(in which souls give us strength)
Mokou kicked a rock down the street as we progressed. "Hmph…"
So far, we've tried about five more bars! A~nd… wouldn't ya know it, none of them were doing anything hideously illegal. Like two of them had youkai who freaked the fuck out and thought we were gonna deport 'em back to Mexico, but we didn't because there's really no reason to kick out mages and freakin' one-tenth animal-type people and object people.
"There's only a couple places left…" Maria read off her list, which was now mostly crossed off. "Um… Small Packages, Golden Grin, and… Tiny Tim's Motel."
I'm sorry what was that last one? Ah, whatever yo. In fact, these're all weird ass options! And even with Mokou, I'm kinda uncomfortable about the former. Especially with Mokou, because she might just fly off 'er handle before we can negotiate anything and start a war.
Right now we're just in like, the square.
"We need a list of all bars." Mokou is determined to conduct SWAT operations! "...Hell, we need to break down every fucking door in this village."
"...Hmm." Genkan's on the fence about being that ruthless!
Shaking her head, Maria begins to move. "Well- we can't just break and enter unless we have reasonable suspicion-"
"This entire fuckin' place is suspicious!" Mokou makes a furious case! "I say we enter every damn house."
"You can do that." Genkan decides. "...You have more than enough capability, and I'm sure you could find someone with less to do than us."
...At that, Mokou whirls to face me, impeding my progress. "Brad. Don't you fucking dare tell me that you, of all people, have shit to do."
"I, of all people, have shit to do~!" Wahaha~!
...Huffing, she turns. "Fine. When we're done here, I'll run around myself. Get drugged and raped while I'm at it, fun fun fun." ...Well, admittedly I feel a slight guilty, but I don't wanna be the guy who combs the entire village! I mean… it's not huge but it's a civilization…!
...Maria held up a hand. "Fu- Fujiwara, um, we-"
"Shut it." Mokou just held up a hand at her.
"You know who does have less to do…?" I've got some ideas!
...After walking forward for a moment, she stops to face me, humoring me. "Who."
...Actually, now that I think about it. "The town youkai hunters, yo." I'm sure Albus's sharpshooter skills would work exceptionally better on perverts than on shrine maiden barriers. "...Also, Kaguya."
…
At that, she points at me. "Well, first, fuck you." Ho ho ho! "Second, yeah. Might as well get those useless bastards to do something. If I can beat that bitch into submission, I'll drag her out here." Yeah, yo.
"There ya go, yo." I give her a warm nod. "Assemble a noob army."
...Now that we've stopped bickering, Maria continues ahead again. "Let's… look at that Golden Grin place. I don't have a good feeling about it…"
"What makes you say that." Genkan monotones, as she stares at the freakin'... upper levels of the building in the distance. "Is it the garish nature of how it violates the horizon?"
"Yeah, pretty much." Continuing ahead, Maria furrows her brows gingerly… "It's also just… so different, and has so much youkai involvement. It's weird."
Marching ahead, Mokou looks ready to rumble…! "It is an eyesore. I hated it being there since day one."
The day is in later afternoon, now… the fluffy period of the day, dude.
We arrive at the doors!
Two rabbit girls're standing outside, clad in revealing bunny suits that amplify their features.
The flaxen haired one on the right's smoking a cigarette, her arms folded. Aw, yo.
On our left, there's a pink-haired bunny girl, seemingly doing a little repeated bounce in place, to jiggle her breasts.
Sneering, the flaxen-haired rabbit gives Mokou a stare. "You~ again. Thought we toldja not to come back…"
"Shrine maiden's orders." Mokou glares back at her. "Saw the news, didn't you?"
"Don't read i~t." The rabbit waved her off. "I just li~ve. Like you, except I'm making money." Money with which you can buy… all the cigarettes!
Mokou holds up a hand-
fwoom. The bunny's cigarette burned up instantly, incinerating.
"Kaugh- kauf- ngh- kauf…!" Stumbling back, the rabbit chokes out a black cloud of smoke…! "Ha- h- hkh- kau~gh…!"
...Pouting, the pink-haired rabbit propped her arms on her shoulders! "Y'know, it's stuff like that that gotcha beaten' up last time!"
"Lemme in." Mokou folded her arms.
"He~." She gave one giggle. "No."
I step out behind her, and hold up my youkai eviscerator badge! "Lemme in, yo."
She smiles at me. "Alri~ght. Right this way, sir!" Apparently a badge gets you in! She starts to walk ahead, but ah-
"Also, she's with me." I gesture to Mokou.
...Stopping, pinkie turns to me, pouting. "...I don't think she even likes you, sir. I'll take better care of you~."
Son. "Also, these guys…!" I gesture to Maria and Genkan! "We're a family unit! It's-" I point at Maria in particular! "It's her birthday! C'mo~n here!"
...Giving me a freakin' owlish stare, the bunny shakes her head and continues inside. "Okay."
Yeah, yo. Customer service… customer re~spect!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
It's a big freakin' casino place, yo! Although, I already knew this…!
"...Bright." Genkan had her eyes squinted, just a bit.
"Really bright." Maria looked around at all the gold and platinum lights. "I've never seen anything like this…"
Hmm… hmm hmm!
As we meander inside aimlessly, I move towards one of the slot machines. It's slotty, dude.
...Bo~ng! I punch it in the side! Yeah! We're investigating, dude!
...Thunk. Maria assists me by idly kicking the stool before it, after a few moments. Wohoho!
"What the fuck're you two doing…" Mokou stops her skittish looking around to focus on us. "We should make for the back rooms. I don't like this main room." Ooo.
...Bo~ng! Fuck this slot-
Click. The top of the slot machine opens, and a girl with braided golden hair sticks her head out, expression blank.
...After a moment, she blinks repeatedly-
Ding- ding- ding- ding- ding! Oh- holy shit! Her hair lit up and she's shooting coins at me with her eyes!
Ah- oof- oof- aah! I gotta shield myself with my arms…!
Fwa~sh! ...Genkan froze the slot machine solid, both arms held up.
"Freakin'...!" Those coins hit hard, dude! Lemme just rub my arms to confirm the bruises are in fact bruises- ohp, yep, they're bruises.
Mokou lets out a sigh. "Good job. What could be a better way to announce our presence."
...Ceasing cringing from the freakin' 'you won the lottery' noises the machine made, Maria pans her head around at the people freakin' clapping for us. Yeah- people think we actually won apparently…! This stealth mission has gone horribly wrong!
...Kneeling down, I pick up a coin-
These coins all have Yukari's face on them, and she looks smug. They're probably freakin' painted iron or some shit…!
"Look, honey, they won…!"
"Hahaha~!"
"See!? You can win!"
We've only been in here ten seconds, and we've drawn all the attention. We would've had better luck walking in with a rocket launcher…!
Mokou looks pissed, too…!
"Oh, hey…" Aw, dude. I hear a fluffy voice…
Turnin' around almost three-sixty, I see Maribel coming towards us from outta the slot machine lane! "I didn't think I'd see you, here. And…" She eyes my company!
Mokou steps up to her. "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"
...Maribel shrinks back a little! "Well, um. I… don't… know you?"
"She's a friendly person, yo." I prevent Mokou from verbally abusing her! "I- my- we go way back, dude. Way, way back…" Shakin' my head, I just, I oo~h…! "I-"
"Yeah, yeah." Mokou waves me off. "You sure?"
"She ain't from the villa- she's an outsider." There ya go, yo. Ya wanted the truth… but you~ can't handle the-
"Oh." At that, Mokou ceases to care that Merry exists. "Let's get our ass in gear before Yuk-..." Oo~h. The name that shall not be spoken…! "...Hnn-" She just grunts to replace the name! "-rains on our parade."
"What're you guys doing?" Merry is understandably confused!
"Well…" Maria's not sure where to start!
...Genkan just gives the girl an unimpressed stare.
"We're hunting wabbits." This is the quickest, most accurate explanation! "...Not wabbit wabbits, like, we're looking for sex dungeons." Maybe it's a little too quick…!
...Merry blinks at me. "Okay." Wahaha!
I begin moving for the stage at the back wall of the club casino thingamajig. "Let's go backstage, yo…"
"Staff doors- no, use the staff doors!" Mokou snaps at me! "Are you retarded!?"
"Yes." I turn to her, nodding warmly…
"Good." Moving ahead of me, she marches for the staff door! "Follow my lead, and so help me if you wander off and blow this shit."
You know, I think we blew stealth ten seconds ago, but okay, friend.
...Moving to the stage, I climb up onto it anyway! Just- ah, there we go, had to like use my arms to get on the platform…
...Mokou just stops before the staff door she was moving towards, looking up at me, before throwing her arms down. "Son of a bitch- come the fuck…" She floats up and onto the stage!
"Son, no…!" Backin' up, I get onto the stage's midst and step back a little-
Latching onto my shoulder, Mokou begins to tug. "Get the hell over here!"
"Aaa~h, aaa~h!" I start stomping against the ground, but it's almost useless…!
...Drifting up towards us, Genkan gives us a jaded stare. "You know responding to him like so is only feeding him."
