(issa MATT MATT MAN MAN)

Birds chirp lightly in the distance, gravel and dirt crunching under our feet as we make our way across the plain planes that distance the village from the bamboo woods. I hardly remember the last time I set foot into these woods, if I did. I'm pretty sure I ran around while bombs went off and yukkuri exploded, which may or may not have been a genuine take of the bamboo and wildlife.

I don't quite remember the bamboo on the outside being such a thick shell, however. Having grown up in suburbia, I was never quite one for rummaging through dubious brush, and considering this brush, it's quite dubious. Even further amplified by the fact I am now a loli, so now ferns are about half my size.

...Also, be 'we', I mean simply me and Shikome. This is a trip on business. We shall find Eientei, or die trying. Or, perhaps, the forest will die as we're trying, considering Shikome's interaction with plants up until this point. That vague range sounds good, so this should be a win-win situation.

Shikome casually steps up to the outside of the immeasurably tall bamboo. It looks smaller from afar, almost suspiciously so. The most dubious of foliage.

I'm not sure what to expect, so we'll just get to the thick of things. Which is quite thick, I'd like to add…

...After looking up just a little, Shikome reaches forward towards the nearest bamboo clumps, and grabs a handful.

Instantly, they begin to shimmer from their healthy green down to straw yellow, as if the color was simply draining...

Quickly changing from straw to shades of grey and black, they-

Fwi- fwish- kr- krack- fwish… -shift out of the way. The ferns and grass on the immediate outside around them also change in tint, the grass becoming something blacker than even decayed, dead matter. The ferns half submerge into the ground, becoming brown, their leaves ceasing to interact with the dirt beneath; they seem to defy the laws of collision. I'm not sure how that works.

...She looks back towards me, as if beckoning me to follow.

I look down at the evil foliage, which is about ten to one million zillion times more dubious, so it's sort of drawing my apprehension. "...I'd like to not be killed by these friends of yours." I gesture to the ferns that are sinking into the floor.

...So she just stares at me more, before proceeding without me.

...Hrmm. I've kind of come here to progress through the woods with her, not let her loose on the general populace.

Against my better judgment, I precariously skip after her, more to not make contact with the foliage than to emphasize my loli goodness. "Hup…!" I leap…!

On the upside, she's moved the worst of it out of the way. On the downside, the stout plants are kind of intimidating.

"Hup…!" I gain surprising air with each mini-leap. That might be because I have little mass to begin with…

Kra- krack, fwi- fwish. As she simply steps forward deeper into the woods, more of the bamboo stains to yellow, then inky black. It gains crisp, ill edges as it churns the dirt beneath to make us a path.

"Hup!" I feel like an asshole just leaping along like this. "Hup!" Ow. Okay… with that, I'll stop. Too demanding of my loli-legs, which turn out not to be that endured…

...As I walk along, the plants don't seem to be killing or eating me, or infecting me or whatever evil plants do.

Kra- kra~ck! Fwi- krack! Pretty quickly, we dig a consistent tunnel into the woods. Looking back, I can see the rotting plant matter that leaves Shikome's effective radius, as well as the looming black of whatever she still controls.

Crack- krack- fwi- fwish- crack…! I have no idea how long this will go on for, but this should get us past that annoying illusionary part of this forest.

It's impossible to hear anything other than the churning of soil and the ripping, shifting of corrupted bamboo.

After a moment-

Shu~nk, shu~nk, shu~nk.

Shikome stepped on a pressure plate, and an oddly mossy stone path before us split apart, to reveal a pool of murky water down at the bottom.

...Stepping around the side-

Kra- kra- kra- krack! Shikome's condition parted some of the super densely packed clumps that had grown around the stone water trap. They'd almost grown to intentionally make a puzzle of it, but with this, we can simply bypass it and perhaps ruin it.

...After I follow her around, we end up in a small, uneven clearing, with nothing but soil, sticks and stouter bamboo clumps littering the general area, before the foliage comes back and then some.

Once Shikome steps into the midst of this clearing, ignoring the smaller stuff-

Crack! She snapped something she stepped on-

Fwish! ...A rope snapped up around one of her ankles and caught it, but it didn't pull her. Looking down, she grabbed onto it-

Cra- crack! With a tug, she snapped the branch the trap device was attached to. A big bamboo limb fell down and rolled off of her… before she simply proceeded forward, unaffected.

It's sort of satisfying to have simply been able to proceed so far into here without a huge headache. Memory says that it's a trial otherwise.

As Shikome proceeds towards the other end of the clearing, and I move around the corrupted branch of the trap she broke-

"He~y, he~y!"

Fwish! A blue-haired earth rabbit girl leaps from the nearby bush, clad in a generic pink outfit not dissimilar from Tewi's. "Wha- what're you doing…!?"

Shikome holds her arms out as she nears the opposing bamboo-

Kri- krack- fwish fwish fwish- krack…! The bamboo begins to churn, whine and turn as she cleaves us a path further-

"He~y!" She yells at us again. "What're you doing to the bamboo!?"

"Who ca~res." I counter, with more sass than anticipated. "It'll grow back." Probably.

...Propping her arms to her sides, she fluffs up. "Dangi~t! We don't need a Mokou two! Infernos are stupid enough, and now we got-..." She gestures to all the black stuff with her arms, using rapid, repeated and exasperated motions. "Nnh!? Nhnhnh!?" She's devolved into grunting at me.

"No one cares." Get the hell outta here.

Shikome continues corrupting foliage both big and small, and I begin to follow her…

The rabbit follows behind us, getting closer to me, glaring. I sort of… pass through one of the weird ferns, ignoring the weird feeling they emanate.

She moves to brush past the fern herself-

Silently, the orange-black leaves of the fern pass straight through her thigh. "Aa- aa~h!" Shutting her eyes, she-

Fwish- woosh!

Shikome's behind me, extending a tendril up.

However, the bunny's already across the clearing. A fluid series of red streaks flow from the numerous new serrations along her thigh and hip. "Wha- what the hell, what the hell…" Hyperventilating, she stares back at us like a deer in the headlights-

Shikome happens towards her, looking like someone pressed fast-forward on a VCR during a walk cycle-

"Engh!" Springing against the ground, the bunny soars into the untouched bamboo along the sides of the sizable, shaft-esque clearing. Droplets of blood fleck off in her wake.

...Shikome looks tempted to chase after her, but between the rabbit's speed and where I am-

Oh, she's really getting ready to jump- hey hold on. "Shikome." I am not going to be able to find her if she literally runs off chasing rabbits.

...Ceasing her leaping motions, she looks over at me.

"Try to not lose track of me." I state. Actually- "Or to let me lose track of you."

...That last line seemed to have done it. She begins to move and continue the progress we'd been making prior to the silly wabbit.

Reaching the trees, she begins to make friends with them again, extending tendrils instead of her hands to make contacts this time.

Kri- krack, krack krack. Fwishfwishfwishfwish… Like this, they decay and writhe out of the way.

This forest is too dark for its own good. I don't mean what Shikome's doing either; I just mean it's really dark because of the overgrowth. We're probably doing this thing a favor by marching through it and culling the surplus.

I do have things to be doing at Eientei. Considering people's stances on death in Gensokyo, I might want to advise against the actual death of rabbits. Just because, you can never be too careful about other's irrationality.

"If we see another rabbit," I begin to make my request, "avoid killing it. Or, rather, try your hardest to not kill it." Anything else is fair game.

...If she heard me, she didn't give me much more than a glancing look in response. Oh well. If she murders a bunch of things on the way, hopefully fate won't dictate that anyone's needlessly upset about it.

While the forestry churns-

Plap. A cream pie flew from the shifting forestry ahead, splatting Shikome in the face.

...Hmm. She seems to have stopped responding.

CRA- CRACK- CRACK! Thrusting her tendrils into the woods ahead, she flings herself vigorously into the bamboo.

...Well. That kind of leaves me just over here. I can hear bamboo snapping and leaves rustling some distance away.

"Hey…"

Fwi- fwish, fwish…

...I turn behind me, and see that blue-haired earth rabbit from before. Some leaves were bandaged around her serrated leg, and she was glaring ahead at me. "What the hell're yer problems? Some kinda youkai fucks, waltzin' into here..." Her language took a sharp turn from before.

"I've got nothing to do with this." I raise a dainty hand at her passively.

"Yeahah, okay." She grins back at me. "Well, now that we've got your hungry monster away from you…"

She begins to step towards me. "I think I'mma take you in fer questionin'!" Her leg isn't bothering her…?

Hmm. I do have a number of scissors I haven't used in forever. On the other hand, I'm a cuddly loli. I'm not sure if that's an advantage or not.

"...Can you read me my Miranda rights first?" I ask her for some legal clarification.

"...The hell're you talkin' 'bout mandarins for?" I guess she can't. "Alright, c'mere!"

I blink-

In the next moment she's before me, sliding down into a crouching position in order to grapple me-

Okay. Curling up myself, I throw a leg up to make that a less than viable option for her.

The leaves rustle as she throws herself into a roll beside me, with inhuman acceleration. I fumble for any scissors-

"Hop…!" She performs a spear tackle up from the floor, her head and arms coming for me first-

Thud! "Oof…!" Agh. The clumsy landing of it causes us to both tumble…

While I'm on the ground, she flails for my hands- so I swing the scissors I obtained just around to get her the hell off of me-

"Oo~h!" She seems to have backed off, having sprung up off of her knees. "One two three four, I declare a knife war!"

Shi~ng! She draws a crude metal dagger from somewhere along her plain skirt. "Lemme tell ya sis, y'really don't wanna match a rabbit wit' a blade!"

