Chapter Twenty One
Edward
I was nervous. This would be my first visit to Bella's place since Christmas and my first without the rest of the family being around. Bella had told me that no one else would be there.
I missed Maggie and frequently cursed my stupidity. If I had only listened to Bella and believed her, it would be me that Maggie called poppa. I would be the one playing with her and tucking her into bed at night. It would have been me that she ran to for a cuddle. Instead, I had refused to see sense and as a result, it was my 'brother' who had all of that.
Carlisle had understood how I felt and although he had chosen to help Bella he was still there for me when I needed to talk.
"I screwed up big time, Carlisle."
"Yes, you did. I tried to explain but you just didn't want to listen."
I sighed, "I know. I guess that I'm lucky Bella and Jasper are giving me a second chance with my daughter."
"You are. Be careful you don't forget that. And make sure that you treat that little girl right. Maggie has opened her heart to you over the past few months. She trusts you, Edward. Don't abuse that trust. If you do, you'll never see her again."
I remembered those words as I drove from the airport to the farm. I had thought I was the intelligent one. That I knew what was best for Bella. I was wrong there too. But I was determined not to mess up my precious second chance.
Maggie had started chatting to me on the phone for a few minutes once a week after Christmas and slowly I found her willing to tell me more about her life. It's strange but I found myself seeing the world anew, through her eyes.
Over the decades I had forgotten to look around me, to see beyond my own needs. My daughter changed all that and as the weeks went on I found small reminders of myself in her. She loved music and I wondered if maybe I could help teach her the piano when she was a little older. Or was I getting ahead of myself?
Maggie was waiting for me on the porch and ran to greet me as I pulled up. I wasn't sure what to do but she made it easy by smiling and putting her arms around my neck as I crouched down.
"Hello, Daddy."
"Hello, Maggie. It's good to see you again."
I cringed inwardly as I realized how formal I sounded but Maggie just smiled and took my hand.
"Come inside. I want to show you the new drawings in my bedroom."
"Maybe I should say hello to your mom first."
"Oh, that's OK. She's in the kitchen. We can talk to her later. She said it was OK to take you upstairs."
I allowed her to half drag me inside feeling awkward.
"Is your Papa around?"
She shook her head as we climbed the stairs, "No. he had to go into town but he'll be back later. Come on."
I wasn't sure what I expected but I was pleased to see the little keyboard and stool I had given her for Christmas placed in the window alcove and obviously in use.
She must have noticed because she said, "Would you like me to play something for you? I've been practicing."
"I would love that."
"You sit on the bed and listen then."
Perched on the edge of the thick counterpane I listened as Maggie played several nursery rhymes with surprisingly few mistakes.
"You're very good."
She brought the keyboard to me, "Mommy said you can play the piano. Will you play something for me? Please?"
I smiled, "OK. What would you like?"
She shrugged, "Anything. I know, how about the song from Frozen? I like that."
I pulled a face, "I don't think I know that one but I'll make sure to look it up for the next time. For now, how about this?"
I played the Flight of the Bumblebee and she clapped her hands in delight.
"That was cool. Play another."
After the William Tell Overture, I was persuaded to play Snakes and Ladders with her and found myself enjoying the experience although it just underlined how much I had thrown away with my choices.
I heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Bella standing in the doorway. She was as beautiful as ever. Motherhood suited her and I felt a pang as I saw the swell of her belly. This time it would be Jasper's child.
"Hello, Edward. I hope Maggie hasn't been too demanding. She was so excited to see you again."
I got up nodding.
"Hello, Bella. I enjoyed myself. You have a budding musician on your hands."
She smiled, "Yes. She was going to ask you to teach her some tunes. I told her that you composed one for me. Has she asked you to play that yet?"
A fleeting memory assailed me, Bella sitting beside me at the piano as I played it to her for the very first time. How long ago that now seemed.
"Mommy. I was going to ask Daddy later. You are staying aren't you Daddy?"
"Well, I have to leave later but we have all day if that's OK with your Mom."
"That's fine. Maggie, it's time for lunch so wash your hands and come downstairs."
Maggie disappeared into the bathroom and I followed Bella downstairs.
"Thank you for allowing me to visit."
Bella glanced at me, "Maggie is your daughter. It wouldn't be right for either of you to keep you away from her. Just be careful what you say. She's very impressionable."
"I will. I thought I'd take her for a walk after lunch if that's OK. She told me about her treehouse and I'd like to see it."
Bella smiled, "You're very honored. Hardly anyone gets invited there. It's her secret place."
I nodded, "Is Jasper away on business?"
"No. He just thought it might be easier for you if he made himself scarce for a few hours."
"That was very thoughtful of him."
"Yes, Edward. He's a very thoughtful man."
She said it without any rancor but I felt the barb anyhow.
"Bella, I'd like to apologize for the past. I know it will make no difference but I'd still like to do it."
"You're forgiven. Things worked out for the best, but a bit of advice, if I were you I'd think carefully before making important decisions in the future."
I laughed a little sadly, "I will, if that is, there is a future."
She smiled, "Self-pity really doesn't suit you, Edward. There will be someone for you out there."
"I hope so."
Our conversation was cut short by Maggie's appearance and I joined them at the table for lunch. It was so ordinary yet I felt blessed to be a part of it.
