(MAHAHAHATT THAHAHAHAHAHA)
...It's morning on planet Earth.
Hrr~m. I need an assortment of pillows to line this garbage sleeping bag. Whatever.
Standing up, I find my balance…
Alright. Seems no one has professionally assassinated me in my sleep.
...Moving forward, I swing the door to Mako's new room open perhaps a margin less gracefully than I could have, but it's too early to care.
...He, she, I forgot, is still asleep on the naughty couch. She it was, I'm pretty sure. It could go either way.
Whatever, I'll figure it out later. Looking back at the loli room-
...Shikome's sitting before that Fisher Price fridge. For some reason, the floor around it is charred, and it's awkwardly squished inward, half-embedded in the floor. What happened.
Vanilla's splayed out on the floor next to her, with Rumia hugging her legs. "Mmnh…"
...Everything seems to be in order, then. Considering what they did to that fridge, maybe I should peek inside and look around…
Stepping up to the door, I look to the right. Some… more burn marks in places, and scratches, but otherwise fine. Okay.
To the left-
The succubus corpse is no longer recognizable. A mass of grey, root-like tendrils are wrapped around its remains, digging into the floor, surrounding walling, and such. Some shoots of grey wood are sprouting from it, too.
...I still would like to know what happened to that fridge. Pretty sure that indent in the floor is never getting fixed.
While I'm here, I should probably wake up Vanilla. Shikome never has to be woken up since I'm pretty certain she just never sleeps. At least, never has a need to sleep.
...Stepping through the room, I crouch next to the Rumia-Vanilla cuddle pile.
...Reaching down, I pat Vanilla's head.
…
I look over at Shikome. "Help."
...Shikome looks down at the embedded fridge, before standing up and tugging on it.
…"Hnh." She tries again. It's apparently in there really good. "...Hnh-"
Crack! The wood loudly snaps as she flings her arms up-
Bam! The fridge flies up and through the ceiling.
…
Thu- thunk, thunk. I hear things patter against the roof.
"Nnh…" Slowly, Vanilla starts to rise. "Wh-... what?"
We're going to have to have Rumia tape a bucket to the roof or something. It seems to have worked as an alarm clock, at least.
"It is a working day, today." I inform her. It is always a working day.
"Al- alright…" Sliding from Rumia's embrace, she rubs her eyes. "Le- let me get dressed…"
You still have your panties on, so you only have that cape to equip, which is currently sitting in the corner of the room. There's not a whole lot of dressing to do.
"Perhaps awaken Mako while you're at it." I suggest as I move for the exit. "It will be another big day, today."
"Oka~y." She seems nonchalant about this, enough.
/ / / / A DAY IN THE WHIRLING BLUE SKY / / / /
Sliding down the plywood rock climbing challenge, I strut into my bar proper as if I didn't just slide down a plywood rock climbing challenge…
There's a fairy asleep on the further left table, for some reason. This one has really swirly, done-up cyan hair, and a vibrant neon blue dress. She's also marginally taller than most overworld fairies.
The place is pretty dim. That's what having no windows does.
...Let's see, is all the beer still here?
...Yeah. All like, one third of our stock that oni left us with.
Anyway…
Vanilla stumbles down the plywood slope. "Aa- aah. Um, look out on the way down! It's a little dangerous…"
...Mako awkwardly stumbles down after her, using her staff as leverage to proceed.
Let's see what this fairy's up to.
Walking over to the table, I observe her snoring peacefully.
...Stepping back from the table, I awkwardly bring my leg up in an attempt to kick her-
Thunk. I hit the side of the table. Alright, once more…
Pap! I hit her in the side.
"Ohn…" Wiggling a little, she shifts… "Hwa~h…"
...After her yawn, she rolls onto her side and looks at me, blinking.
"Hello." I greet her.
...Saying nothing, she continues to blink at me.
...Maybe I should punt her again-
"Do you feel the way that I do?" She begins to sit up, asking me a question.
"Probably not, no." I point at the door. "Maybe you should leave."
"...Do you feel the way that I do?" She poses her question again, indifferent.
Floating up onto her legs, she looks around aimlessly.
…
"Who're you?" Vanilla questions her, approaching me clad in her iconic work outfit: a cape and panties.
"The blue sky…" Looking up at the ceiling, the fairy begins crying, for some reason. "It- it's so pretty…"
Okay, she's mentally insane. We have to put her out of her misery.
Looking back down at Vanilla, she sniffs. "I'm free."
"Okay…" Vanilla just blinks at her idly.
Hurry, before it breeds!
Drawing my iron scissors, I consider how to approach this…
...Holding her hands to her mouth, the fairy looks up again. "Hehehe~... I- I'm so happy…"
We're running out of time!
Climbing onto a chair, I get onto the table with her, and-
Shink! -awkwardly sink my blade into her neck. She doesn't react to me invading her personal space at all.
She freezes at the incision.
Shi- shink. Opening and closing the scissors, I begin to dig into her neck-
"Aa- aah…" Her eyes begin to flutter. "I'm… sinking. I-..."
Shu- shunk. My scissors begin to make weirdly heavy noises for digging into flesh-
FWUUUUUSH
/ / / / DO YOU FEEL THE WAY THAT I DO / / / /
We are all now soaked. The fairy instantly became a small outhouse's worth of water, and it pushed all the furniture around because it flooded the place. Fortunately, the water was only knee-high for a few moments.
After rearranging the tables, I stood behind the counter…
Vanilla wrung her cape out. "That was weird…"
Mako didn't care about being soaked, just staring into space next to us with her hood over her face, weighed down by the water it took on.
...Oh, right. The 'closed' sign got flushed onto its back by the water. I should go fix-
Boom, boom! ...There are explosions, in the distance. Maybe. That could also be gunshots-
Vrrrrrrrr! I hear the distinct roar of a Master Spark in the distance. Hmm.
"What about this place…?"
In through the door, comes one- two- four people, pretty much immediately. Okay.
The first one is scantily clad, and rather stout and petite. She has black gloves and boots on with pink accents, and she's holding the strings to a heart-emblem accented collar around her neck.
She's got a not-skirt which… transitions into panties or something covering her inner region. She also has pointy ears as well as what looks like cat ears, for whatever reason, and a corset-bra combo keeping her huge breasts contained.
"There's no one here…" She looks around almost numbly, with a small smile and relaxed eyes.
"Oh, why, that's perfect. It would only figure, I suppose."
Immediately behind her was a tall woman, with a long red and white-frilled dress, with black ribbons and sleeves. She had long, silver hair, done up in a ponytail on her left with two red orbs.
Behind her-... there's a purple-haired loli with two skulls for hair clips to hold up her twin tails. "Aa~h. Must be a~ rough day, as you said…" She's just got those silly bikinis that are literally only strings, like you see in hentai. Also, a skull-adorned choker. Good.
In their wake was a tall girl who simply had to be a vampire from the appearance she projected. She had short, bobby blonde hair, with some kind of flower design attached to a black hairbow. She had those ridiculously propped up collars some vampire tropes tend to have. In fact, her dress has a lot of autumn colors. For some reason, she's got gold chains decorating the bottom of her short dress, before it reveals complex stockings that might actually be really long boots.
"...Well, if we're to dine in a mud hut, it may as well be the muddiest hut of them all." The long-eared blonde vampire spoke very deliberately, giving me a narrow-pupiled scowl from across the room.
"The floor's we~t…" The skull-adorned practically naked loli looked down at her bare feet, holding a leg up.
"I~'m wet…" The other busty loli chimed in.
Not sparing her party members a glance, the neutral-looking silver-haired woman progressed towards me…
Everyone has red eyes except for the boobie loli, who has pink eyes. Also, heart-shaped pupils. Let's not stare into those for too long. Let's not stare into anyone's eyes, today.
As the silver-haired woman reached the counter, she took the second seat from the left, of my five available seats. "Hello~. How are you, today?"
Hmm. "Fine, thank you." I'll stare at the bridge of her nose. That'll show her. "...You four want anything today?"
"You." The big-chested loli stood up on the middle stool-
"Our bet excluded the barkeeper." The short-haired vampire whipped her head over at her, sitting to her left- or my right. "I won't reward you unless you meet my conditions, Anithrasi."
Anithrasi- the small but large-chested one- huffed. "Oo~h." Leaning forward, she seemed to deliberately place her bust on the counter. "Miste~r. Are you the barkeepe~r?"
I give her a nod.
I hear a tapping on the bar to the left of the most casual demonic invader-
The nearly naked flat-chested loli waves at me. "I love you, miste~r."
Fwish. Her eyes flash, but the woman in the long red dress springs to cover them before they can. Red magic visibly splashes out from behind her pale hand. "Now now, Arethiusei. Remember what I said about hypnosis magic."
"...Fine." Pouting, she puffs out her cheeks and folds her arms. "I know mister will love me too…"
...I look over at Vanilla, and just see her staring up at the vampire with raised brows.
...After a moment, the elder vampire sees her, and snorts. "Oo~h…? Oh, Lady Shinki, would you look at that? They apparently have naked vermin here, too. Except this one has to be an infantile vampire of all things…"
"Be ni~ce." Shinki waves at her casually. "You guys are a handful…"
...Leaning forward, the elder vampire grinned at Vanilla. "Am I in your territory? Fufufu~..."
...Vanilla just kinda presses back into the wall behind herself. "I- ah…"
'Lady Shinki' sighs. "Gabriela~."
Clack, clack, clack…
...Looking to the side, I see Shikome's voluntarily decided to come down and mingle. She's got Rumia under her right arm, too.
...Her presence attracts some stares, for a moment.
...The vampire looks ahead at me. "Barkeeper. Bloodied wine. And, if not, anything fine will do."
Cla- cla- clack. She deposits some round gold coins onto the counter. "This should pay for the beverages ten times over." Sure.
"Something bi~g." The loli to the left of 'Lady Shinki' requests. You shut up-
"Something that makes me feel floaty…" The big-boobed loli to the right of 'Lady Shinki' deliberately wiggles her chest. You can fuck off.
...I look at 'Lady Shinki'.
She waves her hand carelessly. "Aah. Anything's fine…"
...I turn to Vanilla. "Four fine wines."
"Aah- I… ri- right…" She seems to still be petrified by the elder vampire's gaze.
...Well then. It's Mako's time to shine. "Mako. Four finest wines."
