(in which EXPLOSIVE VIOLENCE | GENSOKYO DAY TIME)

...Me 'n' Maria, after the day was all said 'n' done, found a room in the mansion wit' two beds, kicked the denizens out and slept. I'm sawing logs right now, dude…

Well, was. Is it morning yet…? These fairy rooms slash guest rooms don't have windows...

Cre- creak. I just heard Ha-chan hop into the bed with me, yo. Or, is it morning…? It feels like morning to me, actually. Mostly 'cause I'm rested-

Bam- thud, thud! Our door's being assaulted!

Well, it's morning for me now. Freakin'...

Still, even if they get through, I set up London to take care of things. Ha-chan's exempt 'cause she's cuddly-

Bam- Patatatatat! Doll sentry London in attack mode!

Ah- wah, woah. Ha-chan threw an arm around me aggressively, having slipped beneath the covers-

Rolling me around, she clings to me. "Brad-ku~n. C'mere…" Freakin'- is now really the time for-

Some maid runs into the room, her heels clacking! Bad move, noo~b. Bad-

Cla~ng! London's hit by something.

"Nn~h…" Maria starts to stir. "Wh- what's…"

Bam! Cla- clang! Is London having a hard time? What the frik-

"Ah- mmm…" Ha-chan pulls me into a kiss…!? Well, that's fun and all-

Fwam- Clank! Thu- thu- thud. London's dead…!?

Al~right, now I'm awake! Sitting up-

Ha-chan pulls me back down, reinforcing the kiss. "Mmrm…!" Angry moan! Also, when was she this strong…!? I push against her stomach with my arms, but somehow she's just stronger.

A~nd that's something against my lips- Maria wake up! Wake u~p yo...!

"Wh- what's going…!?" She's awake! Can't see what's going on 'cause asshole blanket but-

"Aa~h!" Maria, I swear, if you get knocked the fuck out in like ten seconds- "Bli- Blizzard!"

Fwash! Someone gets a face full of ice, I hope…!

"Ah- bitch…" Angry fairy… and also not dead fairy.

A~nd wham! I hit Ha-chan in the gut with my arm to try and get the message through-

Thrusting forward unnaturally- probably flight hacks- she rolls me onto my back. "I- I love you, Brad-kun…" Securing her position, she leers down at me. You know, I think something's wrong…!

Like this I can kinda lean out of the blanket and see what's up…

Maria's standing on her bed, waving a half-frozen pillow around. A tall red-haired fairy maid, a small grey-haired one, and short, black bobby-haired one are crawling onto the bed after her.

I reach my hand into my bag! Good thing I just freakin' flopped into this bed the other night-

Ha-chan grabs my arm once it's inside, and secures it with just one hold-

Zap- zap! What the fuck- ow, ow…! Electricity's running up my arm- holy shit…! You know, I was on the fence before, but I'm not about that electrocution life…!

"Mm- nh…" Lunging forward, she tries to kiss me and invade my mouth again-

Clonk. My head hits the backboard. Fu~ck…

Fwash! Fwam! Magic happens, but I'm not really paying attention where…!

"Thunder!" Maria that might actually be a bad idea-

Zap- zap- zap- zap! Electric bolts strike down, hitting fairies!

"Ebababa~!" Someone didn't take that well…!

"Nnh…" One fairy seemed just displaced by it.

One bolt strikes Ha-chan-

My limbs vibrate from the uneven jolts of electricity that roll into me nearly instantly.

Ahaha~ that hurts holy fuck! You know what, that's fucking it…

I open my mouth, allowing Ha-chan to thrust her tongue inside. "Mmh!" Greedily, she takes the opportunity-

-and I bite down!

"Nnn~!?" Wahaha-

ZAP

O- oh, shit, ow… at least Ha-chan got off-

"Fire!" Maria casts-

Fwam! "Ugh…" Some fairy grunts, I dunno who. Why're the fairies not dying

I try to move, but my limbs are locked up. Am- am I stunned…? Holy crap.

"That was mea~n!" Ha-chan presses up against me again, bringing her face close to mine. "I- I just wanna be close to you…"

As she presses herself against me-

zap zap.A faint aura of static starts to roll over us and the nearby scattered covers…

Closing her eyes, Ha-chan leans in for a kiss again…

I turn my head. "Fr- freakin', why…?"

"Mmh…" She kisses my cheek anyway, before bringing an arm up and grasping my head, forcing it to adjust to face her. "Thi- this is what lovers do. We're lovers, right, Brad-kun…?"

When'd you know those terms…!? What is anything anymore!?

Fwoa~sh! Who the hell's letting off hyper beams-

"Aaa~h!" Fight, Maria! Do the Mario! Man, we should've fucking stuck with Mario…

Cre- creak-

Bam. They broke the opposite bed. What the fuck.

Leaning down to my face, Ha-chan gets ready to kiss again, before just hanging there, relenting…

Bringing her other hand up-

Ow. She yanks my jaw open-

zap, zap. "Hehehe~!" She giggles, taking her hand off as more concentrated static runs across my jaw. A~nd I can't move it, good. Stun's the cheapest status ever.

"No, no, no!" Maria's upset…!

Zap! Pi~chun! Holy shit, she actually killed one…

Thu- thud. "So fucking cute!" Thudding noises…!

Leaning forward, Ha-chan connects with my face, her tongue exploring my mouth unimpeded.

...Well. This is a thing that's happening, now. She doesn't have morning breath, so she must've been up…

How do you describe this? This unfamiliar, slippery sensation in my mouth...

She actually smells pretty nice-

"Get off of me~!" Maria, I dunno about you but this situation's looking pretty hopeless…!

"How could I?" Sounds like that red fairy, 'cause the voice is deep. "Wh- why, you're so cute, I could just…"

Can I make noise, at least? "Nnh!" Aw, yeah! Probably should've been doing that to begin with. "Nn- nck…" Fuck, saliva… swallowing with a locked jaw is awkward as fuck!

"Nnn~..." Also, Ha-chan… she ain't helpin' any…!

I exhale. Well, as well as I can, anyway. Might as well wait, not that I'm doing anything else…!

Cre- creak. Someone's interacting with the right end of the bed-

"Br- Brad!" Maria calls out for me! "I'm- anh!" Yeah, I know…!

...The covers of my bed get stolen from the right, somewhere.

...Oh, that black-haired short maid's crawling up here, too. "Hehehe~! Lemme play, lemme-"

Ha-chan breaks the kiss. Aah- air!

As the shorter fairy nears-

Bam! Ha-chan palms her out of the way. "I'll kill you!" Holy shit…!

"He- hee~y!" Floating back up, the fairy roars back at her! "Don't be rude! You have to share!"

Getting off of me entirely, Ha-chan raises both arms-

Fwam- Fwam- Fwam! Three waves of scattered bolts instantly flash down from the ceiling lamp, each converging directly on the fairy's form-

"Aaa~h!" This spectacular thunder spell somehow didn't kill the fairy.

Thud. She was stunned, though. "Ee- nnh…"

Fragile Flower: good idea, or bad idea? I- oh, arm still can't move. Nevermind! I was gonna try to cleanse myself, but...

...So, I'll just stare at the scenery. Half-aroused, stunlocked, and left freakin' mangled. Y'know- this room has a nice atmosphere. Dim lighting-

"Hua~h!" Maria inhales, for some reason. "I'm- stop! Please…"

"Ehehehe~!" The tall red fairy giggled at her.

...Ha-chan stares into the air for a moment, before leaping off the bed-

Zap! -and pouncing on that black-haired fairy-

Pi~chun! She annihilated her, yo…!

...Oh- oh, hey! Arm slightly moves-

"Bliz- mrm!" Maria's spell got cut off by something.

"Shut up." The fairy's still aggressing her, it sounds-

Fwa~sh! Sounds like ice magic!

"Aagh!" Red fairies don't like ice, yo…! "Rrgh! If- if Mistress hadn't sealed my fire magic…" Remilia sealed your fire magic? Probably… for good reason, all things considered. Ahaha. Haha.

...Creak! Oh, shit, Maria, what's up…! "Aah." I explain everything to her while my mouth is still locked open. "Ah- ah."

"Brad…" With teary eyes, the mage clutches me uselessly. "Wh- what's wrong? Brad…!?" What's it look like…!?

"No!" That red fairy comes back with a vengeance!

"Aah!" Maria's pulled-

Thu- thud. I'm taken along with her! Woah, pins and needles all over my body… the- the feeling, not actual pins and needles.

"Hr~gh!" Frustrated, Ha-chan thrusts towards her-

"Ouch!" The fairy recoils as Ha-chan thrusts a hand into her gut. "Bi- bitch!"

Pap! She slaps Ha-chan, and grabs onto her hair with the other arm-

ZAP

"Ooh…" Electricity ran up Ha-chan's hair, and flowed into the fire fairy. "Fu- fuh…" Thud. This is why stunning is the cheapest status.