...Since she's just letting me get up, I choose something superior to these stupid iron scissors I had on quickdraw.

Pulling out my Shadow Hell scissors, I take some experimental snips with the rather clunky blades. This should have a bunch of fire spells to make this fight trivial.

...Grinning at my weapon of choice, she starts to prance side to side a bit.

That suddenly reminds me of my other spells that would probably be helpful. But, first…

"Fire!" One advantage to being a loli is that yelling JRPG spells sounds a little more fitting. I probably have Japanese media to blame for that.

Fwam! Upon swinging my blade, a little ball of fire rolls out. That's some genuine power. The homing fireball arcs out towards the rabbit-

Fwish- fwish. Kicking up leaves, she drops to a roll to get out of the way at the last moment, before flipping back up with ease and skipping diagonally towards me-

"Fira!" I try the next tier up, channeling my mana into the blade and swinging-

Fwoom! A larger fireball arcs towards her on my next swing, albeit the homing is poorer, so she simply navigates out of the way and continues towards me-

Fwa- fwam! Both of the fireballs inevitably hit nearby dead bamboo, which goes up about as well as you'd expect. Very well.

FWOOM! Which is, also, too well.

"Fire!" I swing down-

Fwam! The fireball explodes against the leaves beneath me, triggering a blaze. I skip back-

The rabbit darts away from the area-denying blaze. "...Damn it! You are Mokou two! Haa~nh!" Swinging her blade-

FWAM. A three-bullet spread of person-sized, water blue danmaku orbs exploded from her form, extinguishing the blaze before us.

FWA- FWAM. She tried to give the bamboo to our side similar treatment, slashing at it, but it was too far gone. "Uu~gh! I can't believe-"

Shink. Simply walking up to her while she ignored me, I jabbed at her neck area-

Fwish! Leaping back from me and becoming airborne, she felt at the dark flames. Unfortunately, I'd only grazed her collarbone. "Agh- whahahah!?" Patting at the curious, purple-tinted blaze, she began to panic. Water began to pour down her form unevenly as she attempted to douse herself- and did.

...In the end, she was left with glowing, purple cracks on her skin surrounded by burned flesh. "Fu- fuchk- kaugh- kaugh…" Coughing, she turned away, floating off into the bamboo. "Fu- fucker… fuck you..."

...Eyes teary and throat sore, she proceeded into the bamboo-

FWISH! Springing from the mid-bamboo heights, Shikome seemed to be carrying a few curiously intact and unharmed rabbits in her wake as she roared after this one-

"Fuck!" The rabbit cursed, eyes blurry from the water in them as she accelerated-

Fwi- fwish. Shimmering, leaning black bamboo caught her. It was across the clearing from the flaming wall of doom we probably need to get the hell away from. The peeling skin of the bamboo's bark came alive, matting to her limbs. "Wha- what…!? Whahat!?"

Incredulous, she struggled with intense ferocity against the peeling bark, but to no avail. "Da- dahmn it!" Openly crying, she began to wail. "Aaa~h! Fhuck thi~s!"

SHI- SHINK. Shikome thrust her tendrils… into the bamboo near her.

…Pulling herself close, Shikome got into her face, slowly nearing, awkwardly balancing herself with two tendrils to the left of the rabbit.

"Ha- anh…" The rabbit's eyes widened, and she shook her head. "N- no, no… fhuck- no…"

She shut her eyes, crying. "Nhaa~h! Nhuh- haa~h…! Aa-"

Shikome smooched her on the lips.

...The rabbit stopped crying, just blinking.

...Oh- woah, oh shit. The fire's spreading dangerously. It got way too close to me for my comfort, so now I have to move.

Seeing the giant wall of amber beyond Shikome, the rabbit began to wail again. "Nh- haa- aaa~nh! Aah, aah-"

VROO~M! Uh…

Overhead, a large jet of some kind whirled over us, visible even beyond the canopy and the inferno. Looking up- I can see… oh. Oh fuck.

...SPLA- SPLA- SPLA~SH!

/ / / / I'MMA GONNA FLY FOR YOU VROOOM VHREEER VROOO- / / / /

Entirely, completely and utterly soaked, Shikome and I proceed towards the entrance to Eientei. It turns out lighting fires is an easy way to attract the attention of firefighting jets, and to get half-drowned on dry land. The blaze from before is long gone. Long gone...

"Nhaha~hn…" The blue-haired rabbit was now limp in the clutches of Shikome's tendrils. They were traveling some places that cannot be mentioned. For example, her pus-

"Rape me already~!" This cream-haired rabbit was shaking Shikome's kimono a little, marching alongside her. "I was born to fuck, siste~r!"

...She says this, although Shikome is already encumbered with at least five, six, or seven rabbits that she's having to keep held up with tendrils that had tendrils that had tendrils. A number were involuntary, but no one seems to be not enjoying themselves. Maybe.

She moved slowly, her mass considerably greater as she had each rabbit she was molesting hung from branches around herself. I've got a feeling this will end exceedingly poorly.

"C'mo~n!" There was also this dude rabbit with orange hair, and green clothing. "Do me like yer doin' Maya-chan there! What'cha chargin'!?"

"You guys are retarde~d!" We also have peaceful protestors. "Can't you see!? You're being tricked!"

"Ah, shut up, Saya! You never knew how ta let loose, y'fuckin-"

"Well, maybe I respect the act 'a-"

"You're all fucking gay!"

This kind of got out of hand.

...As we neared the sliding doors, I reconsidered having this weird sex shop situation. It might look just a little weird.

"Mgh- ngh- mmh- ghk- nkh…" What, with the rabbits taking tendrils down the throat and up the ass.

"Ooh! Anh! Enh- haa~nh!" Noises.

"Look… you~ stupid mothafuckin'-"

"I have over three hundred confirmed kills in the looney armed forces! I've been involved in numerous secret raids-..." That memester trailed off after running out of breath to keep yelling at the top of their lungs over the murmur.

Oh, right. Shikome's also covered in tranquilizer darts, from when the rabbits hadn't taken as kindly to her. Her blood probably works like no one's in existence, so they were less than effective. Most rabbits still aren't taking kindly to us; I think we're currently surrounded by the most retarded and vocal minority.

...Honestly, I'm not sure what to do. After staring at the little rabbit people getting fucked good and hard for some time, and looking at the two sides of this massive protest, I-

Fwoomp! Oh, someone's not done firing darts-

Ow! Someone fucking hit me-

Snapping her gaze, Shikome turns in a direction-

Kroom. A tendril shoots from her ankle, into the ground-

SHUNK. Bodily noises.

"Ghugh- guhau~..." Turning my head, I see a bespectacled rabbit girl in white, hoisted up with a rigid, pike-esque tendril impaling her from her crevice to her throat and out. "Nhk- shh~ uhk…" Making impossible noises, I watch her limbs spasm, and her eyes roll up.

Then, she sinks down, blood running up the shaft. Only a few twitches show us that her system's still there, sort of. After some seconds, she stopped.

...I look around, and all the rabbits are gone. All of them except for the ones Shikome's holding-

Fwi- fwish! A few that are only being simply serviced do impossible flips out of some of her less attentive grips, and whirl off into the bamboo.

...Reaching up to my neck- pftah, I remove the dart that pinched me. Well, poked me, but it felt like a pinch. It's got a needle tip, a thick wood exterior. It's painted with pink and red hearts, looking as if they encased a proper syringe in the wood. What the fuck…?

Well. I suppose I'll hold onto this then. I'll ask about it later, or shove it into someone's eye.

"Get rid of the rest." I instruct Shikome simply. "We can't bring them inside."

Shikome turns to me neutrally.

...Then, she looks ahead. After another moment-

Bam- bam, bam bam! She slams the rest of the rabbits into the floor to wipe them from her tendrils.

Crack! "Ow- ow- augh!"

"Fua- gnh- engh…!?"

"Ha- nnh… nn- nn…"

They whimper and quiver. Some of the disengagements are less than graceful, indicated by the one or two popped teeth, and all the bloody holes visible. Shikome follows me as I step through the dreary glass sliding doors.

They slide open. Shikome observes this phenomena with some level of spectacle.

...I wait for her while she steps up to one, while it hangs open. It tries to close, but she's in the way, so it backtracks upon sensing her again.

Reaching forward, she pulls-

CRACK! Whelp. She broke the sliding door.

...Stepping ahead, I sight Reisen ahead at the counter, in her suit and everything. She's got a rather level stare today.

"Hi~." I wave at her, with cuddly intent. "...I was wondering if I could speak with someone, on business." I have business. Loli-business.

...When Shikome finally steps up to us, Reisen gives me a single blink before responding. "Do you know her?" She points at Shikome.

...After a blunt moment, I speak simply. "No." Totally genuine.

So she turns to Shikome. "Why're you back here?" She asks the question with tired exasperation.

Shikome just looks over at me. Well.

"We saw you on CCTV, you know." Arms on the counter, Reisen speaks to Shikome levelly. "You killed one of our operatives. I don't know about that Byakuren thing, but what you did was… it was disgusting. It was awful. The therapy for sh-... for things like that, you know what that's like? It costs more than dollars, y'know."

...Shikome's still just staring at me.

"And- honestly… we're not usually welcoming to the kind of youkai who'll eat earth rabbits. Kinda part of our alliance." Reisen probably considered that rabbit stuff distasteful. "You killed one of them too, and I saw that, from here. You've been doing dark-related damage to the forest as well, which we haven't any measures for. What was that about?"

Well. While admittedly I'd forgotten about the rabbit Shikome dragged to hell and ate with Rumia, the rest are… not that big of problems. I think? They'd better not be.

...At the extremely awkward non-response period, Reisen speaks again. "Well? I'm giving you a chance to make excuses."

