(in which there is violence in the workplace)
That was some good tea, yo, good tea…
"Y'all gonna be headin' out, now? Fer real?" Nemuno is skeptical at our resolve to solve the incident! "This ain't no place fer green-behind-the-ears kids ta be swingin' wood swords, now. S'a bit late for me to threaten ta gut ya ta chase ya off, and wit' all the things, it wouldn't be right, either…"
I raise Hard Winter, which has been thawed out from the other hangers! "S'all cool, yo. We've got the reach and the teeth of a killin' machine!"
...Nemuno looked skeptical. "Only one here I see doin' any killin' is snow white ova there." She gestures to Genkan for effect.
"My party members…" Defend us, Genkan! "They are not capable." Aaa~h!
"We- we're capable!" Maria objects! "Brad has a lot of magic, and… I'm learning!"
Yeah, a lotta magic… that I dunno personally by heart! Although I am a survivor...
Nemuno frowns. "Ain't no learnin' when you're dead. One thing ta make mistakes, s'another thing ta make the big mistake."
Grinnin', I activate my trap card! "I have enough healing items to save a marching band from certain annihilation."
Folding her arms, Nemuno leans back. "Oh, yeah? Lemme see 'em."
...Taking my sack off my waist, I hold it up. "Here, yo."
...Reaching forward, she grabs it from me and looks in. Then, she reaches inside…
…
After some digging, she pulls out that freakin' WebDings book about fruit or some shit. Flipping it open, she looks inside it… "Oh." Yeah, that was my reaction too…!
She puts the book back inside- freakin', why- and digs through it summore. "...Wha~t." Slowly, she starts to tug out a string of red bikinis. Oh shit, I forgot about those…! "Boy."
Genkan just sighed. "I knew there was a reason I never asked what was inside."
Maria blushes, turning away! "I… don't need to see that."
"They're just bikinis!" I defend myself! "I got 'em from a shed at the Palace 'a Earth Spirits!"
Nemuno chuckles. "Boy~ who you tryin'a fool!? Like…!" Her eyes widen as she pulls the string, and there're more bikinis! "Look at this! You sell out a whore house alone!?"
"Wawaa~h…" Maria, don't think about that too hard…! I see you thinkin' over there, stop thinkin'!
"They're mine!" Ha-chan exclaims!
Wat. No they're not?
We all turn to her, and she smiles. "I wore them." Why.
...Stuffing the bikinis back into the sack, she hands it over to me. "Just- just pull out summa ya stupid 'healin' items' or however you wanna call 'em. Nice bag, too."
I snort. "Gee, thanks…" Diggin' through the bag, I take out a freakin' health potion. "Here, yo. I got seven 'a these things. Seven health potions!"
...Nemuno's brows are furrowed. "Now what is a health potion?" You've got to be shitting me.
"You've never used a potion before." I am skeptical…!
"No~." Shaking her head, she looks skeptical 'a me. "The fuck's a magic fairy potion s'possed ta do? If ya had seven asses that could be cut off when them robots dice ya up good, that'd be a different story."
"Um…" Unsurely, Maria begins… "Have you ever been hurt really bad and been able to heal from it really fast?"
...Nemuno tilts her head back 'n' forth. "Eeh, sorta. I'm a Yamanba, so I heal fasta' than humans and take more. Same time though, there've been a few times where I got banged up somethin' fierce. Usually spent awhile in bed, used whatever herbs I had ta keep by. Got medical stuff on me always, yeah?"
"Was there ever a time it was instant?" I think I see where Maria's goin' wit' this…
Nemuno nods, and starts gesturing as she tells her story. "One time, I got my ass kicked when me 'n' some tengu were beatin' down a real mean lookin' animal, an' they fed me some kinda medicine that accelerated my healin' somethin' fierce. I never got what they used, but one of 'em told me the key ingredient was glowin' mushroom. Kinda weird, 'cause we don't get glowin' mushroom up here really."
"That was a health potion, then." Maria smiled, nodding with her arms behind her back… "They just probably didn't tell you."
…Nemuno double took! "You've got seven 'a those, boy!?" Now she gets it!
"Yeah, yo!" I nod!
…
While this has been goin' on, Genkan seems to have created multiple miniature ice sculptures with her hands in the time we've been chattering up a storm. Ha-chan's killin' time watching her…
Nemuno notices this, too. "Aah, hell. Whatever, go on out there and hurt yaselves, then. You got them 'potion' things, but I still don't feel good 'bout it."
...Genkan sets a tenth tiny icicle sculpture down on the counter near her. "I'm glad we have your permission, mountain woman."
...Gainin' a friendly glare, Nemuno gazes at her. "Yeah, yeah. Don't let these pipsqueaks die now, snow woman. Give that boy some sugar, too, he's itchin'." Freakin'...!
"They will be safe." Genkan's had enough romantic prodding!
"I dunno!" Nemuno's got a shit eating grin…! "Maybe he wouldn't be out takin' y'all to get munched by big damn robots if he got laid once 'er twice, y'know what I'm sayin'!?"
Genkan does not look happy…! Aaa~h, aaa~h!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Here we are, yo. On the road aga~in… all on our-... togetherness, again!
"The kappa valley should be in this direction." Genkan states. She says it factually, but I'm pretty sure she's just guessing where we should be goin'...
I'm wavin' Youkai Inconveniencer around like a flashlight as we move along the mountain side. The robot situation's not as bad as it was, bu~t…
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Another one 'a those green shockwave makin' things with a big fossilized bone gear thing on its back hobbles out of the woods ahead, makin' straight for us.
I help out by pointing at it! "It's the tenth thing 'a it we've ever saw!" Aaa~h!
Lifting Hard Winter- which I'd lent her earlier- Genkan charges it with magical energy… a~nd-
Fwam! A big, cyan projectile is launched from it-
Fwash! It explodes into icy energy once it hits the big thing, freezing its flesh solid.
...Slowly, it starts to hobble along, despite its limbs being rigidly locked up.
Maria darts ahead of us, aiming her staff! "Blizzard!"
Fwa~sh! She unleashes a shotgun spread of snowflakes at our enemy!
"Nn-gh-gh-gh…" It makes some kinda noise as it tilts backward, flopping over-
Fwo-fwo-fwoo~sh! On expiration, it explodes into a buncha freakin'... wind.
"Another one gone…" Maria lets out a breath.
Genkan drifts forward. "It came from ahead." ...A lot of things come from ahead, y'know. Freakin'...
We all run after her, except for Ha-chan, who floats.
Very quickly, we come to a big freakin'... metal plate, or something. The fog doesn't let us see much more, and my flashlight only does so much.
"What is this?" Genkan knocks on the metal.
"Metal." I educate her, smiling warmly…
...She turns to me, giving me a stare.
Maria starts moving around the side of it, her staff ready. I start movin' to make sure we're keepin' on the ups with her-
As we near the edge, a fairy bot comes from around the corner! "He-he-he! Hello-"
"Fire!" Maria reacts on instinct!
Bam! ...The robot's head's blown off before it gets a chance to say much else.
Thunk. It fell over, yo-
SHING
...After it collapsed, a huge fuck-off sword extended from its abdomen, stretching taller than Maria. "A-ah…!"
Freakin'... "You gotta look out, yo. The fairies're packin' heat…!"
"Ap- apparently…" Maria skirts around the robot cautiously…
"I'm warm!" Ha-chan hugs herself, before approaching me. Freakin'... aw.
Once we round the corner, we reach a big, wide open doorway. It's really plain and blocky, but also really shiny.
There's a slouching fairy before the door, with short orange hair and no wings. Hoh…
...Takin' out the Bawmber, I approach it beside Maria!
"Woah…" The orange-haired bot fairy mutters something, staring at the doorframe for some reason.
"Um…" Maria tries to talk with it, this time. "Hey."
"Woa~h…" Yes that is indeed a doorframe, robo-fairy.
"...Hey?" Maria tries again.
Staring down at the floor, the robot appears dejected. "Woah…"
…
Genkan sighs. "Truly riveting-"
"Woah!" Springing up, it yells! "Woahwoahwoahwoahwoah!" Floating into the air, it gravitates towards us-
Boom! I throw the Bawmber into it as it enlarges and expands! Fucking… what was that!?
Plap- splat, plap plap. Now there's an oily mess before us...
"Maybe we shouldn't try talking with them." Genkan neutrally assesses the success rate of our negotiations with the robot menace.
"...Yeah." Maria nods at that.
"I don't like robots…" Ha-chan emerges from behind me like a cuddlemuffin, for some reason. "They're messy, and not friendly..." They pretty much are the antithesis of fairies.
Grabbin' my hanger as we navigate past the chemical ooze that came outta that one robot, I look inside. It's pretty freakin' dark, but also seemingly dimly lit…
...Oo~h. Once we actually get inside, things're a little more visible.
Wow. This place is a fucking dump!
Tables, shelves, and blocks of machinery sit all around this first room we've stepped into. Dust, dirt, and clumpy crap is piled in places and just kinda everywhere. There's a buncha inactive robots lying around in places, too.
The floor's some kinda white tile, but it's kinda beat up. They beat the floor the fuck up, dude. What'd the floor ever do to them!?
"...Marvelous." Genkan frowns at the condition of the place. "It seems we've stumbled into a ruin."
A ruin, huh. I guess you could call it that. Maria stares into the darkness of the hall ahead…
"I don't like it here." Ha-chan states rather bluntly. That's the first time that's happened…!