...Mokou just glances at 'er, before- must fight… the tug…'cause she's tugging!
Then, she stops, staring at the crowd of people in booths and seats and stuff. They're all kinda watching us, real quiet!
…
"Hey, uu~h!" I call out! "Hey, everyone! We're practicing a~ new play!"
Mokou's expression slowly falls as I call out to the crowd…
"It's aa~h…" Lemme just project the voice… "It's called, 'get inside that staff door, or so help me'! It'sa- it's gonna be a good play!" Yelling to a whole crowd is not my strong suit.
...Looking at Mokou, who's still got a vice hold on my shoulder, I start tapping my free leg and movin' my right arm! "Get insi~de that staff doo~r, or so help me~...! So help me~, so help me- aah!"
Mokou just walks off-
Thud. -with me still held onto, dragging me like a freakin' pillow. "Oof…! I- I'm bein' stagenapped yo…!" Aah, shit, I can't shout for beans down here. It takes a conscious, concentrated effort to project my voice while standing and doing nothing else…!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We are now… in the staff rooms! Well, a hall to them, anyway. This hall is pretty 'boring office'-y looking, ironically.
Dusting myself off, I grin at Mokou. "...I mean, if we haven't been stopped now-"
"Shh~." Now dismissive of what happened, Mokou moved ahead. "They got patrols 'n' shit back here. I-"
As we approached the first T-intersection, some rabbits walk out and turn to us instantly!
"...Ah." One of them looks over at Maribel. Oh- yeah, Merry and the friends all just kinda slowly followed, since that exchange took an eon, yo.
"Hi, Mistress." A platinum-haired bunny waved! "Is rath' ni' day…" You said what.
"...Hey." Merry gave them a wave.
With that, the rabbits passed by us…
…
Mokou whirls to face Maribel! "You…!"
"Me…!" The poofy-hatted friend reaches down-
A gap opens, and she draws Porcelain Mirror from within!
"...I'm such a retard!" Mokou reels an arm back-
Fwoom! A fireball lights up in her palm-
"Yukari~!" Mokou lunges forward-
"Reflectaga!" Merry thrusts her weapon into the air-
Fwam- Ti~ng! Mokou's fireball is consumed by the almost completely reflective, hexagon-composed barrier…
I back up, 'cause that barrier's gonna explode!
Maria had her arms up to try and mediate the oncoming tussle, but rapidly backed away from the spell…!
Noticing we all know something she don't, Genkan slides away from the barrier as well-
FWA- FWA- FWA- FWOOSH! It explodes into a freakin' series of echoing, white explosions as Mokou moved to try and fight the barrier itself.
"Hua~h!" So she was flung down the hall-
Bam! -before hitting the wall at the T-shaped intersection. "Fff~uck!"
"I- I'm not Yukari…!" Maribel waved an arm at her! "I- I know I look like her, but umm-"
"Lying bitch!" Mokou is not happy wit 'er!
"I'm sorry~!?" Merry looked around…! "Um! Can we… not fight in here, if we're gonna fight!?"
...At that request, Mokou took pause. "Why?"
"Um- uh…" Merry was surprised she listened. I sort of am, too! "It- it'd be a little rude to… just burn the walls. And, the place would probably fall in and hurt people, if it caught fire…"
...Yeah, that's actually pretty sound logic.
"...Fine." Mokou has been calmed down, son. Crisis averted! "Take us somewhere we can fuck each other up, then."
Merry looks awkward, which is fluffy. "Um. I… don't really know how to like, move people well yet."
...Mokou just kinda blinks at her. "Wha- what. Cut the shit."
"Why would I cut shit…" Merry spoke under her breath…! "Anyway-... yeah. Sorry."
Just kinda thrown off by that, Mokou shakes her head. "...Well, if you wanna fuck about and stalk us, do whatever. You probably found us because of these fucks." She gives an offhand gesture to us!
...At that, Maribel tilts her head. "I mean… kind of, but not in-"
Storming off, Mokou seems to just abandon us entirely to explore the casino further. Alrighty then!
...After she's gone, Genkan focuses on our poofy-hatted friend. "Do you know the layout of this establishment?"
Her hanger sliding back into a gap, she continued forward down the hall. "Not rea~lly. I know modern buildings though, so…"
"I do too…!" I remind her!
And-
Thunk. Maria screwed with a post-it board on the wall until it fell over.
I bring my hands to my head… "Dude, you killed it."
...She brings her hands up to her mouth!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
There's a lot ta search, here. We did find sex dungeons; they just weren't the rapey or breaky kind. They also required paid entry, so we didn't!
"What kind of scene are they running, here…?" Reaching forward, Genkan puts a hand on a corporate lookin' water cooler as we pass it-
Fwa~sh. It's an ice cooler now, dude.
...Ignoring the office cubicle clearing to our right, we come up to another door with a neon sign set up outside it.
Instead of a hyper-busty kitsune or catgirl or what have you, there was just a fluffy-looking girl with pink hair, and a poofy hat similar to Maribel's. "...Hi." She greets us casually…
"What's in there…?" Slipping past us, Maria tries to make a fluffy friend…
"Love." The girl smiles at us. "I love you." Oh.
"I love you too, dude." I confess my love to fluff nugget girl. "What is in the good room, friend?"
"Love." She starts to walk towards us…!
"He- hey." Maribel steps up to her…! "Don't harass these- aa- ah!"
The girl moves up and wraps her arms around her, pulling Merry into a hug. "Nnn~."
"Wh- ah…!" Merry resists, pushing against her gingerly! "No…"
"Mistress is tense…" The poofy girl nuzzles her hat against Merry's cheek. "Come with me."
"Tha- that's okay…!" Merry tries to push her away-
"Come with me." Insisting again, the girl begins to moonwalk towards the door with Merry in her grasp-
Thunk! Merry slid a plant hanger I hadn't seen before from a gap, jabbing it into the girl's gut.
"Ooh…" She slid back into the door, relatively indifferent. "But… I love you."
"I don't love you…!" Merry's harsh on her!
"...Oh." Crestfallen, the poofy girl just kinda deflates.
…
Looking awkward, Merry just kinda moves ahead!
We make haste ta keep with her. I think we've gone up a few floors, since we've taken some freakin' regulated stairwells here and there.
"This place…" Maria huffs from the sheer amount of walking. "It's bigger on the inside…"
"Is it really." Genkan asks this knowing full well it is…!
...After another moment of travel-
Maribel pushes open some double doors at the end of the hall-
We're now on the third floor! This is the floor just below Yukari's balcony of fun times. There's not a lotta people up here…
"Woa~h…" Maria instantly takes to the guard rail and looks down. "O- oh…"
"Yeah…" Looking over the edge, Merry agrees. "Heights are weird, aren't they?"
"I've never been this high up before." Maria has never been on the third story of a building before! Which makes sense, because this village only has like two stories max per building, and you don't typically get to stare into oblivion from the top.
...Merry just kinda gives her a look! "What, really?"
"...I- I mean, name me a building this big, that isn't this one." Maria defends her position!
"Empire state building." Maribel rattles off a building!
All this incites from Maria is a blink. "A whah?"
"...That mansion with the vampires?" Maribel tries another guess!
"...I mean, that's right, I guess." Maria lets 'er have that.
While the two fluffingtons bicker about fluffy things, I scan this sorta barren balcony level we're on…
There's really not a lot goin' on up here! There are some fancy doors to what looks like the front of the building.
"Get the hell off of me!"
Oh, shit! Yelling!
Lookin' around-
Thu- thud! Mokou stumbles from out of one of those front doors ahead, arms and shoulders ablaze, her fire curiously technicolor-
Splop- splop! While she scrambles away, freakin' glops of foamy cream are fired from the doorway. The door itself was just covered by violet curtains, so yeah, not much stoppin' the gloppin'!
"Fu- fuck…" Waving her arms as she stands and nears us, Mokou flails her limbs to shake some sticky, rainbow-colored crap from herself-
A woman wonders out of the curtained door, and- woah. Oh…!
It's a seven-tailed kitsune, with perky blonde hair, and neat bangs. She's also in a candy bikini, holding a cartoonishly undetailed bazooka.
Shpoosh! She fires a poof of cream from her cannon!
Splop! It nails Mokou in the back, staggering her. "Gh- you bitch…!"
"Fufufu~!" With a positively smug expression, she almost wades further onto the balcony, mirthful as she accents her curves with her movement. "I'm gonna wet your candle…"
"Ea- eat shit…!" Almost slowed to a crawl by her frustration and the goop, Mokou just slowly chugs along…
Slipping her goo cannon into her tails, the kitsune prances over towards Mokou, a bounce in her step.
Whirling to face her, Mokou's hand glows with violent, bright energy-
Fwoom! She shoots a slow moving fireball-
Fwoom! With a swipe of her own hand, the kitsune put it out as it neared her. "I love your hair…"
"I- I'm not in the fuckin' mood…!" As the fox girl neared, Mokou bought up her fists-
Woosh! In an instant, the girl's bare leg was up on Mokou's shoulder, her opposite hand caressing Mokou's face. "I'll get you in the mood."
