(in which we're loaves...)
Genkan's embrace is a lot more appreciable, now that we're not getting sent across the cosmos by bullshit… although still a little clunky 'cause I'm being jankily dragged back down to ground level!
When we reach the bottom of the green-ish wood house, she lets me go. "There."
Last time on Dragonball Z: we crashed on a dude's porch- literally, not in the sleeping way! An' then he made us steak, told us he was a crime lord before makin' fun of us, an' then his friend took a bite out of a fluffle!
"You're snug…" I want… more huggage, dude. Just- she's so soft. But, maybe it can wait…!
"...Am I, now. You sound like Hana." She receives my compliment idly…! After shiftin' a little, she kept goin'... "I'm-... not sure what we should be doing next."
I've never been in these village alleys, before! Except, we're not that far from Maria's place, from the looks of things. Yeah- just freakin'... we're back where we started!
'We were supposed to head for the bar!' Maria yells out in my head! Wau~! 'We should hurry…!'
"I suppose it's too early to sleep." Wiping herself off a little again, Genkan seems to find some resolve… "What were we doing, again?"
"Maria says we were tryin'a find our dooplegongers." I remind her, as Maria reminded me, to remind her! "At the bar place."
...Genkan just kinda tilts her head. "Oh. Right." She doesn't look terribly enthused by the idea, though. "It's important that we do."
"Ye. We can get some ice cream after, 'er somethin'...!" I advertise the good snack foods to her. "'Cause if we don't stop their inevitable rampage… it's gonna be a rampage!"
"Stopping them will probably be stress relief, compared to everything else." Articulating her fingers a little and brushin' herself off summore, Genkan looks ready! "Let's hurry. We've already wasted a lot of time."
Oo- hoh! She takes off ahead of me, and I end up following her! By this point we've pocketed all our crap from before, so we can just-
Cla- clack, clatter! Oh, shit- what-...
Oh. Me and Genkan both flinched, but it was just Seikatsu fucking up a garbage can.
"stop"
...Genkan looks down, and that fluffle that had its side bit off is staring up at her. It's on all fours for no discernable reason.
"Hi." Genkan greets the snugglemuffin, her expression plain and unassuming.
"no" It refuses her. "im home now"
Soundlessly, a really big fluffle descends from above! Oh shit…!
...It can't get between the alleys, because it's as big as a house. Still soundlessly, it does floaty little leaps on the two roofs that happen to be blocking it from falling into the alley…
Looking vaguely startled, Genkan holds an arm up!
Fwa~sh! The center of its torso begins to freeze, a big chunk generating in the core of it-
BAA~M! The chunk is way heavier than it entirely, and it gets jammed between the rooftops! Woah- holy shit, it cracked the woodwork…! Now the fluffle's stuck, dude...
"Um…" Once she gets over the abruptness of the situation, she realizes what she's done! "Whoops."
'Brad- use fire on the chunk!' Maria, that's gonna be like a freakin' nuke went off…! S'also not metal, s'just a big piece 'a ice!
...So instead, I just stare up. The stuck fluffle is now wiggling its finny limbs about…!
The tiny one headbutts Genkan's ankle. "no!"
"I think- we should just leave…" Sliding up to me, Genkan starts to goad me along…! "Come, Brad."
"But- yo, it's tubby…" It's big and really huggable looking, dude!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
I let Genkan goad me because she's good at that sort of thing, dude.
...And, uh, hu~h.
So we're in front 'a Small Packages. There ain't no one over here!
For some reason, these generic dudes outside the place with helmets and scarfs on sound like they're freakin' zombies."Tha~t's when… whe~n…" Oof, dude. "...Who~?"
"You say… somethi~n'?" The other bouncer looks over at 'em! What're they, eighty…!?
"...Ah." Genkan let out a little noise from existing. "So. We don't seem to be too late."
'She's not here, yet…?' Maria's voice is curious, dude. 'I guess we'll just wait here.'
Wait here, huh. We could, dude!
"Maria suggests we wait, dude. Stake 'em out, dude, stake 'em out." We're gonna stake 'em out!
"...Wait." Genkan looks like she's considering the option… "Actually, that sounds good. We may as well explore this street, in the meantime." Yeah, dude!
'I think she just really wanted an excuse to relax, too. I don't think I blame her.' Yeah- that's what I feel too! I mean, both feel she feels, and feel myself! Lotsa feels…!
Actually-...
Turning right to the left, I see an ice cream stand thing! Wait- is it…? Oh- that kid just got an ice cream, so it is!
"Dude!" I move for the stall that's almost across the street exactly! "There's some ice cream, over here…!"
"Oh…?" Genkan's interested, dude!
So we skedaddle on over!
...The two of us loom over this freakin' little noob as he waits in line for his ice cream. He's like half my height. Me and Genkan tower over him…!
Thankfully, childhood obliviousness serves him well, and he ignores the embodiments of Germany and Russia standing behind him. "Hi- I want chocolate…" He placed some yen coins on the stall counter.
...Oh, shit, the stall lady didn't like the way we towered over him! As she gets him his ice cream, she glares us down!
He takes it without another word and just leaves. Just- yeah, bye…!
Aw. Now it's my turn, dude. "Yo ho ho. What-"
"You're a new face, around here." She just up an' freakin', talks over me. "...Don't think I didn't notice. The way you stared at him."
"No~, we are not the rapist people, son." I am totally convincing!
...She looks even more jaded than she did before!
"I'm sorry we look the way we do." Genkan's retort seems somehow less tactful than mine, just in a different entire way! "We've come to buy your product."
...Jesus, we've already made this ice cream chick hate our guts! "What would you like, then?"
"Ice cream." Genkan- hold up, now…!
Oh. The lady just starts scooping random flavors from the open canisters before us. Aw, yo, she gave me vanilla!
Genkan got strawberry. "...Ah." It's fitting, innit. Ichigo-yuki, dude.
"Two hundred yen." The woman demands of us!
Cli- clink. I place the yen on the counter. "Here. S'your fluff money, dude…"
"no" Oh, wait, dude!
Crouching down, I lift the juice-soaked, half-bit fluff. "Here. It's shaped like a friend." I hand it over to her-
She smacks it from my hand! "Just- go away!" Hoh, shit…!
"wal- uwalalg" What. Dude- the fluffle made cuddly noises when it flopped on the floor.
"Shaped like a friend…" Genkan echoes my sentiment... "Something about that-"
"Go!" Shit, lady!
So we do that- we get goin'!
Me and Genkan are now… a house down from the stall.
"What a condescending woman." Genkan condescends the condescending woman retroactively…!
'Well- to be fair, you guys can look pretty menacing, I think.' Do you mean to tell me a nazi with the world's fluffiest hair is intimidating. 'Cause I think not…!
"Yeah, dude." I agree idly, 'cause she was a little… confrontational! "Maria says we're menacing…!"
"Menacing…? Us?" Genkan seemed to doubt this, for a moment, before looking me and herself over. "...We are sort of… if not imposing, stand-out. Stand-out… ish?"
Omf. Mmh. Ice cream's good, dude. Holy fuck. I haven't had it for months, since summer ended. Today's… pretty brisk, which is a new and strange and terrifying feeling, but this suit's actually pretty warm. Temperature-wise anyway; s'not got any of the good ice resistance! Ju~st… dark resistance. What'm I, edgy-resistant now…!?
"...If yer cold resistant, how's ice cream taste?" You know- the question just came to me, but seeing Genkan eat a strawberry cone spurred it!
...She looks up at me snuggly-like. "Sweet." Aw…! Jesus, she's cute…!
Let's eat this ice cream before it melts while I freakin' ogle Genkan for existing. Vanilla's a pretty good flavor, dude…
While we enjoy our snacks, we kinda look around, but no one comes. Freakin'...
Still a sunny da~y. Thankfully, we didn't see Joon or Shion on the way back, an' we kept our eyes open too!
'When you guys're done, I think I'll buy one too.' Maria considered aloud ta me. 'Just, you know, switch out… and walk up myself.' So you don't get mistaken for a sexual predator like we were!
Really, today's just pretty good, both climate-wise and visually. I wanna explore that blue sky, somehow!
...Actually, in theory, there's a few ways I got. And there is the yin-yang flail-o-copter. How the hell did I have the arm strength to use that thing. Just thinking about using it now sort of scares me…!
...Meanwhile we're in this freakin' sandlot of a village! Chasin' down ourselves for bein' angry homicidal maniacs! We got real freakin' derailed from coming here to do justice! Now we're stoppin' ourselves from doin' injustice. Life comes at you fast, dude...!
Ma~n. We might as well go jump around on rooftops, for all the good sitting here eatin' ice cream's doin'. This is some good ice cream, though…
We're gettin' down to the bases of our cones, dude.
While we just bum out on the street, we watch the passerbys, too. Freakin'... the common villager wear's pretty plain. Brown shit…! An' some faded colors, for other shit!
Woah. 'Cept for this girl, she's… she's literally just a rabbit girl. In a suit!
"Yes- yes, I have ID." She holds up her ID to another guard that's hecklin' her. "Beat it."
She's got deep green, bobby hair and big white boots of doom. The boots even have arrows on 'em pointin' down, so you know she means business, son! The ground is down. The revelation of doom…
Once the guard stops hecklin' her, she continues down the road… towards our direction, pretty much.
Layin' her eyes on me, she begins to approach! Wait- what the frik's she want with us…!? We're eating ice cream, go away!
Marching up to me, she begins to grin. "Hey. I almost didn't recognize ya, dressed like a nazi and everything." Oh, shit, she knows what nazis are. Also- who the hell is this…!? Do I know her?
"Who the frik're you…?" I have no idea who this is!
She rolled her eyes. "Please. I'm just here on assignment."
She held up this metal pole before herself. Well, s'more like a metal canister, made of purple and periwinkle metal.
Fwio~m. Oh, woa~h… it's like, a hologram projector thing, dude! From the canister's bottom, a cyan, luminescent panel stretched down super fluidly!
The picture depicted is of a little girl, with like, pigtails, dark purple hair, a freakin' weird dark kimono thing-... this is that Shikome girl! The one with Matt!
At the bottom of the window-... oh. 'Wanted'. Oo~h. Someone messed up, du~de.
"Figured with all the hubbub…" The rabbit girl smirked back at me. "I could get this job taken care of, if you know what I mean. You're that Brad kid, right?"