"...Sure." Nodding, she romps past Vanilla… before looking up at me. "Which are those?"
"The grey bottles." I think. Whatever.
...Lowering her wet hood, Mako looked up at the drinks-
"Oo~h!" The lolis on the other end of the counter immediately cooed.
...Mako gave them a backward glance, before looking up at the drinks again.
Drumming her palms on the counter, the big-breasted one had her gaze fixed on her. "Wh- who is he…!?" He?
The flat loli stood up onto her stool. And… okay. She left a trail as she did so. "He… he looks like he'll make us fizzle…!"
"I like to fizzle…!" Big Breasts McGee leans forward, sinking into the counter. "Lady Shinki~..."
...Shinki just gave her a dry stare. "Why're you getting me involved?"
"You two would fuck anything with legs." The vampire grimaced at Mako. "...He's obviously holy elemental, if you pigs haven't been keeping with your senses."
"He's only barely holy~..." Looking over at her, the boob monster pouted. "Come o~n. I know you like little boys, Gab-ri-el-a."
"Don't make me have you hung again." Gabriella's grimace deepens at her cohort. "I came to discuss important realm matters with Lady Shinki, not impale myself on a cute- some holy fledgling's… rod." She seems to be more upset after awkwardly ending her sentence.
...Bringing the drinks over to the counter, Mako placed the bottles two at a time. "Here you go…"
The flat loli giggled loudly. "Hehehe! Bo~y. How about I pour you a drink…?"
"Sorry, I don't drink, I think." Mako shook… his head. Apparently he's a male…?
"Hehehe! You think…!?" Her face flushed already, the girl-
Pop! -popped open her bottle with her teeth, the cork falling into oblivion as she hastily poured a drink. "Here, here! Just drink it…!"
After splashing the liquid into the drink, she dipped her finger in it-
The previously vaguely maroon alcohol changed to an earth green tint, becoming cloudy. You know, I'm not sure about you, but-
Shinki swipes the glass before anyone can do anything to it, and drinks it herself. "Mmm…"
The flat loli deflates. "Awa~h. Lady Shinki~..."
...Setting the glass down, she looks down at the smaller girl. "No drink spiking, and especially no bacterial drink spiking. I wasn't gonna say anything about a love mix, but nothing messy, alright?"
...Taking her own bottle, Shinki pauses before opening it. "Last thing I need is to get my ear talked off for plaguing the village during a brief joy trip."
"What's so ba~d about a little… little things?" The loli smiled up at her. "They never did anyone any little harm… anyone who's anyone- hehehe- anywa~y…"
I'm pretty sure these two lolis are already drunk.
...Setting down her bottle, Shinki put her finger inside the small glass the loli afflicted-
Fwoom! A jet of flame rushes from her finger, cleansing the inside. "If I sense a single microbe of one of your little friends in this realm, I'm turning you into a rock."
"Aww~..." Defeated, the loli slouched into the counter. "You're no fu~n, Lady Shinki. But alright…"
"Lady Shinki knows be~st…" The big booby loli nodded at this notion.
...The vampire apparently had a wine glass, now. She must've brought that on her own.
Twirling it around after sipping from it, she kept her gaze on Vanilla.
In the past few moments, Vanilla's only fidgeted a few steps, tilted awkwardly to the side as she steals glances at the elder vampire.
"...Little one." Gabriela tries to get Vanilla's attention.
"A- ah…?" Vanilla looks over at her.
"You should feel honored I'm in no position to act, despite our proximity." Holding up her wine, she twirled it about again, preparing to sip. "...A stomping ground such as this is simply ripe and rich with resources. I could see myself building a castle here."
"They don't have the materials home does." Shinki lowers her bottle, having just been casually chugging it in the background. "Nothing fit for our… more creative projects."
"Then we import them. Simple." Gabriela smirked across the counter at her. "Did that not occur to you?"
"We're not here to be rude, now." Shinki gave her a grin. "I'm pretty sure replacing the village with a castle is some form of disrespect." No building castles on my lawn.
"...Who may I talk with regarding that?" Scowling, Gabriela gestured forward to Vanilla. "Her?"
Shinki suppressed a giggle. "Heavens, no. I'll show you to her so you may make your own judgments later, but keep in mind she doesn't preside within the realm itself the majority of the time. Rather… on the boundary between."
"...Hrmm. Very well." The vampire nodded at her glass. "This realm is a mess."
Blimp boobs turned to her. "Aww, Gabby. There's so many nice boys, though…"
"Do they have that thing called a 'school'?" The flat-chested one spoke up from her seat. "I wanna see~..." That's a crime.
"No." Shinki flatly refuses her.
...Stepping up to the vampire, Shikome looks up at her.
...After a moment, the vampire glances over at her, staring down.
"...Aren't you a little rascal?" The vampire sipped from her wine… "...Tastes like scum. Anyway-..." Focusing on Shikome again, she waved her hand dismissively. "Go on, then."
The boob zone sat up in her seat, greedily gulping from her bottle. "Mmgh- mghk- nnh…"
Parting it from her lips, she let a margin of it pour over herself before setting it back down. "Ehehehe~..."
...I glance at her as she does this, so she instantly turns herself to me and tries to sit up higher repeatedly, jiggling her breasts in the process. "Aw- loo~k. I'm all~ messy…"
...I don't respond, looking away.
...At my non-response, she huffs. "Come o~n. Little boy, over the~re…!" Pointing a finger at Mako repeatedly, she calls for him. "Little bo~y!"
...Mako's not particularly paying attention, just kind of staring at the counter.
Growing frustrated- probably- she starts to climb onto her stool. "Gee~z…!"
Shikome steps up behind her, looking up at her.
"Over he~re!" She calls down at Mako, waving an arm as obnoxiously as possible. "Little-"
Shink!
Shikome's now on the stool behind the probable succubus, her arm sticking out of the being's chest, beneath her breasts. Cyan, pink liquid combined with foggy black roll out from within the succubus, dissipating into the air…
"Hu- hiiaa~...?" Eyes slightly wider than her usual relaxed, teasing expression, the pink-haired girl let out a hollow, irritating noise.
...Clack. Darting off of the stool, Shikome held up the being's heart. It was composed of many navy orbs, attached by some kind of crimson gel.
Thu- bam! Falling back down into a sitting position, the boob loli's head slammed against the counter. Well then…
"Fu- fufufu…" The vampire failed to repress a giggle. "...That was going to happen, eventually."
Chomp. Shikome sunk her teeth into the gooey organ, her eyes narrowing…
I should probably stop her. "Hey, don't eat the customers." For some reason, this feels awkward to assert. "Put that back."
...Shikome tears off a chunk-
Fwoo~f. From the cyan chambers of the succubus's heart, some kind of maroon gas rolled out-
Fzz~! Pink, sparkler-like particles began emitting from within the popped sacs, some of them curving to form heart shapes as they leave the organ-
Shikome stuck the heart back into the being's chest, expression sour.
After she re-inserted it-
"Hia- hoo- hroa~h!" Jolting back up from the counter, a split in her forehead where her skull hit the counter, the succubus jerked her body around. "Hiaa~ hahaha~!"
"O- oh, no…!" Mako raises his staff, looking up at her in vague alarm. "He- heal!"
Di~ng. A small, floral pattern forms around her form-
Fwoa~sh. Her form lights up with healing energy-
"Hoo- hiiooa~!" It didn't seem to benefit her too much, at the moment. "Heuh- hii~-"
Kri- krick- krack- cra~ck. The gooey hole of viscous flowing liquid begins to close, sharp black latex-esque bonds connected her innards back together, as her skin seems to meld with the cyan crap to build her skin again.
Thud. Slamming her arms on the counter, she breathes in and out. "Hea~h. Ha~h…"
Di~ng. Mako casts that healing spell again, the floral pattern lighting up around her.
Fwoa~sh. She's healed by some kind of light, but doesn't seem to acknowledge it. "Haa~h… nnh-..."
Whirling around on her stool, the succubus slouched to be as level with Shikome as possible. "He~h he~h he~h! Very nice gelati~n, ain't it…!?" Her voice was abnormally high-pitched and raspy, for some reason.
...Shikome's face was still sour, brows furrowed slightly and lips slightly puckered.
...Whirling around on her stool again, the loli looked around with wide, neon pink, luminescent eyes. "He~h- akh…" Holding onto one of her boobs, then her upper chest, she took the wine bottle-
"Gkh, ngh, mmh…" -and began chugging it greedily.
...Once she was done, she tossed it behind herself-
Cra~ck! It shattered behind Shikome.
"Aa- aah…" The loli's voice was back to normal. "The~re we go… jus' needed a lil drinkie..."
"Disgusting." Shikome shook her head at the flavor.
...The vampire took a glance back at Shikome, before grinning. "Strange girl…"
"Loose sluts all taste disgusting." Shikome insults the succubus before herself.
"Aa~w, light'n up…" Pursing her lips, the succubus looked back at her. "...You took a bite outta me~, and you're still sane…" Looking back forward, she starts to glance at Mako. "Gabby's ri~ght. You are strange…"
"Perhaps she isn't sane." Gabriela smirked at her cohort. "I had no idea your reach was so limited."
...Anithrasi McBoobs pouted at her. "You kno~w what I mean, Gabby. Beastie takes a bite, an' then beastie wanna fuck. An' fuck, an' fuck, an' fuck… and they don' stop until they stop."
"You've ruined more than one of my dinner parties this way, yes." Exhaling, the vampire began to scowl at her again.
"Ehe, he, he…!" Giggling in her usual tone, The Great Boobsy turned her sultry gaze fully to Mako. "An', this boy, he helped me…"
"How amusingly unwise of him." Gabriela looked for the frown that would make her face look the longest. "And, cute…" The frown started to crack a little.
"Maybe we sho' help him…" Rapping her gloved fingers on the desk, Thomas Booberson began to adjust the way she was leaning into the counter, to emphasize her breasts again. "He looks li' he could use it…"
...Shinki's staring at me, for some reason. I stare back.
She darts her gaze to Mako, then to me… and after a moment, to GiantTitsMcGits and back to me.
Hmm. Wonder what she's trying to tell me.
"Ye~s. Let's help him…" The flatter loli of the two shifted about on her stool. "Bo~y…!"