...With this massive exposure, Mokou moves a hand to immolate the kitsune's crotch.
Fwoom! Flames lick up her pale, soft skin-
"A- aah…!" The kitsune tilts her head back. "Tha- that feels-... ow- ow- you're melting the candy!"
Woosh! Thrusting back-
Thud. The kitsune awkwardly landed on her back, before-
Cla- clack. She cast the partially melted Skittles bikini aside, and, yeah.
...Genkan covers Maria's eyes.
"I know what those look like." Maria remarks plainly. "I have one."
...I'm just kinda takin' it in, son. Takin' it-
Genkan covers my eyes. Wat, no. Although… hands on face, dude-
"Alright…" Drifting back onto her legs, the girl begins to blush. "Heat me up, baby~...!" She holds out her arms-
Fwoom! Oh. This kitsune's also fire elemental No wonder that inferno Mokou erected in her crotch didn't hurt her more. She's just ignited her own arms…
Lunging forward, she moves to glomp Mokou-
Maribel crouches near the floor, stabbing her new, blue and silver-lookin' hunk of metal into it-
Fwuu~sh! A pretty big geyser erects from the floor- which is curious since we're on a balcony and all.
...A moment later, and the geyser falls!
On the other side of it, Mokou's lying on the floor in a freakin' mess and the kitsune is some feet away, looking dissatisfied. "Wate~r…"
"There…" Letting out a sigh, Merry steps ahead. "Aa~h."
...I give 'er a grin! "What kinda noise was that…!? 'Aa~h'."
"The sound of vague befuddlement." She gives me a tired grin back…! "This place is too much."
...After a moment, we hear the flapping of wings, dude.
Looking to the side, we see Ha-chan's floated up from the lower floors. Oh, right, she slipped away again! Freakin'...!
"Hello~!" She waves at us!
"Hi..." All of us, barring the wiped out ones, give her some casual greetings.
Moving forward, I step past the hole Merry blew in the balcony-esque floor and move towards that curtain-clad door!
Brushing the curtains aside, I step in…
There's a room in here. There's a bunch of velvet furniture, and maroon carpeting. The walls're a dark navy marble or stone, and the place pretty much has the lights off.
...Oh, hey. Light switches, dude. Consider that a first!
Click! Let there be light!
...Now I can look over the garish colors in their full glory!
Moving around the big round couch in the midst of the room-
"Nn~h…" Girlish moans…?
...A girl with bobby brown hair sits up on the couch- a~nd she's also in just a candy bikini.
Her cat ears twitch when she sees me. "O- oh…! Hehehe~..."
There's a fucking ladder up to the next level- Yukari's platform place- and it's painted like bright purple.
...Some girl with a similar hairstyle but white hair sits up, her eyes yellow. Also a candy bikini…! "What's up…? A- oh."
"Aa~h…" A woman with flowing black hair emerges from behind a chair near the ladder- alright this is too many people…!
Looking over at me, her red eyes lock onto my form, and she seems to stop. "Oh…? New to~y…"
Nope! Strafe jumping and humping the ladder is not a viable strategy right now, I'm definitely certain! I think I'm just gonna…
...I dart my gaze around the women as they start getting up-
Yep, moving towards me! Run to infinity~!
Moving outside the room, I see the friends approaching!
"It's a monster house…!" Running forward, I hide behind Genkan! "Help me, yo…!"
...Giving me a curious stare, she looks back at the room ahead. "Hmm? Is there another woman in there?"
"Womans!" I stress the vowel…!
...At that, Maria and Merry just kinda file back a little, to keep Genkan at the front.
"Ah." Indifferent, Genkan drifts ahead, relaxed. "I'm sure there's not-"
Woosh! The brown-haired kitty slides out-
"Mmh…!?" She kisses Genkan instantly…!
"Fuhehehe~!" The white-haired petite woman slides out beside her, grabbing onto Genkan's arm as if it was a defensive fixture-
"Oo~h…" Where'd this red-haired lady come from!? She's on Genkan's left now-
"Khehe~!" Orange-haired chick with bat wings floats out from the top of the doorway! What the fuck-
"More…" There's that black-haired woman-
Ha-chan comes up from behind me, which almost spooks me, but I hide behind her now! "Hey, yo, help…!"
Fwash! Genkan freezes the kitty immediately molesting her. "Fwa~h…!" Stepping back, she inhales-
"Nnh!" That bat-winged girl drops onto her face, clamping on with her legs! "Eeh- hehe~!"
"Mghk-..." Stumbling back, Genkan starts prying at the girl-
"Sto- stop!" Merry commands the girls to stop! "You guys- um- mmh…!"
Sliding up to her, the girl with long black hair slid a long, pointy lollipop into her mouth. "You're cute…"
"He- hey…!" On the other side of Genkan, Maria swings her staff around! "Sta- stay-"
Grabbing onto it, the red-haired lady encroaching upon her pulled herself closer to the mage. "Hmm~..."
"A- uah…" Pulling herself back, Merry slid the lollipop out of her mouth. "Sleepaga!"
Fwoa~sh. She thrust her arm into the air…
Thu- thu- thu- thu- thud. Everyone on the front pretty much collapses, including Genkan 'n' Maria, the horde of rapists, and-
"Aa~h…" Ha-chan falls away from me ahead, just barely clipped by the radius!
...Mokou slowly approaches us, wet and sticky and tired-looking.
That kitsune's nuzzling her shoulder, tails coiled around the opposite arm. "I- I can warm us up, baby…"
"Not in your dreams." Mokou gave her a flat retort.
"...Hah." Exhaling, Merry looks around. "That's great, but I'm kind of trying to not get raped, here…" Wat. Is she… talking to someone? That doesn't really make any-
"Ah." Realizing the damage she's done, Merry pans her gaze around. "Oh, Brad, you're still awake."
"I dodged matrix style." I confess, dude. "...When didja learn tier three spells?" Freakin'... I wanna know Sleepaga!
"Oh…" She blinked. "Yukari lent me some books on magic."
A wizard did it, huh.
"...What kinda books, yo?" I'd like to read them! Merry was just as much of a magic normie as me a few days ago, and now she's castin' tier three 'prefabs' or whatever.
"Ah." She makes a gap in the air before me-
A fittingly violet book with nothing on the cover plops down before me.
"Um…" Stepping up to me, she brings her arms up. "Be careful while opening it. I'm not sure what it'll do to someone who's not me."
Son, are we talkin' exclusive downloadable content here!? Alright yo, I gotta see this shit!
Bending down, I take the book, stand, and open it.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...Well, I'm not holding the book anymore.
It's on the ground before me, again, just where Merry plopped it down. I'm standing where I was just before I tried to pick it up.
She steps on it to keep me from trying again! "Do- don't try that again, okay? You scared me."
Huh. "What happened, yo…?" How it feels to chew five gum, son…!
"...Just," as she steps off of it, a gap opens and consumes it, "don't think about it, okay?"
...Guess it's cursed or some shit! That'd figure.
Are- is my me still there? Ohp, yep, arms and body and legs and yeah. My me is still there, man.
...Looking down at the pile of sleeping women, Merry takes out her silvery-blue hanger-
Moving over to Genkan, she holds it over her-
Spla- spla- splash. A controlled flow of water drops from the hanger. Freakin'- wasn't water boy my team role…!?
"Nn- mmh…!" Genkan flails her arms against the water-
Fwa~sh! Merry's hanger froze solid in and to her hand. "...A- ah!" She swings it about, frazzled!
...I look over at Mokou-
The kitsune was now hanging off the guardrail, about to fall into the casino abyss. "Do- don't do this to me, baby~!"
Thunk! Mokou kicked at her fingers, only for the kitsune to slid her hand to the side a little. "Go down you fucking…" Guess she didn't see what happened to me, then.
Cra- cra- crack. Merry somehow broke the ice after focusing on it, moving over to Maria…
Spla- spla- splash-
"Aaa~h!" Maria sits up with a jolt!
"Woah!" Merry leaps back, a little…!
...Quickly maneuvering onto her feet, Maria brings her staff up defensively. "What's going on…!?"
"No- nothing, I think!" Merry yells back at her!
...I do a jazzy strut towards Maria. Once I get close, I stop and casually proceed towards the room ahead.
She looks confused. "Whah…?"
"Did you need to use water…" Genkan wiped her face. "...Though, I suppose it removed that she-creature's stench." The smelly smell that smells smelly…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We have reached… the top of the ladder, yo.
Up here, I look around…
Yukari's not currently at her table, leaving the furniture completely unattended. Aw, dude…!
"Hmm…" Genkan pans her gaze around. "This is Yakumo's quarters, is it?"
"Yeah…" Merry romps ahead casually, before standing… casually. "She doesn't seem to be here, right now. Maybe we should go."
...Moving towards the white table, I grab onto it and begin pulling it towards the edge. "Hnn~h…"
Pu~ll… and pu~ll-
"Brad, no." Merry steps up to watch me pull the table away from the center of the top room. "I don't think Yukari'll be happy if you do that…"
"Aa~h, whatever, yo." I must cast this table to the flames. I've got an urge, son.