"We got a buncha' damn dirty floor killers here, ladies…" I am brave enough to march forward! Genkan's pretty much right next ta me, though. "Everything else was fine, yo, but when they touched the floor tiles…"
In the next room i~s… ah. More crappy tables and dirt and dead robot friends. There's some boxes of sand in the corner, or something. Good.
We move through that room, and immediately end up in a room with a far more maintained grey floor. It's still dirty, but crap ain't scattered all over it like in the previous rooms.
Oh, man, this place has so many doors. It is the time for running around randomly like assholes!
Genkan observes this thing in the corner of this room from a distance. "...What is that?"
It's a cylindrical device of some kind, with a big valve at the top. Mounted in the floor, really grey, and really old lookin'!
...I step towards it, promptin' Genkan ta do the same.
She drifts up to the machine- I think it's a machine- and grabs onto the big valve. "...Nn~gh!" Woah. She can't even twist it…? How fuckin' tight is this valve, dude?
"...It's no good." She drifts back from it… "Stay back. I will attack it."
As one does with foreign technology! "Alright, yo…!"
"I don't think we should just break things…" Maria cautions us-
Kri~ng! Ice spi~ke! Freakin' popped it open like a can!
...As the ice blade spike thing retracts into the ground, we all meander towards the smashed open valve thing.
Inside is machinery. Machinery, and some kinda red, inky stuff. It's too fake-looking to be blood, but it's crimson, so it's still freakin' weird. There's like roller things mixing it around, too. They're pretty damn durable if they lived through Genkan's heavy physical attack, too...
Fwash! Genkan freezes it. Wahaha!
I punch the air! "Yeah! Fuck this ink batter mixer in particular!"
"...I feel accomplished." Genkan is pleased! "Let us proceed."
"We didn't even do anything…" Maria tries to rain on our parade, yo. "We just… broke something."
"And so we did a thing." Genkan knows what's up! "Forward." She drifts ahead of us, deeper into the freakin' abandoned complex. I like how property damage is okay if we don't know how powerful the owners are...
This time, we enter a huge room. Yo~…
It is big, and there's big machinery around the place! Most of it's mounted to the walls, though. We're currently on a catwalk high above the floor of the room, made outta dinky-lookin' blue metal.
"Wa- wow…" Maria is amazed! "So big…"
Clack.
"Eeh!?" She flinches! Something went clack in the dark!
"Sorry." Genkan apologizes. Oh, that was her sandals landing on the catwalk…
Damn, this place is quiet for a freakin' robot hell center. Especially 'cause we've just been gettin' inundated with mooks on the way here…
We progress down the catwalk, moving deeper into the dark freakin'...
Putting away the Bawmber, I take Youkai Inconveniencer back out and shine it around! S'too dark!
...The catwalk bends left and into the wall, and we follow it into another room.
At first the hallway's just thin and dark, but it quickly opens up into a room-
Click! Holy shit! Everything's lit now!
The unhealthy-looking florescent lights flicker to life, making the room we're in appear dim. They're also so economic they hardly light anything worth a damn. Normally I'd freakin' hate these lights, but this is the first time I've seen them in like, a month, so it's weirdly nostalgic...
Along the walls are big, steel canisters. They're not the asshole valve from the second room in; these are just like... wall mounted canisters. They look like they open down the middle, but I dunno how the frik you'd even.
"Let us blow one open, yo." We must destroy that which we do not understand! I point at a random canister. "Kill it, Genkan!"
She throws her arm up-
Krii- Crack!
Wow. Her ice spell broke against it. Those canisters are still bigger than us, too…
I hold my head! "It's the unkillable can!"
Genkan huffed. "These metals…"
...Actually, I gots an idea.
"Yo, Maria." Putting away Youkai Inconveniencer, I start takin' out Flame Salvo… "Let's cook this freakin' metal. Help, friend."
"Um…?" She dunno what I meant! "You- you want me to cast fire on it?"
I shake my head, moving towards the big tubby canister… "Nah, just pour mana into this hanger wit' me."
...She moves up to me, and puts her hands on the hanger as I aim the nozzle bit of it at the metal.
After some moments of her charging the hanger, I activate the flame part!
Fwoom! A gush of flames roars into the canister! After a moment, she regulates her mana output to keep it as a concentrated flame…
Genkan nodded at this… "Tell me when to apply cold air." Aw, she knows, yo.
...After we've heated it enough to make a spot glow, I make the announcements and things. "Alright, Maria. Let's roll back…"
"Alright." She backpedals with me, ceasing the hanger's mana flow.
Genkan holds an arm out towards the canister-
CRACK
Ow, ears. Also, woa~h! That exterior just freakin' split open…!
Fwuu~sh. Cyan liquid pours out of the interior, running over the grimey linked catwalk floor beneath us and dripping through the holes in it. In the room's dim atmosphere, it looks a lot more sickly than it probably is.
Raising both arms, Genkan focuses on the metal-
CRACK, CRACK, CRACK…
"Nnn~..." Ha-chan whined behind us, crouching down. "Ow, ow, ow…"
Genkan was basically prying the canister open by expanding ice in the midst of the tiny crack made in it by our temperature shenaniganry. Metal's thick!
"My ea~rs…" Maria is not having fun, either!
Bam! ...That final noise of the container's sides giving way was rather anticlimactic.
Fwuu~sh! All the cyan goop comes out! Aw…
Thud. Aah… is that a fairy? Yeah. A fairy just ragdolled out of the canister. She's buck naked, and her wings are curiously propped up behind her back rather unhealthily looking…
She's got blonde hair. In fact, she looks the exact same as that robot that came up to Nemuno's house.
"Aw…" I kneel down and look at the fairy. "We've found the pod people. They look soft, and pliable."
...After givin' me a funny look, Maria crouches, looking over the fairy too. "Is… is she alright?"
I'd reach out and touch her, but I don't really wanna interact with that cyan goop. Freakin'...
Ha-chan finally starts to stand again. "My- my head hurts…" Wazzap with her?
Thoom. The doorway we came in through shut. I mean… we got Genkan, so we could probably mine through the metal or something eventually. S'not that intimidatin'!
"Now who might you be?"
We all look up to a newcomer!
It's someone stout, with blonde hair and a freakin' eye reticle thing. It might be a kappa! "I am service officer two hundred sixty-eight. This factory does not do tours."
Maria speaks! "Um- we… we were just-"
I speak, too! "I'm service officer sixty-nine, son. I came to inspect your fairy friends!"
...The maybe-a-kappa frowns, before pulling out- tha~t's a shotgun! "If that is so~, then..." After sighting Ha-chan, the kappa lowers the shotgun it had aimed at us. "Oh. Nevermind. Are you one of the- rooting teams?" This guy likes to take weird pauses!
Maria's hiding behind her staff. "Ye- yes, yes!"
"Yeah, yo." I point a finger at him! "I told ya I was service officer sixty-nine! Y'freakin' boob!"
"Do not push your luck, imbecile." Service officer kappa man is not happy with us! "You should all be honored- to take part in our project. Not that you will have a place- when it is done."
Genkan has observed enough to feel comfortable about being unreasonable again! "Your words are arrogant for a kappa. What are you after?"
Shaking his head, he turned around and moved forward. "Follow me, common youkai. I will escort you, and your prize, to our holding facilities, and then you will be shown the door." Aw. Good plan, yo. I've always wanted to see doors...
We follow the stuffy kappa service man through the room, leaving the freakin' nugget fairy we found behind.
The new room we've entered…
There's a lot going on!
In this room, green glowing vats of goo sit in the back. Oh, boy!
On the floor below the current catwalk we're on- which merely hugs one of the walls and doesn't go anywhere special- there's a buncha people and things.
What looks like fairy maids, except they move far too orderly. They've also all got identical pink hair, so they definitely ain't legit!
Also, freakin'... weird-looking women with glowing cloaks and long pink hair. Dunno what that's about, but they're havin' the time of their freakin' lives down there! Look at 'em dance- oh, right, word-based fiction. Sorry…!
I'm starting to get the feeling we may not supposed to be here!
"Hey, officer two thousand officer man!" I call out to officer man…!
The kappa huffs, looking over at us. "Wha~t?"
"What's big, and round, and big all over?" I quiz him, dude. Let's see his smarts!
...He just blinks at us. "What?"
Okay, noob. "What?" I ask of him!
"...Are you making fun of me?" He sneers at us. "By my honor, I will have your organs extracted." Aw.
"Yes, I am making fun of you." I admit.
...Looking upset, he begins to draw his shotgun!
I put my arms up! "Dude- I can't help it! It's a medical condition!"
"Rr~gh…!" This dude's mad! "The only condition- you will be having, is-"
Fwa~sh! Genkan freezes him solid before he can do anything with that shotgun of his.
...Givin' her a grin, I start to march forward! What lies in the next room? If it's more catwalks, I'm just gonna freakin'... jump off and die, yo.
"He was annoying." Genkan justified her action as she moved in my wake, the other friends movin' in her wake. Aw, trust me yo, you didn't need justification…!
We make it to room number whatever.
...It's the same as the last room, except there's a staircase down into the clusterfuck of robot maids and weird cloak-clad ladies. And- oh, there's some new contenders this time, too.
One of the goo vats in the back of the room's slightly tilted, and the green shit's on the floor. Yeah, let's not ever get near that. Although, if we do get cancer or something, I'm pretty sure Eirin could take care of it.