S'this a freakin' Eientei hitman…!? "May~be. Whaddaya want from me, noob…" I regard her suspiciously, dude. Ba~d nugget…
snap snap
...She looks down, to see that little fluffle that's still alive somehow snapping its shell nose up at her.
Well, anyway. Since she's just gathering her thoughts I'll interject! "Yeah- I think a lot of other people tried, and failed." I communicate to her! "That uh, Shikome chick on yer flier. She's pretty fuckin' tough…! Me an' her," I gesture ta Genkan, "we stormed in with like six friends, and she chased us out an' killed one've us. Some shit!"
"Ha~h." Deep green-haired bunny just kinda acknowledged that. "Sucks to be yo~u. Last time I ran inta' them, they ran off with their tails between their legs." She's got like, a constant sneer.
Genkan actually contributes, diverting from her ice cream. "Please, be cautious."
...The girl just stares back at her dryly. "...I'm sure a yuki-onna'd know about risks."
"...What's that supposed to mean?" Genkan pouts back at her.
"O~h, nothi~ng." The sass on this freakin' bunny! "You misfits know anything about Shikome here, or what."
"Oh- yeah, she killed Mokou no sweat!" I start rackin' up how dangerous she sounds to dissuade her, or encourage her to bring more TNT…! "We had Mokou with us, by the way."
"If it was here in the village, it's no wonder." Oof. She's smart, dude. "Only way to fight Mokou's when you got her by the balls. S'just not worth it, otherwise…"
Smiling, the girl looked away. "That's enough killin' time. Back to work!"
She walks away from us, done with our uselessness. And, uh, walks away from Small Packages! She seems to be scanning the storefronts though, so I got no idea where the frik she plans to go.
"We keep meeting unsettling people, today…" Genkan's finished her ice cream. Pleasantly, the cones have been edible, 'cause y'know, how the fuck would you do paper in this society for just ice cream. S'more sense logistically now to make it all food!
Crunch. Aw, yeah. S'a good cone…
'She was kinda scary.' Y'think so…? I didn't really care!
"im neat" The fluff that's anything but neat declares at our feetsies.
"No." Genkan counter-argues, dude.
Woosh. Oh- shit, someone else descends from above…!
It's-... uh. Um. Her name starts with a K.
This pink-haired girl with masks floating around her head approaches us. Her dress is a lighter pink, and very poofy. An', for some reason, smiles and frowns run up and down along the fabric…!
"Theater girl!" I name her on the spot! "I dunno who you are!" Kokoro, that was… part of her name. Kokoro from Kokomo…!
"...I don't know you, either." Her voice is the driest voice I think I've ever heard, and that's saying something, considering some of the guards around here. Just, pure monotone dude. Bass boost it up, and you've got an explosion, son! "You're perfectly possessed." Oh shit.
"Yeah, dude." I nod gingerly… "I knew you well."
Fwish. Her front-facin' mask hangin' on her bangs changed! It went from this goofy guy with polka-dot borders to one of a monkey.
"You've deceived her." Genkan gently points out my actions...!
Fwiosh! Oh, shit, she suddenly switched out.
"Hey-ho, hey-ho!" Yo! It's Nitori! "We're doin' experiments on perfect possession!" She gives us a big wave, standin' on her heels! "You guys know any danmaku?"
"Ye- no." I shake my head!
'Effectively no.' Maria denies it promptly, too!
"What about your master?" Nitori smirks at me…!
What. "...I'm not into that sort of thing, son."
"Your partner." She stares me over vainly…! "You live in a cave!?" Weren't you supposed to be shy or something!?
"Yes." Genkan nods at the question.
'I'm gonna switch in…' Hoh!
I stare down. "I'm not long for this world, dude..."
...Nitori looks worried!
Fwiosh!
==== MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Fwiosh! Oo- woah. I landed on my boots…
"To, um, answer your question… no- not really, no." I shake my head at the kappa girl. "I'm sorry."
"...Hu~h. You able to see anything yet?" Wha- oh, she's not talking to me. She looks away, talking to her pink-haired friend…
Fwiosh! They switch out again. The girl with the many masks takes her place.
I recognize her. She caused a disturbance in the village, some time ago. It didn't really compare to what happened in my life after, but it was alarming for me at the time. I'm not sure what went on that day, but there was a lot of danmaku being thrown around…
"They're joined by a bond of… distilled, partial hope, and ambition." Um? "It's not an obvious connection." Is she… giving us a spirit reading, or something? I'm confused.
Fwiosh! The blue-haired kappa girl switches in for her friend. She's floating in the air to forgo the landing. "That sounds incredibly human and sorta boring! Oo- but, if we could quantify this data…!"
'Dude.' Brad-... 'You should hold up the fluffle, and tell them it's inherited my soul.' What are you doing, Brad. I half wanna do it, but it's just so embarrassing that I can't even begin to imagine attempting it. And- when I stutter and fumble because it's so dumb, that's gonna make it even worse… 'If you don't do it, the fluffle will pass on to the next life, dude!' I don't think that's how it works at all!
Fwiosh! Wow, these guys switch a lot. We only switch once in like, a few minutes, but these guys go crazy with it.
The pink-haired girl stares down at me, her deep, empty cyan eyes peering into mine. "...I missed this, at first. There seems to be some kind of camaraderie, here. Their morale is slowly rising."
'Our yeast is rising.' Brad, no.
Fwiosh! The kappa's back, again. Just watching them switch twenty times is exhausting. "Well- no foolin', huh. She was practically giggling just a second ago. That nazi guy was probably makin' fun of us or somethin'..." Uh oh. Brad's been found out.
'Oh shit, boy…!' You've done it now!
...After a moment, she looked over at Genkan. "And who're you, in all of this…?"
Genkan neutrally stared back. "...What do you want me to say? We're friends."
...Shrugging, the kappa girl turns away. "Seen weirder, I guess. Alright, let's boogie!"
Cli- click! Springing out of her backpack, a rod extends, before another rod extends from a ball at the end of that one-
Swoo- swoo- swooswooswooswoosh…! From the top of the big, long rod came helicopter blades! Quickly, the kappa ascended into the air with its aid, leaving us behind.
…
I turn to Genkan. "I'm gonna go buy my ice cream, now…" I think everything that just happened warrants a treat.
She gives me a nod. "Sure…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
'You should've cast Scent Pillow on the clerk lady.' Do you think I wanna be thrown outta the village… and, for sexual deviancy of all things? 'She deserves it, dude!' No one does. Except Joon- I think Joon deserved it.
Blueberry flavor's good. I've never had blueberries before, but if this is what they taste like, I want some…
"I'm baking." Genkan looks unhappy. Is she sweating, somehow…?
"It- it's just above freezing…" I'm not sure how she's getting hot in this weather.
"The sun isn't kind." Genkan communicated, shaking her head… "We should find an interior, or shade." An interior.
'We should find a posterior.' Bra~d.
...Sliding my staff from my back, I point at it her and lower my ice cream a little. "Blizzard."
Fwa~sh. She's hit by a tiny ice magic spread, and jolts back a little. "Oh…!"
...Then, she smiles. "I suppose that works, too. Thank you."
"Yeah." I wonder if we could make ice cream. Genkan could freeze stuff, so all we need is like, juice. That'd be kinda cool… and- and these accidental puns can screw off.
thump, thump
The fluffle's butting its head against my ankle. "im a thwasher" Okay.
"Aside from the heat, today's rather nice…" Genkan also thinks it looks pretty good out. It makes me wanna do something…
Guess it's a good thing we're gonna be running into our clones, at some point. Other me is super late.
'Whaddaya mean, the heat…!?' I've trapped Brad in my mind, so he can't heckle her for now. 'It's like forty!'
Crunch. It's cone eating time!
It's really good. The breeze today is great, too…
"It really is quiet like this." Genkan reflects on how quiet I am. "...The fluffle is shaped like a friend." What.
At my concerned stare, she grins. "Honestly, it's a rather cute descriptor…"
Shaped like a friend. What's a friend shaped like in the first place…
fwif. It headbutts my ankle again. It- it tickles.
"You're under attack." Genkan- don't make me wanna hug it. It's probably super dirty now…
'Aw. It's snuggleable.' Brad, no~...!
While we stand about across the street from the bar place summore, some other girl walks up to us.
She's pretty cute. She's a little taller than me, but she's got this really cute hat on.
"Hm, hm…" She also looks kinda tired. She's got greyish- more sliver, really- hair. I think she's one of the taoists.
'Aw, dude.' Brad points her out, for some reason. 'It's Mononononobe, no fluffy hair…' Whah.
...Pausing, she looks over at us, since we're staring at her.
'Call her tower hat tubby.' Tower hat tubby? Oh- he means her… tower hat? Is- is that what it's called?
She looks over us for a moment, before stepping closer… "By what decree doth a yuki-onna walk these roads?"
"My decree." Genkan seems to like being discreet today.
...Sort of nodding, the girl turns away. "Yes. How curious-"
"Your tower hat…" I interrupt her. "It's tu- tubby."
...I've made her look even more tired…!
'Yes, du~de!' Oh, geez…
"Mine eyes are cast to thee both." She- um, what. "Do not think thy presence in the village common hath gone unnoticed."
'Tell her Troll Arc Inc's rollin' deep, dude!' You made just about as much sense as she did.
Fwiosh! 'Oh shit! She's an Ichirin!' Whah!?
A new girl, in blue and gold monk robes stands before us. "Oh, no~! What've you done to it…!?"
Crouching down, she accepts the dirty, juice and dust-imbued fluff from the floor, and holds it up. "...Yo- you've been torturing it!"
It wiggles in her hands a little. "im laid out"
Fwiosh! The silver-haired girl switches back in for her. "Le- let go of it…!" She tosses the fluffle to the wind… "It's filthy!"
Fwiosh! Ichirin- according to Brad- switches back in for her. "It wouldn't be after- y'know, whatever…" She folds her arms. "Let's not let it get in the way of the energy we've got going here. Wha- what do you mean, 'speak for thyself'...!?"
'We've literally just been standing here and not contributing to any of this shit that's happening to us!' Brad points out how we just keep getting heckled for standing here…
"What did you say, about watching us?" Genkan questioned her… "Why?"
...Ichirin looks lost.
Fwiosh! Tower hat girl switches in for her. Ichirin took the fluffle with her…
"Thou knowest why." She narrows her eyes at us… "Keep thyself clean, or I will clean thee on thy behalf."