After lunch, Maggie wheedled a soda and some cookies from Bella, for a picnic, then took my hand and led me up a hill to where several sturdy trees stood. Beneath them were several tombstones and I stared in shock.
"It's OK, Daddy. That's Maggie and her children. She was Mommy's friend. This used to be her farm. Then she died so they buried her with her children. Mommy said a lot of mothers lost babies years ago."
I nodded, "Yes, they did. From disease or accidents. There weren't many doctors or medicines around then."
Maggie studied me for a moment and then pointed to the tallest tree, "See? There's my treehouse."
It was a sturdily built structure about ten feet from the ground with a ladder fixed to the trunk for access.
"Come on."
I followed her up into the building which had two windows of thick plastic for light and brightly colored cushions on the floor. Scattered around were toys and books.
"It's very cozy."
She beamed, "Yes. I love coming up here. Sometimes I just listen to the wind in the branches or watch the deer down below."
She hesitated then spoke shyly, "Can I ask you something, Daddy?"
"Sure."
"Why did you want to kill me?"
I was shocked but saw she was waiting for a reply.
"I…I didn't see it like that at the time. I'd heard so many stories about babies with a vampire for a father…"
"You mean hybrids?"
I nodded, smiling at such a complicated concept from such a young child.
"Yes, hybrids. I loved your Mommy very much and I was scared at the thought of losing her."
Her eyes bored into mine, "You thought I would kill her?"
I replied very carefully, "I thought that carrying you might."
"I would never hurt Mommy."
"I know that now but at the time you were just an…" I tried to find a simple word for abstract, "a notion. You weren't real to me."
"But I was to Mommy."
I laughed, "Yes, your Mommy is a lot wiser than me, braver too. I'm glad she made the decision to keep you."
"Mommy loves me. Poppa too."
I swallowed convulsively, "I know they do and I love you too. You are very precious to me and I promise you from now on that I would never do anything to hurt you or let anyone else harm you. I'm just glad we can be friends."
I waited as she considered my words for a minute or two and then she smiled.
"Me too. Come and lay down here with me."
I frowned, confused by her words and she dragged me to lay face down beside her and pointed to a small hole drilled in the boards.
Putting a finger to her lips she peered down and I looked too. Below us, I could see the undergrowth. Then there was a rustle and a small deer came into sight picking its way delicately between the bushes.
We watched together as it stopped to graze, looking up from time to time to check for predators before finally moving out of sight.
"That's Bambi. Isn't she pretty?"
Having only looked at deer as prey up to this point I had to agree. "Yes, she is. Do you see a lot of animals?"
Maggie nodded, "If I'm really quiet. I like watching them. Poppa says that most vampires drink human blood so we're unusual living on animals. He calls us Vegetarians."
She giggled, "Can you imagine chasing carrots across a field?"
I laughed, "Now that would be funny."
I thought about her words, " Do you drink animal blood, Maggie?"
She nodded, "Sometimes. When I was a baby I drank vampire blood."
I frowned, "Vampire blood?"
"Yes. I was sick and Poppa realized that I needed venom so I used to drink his."
I shook my head in wonder. How come my dear brother was so good at all this? It was almost as if he were Maggie's true father. That thought gave me a pang of jealousy but it was my own fault—all of it. I couldn't blame Bella or Jasper, only myself.
When we finally returned to the house a truck was parked outside and I knew that Jasper was back.
He and Bella were talking in the kitchen but he turned as we entered and Maggie ran to him for a hug.
"Poppa, Daddy, and I saw Bambi this afternoon and he's going to teach me how to play my keyboard."
Jasper smiled at her then nodded a greeting to me and I returned it.
"Well, I guess I should get going."
Maggie pulled a face, "Will you come to see me again soon?"
"I will." I was grateful that she wanted to see me again. "If that's OK with your parents."
"You're welcome to visit anytime, Edward. I'm sure it will be good for Maggie to spend time with you."
It was a gracious speech from my brother and I thanked him.
"I'll call you in a couple of days and don't forget that painting you promised to do for me. Perhaps Mommy will post it to me."
Maggie nodded, "I told Daddy I'd paint him a picture of us in my treehouse."
She was already distracted by the smell of cooking and I realized that she must be hungry. I just wished I was the one who would be sitting with them for dinner. What a complete fool I'd been.
"I'll walk you to your car, Edward."
I wondered what Jasper had to say that he didn't want Maggie to hear but followed him outside.
"I'd just like to thank you and Bella for allowing me to visit. I know it couldn't have been easy."
Jasper shrugged, "You were an asshole but you're still Maggie's father and she deserves to have you in her life."
I laughed, "Well, thank you nonetheless. I was hoping to visit again in a month. Is that OK?"
"Sure. Next time I'll be here too. I thought it might be easier if I was out of the way this time."
"I understand. Well, I guess I should head off. Tell Maggie I'll call her soon."
Jasper gestured behind me, "you can tell her yourself. She's come to wave you off."
I had another hug from my daughter then watched as she waved madly as I drove away, held in Jasper's arms. I felt another pang of jealousy then sighed, I'd gotten more than I deserved and would be grateful for that. My comfort came from the thought that I would see Maggie again soon.