...After a moment of staring at it, I realize the green shit's moving, too. Not gonna ask questions, just gonna keep goin'...!
...I turn to Genkan as we all assemble at the staircase. "I gave you that hanger for a reason, yo. Let's fight through!"
"Joy." She stares over the horde of freakin' noobs below us, doing their things. "How about we try not aggravating them?"
...Shit. She's kinda got a point… except…!
I raise a finger! "Didn'cha say that wasn't gettin' us nowhere?"
"That was back when we ran into one or two at a time." She resolved. "...We've also somewhat breached enemy lines now, it seems."
This is true…
...To experiment, I took out that freakin' stupid book about fruit juice or whatever and tossed it into the crowd.
Cla~ng! It hit a robot fairy's head.
Instantly, she stopped, and lifted her arms at the nearest fellow robot fairy-
Click, click. Her hands folded off, the wrists opening to reveal-
Patatatatat!
They've got fucking machine guns in their wrists, dude. Holy shit!
Cling-bam-clank-bam-pa~ng! The fairy maid that was shot into collapsed into a limp ragdoll of exposed machinery within moments.
The dancing cloaked whatever-the-hell girls all stopped dancing, looking over at the offending robot…
"Aa~h? Oh…"
"One of the robo-cuties went on the fritz again!"
"Aww~h. How lame…"
"I thought the things were fixed…"
Lots of voices, all at once!
...After some careful observation from up here, I've realized that that glob of goo that was moving was not just a glob of likely radioactive crap… but it looks like a slime girl, too! It's moving really slowly, though.
"Perhaps…" Looking along the ceiling, Genkan spots a catwalk on the opposite side of the level we're on. "I've an idea."
Maria's keepin' quiet, not really enthused about the idea of the robot menace below.
Ha-chan looks like she's about to pass out, or something! Considering they hold fairies in suspended animation here, it's probably something in the air or the mana or something.
Fwi-fwi-fwi-fwish. Genkan slowly, quietly generates an ice bridge from across this catwalk to the next…
"What… is that?" We're attracting attention from the weird pink-haired ladies below!
"Maybe it's a new type. Someone get the ID, please?" Aaa~h!
"...No signal!" Cover's blown, son!
Fwash! Genkan initializes the entire bridge in one moment, and starts whirling across it!
"Go!" Maria almost screams the word as she leaps onto the bridge-
Thunk. -and slips and falls on her face. "Onh…"
Ha-chan scrambles towards the bridge after a delay, and throws herself onto it. "Enh…"
Once on it, she accelerates forward with her flight, pulling herself- "Woah!" -and Maria along, once she grapples her.
I get on last, and start using Flame Salvo to usher myself along the ice…! Every time I hit the ice, it makes short-lived fire!
...Reaching the end of the glorified slip'n'slide, I-
"Oof…" I land on the friends who reached the end.
"Nnh." Ha-chan whines.
"Ow." Maria gets a boo-boo.
...Wait- woah what the fuck!? The cloaked thing chick girls- they fly! They're flappin' their cloaks like bats! The fuck!
Double takin' at this, I whip to look at Genkan! "Yo- get us the fuck outta here!"
...That means you too, sleepy noobs!
Moving quickly, I freakin' start lugging Ha-chan as Maria gets up- oo~h! Genkan grabs onto me, and starts pulling me, which pulls Ha-chan, who pulls Maria-
Thud! Maria falls on her face, 'cause Ha-chan's just holding onto her ankle. "Aah!"
Like this, Genkan just skids backward with zero direction! Wahoo~!
...Ahead of us, those cloaked girls make it onto the balcony we accessed, and start freakin' whirling after us. They look vampiric, but actual vampires are far faster.
As Genkan accelerates, we pass by a buncha freakin' weird ass machines, and more canisters, and freakin'...!
Woosh! We take a sharp turn!
"Eah…!" Maria lets out a strained noise as we get jerked along!
Ow- ow, arms. Ow oof my bones, yo.
So, yeah. We're just going crazy taxi down these freakin' spy tech corridors…
Woosh! Genkan flies up. What the fu~ck…! Dude- my arms are not built for this! They're not built for anything, but especially not holding two people as I ascend! Aaargh!
...What- what're we even passing!? Catwalks!? I don't really give a shit…!
And then-
Bam- thud, bam! She casts us across the floor as we get to the top of whatever hell shaft we were ascending. "There…"
Dude, that's the last time I call an uber driver. My a~rms…! They burn!
Maria lets out a haunted sigh, lyin' on her side ahead of me. "O-... ow." Yeah, me too. Freakin'... like- this is the freakin' worst, yo. Not injured enough to justify using a potion, but just tuckered out enough to feel like total shit. S'always a hard time, son…
...Well, we're somewhere, now. Aaw, there's even a little guard rail over the freakin' drop we just emerged from. Ain't that cute.
There's one door back from here, and there's, uh… there's a door across the pit, with a stranded balcony leadin' out from it. What, did the architects wanna emphasize this gorgeous view?
"I love me some steel plated walls." I've had enough of this crappy factory! "Freakin'...!"
...Lu~mberin' off the floor, I stumble and mumble on over to the one door at the back of the room, and just kinda…
Swing it open! Yeah!
...Fog, mist. Roof access! Considering how up we went, that'd kinda figure.
I jog out into the air! Fresh air good for Brad!
Ha-chan's instantly outside with me. "Haa~h…!" She takes a deep breath!
...Scrambling outside with us, Maria holds her staff up. "Fire!"
Fwoom. She lobs a fireball into the air, for some reason. Yeah, get 'em girl, get 'em!
Genkan takes a breath. "...I think I agree with Hana. The interior of this facility is awful."
…
Takin' a deep breath of the foggy air, I walk out onto the blank steel-plated roof. It's really reflective, for some reason.
"Yo, Genkan." I call for yuki-friend. "Ya still got Hard Winter, yeah?"
She does! Drifting over to me, she holds it up with one arm. "Would you like it back?"
"Nah, yo." I point at the floor. "I got an idea, yo. We're gonna drill into the roof!"
"...Okay." Genkan looks skeptical at first, but actually accepts the idea. "I feel as though heating the metal repeatedly might be too much."
Hrmm. If we can't chip away at it, maybe we can make a really fuckin' brutal explosion.
"Alright…" I rub my hands together, before takin' out the Bawmber. "We're gonna make fat fairy, yo."
Ha-chan looks up at me! "...The whah?"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
It took some brainstorming, but…!
We got a block 'a ice mounted to the rooftop, with the Bawmber inside it. Fire is being fed into the floor beneath to heat it, and-
"Fire!" Maria casts another fireball while simultaneously fueling Flame Salvo.
Fwam! The fireball hits the floor, too. Gettin' it up there!
Basically, it's like… we got a ball of ice with the bomb hanger in it, Genkan looming over it and about to hit it into the floor with the earth-ice hanger, and Maria heating the floor until it's able ta be shat on.
...We've also got freakin' ice blast shields, courtesy of Genkan.
"Alright, yo!" I give her the go-ahead! "Commence the boom!"
Crack! Genkan brings the ice hanger down on the orb-
FWAM. It hits the floor, making a huge ice shockwave-
CRACK
Fuck, me. Ears, help.
...Once the ringing stops, we see a small hole in the ceiling. It's not big, but it's a hole!
Genkan hovers over the hole. "I'll carry you in."
...Crawlin' out from around her blast shield with both the fire hanger and her staff still held, Maria sheepishly approaches the yuki-onna's arms. "Will it, um… really be oka- aah!" I push her into the embrace and leap at Genkan after her!
"Mmh…!" Maria's head is forced between the yuki-onna's breasts, due to me hugging onto Genkan for dear life!
...Sighing, she lowers us down into the factory. Ha-chan stands at the top restlessly, before leaping in after us.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...We land next to the broken chunk of ice holding my bomb hanger.
I deattach-
"Wawawa~...!" Maria almost immediately stumbles back from the yuki-onna's form, before hugging herself. "Aaah…" She doesn't seem to be chilled, just… flustered.
Ha-chan darts down next to me. "I wanna leave…" Something about the inside of this factory ain't agreein' with her…
Also, we're in the freakin' darkness again. Raah.
"Wazzap, Ha-chan?" I wanna know what's botherin' her. Lemme just, put away some of these hangers I've got out…
"It hurts to be in here…" She presses closer to me. "The fairies here hurt." Aah?
...Taking out Youkai Inconveniencer, I make it glow again. Let there be light, yo.
We're currently standing on an inactive conveyor belt, apparently.
To our left is a pile of robot parts, hollow fairy-shaped head pieces mixed with various other ceramic and plastic body parts.
Before us there is an active conveyor belt, however. Those tubby cyborg fairies are on it, being pushed along, seemingly unaware of our presence.
"Yo." I point at the conveyor belt. "Let's stop that belt, girls!" Property dama~ge!
Fwash! Genkan tries to freeze it with a wave of her hands, but just got ice all over the wheels.
Krik-crack-crack! It quickly got worked off by the belt's rotors. Freakin'...
"It's a little big." Maria restates the size! "I don't think we'll be able to just… freeze it."
I wonder where it goes, yo. Hmm…
Idea. "Genkan, freeze one of them so hard they become a block bigger than the belt… or just make a really long ice stick on the belt or something." This is like a freakin' puzzle game.
Fwi~sh. There we go, yo. Genkan's big icy stick!