"Br- Brad…" Maria's offput by Merry's warning! "I- I don't think you should-"
"Brad, stop." Genkan, too! Everyone really doesn't want me to ruin this table, which makes me want to ruin it harder!
"I can't stop, dude…!" Tug! Tu~g! "I'm possessed!"
...Ha-chan flies up from the opening in the guard rail before me! Aah! "Nn~h…" She's drowsy, dude…
The guard rail opening's there 'cause it's for that weird elevator me and Merry stepped onto the last time we were here. No~w…
Bam! I punt the table!
It tips off into the gap…
"Um." Merry holds herself…
Maria sighs.
"Bra~d." Genkan just sounds vaguely chiding.
…
Clang- bam! Hoh- shit!
The table lands next to me…! And- oh shit shit this is one hell of a time to lose your balance next to a convenient hole in the guard railing-
I'm stopped from falling into the abyss by an arm.
"Watch your step." ...I meet Yukari's smug smile, her arm on me to keep me dropping into infinity. "You might hurt yourself, if you're not careful, Brad."
She tugs-
Thud. I slide to the ground before the party, Yukari's tug sending me skidding across the tiled floor here…! Oof.
...As I sit up-
Genkan stops to push me down again with her sandal. "Idiot." Genkan, please…!
"So~..." Trotting over to us leisurely, Yukari's expression is relaxed. "What brings you all here, today?"
"You told me to explore." Merry pouted at Yukari… "All your staff people here keep trying to rape me."
"Mmm." Yukari doesn't really care!
"...Pardon our intrusion." Genkan makes sure to watch her steps around a youkai like Yukari…! "We're here to investigate. Your establishment is highly suspect, according to the Hakurei maiden-"
"Oo~h, Reimu's just joki~ng." Giving Genkan a smug smile, Yukari steps closer. "Besi~des. What's a dignified yuki-onna such as yourself taking orders from a Hakurei maiden for, hmm~?"
...At that, Genkan takes her sandal off 'a me and drifts back a little. "...I do as I please."
"What of all the injustices, hmm?" As I get up, Yukari steps closer, curiously chill about her approach. "I thought you all held an undying and just grudge, no?"
"I'm taking the time to think about what exactly to hold my grudge against." Drifting back further, Genkan met Yukari's gaze. "...Humans, yes, but it has become exceedingly obvious over these past few days that, at least in this place, there are… degrees of variety, you may say."
...I stand up, ending up in Yukari's way-
Yukari continues to walk forward, now past me, somehow. Oh.
"And what would your sisters think?" Yukari stopped just beyond me. "Knowing you've betrayed their cause to think of your standing?"
…
"They're… not as ignorant as you make them to be, Yakumo." Genkan sounds a little iffy on that, not gonna lie…! "They're my kin for a reason, and we've had a long time to learn."
"And only after some decades, you stop and consider…" Yukari brings a hand to her cheek. "My~. The cold is rather stubborn."
"If they don't see, then they will see." Landing solidly on the ground, Genkan reaffirms herself. "I just need time to research this, for myself."
…
Looking pretty mirthful, Yukari pivots around to face me.
...She says nothing, though! Um…!
"You wanted to learn some magic, yes?" Ooo…!
...I grin! "Yeah, yo!"
"That's nice." She gives me a blunt reply.
…
Oh. I thought… we were going somewhere with that. Son.
"Hey, um…" Merry's fluffy, my dudes. "Why'd you antagonize that yuki-onna…?"
"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head about it." Yukari slowly tilts her head to Merry. "How goes things on your end, hmm?"
"Rapey." She puts it bluntly…! "Why're all your friends molesters?"
"Oh, some day, you'll appreciate it more than you ought to, too." Waving her off, Yukari drifted past me, and towards the hole in the guardrail. "Do you have any crushes?"
"As if you don't already know, probably…!" Merry raises a- what the fuck is that. Is that… a club? Not just any club, it's like… made of the bastard child of a million VCRs.
Also! "Yo, Yukari! We gotta investigate this place!" Since Genkan got thrown severely off-topic, I'm gonna-
Turning towards me, Yukari opens a gap-
"Oo~h!" Loud moans emanate from it. "Aa- aah! Fu- fuck- nnnh!"
"Ye- yes! Yes!"
Cla- clang! "Stop- please! Stop- aa- ngh…"
The inside of the gap is filled with blinding, blurry lights, but vague humanoid shapes can be made out-
As Yukari steps around it, a naked woman starts to crawl through. "Hehehe- nnh… so- so warm! So wa~rm!"
The brown-haired woman almost gets all the way through-
Pap. Yukari kicks her back inside.
"Oohn!" She moans as she flops back in-
The gap shuts, the room's lighting returning to normal.
...Rotating back towards us, she nods.
…
"Wha- what?" Maria was deeply confused.
"Why, it was the pit of worship." Yukari had a pleasant expression. "Do you live in a cave?"
"Yes." Genkan replied bluntly.
"No, this establishment is not legal." Yukari admits outright. "We're sexually exploiting youkai and humans of varying age groups- however…! It is a~ll… consensual. Minus the ones we have to kill, of course. Never a happy sight, except when it is. But, I assure you, it isn't."
...Ah. Aa~h huh.
"If you think me of ill will…" Yukari holds out her arms. "Go ahead and detain me, officers." Daa~h…
...Yeah, I don't think this'll go well!
...I step up to Yukari. "You are… a rest!"
Bringing her arms down, Yukari pats the now very large and obvious pockets on her dress. "Search me, why don't you?" Wat.
…I reach into one- woah…!
Pulling my arm back out-
Thud. I fall onto my ass because I pull out an entire girl from Yukari's pocket.
"Oo~h…" At first, her form is blurry and totally impossible to make out, but as she pans her head around awkwardly-
Suddenly, she looks like Maria, except with pinker hair, and red eyes.
...Now, she properly focuses on me. "Hi~."
"No, yo." I'm gonna shove fluffles down your shirt, generic doppelganger number sixty-nine.
...Standing up, and wiggling not-Maria from my arms, I reach back into Yukari's pocket!
And-
"Hey…"
I pull out another girl. Freakin'...!
...This one's not a generic rapey person, though.
The twin-tailed cat drops off my arm, landing on her legs casually. It's a Chen, dude!
"Kitty…" Not-Maria moves for Chen-
Swish! Chen swipes at the doppelganger casually, before turning to me. "...Hi." She looks me up and down once, before smiling. "...You're Brad, right?" Aw, she knows me, dude!
"Yeah, yo!" I give her a nod!
...In the background, three lines of red slowly become prominent on the doppelganger's face, her eyes widening as the scratches begin to bleed. "...A- ah."
Ha-chan sleepily drifts over to us. "Ooo~. Kitty…"
Aw, dude, that's right.
Reaching down, I give Chen a friendly pet-
Crunch.
…
Chen's bit down on my hand, she did, looking none less relaxed about it.
Reaching down, Yukari pets her herself. "Oh, right. I told Ran to tell her to do that, whenever a bad man tries to pet her." I'm a bad man, now…!?
Maria and not-Maria have their hands to their mouths in the background.
"Aaaa~h!" Feel my yelling powe~r!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Long story short: we didn't get no investigating done! Too much Yukari, freakin'- rapist chicks everywhere, we got assaulted by a slot machine, Mokou got like molestigated by fire elementals, and the place was big and full of monster houses. And Chen bit me!
Back outside the Golden Grin, Mokou was covered in kiss marks, her clothes were half on, and she had candy and cream smeared all about her. "I fucking hate sluts."
"She certainly has a way with words…" Genkan had her eyes on Small Packages, just down the road.
"I'm surprised I wasn't to- touched, or anything." Maria expresses her gratitude at not being molested!
"Me too." Merry nods gingerly. "...Well, I got a lollipop shoved into my mouth, but other than that, it was kinda okay. That magic Yukari taught me really helped. Sorry I couldn't help you with that, Brad."
My hand was healed because ice magic, but I can still sort of feel it…! "Chen bit me!"
"We know." Genkan gave me a dry stare…!
"Why do cats betray me~?" Ha-chan shook her head. "We had cats at the mansion, once. They were fluffy…"
Oo~h. "Did they bite you, yo?"
"Yes." Ha-chan pouted! "What'd I ever do to cats…!?"
...Looking down at her list, Maria noted our next destination. "Small Packages is right next door, so…" Aa~h, fuck. Aaa~h, shit. Aaaa-
"Renko's there!" Merry somehow knows this! Wait- she is now!? Ooo~h! Hoo~h…!
"Oo~h, boy…" I shake my head. "Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy-"
"We're gonna be fine." Genkan, don't say shit like that. If anything happens, we toss Mokou at things and run.
"What's got your panties in a bunch?" Speaking of Mokou, she notices my disdain!
"They got a secret weapon in there, my gi- dude." I had to reconsider my line, I'm so tense about this!
...Mokou blinks. "And… you know this how?"
"'Cause I saw it!" I don't think I need much more justification! ...Wait! "Merry!" Merry Merry Merrybel! "Remember that apsara?"
