.
"I wonder how old the big vampire here is…" Vanilla paces a little faster to keep up with us, after lagging behind due to her gazing.
"When?" Rumia stops making sense entirely.
...Vanilla furrows her brows. "We're here, now. You are food."
...Rumia blinks.
Why did I bring them with me again?
...We continue forward-
Boom!
The wall ahead and to the right of us is blown open, a torrent of wind and electric energy whirling out of it and-
Boom! -tunneling through the following wall.
...We stop and stare at the destruction.
"Fff~... uu~ck." A green-haired fairy maid sprints out of the rightmost hole, her swirly glasses low on her nose and crooked.
...Turning to us, her brow twitches. "No one saw that. Right?"
I shake my head.
Rumia rotates to face the wrong way. "What am I?"
Vanilla looks over at her. "I dunno."
...Rumia beams. "Me neither!"
...After a moment, the fairy maid corrects her posture, and uses a hand to slide her glasses back up. "Right. Sorry, but I'll have to push you out of this hallway."
Chi-chank. She pulls a small but rough looking box from her back, and plops it onto the floor. Crouching, she pulls some tight valves and ridged dials on it-
Fwi-fwir-fwi~sh. The far ends of the hallway seem to jitter for a moment, before fading to black, which eventually gives way to swirls of scarlet, black, and candle light.
Standing upright again, the fairy maid crosses her arms. "Air Module, activate."
Bwi-bwip! Her outfit seems to change to a bright green and mint color scheme…
Cha-chank- clankclankclankclank…
Metal parts fold out of it, and four tiny fans are created along the sides of her torso.
She points at us, smiling. "Remember, you didn't see me!" Arching her arms back, she crouches and-
FWOOSH
We're slammed by a powerful gust of wind.
We fly back for a good few moments-
Thu-thu-thud. We come to a stop at the center of a T-shaped intersection. Despite being blown back the way we came, we weren't here before. Oof.
"Oww~..." Vanilla rubs her head. "Why~?"
Rumia floats off of the wall, having hit it flat with her back. "We saw what wasn't meant to see. Be seen? Nnh..."
...Looking back down the hallway we were blown down, I see a turn instead of a long straightway. This mansion likes to not be transparent about its room randomization.
/ / / / CANDLE LIGHT, MOON LIGHT / / / /
After more minutes of aimless wandering, we managed to reach the basement.
Stepping up to Flandre's door, the short maze puzzle before it really being a non-issue, I knock on it.
"We're ho~me…" Rumia vocalizes our presence.
"It's dark down here." Vanilla seems vaguely offput by the dark, for some reason.
…
The door swings open smoothly, a stout fluffle inserting itself into the way to push it open. "here i am"
Its presence causes Vanilla to recoil. "Wh- what is that…!?"
Annoying, that's what it is.
"No no no~..." Flandre steps up to the door, and brushes the fluffle aside. "Let me answer it…"
Turning to us, she stares… then she smiles. "Oh. Hello~!"
"I have a loli problem." I hold up Shikome, before tilting my head towards my party members.
Flandre perks up, pointing a finger at Rumia. "It's you!"
Rumia stops spinning in place, beaming down at Flandre. "It's you!"
...As Flandre looks over at the vampire loli, her expression becomes more neutral. "Oh…"
Vanilla clams up for some reason. "Wa- waah…"
"Why're you here?" Flandre doesn't emote as she asks the question.
"I- I dunno…?" Vanilla shrinks back…
"She got lost." I provide.
...After a long, multiple second stare, Flandre smiles. "Oka~y!" Turning around, she enters the room and leaves the door open. "C'mon in! I was just having some tea…"
Inside, there was a tea table, two loli-sized fluffles at two chairs, two chairs completely empty, and an extra chair to the side with a big teddy bear on it.
Flandre walked up to her chair, while the fluffle that opened the door moved for the other. "Oh. These are my friends!" Flandre gestures to the fluffles in order. "This is Soft, this is Tubs, and this is Stuff."
"i love the world" The leftmost fluffle smiles.
"hide me" The rightmost fluffle sat down, before slouching forward.
"i hate you" The last, centermost fluffle stares at Flandre blankly.
…
Thu-crack!
The fluffle, and the chair it sat in, were destroyed after Flandre picked up her fork and tossed it straight through the both of them.
Clack. Now missing the top half, the chair tilted backwards and fell over.
...Looking over at us, Flandre smiled. "Free seat?"
I hold up my hand before anyone can respond. "I'm sorry, but we must be going."
...Flandre pouts, tilting her head at us. "That's what you did last time you came here. I didn't really appreciate you getting past me just to destroy our stuff, y'know…"
Oh. So she knows. "Don't worry. I'm just smuggling lolis out of the country." I gesture with Shikome again.
Flandre gives me a stare. Then, she stares back at the table. "Oka~y. If you go into the actual cellar and break stuff again though…"
She grabs a generic white tea cup-
Crack! It shatters instantly, even though she didn't look like she remotely tried to crush it.
"Aw, darn…" Flandre frowns at the tea cup's destruction. Then, she turns to Soft the fluffle. "I blame you."
The fluffle's shell nose flips open in surprise.
"im executioner" The rightmost fluffle smiles.
Soft's shell nose lowers. "im medium" It turns to the empty, broken seat. "Tubs is sk hang him"
"Tubs afk" With that, the rightmost fluffle slumps over.
"oh no" Soft tilts back in its seat and stares into space.
…
With that, I start moving towards the back door of Flandre's room. "Let's go."
"I'm executioner." Rumia repeats what the fluffle said as she drifts behind me…
"Uhm…" Somewhat baffled, Vanilla waves at Flandre as we leave. "Bye~...?"
Flandre looks up at her. "Oh, yeah. Don't eat my food while you're leaving. 'Cause I know it's there, and Sakuya knows it's there, but big sister and Sakuya don't know that I know it's there."
For some reason, Vanilla cringes back hard. "Ah- I- I'll try not to...?"
"Cool!" Flandre nods at that. "Bye~!"
