Ch. 4 Sidewalk Dance, September Heat
(CLARE)
When Bruce first started his abuse I thought I'd be living in that hell, as a shell of myself, until Bruce left the house. Or until I got the courage to run or he died. Instead, looking at myself in the mirror the morning of my first day of my grade ten year I feel confident, excited and happy!
"Clare we have to go," Lucas hollers up the stairs.
"Coming," I call back pushing one of my curls behind my ear.
"Have a good day Honey," Evelyn smiles handing me my lunch. "I'm working a double, I'll be home late."
"Thanks Evelyn, I'll see you tonight," I grin and hug her before leaving with Lucas.
"I'll pick you up and take you to dance when school is out," Lucas says as he pulls up to the front steps of DeGrassi.
"Thanks for the ride big brother," I smile kissing his cheek. I first called him big brother in June, he beamed then and he still does.
"Have a good day," he says as I open the door, "and hey," he calls and I poke my head back in, "if anyone give you trouble you call me."
I roll my eyes and get out of the car, waving to Lucas as he drives away. I'm about to go inside when I see Sav's car pull in so I wait on the steps for Alli. They returned from India a few days ago but I didn't get to see them. With the time difference the two of us only emailed over the summer.
"CLARE!" Alli squeals when she sees me. By the look on Sav's face when she does I think she hurt his ears. She runs over and hugs me tight, nearly squeezing the life out of me. "You look hot girl, you filled out! Where's your braids and glasses?" Alli asks as Sav catches up to us.
"Before Jane left for Stanford she took me to get my hair cut. It was time for something new, I'd had long hair since I was little. When I went to my eye doctor last time he said I qualified for a study of laser eye surgery on minors. I looked into it all and it looked great, so Evelyn and Lucas signed the papers. I haven't needed glasses in six weeks."
"You look really great Clare, and happy, which is the most important thing," Sav says.
"Thanks Sav," I grin just as a car pulling into the parking lot catches pretty much everyone's attention.
"What kind of freak drives an ancient hearse to school?" Alli asks. The hearse, that looks to be from seventies, parks in a spot and boy gets out. He has longer black hair, he's dressed in black too, which matches the feeling of the hearse. I can see many rings on his fingers even from here, and black bracelets on his wrist. He wears a smirk to all the kids gaping and whispering about him.
"I don't know, I think he's cute," I remark and Alli gasps in my ear.
"You just called a boy cute! I can't believe it! Are you ready for another boyfriend? Even the new emo kid?" Alli asks.
"Slow down Alli I said he's cute, that's a far cry from wanting to date," I remark.
"I'll take what I can get," she shrugs putting her arm around my shoulders just as the boy is coming up the stairs. He looks at us, his eyes locking onto mine like a sniper scope on a rifle. I can't help but be lost in the jade green depths, and bite my lip in spite of myself. The boy smirks again, I get butterflies in my stomach, and then fear crawls up my spine remembering what Bruce did. I do my best to shake them both away.
"Let's go inside," I comment as the new boy opens the doors.
Sav parts from us as soon as we're in while Alli and I go off to find our lockers. After making sure we can open our lockers, we put a few things in and then go back out front to find our other friends. When we get there we see two more new boys with a commanding woman who seems to be their mother. Or at least mother to one of them, she and the taller boy both have dark hair and olive skin. The smaller boy has brown hair and light skin. I wonder if they are together or not.
"Yumm, that's a new boy I want to get to know," Alli grins looking at the taller olive skinned boy and licking her lips.
"Alli," I laugh shaking my head.
"What? I'll get with tall dark and adorable, you get with emo boy with the striking eyes and sexy smirk. We'll double date, it will be a wonderful year, we'll rule this school."
"Alli, I'm not ready for a boyfriend again let alone a date. Not to mention we don't even know their names," I point out.
"I'll find out their names, you get yourself psyched up for a date," Alli grins mischievously. As soon as the woman that must be their mom hugs them both and leaves Alli begins sauntering over to the new boy she's set her sights on.
"A date?" Owen asks as he and Fitz come to my sides, "Who are we dating?"
"Yeah, who are we gonna scare the pants off of?" Fitz questions.
"Guys," I huff and roll my eyes. I know why they're doing it and that it has everything to do with Bruce, but not that Bruce asked them to keep guys away from me. It's what Bruce did and their guilt over it, and Lucas asking them to keep an eye on me at school. It's just the two of them at DeGrassi now with Johnny at U of T. "When, rather if, I'm ready to date or be that close to a guy again I'll let you know. I'll also tell the guy to be prepared for my brother and his two, or possibly three, friends to terrify him. Right now though, I'm not, I don't know that I ever will be."
"Sure, you will, you've been doing great," Owen encourages as I stop walking and lean against the wall.