"Little bo~y!" Tig 'Ol Bitties called for him-
"Bo~y!" Areth- Ar-... Ares, the loli of the flat chest war, called for him again-
"What's his damned name…?" The vampire gave me a tired glare.
Ares, god of war. "Mako."
"Mako~!" They began calling for him using his actual name-
"Huh- whah…?" Mako actually begins to pay attention, now. "Wh- what do you-"
"We wanna help…!" Boobastic girl begins to crawl onto the counter-
Click. -spilling her booze in the process.
I don't know when, but the flat-chested one just appeared behind the counter next to him. "Hi~, miste~r. I love yo~u…"
"A- aah, aah…!?" Mako seems bewildered.
That's it. I'm gonna need me mallet.
...I look over at Shikome, who's just eying the vampire and Shinki…
"U- um…" Vanilla looks over at the flatter abomination. "Yo- you can't-"
"What can't we do?" Suddenly, the vampire was behind the counter too, looming down on her. "If-"
"Come back here." Shinki spoke three words.
The two who had infiltrated the counter are now back in their seats.
"..." Smiling at me and Mako, Shinki leaned onto the counter… "I'm sorry to ask this of you, but…"
"Forty thousand yen for an hour." I request significant figures. "...Per participant."
...Shinki considered this. "Hmm. Sure." Oh. "I didn't realize this was that sort of establishment. Clever marketing- where might the room be?" She asks this question as her loli companions practically salivate next to her, bringing their arms around her back…
"Upstairs and to the le- right." I advise them-
Behind the counter again-
"Hup!" Booby loli picked up Mako with both arms, and began carrying him off over her head. "You're comin' with me…! Hehehe!"
"Wait up…!" The flat one launched off the counter and glided after her-
Cla- clack, clack clack! They ended up launching away some of the plywood as they roared upstairs.
…
Shinki turned to the vampire.
Gabriela was already staring at her.
"...I can cover you too, don't worry." Shinki's smile was carefree.
"I'm not commanded by my hormones." The vampire narrowed her eyes at her. "We came here for business."
"What's in an hour, anyway?" Shinki ignored her assertion. "Have fun. It's really no different to the treating during political negotiations back at home. Just… a little less fancy."
…
Woosh! She glided off towards the plywood slope, before whirling up into the hole more like a blob of dark than anything remotely human.
Letting out a quaint chuckle, Shinki pulled out a coin purse. "Mmm, let me see…"
...Shikome stepped up beside Shinki.
...After a moment of digging, she looked down at her. "Oh. Aw, hello~..." Reaching out, Shinki ruffled her hair. "Aren't you adorable…?"
Shikome brought a hand onto her arm, and held on.
...Shinki tried to retract her arm, only to find it stuck. "Oh, she's quite strong."
fwish. Shinki's hand phased through Shikome's, becoming free. "There we are. Now-"
Shikome grabbed onto it again, trying to pull it back-
The arm shot back up into the air, Shikome's fingers slipping off of it as it moves at a speed I couldn't read, let alone see a blur of.
"He~y." Shinki gave her a pleasant stare. "Beha~ve. I'm just-"
Shikome grabbed onto her torso, and tried to pull her from the counter-
The stool slid along with them instead. Shinki ends up dropping the coin purse on the counter…
...Taking this moment, I immediately look inside of it-
There's nothing in there.
...Kicking the stool out from under herself, Shinki tried to turn to Shikome-
Because of her grip, the death loli swung around on the woman's waist.
"Pfft- hehehe…" Shinki was amused. "Alri~ght, you need to get off, now…"
...Grabbing onto Shikome with one arm, she tugged-
Fwoom! A shockwave of air came off of them from the separation. For some reason, Shinki's dress seemed to contract to resist Shikome's grip.
...Shinki held Shikome before herself, by the back of the loli's kimono.
Setting the loli down beside her, she continued towards the counter again. "Now, as I was-"
A tendril moves to wrap around Shinki's form-
fwoam. Shinki slips right through it, her form bending and melting into black to slide through it, before reforming the next instant.
From beneath Shinki, a tendril attempts to slide up into her midsection-
Clack. Shinki steps on the tendril-
Crack! The floor cracks beneath her boot, the tendril still moving to run against the wood.
Shinki held an arm down towards it-
Thunk. Shikome's tendril plopped against the ground, writhing in an attempt to move, but unable.
"...There." Shinki smiled. "Gravity is harsh, yes?"
Thu- thunk. Shikome's knees buckled, leaving her kneeling on them as she tried to right herself…
As fun as this is… "Stop harassing our customers." I recommend to Shikome.
I look over at Shinki. "Don't break shit."
"Sorry~." She gave me a carefree wave, before picking up her empty coin purse again. "Alright, let's see…"
...Then, she looks up at me. "I didn't convert my money into yen. And…"
Leaning forward a little, she glances at the plywood slideway to the next floor. "If they've taken a liking to him, they might want to keep him, you know. So, I'll pay for damages preemptively…"
Thu~nk. A gold bar falls from her coin purse, landing cleanly on the counter. Oh.
...I look up at her. "We'll need a replacement too, you know."
"No problem." She waved her hand. "Leave that to me." ...Should I, now.
…
So, there's just a gold bar on my counter, now.
...I try to pick it up, but it's pretty heavy.
"Nn~h…" Shikome struggles against gravity in the background.
"G- go- kaugh- go in…" I think our sentry guards are dying. I only hear one anymore, and he doesn't sound long for this world. Maybe we should feed them.
A brown-haired girl with a black hat, skirt, and white dress walks inside. Oh, right, this is that Renko girl. What is she doing here.
...Panning her gaze around the deserted bar, she steps forward towards the counter. She pauses before the struggling Shikome, however.
"You know…" Focusing on the struggle, I speak. "It'd be nice if gravity stopped thrashing her."
"Oh, sorry." Shinki held a hand up-
Bam! Shikome leapt off the floor and hit the ceiling with her back.
...Clack. After falling back down, she lands on her legs, glaring at Shinki as she stands.
Skirting around her, Renko proceeds to the counter, and takes a seat at one of the stools. "Hmm…"
"Hi." I greet her.
"I didn't know you ran a… bar." She gave the drinks behind me a stare. "How've you been doing?"
...Compared to the guests we just had, this is relatively underwhelming. "Good."
…
I don't think Shinki's even touched her alcohol. She seems to be thinking… and staring at me as she does so-
Shikome's tendrils wrap around her again-
...She ends up pulling herself along by tugging on the woman. How powerful is this Shinki supposed to be?
"Aah…" Renko takes in the visual. "...Oh."
"...I see you find yourself around a lot of women." Shinki considered my company. "Not that Gensokyo is very kind to the notion of males."
"Yeah." I shall accept this mundane small talk. "I'm surrounded by lolis. I just can't get away from them. At this point, I may as well just become one myself."
…
"Hmm." Shinki considered my words as Shikome pulled herself to her for a hug.
"You know…" Standing and leaning over the counter slightly, Shinki's smile becomes a smirk. "We could make a deal."
A deal, huh. "...A deal?"
"Yes." ...She glances at the anklebiter giving her a hug, before focusing on her fully. "...Your draining atmosphere doesn't work quite well as you thought it did, hmm? Don't worry. I'm an exception to many rules, you'll find."
...Shikome doesn't respond, climbing higher up her back.
"In any case…" Ignoring her, Shinki centers her gaze on me again. "It's a rather simple proposition. For one soul, I'll transform you into a 'loli', as you put it." ...Oh.
...Reading my masked inexpression, she shifts her posture. "It doesn't have to be your soul. I'm pretty sure that boy's upstairs will suffice. Not that we wouldn't have ended up taking him anyway, but this is a little more formal, you know?"
"Am I witnessing a deal with the devil…?" Renko grinned at the proceedings.
"...Well, yes." Shinki confirmed this. "Do you want one?"
"...No." Renko declined. "I think I'm good."
…
She may be powerful, but it's a little whimsical to be able to just… change someone's form. "I'd like to see you try."
At that, she took pause. Only for a moment, but she'd seemed to freeze after I said that.
Then, she began to move from her stool. "As you wish. Do you want me to do it right now, or somewhere private?"
Why. "If you can really do it, just do it right now." I'd rather not be ganked in a back alley.
...Speaking of lolis, Shikome's still hitching a ride on Shinki for some reason, and Vanilla is just…
Glancing over at her, I see she's just been randomly changing her position slightly every now and then. That other vampire's presence has got her really bugged out.
...Shikome begins to run her hand up, sliding it towards one of Shinki's breasts-
Shi~ng! A grey, sharp spike from her boob rips through the dress, impaling Shikome's hand.
...Despite this, Shikome continues to try and grope with the spike midway through her hand, uncaring-
Fwoamp.
Oh, okay. My vision shifted randomly for a moment…
"Ow…" Renko blinked her eyes. "Was that you?"
Shinki was no longer in Shikome's embrace. "...Oh." She slowly turned to Renko. "Do you mean me?"
Looking down, I see Shikome on the floor behind the counter, looking dizzy. "Nngh…"
"A- ah…" Her vision correcting, Vanilla moved towards her slowly and stiffly. "He- hey…"
"Couldn't've been me~..." Shinki holds her hands up innocently. "Certainly."
"For some reason, I don't believe you…" Renko doubts her innocence is as it seems.
...Once the situation has been quiet for a few moments, Shinki smiles at me. "Are you ready?"
When she puts it like that, this might not be-
She snaps towards me, colors splaying the air-
FWOAM
/ / / / MAGIC HOUR / / / /
'Let's see~...'
This was really not a good idea. Really, really not a good idea. All I can see is black, with some vague hints of what I think are color-
'Please cooperate.' I hear Shinki, somewhere. '...Thinking quickly will just make this take longer.'
I try to speak, but nothing comes out. What the hell is-
I- I can't-
How can mind-
stiff and dark
…
/ / / / MAGIC MINUTE MORE LIKE / / / /
fwoa- wohwahwaw…
My head's spinning…
Fuck. Ouch… what the hell- where did this headache even come from…
What was I doing?
...Looking around, I see… a bar counter, rather large. It's almost as tall as me.
The colors of my vision come align properly, so my sight returns to… being as bad as it normally is.
Vanilla is kneeling next to Shikome nearby, peering down at her. "Are you okay…?" For some reason, she's comparable in size to me. As in, she's half as tall as me while crouched, about.