'Tell her she's cute.' Brad…? 'Tell her you're bonkers in love with her!' Oh, god.
...I take a deep breath.
Genkan frowns at her. "Everyone's been exceptionally rude to us, today. Why is that?"
Fluffy hair smiled at her. "Ah. I wonder..." Wow.
...Silence. Well… here goes.
"I- I think…" I'm-... I'm doing something wrong. "You're cute."
...She just looks over at me, and becomes concerned. "Oh? Thank you." Huh. That went better than I expected. "As art thou." Ooo.
"I- I…" I can't do it. I'm not gonna say I'm in love with her. "I love yo~u!" I lied.
…I'm bad. That was dumb.
"...Well." Smiling harder, she looks down at her pale hands. "I... guess one could call me charming. I-"
Raising her brows, she begins to back off…! "Well! I~... believe I'll leave thee upon that." We've weirded her out...
...As she trots off, Genkan also gives me a concerned look!
"Br- Brad suggested it." I return a grin back at her. I'm also burning on the inside...
'Oof…!' He feels my pain. That was terrible.
"I'd hoped so." She begins to look away. "Perhaps we should get moving, before something worse comes for us." At this rate...
"Yeah." I nod at her, and make it clear. We should start looking, because so far we've just got mugged, had steak, and then had dessert. It's been nice, aside from watching Brad probably break his arm, but it hasn't been very productive…! I'd also like to forget this exchange ever happened, but that should be easy soon enough...
"You know…" I look over at 'Small Packages', then back at her. "Maybe she's already inside."
"I think she's dead." Genkan contributes. Oh, no!
"Let's… assume she's not." I don't wanna know what happens when your dream self goes poof. Do you stop dreaming? I- uh, let's not think about it…
'Dude, when you die in the dream, you die in real life.' I don't wanna think about it…!
I approach the bar place. Do… I gotta talk to the guys in front?
"A~re… you still the~re!?" Their voices are echoey, 'cause the helmets on their heads literally cover everything. They… they can't see.
"Who~!?" The other guy's yelling too, and turning in circles.
I don't… think I've gotta talk to them. Let's hurry in.
I accelerate inside, my pace quickening the closer I get to having to pass them…
I'm in…! Genkan mellowly trails behind me-
"Ahn- nh- mgh…"
To my left, there's a boy at a table, and-... u~m! Uu~m!
Genkan covers my eyes. "Wha- what in hell."
'Holy shit!' There was- they're playing with him! Did they turn it into a- a nudie bar!? 'It's a rape zone! Keep me outta it!' Maybe my dream self really is dead…!
Some girls spared me a glance, but just looked away. Some leered up at Genkan, but otherwise didn't care. I can't tell anymore, because she's covering my eyes...
"This-... has become a bad place." Genkan's voice is desolate. "I- I think we should go. And- no, I don't see Maria in here." Phew. Well-... that just means she's either dead and buried, or not here yet.
We begin to quickly backtrack out the way we came. I- I think with the way Genkan's goading me- yeah, I'm just walking backwards…
"Aww~. Where you goin', loves?" Someone tries to ta~lk to u~s…!
"No." Genkan's reply is blunt.
"Hold o~n!" Is- is someone coming after us…!?
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We're back outside. It's a little less blindingly sunny, now.
"What's got the two of you in a rush?"
This small girl- about as tall as me, if not a little less- comes up to us, smiling a wide, sort of cynical smile. "You late to the party? Or…" Her head tilted forward. Her eyes are red. "Are you humans?"
'Cast Scent Pillow on 'er, dude!' Brad- I, I don't know if I should be listening to your advice! Your last tip made me feel regret!
"I'm not." Genkan isn't very intimidated, but I am… "A human, that is."
The black-haired girl who confronted us brings a hand up. "We~ll, yuki-onna, human, same deal, really…"
"Scent Pillow!" I swing my staff down!
Splap. It-... lands, on her face. I wanna just, go find a corner, and hide. Brad's making me out to be a sexual deviant…!
'Hoh shit- you actually did it, again!' You- you mean you didn't think I was gonna bother…!?
...While it's resting there, the black-haired, petite girl brings her hands up to it, and presses them into the soaked fabric…
Shh~uuhk. What's… what's that noise. That's weird. Stop.
"Fwa~h…" She removes the pillow from her face, and- wait, was she- "My~... what a distinct scent. Inexperienced and eager. How d'you know it, by the way…?" Did- did she suck on it or something. What. "Scent Pillow, that is. The spell…"
...In the ensuing silence, Genkan shakes her head at her. "You are a sexual predator."
Sneering over at her, the girl tilts her head back leisurely. "I'm sure a yuki-onna'd know. An', s'not like I just go around pickin' off boys… anymore. Fufufu!"
...Looking down at the pillow again, she smiles up at me with her full, red eyes. "Where I come from, this would be a marriage proposal, you know…"Oh, no…
"I somehow doubt that." ...Ye- yeah, Genkan's right about that, isn't she. "Move along, please."
"Why should I?" She licks her lips, and runs a black-nailed finger across where her tongue traveled. "This girl here's simply delectable."
"We will hurt you." Genkan- don't be that blunt about it…! Nnn~.
...The girl doesn't seem to mind, though. But- she trots towards me, and…
"Not like I can... fuck around too much, here." More sedately, she holds out something for me, which she slipped from her kimono. "Here. This was originally some kinda talent… rubbish, or something. Since your magic bears potential… if you ever consider giving up your life here, and want to live, tell them you wish to see Lady Suzuka." ...Who- who's them. What's, uhm…
Genkan seems to de-tense herself, having gone into alert from how close she got to me to hand me this… pamphlet.
'Come Join the Sabbath!' It says. It has pictures of cute girls on a water slide. 'It's Fun and Games and Rape!' Wait-... I didn't read that wrong!
'What's it say, yo.' Brad can't read it. This is a good thing.
"See you later, honey." Giving me a smile and a nod, she began to saunter away. "My futon's always wa~rm." No.
...Still, once she's gone, I focus on the pamphlet. The second front-ish face has this cute image of a witch girl, sitting on a broom. It's… kind of perverted too, because her butt and thighs show and she's winking at me. She should have a skirt on…!
Genkan's now over my shoulder. "This looks like trouble."
"Yeah." I wanna be a magic girl and all, but… I don't wanna be a hooker magic girl. That's kinda scary, and sort of… wrong. Weird, rather. I feel like it'd also just… take away a lot of me, somehow.
I also don't know what a Sabbath is. I don't think I'd like to find out…
'It's a Monster Girl Quest ad, dude!' Brad doesn't know the gravity of what he's looking at… 'Turn the page!'
So I do, and- oh. Oh…
Genkan covers my eyes. "Oh- jeez. How… improper."
"Y'know- I've read dirty books once or-" ...Act- actually, I- let's not admit that! I- I almost blurted-
"Even so." Genkan doesn't get as hung up on that as I thought, actually. "...This, this is something. Do you think this could be… some sort of sex ring?"
"If I could see, I could tell you." All I see is black. "The answer's probably 'yes'..."
...I'm sort of curious if like, anyone else feels like this. Not- not specifically the sex ring thing- I mean… feeling embarrassed about something you wouldn't be when alone. I guess that's still a little vague. I mean, something you think you wouldn't normally feel embarrassed about at all, but when you're with someone you know, it's just… unexpectedly weird.
Genkan lets go of my eyes, and this is exactly that. What is going on.
...Yeah, it's- it's literally porn. From behind, girls swarming a- a boy, tentacle things, just… it's- it's porn.
'Wow. Hentai!' I- I'm not a pervert…!? Look- you're one to talk…!
"...It- it's a little more like a cult." I, uh, consider… more to distract myself from all of this. Let's read the text…
"There's a difference…?" Genka~n. I mean, technically yeah…
'Sexual Pleasures beyond your wildest dreams. Come to the Paradise Outpost in the Shore, Castle and Outlands regions to get started'. Wh- where are these regions. It has pictures, but… one's of an ocean, one's a castle I've never seen before, and one's of… some dark mountains. Okay…? Wait…
'Not in Makai? Basic transportation rituals included on the back!' Ma- Makai? The-... the demon realm? Oh god.
There's magic imbued into the pamphlet too; I can feel it. It's potent, but… weird. It wants to be channeled into. Let's read everything to make sure it's not the transportation ritual…
"Are you… actually reading it?" Genkan sounds like she's disbelieving. "...Are yo~u… hmm."
"I- I'm reading it for the information…!" Oh my go~d…! Everything wants to make me out to be a freaky person…! I mean- I guess I deserve it, tossing pillows with my juice in them at people, but still!
'Yeah- okay, yo, okay.' Brad, no! Nn~gh.
Half of this is how to perform sex positions, which I skip because no. I also don't wanna know about the sensual pleasures of this or that or whatever…
On the other page is some stuff with sigils. Oh, this is how to draw the teleporter. That's… hmm. It teleports you somewhere specific it looks like, because you've gotta use like… the paper from this pamphlet as incense, and the circle itself is just entirely superficial.
'Aw. Company logos, dude.' N- no. That's… no. You're illiterate…!
Well. There's actually nothing about this magical signature. The incense quality's not it either, since that's just one page, and ironically enough, that page is enchanted different from the entire rest of the pamphlet. It's intentional, alright.
"If you… would like a moment, we could find somewhere." Genkan- what are you saying. No~!
"Do- do I like, look…" My rosy cheeks better deliver the message, because I can't.
"I'm not saying that." Genkan looks away, before meeting my gaze again. "It's just… if you need privacy, we won't mind." Genka~n! No~!
...Alright, I've found my resolve. "I'm not horny." Let's unravel the mysteries of this thing before it unravels me…
"If you… say so." You're unbelievable, Genkan…
Alright! Let's-... let's work!
This magic channel, what's it do. My mind's already half-baked from shame and regret from today's stuff, so I'm not really patient enough to look over what the channeling's gonna do in detail. Hopefully my clothes don't explode or something, or I'm gonna go insane.
So I put my mana into it. It all centralizes in one place, along the bottom of the pamphlet-card hybrid thing, and forms a sort of… disc.
Um. What's… that noise.
Click. Oh. It's gone, and my mana's been ejected. What the heck.