I'm suddenly feeling ill as memories begin to flood me. I close my eyes and try to breathe as Bruce's voice floods my ears. "You're mine, no one else will ever want you. An ugly skinny geek like you, no one else will want you. I'm doing you a favor Clare. You belong to me, after I'm done no one else will ever want to touch you."
My breathing gets ragged and tears are threatening to break from my eyes. I look at my feet as Owen and Fitz surround me, shielding me from everyone. Fitz puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Breathe Clare," Fitz says in a soft voice, "breathe you're okay. Don't think about it, don't think about him, he can't hurt you, not anymore."
"Who'd want to date me anyway?" I barely whisper.
"That's Bruce's voice not yours," Owen tells me, "don't listen. You've been doing great, and you look amazing this year."
"Yeah, you're a knockout this year. We have our work cut out for us this year protecting you from all the guys that are bound to ask you out," Fitz adds.
His comment makes me smile and I force out a deep breath. "I'm okay now," I assure them, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"Come on, we'll walk you to class," Owen says, putting his arm around me loosely and draping his hand on my shoulder.
"We'll see you at lunch," Fitz tells me when they drop me at writer's craft.
I smile at my friends and go in the classroom selecting a desk. I take a desk in the center, easy view of the entire classroom, and with the surgery I see so much better, so I don't have to be as close to the front. Just as I'm getting settled I see movement from the corner of my eye and look over. The new boy that drove that hearse to school saunters in and smirks at me. He takes the desk right in front of mine, all the other desks are empty so he did it intentionally. I bite my lip, feeling butterflies rush to my stomach, while my heart starts to pound. He's cute, but having that attention is also making me nervous.
"Hey, is this writer's craft?" A voice asks from the doorway, I look over to see one of the other new boys. The shorter one that was near the office with the one Alli has set her sights on. "This map is a bit confusing."
"You found it, and you have our choice of desks," I smile.
"I'm Adam," he grins, sitting at the desk next to me.
"Clare," I smile back.
"Eli," he smirks and then grins when he catches sight of Adam's binder. "You're into The Goon and Dead Hand?" Eli asks excitedly.
"Yeah, I love them," Adam replies. They start talking about The Goon which I gather is a comic book, and I check email from my phone. As soon as the bell rings the class fills up quickly.
"Hello class and welcome to writer's craft, you were all admitted to this class based on previous work because it is not an easy class. We have two new students with us this year Elijah Goldsworthy," Mrs. Dawes says motioning to him.
"Call me Eli," he says, giving a wave, and even though I can't see him I'm pretty sure he's smirking.
"Also new to DeGrassi this year is Adam Torres, Adam along with Clare Edwards are our only two grade ten students," Mrs. Dawes says and now all attention is on us. Adam grins while I give a shy wave and look at my desk, I had enough notoriety last year.
"I wonder if all my teachers will single me out," Adam remarks in a low voice while Mrs. Dawes takes attendance.
She spends most of class talking about authors and writing, going over the syllabus and then pairs us off to edit each other's work this semester. I'm excited and terrified when I get paired with Eli. She gives us the last ten minutes of class to get to know our editing partners.
"You must be pretty smart to be in a tough grade 11 class," Eli remarks leaning on Adam's desk. Adam is at the front of the room with his editing partner.
"Yeah, I've always been in advanced classes, there was a whole gifted program last year. The school board decided not to keep it this year, budget issues. Where'd you move from?"
"Just Mississauga, we bought a new house closer to my dad's work," Eli replies.
"Oh, what's your dad do?"
"He's a shock jock on morning radio," Eli grins.
"Oh, cool. Why do you drive a hearse to school?"
"Hey Morty is a fine classic hearse, and he fits my personality."
"What dark and gloomy?"
"Yeah, pretty much," Eli smirks, "and you? Tell me all about beautiful Clare Edwards."
"What do you want to know?" I ask nervously. I know he's not going to ask if I was ever raped or something, but I'm still worried. I'm not that inclined to talk about myself, but don't want to be rude either.
"What do your parents do?"
"My dad's a tax lawyer, my mom's an accountant, they met in college."
"That's cool, my parents met at one of Dad's concerts, he had a band in high school. They never got very big, but they put out a couple of albums. My mom's a chef at a vegan restaurant downtown. So, aside from writing what do you like to do?"
"I like school, math and science especially, and dance. I love to dance, I'm taking a bunch of classes," I reply smiling at the thought of dancing.
"Really? I'll have to come watch you preform sometime," Eli smiles.
"Do you miss your old school?" I inquire hoping to change the subject.
"Not really, I think I'm going to like it here," Eli says giving me that smirk again.
I bite my lip and look at my notebook, not the change of subject I was going for. "What about you? Hobbies besides writing?"
"I love all the arts, I'm thinking about joining drama club."