Where-
I'm in the bar, and I just…
I look up at Shinki. She's behind the counter now, smiling down at me. "My~. You came out rather cute." Compared to my height now, she's pretty fucking tall.
"Wha- what the hell-..." Oh. Nice voice. Fuck. I'm as tall as a loli, I sound like a loli…
My arms-... are in sleeves way too big for them.
...Awkwardly, I use my sleeved hands to remove my oversized fedora, when I realize I feel something on the back of my head.
Sliding an arm through one of the suit sleeves- and discovering my slim hands and black nails, I run them back through my… long black hair.
"What the he~ll!" My yell carries no weight, because I just sound like an irate loli. Probably because I am.
"Fuhehe…" Bringing a hand to her mouth, Shinki stepped back, leaving the counter. "Well? Are you satisfied, barkeeper?"
"Oh my go~d…" Renko looks positively baffled. "...You- you just…!"
"Mnn~..." Stretching, Shinki sighs. "It felt good to be a little creative again. I need to get back into hypnotizing people the hard way, and the likes. It's been too long, you know?"
...Marching around the counter just so I could get a good focus on her, I did my best to look positively enraged. "I didn't think you actually could change me!" This is a fun voice, though. Just not for being me. "I-... I like… being me!" Alright, what the hell was that.
"And you are, and you're beautiful." Shinki nods at me with a smug smile. "...But, if you're not satisfied… don't blame me. You can blame…" She places a finger to her lips. "Well, I guess you can blame me. Hehehe!"
Fwoom! In a swath of green fire from Shinki's hand, she displays some parchment to me. "Here's the soul contract for your Mako. I'm giving it to you to read, for now. If there's any inconsistencies, let me know."
...Once I accept the contract, I try my best to rip it.
...Shinki's stare becomes dry. "It's corrupted paper. Only the most evil kind of paper, you know. It also happens to be better than regular paper in every way, including durability and preservability. Fuhehe~..."
"Nnn~...!" My noises of struggling to rip the paper are not meant for mortal men, apparently. Holy shit.
...Renko leans against the counter. "Wo~w. This is pretty amazing, isn't it, Merry?" The girl who is not here right now, yes.
...I also can't read this contract. This isn't even Japanese. What the hell is this.
"I- I can't read it…!" Why, voice, why do these things to me. I need one of those Darth Vader voice changer helmets, now. And some stilts. Fuck.
...Shinki pouts her lips at me. "Well, that's too bad, isn't it? Find a loved one who can."
This is Eldritchenese. I don't think there's anyone on this mortal plane who can read what you've written here.
...Also, these pants are too big. Whatever, maybe Shikome can look it over, since she's part Eldritchenese herself.
Navigating around the counter in my big dumb dress shoes, I make my way towards the two lolis…
...Vanilla looks over at me, and blinks. "Ah. Um…?"
"Hi." I greet her plainly. "...Yo- you, um, know when Shikome'll be getting up?" Where did that 'um' come from. Ums get out.
...Vanilla looks down at her, then up at me. "No?" Good.
...Kneeling down next to the fallen loli myself, I awkwardly fight my sleeves to hold the oversized parchment over her. "Ah- um…" Cool voice. Alright, take two. "Shi- Shikome~." Good enough. "Can you-... help me read this?"
She blinks at the air a few times. Hmm.
"Shikome~!" Why do I stress the 'e' at the end of her name. "Help me read this…!"
...After a moment, she abruptly sits up, staring forward.
The movement makes me awkwardly shift to the side, since she would've clipped my parchment. Actually no- maybe that's a good thing. Time to hit her over the head with the contract until she eats it-
She takes the contract from me with one hand, before looking at me.
…
…
She just kind of blinks, unreacting. Yeah.
...After a moment, she leans towards me and takes a sniff.
I point at the contract. "De- destroy~ i~t…" Christ.
She doesn't seem to register what I said, just kind of staring at me.
"The- the contract, break i~t…!" I point at it repeatedly. Please help.
Vanilla adjusts herself to be closer to us, reaching for the contract. "I- I'll help…!" She begins to tug on it uselessly to try and rip it…
...Shinki's holding a hand over her face, hiding a beaming grin. Yeah, fuck you.
Has Vanilla even connected the dots yet, or is she just helping me to help a fellow loli? Jesus Christ, I'm a loli now.
And- oh.
Shikome tilted forward and licked my cheek.
"Our Father..." Shikome seems to recognize me, at least.
No one is sane anymore. Everyone I thought was sane happens to be the opposite of sane. Well, Shikome was always insane, but some other individuals here this evening have defied my expectations.
"You- you had a dad…?" Except for Vanilla. At least Vanilla's consistent.
...Shikome looks down at the parchment, but doesn't reply.
Looking slightly baffled, Vanilla looks over at me, scratching her cheek. "He- hey, Shikome's… dad?"
Mmm. "I- I'm Matt, you…" Wait, have I ever told her my name? Maybe. Even if not, there's only one of our loli group that could have once been an unassuming guy named Matt.
...After blinking for a moment, her eyes widen. "Woa~h! Wha-... did she do that to you!?" She points at Shinki, who waves.
Wow, you're attentive. "No~."
...At that, she lets her arms go limp and she just kind of stares at me.
"Yea~h. I mean- yes." I amend my previous answer.
"So, this contract…" Looking down at it, Vanilla realizes what's going on. "I'll help you!" So we got nowhere, in the end.
Standing up, Vanilla moves to karate chop the contract. It doesn't do anything.
"Hnn~...!" Looking focused, she brings a leg back and-
Pap. -tries to kick the contract with a bare foot, but it just ripples as if a breeze hit it. "No…"
…I don't even know if destroying the contract reverts me, so this might just be a total waste of time.
"Oh, by the way…" Shinki leans over the counter. "You could use this…"
Clack. Something lands behind me.
Looking behind myself, I see a brown suit hung up on a very dinky-looking but well-weighted rack, with a black skirt included.
"It's a suit!" Shinki explains the obvious. "There's a cute hair pin in the front left breast pocket for you. Also, a pocket mirror! Aren't I considerate?"
I will poison your wine. Not that anything will kill you. The one person to wrong me has to be some indescribably powerful deity, naturally.
...Although, this is an alright-looking substitute to my suit, if a little brighter than I'd prefer.
My mask is on the floor around where I'd turned into a loli, probably having fallen off because of my change. I don't really need it anymore, since my face is likely totally different.
Digging into the suit's breast pocket, I drew the shiny brass, locket-esque pocket mirror, folding it open.
...Well. I have very neat looking black hair, which seems to go down past my butt. My eyes are also red, which won't make village life easy, but is also fun at the same time. Also- I'm a loli.
"Fu~ck." ...Must I stress every sound at the absolute worst time?
...Standing up, Shinki snaps her fingers once, energized. "Alri~ght. You know, this outing was more fun than I expected." Glad you enjoyed it. Never come back.
"I knew you'd enjoy it." ...Yukari's in the seat next to her. Oh, hi. "So, what do you think of… her?"
"Oh, she's a darling." Shinki beamed at me. "...Did I win that bet?"
"Yes, yes, quite." Yukari rolled her eyes. "You may set up your little hell portal, for some time. If it becomes too intrusive, however, I'll send a nuke through, with a sternly worded letter taped to it."
"Don't worry." Giving her a wave, Shinki shifted for the plywood staircase. "I'll plan it out responsibly. I'll keep our portal in a castle chamber, so only a few entities may slide at a given point, and only ones I authorize. Well, unless they're coming in from this realm, but that is no problem."
"Alright…" Yukari waved at her as she left. "Do take care, now."
...Pausing, Shinki looks back at us. "Oh, right. Replacement staff, as compensation…"
Vhir- vhir. Extending her arm outward, two red pentagrams draw on the floor before herself…
FWOA- FWOA~M!
...After their loud, blindingly bright initializations, there were two women left, one in each circle. They were girls, slightly taller than the average height of our lolipalooza.
...Considering Mako was a boy, I might be right in assuming these are also boys.
One is a girl- seemingly- with long, blonde hair, a single very tiny red ribbon in her hair, to the front. "Aa~h…" She turns back towards us. "...Whah?" She's got a sort of white and pink dress on.
The second 'girl' has two shoulder-length, fluffy twintails, two sort of goofy bat wings on her back, and a Japanese schoolgirl uniform. "...Oh, wo~w. Who the hell summoned-"
"Me." Shinki stated plainly. "...You both turned around without looking at me?"
...The two girls pivoted away from us and towards Shinki, before flinching back. "A- ah! Lady Shinki!"
"Now, before you girls go panicking…" Shinki held up a hand neutrally. "You are here to serve… her." Shinki points at me-
My form lights up as if a lightbulb lit up over it. Okay.
...The girls look back at me.
...Poofy twintail girl blinks a few times. "...Did- did we get summoned by a bunch of sexy lolis…? Er- summoned by Lady Shinki to serve sexy lolis…!?"
"What kind of illusion is this…!?" The blonde-haired girl began looking around frantically. "There's no way Lady Shinki would-"
Fwaomp. Something happened beyond comprehension, the girls ceasing to panic.
"...Ah, right." The blonde girl stared at us with more confidence, now. "Hehehe~. This is almost too good to be true…!"
Nodding, Shinki floated up towards the hole in the ceiling. "Now, if you'll excuse me… I'll have to round up my company."
I look back for Yukari, only to find her gone. That's nice.
...Renko's still here, though, just kind of watching everything. She's staring at me, sort of examiningly.
So. That leaves us with… a gold bar- which is practically infinite money in the village- two things Shinki left us, three pirate doubloons… and me stuck as a loli.
...Parting her gaze from the parchment, Shikome looks at me with a smug face. Why's she smug?
"Quite unprecedented... yearning for something so vacuous... and cute..." Uh oh. I'm on the fence as to whether being cute or not is a good thing- I don't think that's a good thing personally.
Folding up the parchment, she casts it back onto the counter behind us, before proceeding towards Vanilla. "Juvenile wi-... Vanilla..."
Closing the remaining distance, she gets into Vanilla's personal space...
"...Only mine." Shikome leans around her head-
"Aa- aah…!" Vanilla's arms come up and to her sides as Shikome nibbles on her ear. "...Aa~h…!"
Retracting her head, Shikome stares at her simply. "Does it feel good?"