"You're annoying." Shikome decides, looking up at her. "Go away."

Reisen frowns down at her. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. If you come back, you'll be imprisoned. Youkai of your mind… unless you can control yourself, you can't come back."

...Shikome begins to move around the counter-

"Miss." Reisen speaks louder. "Miss! Stop!"

...Shikome looks up at her hastily.

"If you come back here, I'm going to arrest you." Reisen states plainly. "Take my advice, and don't. Today's busy enough."

From her current stance, I can see some kind of golden megaphone thing strapped to her back. What the hell's that. It's rather small, too. Well, it's pretty big for a pistol by far, but I don't know if that's what it even is.

"Then you come over here." Shikome points at Reisen and beckons her. Um.

...Reisen actually rolls her eyes. "Uh huh. Get out. I'll have security here, if you don't leave."

...Well.

"What if…" I point at one of the waiting chairs. "What if she stays there?"

Reisen narrows her eyes at me. "Why?"

"So she'll be here when I get back, and not in handcuffs." Blunt honesty. "You'll be able to keep an eye on her."

"So you are with her." Reisen nods…

"Yeah, I lied." Can you blame me. "I've got actual things I want to do, and I don't kill people." Take my word for it.

Reisen seems very very skeptical… "So what could you want?"

...For some reason, I'm feeling kind of… weird. That dart. Hmm.

What could I want?...

My gaze travels to Reisen's ears. Rabbit ears are overrated. Actually, come to think of it, bodily enhancements are overrated.

"Who runs this place?" I ask innocently enough. "I'm here to trade or~gans, or something." The best word to accent.

"And you don't kill anyone…" Reisen smiles down at me. She's pretty tall when I'm short. "...Well. I guess how you got them's not… my business. Still… what kind of organs?"

Organs. People insides.

At my blank stare, her gaze turns dry. "Humans, youkai, gods, bugs, plant monsters. Ghosts. You know."

"People stuff…" I assure her.

"Human people?" Reisen raises a brow.

"Yes." I nod eagerly.

...She shrugs. "Now… I don't expect honesty, but I have to ask this anyway. How'd you get them?"

Murder. "Very carefully."

"Hah, very funny." She didn't smile. "Seriously. If you can't answer this, we can't buy or trade or anything."

Rape. "...Forceful donations. An involuntary donation program."

Her brows raise, and she nods almost acceptingly. "Oh, yeah? Sounds an awful lot like murder to me. Is that how you got them?"

How presumptuous of you. "It wa~s… during medical practice, someone else did it. I'm li~ke… the Robin Hood… of organs." That was fucking terrible.

...Reisen lets her mouth gape at the excuse slightly. "Oo~kay. Do you have any on you, right no~w…?"

Do I look like I carry kidneys in my ass. I don't have anything but this backpack on me. Was I supposed to wrap it up McDonalds style?

"...Well, no." I hold out my arms. "How would I."

She snorts. "Well, alright. Do you have any way of storing them?"

What if I say no. "...To get them here?"

"Yeah." She nods. "You have them stored, obviously. Just- if you need a carrying cooler, I could get you that. You're gonna have to bring your first donation by hand in some way, but once we've checked you out, we can automate it, if you're reliable."

Dragging a clipboard from across the desk, she flips a pen from her boob pocket and starts scribbling. "Alright, so~... I am gonna hafta record your name and stuff, if you're okay with that. 'Cause, records. It helps to know who you are."

My name, huh. Samantha. Rebecca.

"I'm Irma Grese." Yes.

Reisen nods at this and records it. "Okay. Well, I'll put in that order for the cooler to be brought down here. Eirin'll be able to work out whether you're good or not from herein. There might be some background checks… there might not. It… depends." Looking somewhat unsatisfied, Reisen sat down the clipboard and looked up at me. "Do you need anything else?"

Um. No~...? Probably… not? Hmm.

Those ears of Reisen's aren't actually half bad. They'd actually be likable if they were cat ears, though.

Cat ears. Nyan cats. Yes, if they twitched and folded. Reisen would actually be not-trash. Maybe.

...Alright, that's pushing it, perhaps.

Reisen's gaze has become dry. "You okay?"

"I want realistic, fluffy cat ears." I would be very satisfied. Just like the cat girls have. "With a tail."

...Reisen's stare has become vain. "...It's been awhile since we've got a request like uh, that one. But… okay. I'll phone you in…"

Walking over to the phone, she shakes her head with vague incredulity as she parts her hair again…

Yes. Fully articulated cat ears. I must become the best nyan.

/ / / / REISEN UDONGEIN: INABA COMMANDO / / / /

Organ business didn't get me a meeting with Eirin.

"...I see." The doctor sat before me, legs crossed as she read off a clipboard. "You've requested cat ears, hmm? I suppose you want to go all in for all but the actual change..."

Transfeline. Wait… "What's that mean?"

...She looks up at me and blinks. "Oh, right. You were originally a male, I know. You seem to be youkai-ifying in every way except for in actual being. You're one of those outsiders."

That's very interesting and everything, but I'd like to be a feline now.

...After some silence, she jotted things down on her clipboard. "Hmhm. Subject is under effect of aphrodisiacs… a~nd subject has committed a crime within the past so-and-so. Evens out, I suppose." She looks up at me. "This is going to cost yo~u… about, forty thousand yen? It's normally more, but I doubt you've even got that money, being an ex-outsider and everything. And, among these things, the price is extrapolated based less on supply and demand and more on the operation of equipment… which, in layman's terms, means it's adjustable. The normal standing price would be four hundred thousand yen, being a surgical operation by technicality."

Yes don't care. "I would like, to be nyan nyan now."

Eirin gazes up at the ceiling. "...I suppose we'll call it an even sixty thousand then."

This sounds good. "Pay now or later?"

Looking over me, Eirin reclines in her uncomfortable medical room chair. "If you have all of the required funds, you may pay them now. Otherwise, you may pay a… depos-"

I fork out the sixty thousand yen. "Done."

"it-..." Her brows raise once I bring out all the money instantly. "...Okay, I'll get started right away."

I place the money down on the nearby bed. "Good- great. So how does this start-"

"Stand there for me." Getting up, Eirin sets her clipboard aside, and moves over to me. "And, keep still."

Okay. This is going to be good…

...While I stand still, my neck begins to tickle for some reason, as Eirin holds her hand at a weird angle to my face.

She told me to stand still, but I sort of look using just my eyes- oh. That was a syri-

/ / / / THUD NUGGETS / / / /

What… the hell happened…

Where am I? I-

...Why is my body small? Did- no, wait, that's always been like that. Sort of. Lolism.

...Hnn~. I stretch, and for some reason there's this feeling along my back, just above my ass. It's kind of weird. Moving my hand, I kinda subconsciously try to do something about it-

It's fluffy. What.

...After floofing it, I confirm. It's a tail.

Alright, what wacky bullshit happened. I hardly remember fucking- what's with these walls. Am I in a hospital? What's going on…!?

Wait. No, right. I made a purchase of two cat ears and a tail, by Eirin express medical care. My lower loli-part is also feeling weird but I'm not going to do anything about that right now.

...I change my facial expression-

The ears. I can… I can feel and… kind of control? I can sort of control my ears I think. I still have human ears too so this feels fucking weird.

Sitting up, clad in a medical gown, I- wow having a tail is some weird bullshit. It takes a moment after sitting up, but… it feels like it changes my gravity or the plane of it, or something fucking outlandish. Is this how cats always feel…?

...Standing up, I walk around a little. I find my balance quickly, the tail swaying gently. Balance feels totally foreign, but somehow more… controllable, now. As in, it's more absolute and not quite as dependant on perhaps the rest of my… me. I don't fucking know.

Does this come with jumping abilities?

"Hu~p!" ...Nope, no. I felt weirdly confident about landing, but I almost ate shit, so now I'm not so much. Just a normal weirdly-high-but-still-not-remarkably-high loli leap.

...I look at a wooden chair in the corner of the room-

"Hu~p!" I will leap onto this chair-

Crack! Oh, oh shit-

Thu- thud. ...I broke the chair, and after freefalling for a moment, I landed nearly on my feet and hands after flailing them like I had no idea what I was doing. That was pretty dreadful, actually. I'm sure once I get used to these things, if I get used to these things, I won't notice it so much.

"I see you're up." Oh, there's Eirin. "...Still horny, even." I'm what. Well, I am. How'd you know.

...Well, she operated on me, so I guess that answers that question. Still-

"Mirror." I need to see a mirror. Wait, my suit has a mirror- I'm not in my suit, I'm in this gown. Wait-

This room has a mirror. I scuffle up to it-

Oh, yes. I am magnificent. Majestic kitten loli. To be feared, surely.

"Satisfied, I take it?" Eirin peered over at me from the midst of the room. "...I had it match your hair color- black, which should be fitting. You didn't specify anything prior to the operation, but I could change it if you are unhappy."

No, I am quite happy. I'm living the American dream. Transfeline loli.

Also, the room's dim and sort of hospital-y, with blue counters- I don't care. I don't care where I went or am, I am a au natural feline now. Well, not quite. Actual fur can go fuck off to hell. Ears, though…

"They're also not purely aesthetic." Eirin commented or something. "I've grown tired of people asking for those when they do get this treatment. It's more interesting this way."

Yeah cool. Fluffy tail…

...After I observe myself for long enough, Eirin moves for the door. "Your clothes are in the rightmost drawer to the wall, under your backpack. Try not to burn anything on the way out. Or, even better, have your friend refrain from cleaving a needle into the ecosystem. Power and responsibility, etcetera."

Yeah whatever. I'm so fucking cute.