"Hello~!" Rumia greets her as she follows me out the back door.
/ / / / GAS GAS GAS I'M GONNA RUN AS FAST AS THE FLASH / / / /
We have escaped the basement, and are now in the mansion backyard.
The sky is dark, and there's not a lot of light. We get some illumination from the mansion's many windows, some lit and some not. But it's still dark.
Few stars glimmer in the night sky, hinting at the gradual overcast befalling the land.
Quickly, I tread across the lawn, weaving past flower patches and ornate bushes as I progress towards the exterior brick wall.
Rumia drifts in a circle over me in the air. "Aa~h… It's a great night!"
"...Yeah." Vanilla agrees with that. "Not even the stars are shining."
...As we walk up to the back wall, we approach a loli-sized fairy maid. She's got short, earth green hair, her front bangs flat and evenly cut, yet still over her eyes.
She's pressing some buttons on some device on the wall…
"Heyo~!" Rumia makes our presence blatant.
Jumping, the fairy turns to us, before pulling something from her waist and aiming it at us-
Fw-ow-ow-ow. It creates a flash of green light. I don't feel any different though.
She looks up at Rumia, "Dark-resistant," then at Vanilla, "Dark-resistant," then at me. "...No resistances. Susceptibility to status chances."
Finally, she looks down at Shikome. "...Woa~h. I… guess dark-resistant. Lots of resistances but also some weaknesses…"
…After her analysis, we have an idle, quiet moment.
"Who're you?" She looks over all of us. "Did Mistress send you?"
"...Yes." I decide. "We require a report on your efforts."
"What…?" She jerks her head back. "No." Bringing up her cartoony, vaguely gun-shaped device, she aims it at us again. "You didn't see me."
Fwa~sh! It produces a blinding flash.
"Woa~h!" Rumia yells. "Here comes the su~n!"
"Oww~." Vanilla whines. "Why~?"
...After a few moments, the light fades, the fairy gone. That mechanical pad's still on the wall, though.
There seems to be a spinning circle on the screen, and some Japanese. Walking up to it, I poke it to try and screw with it. It doesn't react.
...Grabbing it- with one hand because I need at least one arm to keep Shikome from eating dirt- I pull, to little avail.
"Who says a wall's a wall?" Rumia floats up to the wall and touches it.
"So…" Panning her head around, Vanilla rests her gaze on the wall. "How're we getting out?"
Beat it to death. "Let us fly." I jump a few inches, achieving nothing at all.
"Oh." Vanilla blinks. "...Oh, ri~ght!"
Poof! With a puff of black smoke, she turns into a bat, which darts over the wall.
I hold up Shikome. "Rumia, help."
...Rumia floats over to me and lifts up the unconscious loli, before grinning. "Life comes at 'cha fast, huh?"
Where did this wit come from. Just- take the loli and go, you.
…
Oh, right, how I'll get over. I don't imagine it being easy with this status effect hell…
…
I really should have thought this out.
A moment later, Rumia comes back over the wall, Shikome no longer in her arms. "Aren't you coming?"
"I am incapable of flying." For I have not wings meant for flying. "Help."
...Floating down to me, Rumia has a dry expression. "Really~. Even fairies can fly…"
"This fairy cannot." I counter. "I am in need of assistance."
...Positioning herself around my back, she begins to lift me. "Oka~y."
It's slow at first, but slowly she begins to lift me up and over the back wall…
...On the other side, Vanilla is standing next to Shikome, who's propped up against a tree for the time being.
...Rumia stops a few feet off the ground-
Thud. She drops me onto the floor. Good.
Fwo-Fwi~sh. The status effect prisms around me dissolve, and I get control over my life back.
...As I stand up, Vanilla looks over at Shikome.
...Slowly, groggily, Shikome's eyes blink open.
"Oo~h…" Vanilla seems to perk up at this. "Hi! I'm Va-"
Immediately, Shikome rolls off the tree trunk and onto the vampire girl, locking lips with her. "Mmnh…!?" Her arms clamp up at her sides, her eyes wide-
Thud. Shikome's weight causes her to fall back onto the floor. "Mnhnh!?"
Rumia tilts to the side in the air, arms outstretched and half-grinning. "Yeah, you never do see it coming…"
Shikome's arms clamp around the sides of the vampire girl, binding her as she presses the loli's head into the floor. "Nnn~...!"
...There's a pop as Shikome retracts her head, breaking the kiss. Then, she thrusts herself back upright.
...Vanilla just lies on the floor, eyes spinning. "Wawaha~nh…?"
Looking around, Shikome's expression was blank. "...Where are we?"
"Outside the walls of Troy." I explain. "We must escape to civilization." ...She recovered remarkably fast for someone who got shot in the head. Which is also to say, at all.
...Gazing around at the dark forest, Shikome blinks a few times. Then, her gaze rests on the vampire on the floor. "State your name, juvenile wight."
...Dizzily, Vanilla begins to sit up. "Aah. Wah-... Vanilla. I'm… Vanilla." Vanilla the vampire loli, clad in only a cape and white panties with bats on them. Good.
Shikome runs her eyes over her, lips curling. "...You should show more modesty in your appearance."
...Vanilla starts to stand, brushing her cape off. "Why?"
You'll get ravaged. Violated. Eaten alive.
"Modesty shmodesty!" Rumia suddenly pipes up in the air beside me. "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!"
Vanilla almost pumps her fist into the air to agree, but seems to reconsider at the last second…
...Shikome just seems indifferent.
We have gone from a loli party to a loli palooza.
/ / / / COOKED NUGGETS / / / /
Navigating around the manor wall was not very difficult. The few youkai who spotted us pretty much entirely ignored us, or gave us passing waves.
We went the long way to the Misty Lake, mostly because Byakuren was probably still waiting for us in front of the manor, and running into her would be unpleasant.
The lake was starting to fog up, making the already dark night start to become unnavigable…
"I don't even need to hide tonight!" Rumia twirls in the air over us as we walk. "I'm already lost…"
Fortunately, the lake water still exists, so we just keep walking alongside it. Hopefully we don't die instantly to the creatures of the mist.