...It takes Vanilla a moment to collect herself. "We- well… it- it tickles, and… yeah, I guess-"
Gingerly proceeding forward, Shikome tips Vanilla over before almost falling onto her. "Aa- waah…!" Vanilla lands softly, the exchange almost soundless.
Well. That's nice and all, but I'm still small.
...Glancing over at Renko, I see her just sort of staring at the interaction, sort of numb about the whole thing.
...After a moment, she turns to me. "You know, I feel like I've walked in on something, even though I've just been sitting here."
"Wa- wanna buy something…?" It is hard not to sound like a loli when you are, in fact, a loli.
"Oh…" She looks at the drinks. "Uu~m. A… water?" Good. You want a water, huh.
...Looking back at the shelves, I realize I left the stock glasses a little high on the shelves for the new me. Son of a bitch.
I pan my gaze to Shikome, who seems to be passionately pressing her face into Vanilla's.
...Moving around the bar counter, I obtain one of the stools, bring it to the shelf, and stand on it.
There. Glass obtained. I have danced the song and dance.
Bringing it under the table, I reach for the water scissors on one of the thankfully lower shelves, and bring both beneath the counter. Not that the secret probably matters, since Renko's a fellow scissors entrepreneur.
"You better not be filling that the way I think you're filling that." Renko gives me a faux dry stare, visibly trying not to grin.
She initiated the joke first, somehow. "Yea~h, I'm filling it with my pussy juice."
Renko snorts. "Glad we're on the same page, then. Here I thought I was going to embarrass myself. My setup was terrible..." Looking to the side, she seems to whisper something.
...Once the glass is filled with energy conservation-defying water, I place it on the counter.
...Renko takes it and starts drinking it without paying. I think she knows how it's made anyway. Maybe I could say it's a 'glass usage' fee. I should charge her tuition. Taxes and fees.
Those two women Shinki summoned into here finally decided to join us and stop gossiping amongst each other.
The blonde-haired one gave me twin peace signs with her fingers. "Thalli~. Call me Tay." What.
The twin-tailed one kneels down, giving me a wide, warm smile. "Isami~. You're pretty cute, you know?" That's nice.
...Since it's morning, I should be on the lookout for Aiko. That'll be a fun time. First, I should get this oversized suit off, in some other room-
As I move past them, the twin-tailed girl grabs my arm. "He~y. Where're you going…?"
"Busine~ss." I am going to rip my vocal cords a-fucking-sunder. Also, get off of me-
When I tug on my arm, Isami tugs back. "Hehehe~. You're just, too cute…"
"What's with you?" I try to tug again-
"I think I like you…" She tries to wrap her other arm around mine-
Crack!
"Hee~!" Isami squeals, her hand bent backwards. "Huhaha~ oww~!"
Shikome had a tendril around her hand, bending it backwards farther than a hand should. "Faha- aanh- awaa~h!" Gritting her teeth, Isami let go of me, stumbling back. "Nn- ohw- ow…!"
Once she bumps into the counter, Shikome retracts her tendril, leaving the girl to nurse her splintered, ripped and exposed wrist; flesh and bone visible from the snapping region.
"You shall not gratify your complacency, hellion." Shikome's still on top of Vanilla, just looking up at the girl.
"Aah- ow ow ow- fuck…" Sliding onto her butt, the girl began crying, staring up and gritting her teeth in pain. "Fff~... Aaaa~h! Fuck!"
The blonde girl stumbled back, laughing. "Pfft- hahaha~! Ha- ho- what…! What happened!?"
"Baa~h!" Isami thrust her splintered wrist towards her. "Bitch!"
"Hehahaha~!" 'Tay' shakes her head, grinning. "You stu~pid…!"
Well. I think I'll leave them to sort out their differences, then.
Oh, right, I need my suit to be able to change into it. Let me just…
/ / / / TEN PARAGRAPHS OF PUTTING ON CLOTHES LATER / / / /
This feels weird. Everything feels weird. It's a good suit, though.
I brush myself off, the brown suit on proper.
Rumia's floating just below the room's ceiling, a myriad of different kinds of buckets just kind of smashed into the hole that was made earlier. "...I dunno why I should fix this hole, new girl. I think it makes it easier to get in and out!"
"It might rain…" I will rip this voice to a thousand pieces and scatter it to the wind.
...Rumia looks down at me indifferently, before smiling widely. "That has nothing to do with what I just said!"
Floating down, she holds her arms out for some reason. "Walls're stupid."
Maybe you're stupid. "They keep your stuff contained and, like… keep you safe."
Rumia tilted her head at me, perplexed. "Whah? How?" Okay. "Why not get a funny box…? Or bury it?"
You know, I think this discussion is over.
...Ignoring her, I start to leave the room.
"Aw, come back…" Rumia floats after me slowly. "I get that you like walls! I'm sorry for making you mad…!"
No, it's done.
Moving through the intermediate room- and also noting how quiet the adjacent room is now- I proceed towards the plywood slope with my new attire donned. I just kind of slid the hair clip into my hair because I have no idea how you use girly accessories.
...Once I'm downstairs, I take a look around.
Isami's hand is somehow fixed, but she's sitting at one of the tables drinking a bottle of booze. "Mmgh…"
'Tay' was across from her, head propped on the table by an arm. "Oh, hey, she's back down…" She looks over at me.
...Vanilla was still lying on the floor past the counter, and Shikome for some reason is standing on the counter, staring at a portion of the room with no one. Next to Shikome was the gold bar, doubloons and- the soul contract was gone. Shinki did pose examination as a temporary process.
Renko's finished her water, and has just been looking around.
Aiko is here now. She's looking at the two new girls with her arms folded, blinking slowly.
Her gaze sets on me as I approach her. "...I've not been getting good answers. Where is my client?"
"Hey…" I give her a loli-wave, different from a normal wave. "That's me."
...She raises her brow. "You cannot be serious. If you're a messenger, it would do you a far greater service to show honesty."
...You know what, sure. "If that makes you happy, I guess. You'll still be getting money and stuff, with me."
"Very well." Unfolding her arms, Aiko nodded once. "...However, if he had any specific assignments for today, I am afraid to inform him and you that it isn't likely possible."
Say what now. "Wha- why?"
"...Those rowdy heroines as people call them came to the village, this morning." Idly, Aiko walked over towards the counter, so I moved with her. "They threw the village council, and seem to be in league to make reparations, as well as replace problematic council members. It is a fine pity that I hadn't polished plans to infiltrate there. I'm unsure of what wealth lies on that premise, but to mindlessly flail within would only get me deported effortlessly by the Hakurei and her goons."
...As she sat before Shikome, I took the seat next to her.
She looked down at the gold bar, before blinking.
…
"I remember him being smarter than this." Aiko reached down for the gold bar-
I put a hand on it, too.
...Looking over at me, she breaks her stoicism to give me a wide, furrow-browed grin. "I'll give you a few sentences to explain why you should have it over me."
"Matt- me, us, we were going to- ah- use it to…" Hmm. What could I use it for?
Aiko tugs on the bar. "...Well, if that's all you have to say about the matter-"
"You said the village council…" I start to speak. "Was like, um… under attack? They're kicking people out, right?"
...Aiko looks perplexed at my direction, her total grin dissipating a margin. "Well, yes. I fail to see-"
"Ho- how much do you think…" I tighten my grip on the gold bar. "What position do you think this would get us?"
…
Aiko reached a hand to me, and ruffled my hair. "I like your thinking, young one. We shall use this to initiate our plan. But what of the man?"
The man who is me. "I'll kill him." He's already dead.
Aiko snorted at my proposition. "...Well, if you're so sure."
...Reaching for her back, where her multitude of katanas were, she considered the bar further. "However, we should… divide it, perhaps. The council will likely jump at even a grain of gold, let alone a whole bar's worth."
You say that like it's easy.
Shi~ng. Drawing one katana, Aiko brought it down-
SHI- Thunk! She cleaved through the gold, the katana digging into the counter-
Thunk. She retracted it, the bar cut down the middle. The bar was angled wide for obvious reasons, so we had two rectangular chunks rather than two gold sticks.
"There…" She moved to sheathe her katana. "If you're so intent on this, we'll go now. Surely a plan as audacious as yours need no more consideration, with the resources available."
"...Su- sure." Well, it'd give me something to do. But, first… "You, um… have notoriety, right?"
"Big word, for you." Aiko gave me a smug, quaint smile. "I do. Have you heard of me?"
"That might… like, be a problem." I have a feeling… "Wouldn't the council recogni~ze you? If they saw you..." Slow down there, me.
...Aiko nodded. "Hmm. And that is a problem?"
For our intents and purposes, yes. Especially if any 'heroines' as they put it are still around. I don't think we will ever be in a position to fight Reimu or Marisa.
...Getting off of my seemingly large stool, I move to collect some old things of mine. "I- I think I've got an outfit for you. You'll have to put away your katanas, too…"
Aiko rolled her head back for a moment… before agreeing. "Very well. If anything's happened to them when we return, it is your life on the line."
"Follow me…" I gesture for her to come upstairs, while Shikome's still down here… admiring a wall, I suppose.
/ / / / THERE WAS A BOMB IN THE CATERING BOX SON / / / /
We were now outside the bar…
"Kau- kauf… nn- nnh…" The guards outside are dying. They look sad, and are having a hard time not falling over. "Go- go on in…"
...I glance over at the still mentally displaced Vanilla, as she sees us off. "You might wanna give them food and water stuffs while we're gone. 'Cause, they'll die."
"Ri- right…" Vanilla gave them a pitiful look. "I did this to them…"
Yes you did. Now…
Aiko was ahead of me, standing in the road with her arms folded again. She had my mask on now, but no hat; that would be suspect. She's also got my suit on, except she has modest breasts and longish green hair, so she's obviously not me. She's hidden her tail pretty well, and her ears are hidden by a rather fluffy hair band.
"...If you are ready, stop ogling me and follow along." Aiko beckons me, beginning to step ahead, her arms dropping to her waysides.
Once I move to keep behind her, Aiko begins to walk at her normal speed. "Let's not waste any time."
...I've also got my worn backpack on again, and now it's almost as big as my torso. The gold's in it, and it's pretty heavy. Not too heavy, at least, but still.
Now that I'm on the village streets again, everything suddenly seems a lot bigger.
…
As we make our way through the rather quiet square-
Boom, boom! Explosions echo in the distance, somewhere.