...I can now do a cat dance. This is the best day of my life.

/ / / / CAT DANCE DUD ! ! ! / / / /

Proceeding back into the lobby, with the help of some directions here or there, I arrive clad once again in my new suit. I'm using my pocket mirror to ascertain my floof.

...Reisen looks tired at the main desk, but no one really cares about her. "...Your friend's been sitting here for four hours straight." Okay.

True to her words, Shikome's sitting at one of the less than comfy waiting chairs. For some reason, it seems to be half-embedded into the floor now, but the floor's not actually damaged. She did something funky to it.

Speaking of funky, I've got balled up tissues in my panties, because it's not stopping and I feel weird about this. I'd rather not get my only pair of panties dry-cleaned. I need more panties.

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like. Feline, loli, and soaking wet.

Shikome seems to notice this somehow, looking down at my crotch as I romp up to her…

"Ha- hi…" What the hell is happening to me. Is this the cat things, or did I get injected with some bullshit without that doctor telling me? I-...

That dart that I kept. Fuck, right…

"Ha~h…" I exhale again. My whole body is warm, my face hot and I can sort of feel my chest more vividly. Not in the touchy experimental way, it just feels like… fluttering? It must be the loli butterflies. I'd fuck a loli butterfly.

"Let's… go." This could be problematic. I need to find somewhere quiet, or…

Shikome stands, looking blunt about matters as she always does. I'm just kind of… prancing in place near the door while she takes a moment to look around with the utmost gingerness.

...I take a moment to reach for my waist, and happen to run my hand down-

"Ha- a…" What the fuck how. I gasped. What the fuck-

Shikome steps up to me, while I catch my breath. "...Al- alright, let's-..."

Why is she just looking me up and down. Come on, we've got to-

She licks my cheek promptly. Oh, um…

...Fuck.

Ah- oh, okay. Picking me up, she holds me under one arm as she progresses towards the sliding glass doors. Um...

/ / / / THROUGH THE LENS OF THIS CENTURY / / / /

Oo~kay. I'm… better-ish. That was a hell of a time.

We've arrived right outside Small Packages. Oh- and I did manage to salvage that organ cooler in my likely aroused insanity. It turns out I'd stashed it in my backpack, as it's not insanely big or anything. I suppose it wouldn't have to be, if it's going to hold organs and not limbs or anything.

It's now pretty late in the evening. Today was a day of fuck-or-get-fucked, and as it turns out, I did more of the latter than the former. That's alright though; the aphrodisiac's made me not really care about that sort of thing.

...Of course, it likely being eight hours or so after injection, I'm caring again.

Also I'm a fucking cat girl now. How that happened is kind of nebulous, but I'm not entirely disagreeing with that decision. Maybe I should get horny more often if it means I gradually lose my humanity as a result.

...Then again, I'll just keep establishing cute genetic defects, so I guess it's more of a tradeoff in the end, and less of a loss. An adorable tradeoff.

...Twitching my ears and wagging my tail experimentally, I start to approach the bar counter.

Stepping behind the counter, I take a glance at the company upon our stools…

For some reason, Kaku's seated there, looking lazy. Aiko's also here for some reason that eludes me. It's been a long day.

...On second thought, I step around the counter, and stand up on the step-stool between Kaku and Aiko.

Aiko's been staring at me this entire time, expression still and… inexpressive.

While standing on the stool, I do my cat dance, which involves waving my flank around independent of my upper body and waving my tail around in doing so.

"What… in hell's name?" Aiko is beyond words. "What-... have you done?"

...Only after a moment, Kaku looks at me, staring into my cat butt as she does so. It's not actually a cat butt, but my cat tail is poised before her face, so the result is essentially the same. "...Oh." She seems to snap into wakefulness. "My oh my. You've certainly taken to bodily manipulation, haven't you…? Has that become your thing?"

Shut up and watch my cat dance. Nya nya nya, bitch.

Standing up, Aiko just distances herself from me. "Have you even your mind, now!? Explain this to me!"

"...I've become a cat girl." I explain this to her. "Nyan, and all that… also, check out my cat dance." Cat dance intensifies.

"What the hell do you mean, 'cat dance'...!?" For once in her life, Aiko's composure has went with her bafflement. "This shouldn't even... be possible!"

...After a moment, she moves past me to glare at Kaku. "Seiga. If you've afflicted me under any manner- or her for that matter- I will see to it that-"

"Ca~lm down." Kaku very simply raises a hand and lowers it, to emphasize quieter volume. "...I'm a little too relaxed to care about threatening you, kitty. I'm simply here to… pass some time, yes."

"Wo~w…!"

Vanilla scuffles past the counter to marvel at me. "...You're a kitty girl, no~w!"

This is right. I am… the cat girl. "Nya~n!" ...I'm not sure if I should ever do that again.

...Oh, right, Shikome's still down here, and she's looking up at me.

As she steps closer, I protest. "Pa- patience… okay?" My sentence structuring is all kinds of fucked up. It's just one of those days. You know, the ones where you get doped up on drugs and turn yourself into a cat girl. Life is rough.

...And, she listens. Pleasant surprise. Today is simply full of happy accidents.

"...Hrrm." Ignoring Kaku, Aiko folds her arms, frowning at me in her distaste. "If those articles are fake, I demand you remove them now."

Come and tr- no, you might actually remove them, with your claws. I just shake my butt at her in response.

...Her posture droops as she sighs. "I… suppose I shouldn't care. I cannot believe how outlandish this establishment has been as a contact."

Do you even Gensokyo.

Vanilla actually turns to interact with her, right before going behind the counter again. "...Well, she's kinda cute. I don't know how it happened… but um, I don't know how a lot of things... are happening."

...Not turning her head, Aiko simply looks in her direction for a moment, before closing her eyes. "It simply unsettles me, is all. I am a woman of plan and tact. My employer was swapped with a child, and she seems to have deserted the premises for numerous hours to go on a self-indulgence binge. Have you at the very least obtained the contact?"

...Reaching into my backpack, I draw the organ cooler. "I did, at least, do that." It was an investment of time and my dignity, but it seems to have paid off, in… fractals, perhaps.

She seems placated by this. "At least you're not entirely useless, then. And…"

Taking a few steps, she holds her arms to her sides, still. But, then she stops.

Shikome's staring at her, and she stares back.

...Aiko becomes more relaxed, and talks to no one in particular. "You are such a bore." Focusing on me proper, she makes a suggestion. "If you're going to associate yourself with my kind, you had better begin to learn some dignity. I've had quite enough of leading clowns."

Who said you had to or are leading anything. You steal beer and random crap because I pay you money.

...Ignoring her, I look back over at Kaku. She seems to be here alone today, for some reason.

"Some things never cease to amaze me." She simply stares up at me with the airiest of smiles.

"Do you like… my cat dance?" For emphasis, I continue to cat dance, waving my kitty flank around. Oh, yeah- maybe I should also do that thing where you hunch over and wave your wrists close to your face.

...Not saying anything, she simply reclines on her stool, somehow. I think 'somehow', but she can phase through matter, so I suppose reclining on nothing's less of a violation of reality.

Hopping off of the stool, I move to converge with my fellow lolis behind the counter. Shikome's arrived here while no one was looking.

"Where were you guys…?" Vanilla looks back and forth between us gingerly. "You were gone for a long time…"

The hospital, to change my species. "Nyaa~n." I nyan at her.

...She doesn't know what to think, but she doesn't dislike that.

"Barkeepe~r…" Kaku calls out to me lazier than she usually does. "I don't remember that other girl of yours." She points at Shikome as reference. "Who is she~...?"

She's blunt, and she wants to have fun, and she gets things done. In any case… hmm. What else was I going to do today? I think that's pretty much everything on the agenda.

...I should answer her question I guess. "She's my… assistant." Sassy tail flick. Yes. "She assists." Tail flick. "With my things." Flick, flick, flick…

"In related news," Aiko steps up to the counter because- why is she here again…? "The village is still in pandaemonium."

What else is new. Wait… can I purr?

"Buh- buh, buh…" I make my lips flap like a retard. "Bu- bu… bu." Okay, no.

...Aiko looks like her soul has been smashed into a million little pieces.

"...So, uh- why'd you bring that up?" I decide to actually try to talk with her, to retain the illusion I am a sane person.

"Your latest legislation is beginning to take effect." Aiko provided flatly. "...Ironically, that may only be a moderate source of disturbance. Due to all this chaos, the village is being legitimately compromised by youkai in some areas."

Isn't that a good thing, for you? "Make friends with your cat dance."

She seems to disagree with this suggestion. "Further presence makes theft harder, and encourages the average villager to prepare better. The town guard is also perhaps in the shoddiest state it's ever been."

...You know. "Is there a um… point you're getting to, or-"

"These lapses in village power have never gone without the village experiencing a sudden resurgence of competence and vitality." Aiko actually got to the point. "We'll have to brace for when that happens."

Does it really. "...If you say so~." Reimu and her goons came by and pretty much just threw the place into a frenzy. I doubt they'd actually manage to do anything or onset any actual meaningful movement, at this point.

...Aiko just raises and lowers her brows, before turning away. "I don't think you're concerned enough. I will be back tomorrow, for the next day's work."

That reminds me… we need a carpenter. All this furniture, and our staircase is still a crappy plywood slope. I mean, the shithole aesthetic has half grown on me, but that thing's a safety hazard. As fun as it is, it's got to go.

We'll deal with that when it comes. For now…

I swing my tail before myself, and grab it. And- hmm. That is kind of weird.

...I nuzzle the tip of my own tail with my nose. It's fluffy.