Vanilla shambles along beside us. "How long will we keep walki~ng…? My feet hurt…" Being barefoot probably doesn't help her any. Where exactly did she come from, where having literally nothing on was called for?
...Eventually, we come up to someone crouched by the lake water. They're holding onto a long pole that's lodged in the water, a disc with glowing light energy running along it attached.
I slow down as we near them, but I start moving to skirt around them…
It's hard to see, but they're wearing dark greens and bright yellows. They have short blue hair, and apparently have a mask attached to their face...
Perhaps this is a fellow mask. Or maybe not.
Shikome steps up to it.
...The person turns to Shikome, revealing the mask to be wooden, amber lights shining out of various holes in it, one big one where their eyes should be. "Oh? At this hour, ah?"
...Shikome just stares down at it.
Bringing their… light disc on a stick out of the water, the being floats out of its crouching position. It sounds like a her, though. "Ehehe! You all just up 'n' came outta nowhere!"
She bobs back and forth in the air, her mask rotating and spinning on her face with the momentum she exerts.
Shikome leaps after the being-
Fwa-Eeeeee~...!
Ow, ow ow. Cool flashbang effect. Apparently those exist in Gensokyo.
…
Slowly, the world returns to darkness. Now I can't see anything.
I can hear things, though. "Wo~w tha~t smarts…" Rumia whines in the background.
"My- my… ears…" Vanilla stumbles around somewhere behind me. "Nnn~..."
...Shikome's staring into the distance. The girl that created the flashbang effect doesn't seem to be here anymore, although her disc on a stick is still half on the shore.
That was eventful. Now we're alone in the fog, as alone as a party can be.
…
Once I find myself and the ringing stops enough for me to continue shambling across the lakeside, I do so.
"Can't see~..." Vanilla apparently still can't see yet.
"Hello daylight, my old friend…" Rumia rubs her eyes as she drifts unevenly ahead of us. "I've come to talk with you aga~in…"
/ / / / DIVE MAN / / / /
We are now on the Hakurei path, leading towards the village. It's dark, but the path is linear so it really doesn't matter how blind we are. That, and I'm pretty sure the only one here without night vision is me.
The trees directly around us are easy to make out, but past them everything is just black haze. Good nighty.
"There's a strong shrine maiden around here!" Rumia speaks of the nearby shrine. "She likes to take walks at night. I think…"
Considering her, probably not.
"You know…" Vanilla slowly looks over at us. "Who are you guys?"
Oh yeah, we never told her.
"Friends." I inform her.
"Food." Rumia quips. "...I'm Rumia!"
"Hi, Rumia." Vanilla greets the loli of shade. Then, she looks over at me and Shikome again. "...Can I get you guys' names, too?"
"Satanslaughter McKillgore." Only the finest of names.
...She stares down at the ground. "Oh."
…
After a moment of walking, she looks over at me again. "That name's kinda silly…"
I slowly turn my head towards her as if offended. "I'll have you know I come from a distinguished royal family of carpenters."
At first she looks slightly worried, but after I finish my sentence... "Carpenters? Whah- well… sorry."
I nod like an asshole.
...Shikome's here, except she's just staring off to the side of the path, not entirely here.
The brush rustles ahead. By that, we mean probably enemies. That, or another youkai who'll just think we're youkai too. Considering my party composition, we may as well all be youkai.
...As anticipated, a wolfman walks out. Alongside him seems to be a fairy of some sort.
"Y'ain't half bad, George." The wolfman calls the obviously female fairy 'George'. "Y'aughta try gettin' into that bitch one of these times, though."
The raggedly dressed fairy holds her arms up. "I- yeah I've tried, man! One paper thing and that's it. I told ya what happened ta Zack." She seems to be dressed in very loose rags, caked in dirt and unclean.
Her hair is a sort of bright red, only one side done in a sloppy pigtail, the other side's hair let down. Looking over at us, her eyes light up. "Oo~h… shi~t!"
The wolfman looks over at us. "...Huh?"
'George' taps the youkai's thigh, since that's as high as the stout fairy can touch. "Man- Sakamoto you just hang back for a second. I got this…"
...Sakamoto smirks. "A'right. I'll be right over here…" With that, he just kinda steps back.
...Promptly, 'George' skips up to us. "He~y!" She speaks in a high pitch, more befitting of a fairy.
We all just stare at her. Vanilla speaks first. "...Hi."
Shikome's eying the fairy curiously.
She giggles. "Hehehe~! You're all so cute…!" Then, she looks at me, dropping her childish tone. "'Cept for you, man."
"Fuck you." Stupid fairy. On closer inspection, her wings are tattered, for some reason.
Shikome begins to step past it-
"Aw~, look at you…!" The fairy begins to step towards her. "How do you get your hair like that?"
...The fairy begins to reach out to grab her, but Shikome grabs her first.
"Woah…" The fairy blinks. "...Hehehe~. Are we gonna cudd-"
Pi~chun! Shikome throws the fairy into the floor, crushing it.
...Where the fairy was, a swirling, black mass is left.
Slowly, it begins to rise, taking the form of a grinning, semi-humanoid blob. "Huoa~hoo~h! How I wish I could be you…!"
The ghost's arms lunge out for Shikome, but she just stands there and doesn't do much.
…
After a moment of the ghost waving at her, she begins to move towards the wolfman.
"Whoh…?" The ghost actually blinks at this, which is more like closing and reopening its eye-esque holes. "How?"
...I take out my blessed scissors. Just on the off chance it engages us.
As Shikome moves up to the startled looking wolfman, the ghost begins to turn around towards us…
It eyes Vanilla. "Why~, aren't you adorable~!?" Sliding through the air, one of its arms stretches out towards her-
I hobble up to intercept it, swinging my unassuming scissors through it-
Fwish! It draws an amber line through the ghost's formless limb, the portion sliced off dissolving into the air.