...Yeah, that's too good of a phrase to let die. "Nice big icy stick, Genkan."
"...I suppose." She completely missed the innuendo! Maybe I'm just that much of a manchild, yo.
We watch Genkan's big icy stick slowly get confiscated by the conveyor belt. Where no big icy stick has gone before!
…
After a moment of tracing its path with my hanger-based flashlight, I see it stop up against a door on the far other side of the room.
The inactive cyborg fairies start colliding with it, starting to pile up at the door. Sabomatage successful! Sabatonmatage…?
While the freakin' action figures pile up, I leap onto the conveyor- ohp nope no I don't! Faster than anticipated, fuck that!
Genkan snorts. "Careful. If you fall, I'm pretty sure we couldn't find you." Those words aren't reassuring! The belts we're on are in the freakin' air…
...While we're idle, the cyborgs pile up more 'n' more, and some start getting pushed off the belt and into the abyss below. Oh no.
"They've become nuggets, dude." I point out the physics problem!
"I don't feel good about this place…" Maria is understandably skittish about being in the pitch black asshole of a robot factory. "Somebody could just… get lost and die in here. No one would ever find them."
...Turnin' to her, I grin. "S'that so different from dying out in the woods?"
"At least the woods make the situation more hopeful!" Maria bites back! "...This is horrible." Yeah. This place is pretty much undistilled, objective machinery. If you die it's just 'cause you fell somewhere weird and it sucks to be you…!
...Hoh, shit. Ha-chan's crying, apparently. Now I'm starting to get spooked by being in just black with only a pile of dead parts nearby...
"I can carry you two again." Genkan volunteers to carry us. "...Hana, fly behind me, okay?"
Ha-chan sniffs. "Ok- okay…"
Me 'n' Maria let ourselves get scooped up, and Genkan begins to hover us over towards where the robots're coming from…
Genkan's embrace at least is a nice contrast to all the freakin'... metal.
...Eventually, we come to a dip in the wall along the conveyor belt that leads to a like, glowing cyan scanner thing. It's really dimly lit, and the cyborgs are goin' through it.
To the right's a door, and since there's another door on the other side, it's a door around!
...The cyborgs are gaining the biological-looking bits from the cyan scanner. Yo ho ho~.
"Nnn~...!" Ha-chan sounds like she's undergoing nuclear fusion as she gets closer to it with us. She even lands on the balcony before the door into the subroom before us and just stumbles into the nearby wall. "Stop- stop…"
"Let's break this." Genkan is eager to destroy!
Oof. She unceremoniously plopped me and Maria down on the balcony, too…
She waves her arms out, and thrusts them upward-
Fwash! A coat of ice formed over the lit scanner gradient, before immediately crumbling apart. The ice bits that went through the scanner gained a fleshy coat, combined with some particles of rainbow-colored hair…
Ha-chan shuddered despite not even seeing it happen. "O- ooh…"
Walkin' up to the door, I open it-... oh. Shit's locked. Who the hell locks their shit in the ass crack of a factory?
Knock knock, son.
…
Another reticle-eyed fella swings the door open. She's as short as the last dude, and she's also got blonde hair and… seems to be chewing bubblegum. Kappa have that? "Mmm?" She stares up at me with a bored expression.
"I'm the sheriff, son." I am also like, two feet taller than you. "I'm here to fuck you."
…
Still looking bored, she takes out a shotgun similar to that last guy's. "Ka~y."
I hold up my hands! "Yo yo- just kidding, just kidding! It's uh, me. Service officer sixty-nine!"
...She lowers her shotgun. "Pussy. What's up?" Freakin'... you'd think me not being a kappa would give me away, but maybe we missed something.
"I was sent here…" Choosing my words carefully! "To inspect! Some of our latest big guys, they uh… they've got the cancer, dude."
As she steps inside, I put away Youkai Inconveniencer. The interior is lit and stuff, albeit dimly.
"Haha~." She lets out a dry laugh as she moves back to her control panel. "Cool. It only figures. Isn't that, like, kind of the point, too…?"
I shake my head. "No. Dude, there's a scanner that gives them cancer later. This scanner gives them the wrong cancer."
"The wrong cancer…?" She might detect my bullshit…! "Ah, fuck it. I dunno~. Do whatever."
Plopping down into her swivel chair, she lets herself relax in it and spins to the side… "Don't touch me or I'll blow your head o~ff. Do whatever else you want."
You don't even have boobs. Anyway…
Fwash! Sounds like Genkan tried to freeze the scanner outside again.
...The kappa girl pauses, hearing this. "What's that?"
I turn to her, my eyes widening. "The cancer."
Her eyes widen, too…! "Oh, fuck. Wrong type of cancer, alright…"
Wahoho! Alright, yo…
I loom over the control panel! And, uh… it's a panel that controls, alright. I don't know what the fuck any 'a this is supposed to do.
Whelp, whatever! Time to push buttons!
Glancing back at the kappa girl, I see she's half-watching me. Hrrm. If only she didn't have a freakin' shotgun on her… shit's intimidatin'!
While I look like a scatterbrained idiot at the controls, I probe the kappa's brain a bit! "So, what's your service number, yo~?"
"Fuck you." Oh. Yeah, that's a good number. "...I guess I'll throw a bone. Seventeen thirty-seven."
You know… "That's as if there was two thousand of us or something." I quip, despite not knowing if the service numbers are like… real numbers.
She snorts. "Ri~ght? Two thousand robots, maybe." ...So, they don't have two thousand kappa. This is good!
"How many of us were there, again?" I question. "...Ya can tell I'm not a kappa and all, so like-"
"Like… five or seven kappa. Something." She lazily waves an arm about, spinning around on her chair once… "Probably random youkai like you, too. Weird stuff."
Hoh. Cool, cool… so we're competing with some assholes.
Yo! I just realized, I could- oh, nope. I was considering pouring water from Deep Blue all over the controls, but if this is a kappa-made factory… yeah.
...I could try concentrating danmaku into a single button until it causes a miniature explosion. Maybe not. Freakin'...!
"Hold on, need my maintenance key…" I give myself a reason to step out. "Think I left it outside with the stupid equipment."
"Aah, sure." The kappa girl's none the wiser, yo…
...Stepping outside, I look around.
Ha-chan's balled up in the corner with Maria comforting her, and Genkan's glaring at the scanner thing.
Wait, actually…!
Taking out the Bawmber, I walk back inside! "Got the key!" I got the perfect excuse!
Lazily, she looks over at me. "Aah…" Freakin'...
Steppin' up to the console, I hold the hanger carefully over a random key… lift it, and then-
Boom! Wahaha!
I allow myself to stumble back as if the blast hurt me more than it did, throwing the hanger into the air as I retreated from the console-
Boom! As it fell back down, it exploded again!
"What the fuck!?" She sprang up from her chair! "What'd you do!?"
"Dude- ow! Fuck!" I hug my arm to me as if I got injured badly! "Oww~...! Ow!"
Lookin' between me and the console, she starts glaring…! "You dumbass! You broke it!"
...Maria and Genkan are in the doorway, 'cause they heard me yelling! I look over at them, before quickly lookin' back at the kappa...
I hold up my 'good arm'. "Dude- I didn't know! They made it wrong- I didn't know!"
...Slowly, she starts to take out that shotgun from her back. "If I'm gonna get fucked for this..." She starts to aim it at me…!
Fwa~sh!
...Genkan has freezed her. Christ. Enemies with guns are pretty damn intimidating!
The console seems to be kaput. The monitors above it are all red or blue screen of death now, and some of them are cracked.
Movin' up to the door to the other side of the scanner, I jiggle the handle before swinging it open.
...Ah, yeah yo. Scanner disabled!
Genkan comes from the door behind me. "Are you alright?" Hoh.
I wave my arms about. "Ye. Had to make it not look like my fault, yo."
"...I see." Genkan states, despite it being nearly pitch black without Youkai Inconveniencer out. You lie!
Maria catches up with us! "Are- are you okay!?"
I shake my head. "No. They got me, dude."
…
She takes a pretend swing at me with her staff, which I lean outta the way of. "Wh- what was that, then…?"
"Skills to pay the bills, dude." That reminds me...
I start to move back into the room, before seein' that Ha-chan's moved through it to navigate to us.
"Yo ho ho." I greet the cuddle fairy. "You good?"
"Yeah…" She looks a little better! "Stuff still hurts. I'm okay, though…"
Hmm. We could use her as a compass to find more scanner things and production line bits, but manually dismantling and shitting on this factory would take forever. We gotta go right to the top, yo.
Looking around this new balcony, I see this big new room we're exposed to…
Dim green lights seem to be illuminating random spots on systematically placed metal columns ahead. There's also some on the floor of the room, which is way, way, way down… and we can also see the forms of inactive robo-fairies lying in wait, apparently.
...Oh, hoh! There's a metal platform nearby with some of them on it, as well. These ones have freakin' stoopid jet wings attached to their sides and asses, green ones in accordance with their minimalistic, metallic uniforms. Is this like, the big shebang? What is this?
...There's a little door lit up with warm orange lighting some distance away. I point at it. "Genkan, friend. Ya see that light?"
"...Indeed." The one time you coulda said 'I see', and you don't! "Do you want me to take you there?"
"Ye." I hold out my arms!
...Awkwardly, Maria moves to grab onto me-
-and then Genkan lifts us! Ho ho…
We float up towards the door, moving past the really big steel pillars and foreign lights. Ha-chan's right behind us, not opposed to heading towards our next location…
...After a moment of flight, we reach the door. It only has a platform before it and no guard rails, so we gotta be anal about our landing.