"Getting used to the whole 'being a cat' thing, huh." Kaku remarks on my insatiable curiosity. "Fufu…"

Yes, indeed. Giggle giggle, for I am… the cat.

"Go~h… on i~n." I keep thinking something weird's going on outside, but in reality it's just that our guards actually have more personality now than when they were alive. Provided, their memory doesn't write to itself anymore, but it's the idle background noise that counts.

A rather small girl walks in. She's got long blonde hair, and a toothy, confident smile. I really can't place what kind of hat she's wearing, but it's black and has metal, scale-esque plates that curl off her head and drape towards her back. You know what- it's like Link's hat, from The Legend of Zelda, except black and with plates of shiny metal scales.

Her black boots clunk across the floor as she steps up to us in fairly revealing, impractical metal plating. We can see her tummy and flat plains. Only her sides are actually covered, which is weird.

"Hey, hey, he~y!" She pumps an arm into the air as she romps into the bar. "Wo~w, this place is dead as dust t'night!"

Running up to the counter, she leaps-

Thunk. Her stool vibrates as she lands on it, crouching down to look 'seated'. "...Oo~hahaha~!" In her right arm she holds some kind of wood staff, with a luminescent, glowing cyan crystal on the tip of it. "Wo~w! Yer all so perfect!"

She's about as tiny as we are, which is ironic. "Hi. I'm a kitty." Behold.

"An' yer pretty!" She gives me a little wave. As she does so, a little cyan pentagram-esque star boinks off of her hand, as if to accent the motion. "I'm Erzanas. But my friends call me Ema!"

Excellent. We shall rejoice to the sound of generic pop music in the background. I'd like to know who changed our jukebox to generic pop music, now that I think about it. I've been too busy being catty to really consider it.

"Who-... who're you?" Vanilla decides to do the talking because I really don't care.

"Ema." She simplifies it, with a flatter expression this time. Then, she leans onto the counter, toothy grin lighting up again. "Ho~ly shit, s'a vampire…! An' a damn fine beaut a' that…!"

Saying nothing, Kaku gives the small girl an examining stare, before popping a smile.

"An' a…!" 'Ema' almost slides across the counter to look at Shikome.

...After staring into the backdoor, Shikome looks up at her.

...Ema blinks. "I dunno what the hell you are, but you're hot too!"

The plywood nearby rumbles and dies as someone from upstairs starts half-running, half-falling down. "A- aah, shit- wah…!"

Thud. Tay lands on the floor, and rolls for a moment, before quickly getting back up. "Fuckin'- what the fuck!"

...Ema pays it little mind, nodding at us in satisfaction as she stands back up. "I've been lookin' around all night fer some cute young'uns, but this village's just been fulla' a lotta borin' humans 'n' pussies. Like, the stupid kind, not the lickable kind." Okay.

Tay marches back up to us. "Hey, slut in charge. It'd be nice if we had some shit that wasn't booze. We ain't fuckin' oni."

...I look over at her, and twitch my cat ears.

Tay stops in place, and looks immediately winded. "Woa~h, the hell. Omigod you're a kitty now…" Leering at me, she- he, it- props their arms to their sides.

Shikome stares over at the shemale.

...Tay huffs. "If ya didn't have that thing rapin' ya, I would." I'm glad.

"No thanks." I shake my head bluntly.

...Ema gives Tay a big wave. "Oh, hey, s'one of you dumbfucks! I hit the damn lottery!"

Her boisterousness makes the trap thing pause, before it moves around the counter to near the magical girl. "Just my fucking luck. Loli-ass bitch from the league of lolis. Get the fuck out 'fore you suck my dick."

"I'll blow your fuckin' head off." The magical girl holds her staff out, at the trap.

I crawl onto the counter, and get on all fours.

...This attracts both of their stares.

"Nya~hn!" it is time to shift into… maximum overdrive…! "Don't fight here, nya~n!" I also place my hand near my face, with the hand down and wrist up. Cat paw style.

Ema gains a big dumb smile. "Awhawhaw~. I can't say no ta that. How 'bout you, dick-stick?"

"Fu~h…" Marching up to the stools, Tay sits next to the magical girl and shoves her arms onto the counter. "Damn it. I'm too weak."

The situation has been resolved.

"...So!" Looking me up and down, the black-clad magical girl gives me an uneven grin. "How the hell're you still human? Ya don't even act like one! Hell- do ya even know how many loads ya've taken?"

I'm not sure I follow. "...Loads?"

Ema rolls her eyes. "Oh my fuckin'- wo~w. Pfft… I mean, cum. Either yer innocent as all shit, or yer playin' dumb or ya just stupid."

...I stand up.

Ema blinks up at me pleasantly.

Making sure my balance is right by holding my arms out, I leap to the left, right before her and off the counter.

My legs buckle just a little on landing, and I look up at the magical girl. "Ai'm gay…!"

Achievement unlocked. I have raised her eyebrows. "...Hehehe~!" Shifting and casting one leg over the other, she looks down at me almost tiredly. "Well- how many clits ya love on, then? Sucked, fucked, dun' matter."

As it turns out, we happen to have a resident pussy destroyer. "Lemme get you my associate…"

Romping around the counter with loli speed, I approach Shikome.

She's gotten weirdly close to a wall, crouched down and examining the featureless wood. "Hi."

...After greeting her, she gingerly pans her head to look at me.

"Someone wants to talk to you about pussy destroying." I gesture to Ema, over there.

...Giving us a few blinks, Shikome stands and moves over to the counter.

Getting onto said counter herself, she stands before Ema, looking down at her. Then, she crouches down.

Ema just stares at the crouching girl. "...Yer all freakin' insane and I love it."

Shikome says little in response, maintaining the cuddly stance. "You're quite…" Nevermind, she actually says something in response. She also licks her lips. "Cute."

"Aww~..." Ema gives her a big smile. "I aim ta please, y'know. An' I guess it would be in my interests ta give you all a… test run, as it were."

"Test run…" Shikome echoes these words. "You shall satisfy me well."

...Tay's looking over at the magical girl sardonically. "No one's gonna have sex with you, loser."

Ema shoots her the big smile as well. "You can join in if you wa~nt, big bro!"

"Ah- whah…!?" Tay clams up. "Like hell. I'm not turned on by some sexy loli slut!"

"Mm~hm." Smug and flushed, Ema looks back up at Shikome. "Come ta think 'a it, I've kinda gone all day wit'out some fun. And…" Standing up on her stool, she stretches. "Hua~h…! I challenge you sluts ta satisfy me!" Pointing at us, she reveals her teeth again.

I just realized, but one of her teeth has a tiny blue star printed onto it. Also- that 'sluts' should be singular.

Shikome stands up and picks her up by the under arms-

"Woah whoa- mmh…!" The mage's eyes widen in surprise, as Shikome smashes their faces together. "Mhmhm!" Giggling into Shikome's mouth, the mage lets it continue, her staff falling to the wayside.

Then-

Pop. Shikome jerks her head back, a saliva trail visible between the two of them for a lingering moment.

...Promptly, she sets the magical girl on the counter beside her, gingerly resting her on her back.

"Huahaha~...!" The girl only lets out a howl of laughter a moment later. "Wo~w! You kiss like…!"

At this point in the game, I've learned to stop questioning why these things happen.

...Kaku's just watching this all with a bemused and amused expression. Vanilla's facing away, hands to her face, and Tay's just watching with her mouth agape…

"He~y…" Isami- the twin-tailed freak of nature- seemed to come down next. "Night's almost u~p. Gonna hit the town and-..."

She stopped midway down the slope, staring at the scene.

Maneuvering over the girl and dropping down, Shikome touched their waists together, and lunged for another kiss.

The sudden joining of their pelvises made the magician girl moan. "Awha~a- nhmm…!" Once Shikome connected, it was reduced to muffles. "Mhmmhmhm!"

...I stare over at Kaku.

"No~. Don't do tha~t." She speaks in ingenuine monotone. "People dri~nk from there…"

Shikome's tendrils unevenly move to caress more of the magi's form while the two lolis join hands, and this shifting-

Thud. "Mnnh!" -led to them falling behind the counter, making me and Vanilla dart back lest we get smooshed or something similar. Ema had let out a surprised squeal into Shikome as a result.

...This has been a productive evening.

Evacuating from the behind-the-counter station, I cut my losses and decide to round the counter and sit next to Kaku…

"Hi." I greet her plainly.

"Hello~." She seems rather tired, which is curious. I suppose it is late. As in, really late. "...I was going to say something about those familiars of yours, but I think this vastly outweighs that curiosity."

Does it, now. "...What were you going to say, nya?"

...Looking at me proper, she grinned. "This was probably the fastest I've ever seen an ambitious human give into the urges of self-corruption, Makai-dealing and boredom all at the same time. It's almost something to be proud of, really."

I am very proud of all of these things. "...I am a self-entertainment speed demon."

She snorts. "...Well. There's no doubt about that."

"Hnhnhnh!" That mage is having a great time getting molested behind that counter. "Mmh- nn~h!"

...Vanilla's sat next to me, laying her chin onto said counter and appearing to attempt ignoring the blatant sexy times.

"If you don't mind me asking…" Finding a new comfortable position with her head propped up on one arm, Kaku spoke to me idly. "What did you happen to do here in Gensokyo prior to… this." She gestured to the lovemaking with her cigarette stick.

"Who knows." I respond quickly. "...They were my younger times. I was young and stupid, but now, I've found my true calling."

...Kaku was grinning wider now. "How stupid?"

"I set a school on fire." That was a good time. "Some people cried. Some people died." Also, I made people angry, but that probably doesn't need emphasis.

"Fufufu." Kaku nodded at this. "So that was you? My my."