...It takes her a moment, but- "Oo~h!" Her eyes light up! "...O- oh, you mean that girl…?" Yeah, dude!
I turn to Ha-chan! "Short girl, purple, ripped holy youkai to shreds while you were trying to molest me!"
...Ha-chan idly focuses on me. "Whah?" Freakin'...!
"Well, it's not like she'll just jump us…" Maria continues towards the rundown bar. "We were in there last time, and I didn't see her leap out and kill anyone."
...After a moment, we stop before the bar.
The guards at the door have like, plates left out next to them, and bowls of water. Are- are they being fed literally like dogs…!?
"Go- go on in…" This time, the guy's voice is raspy, and he doesn't look well. Help, dude.
...I keep myself in the midst of my party as we push in!
As usual, this place has an even shittier bar atmosphere than most shitty bars…! Freakin'... what's that pile of plywood in the corner for? Oh- ah. Took me a moment, but those're the stairs! Yes… good stairs.
There's some dudes in here, but they don't really mind us.
"Fucking…" Mokou- oh, hey, she got to keep that weird goo cannon that tormented her, at least. "How's this shit work…"
...Renko's at the counter! So's Albus…
Moving up to the counter, I sit next to him. "He~y, buddy! How ya doin', what ya doin', why ya doin'!?"
...He just gives me a stare. "Fuck o~ff." Aw. Nice person, dude.
"Hey, Renko." Merry approaches her friend…
"Ah, they didn't have any orange juice." Renko slid a second water where Merry could access it. "Here."
"Cool…" She takes it!
...There are only lolis behind the counter.
"Hi- hi…" It's that topless vampire! "How are you…?"
"You are how." I greet the friend.
There's some black-haired loli in a suit behind the counter. Actually, she was at the village council the other day. And… she's affiliated with this place apparently. Wau~.
Also, where's Matt? I didn't even see him like, run off. He's just outright not here. Maybe upstairs...
"Deja vu I just felt this happen before…!" Rumia's also down here, for some reason. Why's Rumia here…!?
...Maria sits next to me, an' Genkan next ta her. Mokou doesn't take a seat and just kinda stands around-
Ha-chan tries to snuggle into my lap again. "Hi…"
"Son- why…" Freakin'... snuggle bug me up, dude.
...I look over at the red-eyed suit loli. "Hello, friend! If you could find me a Matt, yo, I'd appreciate it…!"
"Matt's not he~re right now." She replies sassily. "Please fuck o~ff." Now she's just bein' rude…!
"We're here for an investigation." Genkan informs the loli staff. "On behalf of the Hakurei shrine maiden."
...The lolis look between one another, before the new loli that isn't Rumia focuses on me. "Good lu~ck."
Oh, good. She knows.
…
Genkan rises. "We shall get started, then."
Oo~h, boy. "Lemme direct our actions, here…" I stand up- freakin', Ha-chan, help- and make my desired authority known! "...'Cause I know what we're gettin' into, maybe!"
...Maria points at the back door. "Should we, um…"
"There's nothin' out that way, I think!" I remember seeing light out that way, and that's also where Matt went when the heroines came, so it's probably the 'get the fuck outta here' door. Not helpful…!
"Anyone gonna ask questions about the topless girl?" Mokou raised a point rather plainly. "You all just kind of ignored her."
...Before we could address her, the vampire girl spoke up herself. "That's just… how I dress." Oh.
"You're not forced to be here, or anything?" Mokou looks over at her.
"No." She shakes her head. "This place feels safe, to me."
...At that, Mokou just shrugs and leaves it alone. "Suit yerself. Sure as hell don't look it."
"How comes she gets to go 'round nakey, but I can't…!?" Ha-chan pouts! "That's not fair…"
"Because Sakuya." I state… but also, "I'm not stoppin' you, though…!"
"I am." Genkan retorts. "It's-... just don't do that."
"You should try going nakey, some time…" Ha-chan makes for Genkan, slowly but surely…!
"I will encase you in ice." Genkan threatens her…!
I make for the plywood stairs. "Alright... freakin'..." Should I have Merry be on the front with us? S'not like Yukari'll just let her cuddlemuffin' freakin' die, so she might be good. Mokou and Merry'll be our unkillable plot armor characters. They don't die yo, they just 'retreat'.
...Oh, yeah, these aren't plywood stairs. They're a freakin' slope. At least running the hell out of here will be faster.
Climbing to the top of the slope, I awkwardly grab onto the wall once I reach the top and step onto the wood beams at the top, through the less than safe jagged wood gap up here…
There's a bed on the very left, neatly made. The door ahead is open, the room seemingly empty. The door on the right is closed-
"Hehehe~!" Giggling is heard from the room on the right.
Since there's life in that room, I think we'll consider that one…
"Wow…" Now up here, Maria looks around. "What've they done with the place…?" She moves forward-
"Hold it." We ain't even wandering 'er shit without my go.
"Ah…?" She gives me a questioning stare, but doesn't argue.
"...Are you alright?" Genkan notices I was bein' legit for a moment there.
"Maybe." I near the closed door… "I want'cha guys to gather around this door, and we'll like, enter collectively." SWAT tactics!
...Ha-chan 'n' Mokou're up here-
"Yo, Mokou." I call 'er out! "I want you to stay near that door." I point to the open door.
"...Why not just look inside?" Mokou gave me a dry stare, one hand in her pockets and her other on that goozooka. "I'm not a pussy like you guys, y'know."
"Tru~st me." I try to make her trust me! "Like, just for this one instance- since this place seems to have what, three rooms- like… can we just-"
"Alright, geez." Mokou moves to stand near the door. "Don't give yerself a concussion. If it's really just for this one place, fine."
Hoo. Ho ho. Alright…
Maribel's up here! "Where do you wanna put me?"
I point at the door. "Next to Mokou, basically. You guys're our tank classes. I recommend takin' out Porcelain Mirror!" I do~n't wanna be he~re!
"...Alright." Maribel does as directed!
Alright…
...Reaching down for the knob, I cast open the door to the right room!
Stepping inside, I draw the first hanger I can and wave it about! "Freeze!"
…
Oh. There's two people having sex on the couch on the right.
...They look over at me. Is- is the girl… penetrating- you know what…
"He~y, get the fuck out." This woman with long blonde hair ahead gives me the middle finger, just kinda sitting in a plain wooden chair. "Unless you paid to deal with my hard-on…"
Click. I close the door.
...I turn back to my party, grinning! "Not what I anticipated, but that means the mine can only be in one square…!"
This door to this empty room. Freakin'...
"Genkan, Maria." I point at the stairwell. "I want you guys near the stairs. If we begin falling back, just get to the lower floor."
"Oka~y." Genkan seems very skeptical.
"Alright…" Maria moves towards the slope…
"Merry, here." I tap the floor on the right of the door, hugging the corner. "So we can like, surround the door from all sides… at least from one side!"
"Okay." Merry rearranges herself, moving away from Mokou and arriving at the door's side, here. This is some freakin'... strategy shit!
...Only once Merry gets to this spot, she begins to peek in from this rightward angle…
Looking over her shoulder, as she peers in, I see what she sees…
On the left wall, there's something fucked up going on. Strange, grey wood is clung along the side of the wall like ivy, from a scuzzy crevice along the edge of the floor, where the root of this plant thing might be. It traveled across the floor, but only a little, stopping and traveling along the wayside as if to purposefully mask the surface from being seen.
Shikome's standing in the corner of the room, peering at us with luminescent, purple eyes.
…
"Hey." Merry gives her a wave with her offhand. "Um. Who're you?"
Shikome begins power walking towards us…!
"Prepare to reflect…!" I kind of back away! "Mokou, back with me-"
Merry blinks. "Ah-"
Fwoosh.
...In the next moment, a gap pops out of nowhere and consumes Merry entirely.
Where she was, a spread of tendrils hung in the air. Oh shit!
"Fuckin' run!" It's time to run like the nineties memes and fucking- let's go!
Mokou is indeed backing up with us! "One of them fast pieces of shit, huh…"
Maria's already down the slope it seems, but Genkan's floating over the hole for whatever reason-
Shikome steps out of the room, arms ready for shit- get me the hell outta here!
"Hold it!" Mokou aims her goozooka at the loli. "Fuckin'- stand still, yeah!?"
...Shikome ignores her, stepping into the door frame-
I get onto the very top of the plywood slippy slide, which is like a little down from the second floor's plane. "Genkan, let's freakin'-"
Thunk!
"Ah…" A tendril stretches across the room, striking the space next to Genkan's head, passing through her hair in the process-
Letting myself drop, I grab onto her leg since she's still drifting over the hole-
Bam! I hit my ass and start tumbling-
"Ah!" I take Genkan with me, my weight pulling her down-
Splop- splop! Mokou's launching goo-
Clack! Shikome's on the wall above us now holy fucking-
As we fall, only now does Genkan's instincts to evade kick in-
Thu- thud- thud! We roll around on the ground, roaring down the plywood 'cause Genkan just threw herself into the ground and over me, basically. Ow…
"Gu- guys…!?" Maria runs up to us!