...Deliberately, Genkan places us on the platform. "Here. My arms are getting tired…"
A little over-cautiously, I move to the door. It's got one of those bar things you press to open it, which is weird but okay…
Crrea~k. Metallic creaking!
...Inside, the room has no lighting but that of like, four screens. That's like my room when I was back at home yo, minus three of the screens! And the screen size…!
The four screens we see are mounted to the walls.
On each of them, a heroine is displayed. From left to right: Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, and Youmu. Apparently Sakuya chose to care about the robots after all! They just seem to be floating in mist, tossing things and having brief skirmishes with noobs…
The picture doesn't come in the best, but I can tell it's them! Aw. Gensokyo TV, dude.
"Room servi~ce!" I call out in case anyone's here. The light of the screens makes the room bright enough to generally see things. There's no dim ceiling lights, but there are dark panels on the walls for some reason. They might be windows, but I can't tell if that's stuff inside 'em or if they're just really messy…
At the front of the room, there's cords for the screens! That's… about it. Also, a person.
"Yo~!" I call out to the person sitting in the middle of freakin' featureless steel tiles. "Service officer sixty-nine, here to spread peace to fairykind!" Air hump! Enh, enh, enh!
...Genkan stares me down. "Convincing."
The individual turns to me, making me realize the back of their head was bobby, short blue hair. Instead of a face… they had a mask on! A tiki-like mask!
Rustic, wooden brown- the mask had five seemingly randomly placed holes on it, each lit up with amber light, as if the thing wearing it had randomly placed eyes. The bottom had a teeth-like design, while the rest was just curvy wood.
"Yo ho ho~!" I wave at our perp! "Boss man! How ya doin', man…?"
"Oh!" The masked girl jerks her head back! "Not too bad, ah? How's about yourself?"
"The world of Gensokyo sucks balls now, now that no one is allowed to bo~ne!" I begin my proposition!
Turning to Genkan, I point at her rear. "We've come from the past, to introduce you to a~ss!" Danny Sexbang's lyrics have never failed me before!
…
I receive no response. Genkan's giving me a jaded expression, and Maria's previous fearfulness became dry astonishment.
"...How's about… yourself?" The kappa tries again, pretending my previous episode didn't exist.
"Oo~h, just, y'know…" I smile at her, noddin'. "Killin' fairies, smokin' whizz, doin' cohke, drinkin' beers. Drinkin' beers, beers, beers, beers…!" I start snappin' my fingers!
…
Yeah, I think I overdid it.
After a moment of non-response, there was response! "Good! You see, I was just waiting for them…" Tiki-girl gestures to the screen. "Are you here for employment? Because you're hired!"
Yo~! I rub my hands together! "Aw, cool! What're our options, yo!?"
...Maria and Genkan just look at one another. Wahaha!
"Bomb testing, mutilation testing, and expendables!" Boss girl offers us positions.
Daa~h. "...What's bomb testing like?" That sounds the most appealing out of the three.
"You sit in a room and get blown up." Masked girl nods. "It's a lot of fun. Really!"
Good. Sounds like a fun job. "...So what's uh, mutilation testing like?"
"You sit in a room and get blown up." Masked girl nods, again.
Freakin'... "No doin' cohke or drinkin' beers?" Say it ain't so!
"There's this yellow flakey stuff the natural mana compressor fuel pools build up every twenty minutes." The girl informs us. "I wanna make someone eat it." ...That doesn't sound like hard drugs, yo. That sounds like freakin'...
I hold up my arms. "Alright, alright, yo. What's an expendable."
Holding up her hand- which has thick green gloves on- she points at the door. "You go outside, and ah, wait for the nature girls to show up. Then you sit in that room and get blown up."
I think she's tryin'a tell us somethin' here...
Genkan floats into the air a little, tryin' to be intimidatin'! "We ask that you shut down this operation. You're harming nature, and disturbing the peace."
The girl jerks her head back, her mask rotating on her face curiously. "Disturbing the peace? In Gensokyo? Hahaha~!"
"...Disturbing my peace, at least." Genkan gets personal! "Among others."
"There is no peace." Masked girl counters bluntly, before turning back to the screen. "...I'm restless, you know?"
"Yeah." I nod, as if I knew. "And I'm rested, yo. And I'm 'onna put this factory ta rest!" Yo~!
Pivoting back around, the girl points at me! "You're under arrest!"
"Not without an armrest!" Must keep rhyme going…!
"Give it a rest." Genkan shuts us down while still keeping up with the rhyme. She reused a word, though…
...Slouching over, the masked girl appeared dejected. "No fun. No fun…"
"As it should be." Genkan drifts forward, arms ready to insta-freeze. "Someone who disturbs others should only expect hardship. It's consequence."
"Con sequence." Masked friend counters! "...But, yeah. It's not like I didn't expect angry people by no~w…"
"Then say no more." Arms whirling with frosty energy, Genkan reels them back…! "This incident-"
"I'm sure you understand." I'm just gonna assume this masked girl's a kappa. 'Cause like… who else builds fuck off factories in the middle of nowhere with ready ease? "...A week from now, it-"
Fwa~sh! The kappa girl is frozen solid, her mask's lights still shining through the ice, giving it an orange tint.
...Hoh. Well, I guess that's mission completed!
"Done and done." Nodding, Genkan floats down onto her sandals. "As anticipated."
...
Maria asks the good question. "What do we do with her…?"
...That is a good question-
Zap-zap, zap zap zap…
The ice she's trapped in is now crackling with electricity. Apparently it ain't over yet, folks…!
Fwoom! The ice catches on fire, too.
Cr-crack! It's breakin' rapidly…!
"Hrrm." Genkan impatiently hums. "It would be easier if she simply submitted. Why persist?"
"I dunno, yo." Speaking time! "Maybe she knows somethin' we don't…!"
Ha-chan speaks up for the first time in awhile. "I'm dizzy…" A~nd it's not good news. Help.
Crack!
The ice collapses in chunks, the kappa girl floating out of it awkwardly. "Hehehe~!" It's almost like her mask's doing the floating, and her body's just along for the ride…
Her body stops being limp, and she casts her arms to her sides-
Fwoom! Fwoom! To our left and right, the previously unlit wall panels light up with bright orange color. They're actually windows... and inside is fire, yo.
Two small rooms are behind each heavy panel of glass, filled with charred, half-melted, smashed fairy-styled robots, among others.
...On the upside, the room is now well lit! Heavy amber light flickers and dances across the steel room, casting everything in warm colors.
Hanging lower in the air, the kappa bobs about, letting her arms dangle. "...You didn't freeze me good enough."
"I won't make that mistake again." Genkan's ready ta roll…!
"Hehehe~..." Shaking her head, the kappa looks down at us. "Come on. You know why I do what I do. Or, are you younger than I give you credit for?" She seems ta be speakin' to Genkan directly. "...I know I'm naive."
"I don't really care." Genkan admits! "Being assaulted by robots is cumbersome." Yeah, yo.
...Slowly, the kappa surveys the rest of us.
"You all just wandered in here, huh?" She tilts her head! "Let me see how your minds compare to mine." He~y, now. Them's fightin' words!
…
Unfurling her fans, Genkan floats forward-
Krii~ng!
...That was not the sound of an ice spike being erupted!
Genkan twirled to the left, avoiding a large, metal-pronged wire shaft that erupted from under a steel tile.
As quick as it sprung up, it retreated, the tile clicking into place neatly above it as it descended.
Click, click! From beneath the televisions that displayed the heroines at work, two similar wire tentacles came out, although their shafts were sturdier than the one that lunged at Genkan from the floor. Comprised of thick, black cord masses.
And- man, those are some big fucking wire tentacles. About as wide as three or four of me…!
Shu-shu-shunk! The kappa's gloved fingers suddenly became like, weird blue and purple striped crystal appendages. "...I have an observation to share." Oh, good. You gonna shove those things into our retinas…!?
"Nnn…" Maria holds her staff tightly!
Her nervousness reminds me of how uh, unbalanced this matchup probably is…! I'm like ninety percent certain only Genkan can fuck with the tentacle things, and I dunno what level the kappa girl's even on.
On the other hand, Genkan has zero healing items. You know who has healing items out the ass? That's right, yo: all the otherwise useless party members!
Floating towards the kappa, Genkan swings an arm up-
Krii~ng! A blade of ice erupts into the leftmost wire tendril, cutting into it but not demolishing it.
"Fire!" Maria aims her staff at the tendril, and shoots a fireball!
Fwam! Tha~t… did literally nothing. No effect. Not even a scorch mark. "...A-aah…" I know your pain, Maria!
Let's see, what can I do? I'm gonna pull out Deep Blue and try to back up Genkan with some water magic. Gotta be careful not to wet myself, how much you wanna bet these assholes got electric up their sleeves? I should've worn my space suit…!
"Hah…" Ha-chan lets out a sigh.
Woosh! Genkan whirls over the kappa, a slice of icy air accenting a swing of her arms!
The kappa dips beneath the slash, and throws an arm-
Fwa-fwa-fwam! Oh geez, it's an enemy that actually follows danmaku rules. We sure bit off a big one, huh…!
