Sitting amongst the plush pink and red petals, she looked like peace in pure form.
Her hair spilled over her shoulder when she hunched into her book, immersed in whatever knowledge she was gaining between the old and worn pages. She was alone, this little garden a private affair of hers according to Zeke. The perfect place for him, with the peace and quiet, the lack of eyes that could catch the smallest slip in his facade. Eren had managed to keep his distance up until then, when he saw her sitting there - how could he just walk away when he was so close?
"You will understand, Eren."
Eren took those first steps, admittedly shaky with each one.
"She just..."
Little Alida had yet to notice him, even if he was just a few steps away.
"She..."
When she does look up, Eren understands.
"She makes the world beautiful again."
He understands everything.
The wind is heavy and fast when it sweeps through the garden, startling Alida and causing the pages of her book to flutter wildly from the force. She clamps a hand down onto the sun hat gracing her head, a smile on her face when she stares at Eren longer than he is normally comfortable with. Was this how Zeke had felt, when he was first alone with her? What about Reiner?
Could they explain the sudden bloom of color when her eyes met his?
"Eren," that voice again, the one that makes his name something soft, like a feathered pillow. "I was hoping I would see you again."
He was tongue tied? Eren hadn't went through such unpleasantries in years, so why was it happening now? Why did he not feel agitation at the mere implications?
"Sit with me." She pats the empty space beside her on the stone bench. "It's a lovely day, wasted alone."
Eren does sit, hunching into himself a bit without any back support. Alida sat proper, because of course she did, thumbing her way back through her book to find the spot stolen by the wind. Eren remains silent, staring down at the cracked stone beneath his tattered shoes; so thin, he could almost feel the ground through the sole. They stayed like that for a long time, the silence between them not uncomfortable in the slightest, but Eren still felt smothered by it.
"Zeke apologized for your antisocial nature," Alida says, a chuckle following the confession. "He's already adapted to the role of big brother, hasn't he?" Eren doesn't reply, but she is unperturbed. "His worry for my feelings is sweet, but I told him you would approach me when you were ready."
"How could you be sure I would?" Eren finally spoke, though his voice was so slow, it's a wonder she even heard his question.
"I had a feeling." Her smile is bright and inviting, something Eren has not seen in a very long time. "If you had not, I admit, I would have been quite disappointed."
'We can't have that, can we?'
They lapsed back into pleasant silence again, Alida reading her book, and Eren staring at the sky that was turning a soft orange at the moment. Eren couldn't help but wonder at the why's and how's to where he was right now, the reason he was sitting beside this innocent stranger. What had drawn him to her before he even knew who she was? Why had Zeke introduced them? What was he hoping would happen?
Things Eren could never ask.
Eren watches her escapades with Reiner often, just out of view, but typically present.
Alida seems to spend the most time with Reiner, hidden away in the garden more often than not. Eren is aware they leave the hospital grounds, but it is never for long; it makes Eren wonder about just as to why she was held here in the first place. She likes to dance, and Reiner obliges her without question every time. It's almost peaceful, watching the man twirl her across the cobblestone, lift her into the air and cause those delicate bubbles of laughter to spill out.
"The way you look at her..." Eren questions one night, watching them from afar. "And you just give her away? Why?"
Zeke chuckles from beside him, eyes never once leaving Alida as she danced through the garden. "I am not giving her away, Eren." He notices the way Eren's eyes flicker back to her wanton laughter. "She's just...not like us. She's special."
Eren doesn't question what he means, that much was obvious from the first time they had been introduced. Despite how much of a love-sick puppy he felt he was sometimes, she seemed to make it okay, nothing to be embarrassed about.
"How much does she know?"
"She knows what we are, and she knows what's coming."
Eren tightens hist fingers into fists. "And you still linger?"
Zeke shakes his head, easy smile still plastered on his face. "You've met her...try saying no to her now."
He planned this.
Eren doesn't object, doesn't argue, his fist even unclenches at his side. He knew what Zeke was talking about, that swell that was coming on; an unstoppable force. There was something his brother was trying to tell him, trying to explain how this wasn't an entirely fucked situation for the clueless girl that tended to her roses. Eren didn't need an explanation, he both understood and didn't understand what his brother meant when he spoke about this girl. That comfort, the peace she managed to bring to these monsters of war. Eren still felt it was cruel, but...
"I want to get closer," he whispers, brow furrowing in sheer frustration.
Zeke nodded. "I know."
But they watched from afar, this sad look coming onto Zeke's face before he left without saying a word. Eren watched his brother walk away for a moment, lingering on what could be wrong. It doesn't last long though, because he fucking hears her again, and understand just why Zeke had that look on his face.
"I get it," Eren muttered, leaning against the wall to his right and watching Reiner lift Alida into the air again, spinning her in a small circle. "I do."
Eren finds himself quite greedy with their mornings right away.
He cannot tell what is happening with every day that passes in her presence, but he doesn't seem to mind it after awhile. It is still suffocating, surely, but the pressure is...nice.
It is an easy companionship that Eren finds difficult to comprehend. Shouldn't he be uncomfortable?
They bask in the sun most days, and then there are the days that she reads poetry and books on kingdoms Eren could only imagine. Zeke's sad look follows Eren with every step taken, with every moment spent with Alida; is it understanding, or is it guilt that plagues the younger Yeager brother? Eren doesn't know, but it is easy to push to the back of his mind when Alida is looking at him the way she does.