...I've just noticed where Vanilla's hands are. What the fuck.

Well, anyway. "Yeah nya~h." I run a madhouse full of degenerates.

"Some people die~d…" Kaku drawled plainly. "And I doubt you even know who."

Nope. Process, sure. Faces, sort of. Not really. "No~pe." They were just a bunch of nobodies, so it doesn't really matter anyway.

"Hmmhmm~." With an idle hum, she looked content enough.

Click. She sat a vial of red on the counter, drawing it from nowhere. "I see. You live in interesting times." That's a little redundant to observe at this point.

"Nh- hahaha~!" The mage girl got a breath of air, and for some reason chose to use it to exhale mirthfully. "Ha- mmhnhn!"

...This is probably going to go on for awhile.

"Ha- ah…" Vanilla, you're not even hiding it, you're genuinely wearing only panties and a cape.

"Well, thank you for the pleasant company…" Rising from her stool, Kaku began to drift off. "I believe I'll be off for the evening. I appreciate the tracker reage~nt."

Yeah, you do that. Also, what's a tracker reagent.

...While she leaves, I idly check all my things, but nothing's missing. Okay.

The magician's staff is still on the floor where she left it, so that's not gone. What could she have… hmm. She had a crimson vial at the end there, which she'd taken with her out the door. I hadn't seen her draw it from anywhere, or have it before.

...I check all my things one more time-

"Mm~h!" -while the sounds of love and war play out in the background.

...Alright, it's pretty hard to tell in the dim light of this bar. It's probably like… midnight. Or later.

After splaying some items out on the counter before me, I look over my scissors. Nothing's missing from any of them. They're all… scissory.

"Oo~haha! Lemme- lemme- mmh!" Speaking of scissors…

I run my gaze over my two steel scissors. One of them is-... hmm. Which one's which again. One of them used to be stained with old ass dried blood, but now they're both clean. To be honest, that probably could've been the result of a lot of things. That, or it got so old it just flaked off or something. Does blood stain hard? Probably… but I don't know when it comes to metal.

Ah, whatever.

...I dare to peek over the counter-

"Here- lemme give y'..." The mage girl seems to be trying to vigorously thrust her fingers into a place-

"Nhou~h!" Shikome retaliated with something involving tendrils. I'm not censoring the language; there's just such a mess I really don't know what's happening.

...I do know that I'm kitty-littered. As in, pooped. Sleep would be nice.

"C'mon, fucke~r…" Isami seems to be whispering sweetnothings into Tay's ear. "I know you're gay for me…"

"Fuck o~ff…" Tay buries her face in the counter.

"Nn- nn…" Vanilla's making quiet noises.

"Mmm~h!" Al~right. I'm going to bed. I don't know about these fuckers, but I'm gonna go sleep.

Cla- clack, clack. Oh- oh my god, plywood-

I scramble to a stop next to the plywood. It threw my catty sense of balance to hell, and I panicked to a degree I don't believe I've panicked before. What the hell was that.

...More deliberately this time, I use all four limbs to climb the plywood disaster, and to sli~nk onto the upper level.

...Rumia's up here, and thankfully not lewd. She's got her arms held out, and she's got a couple fluffles next to her, who're also holding their arms out for no reason. Well, fins. No one gives a shit.

Rumia gives me a concerned stare. "...Everyone's making weird noises downstairs."

"Don't look down. Whatever you do, don't look into mirrors. Keep away from all windows until morning." I give her the best advice, and-

Creak. Bed.

"Wh- why can't I go near windows…?" My advice worried her. "What's gonna happen…?"

...I give her a weary, uneven stare and tell her something to placate her. "The moon come in. I see it. Ow."

...Eyes wide, Rumia steals a stare at the trap disaster room, which has a tiny window in it. "Eee~!"

Woosh! She throws herself into the loli zone room, which is devoid of lolis at the moment. "Don't let the moon get me~!" Teasing her was a mistake.

"Waa~l!" The fluffles begin to wail too. Oh my fucking god…

/ / / / WHATEVER YOU DO DONT LOOK OUTSIDE / / / /

I feel remarkably better about life, it being a new day and all. Last night left me in a sort of displeased haze between my paranoia about whatever Kaku didn't take, and the ungodly racket of a bunch of hyper and horny lolis. As great as a loli gathering is, I'd like to not have the horny little girl parade keep me up at night.

...Wait, what. What's this in my bed. It's small and-... whatever it is, it's worrying. Someone must have planted something in my bed. Fuck, fuck, fuck...

Tossing the covers off-

...A fluffle looks up at me, arched down and taking shelter in place, looking like it's trying to weather a storm.

So that's why it felt furry.

...Why is my suit still on. Well, that'll do…

Taking out my metal scissors-

Shunk. I stab into the fluffle's demented, round head-

Fwish. It collapsed into dust. Fucking messy thing.

...I use my arm to slap the dust around the side and under the bed-

"honh honh honh" Fluffles on the underside receive the offering. That's great.

Time to re-establish the covers. I'm not done sleeping yet. If a fluffle wakes me up again by being a furry sack of shit, I'm going on a crusade.

...While I rebuild my bedtime scenario-

Fwi- fwi- fwish! Wha~t the hell is that…

Floating in from the open trap bedroom door, a whirling mass of dust or something gravitates inside.

...I really have no single fucking clue what that is, but it reminds me of a wasp or something for some reason. Why is this in the hall bedroom!? What the hell-

It whirls to me, and I throw my arms up. "Nnh…!"

...My flailing seems to push it away, and it idly just whirls to the edge of the room. Okay, so it's not that-

FWAM! It fires a spreadshot of featureless, white danmaku and- ow fuck shit it hit me

Okay alright that's cool you know what…!?

Shi~ng! Making an annoying noise by scraping my two steel scissors together, I get to business by falling out of bed and rushing the stupid dust abomination.

It slowly gravitates towards me like a moron-

Snip. I thrust into it for my first strike-

Fwish.

...That… killed it. My reward is more dust.

While I seethe, Rumia hovers into the room. "The kedama're very happy today! It must be the noon wind…" I fail to see the correlation. Also, it's not even fully light out yet, so it can't be noon wind. Wha- you know what…

Creak. Be~d. Again.

/ / / / FLOOF / / / /

It is… a new day, indeed.

Down in the lobby again, I ignore the sunny day outside, instead focusing on the situations before me…

That magician girl's wearing only her hat, sitting at the bar neutrally. She's staring over at me, a catty expression on her face.

Shikome's up in the loli zone again, and I'm pretty sure Vanilla's still with her. I didn't check, but the traps are probably up in their rooms, still.

Aiko's across the room with her arms folded. I'll get to that when I get to that.

"Hee~, hee~..." The naked loli magician beckons me as I approach her. "You're staring at me aw~fully ha~rd…"

It's too early for me to actually care. "Why are you still here."

"You slunked o~ff last night." She drawled. "I still haven't tested you."

Thanks but no thanks. "Why and no." You can do your loli molesting things some other time. "Where do you even live?" So I can find you and disrupt your sleep.

She smiles wider at that. "O~h? We~ll… I'm not actually from 'round here, y'could say. I'm what'cha could call a~n… envoy. Or- or maybe a~... missionary."

Looking away from me, she gives the air a relaxed nod. "Heheheh. Missionary."

"...Okay." She can't hide anything she may have stolen if she tried, so whatever. "Go ahead, and... do your mission things." Let's go see what Aiko's up to.

To reach her, I near the front door, all the way across the bar floor.

...Once I approach her, we exchange flat stares.

Considering nothing's immediately coming to mind… I might just-

"Carpenters." It's a good thing I remembered what we will need shortly. "...We need a carpenter, for this." I gesture to the plywood disaster that nearly breaks my neck and ankles every morning.

"...I am a thief." Aiko makes a complaint about this idea.

"A well-spoken thief who dresses in a suit." You can't tell me you're not doing anything else in this town that you shouldn't be. "I'm sure you can scrounge up some kind of… black market carpenter." Because seriously. I know I'm not the only person you talk to, even if I'm a paying client.

"...We shall see, then. Am I to also fetch the alcohol and food, as usual?" Folding her arms, she rolls her head restlessly, looking ready to get going.

"Sure thing." Go do your cat things. I've got cat things of my own to do.

...I don't have cat things of my own to do. Besides my normal daily activity, that is.

Quite hastily, Aiko marches out of the front door ahead of me.

"Go- go~... ohn i~n." ...The sound of fine, healthy guards doing a fine, healthy job out there. I have paid little attention to them since my transfeline status, but it is worth noting that they now have doofy brown hats which cover their faces, instead of buckets. It's a margin less suspect.

...I turn around-

Woah hey hey hey. Magi-loli slides up to me, and tries to press her chest to mine, but I back up. "Hey- hey. Any more of that, and... I will have to sic the pussy destroyer upon you."

"Owo~..." She makes the sound of cancer. "Stop playing hard to get. Y'know, I'm cranky when I don' get a morning fuck."

"Where the hell did you come from." You're a she-demon from the netherrealms, and I will be having none of that at eight in the morning on a Monday.

...She blinked at me. "Can't you tell? Miss dickstick familiars-a-lot." I don't even know what that means.

"...Probably not." I rub my eyes…

...A quiet moment later, she rolls her eyes. "Wow, you really are dumb. I'mma- actually, no, check my mana pool. Hell, check the signature."

Ignoring her entirely, I move for the front door. Let's see what's going on outside…

...Sun, fuck. Well, besides the sun, it's fairly okay out. Brisk, but with this suit it's alright. And-

The naked mage walks out onto the road with me. "Where ya goin'!? I'm talkin' wit'cha, human retard!"