Genkan's struck by some revolving arrows of dark blue danmaku. Some navy energy runs along her form, but she doesn't seem to acknowledge it…
Crack! The tendril she attacked earlier rises way up into the air, smashing the big ice blade that got in its way…
...That thing's poised to fall around over here! Maria's not really watching it for some reason so I just kinda~...
"Fucking move!" Yell into her ear!
"Aaa~h!" Yelling, she fucking moves! I move, too!
As we run to the side-
THOOM
The tree trunk sized wire tendril comes down behind us, striking the ground powerfully. Whelp, if that hits us once, we're pretty much one hundred percent fucked.
...As it retracts, the second tendril moves, quickly sliding up between us and the wall we moved near. Cool.
Then, it moves to the left-
Wham! A~nd it slides into us holy fucking shit-
Thud. We roll to a stop as it pushes us out of its swing radius.
"Ahn…" Maria goes oof next to me. Yeah, oof. Not terrible, but that was unpleasant!
...With that, the tendril retracts. It's our turn now, yo!
Pullin' out Deep Blue- freakin' Genkan still has Hard Winter- I, hmm. Unless I can get Maria to make it shoot aimed streams or cast bubbles or something, this might not be so useful after all.
Doing a short leap, Maria thrusts her staff into the air! "Thunder!"
Zap-zap, zap zap zap!
It strikes both the tendrils. Nothing was accomplished!
Zap! "Ehehehe~!" Kappa girl was not hurt by it-
Fwam! -but briefly immobilized, allowing Genkan to aim Hard Winter into her face and unleash a concentrated splash of cyan danmaku.
"Nnh…" The amazing flying kappa girl is sent sprawling in the air from the blow!
Immediately, Genkan floats after her to follow up-
Fwii~r! One of the kappa's finger things comes off, homing onto the yuki-onna's form-
Baa~m! It explodes powerfully, enough to nearly throw me and Maria off balance, but the blast seems to be mostly knockback based. As such, Genkan is also sent soaring, but doesn't look very different!
"Aah…!" She flails wildly as she makes for the sturdy glass wall!
...Ha-chan's just kinda floating in the air. She got up there avoiding the tendrils that were beating on us, but then she just kinda hung there.
"All my life…" Kappa maniac speaks! But first, she takes a breath… "Progress is stifled so readily."
Oo~h crap, the rightmost tendril's rising up to slap down on us now…
"A-aah…" Maria runs to the left with me-
THOOM. Yeah, that happened again-
WHAM
Maria's sent hurtling into the wall behind us by a thrust from the leftmost tendril, before rolling to a stop, her staff sliding across the floor far away from her. Uhm, oh shit…!
As the tendrils retract, the kappa speaks. "The most infuriating thing… is that everyone is okay with it. Complacency has been instilled in us." Not really listening! Runnin' on over to Maria…!
Genkan's got a fan in one hand, and Hard Winter in the other, thrusting through the air towards the kappa…!
Krii~ng! A thinner tendril erupts from the floor beneath Genkan-
Bam! Oh, that hit her!?
Thud! That was not Genkan hitting the floor, that was Genkan hitting the ceiling. Woah, shit…!
She's still floatin', though. "Nn~gh…"
Reachin' Maria, I crouch down and roll her over, since she's kinda just zonked.
"Nn…" She whines a little, so she lives! Her arms're really red-... well actually everything's really red. I grab her arm-
"Ow ow ow…" Oh, fuck. Potion time then, I guess…! Reachin into my bag, I take out a health potion. Little stunned that I gotta use this so readily, but freakin'... that's why I packed seven.
...Floating into the midst of the room, the kappa waves her arms. "No one seems to care how this world limits our pursuits. We do the same projects over, and over, and over again…"
Cla-cla-clack-clack! Four slots open at the corners of the room, and magnets come out! They aim at the general center of the room-
Fwaa~sh! Blue staticy stuff is everywhere, and I feel slightly tingly, but nothing much else happens.
Thud. Genkan drops out of the air, landing on her stomach. "Gahk…" From quite high up, too. What the fuck…?
Thud. Ha-chan collapses, unconscious.
I- woaa~h. Lightheaded, not goo~d.
As I feed Maria her potion, I feel the lightheadedness go away. Oh- now it's a headache. Yeah, that's fine…
"A-ah…" Taking the bottle out of Maria's mouth, I let her slowly sit up… "Ma- mana…" Wat.
Vhii~r. The magnets recede into the floor after they did their things to us…
...Am I the only person up right now? Oh, good.
Standing up, I hold up Deep Blue offensively as Maria slowly rises…!
...One of the tendrils is movin' to point at me.
...Shovin' Deep Blue down my kimono for now, I pull out the Bawmber, and-
Bam! Hit the floor! Oo~w!
Woosh! Felt the fucking wind off that tendril-
Thud. Fuck, hit the glass wall…
Thud. Hi floor. This town's only big enough for one of us…! Deep Blue being in my clothes didn't make this any less painful, either!
"Genkan!" Maria yells out the yuki-onna's name, before throwin' up somethin' into the air-
Fwi-fwi-fwi~sh! Three golden drops splash onto Genkan's form. Seconds later, she freakin' springs off the floor abruptly…
Hoh. I think Maria just popped an Elixir-
THOOM
That struck somewhere to my right! Since I'm hugging the left wall… that's a lot of places, son.
...I look after it recedes. Maria is thankfully not a pancake, which is good.
Krii~ng! Krii~ng! Krii~ng! Genkan unleashes triple glacier blades onto the enemies!
SHINK
The leftmost wire tendril is severed from its base, sparks dancing out once it is detached.
The second ice blade was somewhere under the floating kappa, so it was essentially useless. Another ice blade had landed a rather unimpressive hit on the right tendril...
...As they all retracted, the kappa spins about-
Fwa-fwa-fwam! The room's flooded with navy blue orbs that move in an atom-like fashion. Holy fucking…
"Whenever we make true, new accomplishments, there is intervention." The kappa talks as she spins, projecting her voice to a lotta different angles! "Powers have involved themselves in our activities for some time, and to advance, we must rout them out."
As nice as your sob story is, we're dyin' ova' here! These danmaku orbs somehow make my headache worse when they hit me…!
"I'm..." Maria stumbles on her legs. "Out- out of mana…" Eyes low, she starts to take out a mana potion. How'd she get out of mana…? I-...
Those magnets. Those fucking magnets drained us of our mana!
...The last remaining tendril is rising into the a~ir!
Maria's busy guzzling her potion. Oh, fuck…
Grabbing her by like a leg, I hit the floor with my bomb hanger-
Boom! The blast does not give us the air I wanted! We also went in like the worst direction- freakin'-
Thu-thud. Floor-
THOOM. Okay, I didn't die. This is good-
"Aa- aaa~h!" Maria doesn't sound dead! Good enough, I think…
...The tendril retracts, dragging itself across the plated floor-
"Aah- A- Aaa~h!" Uu~h, Maria?
Fwash- fwam! Stuff happens behind me, but I'm runnin' up to see how Maria's doin'-
Oh, wow. Potion time, I think! That arm… has seen better days! Like…
"Aa- aah…" Maria whines on the floor. Sounds like she's crying. "Mo- Mom…" Woah. You're not beat up that bad I don't think, c'mon now…
Poppin' the cork offa' another potion, I kneel down and plop it into Maria's mouth. "Here, yo. Big moomi's here to take care of ya."
"Nn- nnh…" She sobs as she downs the potion, eyes uneven. "Nn- Nhn!"
Kri- crack! As her arm starts snapping back into place, the fun stuff happens. I don't think I'm gonna watch…
Fwa~sh! Oh, looks like the asshole kappa got frozen again. Let's see how long that lasts-
Cra~ck! She's free pretty much the moment the ice hits the floor-
Krii~ng! Genkan combo'd her with another heavy thrust from an ice spike!
"Guah…!" That kappa's made of freakin' silly putty or some shit to be okay with getting launched by that! Well, by 'okay' I mean 'didn't get freakin' impaled'.
Krik- krik… Maria's arm bones finish clicking into place.
I look over at her. "Yo, you good?"
...She's still sitting there, shaking, staring into space with a drained look. Damn.
"Those powers…" The kappa speaks as she stabilizes in the upper airspace of the room. "They're coming for me. To move forward, we must first take nature and spectate its absence. I cannot die." Oo~kay!
"Polarity Sign," O~h no no no. Can't we just do non-spells only…!? "Gauss' Flux Theorem!"
As she begins to glow, that freakin' tendril rises into the air again…
"We gotta move." C'mon, Maria-
Woah! Jumpy like a cat! She got right the hell on outta dodge! I lag behind her-
THOOM. -and the thing comes down well behind me. Jesus…
Fwoom! The kappa darts across the upper airspace of the room, a blue orb surrounding her-
Kri-kri-kri-kri-kri~ng! Tiny spikes of wires and metal roar up from the ground beneath her, apparently magnetized out of the floor.
"Ah…!" Maria's separated from me by the spikes!
...Some magnet elemental danmaku comes down from above too, but- ow fuck- who gives a -ow- shit…!
Fwam, fwam, fwam! Swinging Hard Winter around, Genkan hurls freakin' icicle torpedos up into the air after the kappa. Shove a missile up her ass, yo…!
Fwoom! The kappa thrust herself through the air again-
Kri-kri-kri-kri-kri~ng! More tiny spikes of wire and metal thrust up, lurching twelve feet in the air from floor's covered slots-
"Hnn~..." Genkan gets scraped by a few, causing her to briefly lose focus and just kinda drift away from them. Then, she sights the big asshole tendril that's been giving me and Maria a tough time-
Krii~ng! She pierces the midst of it with a wave of her hands!