...Free from the fairy's vice-like grip, Maria looks at Ha-chan with a fearful expression. "Ha- Hana, are you- uhm- ah…"

...Ignoring her, Ha-chan leans down and lifts me by the sides of my torso. "Are you okay, Brad-kun?"

You pump me full of electricity then ask me that? "Aah." Jaw's still fuckin' locked, by the way. I-... can't even point at it. Stun sucks so hard…! Oh, you know what I can do? Look down at my nose and hope it transfers the intended meaning…!

...Ha-chan looks down at my mouth. Hehe~y…!

Ah- woah-

Cre- creak. She tossed me onto the bed-

Creak. Then, she pounced on me. "I love you, Brad-kun…" Not a~ string of words heard often…!

"Nnh…" A~nd she leans down into me, again. Hello, tongue. S'been awhile, huh? Fuck...

"Uh- uhm…" Maria looks very reluctant to do anything. Like- she seems torn between doing something and doing nothing, so she's just kinda fidgeting about. Oh, her hands are half blocks of ice again-

Ha-chan pushes my head further into the mattress. "Mm- mmh…"

Well. I guess this isn't terrible…

Like this, I'm left helpless as Ha-chan wraps her arms around me and tries different strategies to deepen the kiss…

...After awkwardly twirling her head and body about, she settles for just kissing normally again. "Mmn."

Can't recall a time I've seen a girl's face this close before. You know, I can't recall a lot of things at this very moment, actually…!

"Um…" Maria steps up cautiously… "Hana?"

Ha-chan sinks into me as her constant kiss continues. I'm getting some kinda buzz, here…

"Hana." Maria almost leans forward to nudge her, but seems to be considering her options ve~ry carefully…

I close my eyes, feeling Ha-chan's body pressed against mine and her arms around me. Wait- I can feel shit. Maybe I can move shit… if I want to, anymore-

"Hana, um…" Maria, what can you do? Ask her nicely to stop? Freakin'... "Kissing is- is romantic, right?"

...Ha-chan lifts her head from me. "Ye- yea~h…" Oo~h, air! Didn't realize, how badly I needed air…

"Um, rubbing cheeks is… romantic, too." Maria, what the fuck are you talking about.

Looking down at me, Ha-chan starts rubbing her left hand against my right cheek, smirking as she does so.

...Oh. Oh. I take back what I said, Maria i~s apparently a genius!

After an idle moment of staring at the fairy rubbing my cheek, Maria gives another suggestion. "Sitting's also, re- really romantic. That's what I heard."

...Ha-chan glances back at her, before starting to drift up from my form a little. Hey, with any luck she'll undo this stunning. I can kinda sorta move my limbs, but not meaningfully.

She kinda drifts up and forward, for some reason, bringing her legs up and over the bedtop. The frik're you tryin'a…

Stopping in the air over me, she begins to lower- oh no way-

"Um- not- hey…!" Maria darts forward a little-

Ha-chan sat down, her panties meeting my face. "Ah- aahn...!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Arms folded, I sat next to the electric fairy of the hour, my face soaked.

Ha-chan looks around, her head encased in a block of ice.

Maria's hands were now ten percent ice block-ier.

"...I'm- I'm sorry." Maria apologizes to me.

"It's- it's cool, yo…" I've seen some things, son.

"Nnn." Ha-chan tried to make a noise from within the block of ice, but it came out as a hum instead.

...Oranges. Oranges, and static. Everything smells like oranges and a brief, stuffy hint of I guess either static or… I don't even know.

Well, we've sorted out the situation, so now Ha-chan knows what kind of sitting is 'romantic'. Sitting together, that is. Not, uh…

...Also, I can pretty much move now. Except…

With my bag on my left side, I slowly, awkwardly slide out Hard Winter with one arm…

"Hey, um, Ha-chan." Freakin', now I'm using 'um' too. "Look at the bed header post thing, for a moment."

"Nnn?" She can't even hear me. How's she breathing?

...Once I get the hanger out, I start channeling mana into it…

"Um…" To help out, Maria starts speaking, too, even if Ha-chan's freakin' deaf. "How're you, Hana?"

Ha-chan looks at her! "Nnn!"

Mana channeled! Gaia Bloom, yo.

Fwoo- fwoo- fwoom. A series of earthy green magical circles generate around Ha-chan's form.

"Nn- nnh- nh!" Their serialized initializations cause her to spasm in place, before bolting up, her limbs crackling with electricity-

Thump- thump- thump. She stumbles forward, the tiredness stacked onto her from the earth magic.

Fwooo~. I cast the lesser variant of the spell to finish things…

The magical circle generates within the fairy's form as she throws her head around in confusion, before seeing my hanger-

Thud. The magical circle's realization makes her drop onto her knees. "Nnn~."

Thud. Then, onto her side, unconscious.

Maria looks over at me, and I look over at her.

...She brings a finger up, and scratches her cheek. "I didn't know it was possible to make you flustered."

Yeah, okay. Standing up, I take a deep breath- ba~d idea. Well, good, but bad idea. Whatever, freakin'...

I'm still kinda locked up, but I'll just let it fade. I'm gonna assume something's gotten into the fairies today, again. They're also a fuckton stronger than the last time they wigged out, too. And-...

Yesterday, that blonde god chick, talking all about how nature'd flourish or some shit. Fairies, nature, nature, fairies… yeah. Well.

Cautiously, I meandered over to the open front door. I see London's broken parts outta the corner of my eye as I move…

Takin' a peek outsi~de…

Oh shit. The halls are trashed. Crayon scribblings everywhere, torn up panels- there's a big fucking hole somewhere on the right…

"Hehehe~! Hehe!" Giggles echo throughout the manor's halls-

Bam! And stuff breaks, too, apparently.

Bet Sakuya's got her hands full. Freakin'...

...Maria steps up behind me, cautiously. "Is it safe…?"

"I~ don't know." I haven't a clue, yo.

...Carefully, cautiously, I navigate outside!

...Whelp, nothing's pinned me down and raped me yet. "Area clear, yo…!" Let us adventure! I think we should just hightail it out of here and make a freakin' frantic dash across the hellscape the overworld's probably become.

Do I have any upgrades I could slap on my shit? I could use some weapons, dude...

Ju~st remembered. Hina gave me that bad luck talisman thing that I can use on bad girls. Maybe I'll put it on Fairy Harp so it can be even more of a status mangling machine.

Moving through the just broken hallway, I jog ahead, Maria quickening her pace to keep up with me.

"Hahaha~!" Yeah, haha! Ha, ha! Somethin's real funny, yo! Fairy's got jokes!

I wonder how the halls'll behave with this shitstorm going on. Probably not well.

...As we move forward, we near that hole in the wall…

"Teeny-chan, stop jumping on the bed!"

"Die, die, die!"

"Hehehe~! Huhahaha~!"

"I- I love you so much-"

"Ahn! Ooh! Oh…!"

That's a very wide range of emotions being expressed from the adjacent, partially exposed rooms…! The hole itself is like, as big as one room. What bomb went off…!?

...Looking away from the wreckage, I stepped forward-

"Howdy!" Tha~t's a tall fairy. She's six feet tall, and she's got long grey hair. And, big boobs, but we don't talk about those…!

"...Howdy." I hold up my hanger pre-emptively…! "You gonna let us pass? We don't mean no harm..."

...Leaning over towards us, she smirks. "If ya do something for me, that'd sound about right. Don't you think?"

It'd sound about right if I freakin' ruffled your fluff, but there's a fifty fifty you can actually kick our asses. Oh- just remembered that Maria's hands are still frozen, even if she's got her staff on 'er. I'll toss her a potion soonish…

The tall maid stepped around us examiningly. "...That girl 'a yers is awful cute. Wouldn't mind takin' her back to my room with me."

Whelp!

Clank! Raising my hanger, I thrust it into the floor!

Fwoom- fwoom- fwoom. I cast Gaia Bloom on her, too, the series of earthy circles realizing around her! "...Aw, you really had to put up a- aah!" Thud. The repeated circles cause her to slide onto her knees.

"Sprint!" Let's go~!

"Aw hell!" The fairy yells behind us…!

Go, go, go~! Run and run and-

She floats into the air ahead of us. "Well, look what yer 'bout to make me to! I'll have to-"

"Fire!" Maria throws an arm out, a fireball homing in for the fairy-

Fwam! She's ignited. "Oh- fa- fire!? Oh- fuck fuck fu-"

Pi~chun!

...I stumble to a stop as Sakuya appears in the hall, a six-pointed star of knives replacing the burning fairy.

In the next moment, she's before Maria. Crouching down, she grabs the mage by the collar. "No. Fire."

A~nd then she's gone.

"Aah- whah…?" Blinking, feeling at her collar, Maria looks around… "I- I'm sorry…?"