I try channeling again, this time with vigor, and… hmm. That disc's not taking it, but it can be taken somewhere new. On one of the earlier pages, it gets allowed into a large, hollow ring-like shape…
click… click… click. These sounds make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.
...A pulse came from the bottom, around the last disc I filled. It wants mana, too, again.
Channeling to both is… kind of weird, but not too difficult. Keeping the ring intact is sort of strange, but the disc is easy to fill. It only takes me ten-twenty seconds to stabilize both, and keep the mana firmly in either. A wrong breeze or jerk of my hands could ruin it, though…
Vuu~m.
The disc and ring light up bright pink, and eject my mana! And- um-
'Hello~!' A voice…!?
'Oh, shit! Japanese sounds!' I hear Brad, too.
It- it's using its mana on me. You- could just do that…!? I'm being mentally assaulted by a postcard! 'If you're hearing this… congra~ts! You passed the magic test!' The what. Also- would it be mentally invaded by a postcard, or assaulted?
'There ain't enough room in this Maria fer the two of us, noo~b…' If Brad could actually do something about this, I'd be pleasantly surprised. 'Start speaking sense…!'
'Your instructor will tell you what to do, now.' Um. Who. '...If the recording hasn't stopped by now, then we want you to bring this card down here! And- oh, where is here…?' Is- is she talking to someone else mid-recording…? 'Right! Here is… Shore Paradise Outpost! That's where this card takes ya, actually. If you couldn't tell from the uh, slide on the front. Cute thing!'
'I hear dorks, but I can't see~ dorks!' Brad- shut up…! I'm trying to hear her, um, pointless rambling…
'Also~, here's yer incentive bonus…' My whah.
...The mana stops for a moment, and-
My vision blurs, and I close my eyes.
It's like a wash; a disorienting pulse of something lucid and weird and pink rolling through my eyes, then me. If- if I opened my eyes, I feel like I'd collapse or something…
It was like… a spiny, pink wave of water, if a crystal, fragmented surface could be water. This ragged imagery makes me think that… if I open my eyes right now, I'd cut a lot of things.
"Ma- a- ay?" Genkan says something, but I only get pieces of it.
'Woah, shit!' Why can I hear Brad just fine, though!?
...The feeling over my body comes back, and I feel Genkan keeping me from tumbling onto the floor.
'Enjo~y. I'll let you figure it ou~t…' Screw you, postcard. This is the last time I trust a postcard…
The sensation's gone. I open my eyes.
"Maria! Are you okay?" Woah- he~y, Genkan…
"I- I think so." I seem to have dropped the card. My hands are both still here, and are still my hands. My clothes are still on, and my boobs are the same size they always were…
No tail. And, I don't… feel any different.
I stand properly, and Genkan lets me go. Instantly, I hold my staff ahead, and run through the magic available…
Fwish. Ice stuff…
Fwoof. Fire stuff…
zap- zap. Electric stuff.
Then, there's the lucid, pasty, blurry one representing Lucky Star and Scent Pillow. It's weird, but kinda cool. I wanna find out what it's supposed to represent, if not just dream stuff.
...There's one more. My staff has a static, non-lucid sort of pink hue at the tip of it. What's this…? It's very… very subtle. I can't imagine doing anything with it.
"We need a target." I declare. I look at Genkan…
"...Sure." She nods at my request, and holds her smooth hand out.
...Slowly and soundlessly, a cute little rounded ice blade materializes before us, grown from the soil gently and with care. It's basically a big nub.
The spell name should come to me, since this element's apparently been, um, forced into my brain. I jerk my staff up into the air. "Seduction!"
Fwash. The tip of my staff flashes.
...Nothing happens to the ice blade, because it is an ice blade.
"...Oh." Genkan's giving me the vainest stare.
'Oh shit, dude…' Brad's hyped about this… 'Aww~, yeah du~de! You could take over, dude!' Too hyped!
"I didn't ask for this." I tell Genkan, with perhaps more rue in my voice than I intended. "Ra- rather… it just kind of happened."
"...That seems to be a running theme, today." Genkan looks lost. "We should have bought sleeping pills. We could have evaded everything."
'I pro'lly coulda listened to my gut when not-you wasn't here!' You guys. If we didn't take this break, you both would've melted, I'm pretty sure. I've actually got it pretty good, just sitting back and letting you throw yourselves at everything. I didn't even have to move half the time, and I got food and ice cream.
"It wasn't all bad." I guess I'll be the voice of reason. "And… I'm sure I'll find a use for this magic, somehow." I'll be honest in saying… direct debuff-kinda things aren't really what interest me, but whatever works, I guess.
"You're right…" Genkan seems to begrudgingly give that to me. "Even so…"
...That's that, I guess.
"Let's go…" Genkan begins to softly drift ahead of me…
...While she's not looking, I crouch down and pick up the pamphlet. 'Aw- yo~!' Shush- shoosh, Brad.
I slide it into the bag, for safe keeping. 'Aw. Thanks, dude.' Wait- no!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We're in the town square. Not many people are here anymore, for some reason. It might be because of the incident going on…
"The square really cleared out…" Genkan surveyed how few people and vendors were left… "I suppose I would too, after the display from those gods. I hope we don't see them again." That's ironically ominous, but true. I wonder if seduction works on them. Actually- that might be a horrible idea, not only morally but also strategically…
"Yeah." Well, at least it gives us elbow room. "Where should we look…? If at all." I feel like waiting here's actually a really sensible bet, but… since we just spent half the day standing outside a bar, only to retreat instantly, it'd be a little awkward to suggest.
Genkan starts to float into the middle, looking around. "Hmm."
'Y'know…' Hi, Brad. 'I've never visited the taoist noobs before. Maybe they're there, dude.' He's getting off-track, again. But-... maybe we can find dream Brad like that. That's assuming they share the same method to their madness…
After Genkan floats in a neat little circle for a few moments, she pauses. "Wait…"
She points down the village's south main street. "Over there."
'Aw. Dude.' I look, and Brad calls out what we see before I do…
It's us. ...More specifically, it's our party plus Hana. I'm- not to be mean or anything, but I think we got the better deal here.
"Here we come." I cheekily make a statement about the situation…
This was easier than anticipated… but, why's dream Genkan with them? Where'd they get her.
'The gang's all here, dude.' For some reason, this feels really confrontational…
Then, all of a sudden, they're standing just across from us.
"Did, like, you guys seriously just sit here waiting for us…?" Dream Brad beams over at us, as he struts up. "Holy shit we're assholes!" He's got the Kaguya dress on, and the space helmet. Really- I don't get the combination, but okay.
...The dream versions of me and Genkan don't seem to have much to add to that at first, but then I- well, dream me- says something. "I told you at least one of you'd get us in our way…"
"It was probably me." Dream Genkan… just has a sort of sedate smile. "Though she had no way of knowing… she probably felt like she'd see me, here."
...Um- don't make that face, real Genkan. I wanna pretend she's bluffing. And- it was me who got us doing anything to begin with! These guys just wanted to go sleep and be perverted to one another.
Hana decides to add to this moment. "I get in my way a lot…" If there's one thing I never got, it's why Hana's so weirdly self-aware half of the time.
I meet my counterpart's gaze.
"Look- y'know…!" Dream Brad calls out to us again, walking forward a little 'cause he's rowdy like that. "I'm not about beatin' up my pals over here- but-"
"It's fine. Do it." Dream Genkan's really out for her own blood… "I wouldn't attack you, Brad."
"Teach her a lesson." Dream Maria smiles at me. "Go for me first. She'll understand." What. Oh, no you didn't- tell them that-
"No…" Their Genkan frowns over at them. "If they've planned like us, we take me out first." Oh? That's a tell if I've ever heard one... "When she's out of control-"
Brad blurts stuff out at them and bickers too. "Can we just beat up Brad…!? I really just wanna beat up Brad an' go home!" They can't really agree on anything right now.
I'm being silly. I thought Dream Maria said some self-hating puke to them, but I think they'd be more obvious about it, if they heard it. I'm leaving feeling sorry for myself behind.
"All of you!" While they seem to get ready, the real Genkan calls out to them. "Why are you so aggressive?"
...While her counterpart just kinda stares back at her with dull eyes, not-Brad responds first. "We already freakin' went over this! An' we came to a decision: you guys all suck!" Oh.
Only kind of offput, Genkan frowns over at me. "...Awfully rude of us." Pft...
Rousing her voice, Genkan yells out to them from across the clearing again. "What do you plan to do…!?"
...They kinda look amongst one another, before Brad responds again. "Ye- yeah, that's a good question! We're kinda- like, planning on figuring it out after we kick your asses!" They're about as forward-thinking as we are… which is not at all.
"Genkan." Whipping her gaze back to her, Maria… seems to like, command her. "Go." Uh oh.
Not-Brad holds his arms out.
...Behind him, Genkan brings up her own arms, while he sort of… 'Oh, fuck. He's T-posing to assert his dominance!'
T-posing, that's what he's doing. To um, what? Anyway- while he T-poses, not-Genkan looks like she's casting or something.
Cli- cli- cli- click. One at a time, his plant hangers slide from his bag. One by one, they're slid into his pink sleeves, and up his dress.
"Fufufu~!" Looking victorious, dream Genkan rises over him, her arms, hands and fingers splayed out to look as if she's pulling strings.
Fairy Harp and Market Gardener go to his left and right sleeves respectively, while Deep Blue and Youkai Inconveniencer float up under the dress. Genkan seems to be controlling them- her dream self, that is. The pale, teal-ish telekinesis on each one makes it obvious.
Million Bucks ends up going up the skirt, too. In the end, Brad himself draws Fallen Comrade and the… Bawmber…? I'm calling it Bomber, because that name makes me sad.
"Be~hold...!" Beaming greedily, Brad balanced on one leg as he used the other to try and click both gravity boots he had on beneath the dress at once-
Cli- click. Genkan clicks them for him anyway.
"I~ have ascended, son!" As he rose, he spread his limbs. His helmet became impossible to see through, due to the sun's glare and the whirling, teal magic on the surface. "By their powers combined… I am Captain Plant Hanger!"
Oh, god.
"Charm!" The other Maria thrusts her staff into the air.
Di-ng, di~ng! The pulsing, yellow star forms in dream Genkan's form as she ascends above Brad himself, holding her arms out like a puppet master. She's leering down at us…
"You'll fight hard, Brad." With a big dumb grin, the dream Genkan hovers back down just a little, as if to marvel over their concept. "I'll make sure of it."