"Howaouh!?" The ghost recoils. "Ho~ly artifact!? You-... you aren't even a holy-type enemy!"
That's too bad.
I glance over at Vanilla, who seems to just be slowly backing away from the encounter, somewhat intimidated.
Rumia's spinning in place with her arms outstretched, uncaring.
...The ghost glances over at Rumia, before reconsidering even approaching her. It starts to back up, towards the woods. "I'll find you when you sleep. Unless one of you volunteer to come with me."
It points at Rumia. "But not you. Not again."
…
Our collective non-response causes it to slouch, as much as a ghost can slouch. "Can- can you at least try to be afraid?"
"I ain't afraid of no ghost." I reaffirm the running theme.
…
It begins to turn away. "Damn. We gotta find another sexy fairy, Saka-..."
Sakamoto the wolfman is currently lying on the ground, six tendrils pinning it down by the limbs. "Grrh- wauf! Wrauf!" It barks at Shikome, who looms over it. "Wau-"
Shink! A seventh tendril slides down its throat mid-bark and pierces it. "Hh~..."
"Shut up." Bending over, Shikome reels her arm back, and-
Crack! She drives her arm up its chest cavity, but still cracks something. I'm unsure if that was the popping of flesh, or if she just accidentally clipped a rib on the way in.
...She tugs a few times at something, but then-
Rii~p! She pulls out a large organ. Its pulsing nature reveals it to probably be the heart-
Rip! She takes a greedy bite of it, particles that look black in the evening's gloom squirting off, visible only by the slight glimmer from the few stars that shine in the sky.
...More visibly however is the liquid running straight down from the heart and onto the floor, and down Shikome's arm. That's a little less interesting than the splashing, though. It reminds me of eating oranges, or tangerines.
"Is-..." Vanilla's got her hands over her eyes, but is peeking through one. "Is she… eating his heart?"
...Slowly, Rumia starts to float over. "Nnn~. I don't like eating wolf. They taste like dirt 'n' fur…"
George the ghost leaves into the woods. "Man, fuck this. Only the freaks come out at night…"
…
Turning to Vanilla, I gesture towards our murder loli. "I forgot to mention. Her name is Shikome."
"A- aah…" Vanilla holds a hand over her mouth. "Mmn…" Then, she looks away. "Ok- okay…"
I lumber over towards Shikome, which prompts Vanilla to half-heartedly meander behind me.
...Shikome looks over at the two of us, then at the half-eaten heart. She holds it out towards Vanilla once she gets close.
"Uhm…!?" Vanilla holds her hands over her eyes. "...Yo- you're…? Ah, no- no thanks, I'm okay… I- I don't eat like that."
...Blinking, Shikome waits a moment, then brings the heart to her mouth-
Ri~p! She takes another greedy chunk from it, and chews it.
"Ge- geez…" Vanilla sighs. "Nn~..."
/ / / / MARCH OF THE FLUFFLES / / / /
We come up to the village gates.
A guard stands outside, clad in bronze, perhaps brass armor. He has a similar pike, and unlike any of the guards I've seen prior, he is well armored.
...Seeing us, he immediately takes a defensive stance. "Stop! Turn around, and don't make any sudden moves!"
This may be a fight you can't win. You can always try again when you're a higher level.
...We all just stare at him.
He backs up into the gate, seemingly knowing of just how fucked he is. "...Koki! Gate- open the gate, Koki! Light the signal torch!"
...There's no response from the watch perch above the gate.
"Koki!" He yells. "Koki!"
"Relax. We won't hurt you." I lie blatantly.
"Fuck you!" ...He crouches against the gate, his pike held out. "...Go ahead, eat me! I hate living anyway…!"
Shikome steps towards him, and Rumia starts floating over her…
He just shuts his eyes, waiting for the incoming pain...
Shink! Shikome pierces his throat with a tendril-
Cra~ng! The tendril pierces the gate spoke behind the guard's head, rending the metal.
"Hh~..." A light hissing sound emits from the guard.
...Shikome starts moving the tendrils up-
Crrii~ng…! The metal whines as her tendril begins to jerk it up, but she's forced to bring it back a little to keep raising the guard's head-
Cr-krik… His head is raised unnaturally high from his shoulders, and after further pressure from Shikome-
Ri~p! It's torn off, blood dripping down the tendril that severed it. The body slumps to the side as a result.
...Shikome lets the head drop to the floor, before stepping aside. Rumia drifts down to the body, then looks over at her fellow death loli. "I need a can opener…"
Responding to her request, Shikome crouches down and grabs the brass chestplate-
Pang! Krang-kra- crack! After some effort and tugging, Shikome slowly peels the front face of the chestplate open.
Snap! Once it's fully down, she uses two arms to remove it from the guard, exposing his undershirt.
"Thank you~." Smiling, Rumia holds her hands over the exposed chest-
Fwam! She unleashes a thick concentration of danmaku, which tears away the clothing-
Fwam!... Fwam! She does this repeatedly, causing the skin she concentrates it on to crackle wildly with red energy, but also begin to darken.
"Did you know you can cook with danmaku bullets?" Rumia shares her human hunting knowledge with us. "You gotta use a lot though, and if you eat it before it calms down it'll knock you out or hurt really badly…"
"...Cook?" Expression blank, Shikome reveals that she doesn't know what cooking is.
"Yeah." Rumia smiles at her-
Fwam! The guard's chest is now a small electrical storm.
"It makes meat tastier!" Rumia smiles wider at the notion. "It also helps with like… gross stuff in 'em, and keeps it from going weird as fast."
Fwam! That fried guard is crackling very loudly now, and is bright enough to light up the gate outside of the few dinky torches placed here for the guards…
…
Fwam! Rumia shells the corpse again. How much danmaku is too much?
"Why…" Vanilla speaks up from beside me, frowning at the growing electrical hazard. "Why do you eat people?"
Rumia looks over at her, blinking. "Why don't you?"
"I- I…" Vanilla clams up, looking away. "I don't… need to eat people to survive. I drink blood- and I'm still young- but… it just seems wrong."