"I think Sakuya'll rip ya a new one if you cast more fire…!" I advise her! Oh, and by the way…

Taking out a health potion, I toss it into the air for a quick cast-

Di- di~ng! The liquid splashes onto Maria, healing her. "...Oh. Why?"

Cli- click, crack. The ice on her hands falls off, and the serrations and burns underneath undo themselves. "Aah…" She hisses as the pain runs its course.

"'Cause." I gesture to her hands. "Chances are, we ain't gettin' outta here without gettin' beat the fuck up…!"

"...Thanks." Maria nodded at me.

Alri~ght. Now…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Dashing down the hallway, I round into a nearby clearing of some freakin' sort and go for the nearest door. Is Maria still here?

I glance back- okay, yeah, good…

Goin' up to the door, I undo the handle, swing it open, and duck inside! Maria follows me in immediately after.

From in here, we see a group of six technicolored fairies whirl into the clearing where we were.

...Click. I slowly shut the door. We'll check back outside and keep moving in a moment…

Maria sighs. "Hah…"

"Oo~h!" A~nd immediately we hear a series of moans from somewhere inside! Good. "Hehehehe~!"

...At the moment, we're around the tiny ass flank of a cabinet, just inside the room.

...I lean around the door. There seem to be seven fairies in this room.

"Ackh- ghmpck…" A~nd that's Brittany! Three of them are those chucklefucks from this dimension, and the other three seem to be the chucklefucks from the mirror world.

In the most minimal wording: Brittany's spread out, and the fairies are all in a circle around him. No one's clothed.

I duck back behind the edge of the cabinet.

...Maria looks up at me, whispering. "What'd you-"

I cover her mouth. Nope! Noo~. We're not getting seen. Nuh uh. Not a concept that exists today!

"Lick." One of the two Komis gave instructions.

"Me too." There's the other one!

"And do me~!" Koi number one or two!

"Me, me~!" Koi number two or one!

Are those fairies outside gonna fuck off anytime soon!? Hnn~gh…

"Aa~h…" I hear a moan from one of the Komis. "Good, slave…"

I'd tap my foot impatiently, but I'm in ninja mode, son.

"...C'mo~n, Namori~." Koi calls out to the shyer fairies. "Get all over her!"

"Ok- okay…" Actual Namori agreed complacently-

"No wa~y. I'm waiting my turn, too." Assertive Namori is… patient? "I don't know what's in the air, but I feel good."

Alright, I think that's enough…

Slo~wly, I swing open the door-

Creak.

Okay.

Crrea~ Bam! Slam it open!

"Operation run and gun! Go go go~!" Ru~n awa~y!

"Aah- ah…!" After a short delay, Maria sprints out with me, holding her staff above her head like a freakin' javelin as we book it the hell outta that clearing.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I think… we're at the front lobby! I think.

I say this because the entire front of the front lobby is caved in. Nothing but rubble! The stairs, though, they're… well, they're a ramp now, but otherwise fine.

...I run over towards the ramp-

Fwam! A fairy that's been hovering above us some of the way drops another freakin' pseudo- water balloon from above. "Hehe- aah… it missed…"

"Thunder!" Maria casts thunder on it for the uhmpteenth time-

Zap- zap- zap- zap!

Pi~chun! There we go. Probably only took half of Maria's mana pool to fuck up that one fairy.

...With that done, I look over at the ruined front door.

For whatever reason, there's just a really tall fairy there. I know I've called fairies 'really tall' or 'tall' before, but… this looks like the logical extreme!

Body type? Normal! Hair? Ah, messy black hair, nothing special. Arms? Nothin' new to see there…

Her legs are about as tall as me, though. She's like ten feet tall. Instead of just a skirt, she's also got on a pair of pants. Her knees are up to my chest.

She's just kinda got her hands in her pockets, too…

...Stepping up to her. I greet her. "Hello, great tall fairy."

...She glances down at me. "Oh, he~y."

Well, that's a welcome change of pace, at least. Nothing else to say…? Gonna try to rape me, or steal something, or… leer at Maria~...?

She stares up into the void, nodding. "I feel really good about today."

Yeah, me too.

Boo~m! Okay-

Bam! Dropping in from the ceiling, and crawling out from a freakin' pit she made in the floor, Ganpeki points at the hole she came from! "Get down here, bitch!"

Seven floats down from above, a ring of cards revolving between two arms. "Fufufu~!"

Alright, time to mine through the wall. We're gettin' outta dodge, one way or another!

Marching up to the rubble, I step up to a part that vaguely looks like undamaged wall, and start-

Crack! -hackin' away with Hard Winter!

Maria hugs a wall nearby, smart enough not to get behind me while I fuck up this other wall.

Boo~m! Destroying the lobby floor as she flung back up, Ganpeki roared after the lucky fairy-

Seven cast her cards out, which then began revolving around the burly fairy. "Pick aga~in, Ganny-chan!"

"Fuck yo~u!" Ganpeki roared, unleashing a mighty, slow, roundhouse kick in the air, failing to hit anything.

...As she came back down-

Boo~m! Her impact made an earthy shockwave, which echoed out from her form across the lobby ground…

Crack! Nearly through the wa~ll. Just a little more-

Crack- crack. There, now to just, widen it a bit…

"Unlucky~!" Seven called out! "Hahaha~!"

Ganpeki floated up, enveloped in purple energy. "Hruaa~h!" She began flailing and throwing a tantrum…!

FWICHOOM

Poker chips and dice rained down from the fairy's form as she was flung into a wall at bullet speed-

BAM

...Genkan easily parted from a surprisingly sturdy segment of wall, falling back down.

"C'mon…" I call for Maria friend as I exit the front door-

"Don't mind if I do." Wat. That tall fairy crouched down and freakin'... crawled out ahead of Maria. Okay…!

...Maria crawls out last.

Oh, by the way, it's a blizzard out here.

...Maria scrambles out of the snow and onto her feet the moment she crawls through the wall fully. "Wh- snow…? Oh, no…"

The tall fairy looms over us, but not in an intentionally mean way. "I'm going to get going, now."

What, sure. Who are you…!?

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

With Maria on my back- 'cause Hard Winter buff and she's not too too heavy- I marched through the blizzard. Ankle high snow has nothin' on this ice elemental!

There's been the occasional ice fairy, but they've all been rather kempt and cuddly, actually.

"Hehehe…" Like her! Unlike Cirno, these ice fairies are aloof and look kinda like assholes. Cool looking, but probably assholes, if I had to guess. They got these ice clips in their hair, and short hair cuts and kimonos…

...After the ice fairy floats back into the wintery mist, the snow gets heavier again. Yeah… well, at least they don't run up and fuck you up like mansion fairies. Freakin'...

Maria was shivering. "Aa- aah…"

I wonder if I can make a campfire, or something. We might have to… but with this snow, would it really be-

The second I step out onto the lakeside, the snow ends. Knee deep to~ none. Zip, s'grass now. Well, some mud and wet grogginess 'cause of the sudden biome shift, but...

The Misty Lake is bright, sunny, and… the warmth hits me like a brick wall. Oo~kay, so…

...I don't know what to say! It's summer now, at least over here! What the fuck!

...Maria quickly ceases shivering. "What happened?"

Goo~d question. Well, I'm still cold probably, so it'll be a little while before I start freakin' melting alive.

Hopping off of my back of her own volition, Maria begins dusting herself off. "I'm pretty sure there's an incident going on… and I'm pretty sure we saw the culprit, too."

Yeah. Well- it was a god. What can ya do, yo…

...I see a few fairies in the distance across the lake, at the moment.

Marchin' along the lakeside, I start joggin'!

...A few yards or so away, a fairy comes out of the brush! She's got a fun sunflower. She's just kinda running at us…

"Um…" Maria holds up her staff, in preparation for the worst!

Once she gets a few feet away, the fairy aims her sunflower at us-

Fwoa~sh! Instantly a beam launches Maria! "Aaa~h!" Holy shit!

After watching her fly towards the lake water, I turn back to the fairy-

Fwoa~sh! Oo~h, laser spam, huh!? Good, dude! That's good!

Ducking out of the way of one nearly instantaneous beam, like a lucky bastard-

Fwoa~sh! I~t didn't even matter. Ki~ss the sky~!

Splash! The beams surprisingly don't hurt too much on impact, but landing is hard. Well, I landed in the shallows, but fuck…!

Fwoa~sh! Pft- are- is she just going to keep shelling us…!?

"Fire!" Standing up, waist deep in water, Maria sends out a fireball!

Fwam! It ignites the sunflower fairy! "Eee~!" She yells, before-

Splash! -diving into the water before us.

I jerk Hard Winter into the water. "Ice shard thing!"