"Why are you like this?" Eren questions her one morning, the sun barely rising behind them.
Alida has that soft look again, the one where she doesn't seem quite there, like she is lost in a day dream of him. "I just..." She tilts her head back, eyes closed as the gentle breeze wafted over them; the smell of roses clung to their clothes by now. "I just feel like I met you, once, in a dream from a long time ago."
What the hell was that supposed to mean? What was Eren supposed to do with that kind of a sentence?
"You're...weird."
She blinks at him slowly, eyes flickering between both of his cheeks where it was Eren's turn to blush. "What a pretty boy," she whispers.
Was that the first time she had touched him? It had to be. The shocks her touch gave off against his cheek, he could never forget such a thing. Leaning into her touch was a new thing as well, the sudden tears on his lashes, and the warmth he felt from such an innocent gesture. Alida whispered more soft things, her palm burning his cheek - a fire Eren would willingly step into.
And so he did, knowing he shouldn't.
It felt so wrong, how soft her hair was between his fingers. It definitely shouldn't give him such a thrill when she whispers his name and other sweet things, when all he does is rub tears into the palm of her hand, the pads of her fingers. It shouldn't be so easy, should it, to just...break away in front of a literal stranger?
Guess he would find out for himself.
Was this how Zeke felt? How Reiner feels?
What a bittersweet story they all write together.
But what was the point in all of this? What was the point in getting this attached to such a fragile thing, when they had that little time that Zeke continuously reminded him of? Was there something else he wasn't telling Eren, something about this girl he wasn't sharing with him? There had to be some kind of...
"Some kind of power," he whispers, forehead pressed against her shoulder. "What is it, what kind of power do you have? What didn't he tell me?"
Alida seems to hesitate, the pattern she had been tracing onto the back of his hand faltering, if only for a second. "Just a girl," she says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world.
If she was just a girl, then how did she make him feel like this? Make him actually feel something, for the first time in a long time; had he really been so consumed by hatred? Alida seemed to make those moments spent in such anger pathetic and trivial, a waste of time. She seemed to have the same effect on his brother, on Reiner, and why was Eren fighting it so hard? Maybe because it was almost too good to be true. How did people like him and Zeke, like Reiner, find someone like this to accept them?
She deserved much more than what these broken vessels could muster, right?
"I want to understand," Eren murmurs, the toes of his shoes the only thing his eyes can focus on.
Zeke is there with him again, watching over Alida as a pair while Reiner is away; surely the oaf wasn't aware of Eren's presence in the city. They watch her sit comfortably on her bench, reading a new book, her the heavy braid of her hair draped over one shoulder. She looks far from a patient of the ward, she looked like one of the well-off women Eren occasionally saw visiting family in the hospital. Alida belonged somewhere else, anywhere but here, a place where she could find people that wouldn't leave her behind.
"I know it's...sudden." Zeke scratches at the back of his neck, sympathy in his eyes when he looks over at Eren. "She wanted to meet you, though, and I couldn't say no. Not to her."
"You act like she has complete control over you," Eren mutters, almost uncomfortable with the way Zeke looked at Alida; like he were encroaching upon a private moment. "So why is she dancing around with Reiner? Why is she reading poetry to me in the garden?"
Zeke shook his head, smiling softly. "Of course she does that."
"Why do you keep dancing around the question?" Eren was getting annoyed with his brothers elusive behavior.
Zeke's smile slowly fell, a far away look in his eyes. "There are...things that I want, Eren." He returned his gaze to Alida, that fucking smile on his face again, even if it was a little sad. "I'm sure you can guess, they mostly involve her. But they involve you as well, Reiner to a smaller degree."
"Why is he even involved with this mess?" And it was a mess, that much was clear to the both of them, surely. "He's the last person I expected to see on her arm."
Reiner looked good there, though, Eren had to admit to himself. They would be a pretty couple in another life, blessing the world with adorable children and living good lives. The thought made Eren...sad, if that was even possible. Zeke looked sad as well, watching the couple talking in hushed whispers, boisterous laughter, gentle hands held close to one another.
"She wanted to meet him," Zeke murmured, crossing his arms over his chest. "I waited as long as I could, but gave in when I saw how it effected her."
"She loves him?"
Zeke shook his head. "It's not like that, I assure you."
The wind was all they could hear for a moment, Eren's question held down by his understanding. Eren's question wasn't a serious one, he innately knew Reiner would ever take a step like that. But what was it that made him feel such a way? What had stopped him thus far? The clenched fist at Zeke's side gave Eren his answer swiftly, the pieces clicking into place quite easily.
"I see," Eren muttered, craning his head back to look up at the sky. "All you had to say was she was yours."
There was no response from Zeke this time, just the man's unwavering gaze on Alida in the garden.
The more Eren watched his brother, the more his questions seemed senseless. He was so ready to fight something that he just knew would bring him some kind of peace, and why? Was it the unfairness of the situation that made Eren push back against this as hard as he was?
"What a situation she's gotten us all into." Eren sighs heavily, frowning.
Zeke smiles a little, nodding slowly. "Yes, what a situation indeed..."