The bell rings and I'm grateful to be able to get away from the questions. I wasn't exactly expecting an interview on my first day at school. Especially from a new boy unaware of all the drama around me last year. Which actually is probably a good thing.
"Okay, any idea where physics with Mr. Betenkamp is?" Adam questions as we leave class.
"I have that class next," I tell him and Adam smiles with relief.
"Adam," Alli grins when we walk into class, "I'm having a party Friday night you and your brother should definitely come. Clare will be there, she's staying over."
I know what she's doing, and I never agreed to come to a party or sleep over. I'm sure Lucas and Evelyn will be okay with it though, as it is at Alli's house.
"Cool, I'll talk to Drew, we'll have to check with our parents," Adam replies.
"Of course," Alli smiles "I already invited Dave and a few others, but promised Sav I'd keep it small."
"I take it that your parents don't know about this party then?" I ask.
"Party with boys, no way, they're going out of town. They'll be totally cool with you sleeping over though," Alli smiles.
(LUCAS)
"Hey B, long time," I greet her when I see her coming out of DeGrassi. Bianca went to Lakehurst, but shortly after everyone transferred she was arrested and she's been in juvie. I wasn't even sure she'd go to DeGrassi when she got out, her aunt lives pretty far.
"Didn't Jane graduate? What are you hanging around DeGrassi for?" She questions.
"Picking up my other sister," I reply just as I see Clare exiting the school with a boy I don't recognize. Fitz and Owen are behind her though, with another boy that must be new.
"Other sister?" Bianca asks and I nod my head toward Clare coming down the stairs.
"Hey, ready to go?" I question.
"Yep," Clare smiles.
"When did you get another sister?" Bianca inquires.
"Long story, I'll tell you some other time, right now I have to get Clare to dance," I reply.
"Bye Adam, see you tomorrow," Clare grins at the boy she left with.
"Bye Clare," he smiles back.
"See you tomorrow Clare," Fitz grins closing her door for her while Owen waves.
"Make a new friend?" I question as I begin driving.
"Yeah, he's in all my classes, he's really nice and smart, we have similar interests. His brother Drew was the one standing with Owen and Fitz. He's in grade eleven, there's another new grade eleven too, he's in our writer's craft class. He's nice and we also share a lot of similar interests, his name is Eli," she tells me. The way she grins I know she likes Eli, I'm not opposed to her dating, but after K.C. and especially Bruce I'm going to be extra cautious about her dating. "Alli's throwing a party Friday, she wants me to come and stay the night. I'm sure Sav can bring me home Saturday."
"That's fine," I nod. It's been an adjustment to be the guardian of a teenager, let's face it, I wasn't exactly an involved dad with Izzy and she wasn't anywhere close to being a teenager. Since Mom works a lot and we're both Clare's guardians a lot of these kinds of decisions become mine. Given that I did pretty much whatever I wanted as a teenager, being responsible is still pretty hard for me. "Will you need a ride to her house after school Friday or will you just go home with her?"
"I'll probably just go home with her," Clare replies picking up the protein shake I brought her. She'd always drink one before her dance classes over the summer and I was fairly certain she didn't bring one to school with her. "Thanks Lucas, I'll see you after class," she smiles getting out of the car when we arrive at the dance studio. Today is her last Monday afternoon class. Next week she starts a Tuesday afternoon jazz class, and still has contemporary on Wednesdays and lyrical hip hop on Sundays.
I park in the parking lot and go next door to the pool hall where I always hang out while she's in class. Usually, I don't go back until she's about to get out of class or she'll come find me here when she gets out. There's something I need to tell her, something I'm kind of avoiding telling her because I know how it's going to affect her. With this on my mind I only stay at the pool hall for half an hour before going back to the dance studio. There's no window to peek in, but families can go in and sit in chairs along one edge. I've never watched her before, but today I do and I'm somewhat mesmerized. She's beautiful when she dances and seems to lose herself in the dance.
"Did you actually stay and watch?" Clare asks coming over to me when class is over.
"For the last half of class, you were beautiful," I tell her and she smiles. "You have much homework?"
"Just a little."
"Why don't we stop and get some dinner?"
"Sounds good, I'm hungry."
I try to tell her at dinner, and when we get home, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do so. She's so happy, so light, I can't ruin that. I avoid telling her all night, convincing myself if I tell her now she won't sleep. That she'll have a nightmare and I should wait. Tuesday morning I take her to school as usual, but stop at The Dot, which I don't usually do.
"Hey Lucas, morning Clare," Spin greets when we walk in.
"Hi Spinner," we greet together.
"Can I get a large mocha and two donuts, and whatever Clare wants to drink, but get her a chocolate croissant," I tell him.
"A medium mint mocha," Clare says to Spin and then she turns to me. "Okay, what's going on? You watched me at dance last night, took me to dinner, stayed with me most of the night. Now we're stopping for breakfast and you ordered me chocolate."