With his legs poised as if he were actually flying, not-Brad hovers towards us- and it's actually just a little intimidating, the way he's let go of his metal things and they're just kinda floating around him!
"Um…" After silently watching this just unfurl, the real Genkan gets closer to me. "I... think we should focus on me."
Whah? Oh… actually, yeah. She's right.
I don't think Brad can do anything if we take out his puppet master. I mean- she even went through the effort to look like she's pulling strings. They dropped a hint before they started, too...
'Yeah- I agree with that plan…!' Brad sounds like he's sizing them up… 'I got an idea too, and it doesn't require a like one minute setup time!' Oh…? 'This is freakin' wei~rd, dude…!'
Dream Brad slouches in the air, letting his body go limp.
'Ohp- cheesy shit- he's gonna spring at ya!' Oh?
His arms raise faster than he can normally control them-
Woosh! Then- then he whirls forward at us! Or, rather, the other Genkan uses her powers to thrust him forward.
KRI~NG! Genkan makes an ice blade in his way. "Maria, act now..."
Wait- what am I-
Fwiosh!
==== BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Fwiosh! Alright- I've got… the good plan, dude! Hopefully I can borrow any of Maria's skills!
'Um…!?' While she fidgets inside of me dude, I begin to run out from around the pillar-
Aa~h- Dream Brad rounds it! "Alright, son!" He seems to let go of his hangers outright- oh shit they're flyin' for me!
I thrust Fairy Harp from my bag for no reason, and into the air! The spell I'm lookin' for pops to the forefront of my mind- this weird ass knowledge of some psychological fuckery just… there. "Sed- Seduction!"
Fwash! Light flares from my hanger!
At the same time- one of Brad's glowin', violent-ass hangers spins for my chest-
Thu- Bam! Bam! Bam! Aaagh- shit! It- it fuckin' exploded… it was that hanger…
It hit me- what, three times? I- I don't know.
Boom! Fuck.Wh- while I slide on my ass away, the hanger just falls down and blows up again, and… yeah.
'Are you okay!?' No. Is- is my eye good…? One of my eyes is winced shut 'cause dirt. I'm pretty sure there was an awesome flare of ice magic from the thing too, but I'm too busy being fucked up to care.
But not-Brad doubles back! "Oh- crap- Genkan pull me away!" He thinks I've tried seducing him. Haha, haha! I've got the strategic advantage, son!
…'Cause I'm not.
Above, dream Genkan let her arms drop…
"Oh- woah shit…!" Pft- oh…! Not-Brad just goes spinning away! "Genka~n! Yo~!"
"Ha- haha~! 4D chess~, son!" I yell back up at 'em as he glides off! He thought I was the one, who did not know… yet, little did he know, that he was the one-
Now dream Genkan's descending, coming straight for me. Uh. Uh oh…
Actual Genkan gets in the way! "What have you done…" I did the good strat, dude!
They come to a standstill with one another.
"Yield." The other Genkan billows with frosty fury… "I will be satiated." Uh…
Then, they rush one another!
Pa- pap! "Nnh…" Awkwardly, Genkan and Genkan collide in the air, the real one trying to grab onto her other self! "Let- let go! You always- get in the way…!" Suddenly, dream Genkan's a lot less composed…!
"Calm- calm down!" Aw. She's hugging it out with herself, dude. Since they're literally the same unit, they're going to never stop hugging! That just leaves me against… me. And Maria. Except I've got Maria inside me, so I'm… Maria and me! Jesus, this shit's confusing!
Now that their gimmick is outta the freakin' way, we can get down to business…!
I make my way around the ice blade of doom, and leer at 'em…! "Yo, yo, yo. What's in the know, dude…"
Ha-chan's also behind Brad and company, but she just looks really disoriented. That can change whenever, probably…!
Cli- click. Now that he's down his bomb hanger, Brad turns off his gravity boots wit' his fingers-
"Oof…" -and lands on his ass!
...Gettin' back up onto his legs, he points the big chunky Fallen Comrade at me! "That's- fucking bullshit! What'd you freakin' do!? How!? Seduction!?"
"Yeah, dude. Bibbity bobbity boo, son!" We unlocked the cheese strat while you were lookin' up cheat codes! "Get ow~ned!"
Cla- clack, clack! As he stands, plant hangers fall from his dress...!
...Eying the dress hangers like they were something weird, Maria walks up alongside him, her staff ready… an' then she tells me: "Don't make me hurt you." Help, no. Y'know- my debuffs would work really well on these guys…! We're squishy and weak to 'em!
Brad holds up Fallen Comrade, and- it glows?
Fwi- click. His clothing an' weaponry flashes for a moment, and then he's in an entirely different outfit! He's got… the camou-kimono on, and the nazi cap. Also, now he's only holding Deep Blue.
...I look down, having already taken the Red Scare out to debuff him. But, water gets rid 'a berserk…! It'd be a neat idea if I couldn't also give him AIDS, in addition to the angriness.
Still, I gotta ask. "Where'd ya learn that…?" Instant-ish equip switching sounds like actual fuckin' magic…!
"Fuck you." Shit!
...I've also got Fairy Harp out in my other arm. Let's start aggressively!
Pap- pap- pap- pap! Aiming Red Scare forward at 'em- I just start firin' son!
"Blizzara!" Oh shit- Maria knows magic that's right, dude-
"Da- damn it…!" Brad can't dodge the NERF darts for shit, just fallin' over in an attempt to, but three pegged 'em good anyway!
Sprtz~! Deep Blue soaks 'em 'cause he turned the faucet! And- I'm out of time- Maria's spell is here-
FWA~SH! Oww~! Holy fuck! Wow! Maria's tier two- it- it hurts! I'm fucking frosty…!
In summary: big ass ice crystals, of clunky frosty explodey doom, smashin' into my face, and at the moment I have no ice resistance. Only dark and instant death…! Not super helpful in this fight!
thud. "Nn- nn…" Shivering like a motherfucker, I land on my ass… again. After like, a second of slowly falling too. Je- Jesus...
"Ma- Maria- help me… Ge- Genkan..." Dream Brad's whinin' it out over there, lying on the ground with his shit destroyed…!
Oh shit- here comes Maria! Instead 'a helpin' him, she's gonna just fuck up me!
'Say something stupid!' Oh shit!
"Ma- Maria!" I point at her! Dude- my teeth chatter- "I- I re- really li- like your pan- ti- ties…!"
...I don't think she even understood me, 'cause she just furrowed her brows. Tryin' to get away, I spread my limbs back to try an' crawl...
Vuu~m. Oo- oh, yeah. Seikatsu's healing beam trails to me, too…!
Fwiosh!
==== MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Fwiosh! Brad was pretty much decommissioned by one spell. Thankfully, he crippled himself- his other himself- on the way out, so…
Dream Maria glowers at me, as I quickly get onto my legs. "Switch back."
"...You're stupid!" I'm out of things to say to her at this point, I just wanna beat her up. Arguing with myself is not working out…!
"Blizzara!" I'm- I'm wearing ice clothing. Oh, god. She lugs her staff over her head, before tossing it down like a hammer-
Fwa~sh! Here come the chunks. I shut my eyes and charge through-
FWA~SH! Ugh. Ev- even with seventy percent resistance- I- my cheeks feel like they're going to burn off…
"Sce- Scent Pillow!" I thrust my staff into the air! I feel the mana leave me, and...
Splap. The pillow meets not-me's face. To be honest... you deserved it.
"Ugh- nhk…" She seems to scramble to get it off. "Kauf- kugh- kaugh! Wh- whah-"
"Lucky Star!" Neon yellow energy pulsing from the tip of my staff, I jump and thrust it up again!
Ding…! The hollow, yellow star beams to life above me, before spiralling down. My other self only looks up midway through, disgusted and in vain.
DINK! The impact is hard against her, the star clipping her left side hard, making her jolt and spasm her limbs within one second. Ultimately, it outright bowls her over. "Uhh- huu~..."
Thud. Landing on the ground, she looks back up at me as I stomp up over her. "Da- damn it… damn yo- you..."
Wow. She's... "Calm down." I kneel down before her. "Um- look!"
...She gives me an uneven glare, as I glare back down at her.
She's angry… and, at this point, she's reveling in it. Absorbed in… a sort of self-indulgent, automatic blur of anger and action. She's me if I never got tired of being... pissed off, basically. It's kind of scary.
And- a little frightened now too, which she probably actually likes here, since it's both familiar and makes her put more effort into things.
"It's- it's not all about what you want…!" Describing all these realizations is wordy but, it really only takes a couple fractions of a second. This is me against me. "It's not about getting things done, or just blowing through everything…"
Well. Despite everything, I'm not letting go of revenge as a possibility. It's more just impossible, since it's not like I have some arch-nemesis, or a cartoon supervillain to fight. Things are just… bad, in the village. If I wanted to tackle the problem, at all… I dunno how I could.
I see her glare up at me, her eyes teary. I… look more cute than intimidating, when I'm this frazzled.
While she's quiet, I continue. "I- I guess, making things better takes action." I'll have to give her this. We spent all of today literally doing nothing, but it's not like we know where to start. We have to live a little and get our bearings. This is the first time I've ever really began… examining the village. And- my friends are new to it outright.
"But- it also takes mind, and it takes strategy, and tact." Even I can see that. And- I'm pretty sure she can too… 'cause she just used ice on someone nearly immune to it like an idiot, and got punished super hard.
I've got her pinned down like I always do.
…
Dream Maria closes her eyes. "I- I… I just wanted… I just wanted things. I just wanted to… take back what's been taken from me. From us." ...She's referring to the thing she said to me last time. "Guess it's back to waiting..." She's never gonna be done. There's no true coming to terms with this sort of thing, I guess.
"Yeah." ...I have no idea what to do with her, now.
A- um. Something taps the side of my head…
...I- I turn, and dream Brad's standing there, pointing Fairy Harp at my head, the metal against my hair. "Hi, son."
Um. "...H- hi."
He's got a panacea in his right arm, and Hana's behind him, her hands to her mouth. Does she even know what's going on… did- did she feed him that panacea?
Talk about irony. The least valued member in our party right now, was the only one to help Brad when he needed it. Considering how long she was with him before us, she's probably some kind of unsung hero...