The magic is cast, a crystal of ice generating in her midst and freezing the air around it partially-

Fwa~sh! She's partially frozen, and-

Sploosh. -left to fall over into the water. Freakin'... probably gonna drown, too. Can't find it in myself to care at the moment, for some strange reason!

"Aah…" Maria sighs, moving to climb out of the water. "C- c'mon…"

Once out of the water, we further progress down the lakeside! This time, uh, with a slightly lower profile. Freakin'...

"We should've made cardboard fairy wings." I lament… "That probably would've helped. Kinda."

Maria snorts. "...They- they're not really kind to one another. I don't know about that…"

Fwo- fwoa~sh! Beams in the distance! Maybe we should wait…

At the moment, we're like, a quarter around the right of the lake. The kappa along this way from the other day are all gone, both from probably looting the shit out of the robots, and the fairies going freakin' nightmare mode on everything.

"Aah…!" A womanly voice comes from the bushes ahead.

Fwoa~sh! Beam goes off inside somewhere-

Boom! ...What the hell was that supposed to be?

"Ngh…" Oh. Oh, hey!

Genkan stumbles back out of the bushes, clad in very flakey, quickly melting makeshift ice armor, holding what looks like a sharpened icicle with two arms.

Fwoa~sh! A sunflower fairy's beam comes out of the brush, nailing the yuki-onna. "Gah…" Genkan goes sliding back from it, her armor chipping away further.

"It's summer, no~w!" That sunflower fairy floated on out! "Go awa~y!"

"Hnn~..." Holding out an arm, Genkan lethargically casts a spell-

Fwish. A slow-moving, but homing icicle moves towards the fairy-

Fwam! The small girl unleashes a point-blank blast of energy into it, blowing it apart. "I ha~te ice! It makes me cold!" Aw, good…!

"Yo!" I call out!

...The fairy turns to me, before quietly recoiling and holding her cheeks, for some reason. Aw.

Maria holds up her staff…!

...The fairy quickly glowers at me. "You just killed me! You- you put me in the water and I died!"

We- we killed you ten seconds ago. Are respawns instant now, too…!?

"Per- perhaps you deserved it…" Genkan just seems worn out. Considering how hot this biome around the lake is, and how quickly her stuff's melting- she doesn't have an icicle anymore- she's probably not having fun…!

Looking over at her, the fairy glares…!

A purple and pink fairy floats out of the trees, her hands behind her back. "Hehehe~... Daisy-cha~n…" Her hair's all done up in a cone, for some reason…!

Fwoa~m! Sunflower fairy shoots a sunflower sunbeam!

"Nn~gh…" Genkan's sent stumbling back towards the water by it-

Choo- choo- choom! The pink, flowery fairy shoots a freakin' barrage of glowing, brown canisters from her hair cone.

Fwoa~m! Oh boy-

Fwoa~m! Two sunflower fairies now-

Fwoa~m! Jesus Christ-

Fwoa~m! Hit me from behind-

Boom- boom- boom! Those canisters make pillars of flame as they randomly rain down! Holy fucking shit…!

We're pretty much all in the water now- fucking…

Fwish! Genkan erects a barrier of ice from the water, which promptly sinks down and into the water.

Fwoosh! Water pillars!?

Fwoa~m! Choo- choo- choom! Fwoa~m! Fwoosh! Magic everywhere!

Aaaa~h, aaa~h!

And then-

Pi- pi- pi- pi~chun!

"Aaa~h!" Fairy screams! I don't know from who or where!

Pi- pi~chun!

...The heat seems to be off of us, now. Which is good, because I'm now entirely soaked, and half freakin' drowned from being juggled back into the lake.

...Looking up, I see that the fairies are getting their asses kicked-

"Hahaha~!" -by Cirno. A tan Cirno, might I add! She's been going to the beach, yo! "Eye'm the stronge~st fairy~!"

"No- no you're not!" The sunflower fairy aimed up at her-

Fwoa~m! Cirno grazed the instant laser, darting up to the fairy with obscene speed-

Fwoa- Fwoa~m! She grazes two more from odd angles, twirling in the air-

Bloo- bloo- bloop! A barrage of bubbles comes from an awkwardly oversized water fairy-

Once all the fairies crowd around her, Cirno stops shooting a machine gun spread of icicles and stretches her limbs out. "Ice Sign! Cool Sunflower!"

Fvhi~r- VOASH

In the air, a massive, spinning storm of raw ice magic bloomed forth from Cirno, flourishing in the summer air as it seemed to cool the lakeside.

The colossal danmaku petal spun and enlarged, slowly expanding outward as it grew and blew dusty snow outwards from its form…

Woo~sh. With one final whisp, the blizzard ended.

...All the fairies around Cirno were now on the ground in blocks.

"Eye'm the best!" She began to do pretend jumping jacks in the air, for some reason. "Now- now let's go freeze over there!" Pointing across the lake, she zoomed off, flying superman style towards the other lakeside.

...From here, we could see a myriad of water fairies erupt from the lake to gank her, before promptly getting into a dogfight.

Jesus. The overworld's a scary place…!

...Before we even said a word to one another, we all waded back to the shore and freakin'... flailed wildly to dry off a little.

Exhaling, Genkan looked at us with heavy eyes. "What… are you two doing out here?"

"Gettin' the hell outta dodge!" I inform her! "Shit's crazy! Ha-chan went nuts- freakin'... it's the fairy-ocalypse!" Aa~h! S'not even hyperbole, either!

"We're heading to the village or the shrine, I think…" Maria explains the plan! "Come with us. You look beat up…"

"I- I'm not beat up." Genkan denies having trouble with the fairies. "...Summer is simply not my… ideal condition. Normally, I'd hibernate… but this isn't a normal summer… if- if you hadn't guessed."

Ahah. "Yeah, yo, and death ain't an ideal condition, either. Freakin'..." Well, we're… halfway across the lake! Aa~h…

Genkan gives me a dry stare, before just huffin' again… "Quite. ...Let's go. We're getting harassed no matter how we do this. And-" Oh, shit, she stumbled…!

Too far to catch her…! Running forward, I cast Hard Winter aside and-

Oof. Well, that sucked! I like, got down and tried to slide under her, but ended up just getting smooshed under half of her.

...She sighed. "I... appreciate the effort." Aw…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Fwo- Fwo- Fwoa~m!

We've have learned… that a sheet of ice reinforced with electricity makes for an okay defense against mega death lasers!

Genkan held onto the sheet, pressing her form against it as we slowly moved forward. "Nnh…" Her form was also vaguely electric, as Maria had to feed magic into the side of the thing with her staff, and it went from the sheet and into her.

I also lended Genkan Hard Winter, so she'd be able to truck through it easier…!

Fwoa~m! Another beam clipped the sheet, making Genkan tense up and stop, but the sheet lives!

"Ice youkai go ho~me!" One of the sunflower fairies yells at us!

"They can't run, they can't hi~de…!" A nearly identical sunflower fairy taunts us, as we technically do both with this electric ice shield…

"This forest is your enemy!" One of them starts flying straight at the shield…!

Fwoa~m!

Thunk! ...She got matted against it by one of her friend's death beams. "Oo~h…!"

Fwoa~m!

Thunk! Her attempt at escape was thwarted by the other fairy. Electricity starts flowing into her! "Nngh- he- nh-"

Fwoa- Pi~chun! Aw. Her friends killed her, dude…!

By now we've reached the far end of the lake, yo. Hakurei path's right on over here…!

As we progress along-

Fwap- fwa- fwa- fwa- fwap. A barrage of talismans from above home in on the two fairies-

Pi- pi- pi- pi~chun! A~nd they've all been killed instantly. Even the ones that haven't come out of the bushes yet…!

Fwap- fwap- fwap. Like ten talismans drift into our shield, sticking to it and glowing ominously…!

Reimu roars overhead, two yin yang orbs revolving around her as she darts ahead.

...After scanning the sky, I see Marisa's on the prowl too! Somewhere a little distant from here, though…

"Hi."

Oh. Someone's said hi to us, yo…

Turning to the left, I see a fairy with fluffy butterfly wings and a green dress drift up to us… "Why're you dressed so warm for today? Don't you know what season it is?"

Genkan scowled at her. "...You know, it's winter elsewhere."

The fairy beamed at her like she told a really good joke. "What? Oh, wow, a yuki-onna! If the yuki-onna wake up out of season, what sort of omen is that…?"

...Genkan just gave her a dry stare.

"Y'see, we're uh…" Aw, yo! "We're Norwegianers, dude!" I nod…!

The fairy blinked. "Nor-weegies? Nor-... Norweg... That sounds made up." She gives up with a calm smile.

"See- we're eskimos." I inform the ill-informed fairy friend. "We always dress warm!"

...At that, she responds with zero change in expression. "That sounds stupid."

"...If we don't dress warm, we die, dude." I justify our life choices. "Like, flop over, dead."