"As you may ascertain…" Aiko continues, ignoring the blasts. "Today likely wouldn't be the best of days to commit crime."
Is that so. Hmm.
The sun's rather bright, today. The guards that are normally on the streets don't seem to be stationed as they normally are.
...Ahead of us, six or so guards take position over one of the alleys. Aiko pays them no mind, and they don't so much as focus on us.
The men begin to aim their bows up, towards something in the sky. "Alright…" The one guy who isn't aiming props his arms on his sides. "When you see something, take the shot."
...Then-
Marisa walks out of the alley directly ahead of us, giving us a glance before aiming her mini-hakkero at the archer formation ahead-
Fwoom! A green starburst travels towards them.
They all jump, searching the sky. "Aah- what!?"
"Where is she!?"
Fwi- fwi- fwish! They shoot arrows into the air randomly-
Boom- fwa- fwa- fwash! The starburst exploded into a big, lasting blue orb of light, which knocked everyone over.
...Stepping towards them, Marisa calls out leisurely. "Almost hit me the~re! A little more to the left, and ya woulda had me, ze!"
Well then.
Ignoring that, Aiko continues ahead.
As we progress, we near the Kirisame magic shop, before taking an abrupt left down a large alley.
...A rather spiffy-looking large alley, actually. Some distance in, the dirt shifts to stone, and the houses… why, they're actually houses, instead of plywood huts. This is where we'll rob next. Maybe.
"The capitol is to the right." Aiko informs me, still pressing ahead. "At the end of the deviating road."
Okay. The village had a capitol for the council? I'd never realized this place had an actual government.
...Quickly, we get an eyeful of the capitol, approaching it.
It's full of holes, the front lobby was entirely removed- a cylindrical indentation in the ground replacing it- and, to be honest, it looks like it was out of place and ugly to begin with.
"...It's seen better days." Aiko states the painfully obvious.
"You sure 'bout that…" I sass her as we approach.
This building looks like it will have a rather bland interior.
/ / / / KNOCKIN' ON MY DOO~R / / / /
As we enter, the first thing I recognize is Reimu floating away from some people in the midst of the room. This might be more awkward than anticipated.
The second thing I recognize is what the hell is this interior design. The actual council seems to be on this huge round desk along the walls of the latter half of the room, way above the actual people down here with these dinky wood chairs.
Walking forward, I try to make out how to get up there. Genuinely, how the hell-
...Looking to the side, I see who Reimu was talking with.
Brad waves an arm at me, clad in a camouflage kimono thing. "Hello, friend!" Son of a-
Hold on. 'Friend'. He doesn't recognize me, does he?
...Looking back, Brad sees Aiko, looking her up and down. He's also got company with him: some yuki-onna and some girl with a staff and ugly neon clothes, a snowflake design on her undershirt beneath her beige vest.
Little does he know. Walking back towards Aiko, I notice she's sort of expectant, as if she knew I wouldn't find a way up from this venue. Good.
"Here." Reimu returns to Brad and his friends, and he takes his gaze off of us. "This is basically where I think you guys'll do best. Try to not screw it up too hard." She's apparently recruited them, or something.
...Back outside the main room, Aiko moves to the left. "This way. There's a staircase to the upper gallery doors." 'Gallery' is an interesting way to describe it.
It takes a moment of walking through quite wide, empty halls, but eventually we reach the top of the stairs and end up at one of the doors. There's more hallway ahead, but Aiko's not interested in it.
"Here." She places a hand on the door. "...Do you simply wish to-"
I twist the handle, and it opens. She retracts her hands with extreme speed, accidentally having pushed it open, almost losing her balance in the process. "...Apparently."
Ignoring her, I continue into the council room…
On the way in through this door, a one-armed man gives me a blank stare, leaning back in his chair.
...Moving past him, as well as past that one rather spent-looking guard captain that executed 'plan Kazami' on Shikome and me, we make our way towards the old-looking guy in the midst of the big desk.
While Reimu talks with Brad and his retarded friends, I'll do some negotiating with who is probably the chief.
...Up here, the chief turns to look at me, blinking. "...Those… eyes." He furrows his brows.
"I'd like a~ position." I probably could've done this better.
Aiko sighs next to me.
...The chief frowns. "This is the Hakurei's doing, isn't it? Well, if you seek control of our council, you must first take my life."
Thud. I drop the half gold bar on the desk before him.
...Nodding, eyebrows raised, he looks back over at me, sliding his hand onto the bar. "Oh- aah, yes, hrr~m…" He seemed to calm down, too. "...What position was it that you wanted, now?"
"Ahem…" Let's try this again. "...I believe you have a position for…" It really doesn't matter with this amount of money, so I'll just rattle off a common corporate position. "Chief Financial Officer?"
...Oh. Reimu's next to us, looking displaced and sort of flabbergasted.
"Ah, eheh, well, yes- yes, that, yes we might- we might be able to work something out…" Patting the gold bar, the chief addresses me properly. "We've recently had a vacancy in guard captain, so I don't think our… current chief of finances will be opposed to being relocated, not at all. He's very understanding, you know?"
"When'd this happen?" Reimu starts looking for answers. Watch her instantly guess every right answer, because Hakurei are hackers.
"Oo~h, this is my friend!" The chief totally bullshits the entire situation, waving at me. "She's a- she's a prime investor at the village, you see! Yes, we were just going over some deals we've had in the… in the running for a bit now, yes." Very much so.
...Reimu looks at me closely. The things I can do to you now that you don't recognize me. "Your eyes are red." Hmm. Oh well. She's friends with a lot of youkai, anyway.
"She's a fashion modeler, you know." I'm a what now. The chief smiles at me. "Like, a~... Margatroid, was it?" You're a fucking dumbass. "Moonlight?" Yes, yes, it was moonlight, sure.
...Reimu doesn't buy his shit.
Whelp, I might as well get my revenge now than later, then.
Leaning awkwardly over the desk, I reach for Reimu's soft breasts-
"What, no." She stops my hand offhandedly. "No seriously, when did this happen? I was gone for two seconds, and-..." Upon seeing the gold bar, her entire body flinches back, and she just sort of basks in its existence.
Also, I didn't get tried for sexual assault upon reaching for her breasts, for whatever reason. Is this… the power of being a loli?
"I am simply here to complete a transaction." The vigor I feel from my new lolism gives me the power to speak correctly without clearing my throat.
...Looking between me and the chief, Reimu sighed. "Fine. If I see or hear something weird, I'm gonna start asking questions." Naturally. I'd hate to play Wheel of Fortune with a Hakurei. They'd guess every word instantly because they're hackers.
Glancing at the ground floor, I see Brad and his hooligans begin to leave, after yelling at each other for a few moments or something.
...Now alone, we discuss our adult things.
Looking over at me, the chief nodded. "Our chief of finances isn't in right now, but I will let him know right away of the change that has taken place; you being the new Chief Financial Officer."
...Huh. So it really is that easy.
"Isn't there paperwork?" Reimu tilted her head. Please, no.
"Oh, right, almost forgot…" Scooting his chair back, the chief got out of it and crouched down. "Hrr~m, let's see…"
...After a moment, he brought out-
Thud. Sweet crunchy Christ. Well, that's paperwork, alright.
"Um…" He looks over the papers, looking lost himself. "...Umm…"
Reimu's brows are raised, and she just stares at the paper almost pityingly.
...Exhaling, I accept the first sheet-
-which is in Japanese. This is cool.
...I look over at Aiko. She looks down at me.
"I~ cannot read." I break the news to her.
Aiko sighs… "Are you… genuine?"
"What." Reimu looks lost, herself.
Hmm. Oh, right. "I- ahem, I forgot my glasses." There.
"Sure you did…" Aiko takes the first paper. "Here, let me…"
Reimu shakes her head. "Chief, do you ever let illiterate people into the council?"
...He sort of nodded and shook his head at the same time. "Eeh. Well. Yes?"
…Reimu just cups her face with her hands. "Nn~gh."
After staring at her anguish for a few moments, I formulate the perfect response. "Do not worry, Reimu~." Reimu~.
...She gives me a dry stare.
"I'm gonna make the human village great again!" I give her a loli thumbs-up.
Her expression is simply jaded.
"This page is explaining the procedures…" Aiko slides it aside, taking the next one. "...This one has you sign off on the procedures." Setting that one aside separate from the main page, she slides the third one out, and begins reading it. There's probably six hundred something pages, by the way.
The chief's just kind of staring into space. It's her turn now- and by her, I mean me. Who is technically a he. Although, now I am a she. He he. He.
…
"This page… it doesn't matter." Aiko damns one of the pages to hell, before sliding out another one. "...Another signature- chief, how much of this is important?"
"Aah, I dunno…" Good chief. "Uu~m, look for section A-T-H-V sub eleven-A. I think that was where they put the money guff."
...Deflating slightly, Aiko begins flipping through six hundred pages of indexless legal. She's probably going to need compensation for this.
/ / / / I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA / / / /
I scribble my signature on to the one hundred fiftieth piece of paper. Reimu, kill me, please.
Reimu's in a chair next to us, dozing as she stares at the ceiling.
Across the grand desk of people sitting still, Ken sat in some kind of demented, desk-like hoolahoop, dazed and beaten. Marisa had come back here earlier with him.
"Kill me, Reimu." I sign off my soul for the one hundred and sixty-fourth time.
"Nnn~h." She's dead.
Scribble scribble scribble. I slide the paper away-
"Here too." Aiko slides it back to me. Fuck.
...Scribble, scribble, scribble. My writing is slowly becoming that of a dementia patient.
...As I write on the one hundred seventieth page, the pen's quill runs dry for the millionth time. It's one of those old fountain pens, and it needs to burn in hell. First thing I do: invest the entire economy in inventing real pens. No food, no homes, no water; pens. We will be the most literate failing third world country. We'll get to read the works of Shakespeare as fluffy cat girls tear out our guts and dismantle our infrastructure.
If you couldn't tell, I'm bored off my ass.
...As I sign the one hundred ninety third paper, I cup my right, non-existent breast-
Oh. That's vaguely different from how it normally feels. Hmm. I wonder how my vagina feels. It does feel a little weird not having a dick. There's a slight weight missing, but at the same time you don't notice it.
What the fuck am I thinking about. As I sign the two hundredth sheet, I keep rubbing my breast-
"Stop playing with yourself." Aiko gives me a disapproving stare. "We're in public."