How can one loli have this much energy at eight in the morning. "You're like a bad itch."

"Oo~h, I've gotta bad itch awright!" She- that's not a place to touch in public, you know. "An' only you can scratch it!"

You know… "You're from Makai, aren't you." At this point, it's gotten pretty obvious. She's a fucking freak.

"Haha~!" She leans back, unleashing the laugh. "Sure am! An' you're all coming with me!"

"No." I shake my head gingerly.

...She flinches back, stunned. "Wha- whaddaya mean- just, goin' no? Y'cant just say no!"

"No." You have all the tact of a horseless caravan. Actually- maybe that comparison's too creative…

Well, anyway, she can follow me around naked if she wants. I don't plan on going far at the moment before setting up shop, and presumably locking her in a sex dungeon until she dies or pulls a bullshit escape or something.

There's some bullshit across the street, though. A previously unremarkable storefront now has a tall sign up on the front of it. It reads something in sloppy Japanese, so I can't make it out for shit.

I point at it. "What's that say."

...The magi looks befuddled. "Uu~h. Hotel Neko."

I'm sorry what.

...Okay.

Marching ahead, I swing the door to Hotel Neko open.

/ / / / THE WHOLE LENGTH OF A ROAD THAT'S ROMAN / / / /

Di- ding. A shoddy tin bell clatters as the door swings open, and I step into a dim storefront.

One tiny copper candelabra sits on a wooden counter. A red-haired cat girl stands behind it with a dead expression, gazing upon me with a long face and tired, yellow eyes.

...Stepping up to her, I stare at her inquisitively.

...She blinks at me a few times, and I almost feel like I'm supposed to say something. But then- "Welcome… to Hotel Neko. I'm Neko."

"So…!" Ema marches in behind me, and stops before the counter, beaming up at the tired cat girl in her naked glory. "You runnin' an underground gambling rink here 'er somethin'?"

...Silence sets in as the cat girl just stares down at her, before replying. "It's a hotel."

"O~kay." Rolling her eyes, Ema looks vaguely dissatisfied, before turning away. "Well, whatever. No funny ideas, earth kitty."

...While me and Neko stare at one another, the cat replies to the vague threat after another awkward pause. "Trust me. I have pure intentions."

The phrase commonly said by those with pure intentions. "...Are you sure about that."

...Her facial expression doesn't change, and she just blinks awkwardly at me again. "Do I look uncertain to you."

"Yes." This place is fairly sketchy, and I'm doubting legal. Considering it can be compared to my dump, it's probably illegal.

...She really doesn't care about anything right now. "My apologies."

Well, no time like the present. Reaching into my pocket, I draw my Chief Financial Officer badge. "...I'm the Chief Financial Officer. I'd like to know about the… legality of this establishment." Are you harboring any illegal aliens.

This causes Neko to pay a little more attention to me, leaning over the counter slightly. "...I didn't know the village hired children to do their work."

My ears twitch.

"I believe this should answer your questions." Reaching behind the counter-

Thoom. She placed a huge stack of papers on the desk. Some of them were old, soaked and demolished newspapers, while others were literally blank paper. "Do be sure… to look through all of it. Wouldn't do if you missed any pertinent information."

...I look over at the naked magi.

She's crouched down and walking along, looking over the floor.

"What are you doing?" I inquire.

"Checkin' fer traps…" The girl revealed to me, giving me a wink and a nod. "Good news is, no crap fall floors! Bad news is, she's got friends!" So she is harboring illegal aliens.

...Well in any case, I'm not looking through this paper she pulled from an alley.

I wipe it off the desk-

Fwa- fwa- fwap! -and it splays across the ground, some of it splatting on impact. "I don't have to look at anything. You just need to answer questions."

...After a few more unrevealing blinks, she speaks. "Sure thing. Allow me to get my tea out of the oven."

For how collected she sounds, she sprints off nimbly, but without grace, before rounding one of the doors into a dark inner room. This place isn't that big from the outside, so this place must have literally negative windows to make a room that dark.

Perhaps we should follow her.

So I do. Moving to the bland door she went through-

Ema latches onto me from behind, making me jump. "Ho~ld it!"

"What." I don't appreciate the hug grapple. I had half a mind you were going to do something stupid then and there.

...Stepping away from me, she waves her hand towards the door. A purple, unholy magi light drifts towards it…

...I fail to see-

CRACK- SHI- SHI- Shing- Shi~ng!

The door shatters apart, an array of brown, bone-esque, muddy spikes sprung from the floor, poised to eviscerate what would have been prime vital areas, and then some. Not a moment later, and they were gone, back into the room's blackness again.

...Ema turns to me and grins big. "Almost turned ya inta 'a pack 'a donuts, she did. An' if not that, those bones were laced wit' poison." Okay. "S'a pretty retarded trap. Like, you jus' don't use bones. Ya can just tell a bone trap when yer near it. S- s'decoration. If ya really wanted ta kill someone, you'd need like… a for sure- for sure thing'd be mithril-"

"Cool." I don't really care. "How about you lead the way."

She gives me a dry stare. "What the hell're we even doin' this for? Let 'er piss off a big asshole an' get her spine snapped, I say. No one likes a hero."

...You say that. I really don't know what it's like over in Makai. I'm not sure if I want to know.

At my blank stare, she just holds her arms out. "S'just, seems like more trouble than's worth! I mean look- I could be gettin' laid right now! Not explorin' piss-tier spider an' kitten dungeons for my prize 'a scrounged meals an' bones 'a the end've it."

"You complain a lot for a Makai demon." This is apparently an ordeal. "I hadn't imagined a challenge like this would be beyond you, but I suppose it is."

...She gives me the stink eye. "Oh, ha ha. Funny- yer a funny girl. A'right, fine…"

With a wave of her hand, she sends the magi-light forward again-

SHI- SHI- Shing- Shi~ng! The bone spikes of doom erupted out of the black and poke through the doorway-

SPLAP- SPLAP- SPLAP- SPLAP! The room vibrates a little as she unloads some kind of purple, pinkish goo from nothing at all with her bare arms. "Oo~kay!"

...Shunk. The goo-covered spikes attempted to retract into the floorboards behind, and vaguely did, although they stuck before they could fully lodge into whatever specific mechanism it was. Not that I can tell, because goo everywhere.

...She whistled. "Maybe I overdid i~t. Or maybe this shit su~cks!"

I'm half-tempted to walk in, but I'd rather she died than me if she forgets to check for something.

Skipping inside, she holds out a hand-

Fwi~sh! -and her staff forms there in it. "...Coast's clea~r. And- fucking…"

Fwam. Her staff's cyan crystal pulsed, and the darkness of the room was dispelled. There was nothing but a really retro stove in the back left corner, a back door to the outside to the right of it, and a cellar door in the room's midst.

...Bo~ng. Rushing in, she hit the metal door with her staff-

Cli~ck! It swung open.

"More spikes!" She leaped back, and hung in the air.

There weren't any spikes, though.

"Nice job." I gazed upon the open cellar door. "You'd said they were easy to detect."

"They didn' spring." She stated plainly. "Like you'd fuckin'-"

That cat girl's hand rose from the cellar door.

Thunk. She lobbed out a cartoonishly big, fuse-lit bomb, which began to roll across the room towards Ema.

"Woah- what the fuck…!?" Eyes wide-

Fwish! Ema thrust out of the room, through the previous open door.

That is a fast fuse. Maybe I should- I need to-

The fuse runs out.

Well, nothing happened.

Boom! ...An artifacted recording of an explosion plays from the bomb.

The wood steps of the cellar creak as the cat girl emerges, looking around. Despite not knowing that I'm in here behind her, she still takes an awkwardly long time to appreciate her deed done, staring down at the toy bomb.

"Nice toy." I speak from behind her.

She does indeed freeze.

...Upon turning around, it is to my dismay that she experiences no panic. "Oh. It's you. ...I was sort of hoping you'd have gotten the hint."

I didn't, apparently. "I managed to not die. Attempted murder's a crime, you realize."

...She doesn't say anything in return, her bag-accented gaze still unyielding.

Although, considering the situation she's got going on here… if she can afford to make gratuitous bone traps and play with toys, she's probably not just some useless degenerate stealing people's wallets.

"Perhaps we could make a deal, however." I open the grounds for offers between the two of us.

"...A deal, you say?" She's been quicker onto that than anything else. "And what could I offer you?"

"Human meat, booze, regular food, money." One of these things. "...Not all in that order, or altogether, but simply one of these things."

...She looks up for a moment, before returning her gaze to me. "The human meat will be no problem. So long as I do not experience any… tride interruptions."

This works. "Well, then, that will be everything. Just bring the meat across the street." I even made it rhyme, how delightful.

"Why send you away empty-handed?" The cat girl actually gave me a flat smile, marking the first time she's emoted since we've met.

She whistled into her fingers.

Tick, tick. Tick, tick- tick-

Shu~nk! The huge, bone and goo mat that had ruined the whole 'bone trap' thing lifted up.

A spider girl clad in a white kimono lifted herself up and out of it, her huge, expansive limbs beginning golden yellow and ending in faded black.

"What have you made of my sheddings…?" The girl's voice reverberated with unnatural volume, her legs and body quickly filling the room. "Whatever you've done with them, they're near unsalvageable. What a pity."

...Me and Neko stare up at the black-haired spider woman silently, until Neko speaks up. "I would like to see one of the humans we've captured. We're making a donation to a local food bank, and it would be a nice gesture."

...The spider girl grinned. "Humans eat humans?"

Neko shrugged.

...Bringing one of her arms over the abyss behind her, she twisted her wrist around impossibly, as if to reel something up.