...The kappa brings her arms together, aiming down at Genkan-
Vr-Fwam!
Woah! Thin yellow beam plowed right into her-
Bam! Genkan is thrown violently against the floor, bouncing off of it. Holy crap!
"Gen- Genkan!" Maria instantly goes for one of her own potions right as I do, but I let her do the healing 'cause she called dibs…
While she does the tossy-tossy quick cast, I look up, watching the kappa as it stays close to the roof. Freakin'... magnet elemental thing!
Crack! The big tubby wire tentacle breaks free of the ice blade piercing it, rising into the air…
Genkan starts to rise as the potion's effects settle into her, even if her form's still charged with danmaku energy.
"Look out!" Maria calls from the sidelines!
Genkan looks up at the tendril as it roars down towards her-
KASHINK
...She shielded herself with a ground-based glacier blade, which cleaved the big wire mess in two as it came down over her.
"That power…" The kappa wants to be a yuki-onna now! "Such incredible power." ...Honestly, if you can't handle one yuki-onna and some chucklefuck healers, I don't think you coulda taken the heroines.
...Looking over at me, Maria huffs. "I- I need a- a weapon…"
Oh? Sure…
Reaching into my bag, I take out Flame Salvo and lend it to her.
Instantly, she points it up at the sky. "Fire!"
Fwoom! The kappa slides through the air again, the tiles beneath her torn up by her magnetic powers-
Fwam! Maria's dinky fireball homed in on her and booped her.
"Ah…!" It caused her to flinch?
Bam! This vulnerability allowed one of Genkan's frosty rockets to collide with her side. "Agu~h…!"
"Fi- fire!" Yeah, shell 'er, girl! Repay that arm debt!
Genkan floats up towards the kappa as she prepares to thrust away again-
Fwam! Maria's fireball makes the kappa flinch again! "Nnh!"
Once up there, Genkan thrusts herself into the magnet orb and grapples her. "You…!"
Fwa~sh! Genkan freezes both herself and the kappa solid.
...The two hurtle down. As Genkan falls, though, her movements betray that she's not frozen-frozen. Why wouldn't a yuki-onna have freezing resist?
Cra~ck! As the ice hits the ground, the kappa breaks free. "We'll see if you are above-"
"Deep freeze!" Leaping, Maria swings the hanger-
Fwi- Fwi~sh! She launches that shotgun spread of snowflakes at the kappa, causing her to shield herself with her arms. "Hua~h…"
Cra~ck. Genkan's psuedo-frozen icy form collides with the floor, all the ice spreading out and sliding away as her body lands hard against the metal. "Ouh!"
Reeling back the Bawmber, I chuck it at the kappa due to the proximity!
The kappa begins to look over us with her masked face, before trying her line again. "We shall see if you are-"
Boom! "Gr~h…!" She's sent sliding back in the air from the blast!
"Fire!" Maria's gettin' in them hits, though!
Clack, clack… Limply floating into the air, Genkan lets Hard Winter drop from her arms as she accelerates towards the kappa.
Fwam! The fireball's hit makes the kappa stagger in the air again as she tries to focus on the yuki-onna. "Ghn…"
...Genkan drops from the air as she nears, forced to resort to running. Oh, right, she was in that magnet orb! She's outta mana!
"Yo!" Reaching into my bag, I fumble for a mana potion, pop the cork, and freakin' lob it up…
The quick cast activates, the contents appearing over her and splashing into her-
Krii~ng!
Fu~ck! That upward tendril of pain… launched me!
"Brad!" Maria drops Flame Salvo and begins running after me-
Oo~h, freakin'... air time.
Krii~ng! Stuff is smashing somewhere else! Falling kinda makes it hard to describe things-
Thud. "Ahn!" ...Maria breaks my fall, and we end up in a pile. "Ou- ouch…"
Whelp, everything hurts. I'm just… gonna lie here. Try and chug a potion…
...There. Got it out-
Maria shifts from under me, trying to work a potion to my face. Did we have the same idea…? Shouldn't you be using that on yourself?
...After a moment, we've sorted ourselves out and healed up, and start to get back up.
Genkan steps over to us calmly, her kimono ripped all over and body bloody. In her right arm she holds up the kappa by the back of her hair, and in her left she holds the mask she used to wear.
The kappa… is now unconscious.
Holy shit. Did we, like… do it? Did we actually solve an incident? What do we do now?
"It…" Maria almost falls backwards, but corrects her posture. "We won?"
"Mmm." Genkan nods, face tired and tone less monotone than usual. "It's… done."
...She's missing a sandal. Freakin'...
…
Lookin' at the television screens, I- uh, huh. The heroines are in the factory, it looks like. Well, won't they be in for a surprise?
...If they attack us just 'cause we're here, we're nine degrees of fucked. Still, I wanna rub it in their face how we clobbered this noob. Even if she turns out to be a like stage five boss, I'd be happy with that.
...
Maria sits down. "Wo- wow…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Hmm. Heroines are not here yet; I'm trying to futz with the TVs in here, right now…
Genkan's seated nearby, the kappa held loosely but securely in her embrace. "We need a way to turn off this factory." ...The kappa's not frozen, either! I'm pretty sure she can choose whether or not she puts a girl's body on the wall with her hugs!
I'm kinda hoping there's a kill switch in these cable cords or somethin'... y'know, where the evil bad guys usually put their self-destruct buttons and landlines for the entire factory's electric supply: their direct-TV cords!
Maria dragged Ha-chan up to where we are earlier, and is near her. She tried feeding her a health potion, but it didn't help much. "Hana needs help, I think…"
"It's probably the doohickies they got in here." I restate the likely obvious! "...There's probably a power room somewhere. I'm hopin' the big hero girls thrash the place when they get here."
...I'd trash these TV cords, but the direct-to-heroine pay-per-view event's fun, yo. Speaking of them, they're currently just flying together through that one room with the barely lit pillars we were in earlier. Nothin's engaging them; the robots were probably supposed to be on the kappa's command. Whoops!
Genkan exhales, exhaustion setting in. "That fight... was more than I expected." Trailing off, she looks over at the cords, away from the party. "I thought I was going to die. When I fell, my mana drained, unable to move..."
"I- I didn't think I was going to use my arm again…" Maria articulated her previously crushed arm, before shivering. "God…"
I was relatively disconnected until we started getting our asses kicked. Those freakin' big cables, yo.
...Those robots're still burning to our left and right, although the flames are starting to dim, so the room's just got this soft amber fireplace aesthetic goin' on.
"We have managed… to not die!" I stre~tch! Ow. "Oof…"
"...If we ever do something like this again," Genkan looks us over, "you two will need more attack options. Or, if not that, defense options."
Maria fluffs up! "We- well, I… yeah."
I almost fluff up too, but yeah. When it comes to projectile-based combat, I am shi~t outta luck!
…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Bam!
The door in the back of the room slams open! We hear the rapid clackin' of shoes as the heroines start to invade! ...They're also greeted by the half-mangled, wire-filled battlefield.
"Woa~h…" Marisa's here! The instant she gets through the door, she hops onto her broom. "Check this place out! S'even worse than my room!"
...Youmu moves through the door, running up to a wall of metal spikes and wires that're partially obstructing their path-
Shi~ng! A line is drawn through the air as she swings her sword wide.
...Cla-clack, tink-clack. All of the obstacles come undone with a single stroke of her blade. The way they fall also shows pretty much the exact angle where she sliced 'em...
...In the next moment, Sakuya is next to us, giving us a blank stare.
I wave at her! "Hi, Sakuya."
"...Hi." She greets me as blankly as her stare!
In the next moment, the other girls catch up.
"What's all this?" Reimu floats down from above! "Who're you all supposed to be…?"
Before Genkan says anything- 'cause I see her goin' ta say somethin'- I step up! "Yo ho ho~! I-"
"And when'd you get wrapped up into this…?" Reimu gives me a tired stare. "Just get out of the way. I need to talk to these people."
Son. "Ah, nah, it's all good, yo." I give her a casual wave. "The B-team took care 'a the big noob. Right, yo?" I turn to the B-team!
...After a moment, they go from watching Sakuya to giving me an idle stare. Ho ho!
"We came to solve the incident…" Genkan speaks from the floor, her voice a little weaker than usual. "I don't know if we exactly accomplished that, but…" She begins to stand-
"That's nice." Reimu gives us an examining stare… "If you wanna help solve it, turn this place off."
"...We're kind of working on that." Genkan doesn't like her tone…! "Before you got here, we fought this woman." The yuki-onna held the kappa out by the back of its scalp. "Once she wakes up, she should have the information we need."
"Du~de!" Marisa stops flying around in the airspace above the room to land nearby! "Maria~! How'd you even get in here!?"
"...Um…" Maria clams up! "It- it took effort…"
...I give the skeptical-looking Reimu a dry stare. "We beat up a boss for you, yo. Who may or may have been the final boss..." Hmm.
"We don't need help." Reimu's not really buying it…!? "As if it's viable for any of you to be here right now."
Freakin'... I hold my arms out! "What're ya gonna do, then?"
Reimu draws some ofuda! "Beat you up until you tell me the truth. If you can fight now, then show me."
Genkan steps back…! "Ha- Hakurei…" She definitely don't sound in fightin' condition.