"Your lawyer called yesterday," I admit while Spinner starts making our coffee, "Bruce is being released Thursday morning."
"Oh," Clare says quietly and I see her physically shrink a little. Instinctively I put an arm around her and hold her close to my side.
"He won't get near you, he's not allowed on school grounds and he wouldn't dare come to the house. The lawyer is drawing papers for a restraining order, we can go sign on your lunch."
"Yeah, we should do that," she nods sort of absentmindedly. "What about the ravine?" Clare questions as Spinner hands us our coffee.
"What about it?" I ask back while Spinner cocks an eyebrow.
"Bruce hung out at the ravine a lot, what if he goes back there. It's not school grounds but it's close, he could watch me from there a…"
"Clare," I say turning her to look at me so she'll breathe, "we'll make sure he's not welcome back at the ravine. I'm sure he has no friends there any longer but I'll make sure of it. Come on we should get you to school, see ya Spin."
Spin says goodbye and we get back in my car, I drop Clare at the steps. I watch until she's inside and then get out my phone texting Johnny, Owen and Fitz in a group text.
Lucas: Bruce is getting out on Thursday, I just told Clare. I don't know how she'll be at school today but I'll be here before lunch. Owen and Fitz watch her in school, make sure she's in school and doesn't run. Let me know if she seems like she needs to come home. Johnny, can you meet me after your first class? I want to make sure that if Bruce is seen by anyone that hangs at the ravine they'll tell us.
It takes a moment but the replies come in at nearly the same time.
Owen: We're already at the school we'll find her and keep an eye on her.
Fitz: We'll stick close to her all day.
Johnny: I'll meet you at The Dot by eleven. How's Clare?
Lucas: She's trying not to show it but she's scared. She hasn't really thought about Bruce for months, now I'm sure it's all she can think about.
Fitz: We got her, don't worry I can make her smile.
Johnny: To be expected. I'll see you at eleven.
Lucas: Thanks, all of you.
Knowing Clare is in good hands I return home. I lie down for a couple of hours trying to take a nap but I can't. I get up and shower, and go back to The Dot, I hang out all morning, sipping coffee. Spin understands, and we talk when the café isn't busy. Johnny shows up just after 10:30 guess he was anxious too. Spinner gives him some coffee and we walk to the ravine. Reese is here not surprising, Bianca is here too, and several others I know, for a lot of them this is school.
"What are you two doing here? Neither of you even go here anymore," Bianca remarks.
"Hey B, good to see you," Johnny nods to her.
"All of you," I call getting everyone's attention, "Bruce the Moose is getting released Thursday. I know most of you already know what happened and if you see him anywhere near here call us or Owen or Fitz. Bruce is not welcome here or anywhere near the school, understood?"
"If Brucy shows his face here again he'll get a beating like the one you four gave him, then we'll call you," Reese comments. Several people nod in agreement, a few just look confused but warning looks from me or Johnny has them nodding.
"Reese, can you keep eyes and ears out? No idea where Bruce will go when he's released but if he has any friends left we want to know about it," I request.
"No problem," Reese nods.
"Someone want to tell me why you two hate Bruce now?" Bianca requests.
"I need some more coffee, you want some, I'll fill you in," I tell Bianca.
"Yeah, coffee sounds good," Bianca says.
"There's a few places around Bruce might hang out I'll go to them, make sure they know to call if he's seen after tomorrow. I have to be back on campus in an hour," Johnny remarks.
"Thanks Johnny, I gotta work tonight and Mom is working a double, you think you could stay over tonight, be with Clare?" I ask.
"Yeah, of course, I'll be over at your place by three," Johnny smiles.
Johnny walks farther into the ravine, Bianca and I walk out and back to The Dot. We order some coffee from Spin and sit at a table in the corner. I tell her what Bruce did, how I put it together finally, and how we took care of Bruce.
"Now he's getting out, and he might be smart and stay away, but I doubt it. Knowing Bruce the way I unfortunately do, he's more likely to try and find Clare and intimidate her. He's already haunted her in nightmares, now he's actually getting out."
Bianca reaches across the table and squeezes my hand, "I don't really know Clare, but she seems like a strong girl. She'll get through this, and she's got all of you. Who knew you'd be such a hero, you were always such a delinquent ass in school."
I smile a little and squeeze her hand back, then I realize the time. "I gotta pick up Clare, we're going to the lawyers to sign papers for a restraining order."
"Shit is it lunch time? Hey Spin can I get a cheeseburger and chocolate shake?" Bianca asks.
"No problem," Spin nods.
"See you guys later," I wave as I leave the café.
"Hey Lucas," Bianca calls as I'm at the door and I turn back to her, "it's kind of inspiring to see that you made good with your life. Gives me hope for mine. Maybe we can get lunch one of these days."
"I'd like that."