...So we just kinda sit here. Brad doesn't look like he actually wants to engage me. "Get me out here." Yeah, he doesn't even. He reels Fairy Harp back as if to smash his head the moment we switch turns. "C'mon. Get me!" Everyone wants a piece of Brad instead of me, for some reason...
'Do it, yo. I'm ready!' Oh? Well, if you say so.
Fwiosh!
==== BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Fwiosh! Heyo-
Clunk! Haha~!
I stand up, 'cause I had my sun-elemental race car helmet on when he hit me, son! "You freakin' done it now son-"
Clink! Fairy Harp and Fairy Harp collide, dude. This is so freakin' stupid…! Maria and Maria had a like, heart to heart again, and we're here just hitting each other with plant hangers.
Meanwhile, Genkan and Genkan are still hugging it out, because not only are they literally totally resistant to one another, they're just as physically powerful as one another and like-minded…!
"What's your fuckin' problem…!?" Not-me yells at yes-me! "You should be workin' wit' us!"
"No~ son!" I shake my head- oh, fuck, we got our plant hangers stuck together. "We're not insa~ne in the memb- ooh!"
Freakin'- he just let go of his hanger and tried to punch me, but his arm thrust just awkwardly clipped me instead 'a doing anything actually hurtful!
"Son!" S'this what it's comin' to, son…!? Even though I'm attacking me, this rush of freakin' energy whenever assault-time happens will never cease to feel weird. S'this what… people who fight often experience a lot!?
Cli- click! After I drop the tangled mess of Fairy Harps, we reach into our bags-... hmm. He probably knows I'm gonna draw whatever… I think I'm gonna draw. So~...!
I draw Market Gardener, which is literally useless right now.
He has not drawn a hanger, but a disembodied table leg.
"...Y'know- I think I over-thought this." He admits…!
I reel back Market Gardener, and chuck it!
Thunk! Oh- fuck! I actually hit him- in the head!
"Fff~ aa~h!" He just falls back onto the ground, reachin' for his face!
"Yoho- are you okay…!?" Fuck, dude, I clobbered him…! There's- there're mana prizes everywhere now!
I- I just kinda walk towards 'em… "Oh- oh shit, you're bleeding…!" Lemme- lemme grab some mana prizes first, 'cause they're magical!
"You mother, fucker…!" He's not wrong this time- but not in the literal sense…! "Fff~... fuck!"
While I kinda loom over him to try and gauge how bad I accidentally fucked 'em up, Ha-chan comes! "Brad-kun! Are- are you okay…!?"Ha-chan, why are you actin' potion mule…!?
"...Ooo!" She starts picking up some of the mana prize bubbles too!
"Sth- stop grabbin' prizes!" He's annoyed at how retarded we all are!
Turnin' to Ha-chan 'cause of her question, I uh… "Yes- I mean… yes!" I was gonna make a joke about it technically bein' no, bu~t…!
...She blinks, 'cause one of me's hurt, and one of me's not! "Alright- I'm confused…" Good, dude.
Let's have a heart-to-heart like Maria had! "Look- I know I hurt'cha bad son, but-" While I hunch over 'em, he grabs my leg and tries to claw it…! "Look- I'm sorry, son! Du~de."
"Go- god… dammit…" Oo- oo- oo, dude. Someone's gotta mind their P's and Q's.
"Calm your hormones, son." There's not a lot I can do when yer actin' a bitch, dude!
...Aw, there we go. Now he's all pou~ty~. "You- you know how frustrating, this is?"
"S'the whole point, son." You are not supposed to go on a genocide crusade! Someone else exists for that purpose…! "Now- spit it out, dude. We're gonna heart-to-heart, and yer gonna like it."
"Bi- bitch…" That was not Brad, but one of the two Genkans. I take a look back, and u~h.
Their kimonos half-off, they seem to be poking and prodding one another in weird places. By that, I mean one of them's trying to choke the other while one gropes back. I don't kno~w, dude. I don't know how yuki-chicks work!
Brad barks up at me while I look away! "I've got nothing to say-... to a fuckin' stubborn ass like- like you!" Wow, I am detrimental to my mental well-being, dude!
Grinnin' back down at 'em, I hold my arms out! "Freakin'- if we don't talk, we keep hittin' each other with hangers until the sun sets. I dunno about you, but that's already kinda-... kinda exhausted!"
...Well, he sees the reason, at least! 'Cause he stopped whinin'.
'I wanna know, if um, if he said anything to me…' Oh frik, Maria's droppin' requests too. We'll get there, yo, we'll get there…!
...After a moment of just glarin' at me while I glare-grin at 'em, he speaks. "I- we- I could explode shit if I wanted…" Wh- whah. Way to change the subject, I guess…!? Look at this little noob, dude.
An' freakin'...! "How. Are you Mojo Jojo…!?"
He furrows his brows. "Does the village make TNT…?"
"I- huh. I dunno." I've honestly got no idea. Why'd I ask myself…!?
Lettin' himself relax on the dirt, he keeps goin'. "You could be doing more…" Man, clone people are really hyper aren't they. And needy…! "You could fuckin' change everything."
"But why, though…" I fold my arms, actin' smug back at him, dude. "Why? Why would you do any of that…?"
"To show the fucks in charge 'a shit… they ain't hot shit! An' show people ya can just- fuck everything up! 'Oh- this is the way things hafta be', bullshi~t!" ...If he gets anymore rowdy, I'm afraid he's gonna rez himself or some shit!
"If I can afford to buy- to… grind yen, an' buy two hundred sticks of TNT, the people in charge 'a the shit goin' down here at the village can smash their goddamn skulls together-... for two seconds ta make shit- that ain't horseshit! An'- an' not just the village, either! But- I won't say none 'a that… na~h- no one wants ta hear any 'a that shit. Can't even get square one right..."
I just kinda let 'em talk, 'cause that's what I woulda wanted. I don't imagine it's particularly comfortable tryin'a rant and spout your political positions while belly-up in the freakin' dirt…!
"Didja actually find the TNT in like one day…!?" I wanna know if he actually grinded for it! 'Cause if he did, he's some kinda fuckin' demon!
"I- I asked ya... if the village had it, fer a reason." He lets his eyes roll up in annoyance! "Freakin'- why would I ask ya, if I didn't- if I did have it…!?"
Good question! Oof.
Oh, shit, he's trying to get back up. Lemme just-
"Nnh…" I press my grav boot into his chest…! "Will- you fucking…!?"
"No~, son." I'm not gonna. "Yer gonna stay there…!"
...Lettin' himself relax, 'n' chillax, he returns to lying on the ground normally. "Fu~h, fine." Yeah, son. Fu~h. "So what're you gonna do, now…? Sit on me all day?"
Aw. Buy a book and sit on 'em, dude. Except all the books are in Japanese, so…!
"Ye- no. I dunno." I agree that the village suits should be getting off their asses! I also agree that that's like, something we could probably half-negotiate 'er somethin'. What I don't agree upon is using two hundred sticks of TNT to get there…! "Maybe we should take a moment before buyin' dynamite, son…!"
"Yeah, of course." He stares up at the sky. "...Fuck." Oof.
"Like- one step at a time, son!" I tell 'em straight! "This ain't a freakin'..." Cartoon! Fanfiction? Anime…? Daa~h. "S'not so simple!" Let's just go wit' that…!"
"Y'think I don't know that…!?" Oh frik. "I guess- the point is, you've gotta get more aggressive."
"Nn~no." We're back where we started! "I don't wanna become a nightmare, son!"
"...Why not…!?" Now he's lookin' like I'm fookin' stoopid! "Who cares!?"
"...Me. I do!" I~ don't know about him, dude, but I like being fluffy and gradual. "I also don't quite care about the same things you do…" This boy's got shit ta prove… but I don't! "'Cause, y'know. Dream versus real differences!" I gotta check the patch notes, dude.
...He's not got much else ta say at this point.
I step away from 'em, and u~h… let's see how our other boys're doin'. Girls, rather!
Um. Both Genkans are just staring at me, and Ha-chan's just kinda offput. Aw...
"Hi." I greet the friends casually. "Greetings, comrades!"
"We worked things out." Genkan-... one of the Genkans tells me? "Also, the seduction wore off."
"...I wish to hug both of you." I'll never get another opportunity!
The leftmost Genkan smiles at her counterpart. "Let's help him relax."
"Be quiet." She holds out an arm to stop herself… "This isn't the time or place, for that." So she's the real one! The one on the right!
"...Fine." Hoh. See- that- that was easy! They didn't have to yell each other's ears off, even!
Dream Maria walks up to us, holding a super pretzel. Uh. Did she just like, go get snacks while we were freakin'...
'You never asked my question.' I've already forgot what it was! Uu~gh, critical thinki~ng…!
Alright, son.
While dream boy wonder over here tries to get back up, I speak to 'em! "You! Dream Mariariaria- ah, you talk!? To her, I mean?"
"No." He shakes his head as he stands. "Not a single word. We've never spoken to one another."
...Uh. I look over at dream Maria to confirm, before remembering that he used the tone I use when I'm bein' sarcastic…!
"Maria." Dream Maria steps up to me… "Buy super pretzels." Wat.
'...Sure.' Y'know, that's actually not a bad idea…
"I was expecting that to be more dramatic…" Oh shit. Yukari…?
Nope! S'not the hag. It's actually Doremy! And- she didn't teleport in or anything, she just floated down from outta sight… like a ninja touhou, dude. "But, I guess I wouldn't expect anything else, from you three. You were fighting yourselves, after all."
"Explain this." Oh, shit. Both Genkan and Genkan talked at exactly the same time, and we got Genkan in stereo…!
They look at one another, bewildered!
"I think your times out here are also up." Doremy gave us all a big smile! "Hope you've had some time to pent."
Springing back to his feet, Brad holds up the Market Gardener I clunk'd 'em with! "Are- are you fuckin' kidding me…!? Guys-... yo, guys!" He starts lookin' around at the others…! "We ain't goin' back."
"Omf…" Not-Maria's too busy eating her super pretzel.
Left-most not-Genkan's just lookin' jaded…
...He actually ends up losin' steam! "Guys?"
"I'm content." Dream Genkan closes her eyes, and breathes. "... In the first place, I simply wanted to spend some time with you two. At this point, I've begun to grow attached."
...Real Genkan's just lookin' all like, 'did you hafta say that'...!