Which, she did. Her string was nearly invisible, lifting up a cocooned person from the depth. Well, almost a cocooned person. Some of the cocoon- and by extension, person- is missing. "Leftovers."

Fwoof. The corpse part bag of silk lands softly before us.

...Neko replies to her after another awkward beat. "When I was down there, your web was a mess. Clean it up."

Almost as if ignoring her, the huge spider girl began to retrace her steps into the crevice of the earth. "Mnn~h…"

Shunk. The bone- or, shedding- trap was replaced over her lair.

Neko and me look at one another again. "I trust this mutual relationship will work out for the both of us." The cat girl speaks bluntly and formally. "Have a nice day."

I pick up the uneven cocoon of parts, and it shifts in my hands. "...I suppose I will."

With my gift package, I move out into the main room of the not-a-hotel again. There was another door to a 'right wing' of the place, but that doesn't really matter now.

Ema's in the front lobby, her arms folded. "...Aw, they gave ya a gif' package, did they? I thought ya were gonna fuck 'em up."

"Changed plans." No real point in making an enemy of someone resourceful. Also, she's a cat girl. You don't make enemies of cat girls. "There was also a really big spider."

While we move for the door, Ema waves off the notion. "Coulda just casted some fire shit an' been done wit' it, bu' wh'ever…"

Di- ding. The dull bell tolls as we exit the almost superficially lit front for human consumption.

/ / / / FREAKIN HAKUGYOKUROU / / / /

END OF CHAPTER 82.5

PROTAGONIST: Matthew, the Debatably Sane Outsider, Lord of Edges, Scissor-Slinging Slasher, Insurance Fraud Expert, Used Goods Reseller, Evil Spirit Cultivator, Shrine Maiden Evader, Professional Youkai Developer, Legitimate Business Man, Transfeline-Loli

=o=

SKILLS:

Gravity - Basic space magic. Slowly expands a dark, spherical field from above the target, which weighs them down when fully initialized. Only works on the feeble at the moment.

Saw Blade - Advanced non-elemental attack. Summons a saw blade to fall from directly above the caster, which whirls forth into infinity before dying. Very effective slicing on those not resistant to it.

=o=

PRIMARY WEAPON: Dash Scissors - Succubus training tool. Doubles as scissors for kinky, cloth-cutting occasions. Or stabbing. Sleek, black design.

SKILLS:

Succubatic Slide Dodge - Slide artificially in a horizontal direction of the wielder's choosing. Spammable, but makes the wielder tired with excessive use.

=o=

OFFHAND ITEMS: [A Single Rubber Glove] - For those moments one needs to touch a live power wire with one hand and fap with the other. Protects hand from zaps.

INVENTORY:

Pocket Mirror - For admiring my loli-ness, and other mirror-related activities. Contained in suit pockets.

[Bag of Holding] - Takes up no inventory space, because it is the inventory space. Has nine slots, and is easily accessible.

Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!

Quick Scissorang - Non-elemental scissors that are enchanted to return to the owner with ferocity. Not that powerful of a weapon, but combined with strong string it can be used like a powerful grappling hook. Looks like it belongs in a Barbie catalog.

Shadow Hell Scissors - Red scissors accented with elemental gems. Fire elemental weapon. Ignites with every swing. Boosts power of fire spells.

SKILLS:

Fire Aura - Confers forty percent fire resistance when equipped.

Fire - Small, homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes. Doesn't do much damage.

Fira - Sizable fireball with less effective homing and speed, but greater ignite chance and initial fire damage.

Dark Fire - Basic dark and fire combo spell. Very slow, tight homing black fireball. Does both dark and fire damage. May ignite foes.

Dark Fira - Moderate dark and fire combo spell. Even slower black fireball, with even weirder homing. May ignite foes. May reduce target's magic defense.

Hellfire - Low-tier vampiric fire spell; less effective when used by me. Vertical wall of three fireballs, with no homing. May ignite foes.

=o=

Blessed Steel Scissors - Stained lightly with dried blood from a young human female. Sharp, shiny-ish, and to the point! Also blessed...

Steel-alloy String - An experimental item provided by Alice as part of her testing. She uses these herself to manage her dolls, or so I'm told.

A Tuft of Cloth Strings - Pink, regular cotton string. It's soft, and clean.

Danger Scissors Plus - Let's get dangerous. Randomly spawns anything from anywhere at any time at all, dependent on the power of the party or people around it while it is equipped.

(one more space remaining)

[Backpack] - Allows extended inventory, of twenty slots. Can hold larger items, but it takes longer to pull them out. Items inside are safer. It's also baby barf green.

Hedge Cutters - Rusty lawn pruning tool used by farmers to keep the vile hedges at bay. They're also sharp, so they've probably been used more than once in self-defense.

Teal Stone - Cool and refreshing to hold, exuding power of the wind. It's sort of shiny, too. Perhaps usable as a reagent.

Hackjob Rifle - A pseudo-railgun, made from an AK-47 barrel and a mangled toy gun. Laced with duct tape and wires to function, powered by electrical scissors, and uses small iron pellets as ammunition. Explodes violently if fed anything non-iron as ammo. Outside is coated with vegetable oil and must be wetted regularly to avoid violence upon powering up. Quite powerful.

Water Scissors - Scissors that continuously produce water. How troublesome.

Goldfish Snack Crackers - They're smiling. They might make a good snack...

Modern-ish Surge Protector - Protects against surges. Not very useful without unified electrical practices in housing. Can still be used as a paperweight and a brick, though.

[Rubber Pouch] - Stores electrical objects safely. Too small to add extra inventory, but doesn't take up any space when it's filled. Currently holding electric scissors.

Electrical Scissors - Must be held by gloves at all times, lest they cause electrical fires. Can cause severe shocking and electricity-induced stunning in individuals susceptible, including myself if I'm stupid. Unable to be turned off.

Holy Pot - A torso-sized holy pot used as a vehicle by flufflekind. Has holy properties and resistances for obvious reasons.

Financial Officer's Card - A card handed to me by the chief financial officer of the human village. Bears a complex triangular insignia and shines depending on the angle you hold it. Has some Japanese printed on it.

Love Dart - Some dart with strong aphrodisiac mixed into the tip, which pierced me.

Red Organ Cooler - Secure cooler capable of storing ice for great periods of time, as well as organs. Small, but big enough to get a single job done easily.

(eight more spaces remaining)

==o==

PARTY:

Shikome, the Black Scion of the Saigyou

WEAPON: Dark Tendrils - Able to create tendrils from any part of her body, she can use them for powerful dark/physical attacks.

SKILLS:

You know, I really don't know. Tendrils, thrusting attacks.

INVENTORY:

[Defiled Kimono] - Coated in the coagulated blood of numerous unlucky people. Grants pockets.

(two inventory spaces remaining)

==o==

Rumia, Youkai of the Dusk

WEAPON: Unarmed.

SKILLS:

Spell Cards - Rumia has a variety of spell cards, like most named touhous.

Dark Biosphere: Sealed - Coats the user in a dark orb, blinding them. Works best when it's already dark out.

Darkness Affinity - Rumia is naturally one hundred percent darkness and cursing resistant. In turn, she's fifty percent weak to holy and weakening.

INVENTORY:

[Rumia's Outfit] - Some kind of outfit. I'm not sure how Rumia maintains it. Properties unknown. Grants pockets.

Red Ribbon - It's a ribbon in her hair. It's small, too. Takes up no inventory space. Properties unknown.

(two inventory spaces remaining)

==o==

Vanilla, the Loli Vampire

WEAPON: Unarmed.

SKILLS:

Hypnosis - She can hypnotise people, apparently.

INVENTORY:

[Cloak] - A dull black cloak. No inventory space, but takes up none when worn.

(no inventory space)

==o==

Isami, the Twin-Tailed Demon Trap

WEAPON: Unarmed?

INVENTORY:

School Girl Clothing - Fetish outfit, probably.

Things - Good question.

(one space remaining)

==o==

Thalli, the Long-Haired Demon Trap

WEAPON: Unarmed?

INVENTORY:

Pink and White Dress - It's a rather feminine dress.

Things - I don't know.

(two spaces remaining)

==o==

ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:

this was a pretty fun chapter - w -

creative ideas among the people considering it (read: me and proofreaders) were a little nebulous and mixed but it still turned out consistent

varied happenings, varied looks at things, and a bit of a more well-established day to day for matt- aside from the whole genetically modifying him/herself to be a cat girl thing that doesn't quite happen everyday

it's a pretty strong all-around, with the only real vague happening probably being matt's brief kerfluffle with that earth rabbit, but y'know, a little arbitrary throwing-our-MC-against-things never hurt too badly in moderation

should be an all in all strong start to things dude

...there's always something weirdly abstract about receiving and giving criticisms of works based on technical writing ability rather than the actual intent put off by the work in question

i guess it's the difference between "this is what resonated with me and what it made me feel" and "well logically this doesn't work and you should've sequenced that better and this pace will just never be legitimately good and this way of approaching it just will never work in this way and that sort of overlays what it is"; it's kind of uncomfortable but also humbling and important to factor into growth

and y'know the biggest excuse to keep pushin' through that is that it's only a part 'a the whole, yo! s'a ROLLERCOASTER

as always, see you all next time!

CO-AUTHOR'S NOTE:

fun fun times

when doing something, the main thing you should be asking to yourself, instead of "why," is "why not"

this is the basis for many good decisions, such as this one

there usually are many ways to answer that question, so then the burden lies on you to decide whether they are valid enough to make a change of plans

in this case, yes but we did it anyway. the only concern is if this strays too far from the original intent, because "lolsorandom" only gets you so far until it loses its edge

there's not much else to say but that

have fun