She looks like she gets it! "Oh! I've seen some humans who do that before! They walk into the woods- sometimes with a sword or knife- and then when I find them, they're on the ground and dead. Guess they forgot their warm clothes."

...You are a weird fairy!

We continue forward towards down the shrine path, our reinforced posture slightly relaxing as no fairies seem to jump out at us while this butterfly fairy or something is hovering about us…

So I hold onto her interest! "Wegga board." The way she said 'norweg' reminded me of 'wegga board', another made up thing.

She smiles! "Wegga board!"

Wegga board, dude…

...As we continue forward, she flutters her wings. "I'm a pretty butterfly, don't you think? Fufufu…"

Nice laugh for a fairy. "Yeah, yo."

As we reach the shrine ground, a myriad of curiously equipped fairies seem to hover out of the way of the steps as we approach with the fairy…

Hmm. There're cherry blossoms bloomed all around the shrine hill! They're cuddly looking, dude...

I look at the fairy. "What do they call you, yo? Wings? Dust-and-stuff?"

"Eternity." She gives me a level, smile-accented stare.

...Well, that's a fun name for a fairy. She secretly time elemental…!?

"This is probably the first time a key's been held by an eskimo…" She brings a hand to her chin, before rubbing it… "Well, just remember to wear your warm clothes. If you died, it would be sad. I would be sad."

Staring off into space, she blinks a few times, before focusing on me again. "...It's a little chilly over here. I'm gonna go back to the lake before the breeze makes me catch a cold…"

Can fairies even catch colds? I just realized, can yuki-onna and ice fairies get colds? If a yuki-onna catches a cold… how's that even work!?

"Bye, yo!" I wave at the friendly fairy. First fairy today- other than Cirno- who didn't see us and instantly decide to gut us…! Well, there was that, uh, long legged fairy, but u~h...

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

After she left, the fairies came back with a vengeance, so~...!

Running through the curiously open village gate, we make our way in…!

"Aah- ngh…" Genkan now knows the pains of running. "Hah…"

"Nnh- I- I'm... e- exhausted…" Maria states the obvious!

Freakin'...

...As we make our way through the open gate, there seems to be another barrier ahead, of wood and guys with big sticks!

It's pretty sunny down here at the village. It's a little cooler than it was at the shrine, for some reason, but it's not actually cold. Just… draftier.

"What now…?" Genkan warily eyes the wall of guards. Hmm~...

Brushin' off my camou-kimono, I step out from around our ice barrier…! "Wish me luck, yo!" It is time to negotiate!

...Walking up to the wall, I knock on it. "Yo. S'there any way in there…?"

A moment later, a single armored and armed dude hops off and slides down, since it's slanted. Once he reaches the ground where I'm at, he points his pike at me. "Hands up."

"I'll give you money if you let us in." I put it bluntly! "If ya couldn't tell, fairymania. Safety's kinda a hot commodity, now."

"...Give me it now." He makes a demand!

"If you don't let us in, I will run around, scream, gather fairies, and run back here wit 'em." I slowly widen my grin…!

"Not if I don't let you leave." He starts to lower his pike for thrusting, yo…

"I can teleport." I lie out my ass. "Here I am trying to get in the right way, yo, wit' my friends, and here you are, son."

...He's got his brows furrowed! "What's in it for me?"

Y'stupid? "Toldja it was money, son. Know a place where you can buy hookers, too." Technically!

"Around this way." Raising his pike again, he gestures for me to follow him, and begins moving to a nearby alley…

Lookin' at the friends, I gesture for them to follow!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

After going down a few alleys… we've reached some kind of super secret checkpoint! There're more guards here, but the ones that are here are just kinda relaxing and leaning against the wall…

In the sunlight, these alleys look all dusty and dirty. Freakin'... dirt brown all around.

"Go through here." The guard advises us, before looking us over.

...After scanning our forms repeatedly, lingering on Genkan and Maria for some reason, he holds out an arm. "I'll need that money, now."

...Reaching into my bag, I fumble around… and take out a wooden block.

Handing it over to him, I nod. He accepts it.

...Reaching into my bag again, I fumble around… and take out another wooden block.

Handing it over to him, I nod, this time warmer. He accepts it with his other hand.

...Reaching into-

"This… what are these." He gives me a flat question as he looks the blocks over.

"Eighteen inch cubic zirconium, dude." I grin, and make sure to puff my cheeks too! "Real good shit! Each one- each one sells for, uh… I heard it was like, ten yen, or something like that. How much did you want again?"

...Looking over at his fellow, relaxing guards, he just huffs, vaguely confused. "Um…" Looking back down at the blocks, he… he dunno what to do! "Give me… a hundred, then."

I nod! "Sure thing!"

He blinks, taken aback.

...Reaching into my bag, I take out another wooden block.

I hold it out for him to accept. Almost numbly, he holds his arms forward for me to drop it in.

...Reaching into my bag-

"You know what?" Dropping his blocks, he steps up to me and grabs the bag. "Just fucking give me that-... it's empty?"

Frowning, he flips the bag over- oh shit-

Boom! The bomb hanger drops from it, and does what a bomb hanger does!

"Fuh- auh!?" He's sent sprawling from the blast!

The nearby guards all flail wildly in surprise…!

"Run!" Darting forward into the lingering blast to steal my crap, I clutch it, scramble blindly to the left, and then attempt to keep up with the friends…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Well, we got through the checkpoint! No one- other than that pissed guy I scammed- bothered to pursue us, and he got lost at some point along the way…

Genkan just looks freakin' annihilated. "Ha- ah… nnh…" She's all sweaty, and her hair's frizzy!

Maria's not doing much better in her generic villager rags. "Ha~h… ha~h…" Today's been a running kind of day, yo…

We're in some alley just off one of the near main streets. Oof…

...We now have a moment to breathe! And think. Freakin'...

"I- I hate this…" Genkan is instantly bad news! Looking down at her torn and soggy kimono- she's got that blue and white stock one on now- she just holds up her arms, lookin' all messy.

It's one of those days, yo. "Don't we all…" Taking my eyes off her soaked form, I look around!

"It's… warm, around my abode." Venting her frustrations, Genkan drops her arms… "Fairies came in and forced me out… and it's snowing in the forest, for some reason. It- it's probably an incident..."

I nod 'n' look back at 'er. "Y'know, we actually saw the big bad the other day!"

...She blinks.

"By big bad, I mean incident master person." I redefine my terms…!

"Ah. Surely ended well…" Sighing, she shifts herself about anxiously, uncomfortable. "I'm in no condition to end this."

Yeah. "A god did it, this time." I inform her how hopeless us doing anything about it is!

"Oh…" With a slanted smile, she sighs, still shifting about. "Suppose we'll just have to live with this, then. As disgraceful as it is to take refuge here…"

"There- there's really nowhere else…" Maria seems to be catching her breath, too. "There's… the shrine, but-"

"No." Genkan shakes her head. "That's… if we'd ended up there, I'd also make do... but of the two hells, I'm content with this one." Pfft…

"...Guess it wouldn't be a good place to take a youkai." Maria figured.

"We should crash somewhere, yo…" We're pretty much all fucked up, so we need to find a nice safe house before we get into more trouble. Freakin'...

I'd say we take over Fred's place again, but last time we did he tried to jump me in my sleep. London kicked his ass, but still.

Sekibanki? Well, we could. Dunno if we should

"Hehehe~!" We hear a fairy outside the alley…!

Looking outside, I see a single, green-haired fairy whirl by-

Thu-thu-thunk! Three arrows hit her like a wall, stopping her dead in her tracks and sending her falling statically to the ground-

Pi~chun! Pretty apt! Still, took like three arrows to kill a fairy. Freakin'...

"We- we could stay at mister Kirisame's…" Maria considers.

Oh, actually… "Don't you own a house?" Lookin' over at her, I grin…!

...She blinks. "No?"

She realizes what I was referring to. "Well- we- we can't just go back. That would… that would be a bit much, I- I think."

"Nonsense, yo. It's a big comfy house!" Wahaha! I start walkin'...! "'Sides, I got sleep magic, dude. We can just put 'em to sleep and sentry 'em up summore."

"What are we discussing…?" Genkan was left out of the conversation, yo.

"Home." Let's go home, dude…

...Moving out of the alley and down the road, we hit the streets!

The guards're givin' us funny looks, but not very many pikemen are just about the road right now. Mostly dudes with bows, scanning the skies-

Pi~chun! -for good reason, apparently. Fairies're makin' attempts, today!

...Aside from getting our asses beat, the village has a curiously nice aesthetic today. It's weirdly grey today, compared to the nonsense going on outside.

"I- I wanted to stop at my bar again, today, too…" Maria reveals her previous day plans. "I'm not okay with… something I saw."

Oh, yeah, I should probably update her on the whole murder loli thing. Girl just screams instant death…!