Maria just kinda clams up… "Wh- what…"
...Marisa knows what's up, though. "Hey, c'mon Reimu. I saw these guys runnin' around earlier, s'not that impossible. Not like this place is well-made or anything, ze."
I hold my arms out! "We… will not fight!"
…Reimu narrows her eyes. "How am I supposed to believe you, then?"
Y'freakin'...
Turning around, I march up to Genkan, set my bomb hanger aside-
Boom! -a little too impatiently, apparently! Ouch…!
...Ta set things straight, I limp up to Genkan while my leg slowly stops hurting, and freakin' yank that kappa from her arms-
Thud. I fall on my ass because she's heavy and I didn't do arm day! I didn't do any day, in fact! Aaa~h!
"Freakin'...!" I wheeze at Reimu from the floor! "We did the fight and things! She- she wasn't all that burly, either…"
...Reimu just gives us a jaded expression. "That was pathetic enough to convince me. Brad, how did you get here?"
You never wanna ask me a question… that begins with 'how', son.
"Very carefully…" I grin at her, still stuck under that freakin' kappa girl who's like half my height.
…
"Pfft- hehehe~!" Marisa liked that!
"Hnn~..." Reimu lets out a little groan of frustration. "Look, you… really can't be doing things like this. Wandering around and trying to fight people vastly more powerful for you, I mean."
What? Well, then, yo… "I- I know! I brought like…" There! Got that freakin' kappa off of me. "I brought my friends, yo!" I gesture to the friends!
"Which you threw into danger by bringing here." Reimu immediately counters. "Good job. I don't know how you actually beat anyone up, but I'm going to assume it involved taking them by surprise."
"Hakurei…" Genkan here wit' the defense! "You don't realize- how much you undermine us."
Stepping past me, she marches up to the yuki-onna. "Yeah? What can you do?"
"We fought… I fought with ice." Genkan states, bringing an arm up-
Krii~ng! To our left, a massive ice blade erects from the floor, far away from anyone-
Shi~ng! ...Youmu cut it, for some reason.
...Thoom. It fell apart, sliced perfectly on an angle.
"...They also had literally about fifteen potions between the two of them." Genkan dryly adds in our contribution. "If we don't die instantly, being killed takes actual effort. Especially considering the potency of the items..."
Marisa cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted at her friend. "Told yo~u!"
...Slouching, Reimu turned to the witch. "You're the only one who carries potions, Marisa. Sometimes we need them, yes, but-"
"I have an elixir or two, sometimes." Sakuya reveals casually. "Only when I go out."
"...I, um, carry Hi-Potions." Youmu provides her own inventory. "They're good for emergencies. I don't like to use them in fair fights, though."
...Blinking a few times, Reimu shakes her head. "Whatever. We're not here to talk about potions."
Brushing myself off- as if I wasn't scuffed the fuck up- I look over at her. "Whah? I thought this was potioncon, yo."
"Um…" Quietly, Maria tries to say something-
Reimu lifts the kappa up by the shoulders. "This is our suspect? She doesn't look very strong…"
"Kappa are known more for the strength of their instruments than their physical prowess." Suddenly, Sakuya is invested! "...If what we arrived to was any indication, there was a messy skirmish here."
"There was some blood on the floor, on the way in." Youmu also contributes, slowly raising in volume until she's speaking properly. "...You might've missed that when you were looking at the screens with us on it. It's really dark, too."
...At that, Reimu huffs. "It's still pretty stupid that you guys just… threw yourselves in here. Solving incidents is my job. You don't have to risk yourselves."
...Givin' an exaggerated shrug, I ea~h… "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…! That, and getting constantly harassed by robots, y'know… s'kinda hard to ignore."
...Reimu doesn't look entirely happy with that counter-argument, but doesn't say anything about it.
…
"So," Marisa looks at the kappa, too. "We gonna hafta wait for that kappa until we can shut this place down?"
"Pretty much." Noddin' at this, I follow up… "Don'cha dare freakin' blow this place up, either! There's a buncha chemical shit, and I don't think the world's ready for stuff with radioactive half-lives yet…!"
Grinning at that, Marisa raises her arms behind her head as she reclines on her broom. "Aww, da~mn…"
...Oo~h, that mana deprivation's hittin' me. Adrenaline helps stave it off, but ahaha~...
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 70
PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Hard Winter - A earth/ice-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice! Allows the user to cast Ice Shard. Extends combo length by one artificially. Allows the user to jump out out of combos smoothly, and leave frost in their trail.
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…
==o==
WEAPONS:
Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.
Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.
Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!
Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!
Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.
Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…
==o==
ARMOR:
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!
Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!
Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred percent ice resistance, and as such renders me immune to all magical ice damage. Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt me with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides me a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...
Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! One hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent freezing resistant. Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it. Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.
Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' helmet. Fifty percent blinding resistant! When worn with the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit, it also confers immunity to burning and poison, along with another one hundred percent electricity resistance. Yo…!
Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes! Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.
MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range!
Sun Badge - Fifteen percent sun resistance when equipped. Fifty percent resistance to blinding and electrical stunning. Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare when worn.
==o==
CONSUMABLES/OTHER:
Forty-one thousand, two hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!
Five Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!
PARTY:
London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!
PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.
==o==
Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - A cuddleable fairy who's stalked me for awhile. She's lovable, dude. Healed by electrical damage! Casts tiny bolts of electricity as her attack these days…
PRIMARY WEAPON: Zap!
INVENTORY:
Probably rocks - Yeah.
Winter Mittens - Aww. Keeps hands from freezing.
Winter Coat - Where does she store this when it's not on…?
[unknown space remaining]
==o==
Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Probably heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning.
SKILLS:
Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.
Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.
Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.
Ice Spin - Spins and lashes out with chilling frost. Probably just an extension of her normal frost powers and not an actual skill…
Other Skills - Probably has more spells, but freakin'... I dunno her like a textbook!
INVENTORY:
Red Kimono - It's got floral decorations…!
Money - Apparently.
I dunno - What would I~ have if I was a sexy ice woman?
[unknown spaces remaining]
==o==
Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Used to run the most impoverished bar ever, but that fell under or something. Really low self-esteem! No known resistances or weaknesses. Can cast basic elemental spells!
INVENTORY:
Wood Staff - Good for bonking things!
Raggedy Clothing - Low quality, old clothes from the village. Keeps her covered.
[Travel Bag] - Inventory that exists! Does not take up inventory because it is inventory. Eight slots.
Two Mana Potions - Guess wha~t? It heals, except mana!
[six spaces remaining]
==o==
ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:
wahoHO
this chapter was a bit slowly written but honh
for some reason i feel like the factory-exploring was droll even if observably it seems like it's just fine; maybe i'm just falling into a beat-myself-the-fuck-up rut again (that and whenever i take awhile to write something i check things over and over again and over-immerse myself in the repetition of details which makes things feel real soulless no matter what really)
THAT ASIDE i think this turned out alright - w -
i wanted this arc to kinda capture some of the insanity of the earlier arcs- back when this thing had arcs- and some of the newer insanity while having like, a sorta direction
things about the whole arc i'm uncertain about:
o is maria interesting, is she bearably uninteresting (half the point), is she a buzzkill
o felt like the koakuma fight was a mess for some reason in a sorta bad way but it didn't last long so i didn't care too much
o this whole factory segment just felt weirdly off except for some key parts and i'm not sure why; maybe it's just because i've not really handled the clunkiness of party members in FG so much so the weird combination made things curious
i'd like to hear some second opinions because sitting in my minimal window access bedroom and typing this with a buncha other things going on doesn't really help sate my nerves . w '
but daz enough of my slow mental unraveling
magnet elemental stuff is fun - w - i basically ripped that one STRAIGHT OUTTA WARFRAME and it's basically like… it drains mana but doesn't silence, and doesn't deal a lasting status effect
okay i lied it does have a lasting status effect: it reduces energy shield capacity by 75%; aka max energy shields are reduced
...not all that relevant to people without energy shields! mana depletion is still very relevant and potent though, although how much probably depends on potency of cast and enemy's mana pool and all that fun stuff; basically, attacks that do mana damage instead of / with normal stamina-based damage
hoh
i wanted to incorporate some elements of getting-beat-the-fuck-up in the boss fight - w - mostly because that's fun and creates tension; s'a lot better than readily handling everything and it's about time those potions were put to work
also tried to follow a basic system of taking turns but i debalanced it a little at times 'cause six entities at once is a lot and some actions were basically futzing about
touhou 16 has not yet happened in this universe! we're gonna see some of the touhous in the coming chapters though - w - we've already seen one though…
still on the boss fight: i wanted it to be a bit more hectic than it was but i think it's plenty hectic as is; plus any more entities than like six would probably get pretty silly, that fight ate nearly ten pages as is minus the pre- and post-fight dialogue
i say six entities even though ha-chan'd make it seven; she didn't really get to do a whole lot
the factory as a whole was a lot of avoiding mook-based confrontations and tryin' ta wiggle our way around more… sensibly albeit not methodically - w -
that and if we approached the radioactive slime girls we would've died because that shit works quick and i have no idea what the panacea / health potion effects would be on molecular DNA destruction / radiation poisoning
so anyway yeah - w -
i feel like this kappa villain i've lined up for this incident was koo enough, and i feel as though she were foreshadowed enough to not be a total rando
her backstory's also relevant to gensokyo generally so it's not like she's a totally unimpactful throwaway villain either - w -
i think that's everything
as always, see you all next time!