"I hate arguing with myself…" Dream Maria shares her sentiments, kinda…! "'Cause I always win. I wanna just… nnn~." Aw. She's snuggleable and frustrated, dude.
I look over at the otha' Brad. "Looks like you're the only one who's got the drive, son."
After I make my asshole remark, he turns to me. I drive the point home! "The asshole drive."
Suddenly, he looks tired, too. "S'always what it comes down to, huh…" Is it…? I don't really think so! "Too little time. Too little drive, just-... fuck!" Why am I so angry dude!?
"...Don't be sad." I'm out of ideas dude, I've just got an eternal burning rage inside me, apparently…! "Don't be ma~d. Be glad…! Like my friend Brad!" I smile, and point to myself!
Slouching, he grits his teeth. His stare is just super vain.
"Oo~h, you're very mad…!" I'm definitely not helping…! "You're fucking infuriated…!"
"Freaki~n'..." Ohp- oh, shit, he's smiling…!
Ha-chan gets on in between us, and smiles too… "Hi." Hi.
Idea. "Dude. I've got an idea." It's the best idea, too.
"No." Brad shakes his head…!
"We both hug Ha-chan… an' then Genkan hugs us…!" Dude! We could make a-... a five person sandwich!
"...Ooo~!" Even Ha-chan knows how good of an idea this is!
"I don't mean to rain on your parade…" Makin' herself known again, Doremy speaks over us! "They've got to go back."
"No they don't!" I shake my head! "We ain't lettin' ya!"
"Yo ho ho!" Brad beams, and takes my side! "Hell yeah, son!"
Gingerly, she shakes her head… "Sorry~. You know… if they're left out too long, they won't be able to go back."
...Oh, shit. "Whah." I whah at her.
"Oh?" Both Genkans freakin' project themselves again, with similar results to last time…!
"Ah…?" Dream Maria makes her Maria noises. The Maria in my head's been awfully quiet! So-
Fwiosh!
==== MARIA YAMADA'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Fwiosh! Wh- ah! Why…!?
'I should get this racecar helmet off…' I guess that's one reason, but…
Aah. It's nice and bright out here, compared to the dream world. I don't know who's out here, floating before us, but apparently everyone except for me knows who she is. She's probably related to the dream world in some way; either 'cause of those weird clothes and the sleeping cap, or because she's speaking like an authority on the subject…
"Oh, yeah…" The blue-haired woman leaned back. "You'll still be able to switch and partner and stuff. This isn't all over yet. But, I'm just here to make sure things go smoothly enough, while the~... monkey wrench gets dealt with."
"But- what about not goin' back's bad…!?" Dream Brad holds out his arms, approaching her. "The world needs two of me, dude!"
...The blue-haired woman just curls her mouth, cringing a little as she smiles. "Ah, no. No, I don't think so."
"I, um…" Now Dream Genkan's approaching her…! "Nevermind." Or not?
"It's the cuddling idea, isn't it." The girl makes a sort of perverted assumption. "I guess I'll treat you five to that idea, anyway. Tonight." Um…!?
...Dream Genkan looks too appealed for my mental image of her.
Also, for real Genkan's mental image. Her cheeks have a cute cyan blush to them… "You're insufferable."
"I know." Dream Genkan smiles back at her.
With that, the red-hatted blunette girl clapped her hands together-
FWIOSH! O- oh, woah…!?
...Now Brad's standing before me, and Brad's beside him. We've been separated!
"Say your goodbyes, for no~w!" The girl gets ready to clap one more time…
...This is kind of abrupt, but I guess the whole situation's pretty abrupt. And, weird. It's almost like a dream. The way the sun hurts my eyes reminds me it's not.
"Hoh, shit!" Brad turns to himself, now free of the ugly yellow racecar helmet. "I'm free, dude…."
Our goodbyes, huh.
I step up to myself. Maria hands me her half-finished super pretzel. "Stop being so weak. Get used to hurting."
I grin back at her… "Um. No. Thanks for the pretzel." That's all I'm gonna need from her…
Even though it might be unsanitary, I take a big bite out of it. ...It doesn't taste any different, I think. She's me.
"Even if ya might be fookin' stoopid…" Camouflage Brad leans into suited Brad… "Y'make a good enough other, son."
"Aw. Ho ho…!" Brad himself doesn't know what to say to that. "I'm glad there's not a war being waged inside me, all the time…!"
...Genkan picks at her other's face a little. "You got some dirt, here…"
The real Genkan shies away from her touch, but only a little. Then, the dream version continues. "You should relax, too."
"Mrrm…" Genkan starts to retreat more. "I suppose this has been enlightening. It was… something, seeing you."
Now that we're all near one another-
CLAP! The dream woman slaps her hands together.
FWA~SH…!
Oh- oh, my go~d… wha~t is...
A- A blue, blinding light overtook my vision, my two forms seemingly becoming distant and different from the ground and our surroundings… it- it's like I can see from both of me at once- and…
My- my head hurts. It- it's like- aaa- aa~h!
Fwish. O- oh. I'm… back on the ground. It felt like I was floating up, for some reason. It was hard to tell, because it also felt like my head was getting smashed apart.
"O~h, shit…" Brad's getting back up off the ground. "I got brutalized, dude…"
"We're finding somewhere to nap." Genkan declares with vigor. "I've had enough of today."
"And, I almost forgot…" The smug dream woman brings up a smooth hand and snaps her fingers.
Click!
==== BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Ooo~! I almost fell over, again…! Freakin' recursions, dude…
"That seems to be everything." Doremy lands on her legs! "...Again, you can still pair up for the next few days, maybe, while everything gets re-ordered. With any luck, they won't break out again this time."
With any luck, huh, yo. That was a freakin' ordeal, so I hope not…! Another me's only fun if they're not an asshole.
"Who are you…?" Maria asks her for her name, 'cause she apparently never got it!
"...I'm Doremy." She smiles down at Maria, and looks really snug 'n' smug, all of a sudden. "Doremy Sweet!"
"Sweet…?" Maria's mentally staggered by the name! "Um…"
"Would you like to buy a pillow?" Oh, shit! Doremy's hustlin' her, dude!
"...No." Maria shook her head bluntly an' fluffily. "I can't even carry it."
We need to get Maria a step ladder. Not- not for her height, I mean, I saw this really old image of animeified NES Link carying a big backpack, with a step ladder on the back, and all his other crap just roped on. It'd be a fun parallel!
"...Oh well. Maybe some other time." With that, Doremy gave us a sagely nod, dude.
...While we stand here like a buncha freakin' noobs, I notice Reimu abruptly march by all of us! "That's stupid. This is stupid."
Doremy's following her…? "Come, come! Hearken, now… shrine maiden." She speaks to Reimu bluntly and in monotone, dude...
...Reimu just looks done, dude!
"Aw, yo!" I jog up to Reimu, 'cause she's fluffy! "Hello~, dude!"
"No." She shakes her head at me, and keeps going…!
"What, no." She defeated me, dude. "...Come back, friend."
It's too late, however. She's already stomped out of earshot, the Doremy tailing her…
"I've got myself running everywhere, for this incident." Doremy smiles at me, dude. "So, if you see me around, now and then… don't mind me. Think of me like you would a handyman."
"Handymen are scary, dude…" I try to catch 'er off guard verbally, but before I know it, she's just… gone. Handymen really are scary, dude…!
...While I stand idly, the friends congregate before me.
"Om…" Maria takes the last bite of her super pretzel. It's super.
"Brad," Genkan immediately asserts herself before me…! "We're going to find a bed and use it. Have you got any ideas, where we should go?"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
The sunset came quickly, dude.
Now that the night's nice and peaceful, I stop in front 'a the u~h… I think this is the right place.
"Here it is." Maria gestures up to the plain, stone building. Dudes got a place made 'a wood and stone, hoh shit…! "The village's Taoist temple."
...While we stop in the warmly lit but cold evening, Genkan smoothly, statically drifts up alongside us, looking mellow and snuggable. "...I was sort of wondering where you were taking us, among our known locales. Instead, you've gotten us lost again." Oh no…!
"...To be fair, you should've stopped him when he asked me about the temple." Maria argues for me, dude. "'Cause, um, he can't read. I even read it out to him..."
...Leaning to the side for a moment, Genkan tugs Ha-chan closer. "I've been distracted keeping our pet fairy from destroying herself. ...She's very keen on destroying herself."
"What- am not." Ha-chan sassed her back! "I just thought that grey stuff looked good. Like- it was funnel cake-y!"
"That was liquid cement." Genkan- when'd this happen…!? I musta freakin' missed it! "You were going to kill yourself."
Ha-chan folds her arms. "I don't think so…" I dunno about that, yo…!
"Let's go inside. Brad looks cold." Maria states! Uh, do I? Lemme tell you, this suit's pretty warm! An' so is Seikatsu's healing beam, but that's besides the point…
I still wanna know where my clone learned instant-switch! I wanna learn it too! That shit sounds broken, and that's good, dude! S'probably got a buncha drawbacks I don't know about…
Knock knock. I knock on the big front door of this place. S'like… it's like a freakin' real oriental place, dude. Surrounded by wood huts!
Shoo~f. Someone slides the door open, dude.
Aw. It's Mononobe no Fluff'n'stuff! "...Pftah." She don't look too happy to see us, dude… "Once again? Thou art a scourge." Oh, shit, dude! I'm a skorg dude…!
"I'm happy to see you, too." Genkan speaks back plainly…!
"Spare me thy visage." I think she just insulted my mother, or something. "On what cause accounts for thy arrival?"
"We are but humble meme merchants, yo." I lean in and explain it all to her, dude…! "We have nowhere to stay. If you leave us out in the cold, dude…"
I place a hand on Maria's shoulder. "I don't know, dude. It's a cold night, dude…!" Duhuhu~de!
"I'm going to freeze to death." Pft…! Maria just outright says it!
...Futo looks down at the snowflake design on Maria's shirt. "Cruel irony. Yes, well… I suppose this outpost of mine will serve as comfort, on this evening. Thou truly hast… no dwelling, so far? Winter is not a new concept."
Jesus, Futo's still kind of a bitch dude…! We musta interrupted her lewd novels or something.
"I'm just not, um… confident, about this evening." I like how Maria's just playing along with my shit at this point…! "Life is hard, for a um... " She looks back at me! "Meme peddler…?" Oh shit!
