I loved you as
Icarus loved
the sun.
too close.
too much.


Why was he here?

The streets were dark on either side of him, seemingly stretching off into an unsure oblivion, swallowing up most of the light from the moon and the stars that were pleasantly hanging above him. He didn't appreciate the silence, never did, silence always made him suspicious of every nook and cranny that was around him. But...this place was different, he knew that, and the fact was all that kept him from running back into the shadows to hide away as he usually did.

Levi was breathing heavily, staring up at the lit window that lorded over him - and the shadow within. It stared down at him in his bare glory; at the steam that flowed from his coat as the Titan blood evaporated, at the hollowness of his eyes, his shaky hands. Levi did not move, he stared back, trying to convey that message, the one that he could never say - could never say, could never admit to.

The shadow stepped away, and the breath that left Levi's lungs was heavy and long, his body trembling as the last of his adrenaline seemed to go with the air he exhaled. He collapsed on his knees in the light of the window, blades clattering to the cobblestone loudly; surely someone else heard, it was so quiet within Wall Sina tonight, who could miss such racket? Levi didn't really care if anyone else noticed, though, he just didn't give a damn anymore it seemed.

He was rotten and bitter to his very core, wasn't he? Levi thought of Erwin, of the man's viewpoint on himself, and wondered if he himself really wasn't much different. Levi was good at excusing it all away when he really believed, but...

'You deserve better than me.'

Maybe he didn't deserve those kinds of things, the things worth believing, the things that inspire wretched souls like theirs.

'You deserve everything.'

He doesn't see the door open, he just sees the new beam of light, the shadow edging closer and closer until soft, rose colored fabric was within his line of sight. The bare toes that brushed against the stone made Levi clench his fists on his knees, shoulders shaking in what most would mistake as sadness, remorse - some human emotion.

'Find yourself someone else. Someone strong, and tall...someone good.'

When he finally looked up at the little shadow standing over him, Levi felt that knot form in the bottom of his stomach, the one that told him to leave and never look back. He was always so assured that it would prove to be the right decision in the end, if he could ever follow through with such a thing. It seemed damn near impossible when she was there, when she was extending her soft hands and offering him that smile that said...

"Welcome home."

Who was he to take her kindness like this? How could he call himself a man when he took that hand of hers and let it take him inside, huh? What kind of fucking monster does that make him? Erwin could never understand why Levi acted like he was worse a person than him - because Levi knew he was. He took this girl and her kindness, her warm feelings and her easy eyes - he took it all, gobbled it up like the glutton for punishment that he was.

But, Levi would never stop. How could he, when she treated him like this? When she watched for him, worried for him, smiled at him with this look of relief he had never seen on anyone else's face before. It wasn't a grin from his scouts, inspired by his close call with death that inspires them to lay down their lives at his feet. It is always soft, always warm, always tender and...and...