...Looking up at her, I grope myself more forcefully.
"...Don't blame me if it haunts you." She scoffs, and continues passing me sheets.
Some new guy walks in behind us, staring at the scene blandly…
Indifferent, I start kneading both of my plains-
Aiko grabs my pen hand, and brings it back to the paper. "Stop it, you horny little cretin. The sooner you're done, the sooner you can go deprave yourself in a public washroom or the likes." I'm bo~red.
Two hundred and ten. Fuck me.
"So…" I just realized that man is that Okita individual I met prior. Oh, right, wasn't he the financial person? Hmm.
"Ah…" The chief looks over at him. "Soji. You're the new guard captain!"
"Say what." He blinks.
"...This is the new Chief Financial Officer." The chief gestures to me.
Two hundred fifteen. These small plains are peculiar compared to my previous setup…
"I… see." Okita gains a jaded expression, a commodity around these parts.
I just remembered. Shinki left me a pocket mirror.
Taking it out of my breast pocket, I look at it. So that's what I felt there too…
I have a loli face. I start making loli faces.
"I beg of you…" Aiko sinks into the desk… "Be bloody serious you stupid little…"
I give her a blank stare. "Do you not want to be paid?"
…
She takes this moment to look at everyone present, before simply choosing to scowl at me-
Bringing a finger to her throat, the nail extends into a claw, and she drags it across her flesh, grazing it.
That's nice.
"...Do I still keep that stipend?" Okita questioned idly.
"Hmm? Ah, yeah." The chief waved him off.
"Cool." With that, he began walking over to the guard captain's chair…
The old guard captain was still there, with his arms folded. After a moment, he looked over at Okita-
Okita picked him up by his torso. "U~p you go."
"Hey- wha- let me down!" The captain began struggling, fighting Okita's arms-
"Hua~h!" The new guard captain simply tossed the old one over the desk, sending him hurtling to the floor.
Thud! He hit the ground some feet below. "Aau~gh!"
Okita took his chair politely, scooting in.
...The one-armed guy looked over at him, grinning. "Wha's good, mate?"
Okita gave him a nod.
"Nnn~..." Reimu rolled her head around lazily.
Bending towards me as she slid a new paper out for me to sign, she whispered. "If you so much as jest at me receiving no compensation again, I'll skewer you."
Oh, okay. Hmm. I don't think so. It'd probably be smarter to not test her, though.
"Absolutely none. No money." I shake my head at her again as I sign off the… I lost count. Let's say two hundred twenty.
Thunk. The desk makes noise as she passes another paper, her claws digging into it momentarily, before retracting.
I give her a small loli smile. "Let's skewer those claws on the carpet…!"
...Aiko just stares at me.
She slides over another applicable paper, before seemingly doing a one-eighty from her angry disposition earlier.
We should sing songs.
Hey Reimu, let me explore your soft, rich plains. Shrine maidens are holy.
Paper something something. I'm slowly going insane, here.
Si~gn, and si~gn, and si~gn… and si~ng! Sing the song of your people.
The shot heard 'round the world: it was the start of the revolution. Take your powder, take your guns; report to general-
"You can stop signing now." Aiko watches me sign the blank desk multiple times, no more papers left to sign.
I look at her. "Take your blankets, take your sons. Report to general lolita."
...She just blinks at me.
Thank fucking god.
...The chief's asleep. Reimu's asleep. A myriad of the council members- aside from the ones being held hostage here- are gone. Except for Okita, he's just been… doing papers of his own, or something.
Hmm. I should probably pay Aiko before she considers homicide as a viable alternative to my existence.
...Reaching into my pocket as I get out of my chair- awkwardly adjusting to my loli legs- I dig about…
Ah, there. Twenty grand yen.
Laying the twenty thousand down on the desk, I look at Aiko. "Pay."
...After a small delay, she takes the yen. "Appreciations."
...I walk over to the sleeping Reimu-
"He- hey, woah…" She snaps out of her daze as I near. "Stay back…"
No. I continue forward-
Her gohei meets my chest, pushing me back. I try to reach forward anyway, but my loli arms are shorter than my regular arms. That's going to take some getting used to.
...Looking over at the chief, she stands and starts shaking his shoulders. "Hey, hey. Get up…"
"Aah- hnnh…" He blinks his eyes open, looking around. "Aah…"
"I've finished my stuff…" I gesture to the signed papers. "Ahem. So-"
"Aah, good, good…" Standing up, he begins to hobble off. "Goin' ta bed…"
...Reimu watches him hobble off. "It's not even sundown yet…"
"Oh…?" He looks out one of the holes in the ceiling. "Ah. Coulda fooled me…"
...Well, then.
...I guess we'll go-
"Hey." Reimu steps towards us.
"What is it?" Aiko responds to her as we turn-
"If you guys don't do good things for the village…" The shrine maiden gives us a hard expression. "I'm kicking you out. Maybe more, if you hurt anyone."
Don't worry. Go do your shrine maiden things.
...Nodding superficially at her words, I turn-
Okita's there. "Hey."
"...Hi." I greet him idly.
"Stand aside, guard captain." Aiko tries to hustle him. "We are on our way."
He snorts at her. "That's nice. Well, while you're on your way out, I'd like a word with you."
That is nice. Let's book it. Run as fast as my loli legs can carry me.
Walking lazily towards the door, I see Reimu float off as the three of us leave the largely deserted village center…
In the halls and the proceeding staircase leading outside, Okita turns to us. "You don't have to worry about the underground stuff, unless you really want to. I'll keep up on the summary reports and the internal revenue surveys; the paperwork, basically. Taxes are routinely collected by village tax collectors; you don't really have to worry about them."
Well, good. "What do I do, then?" For curiosity's sake.
"I don't know. What did you join for?" He looks at me with a stoic face. "Finances, sure. If it's money, you could simply collect a stipend and manage the general tax legislation and be done with it. If you want to change how money works in the village or other laws, you can work towards that, but personally I've been more about the revenue myself."
Sounds fairly dynamic, but also like a huge time sink, considering how governments are.
"...Just don't step on my toes, yeah?" With that, Okita begins to walk ahead, giving us an idle wave. "I might not be the financial officer anymore, but I'm not letting anything get in my way."
That's nice.
/ / / / LOLIPALOOZA / / / /
Proceeding out of the stuffy neighborhood, we stop on the main street immediately outside…
The Kirisame magic shop is nearby. Hmm.
...I turn to Aiko as she tries to lead us away. "Hey, he~y. Hold on."
Stopping, she slowly turns to me. "What is the matter? Have you need to potty, now?"
Yes. No. I point at the Kirisame magic shop. "Rob this. I'll reward you."
"I've tried." Aiko admits. "Not particularly worth it. He's keen on youkai presences, and the entire place is rigged. Above that, there's not much worth stealing besides potions. I've got far more profitable and easier marks."
Hmm. "Why don't you throw molotovs at it, like you did that school?"
...Aiko jerked her head back, surprised. "Now, who told you about that? Hrrm. Suppose you may've went there- and no, this mage knows water spells. While the liquid would guarantee some damage, he'd be able to prevent it from spreading."
Water magic, huh.
Okay then. I guess that means we need to bring out the big guns.
/ / / / I ASK NO QUESTIONS BUT AM ALWAYS ANSWERED: WHAT AM I / / / /
Shikome steps towards the shop with us, and we stand vaguely in front of it.
...Taking a brick I found, I chuck it at the glass window of the store-
Ti~ng!
...I'm forced to sidestep my own brick, the projectile bouncing off of the glass outright. Hmm.
"There you are." Aiko folds her arms, standing back.
...Looking at my predicament, Shikome casually steps away, towards an alley on the other side of the street.
Once she gets there, she travels some distance into it, before looking down and to her right-
"Eheh- eh, hey…" There was a hobo there, who was beginning to stand up. "Li- little lady…"
As he stood, Shikome watched him…
"...You're an awful pretty one." The guy smiled down at her. "Y'know, this might just…"
...Looking around, he patted his side. "A- aah, will you follow me, little girlie?"
Shikome just stares at him.
…
He starts to move. "Ah, a- come on, now. Follow uncle…!"
Shikome blinks at him.
…
After a moment, he doubles back, hobbles up to her, and begins trying to tug on her-
Shikome refuses to move, his force doing nothing. "Nn- nngh, c'mon…! I- I know a nice place, with… friends, yes- friends! Come along, now…!"
Shikome still simply stares at him.
...He tries to pull again. "Hn~gh! Gh…"
Then, Shikome starts to come back, him being dragged along by his own arms. "Aah- hey! Ugh- little- little lass! Lady! You- stop…!"
...After a moment, Shikome reaches the storefront with us, with the hobo.
He looks at us, bewildered. "Aah… who're you!? Aah- aa~h!"
Shikome lifts him up with both arms, before stepping to the window front-
Sma~sh! -and tossing him through, shattering the glass window.
…
I turn to Shikome. "I don't think that helps."
At that, Shikome wanders into the same alley again.
This time, there was a guy waiting for her. "Hey. Hey, what's up?"
She walks up to him, and looks up at him.
"Hey, yeah, I saw what you did." The guy takes a few steps back. "Youkai bitch. You're real pretty, y'know that?"
Sliding out a sharp pocket knife, he waves it about, grinning. "Think you're real tough, huh? I'll ram this knife down your throat, right through your sharp fuckin' teeth."
As he strafes around, Shikome just stands still, watching him…
"I bet you'll go for a nice price." Walking around her more calmly, as she rotates to keep him in sight, he stretches. "That was my friend back there, you know. We do 'contracting'. Someone like you was born to be contracted. Catch my drift?"
...Shikome's still just watching him.
...Stopping, he brings his arms up. "I think I'll.. try you out first!" He rushes forward, thrusting straight at Shikome-
She's now behind him-
Cr- crack. His arm was bent backwards, Shikome having grabbed it and brought it with her.
"Gh- ff~h…!" Doubling back, the guy fell on his rear. "Fu~ck!"
Letting go of his useless arm, Shikome turned to face the lying man properly-
SHINK!
...In an instant, a myriad of tendrils lurched out of her form, spiking into him and pinning his corpse to the floor.
As she retracted her bloody tendrils- well over twenty of them- she began dragging the dead man back by his bloody scalp.
I look over at Aiko, to see her sort of surprised by the visual, her eyebrows raised. She's more interested than she's looked in her entire life, I'm sure.