Rumia blinks at her once more, before looking back at the corpse. "I gotta eat…"
"You killed someone." Vanilla reaffirms her morality. "And… he didn't do anything to you. You just killed him…"
Not looking over at her, Rumia crouches over the corpse as she waits for it to cool, and for the electrical storm to die down.
"Don't you feel bad?" Vanilla looks over at her again, tilting her head to avoid looking at the body.
Rumia blinked blankly. "Why?"
Again, Vanilla looks away, this time in my direction, her eyes slightly red. Well, they're naturally red, but in the upset way. "...No, uhm, no reason…"
Shikome lifts the still-crackling corpse with her arms, poised to take a bite. Rumia brings her arms up-
Shunk! Shikome sinks her teeth into the meat…
...She promptly removes them, gradually bringing her head back as her face slowly winces.
"You gotta wait for it to stop being electric and stuff." Rumia reiterates, lowering her arms. "It'll hurt you if you don't."
...Shunk! Shikome tries again, only to slowly start wincing a second time...
"Wa~it…" Rumia stares at her dryly.
/ / / / CHALLENGER DEEP / / / /
...The sky begins to glow a deep blue. How long have we been awake?
We're now in the village, after cranking the gate open. I'm not sure where to go from here, because the streets ahead have noticeable, frequently stationed watchmen.
We could kill them all. If we did, that'd probably start a war- with us at the center of it. Perhaps… we should keep as low of a profile as possible.
...We walk forward into the village. Rumia's a surprisingly clean eater, but she's still got blood on her face. Shikome's caked in fresh blood, and Vanilla… is clean, but naked to the point that we'd probably be liable for adultery or something. Panties and a cape don't make for clothing.
Immediately once we get onto the main road, two guards on opposing ends of the street begin to approach us. Good.
...Once they come up to us, the leftmost one speaks. "I'm going to have to ask you four to leave. There are no youkai allowed in the village at this time."
...Shikome begins to move-
"Wa-wait!" Vanilla steps forward first. "Let me…"
...The guards raise their pikes pre-emptively.
Vanilla stares at the guards…
Fwish! Her eyes flash.
…
"Surrender." Vanilla commands them, with more authority than I'd heard from her before.
Cla-clank. The guards drop their pikes and kneel before us. "I- I give up…"
"...Th- they do work…" The vampire girl sighs, holding a hand to her chest.
...Shikome begins to step forward-
"No no no!" Whirling around, Vanilla holds out her arms, waving her hands. "Don't kill them! Th- that's why I made them sur-surrender! So- so we don't kill them...!"
...Shikome begins to step forward-
"That's probably a good idea." I reaffirm Vanilla's point. "If we kill a few, we're going to have the whole swarm after us."
At that, Shikome folds her arms. "...Hmph."
Rumia adds onto that. "Yeah. Every time I get inside I just get chased out and have to spend the day removing arrows… and arrows hurt."
...Vanilla exhales in relief.
…
"Have the guards escort us." I direct the vampire loli. "So you don't have to hypnotize every single guard we come across." It seems like she can command them directly.
"...Yo- you're right." Vanilla nods at this. Looking over at the guards, she speaks again. "Rise."
...The guards stand.
"Weapons." Vanilla steps up to them, gesturing to the pikes.
Feverishly, the guards kneel, and clutch the pikes.
"Escort us." Vanilla folds her arms. "...If anyone asks, you're taking us to jail."
The rightmost guard nods hastily. "Yes, my mistress. If anyone asks, I am taking you to jail."
...At that Vanilla drops her posture, stepping back. "There…"
The guards step around us, pikes raised officially.
"That's coo~l!" Rumia smiles at the guard beside us. "How'd you do that…?"
"...I can't really explain it." Vanilla admits. "It's… a thing I can do."
"Hello~!" Rumia floats in front of the guard. "How are you?"
"I am taking Mistress to jail." The guard asserts confidently.
...Rumia tilts her head. "...Are you feeling well?"
"I am taking Mistress to jail." He nods pridefully.
This won't go wrong at all.
...Vanilla giggles. "Eheh. Uhm… let's hope no one talks to them?"
Good hypnosis. Hopefully the appearance of being escorted is enough.
With that said and done, I begin moving forward, prompting my posse to follow along with me. Three lolis, a masked weirdo, and two guards. We're slowly becoming a small army.
Moving down the road, we pass more stationed guards, but they just give us stares as we pass by, not approaching. Not many villagers are on the street at this hour, so it allows me to see just how many guards are stationed around…
They really got serious with their guarding, apparently. Every one-two hundred feet or so down the road, there's another guard pair of guards stationed at either side. If Vanilla hadn't hypnotized the first few, we literally would have had to kill about twenty guards to reach the main square.
Speaking of, we're now at the main square. There's a platform in the center that gets in the way, with nothing on it. Good.
There are few people up and about in the square at this hour…
Idly, I pace around the platform and examine all the surrounding stalls. Things are still overcast, so aside from some gloom it may as well still be night.
Stalls are just being set up, really. Although a few are being pestered by some customers, or perhaps associates.
...Noticing a stall that sells produce, I approach it. I'm curious to see Shikome accidentally the food with her presence.
We meander up to it, the stall faintly illuminated by a single candle on the counter. Ahead of it, some shelves of what look like cabbage and tomatoes, while the counter itself had some ears of corn on the right, far from the candle.
There're two people ahead of the counter, and one scruffy man behind it. After a moment though, one of them walks away. The remaining individual has a shabby looking brown cloak over their entire form.
...I eventually come up beside the cloaked person, and put my arms on the counter.
My party approaches behind me, turning this previously desolate stand into a loli dominion. Also with guards, like we're royalty.
The guy's turned away, currently fiddling with something behind his counter…
…
Curiously, I glance over at the cloaked individual. They're staring straight ahead at him.
…
I turn to the cloaked individual. "So how's the weather?"
...They pan their head towards me, slightly luminescent dull blue eyes peering at me. Her hair's white, short-
Oh. It's Youmu.