"You own a bar…?" Genkan's a little surprised! "...I didn't take you for an entrepreneur."

"Used to." Maria clarifies. "After my mother died, I set it up. I didn't know what I was doing…"

"Ah." Genkan absorbs the information…

I glance back at 'er as we make our way across the scantily-populated main square. "Oh, yeah. Don't fuck around with the interior of the bar too much. I know the guy who runs it; he's probably got some sneaky bullshit for his security."

"What…?" Maria blinks at my words. "You know the manager?"

"Yeah, yo." I nod. "Dude straight up kills guys, yo. Puts boys''s bodies on the wall. If he's runnin' some operation, I bet he's got goons now, too...!" I did see that cat lady from before there with beer. Freakin', her name's on the tip of my tongue…

Genkan frowns. "I suppose that would figure. This village is cruel."

"So if ya did go…" I warn Maria of the dangers! "He'd probably try ta strangle 'er mangle ya or some shit. He's also got this death loli of doom with him, who can eviscerate stronger things."

"...I see." Maria stares down at the ground. "...Well… maybe… hrmm."

"In simpler words!" To finalize my point…! "If ya go there, even with us as backup, I'm pretty sure we'd die!"

"...Oh." Maria blinks awkwardly…

"You underestimate me." Genkan glances over at me… "Simply because I'm weaker today-"

"Nah, we all go in at full power, at least one of us ain't walkin' back out." I make my case clearer, yo.

"I thought you knew the manager…?" Maria questions me!

Emphasis on 'knew'! "I dunno anymore, yo." Genuinely dunno…!

...We're near the alley where Maria's dictators live!

As we move into the alley, Genkan continues to look around… "Why is everything the humans make so ugly?"

"'Cause we're ugly…!" I say the first thing that comes to mind! "Also, we have nothing to work with and everyone seemingly wants to fall over and die, so…"

"...That would do it, I suppose." Genkan sympathizes with the feeling!

Coming up to the hen house, I step up to the porch!

"U- uhm…" Maria's not sure what to tell me!

Knock knock knock. Open up, noo~bs!

Freakin'...

Knock. I freakin' punched the door, yo.

Crea~k. It opens!

"What?" Impatiently, the son swings the door open!

Then he sees us, and tries to immediately slam it again-

I throw myself against it! "It's fluffle butt fever time, son!" Wahaha~!

"Buffoon!" He called me a buffoo~n, dude! "I will have the authorities!"

Y'know what that means, yo…? Means he currently don't got the authority!

Taking out Fairy Harp, I keep struggling to push the door open…!

Then, he lets me in by relenting and darting back into the intro room…

As I steady myself again, he draws a fencing sword from his belt. "...Be-... beware the fury of a patient man." Son, let's not kid ourselves here…

"You're cool, dude." I reaffirm his coolness. "Show me yer best sword technique!"

...Grinning, he brings his blade back. "Very well. If that is what you desire, I shall be your angel of death!"

Fwi~sh. He begins to spin around-

I duck outside by stepping back and going around the wall.

Whi- whi- whi- whish! He stabs out the door frame repeatedly and rapidly. Good attack, but...

...Once he's done, I look back inside, only to see him trying to catch his balance. "Ha- haha…! Let… me see you bl- bleed!"

Aw. Bringing up Fairy Harp, I channel mana into it-

Woosh. A gust of fairy dust filled air floats out into him-

"A- aah- achoo!" Now he's dizzy and congested, dude.

...I look back down that porch steps. Genkan's just got her eyebrows raised, while Maria's… also got her eyebrows raised!

...Turning back inside, I dart in while the guy's steppin' about-

Whack! And I kick 'em!

"Ah…!?" I forgot this guy's name, actually. Somehow. He's sitting down now, so I guess it doesn't matter… "Yo- you monster…!"

"Look, yo." I point my plant hanger at him menacingly…! "We~ own this house now!"

"When my parents get back…" He gives me an uneven scowl. "Youkai."

Al~right.

...Woosh. Have another one! Gust of air, that is, not a weak kick...

"Aah- nnhg…!" He tries really hard to resist sneezing, to the point his eyes start to water.

Gesturing for the friends to come in, I step deeper into the house…

...Once I'm in the dining room, I throw Fairy Harp on the table, and move back out to the front room. Genkan's still got Hard Winter, so…

As she and Maria try to access the dining room, I step into her way in particular…

"Hi, friend." I greet her.

She snorts. "...You look expectant. What is it?"

I point at the noob guy as he tries to unsteadily get back up. "Use earth magic on him, yo. The hanger has it in it."

She just blinks. "...Is that so?" Pointing the hanger at him, she focuses…

Fwo. A tiny, green magical circle forms in the midst of his being-

Fwoo~sh. For some reason, it flourishes, blooming outward and gaining a bigger, more complex pattern as the green flowed into the air. S'a curiously different earth spell than mine, but seems to have the same single-target radius…

"Ugh…" Eyes heavy, the guy just-

Thud. -rolls off the nearby tiny table he was leaning on, and flops over.

Hoh. Later on, I'll drag him to wherever we're sleeping and have London keep 'em down.

…Genkan nods slowly at this. "I see. Curious…" At that, she moves to pass the hanger back to me. "I was half expecting you to ask me for a hug again."

Aw. "Thanks for reminding me, yo. Can we cuddle." I'm a snugglepuss, son.

...After givin' me a dry stare, she continues into the dining room by moving past me! "I can't say I'm particularly in the mood to be interacting with warm bodies. My own clothes feel like too much as it is, and my mana reserves and natural temperature are all out of whack…"

Holding herself, she huffs. "I just want this incident to be over."

So take your clothes off, yo. No~ I can't say that…

Actually… "Do you know how much ice resistance you have?" I ask her a question!

...She turns to me dryly. "As if I've run the numbers. The cold aids me, so there is that."

I'm gonna say two hundred percent, then. Wait…

I start slipping off my camou-kimono. "Here, yo, wear this…!" I've got an idea!

"What're you doing…?" Maria looks over at us!

Genkan gives me a vain stare. "I'm quite certain I don't want to. Just because this is a quiet moment doesn't mean you may simply spend the time annoying me."

Freakin'... "This thing's one hundred percent ice resistant, yo. And if you get healed by the cold, imagine how much more it'd heal you with an additional hundred percent!"

...She's still giving me a vain stare. "That sounds scientifically impossible." You're a yuki-onna who lives in a cave and doesn't know what robots are. What do you know 'bout science…!?

Once I'm in just my boxers, I cast the kimono aside. "Alright, yo. I think you can probably just slip it on over your current one…"

...Picking it up telemagically, she moves for a different room. "I'll wear one article at a time, thank you very much."

...Would her kimono give me resistance? Does it have any resistance on its own? I feel like characters' innate resistances don't stack with their clothes, for some reason. Or else Reimu should be like two hundred percent holy, among some other examples. If all the heroines swapped outfits, would they become elemental demigods? Life is strange…!

Looking over, I meet Maria's stare.

She looks half-amused, but also somewhat comfortable, sitting down on one of the comfy chairs.

...A moment later, Genkan comes back!

Aw. The camou-kimono's a little bit of a hard fit, mostly 'cause I don't have a chest area and she does. "I feel like a moron." She pouts down at the clothing… "It... somehow feels warmer than my own apparel."

Hmm. Might be the negative heat resist. I mean, if she was fifty percent weak to fire before… she's now one hundred percent weak to fire! And, by my logic, three hundred percent ice resistant.

Thunk! Crouching down and channeling mana into Hard Winter, I thrust it into the floor!

Ka- fwi- fwi- fwi- fwish. I execute that ice crystals spell! The one where a big crystal forms in my target's torso and starts freezing some of the air around it…

"Ooh…!" Eyes widening, Genkan brings her arms up, the attack jolting energy into her. "Oh my…"

Aw… "Yo, Maria!" I call for some help! "Use freeze on her!"

Having observed the interaction, she gets up too, bringing up her staff as she nears the yuki-onna…

Ka- fwi- fwi- fwi- fwish. I cast again-

"Freeze!" Bringing her staff up, Maria swings it through the air-

Fwash! A shotgun spread of ice magic whirls out and shatters against the yuki-onna's form.

"Nn- nh…" She holds her hands over her mouth, posture relaxing as she slowly drifts into the air from the repeated ice attacks.

Ka- fwi- fwi- fwi- fwish. Once mo~re…!

Fwash! "Freeze!" Maria casts one more freeze on 'er!

"Ha- that's- that's enough…" Jittering in the air, Genkan exhales… "I'm-... ad- adequately cold." Brimming with energy again, she lets one hand travel to her cheek while her other arm travels her body…

...Maria lowers her staff-

Ka- fwi- fwi- fwi- fwish! Becoming lightheaded 'cause my mana's running out, but I'm still castin', yo…!