After a moment, Shikome returned to the storefront with the corpse, the few villagers on the road quite receptive about crossing the bloody trail she left in her wake.
With the corpse here now, Shikome positioned herself over him. She began to reel her arm back…
Shadows of some sort began to run up her arm, as she reeled it back as far as she could-
Whack! Dropping down, she thrusts the arm into the dead man's gut. From there, black begins to spread across his clothes and skin-
Shi- shink- pop, shink. Tendrils of black shade begin to flail about from within his cavity that Shikome made.
Standing, Shikome held the corpse by the indent she made, before reeling her arm back again and-
Woosh! -whipping it at the open window.
That old guy Shikome threw in was trying to get up. "O- ooh… Ki- Kirisame~. Help-"
Bam- thud! It bounced off of a counter, knocking it over before falling onto the guy. "Oof!"
...Hmm. That may've-
Thu- thu- thunk, thunk thunk, thunk! The wood inside starts creaking, for some reason.
…
Slowly, I begin to see something black and grey rise from the interior of the store…
Cra- crack! Boom! The front of the store begins to shatter, as large roots take hold and pierce it-
"Aaa~h!" The first hobo we cast inside isn't having fun. "Aa- ah- nghk…!"
Bam! The roof of the store is smashed as a large, expanding and growing shaft began to pierce the top-
Cla- clack clack, clack. Weird noises are heard from the opposite end of the store-
The ground starts to lightly shake as what looks like a tree rapidly erects, stretching to its full height of about three stories, with stick-like branches being the last things to permeate from the top as the final roots start to spread halfway out into the street.
Aiko and I distance ourselves from the roots, but Shikome stands in the midst of them as they spread, until they stop.
This has left a tall tree sticking out of pretty much the entire magic shop. It's surely uninhabitable now.
...After a moment of admiring it, Shikome pivots around and trots back to me, looking quite pleased with the results. Smug and casually aggressive.
Well then. That should be sufficient. I half wanted to rob the place for a bed, but I'm not sure if it exists anymore.
…
"What was the point of this?" Aiko gives me a dry stare. "You do realize you've likely just increased villager and heroine awareness by tenfold by doing this?"
Marcus looked at me funny one time. That, and I didn't know Shikome would nuke the establishment. That kind of makes robbing it hard. "...Didn't tell her to like, tree it."
...Aiko snorted. "Mmm. Should you not punish her for insubordination?"
"Gimme advice on how to do that." I give her a dry stare in return.
...She looks back at the death loli, only to see her closer to her. "Fair point. On that note, I'm not sure I see you disciplining anyone at all, really." With that, she distances herself from Shikome…
Shikome is behind her-
Aiko is across the road, wind from her movement meeting me on a delay.
"We'll see who's the one to be punished by the end of this…" Shikome gives the cat a flat stare.
...Aiko nods from her new position. "Ye~s. We~ll, then…"
Looking back at me, she tilts her head. "Are we done with your whims, for today?"
"Yeah." I would suppose. Tomorrow I'll have her put to work restoring our stocks and getting me an actual bed, perhaps.
...With that, the cat girl pivots around on her heels. "Carry on, then. Stealth Walk!"
fwi- fwish. Purple rings slowly relay from where she was standing before me, as her form flickered out.
Clack, clack, clack. I heard her footsteps from an adjacent rooftop, slowly losing volume as she moved off.
Fluffy kitty.
Shikome's disappeared from the left of my vision.
"We'll... luxuriate back at our domicile…"
I need an adult-
Woah. What's-
Oh. Shikome just grabbed my ass. Not something I feel every day. Or, as a matter of fact, any day.
I need the cops.
/ / / / FREAKIN HAKUGYOKUROU / / / /
END OF CHAPTER 76.5
PROTAGONIST: Matthew, the Debatably Sane Outsider, Lord of Edges, Scissor-Slinging Slasher, Insurance Fraud Expert, Used Goods Reseller, Evil Spirit Cultivator, Shrine Maiden Evader, Professional Youkai Developer, Legitimate Business Man, Trans-Loli
PRIMARY WEAPON: Dash Scissors - Succubus training tool. Allows horizontal quick-dashes, for dodging and agility purposes. Doubles as scissors for kinky, cloth-cutting occasions. Or stabbing. Sleek, black design.
OFFHAND ITEMS: [A Single Rubber Glove] - For those moments one needs to touch a live power wire with one hand and fap with the other.
INVENTORY:
Pocket Mirror - For admiring my loli-ness, and other mirror-related activities. Contained in suit pockets.
[Bag of Holding] - Takes up no inventory space, because it is the inventory space. Has nine slots, and is easily accessible.
Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!
Quick Scissorang - Non-elemental scissors that are enchanted to return to the owner with ferocity. Not that powerful of a weapon, but combined with strong string it can be used like a powerful grappling hook. Looks like it belongs in a Barbie catalog.
Shadow Hell Scissors - Fire elemental scissors. Ignites with every swing. Boosts power of fire spells. Forty percent fire resistance. Increases comfort when near fire. Allows user to cast Fire, Hellfire, Dark Fire, and Dark Fira.
Blessed Steel Scissors - Stained lightly with dried blood from a young human female. Sharp, shiny-ish, and to the point! Also blessed...
Steel-alloy String - An experimental item provided by Alice as part of her testing. She uses these herself to manage her dolls, or so I'm told.
A Tuft of Cloth Strings - Pink, regular cotton string. It's soft, and clean.
Danger Scissors Plus - Let's get dangerous. Randomly spawns anything from anywhere at any time at all, dependent on the power of the party or people around it while it is equipped.
(one more space remaining)
[Backpack] - Allows extended inventory, of twenty slots. Can hold larger items, but it takes longer to pull them out. Items inside are safer. It's also baby barf green.
Hedge Cutters - Rusty lawn pruning tool used by farmers to keep the vile hedges at bay. They're also sharp, so they've probably been used more than once in self-defense.
Teal Stone - Cool and refreshing to hold, exuding power of the wind. It's sort of shiny, too. Perhaps usable as a reagent.
Hackjob Rifle - A pseudo-railgun, made from an AK-47 barrel and a mangled toy gun. Laced with duct tape and wires to function, powered by electrical scissors, and uses small iron pellets as ammunition. Explodes violently if fed anything non-iron as ammo. Outside is coated with vegetable oil and must be wetted regularly to avoid violence upon powering up. Quite powerful.
Water Scissors - Scissors that continuously produce water. How troublesome.
Goldfish Snack Crackers - They're smiling. They might make a good snack...
Modern-ish Surge Protector - Protects against surges. Not very useful without unified electrical practices in housing. Can still be used as a paperweight and a brick, though.
[Rubber Pouch] - Stores electrical objects safely. Too small to add extra inventory, but doesn't take up any space when it's filled. Currently holding electric scissors.
Electrical Scissors - Must be held by gloves at all times, lest they cause electrical fires. Can cause severe shocking and electricity-induced stunning in individuals susceptible, including myself if I'm stupid. Unable to be turned off.
Holy Pot - A torso-sized holy pot used as a vehicle by flufflekind. Has holy properties and resistances for obvious reasons.
Financial Officer's Card - A card handed to me by the chief financial officer of the human village. Bears a complex triangular insignia and shines depending on the angle you hold it. Has some Japanese printed on it.
(eleven more spaces remaining)
==o==
PARTY:
Shikome, the Black Scion of the Saigyou
WEAPON: Dark Tendrils - Able to create tendrils from any part of her body, she can use them for powerful dark/physical attacks.
INVENTORY:
[Defiled Kimono] - Coated in the coagulated blood of numerous unlucky people. Grants pockets.
(two inventory spaces remaining)
==o==
Rumia, Youkai of the Dusk
WEAPON: Unarmed.
INVENTORY:
[Rumia's Outfit] - Some kind of outfit. I'm not sure how Rumia maintains it. Properties unknown. Grants pockets.
Red Ribbon - It's a ribbon in her hair. It's small, too. Takes up no inventory space. Properties unknown.
(two inventory spaces remaining)
==o==
Vanilla, the Loli Vampire
WEAPON: Unarmed.
INVENTORY:
[Cloak] - A dull black cloak. No inventory space, but takes up none when worn.
(no inventory space)
==o==
Mako, Myouren Healer
WEAPON: Healer Sentinel Staff - A staff that boosts the power of physical reinforcement magic and healing spells. Allows the user to cast Renew and Refresh.
INVENTORY:
Monk Outfit - A robe for monks. Looks warm. Takes no inventory, because it's worn and is the inventory.
(four inventory spaces remaining)
==o==
ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:
the matt man is back man
he's the leader of the bunch
you know him well
he's tinier, girlier,
and weaker too
he's the loli member of the loli crew
anyway yeah we turned matt into a loli
life comes at you fast dude
anyway
this was a pretty fun chapter and we got some of shinki's demon tourism in there dude
s'also just really saturated with good moments and fluency and STUFF and setting and ooh ho ho
went some fun places and accomplished fun things!
well there was more child trafficking but mako's a willing if undereducated participant so that's a thing
also bubonic plague succubi from the demon world; they're quite charmers
the most important development of this chapter is that matt got a tiny pocket mirror to admire his own loliness with dude
oh yeah and he's on the village council now, while all the heroines are like hornets to a tiny defenseless ant colony; that's going to be a clash of jet streams
but above that shikome gets to touch him inappropriately and violate united states workspace employee safety codes
fortunately however we're in gensokyo so it's really up to whoever sees to call their shots on it yo
as always, see you all next time!
==o==
CO-AUTHOR'S NOTE:
this batch has taken so long i can barely even remember what happened when this was written
but it's kinda hard to forget being turned into a loli isn't it
literally the highlight of the damn thing, and it was pretty much a spontaneous decision in that regard. but no regrets yo
i say spontaneous but it does have its purpose. it's not a one-time half-off type of deal, and it's certainly not made in China either
it can be sort of difficult keeping track of every single event that has occurred in the story to maintain the continuity (there's more than a million words of the damn thing) but the important bits should be memorable enough to not fuck up later
i think there was a plot to this thing now-something about the village council-but who cares about that. it's got murder, rape, sex trafficking, and lolis. what more could you ask for?
if anyone is wondering why there are so many lolis: it just kinda happened. yeah.
mrry crsms n hppy nw yr