...Slowly, she glances behind me, prompting me to do the same.
Vanilla's discreetly examining some of the produce, while Rumia's very blatantly examining the produce-
"Omf!" -with her mouth. She just took a bite out of a cabbage. "...Pftoo~!" Then, she spat it out. Good.
...Shikome's casually standing next to a shelf of both cabbage and tomatoes. The produce next to her is slowly dimming in color.
...After a moment, she glances at the gradually worsening food, before returning to staring into space. The food's starting to become black, now.
I glance at Youmu again, to find her staring at me. She runs her eyes across my body briefly.
"Why are you here?" She keeps her voice low, fitting the day's atmosphere.
"I am here to sell my goods." I inform her. "You see, I am a used watch salesman."
Reaching into my backpack, I pull out my trusty hand cannon of a gun, and hold it up to face the vendor.
...The vendor turns around, and blinks at it.
"How much for this?" I attempt to barter with him.
...Face falling, he shakes his head. "We don't buy…" He looks the gun over, unable to determine what it is. "We don't buy things here. We sell."
Youmu holds her stare with me. "I won't let you cause trouble here. Just leave."
"No, no." I jiggle the gun again. "I insist."
"I insist you do what the lady says an' go away." The shopkeeper waves me off. "Don't got money to buy. We sell."
Oh. Oh no.
...Turning around, I look at Shikome.
The food next to her is now either pitch black or eerily glossy. Outside of that, all of the corrupted matter seems to be mobile now, wriggling and writhing.
...The shopkeeper notices, too. "Wh- what the hell!? What!?"
Youmu steps back a little. "Ah…?" Her eyes run across my posse, then she glances back at me.
I regard the food honestly. "I… don't think you're going to sell those."
The guy slams his arms on the counter in disbelief, before moving to get around it. "No shit!? Fuck!"
Wiggly tendrils start to sprout from the rotten food…
"What are you doing?" Youmu steps closer to me, eyes narrowing. "These youkai- the guards, what is this?"
"Didn't do nothin'." I start to put away my super gun… "Just came to shop around."
Youmu's expression flares at my dismissal-
"Ah!" The vendor pulls his arm back as a cabbage attempts to clamp onto it. After that, he reaches into his coat and draws a small knife. "Dammit- I grew you!" Cautiously, he starts taking stabs at the cabbage.
...I spot Vanilla hiding behind the shelf of good produce, looking away from the scene entirely. She seems tempted to glance back, though.
Rumia's standing on the ground, but tilting back and forth in a way that could be mistaken for dancing. That, or brain damage. Especially with her arms outstretched like that...
Youmu huffs next to me. "You're telling me what's going on. This isn't funny."
...I point at the guy fighting his vegetables. "You know, it is actually kinda funny."
...She glances away, for just a moment, her frown becoming momentarily neutral. "That's... not the point."
...I lean against the counter and watch the fight ensue.
Shikome walks away from the shelf, and up to the semi-dancing Rumia. With a clutch of her arms, she catches her fellow loli in a cuddle.
"Hello~..." Rumia greets her, grinning. "It's a kinda sleepy day, isn't it?"
Walking around the second shelf, Shikome approaches Vanilla, and holds out Rumia.
After a moment, Vanilla notices and blinks. "...Uh~m…?"
...She seems to read Shikome's intent, and moves to grab Rumia- "Woah!" Once Shikome lets go, Rumia lands on her feet and Vanilla tips forward and into her instead. "Nnh…"
...Youmu almost loses steam at this sight, before glaring at me again. "Why are they here? You brought Rumia, and…"
She moves to walk around the shelf to get a better glance at the loli party. Once she finishes, she comes back over to me. "One of them's a vampire. Who did you come to kill this time?"
"We're just hanging out." I nod lethargically.
"Don't… give me that." Youmu gets frustrated, scowling. "You always lie." Looking away, she begins to lower her hand inside of her cloak...
From here, I see Shikome navigate around Rumia and lift up Vanilla by the shoulders.
"Woa- hey…" Vanilla squirms a little. "Do- don't-"
Leaning forward, Shikome starts to lick up her stomach, starting with just above her panties.
"Eee~!" Vanilla squees in surprise, arms clamping to her sides. "Wha- what…!?"
This causes Youmu to look over, and promptly jerk her head back.
Gradually, Shikome runs her tongue up the vampire's flat stomach, making her way up to her mostly exposed chest and finishing at the collar of her neck.
"Oo- oo~h…" Vanilla compacts a little, shuddering. "Wh- wha~h…"
"You're really cute..." Shikome comments, before sealing it with a kiss on the lips.
"Nnn…" Vanilla almost seems to melt into it, only showing small signs of resistance.
"What…" Youmu is taken aback. "What am I watching?"
The shop vendor seems to have stopped fighting his food, giving the two a slack-jawed stare.
The brainwashed guards still stare into space. Their current orientation is facing the front of the stall, gazing past the stall itself.
...Youmu shifts up to a guard. "Uhm, sir. What are you doing?"
"I am taking Mistress to jail." He gives Youmu a knowing grin and a nod.
...Youmu blinks. "You're what now?"
"I am taking Mistress to jail." He gives Youmu another knowing grin and nod.
...Sighing, Youmu backs away from him. With that exchange over, she turns to me. "I'm not letting you leave again."
"At least let us have dinner first." I jeer.
Youmu's face is one of disgust. "You've made Yuyuko-sama really upset…"
"Blame Yukari, not me." I raise my eyebrows, before remembering I have a mask on. I tilt my head anyway.
"That may be true…"
Shi~ng. Youmu slowly draws her blade, which glimmers in the dim light of the slowly brightening overcast, and the nearby candle.
"You do nothing but bring ruin and suffering…" Youmu frowns at me, her eyes low. "...I- I hate killing, but…"
"We're in the middle of the village." I argue. "Are you willing to allow innocent people around you to get hurt?" Even though there's almost no one else here but us.
Youmu's face steels. "What do you mean?"