Cla- cla- clack! The plywood splashes about as Shikome plunges into it-
Splop- splop- splop! Mokou dives down after her, firing the goo straight down. "Your fight's with me, asshole!"
"We gotta go!" I get up! "Go!" Run! Book it! Waa~h!
...As Shikome gets covered with goo-
SHINK! Tendrils bloom out from her form and pierce through all of it, reversing the progress Mokou made in slowing her.
"Ghh…!" Mokou was also pierced in like ten different places, now.
Shink. Retracting her tendrils, Shikome was able to wipe herself of the clumpy, creamy goo, before proceeding to march towards the immortal.
Splop- splop…! Despite bleeding from ten holes, Mokou kept firing forward-
Now untangled from one another, the three of us all get the fuck out the front door!
Albus and Renko just seem to be biding their time and passively observing. Albus, you're a failure…!
Slowly marching forward, Shikome's pace slowed to a crawl as she became cluttered with more goo-
SHINK! She became a massive blossom of tendrils, rending all the clumpy goo that covered her.
...We're all outside, now, pretty much just getting the fuck out!
"Wha- what…" Genkan was breathing heavily, eying the bar from out here. "What was that…!?" Bringing a hand to her chest, she just kind of deflates…!
"I toldja it was a bad idea…" I'm winded. Genkan nearly got brainfucked. Fuck. "Je~sus…!"
...After a moment, Mokou backpedals out of Small Packages-
Bam! A force strikes her from inside, sending her stumbling back, her legs flailing as she tries to keep her balance…
"Go- kaugh- go on in…" Cool doorbell guards.
Shikome marches outside-
"Ha- kaugh- haha~!" Laughing at her, Mokou raises an arm-
Fwoom! -which flares with amber flames. "Now I don't have ta worry 'bout-"
Shink!
...Galloping up to her, Shikome sends a single tendril forward, smashing Mokou's head in.
...Bringing the tendril up-
Woosh. She swung Mokou's body around Sheriff Woody style-
Woosh! -before flinging it down the road, towards us-
Bam! Genkan stumbled back from guarding against Mokou's limp body, which slammed into her arms. "A- ah…!"
"Oh- oh my god…!" Maria looked over at the body, before bolting back. "Ru- run…!"
Woosh! Genkan moves to grab Maria, before accelerating back-
Cra- crack! Shikome stretches two tendrils to a nearby building, ready to pull herself across the road to fling herself at us-
"He- hey…!"
...That tiny vampire ran outside, waving an arm.
...Shikome stops in her tracks, turning to her.
"We, um… need you." Vanilla remarks plainly. "To, um, stack the plywood again…"
…
Slowly, Shikome retracted her tendrils.
Walking up to her, Shikome picked her up by the armpits, and carried her inside.
"Um…?" The tiny vampire blinked curiously at her as she was carried away…
…
I turn back to my party.
They were already some distance away, but they'd stopped when they saw what happened too.
...Genkan practiced breathing. "...Th- that was…"
...As I move for Genkan-
Maria stepped up to Mokou's body, gazing at the blood pooling under it. "N- no… she- she's dead…"
...Do we not know Mokou's immortal? Oof. Aaaa~h!
Genkan lays a hand on her chest again. "That was… too much."
Yeah, yeah it was too much. Freakin'...
...Looking up from herself, Genkan saw Maria, and then Mokou. "...Ah. The immortal…" Good, I'm not the only one who knows! That'd just be some weird shit…
...Stepping up to Genkan, I exhale.
"Hrrm…" Frowning, she lets out a sigh as she dusts her kimono a little. "That went…"
She's all rattled. Maria's all rattled. I'm all rattled. Freaki~n'...
Exhaling, I throw caution to the wind- 'cause we sure as hell just did…
I give Genkan a hug.
"Ah…" She blinks at first, before looking over at me.
...You know, I half feel this is appropriate, and I half feel it isn't. Don't know until I try, and I did, so…!
"You really tried to protect us…" Genkan speaks of my extreme caution…! "If I had approached that situation as carelessly as normal…"
"...Yeah." I just kind of nod.
"I should have listened more than I did, even." She looks over at Maria. "You dragged me down right before it shot towards me. I thought, with the immortal there…"
...Sighing again, she frowns. "...It's scary."
Oh! Ah. Maria joined and made it a group hug…!
"Kei- Keine's friend…" Sobbing, Maria buried her face in Genkan's kimono. "They killed her…"
...Whelp. We're all sad again. This freakin' village…! Aaa~h! Freakin', when I find Matt, I'm gonna al-kabong him, dude. Getting me and my fluffy friends nearly killed is where I draw the line! Next time I see him, yo, he ain't gonna know!
"Wha- what do we do…?" Maria whined into Genkan summore. "If- if Mokou can't…"
Genkan brings her arms around the both of us. "We should just… take a moment, I think. To do something less… stressful."
...There's some footsteps from nearby-
Mokou ruffles Maria's hair.
...Blinking, she lets go of Genkan and turns-
"A- aah…!?" She's surprised!
The immortal gives her a lopsided smile. "...Sorry about the whole 'dying' thing. They don't usually get a good potshot on me like that."
"Bu- but…!" Maria looks past her, at the blood at the ground. "You were…!"
"I'll have Keine make this whole thing up ta you, okay?" Mokou's smile becomes fuller. "...I just want'cha to remember this. A girl like me represents an idea…"
Holding up a hand-
Fwoom. She ignites some warm fire in it. "And ideas are bulletproof."
...The idea of undying rage, yo. Also- you stole that from a movie. But I'm not gonna intervene, 'cause this is good…!
...Maria's kind of mystified! "Wha~h…"
"More genuinely…" Genkan smiles back at her. "Mokou here is a Hourai immortal. No matter how gruesomely she is deconstructed…"
"If you blow me to itty bitty bits, I come back." Mokou summarized, sticking her hands in her pockets again. "...So, if you see me bite the big one again… y'know, don't sweat it. Kinda feels bad to have people actually care when I die." Hoh…!
"...Ok- okay!" Maria seems to have gotten that well enough!
"...I'll see someone about that hellhole later." Mokou gestured back to Small Packages. "Wasn't there one last place on this list 'a yours…?"
...Maria blinked. "Oh, right…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Tiny Tim's Motel.
…
It sure as fuck ain't no Golden Grin or Small Packages.
We're standing before a house that's smaller than our entire party is wide. I mean, fuck, it's essentially a glorified outhouse.
There's a tubby bald dude sitting before it, wearing a party hat and glasses.
...Dryly, I just saunter up to him. "...You Tiny Tim?"
...His arms folded as he sits on his peach crate, he looks up at me. "Yeah, hey, I'm Tiny Tim." You sure as hell don't sound tiny, nor like a 'Tim'...
"What's this place…?" Maria looks the wood box with a roof up and down.
"Tiny Tim's Motel." Tiny Tim told, able to tell our total confusion. "And I'm Tiny Tim."
"Good for you." I'd give him a pat on the back, but he's leaning with his back against the wall…! "...What do we do here?" I haven't a fucking clue where to start. Do we just open the door…?
"...It's a motel." He shrugs. "You sleep."
…
I open the door-
Oh. Um.
...I step inside. Wha~t.
It's like a fuckin' log cabin in here. There's a fireplace, and some doors to other rooms…
...Everyone else ends up following me in.
"Oh, yeah." Mokou just kinda accepts this. "I remember this guy. I have no fuckin' idea how this works."
"...Do you have any hints?" Maria turns to her, bewildered!
"He can sell you a specific amount of uses." Mokou summarized. Freakin'- uses? "...Each 'use' works on a door, archway, entry way, whatever… and takes you to the place you bought. And, as far as I can tell, no one else can get in here unless they're like fuckin' Yukari or use your door. The magic runs out if you bum out in it too long, though. Like, two or three days."
Is this what end-game tier space magic looks like? Holy shit. This is like… you could live here! it's a real house in the village! Probably minus modern necessities, but dayum!
"Wo~w." Maria nods at the place…
There's a big comfy chair before the fire place. The fire place seems to be burning, but the wood's not dissipating into ashes.
"I believe hermits sometimes use similar arts to disguise the location of their homes…" Genkan looks tempted to use the big chair. "Perhaps it's spacial magic."
"Nah, it's fuckin' water magic." Mokou jests. "How could it be anything but space magic?"
...This just makes me wonder more about who the hell's Tiny Tim…! Who turned him into a wizard!?
There're stairs up to a second floor; said second floor being visible from here, three doors leading to three upper rooms. In the back down here, beneath the second floor awning there seems to be a kitchen, and some other room…
I move to see the other room…
Ooh, pantry and things, with another door. I move to see what's in there-
Oh. Toilet and sink. Sink…!? This place has plumbing, my boy! Space plumbing, provided, but… yo.
...After a moment of looking around, we move back outside to speak with Tiny Tim.
"Alright, I a~m impressed." I admit! "...How much for a 'use' of that house in there?"
"Twenty-five thousand yen per use." He gives his price! Which is… a price.