The repeated freezes catch Genkan by surprise. "Oh- ohn~!" Letting out a moan, she cringes in the air. Her cheeks even gain a little, blue-tinted blush…! "Sto- stop. I- I'm being overstimulated…"

Wahaha! I-

She whirls up and steals the hanger from me. "Gi- give me that…" Aw.

...Unsure what to do with it, she just holds it idly, giving it a vaguely furrowed-brow stare...

"...Ha~h." Exhaling, she seemed to wind back down. "Apparently you were onto something." Relaxing again, she drifts into the air and twirls about. "I feel rejuvenated."

Yo ho ho~! "...I probably shoulda thought 'a that earlier, but y'know, hell on earth." Freakin'... fairy palooza. Soft, cuddleable, and deadly.

"Perhaps." Landing on her socks again- apparently she took her sandals off at the door earlier- she nodded. "Still… compared to the usual effects of a snowstorm on my body, that was…"

Amplified resistance, yo. She has so much ice resistance right now, that I could stab her with an ice sword and it'd heal her. Hoh.

...As she looks herself over, I give her an intent stare!

...Why do I feel self-conscious about asking her to cuddle now? Probably because I'm in my skivvies. Freakin'-

After a moment, I see her begin to look back up at me- a~nd, I looked away a little too late, good job. "...You're staring, again." Genkan takes note! "...Can I assume you're still looking for that hug?"

Whelp! Gotta commit! "Yeah, yo…" It's freakin'... a little drafty, though! You know, I could-

She drifts towards me slowly... "I suppose you've been patient enough." Getting closer, she raises her arms.

Woah. You know, I don't have my kimono on- I might wanna-

Before I can do anything, the yuki-onna drifts up to me and wraps her arms around me. "Here…"

Pressed against her in a constraining embrace, her arms wrap around me and I feel my own kimono move to bind me. So much for freakin', bracing myself...

Now that we're up close, she adjusts so that my head rests on her shoulder, and vice versa. "Ah…" Her arms shift against my back. "You're warm…"

And you're cold…! Not bone-chillingly, though. Despite pumping 'er up, she feels alright…

Ah. That soothing sensation's kicking in… wait- oh shit-

"Relax." Oo~h. Spoke right into my ear. "I wouldn't hurt you." Ah...

I hear Maria get up from her chair, setting her staff on the table and moving to another room. Da~h…! Where're you goin'...!? Well, this-

Ooh. That soothing, drowsiness inducing feeling began to pulse through my body as Genkan squeezed me…

Her words are soft. "I'll take some warmth…" Oh...

Between the low mana… and running everywhere, and this…

Wow.

I chill right the fuck out, allowing my limbs to become weak.

Genkan seems to just be holding me up entirely on her own, so I stop trying to stand, a~nd… allow my legs to relax. My arms are kinda hard to move, but like that time she freakin' whisked me to her cave, I can slide them forward and around her…

Like this, I hug onto her soft body, and press myself into her. Ye~s…

Not gonna lie, being able to just hold a hug like this is awesome. Nothing'd be more immersive...

On an exhale, the softness and the unnaturally pleasant sensation of her embrace hits me.

Deep in a hug with the snow woman, my eyes become heavy…

Genkan leans the side of her head into mine, and I hear her speak. "Sleep."

Wa- wait, I… it's not like the day's…

A- ah...

...

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Mmrm…

Good morning, world. Now, what- oh. Genkan…

Sitting up, I find myself in the stuffy bedroom, bundled up in all of the blankets.

The window outside reveals that it i~s almost night! Aa~h.

Genkan put me to sleep with her hug. Just the notion of a girl hugging me into oblivion's hot…! It actually happened, too! Dude!

...I'm tempted to do that again. But, y'know, I just slept, and freakin'...

Crawling out of the bed- I~'m still in my skivvies, she just freakin' deposited me into some blankets…

Her kimono's off in the corner of the room. The only other option looks like the stuffy dresser, but I don't wanna~...

Actually… nah, I seem to be the only one in this room right now. Whelp, on with her kimono!

After throwing it on, I realize that it's got a lot more fabric than my body has flesh to hold, and I also realize it's similar to the base version of my camou-kimono. Feels like fifty percent resistance to me…

With the kimono on as well as I can manage- not very- I lumber back into the main room!

...Maria's sitting at one of the comfy chairs with sleepy eyes, and Genkan's a few chairs down.

"Mmm~! Mrm!" ...That noob is stuck to the wall, ice shackling him in place and a patch of frost over his mouth to keep him from yelling.

Genkan's still in my kimono…! "Good morning."

Aw. "Good afternoon, yo." Neither of us are correct!

...I glance over at the drowsy-looking Maria-

"Did you sleep well?" Aw. Genkan asks the fun question.

...This feels like a bad idea, but…! "Can we hug again?" Roll the dice!

She gives me a dry stare. "At this rate, we probably wouldn't get anything done if we did."

Yawning, Maria rubs an eye… "I know it feels good, Brad, but save it for later…"

...I focus on Maria properly! "Wha's gottin' inta you, yo…?"

"She napped as well." Genkan raises from her chair… "With my assistance, that is."

Aa~h. Huh. No wonder she looks out of it. I probably do, too…!

"...You still look half in the bag." Grinning at me, she makes a similar observation…!

Man, if I look anywhere near as wistful and wasted as her, people're gonna mistake us as drunkards on the street…! Which, y'know, may or may not be a good thing, all things considered.

...You know, I just realized. That window in the back of the room, below the stairs up, is still broken. Also- if all the bedrooms are downstairs, what the fuck is upstairs?

"I've seldom ever used my abilities for recreation…" Genkan admits, drifting into the midst of the room… "Perhaps I should start charging, if it's really so pleasurable."

Aha~h.

...Glancing down at my duds, I look up at 'er. "You mind me borrowin' this…?"

She waves it off. "All our clothes are caked in sweat and filth at this point. It doesn't matter anymore."

...Yeah, s'a good point. We should probably swap just so I can get the most 'a my resistances. I think Genkan can be healed at a slower rate by ice even by default, so…

Also, the things in this stuffy room have gone unmolested for far too long.

"Are you sure we can't talk with the manager of that new bar…?" Maria asks me again, slowly rousing herself into awakeness. "I don't think it'd hurt to just talk with him…"

I grin at her as I near one of the tables in the back 'a the room. "Aah, yeah. Lemme tell you, yo. There's a fifty-fifty that it would indeed hurt just to talk wit' em!" Also, let's see, what's goin' on back here, yo…?

Newspaper stack, some parchment and quills, silly decorative vases… blocks of wood, unlike mine, for some reason.

Aw, newspaper? I wonder what's on the news tonight, dude.

I rotate the paper around to see the front. Aah, Bunbunmaru! I wonder if they've heard about the new U.S. president even over here. Well, it's technically supposed to be twenty fifteen in this universe, so the world hasn't exploded into visible insanity yet. I'm also not supposed to know any of this…!

...Ah, this was- wait, these are daily editions? I don't know what days exactly 'cause the papers are in Japanese and Gensokyo's… apparently in the year a hundred thirty and change.

These papers're also awfully varied in dates…

"I still think you're overplaying his competence." Genkan doubts the killing capability of Matt and his bumfuck brigade…! "Still, if you say we shouldn't…"

Yeah, yo. Searching the house nearby should be fine, though, maybe. Gotta keep our eyes peeled, yo…

Whelp, since I can't... read… weren't these in English at one point? And-

Hold, yo. There is a paper here, in English. Why?

'Thirty-Six Killed in Bad Technology Accident. Foul Play Expected?'

That sounds new. Lemme just…

'Yesterday, at the Guard Headquarters, a tragic accident left thirty- six armed guards dead. Fifteen of those who were inside the complex made it out without any injuries, while two were only minorly injured.'

Oh. Not that new after all. Ah, fuck, that's the one time I killed thirty- six people by accident. Freakin'...

Almost silently, Genkan stalks up to me on her white socks. "Here I thought you couldn't read."

"This issue's in English, fer some reason." I'm pretty sure I glanced over it at some point before, but nnh. I think I'll just skim through it since I know what went down.

"...That happens, on occasion." Genkan tilted her head. "English is a messy language, isn't it?"

Ahah. Well, yeah.

'The outsider, Brad Pantystealer, had this to say:

"I dunno how they initially did it, but they kept her under control with this machine… It had a touchpad, and a ton of tubes that pumped various things into people. Faith, fear, anesthetic…"

Brad Pantystealer, Keine Kamishirasawa, and an unknown anti-Hakurei conspiratist were among those who escaped from this disaster, seen on the cover image above.'

There's a picture of me, Ha-chan and I think Mapleweather, Matt, and Keine booking it from the wreckage. That'd figure, wouldn't it?

...I'm briefly distracted by how Genkan leans over my shoulder to glance over the paper, too.