...I nod idly. "Because if you attack, you may get other people caught in the crossfire."
"My blade is true." Youmu contests. "No one will know what happened."
...The shop vendor rose his hand. "Ya know, I'm right here y'know…"
Her gazes softens momentarily as she looks at him. "...I'll pay you."
He raises his arms in surrender. "Don't see nothing."
"I assure you, there's a better way to end this." I lean back against the counter again, sliding my hands into my pockets...
…
Turning and smoothly drawing my sliding scissors and Shadow Hell scissors, I propel myself towards the man-
Swish! Air is cut behind me.
"Hey!" The guy yells out as I slam into him, and I quickly slide left, forward, and right whilst holding him to spin around behind him, my flank slamming into the side of the stall to prevent me from going too far.
Swish! Youmu attempted another slash of her Roukanken. A bright, sea green wave of energy is left in the blade's trail, briefly illuminating the storefront.
...Thoom. The entire stall folds in on itself, and the shelf of tainted produce next to me falls apart in two uneven pieces.
Immediately, Youmu springs into the air with an inhuman leap, soaring right over me-
I part from the man I intended to take hostage- sliding backwards-
Woosh! Youmu's next slice whirls right past the guy's back, barely missing him and likely meant for me.
Shikome quickly sets Vanilla aside and begins to march around the still-standing shelf-
Soaring overhead, Youmu rotates herself to land against the wall of the house adjacent to the stall, before springboarding off and raising her youkai-forged katana into the air.
This telegraphy prompts me to slide away from whatever she's doing.
She plummets into the floor, striking it with a downward thrust-
Thoom! A shockwave of sea green energy roars out, flinging both me and the vendor. "Huwoa~h!"
One of Shikome's tendrils whirls for her-
Kashink!
Youmu spun around, her blade cleaving through the incoming tendril towards the end of her abrupt spin attack.
Shikome sends out two more, this time from different directions-
Kashink! A single wave of Youmu's blade hits them at just the right angle to make them come apart, the loose bits roaring past her at high speed.
Vanilla peeks out from behind the remaining shelf, staring into Youmu's eyes…
Fwi~sh!
Youmu's ghost half generates before her face, protecting her vision before fading out again.
The guard to the side of Youmu raises his pike. "I am taking Mistress to jail!" Hustling, he charges towards Youmu-
Cla~ng! Youmu's blade parts his pike into two-
Bam! She kicks the guard in the chestplate, sending him sliding way out into the village square.
...Raising her leg, Shikome flicks her sandal off with a quick motion.
Youmu's gaze locks on her.
Shikome stomps the floor-
Youmu leaps-
Shi-shi-shink! Six tendrils erupt from the dirt under where Youmu was, extending outward to follow her.
She lands on the slanted roof of the collapsed stall, before springboarding off of that…
"What the fuck's going on, here!?" A different guy starts to walk onto the scene.
Stopping mid-air, Youmu looks down at him with wide eyes, before turning away.
"Archers!" He yells, pointing at her. "Archers!" Looking behind himself and seeing no one, his temper seems to flare. "Son of a bitch!"
Youmu quickly accelerates into the overcast sky, fleeing from the village.
...The guy rolls his head around, before spitting on the floor before himself. "Ghh~..."
...Looking over at us, he examines our party.
We stare back dryly.
The shop vendor starts to get off the floor. "...Is... is it over?"
Raising his hands, the long-haired guy that encountered us began to turn away, before focusing on us again. "Look. Not gonna ask why you're here, but if you don't get the hell out, literally the entire village is gonna fall on you, and you're gonna fuckin' die. So do us all a favor."
With that, he begins power walking away.
…
"He~re come the arrows…" Rumia ruminates on the resistance we might encounter if we don't move.
Vanilla sighs. "They hate us now, don't they…? I didn't even do anything..."
I think that would've happened anyway, if only because the human village has a poor track record for not being stupid.
It is time to either get the hell out of here, or find somewhere to hide.
...
Idly, Shikome steps over to retrieve her sandal.
/ / / / FREAKIN HAKUGYOKUROU / / / /
END OF CHAPTER 64.5
PROTAGONIST: Matthew, the Debatably Sane Outsider, Lord of Edges, Scissor-Slinging Slasher, Insurance Fraud Expert, Used Goods Reseller, Evil Spirit Cultivator, Shrine Maiden Evader, Professional Youkai Developer
PRIMARY WEAPON: Dash Scissors - Succubus training tool. Allows horizontal quick-dashes, for dodging and agility purposes. Doubles as scissors for kinky, cloth-cutting occasions. Or stabbing. Sleek, black design.
OFFHAND ITEMS: [A Single Rubber Glove] - For those moments one needs to touch a live power wire with one hand and fap with the other.
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - Takes up no inventory space, because it is the inventory space. Has nine slots, and is easily accessible.
Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!
Quick Scissorang - Non-elemental scissors that are enchanted to return to the owner with ferocity. Not that powerful of a weapon, but combined with strong string it can be used like a powerful grappling hook. Looks like it belongs in a Barbie catalog.
Shadow Hell Scissors - Fire elemental scissors. Ignites with every swing. Boosts power of fire spells. Forty percent fire resistance. Increases comfort when near fire. Allows user to cast Fire, Hellfire, Dark Fire, and Dark Fira.
Blessed Steel Scissors - Stained lightly with dried blood from a young human female. Sharp, shiny-ish, and to the point! Also blessed...
Steel-alloy String - An experimental item provided by Alice as part of her testing. She uses these herself to manage her dolls, or so I'm told.
A Tuft of Cloth Strings - Pink, regular cotton string. It's soft, and clean.
Danger Scissors Plus - Let's get dangerous. Randomly spawns anything from anywhere at any time at all, dependent on the power of the party or people around it while it is equipped.
(one more space remaining)
[Backpack] - Allows extended inventory, of twenty slots. Can hold larger items, but it takes longer to pull them out. Items inside are safer. It's also baby barf green.