...Well then. "...What's your cheapest use?" Goin' for economy!
...He looks over at the door-
Bam. The door slams shut, before swinging back open.
...The actual abode is some feet down beneath the door's actual height. It's… it's a tent. Strung up by sticks with two openings.
...Crouching down, I crawl in. There's super fake foliage out the front, the world ending almost instantly. Actually- if I just crawl out into there-
I'm back outside the door, crawling on the ground. Oh, so if you leave the space, you just get booted.
"That's five thousand yen per." Tiny Tim declared, shifting his folded arm posture.
...Well, for one thing it's a tent, but it's also a pocket dimension tent where you'll be a lot safer compared to setting up a real tent. Also, the tent's location seems to be 'fake grassland' with moderate temperature- I'd figure, despite my kimono- so yeah.
...And, y'know what? "I'll take two 'a the tents!" Ten thousand yen for two periods of ultra-safeness! Freakin'- we're gonna have to do more jobs for cash soon. I'm breakin' the bank, yo.
Giving a nod, the guy unfolds one of his arms-
He holds out two square things, with yellow, blue and red carvings and folds all over it. "Tent access. Put 'em on a door, entryway, whatever you think you can fit into, there ya go. Jus' be mindful 'a where ya put it, these last three days about."
...I wonder how much trolling potential this'd have for the entrances to institutions. Just fuck their door for like a weekend, everyone who tries to get in gets sent to tent land.
Takin' out the cash, I give it to him and accept my tent stones. Wait, this is pretty much buying freakin' cottages. So this is how that shit works…!
...Lookin' at the girls, I grin! "I just bought some tents!" Yeah, no wonder people called this guy suspicious. But, he doesn't seem bad. That, and he's not running a bar, I'm like ninety percent certain.
"...Well." Genkan takes the encounter in. "...That was less of an investigation, and more of a transaction."
"I think we're done, then…" Maria crosses the last bar off the list. "Thank god."
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...After all of that, it's almost sunset, but not quite!
Standing in the midst of the village square, we look idle and fluffy…
"Oh, yeah…" Watching the clouds pass, Maria makes some idle comments. "What happened to that girl with the hat…? Merry, you called her?"
"She retreated, dude." Yukari probably yoinked her out of there before she got insta-gibbed. Can you imagine the fallout if she actually died somehow? S'probably kinda freakin' risky to bank on game sense in a real world scenario…! Well, it's better than sending people with no chance of survival to the front.
"I assume you knew she could do that." Genkan figures, moving her gaze from the surroundings to me. "...Just as you knew the immortal was, well, immortal."
Yeah, pretty much! "...Yeah, pretty much!" Meta strategies, son. Fire Emblem and Valkyria Chronicles teach you to abuse story characters like that! Well, in Fire Emblem you'd just get an instant game over, depending, but that's besides the point.
Right now, Mokou's gone to gather up some big boys to help her do more home invasions. She'll probably round them up here when she's done, but we're not necessarily waiting on her, right now…
There we go, yo. Reimu struts towards us from one of the off roads. Mokou said she was gonna tell 'er ta meet up with us while she ran around, and she did!
...Since Reimu's approach was blunt and silent, it takes my party a moment to entirely focus on her.
"You're soft." I point at the shrine maiden…
"Hey." Looking us around, she stretches a little… "How're you guys?"
...Smiling, Maria awkwardly shifts before her. Aw.
"Worn, to put it lightly." Shiftin' her posture, Genkan looks less composed than she typically does.
"I'd figure." Beginning to dig around in her pocket, Reimu glances away for a moment… before bringing out a small coin pouch. "I had some people put this together, for you guys."
...She looks around at who to give it to! I move to respond-
Genkan slowly takes it, but not as slowly as I tried! "What is this…?"
"Some money." Reimu summarizes plainly. "...I knew I said this was voluntary, but after what you guys went through, I felt a little bad. Thank some friendly villagers for those coins, because it's not my money." The way she put emphasis on 'villagers' makes me think she just blew up boys for it…!
"Oh, right." Reimu stopped before running off. "Some of it's from Keine, too. As in, she actually donated you guys some. The rest of it's some of the confiscated money from around the place." Ho ho.
"I see…" Genkan gazes at the bag…
"Thank you…" Maria gives Reimu a fluffy thank you.
...Raising a brow, the shrine maiden turned around, before floating away. Hoo hoo…!
"...That was abrupt." Genkan began to open the bag. "Let us see…"
Aw, let's get close, dude-
Inside, instead of just coins, there's a buncha rolled up yen bills.
...After digging through them, Genkan came to a realization. "This is more than a few thousand. Well over ten thousand, even." Ooo~. Maybe we won't have to do jobs, after all!
...Closing the bag, she nods. "We'll count it later, when we can get a better look at it." Honh.
Before we can decide our next course of action- or at the very least rouse ourselves from being idle and tired, Mokou crosses back into the main square, followed by a small ensemble of freakin' lunatics, yo…
Albus is following her, drinking from a bottle.
Behind him's a dude in a suit 'a armor… oh, that's that Mike guy! Aw. If anyone can break and enter, yo, it's probably Mike!
There's also that guy with big golden armor, a big band aid on his forehead. He looks about as exhausted as we are…!
...I thought a cube was stalking them, but it was actually some generic guard holding like two big doors with both arms, lugging them along his sides. Does he just… have no weapons? Are the doors his weapons…!?
Coming up to us, Mokou stops. "...Reimu get to ya guys, yet?"
"Yeah, yo." I point at the bag that Genkan's slippin' away… "We got moony."
"...Right." She gestures to her thot patrol. "These're all the guys I've found so far."
From here, we can see someone running into the clearing from the direction they came from…!
...For all intents and purposes, they're kind of unassuming, except the helmet covers the entire face, unlike most guards. It's got this bell shape to it…! That, and this huge ass bow on the dude's back, and a pretty tall-lookin' blade, too.
"Hi, Albus!" I wave at him!
"Fuck you~." Yeah, dude!
"...And you mean to tell me these are not youkai, either?" Mike gives Mokou a skeptical glare.
"Yo, Mike!" I wave at 'em! "It's me, dude. We went on that doppelganger mission!"
...He gives me a look like he's stupefied, but then shakes his head. "Ah- yes! Bobby, right!?"
Yeah- uh huh! "Yeah, dude!"
"Don't matter if they're youkai or not." Mokou's indifferent to his boisterousness. "Bus guy, you see Fred around today?"
"...I already told ya, no." Albus glares at her.
"Just checking, 'case your booze fucked you over." Mokou dismisses his input…! "Mike, where's Meira?"
"...Somewhere." He looks to the side, sheathing a sword he had out suddenly. Freakin'... "I don't know. I don't keep track, I work independently!"
Next, Mokou gives the bell-helmeted dude a flat stare. "Feel like talkin', yet?"
...Stepping back, he does a little jump into the air, throwing his arm up as if he was proud of something, or happy.
"Guess not." Turning around, Mokou tapped that Yoroi guy on the armor. "Next house we go to, you answer the door."
"I don't take orders from weak rats like you, Fujiwara." Even his grumbling kinda bellows…!
"I don't take shit from a flammable guy." Mokou brought her arm onto his armor again. "Hell, even if you stopped me, you'd have to deal with a pissed off Reimu, and that witch. Not sure if you wanna spare a concussion again."
...Stoic and inexpressive, the angry big man stomps ahead.
The posse follows the two as they go, villagers filing out of their way as they progress down the road ahead…
…
"I feel like a nap." Maria admits!
"As do I." Facing us fully, Genkan scans the square in our direction. "I'm not normally one for such… high-energy and assertive activities. Nor getting nearly killed, that's usually quite low on the priorities."
Yea~h. It's pretty much sunset now anyway, so we might as well. Also, freakin', where'd Ha-chan run off to? Maybe Shikome's presence back at the bar of doom scared her off. Fairies- especially Ha-chan- are pretty acute about that sorta stuff. Most of the time, anyway!
...Maria begins to lead us. If I bring us somewhere, I'm freakin' bustin' a boy's house, so…! "We'll use Marcus's house. It's pretty safe…"
As we move-
"Hic…!" Oh.
Ha-chan stumbles out of an alley, holding a bottle. "Hehehe~..."
Drunk fairy, son.
...She slowly approaches us, wobbly on her legs. "He~y… Brad-ku~n…"
"Hello, friend." I greet her softly…
She jabs the bottle towards me. "Try!"
"You're too late, yo!" I point at 'er! "For you see, I am already drunk!"
...She blinks in surprise!
"That's your secret, is it?" Allowing herself a small smile, Genkan drifts ahead, as Maria moves past the drunk fairy-
Ha-chan latches onto Maria's arm as she passes.
When Maria tugs on her arm, Ha-chan slowly floats into the air, as if weightless and anchored onto the mage's arm. "Hi, friend…"
"Hi." Maria continues forward as Ha-chan slowly encroaches on her. "Um…"
...After a slow moment, Ha-chan hugs onto her.
...Maria slowly compresses! "Why…?"