Pushing in some of our chairs for some reason, Maria looks us over… "How often do you guys read the paper?"

'It seems like the village's security has been making big changes in how it treats youkai, and how it plans to combat them. When questioned, Samuru Saito, the village chieftain, had declared this an "overwhelming embarrassment" and "severe example of deficiency in the management of village security".'

So the chief's Samuru Saito, huh? I'd like to have some words with him!

"Aa~h…" I tilt my head back and forth. "Just now!"

"A handful of times." Genkan admits. "It's largely gossip, and as the tengu distribute two editions, I'm left with the droll gossip rag centered around youkai, for youkai."

I wonder what that paper's like. Actually, what if the English editions are for outsiders like me…? How many others are there? So far, it don't look like much more, but…!

I begin to turn-

"Hold on." Genkan stops me…! Ah.

"...It was one of the few things I had to do." Maria began to approach us, too. "They let me, too. Told me it would be healthy to keep myself informed, among other things…"

"They?" Genkan rose a brow, before moving to turn the page now that she was done reading the article. "Also…" She turned to me with a dry expression. "What did you do…?"

I give 'er a grin…! "Let's just say the base had a destruct sequence I wasn't informed of…!"

Maria doubletook. "Destruct sequence? What're you reading…"

Let's see! Next article...

'Unexplained Murders Explained! It's Not a Youkai?'

Interesting premise!

"I have a feeling no one believed that." Genkan regarded the title dryly…

'Before we get into the details, for those who just want the info, the killer is a human named Matt, with brown hair, and pale skin. His weapon of choice is scissors, and he has been declared dangerous.'

Oh. Oh.

Looking over my other shoulder, Maria sees the article. "...Oh, wow. That issue. You would jump straight to that one..."

It's like one 'a the three English newspapers of the stack 'a fifty!

'Yesterday, at the Hakurei Shrine, Youmu Konpaku was seeking a certain shrine maiden to help her bring a criminal to justice. While the shrine maiden was out presumably partying it up, Youmu patiently waited at the shrine. When approached, she was glad to comment and share what she knew regarding the mysterious crimes.'

He pissed off Youmu? No shit…

Let's see~... some of Youmu talking about him, Aya heckled Remilia for some reason-

Wait.

'Needless to say, she wasn't very helpful. Looking for further information, I contacted the families of the deceased. Unfortunately, Mark didn't have a family to question, but his deceased girlfriend, Sally Yamada, had a daughter eligible for questioning.

Maria Yamada was upset. "He… he killed my mom. He killed Mark. I… I lost my entire family. I'm living with my... grand- whoever. I don't even know these people! I want my family back! I want my life back..."

This crushing loss dealt a serious, traumatic blow to Yamada. I then went to grand uncle Kirisame for more comment.

"I'm gonna kill him." He grinned. "When I see him, that is."

Shrine maiden Reimu Hakurei responded to this situation, by saying she would "confront the one responsible".

Matt is an outsider, who arrived in Gensokyo a while ago.

Honest and True Reporter, Aya Shameimaru.'

There's a little more to this situation than I'd've bargained for…!

Genkan sighed. "...I suppose that'd answer my question."

I raise a brow at 'er. What question, yo…?

She reads my expression. "She spoke of a 'they', which seems to be the family she's placed in now."

...Looking over at the guy she slapped onto the wall, she tilted her head. "This breaking and entering seems more justified, now."

"It- it was awhile ago…" Maria looks to the side, treading towards the door. "You guys don't have to feel bad about it, o- or anything. It… feels like forever ago to me, anyway…"

A~nd it's all Matt's fault, by some unholy cosmic needle-threading bullshittery. Goddamn it, son…! Crossed into an entirely different plain of existence, and yer still testing my patience when it comes to this shit…! Except this time you actually killed dudes! Again!

When I first heard he was killin' dudes, I was kinda indifferent. Didn't really mean anything to me. Well, life comes at 'cha fast apparently, 'cause now it means a little more!

...Damn.

I look back down at the paper.

'Communal Fluff Dust Bath'

Ahahaw~! Dude, they're digging little dusty holes and nuzzling each other…!

"We should move before it's completely dark out." Disinterested in the communal fluff dust bath, Genkan parted from my shoulder.

Man, she needs to wear tighter kimonos more often… albeit not camoflauge, since that does an okay job of hiding her features. She smells nice, too. A lot of girls smell nice, but she also smells nice!

"Yeah, yo." Guess I'm just walking around in Genkan's thing for the moment! "That house between Golden Grin and freakin'... 'Small Packages' innit? We should stop there 'n' look around."

Before Maria can even hum in confirmation, Genkan gives me a dry stare…! "Small Packages?"

...Lookin' over at her, I grin and nod! "Small Packages, yo. They prostitute people."

"...Great." Genkan moves for the door out…! "Let me get my sandals."

"I haven't gone there in awhile…" Maria gets herself hyped a little…! "I think I can go back now, though."

Ho ho~. Movin' to follow her and Genkan out-

"Mmh!" Oh. That noob's still tied up. Aa~h, we'll probably come back and… maybe free him. Or feed him. Or maybe he'll just become one of those gags where the scene cuts back to him at the end of an event to show him still there and forgotten about. Speaking of scene cutting-

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 73

PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Hard Winter - A earth/ice-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice! Allows the user to cast Ice Shard. Extends combo length by one artificially. Allows the user to jump out out of combos smoothly, and leave frost in their trail.

INVENTORY:

[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…

==o==

WEAPONS:

Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.

Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.

Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!

Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.

Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.

Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...

Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.

Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!

Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.

Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!

Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!

NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.

NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…

==o==

ARMOR:

Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!

Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!

Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!

Yuki-onna Kimono - Genkan's stock kimono. It's a little big on me, and smells like wet. Fifty percent ice resistance, probably debuffs fire and burning resist to some degree.

Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.

Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! One hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent freezing resistant. Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it. Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.

Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' helmet. Fifty percent blinding resistant! When worn with the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit, it also confers immunity to burning and poison, along with another one hundred percent electricity resistance. Yo…!

Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes! Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.

MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range!

Sun Badge - Fifteen percent sun resistance when equipped. Fifty percent resistance to blinding and electrical stunning. Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare when worn.

==o==

CONSUMABLES/OTHER:

Forty-one thousand, two hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!

Four Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…

Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!

Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!

Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...

Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.

Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!

Hina's Bad Luck Talisman - I remembe~r! Upgrades a weapon to debuff luck on strike and stuff!

Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!

Sacred Eagle Feather - A gift from a rambler. It's… sentimental, I think? Help.

Some Fancy Key - A key lent to me by Brittany. Wha- why. What's it for…!?

PARTY:

London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!

PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.

==o==

Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning.

SKILLS:

Ice Control - Freely use ice to make stuff.

Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.

Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.

Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.

Triple Glacier - See above, but on three enemies! As such, costs triple the mana!

Ice Spin - Spins and lashes out with chilling frost. Probably just an extension of her normal frost powers and not an actual skill…

Other Skills - Probably has more spells, but freakin'... I dunno her like a textbook!

INVENTORY:

Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred percent ice resistance, and as such renders one immune to all magical ice damage. Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides you a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...

Money - Apparently.

I dunno - What would I~ have if I was a sexy ice woman?

[unknown spaces remaining]

==o==

Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Used to run the most impoverished bar ever, but that fell under or something. Really low self-esteem! No known resistances or weaknesses. Can cast basic elemental spells!

INVENTORY:

Wood Staff - Good for bonking things!

Raggedy Clothing - Low quality, old clothes from the village. Keeps her covered.

[Travel Bag] - Inventory that exists! Does not take up inventory because it is inventory. Eight slots.

Two Mana Potions - Guess wha~t? It heals, except mana!

[six spaces remaining]

==o==

ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:

this was a VARIED CHAPTER

had a lot of ACTION in the beginning, although ironically the incident is already over now since TH16 (like many incidents) took place over the course of one day - w -

threw us back into the village to do some more EXPLORING and tie up some LOOSE ENDS

genkan's cuddly dude - w -

perhaps we might actually get some things done in the village now that the incident is over and my guy has begun to see enough screwed up things

but we'll see yo

writing intimate-y scenes is weird with my guy's level of not giving a shit but - w -

i've actually known about hina's talisman since starting this batch but haven't had a good moment for my guy to go "oh shit that existed". added it to inventory this chapter anyway though

lewd scene pacing is always weird and you can guarantee it's gonna be cringy to someone somewhere (although that's still half the point - w - )

once you get some rhythm to it though and you let yourself get immersed though, yo… it's a high like no other - w - (although i wouldn't know since i've never done drugs).

that and not really like it's fully applied here either since i'm never putting a sex scene in the main body of this fic

satelite lemon fics? aaah, if there were any, they'd be by not-me people, for the sake of tracking and things. i can just kinda rattle this off here since i doubt anyone more prim and proper would read freakin' a million words of this XD

as always, see you next time!