Hedge Cutters - Rusty lawn pruning tool used by farmers to keep the vile hedges at bay. They're also sharp, so they've probably been used more than once in self-defense.
Teal Stone - Cool and refreshing to hold, exuding power of the wind. It's sort of shiny, too. Perhaps usable as a reagent.
Hackjob Rifle - A pseudo-railgun, made from an AK-47 barrel and a mangled toy gun. Laced with duct tape and wires to function, powered by electrical scissors, and uses small iron pellets as ammunition. Explodes violently if fed anything non-iron as ammo. Outside is coated with vegetable oil and must be wetted regularly to avoid violence upon powering up. Quite powerful.
Water Scissors - Scissors that continuously produce water. How troublesome.
Goldfish Snack Crackers - They're smiling. They might make a good snack...
Modern-ish Surge Protector - Protects against surges. Not very useful without unified electrical practices in housing. Can still be used as a paperweight and a brick, though.
[Rubber Pouch] - Stores electrical objects safely. Too small to add extra inventory, but doesn't take up any space when it's filled. Currently holding electric scissors.
Electrical Scissors - Must be held by gloves at all times, lest they cause electrical fires. Can cause severe shocking and electricity-induced stunning in individuals susceptible, including myself if I'm stupid. Unable to be turned off.
Holy Pot - A torso-sized holy pot used as a vehicle by flufflekind. Has holy properties and resistances for obvious reasons.
(twelve more spaces remaining)
==o==
PARTY:
Shikome, the Black Scion of the Saigyou
WEAPON: Dark Tendrils - Able to create tendrils from any part of her body, she can use them for powerful dark/physical attacks.
INVENTORY:
[Defiled Kimono] - Coated in the coagulated blood of numerous unlucky people. Grants pockets.
(two inventory spaces remaining)
==o==
Rumia, Youkai of the Dusk
WEAPON: Unarmed.
INVENTORY:
[Rumia's Outfit] - Some kind of outfit. I'm not sure how Rumia maintains it. Properties unknown. Grants pockets.
Red Ribbon - It's a ribbon in her hair. It's small, too. Takes up no inventory space. Properties unknown.
(two inventory spaces remaining)
==o==
Vanilla, the Loli Vampire
WEAPON: Unarmed.
INVENTORY:
[Cloak] - A dull black cloak. No inventory space, but takes up none when worn.
==o==
ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:
this was a fun chapter - w - a little dreary and slow but also y'know i pride myself in the visuals and descriptions here yo
a grim reminder that shikome is not a nice person and rumia thinks people are tasty - w -
i've also been thinkin' 'bout that review that critiqued my lack 'a~... additional plot elements in the prior segments 'a the story… and he's not wrong - w - it really coulda used more plot for what it was
still i don't think it's bad and it is what it is (unless we go way back then yeah i admit it it's bad XD). part of this fic's kinda been the whole free roaming slice-a-lifey nature, although he's right in that things have gotten a little repetitive, i've felt it myself too, such is why the previous batch was kinda leading into some new elements (outside 'a obviously brittany)
so yeah i got some plans and there'll be some running themes comin' shortly my boys - w -
at the same time i do want'cha to realize this whole thing's more about the journey than the destination; i think the complaint was moreso the repetition of the fights, which is both something i should be dealin' with but also a little unavoidable considering what i've done with the setting… so to keep them unique i should just lower encounter frequency and that should be that really
...that and cut down on the OVER AMBITIOUS FIGHTS, I'M KINDA A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT IN THAT REGARD
after the time i've put in though i'm startin' to get better feels for what fights're good and what fights're not so good, what goes well (meaningful conflict per fight) and what doesn't go well (enemy spamming cure, prolonging statuses, or other such BS just because i think they're neat spells and not because they actually make the fight more interesting XD)
so yeah - w - seriously though big props ta him for speakin' up, every little swing 'a valid criticism matters my boys, and it if ain't valid it don't do me no harm, so step up to the plate…! i do appreciate praise anyway though since it at least tells me people are listening with conviction a bit better and helps me gauge my audience a little more comprehensively, as well as things people like worth mentioning
hoh
on that note i was a slight skittish that the skirmish with remilia in the start would look like me immediately contradicting myself but y'know it was short and got cut into by a buddhist gangster
oh yeah that weird creature that showed up that we never talked about- that was Harrow from Warframe. - w -
vanilla is also from somewhere but honh - w -
after reproofing this, it's not quite so dreary and slow as i had anticipated .w.
wahaha
as always, see you all next time!
==o==
CO AUTHOR'S NOTE:
dreary and slow yo
not having as much combat is slow and depressing
but in all seriousness this chapter was indeed fun, although i feel like it's got a couple flaws with it. they're really just minor gripes of mine, so no one else may notice. which is why i won't tell ya, wahaha
my own perspective on the combat is just that he should stop focusing so much on it because he's really ramped it up recently without any serious conflict behind it.
i've never been fond of excessive combat in stories in general, which is accentuated in a literary format, 'cause you have to be really good at fighting scenes to properly convey the meaning and emotions behind it. this can go two ways of being super serious or not serious at all. at the moment i see the combat as something in-between, as it's started to lack humor but isn't really becoming serious either- which is better that way. entirely subjective, but all criticism runs on the basis of subjectivity, and no one should be afraid to share it
if you feel the story is starting to run dry due to the humor running thin, there are going to be more plot elements later on, if they aren't apparent already anyway
the tvtropes article may be incomplete and done by one person (not one of us for obvious reasons) but i've seen it and just wanna say shikome isn't really a clingy jealous girl, just really hates succubi. yeah that's all i wanted to say. it would be nice if more people helped, just 'cause it'd be fun to see what tropes other people discover. the discovery of tropes can be sorta subjective too, so it'd be interesting to see various people's perspectives of them as well
also shikome is cuddly- with purpose- even if she isn't exactly how i envisioned due to circumstances. writefag's writing tends to do that.
kill count of 17. it probably doesn't even look like it, but apparently she's managed to kill 17 things so far. now that's a record