Seeing this, Genkan moves to negotiate, moving to gently tug the fairy off…
"Nnn~...!" Ha-chan tries to hang on! "No~...!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 78
PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Village Revolutionary, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Hard Winter - A earth/ice elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice! Allows the user to cast Ice Shard. Extends combo length by one artificially. Allows the user to jump out out of combos smoothly, and leave frost in their trail.
NON-EQUIP SKILLS:
Lucky Star - Non-elemental attack that does very random damage to one target. Star that drops from abo~ve!
Scent Pillow - A spell taught by Koakuma. Summons a pillow endowed with the user's love fluids… which, for males, is, euh…
World's Wimpiest Fireball - A spell learned from a book given to me by Patchy. Summons a really, genuinely terrible fireball that only ignites the weakest of fairies.
Double Jump - A skill I got somehow! Allows the user to jump twice. Avoid fall damage, maybe!
Perspective Holder - Um…? I am the primary perspective of this story!
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - A small bag that always seems to be conveniently unaffected by whatever weird crap happens to me. Never enlarges, almost always gives me what I need if I remember it's there. Infinite inventory space. I would like to know where it actually puts all my stuff though…
==o==
WEAPONS:
Swordbreaker - Dark elemental plant hanger. Boosts the power of dark skills. Has a curvy, fancy design that lets it easily counter swords! It better, with a name like 'Swordbreaker'. Provides a weak but passive boost to defense, magical defense, and evade. Lowers the attack of foes as its on-impact effect.
Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! May cast Flash, an attack that blinds; works best on darkness elementals and youkai. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.
Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can cast Gust. By the addition of a steel block, its attack and magic attack increased slightly. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!
Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Ignites stuff on impact. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle, allowing the user to cast Flamethrower Plus! Allows the user to cast Fume.
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Can produce limitless fresh water. Boosts the power of water skills. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style; physical attack increased, physical defense lowered. User bleeds out faster. Can cast Revenge, an attack that increases in power the lower the user's health is. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to let it cut!
Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.
Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Lowers defense slightly. With added electric and holy charms, the hanger is slightly electric and holy elemental. Is able to fluidly chain attacks for stringing together longer aerial and ground combos. Allows the user to fluidly transition from combo to jumping. Allows forced aerial combo support. Grants the user the ability to air slide. Increased jump height when running. Gives motion sickness with avid use!
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…
==o==
ARMOR:
Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business, son. One hundred fifty percent ice resistance: fifty percent of the damage goes into my health pool instead! Dunno 'bout icicles and stuff, though. Fifty percent freeze resistance… not that freezing will hurt with this thing on. Fifty percent dark resistance. Negative fifty percent fire and burning resistance. Hopefully hides you a bit when navigating in the freakin' brush...
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Seventy-five percent time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!
Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Lets me be a Touhou, too!
Yellow Racecar Helmet - It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! Fifty percent sun resistance, one hundred percent freezing and blinding resistance. Also gives immunity to electrical stunning. It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! One hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent freezing resistant. Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it. Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.
Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' helmet. Fifty percent blinding resistant! When worn with the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit, it also confers immunity to burning and poison, along with another one hundred percent electricity resistance. Yo…!
Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes! Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.
MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field. For awhile only the user(s) of this badge may pick them up, but after a grace period anyone can. Extends prize grabbing range!
Sun Badge - Fifteen percent sun resistance when equipped. Fifty percent resistance to blinding and electrical stunning. Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare when worn.
==o==
CONSUMABLES/OTHER:
Twenty seven thousand, nine hundred Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have!
Four Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Hina's Bad Luck Talisman - I remembe~r! Upgrades a weapon to debuff luck on strike and stuff!
Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!
Sacred Eagle Feather - A gift from a rambler. It's… sentimental, I think? Help.
Some Fancy Key - A key lent to me by Brittany. Wha- why. What's it for…!?
Youkai Exterminator Badge - I still have this, dude! Yo ho ho! Allows me to not be considered a youkai by most guardsmen!
PARTY:
London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!
PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.
==o==
Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning.
SKILLS:
Ice Control - Freely use ice to make stuff. Inherent one hundred percent ice resistance.
Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.
Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.
Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.
Triple Glacier - See above, but on three enemies! As such, costs triple the mana!
Ice Spin - Spins and lashes out with chilling frost. Probably just an extension of her normal frost powers and not an actual skill…
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. Generates a chunk in an enemy's body which proceeds to freeze the air around it. Power depends on the user.
Snow - Make it snow locally. Very minor ambient ice damage to everyone on the battlefield, including allies. Has a low chance to instantly freeze someone for no reason.
Yuki-onna's Embrace - Hug. Binds target close to her. Makes the target tired, severely lowers accuracy and magical defense, and makes them comfortable. Skill may only be performed by yuki-onna. Negative facets reduced by ice and freezing resist. Someone with over a hundred resistance will be buffed and healed by it…!
Yuki-onna's Entombment - Final, optional stage of the hug…! Guaranteed instant death inflicted by the draining of vitality. Heals the user for the heat taken from the target. Does not work well on bosses or the instant death resistant. Instant death proc is nullified if the target's ice or freezing resistance is over fifty percent. Skill may only be performed by yuki-onna.
Other Skills - Probably has more spells, but freakin'... I dunno her like a textbook!
INVENTORY:
Absolute Zero Kimono - A better version of the stock yuki-onna kimono. Two hundred ice resistance, although since one hundred of that is inherently from Genkan, she only gains an additional one hundred percent. Gives her two hundred total, though! One hundred percent fire and burning weakness.
Two thousand yen - Her remaining total after spending money on our upgrades.
Bagged Money - Some money Reimu got for us, to pay for our irreversible trauma. She's friendly, dude. We haven't counted it out, yet!
I dunno - What would I~ have if I was a sexy ice woman?
[unknown spaces remaining]
==o==
Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Used to run the most impoverished bar ever, but that fell under or something. Really low self-esteem! Resistances and weaknesses depend on equipment. Can cast basic elemental spells!
INVENTORY:
Pine Frost Staff - Also good for bonking things! Twenty five percent ice resistance, one hundred percent freezing resistance, allows the user to cast Blizzara and Ice Shard, and boosts the power of ice skills. Negative fifty percent burning resistance. Made with pine wood and an icy reagent.
Wood Staff - Good for bonking things!
Casual Freeze Clothes - Casual, neon villager garb. Bright yellow shirt with a blue snowflake stitched onto the front, a bright blue skirt, and a tan vest. Looks about as garish as your regular Touhou, now! Fifty percent ice resistant. Wearer is immune to freezing.
Magical Lens - A lens that shoots la~ser bea~ms! ...When you input mana into it, anyway, apparently. Gift from Marcus Kirisame!
[Travel Bag] - Inventory that exists! Does not take up inventory because it is inventory. Eight slots.
Two Mana Potions - Guess wha~t? It heals, except mana!
[four spaces remaining]
==o==
Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - Hello again, friend! You're fluffy. Healed by electric magic. Immune to electric stunning!
SKILLS:
Little Zap - Basic electric magic. Zaps a target twice with static from above!
Random Electric - When pressured, uses random electric spells that exist.
Electric Control - With true power, she's able to stun opponents into submission by touching them, apparently.
INVENTORY:
Hana's Fairy Maid Uniform - Stock standard uniform from the mansion! Cyan-tinted in places to match her hair color. Honh...
==o==
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
another fun chapter yo
we got to get molested at the golden grin, meet TINY TIM, almost died to shikome, yo ho ho
...y'know i don't necessarily have as big of a shpeel about my quality and decisions this time
we got more characters so attention divided to every character per scene is a slight iffy
i wanna know how i did on the more emotional bits since this is probably the most tactful i've been
the slice of life combined with general progression is probably a margin awkward but the world's more consistent - w -
admittedly some of these events aren't strictly KNEE-SLAPPIN' HUMOR but that wasn't the intent so - w - i've said this a lot, this fic's about a lot more than just humor, especially now, but it has good humor where it comes down to humor, i'm sure
oh yeah that reminds me i do have some announcements to make
as always, see you all next time!
Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays! / Happy New Year! / Happy WINTER HOLIDAY(S)
~A FREAKIN SKOOLATON
==== FIRST ANNOUNCEMENT ====
i have… REVISED the first SIX chapters of this story! plot-wise, they end with the same equips and positions per-chapter, but all the scenes between are new and revised, polished and sparkling, so forth! personally, i'd recommend giving them a read over even if you're still caught up, because i just like how i did the new old scenes.
on a more minor note the start of chapter seven was slightly cut down for compatibility with chapter six
by comparison the pace in these chapters is a lot slower because parties move slower than one boy; daz about it
==== OH, AND BY THE WAY… SECOND ANNOUNCEMENT ====
we have a discord now as of the time of this batch; the link will just be plastered about the first chapter's AN and this batch's ANs because yeah
and also on my profile
https SEMICOLON SLASH SLASH SON discord DOHT gg SLASH mcVps2R
if you know how discord invite links go you only need that last bit; sorry it's so ugly but fanfiction DOT net is deathly scared someone's gonna link to kiddy porn so we can't have nice things