"What is a meme…" Genkan remarks under her breath- an' it almost makes me chuckle…!
"Meme peddling's hard!" I assure Futo! 'Cause, she don't look very assured…! "You ever peddle a meme before…!?"
"...I suppose I couldn't say so." What a noob, dude, what a noob. "Regardless, I was simply curious. Come, come."
Turnin' around, she keeps her hands in her sleeves as she escorts us on inside. "Close the door behind you. I'm sure you know how cold this evening will be."
Man, dude. We need to find a bloated fluff loaf, so we can rub it against her face.
Shoof. Once the four of us're inside, Genkan automagically closes the door for us…
Fli- flick. Seikatsu flickers, for a brief moment! "Oops…" Ha-chan is displaced, 'cause she bumped the robot.
"Despite this outpost's nature… it does have numerable room and board." Lookin' back at us as we look around the foyer, she gives us a smug smile and a nod. "Claim any that are open."
She points at Genkan! "Except thee. Thou may not claim thy own room."
...Genkan just kinda blinks back at her! "Excuse me…?"
"Youkai are not welcome here. And, accepting a yuki-onna for danger of a cold night is the most painful irony there is…!" She's pretty strict about shit over here, apparently! "If thou desired to share a room with one of thy comrades, however… I may allow such. They only have one bed, mind."
...Genkan seemed to relax at this. "Sure."
...Futo smiled wider! "I do not trust thee to rest with the child, either. Thou shalt rest with the man."
"Sure." Genkan is still unfazed!
"Wh-... okay." That's where Futo was bamboozled! "...There's no fault, with that?"
"No." Genkan bluntly shakes her head. "We're used to sleeping together." Woah, shit…!
"Pft- uh…" Futo's eyes widen! "... I… see." Then, she scowls at me, dude! "I knew thee deplorable, but… outsider." Doesn't she know my name? Or maybe she forgot. Or maybe I forgot I never told 'er…! "I offer a cautionary word. Youkai are not as they seem. It may be foolishness on mine part… but it seems more apt thou art simply too foolish to realize the gravity, of leaving thyself vulnerable to their kind."
...I nod at her words. "I like youkai boobs."
"...Ne- neanderthal." She instantly deflates…! "Neanderthal! So, thou dost recognize! And thy choice- it is ill-informed and toxic!" She's really fluffin' up, dude…!
"You're scaring us." Maria replies to her plainly… "You're scaring Hana-... ba. Hanamamba." She gestures to Ha-chan!
Ha-chan was looking down at her shoes. She looks up at Maria 'cause she was gestured to! "...My name's Hana."
"Dude- don't say such harsh things in front'a-..." Oh, shit, what was that gorilla's name again…? Rombo…!? Wait- no, it was Harambe…!
"St- stop laughing…!" Futo makes me stop chuckling at myself…! "Thy insanity is overwhelming thee…!"
"Don't say dirty words infront'a Harambe!" I gesture to Ha-chan, too! "You'll-... stunt 'er! She'll become a stunt double!"
Genkan brings her hands before her face…! "You've both ruined this…"
...Frowning at our mirth, Futo casts her arm to the right! "Take Harambe and board, youkai-lusting knave." Take Harambe and board!?
I'm gonna die, dude. I can't hold it in, dude…!
"I- I think you're scaring Brad, too…!" Maria keeps it goin'! We're livin' the dream, dude!
Shakin' her head, Futo turns away, dude. She don't get paid enough to put up with this shit, son. "I've ought to keep an eye upon outsiders, at this rate…"
"Pft- fff~..." I can't words, son.
"Co- come on…" Awkwardly, Genkan floats past us, towards the door Futo gestured to! "Before we spend all the hospitality in one place..."
Oo~h, shit, dude… holding it in is hella hard. Fuck, dude…
Oo~f!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
I couldn't even describe the lobby we were in! It was pretty tiny, though. Basically just, big front door, lead up to a desk, we got doors on either side, and then doors behind the desks, an' doors, doors, doors…
This hallway is rather tiny, too. Guess this place is just a taoist front, dude. A little part… of the bigger ma~n…!
"...I'm glad this place is religiously obligated to not easily displace us." Genkan looked back over us! "You've both completely annihilated our relationship with her."
"I don't think there was one, to begin with…" Maria's got the bravery to speak up, dude. "She's kinda mean."
"...I said that in a more observatory way." Clarifying herself, Genkan floats ahead a little… "I don't think there was a better worse way to do that."
Aw. Yeah, dude! That was like a TAS of what not to do when begging for sanctuary from a position of homelessness. Never forget, Harambe-eleven, dude.
"That was the best way to do it, dude." While we walk along with no sense of direction, I keep talkin'...! "It was the speedrun strat!"
"The... speedrun strat." She echoes… "I'm not sure what that means."
Aw. "...The actual context fer the term is super far out compared to technology here!"
"I still haven't figured out what a meme is yet, either." She sizes up my increasingly intimidated expression! "...Is it really that complicated?"
"Oo~h, it's a tall order, dude." How the fuck do you describe memes. And- without the internet too…! I guess it'd be like a viral- no, viral actually means viruses here. Even if that makes sense as a joke, only I'd get it…! S'more like… s'kinda like an in-joke that everyone ever gets.
"A meme…" I hold up a finger! "It's like an in-joke, except everyone gets it!"
"...But, then it's not 'in'. I'm not sure if it's a joke, either." Genkan's perplexed, dude. Then she grins! "You called us joke peddlers…?"
"Ye!" The good peddlers, dude. "Speedruns are like-... I'd hafta explain what video games are…!" That's a whole different world!
"...Video?" Oh god, Genkan doesn't know what videos are either. Oh shit…! "Is it related to something technological…?"
"Videos are like…" Woah. Maria knows what videos are, somehow…!? "Pictures that move."
...Genkan stares at her with vague bewilderment! "That sounds like strange magic." Wahaha!
"It actually ain't magic at all!" We should probably pick one of these doors before we round the whole freakin' 'temple'. "S'more like… somethin' takes a series of pictures, and the rate at which they're played gives the illusion of fluid movement. And, the rate they play's called, uh… frames per second." Janky explanation, but we'll get there! "Indicatin' how many pictures are being put into a single second 'a motion."
"Oh!" Hello~, Ha-chan! "Frames like- picture frames!" Holy shit, she has brain cells!
"Yeah, dude!" Y'can see her synapses firin' son!
"...And you just, know this?" Genkan's brows are raised! "It sounds intricate. The technology behind the concept itself, rather. Without magic, at that..."
Stoppin' before some door, I move ta see if it's open-
Click- click. Nope, just some wiggly-knob action. The best kinda action…
"Well basically, the outside's found a way to like, harness electric stuff without using magic to do it, and they use it to trick rocks into thinking, and handlin'... logical operators and stuff." Hoh, hoh!
"How do you use electricity without magic at all?" Maria sounds skeptical! "That's an oxymoron." Ho ho!
"...That has ta do with how energy works!" That's like… I could give a vague lecture on it! Kind of. "I don't really know how the charges are like, made at their most basic, but it seems to basically be converting movement stuff to different forms. Like, uu~h- take note how lightning can also fry stuff, and heat itself is energy in a way... beyond the whole magical definition 'a energy."
As it turns out, energy's a very particular thing! Now's sort of a weird time to think about it, 'cause I haven't thought about serious shit in a while, but meeting my internal burning rage helped get the gears movin'!
Maria's looking surprisingly sharp right now…! "Yeah, I know about the energy thing, but I didn't know you could just… make electricity with it."
"Also- you can make static electricity against rugs and fur and stuff, which is a whole different phenomena that I got like no freakin' clue how it works, but I do know it's makin' a charge… as the result of the energy from movin'!" I hold up my arms to make rubbing gestures wit' the hands…!
"...Well, yeah." Maria's not sure what ta think. "I'll have to see something, that works with only electricity; maybe like a, um... really basic device or something." We gotta find her a lightbulb so she can become Thomas Edison, dude.
...Genkan's lookin' over us with her brows raised! "...So, what was this about video games?"
Ho ho!
As we round the corner-
There's that bunny with earthy green hair an' an eyepatch, near the wall. To her left, Seiga Kaku's near the opposite end of the hall! Aw, dude!
Looking soft and cuddleable, Seiga floats into the wall behind herself. Goodbye, friend. Isn't she, like, the villain in some Touhou fics I read? I mean, she looks cute, but looks can be deceivin' here…
The rabbit almost seems to bow for a moment-
fvhir. Woah, shit! She just, like, backflipped-
Clack! Her boots meet the wall on the opposite hundred meters of hallway from us. Then, she continues to just jog down the hall, out of sight.
...No one has anything to say about that, dude.
"Today was weird." Suddenly all reflective, Ha-chan casts her gaze to the floor… "Dream people are super weird." Yer tellin' me…!
"I dread to imagine how they even acted." Genkan shook her head…! "I'm just going to pretend they did nothing until something comes up. It's more peaceful that way." Yeah, yo. Considering what we just did, we might not be much better…!
Let's check this room to the left…
Crea~k. The room opens!
Oh, yeah. Man it's small. This one's got two beds though, so Futo lied, dude. Or didn't know every room had random beds!
"Tiny~ beds…" Maria moved for the left bed, which was freakin' tiny.
While we progress inside, I keep goin'! "So- video games! S'like a video… but it's interactive, so you can play games wit' it!"
"...As easy as that is to visualize, it sounds even more impossible by non-magical means." Genkan moved for the rightmost bed… "Because, truly… the sheer complexity of doing so with… simple materials…" She seemed staggered just conceptualizing it! "I'm thinking of paper cut-out books, but as ordained by a… perhaps huge mechanical engine, with a small viewport, but many bells and whistles."
Smiling, she sits down on the bed, and looks up at me. "A machine with such a small… what would you call it?" She brought a hand towards her lips gradually… "Viewport is my only guess."
"Output?" I know the computer words!
"...That assumes there's input." Genkan shakes her head. "That would be even more improbable."
"Video games're interactive, though!" Man. This is like, me whenever I talked with anyone about what the future holds. She's like, visualizing a ghetto proto-computer, meanwhile I know what actual computers look and vaguely operate like!
...She blinks at me! "That's... how interactive?"
There has never been a better moment for this, I realize.
Reachin' into my bag, I draw my 3DS. Sitting down next to Genkan- and ignoring the boob nearest me- I cozie on up next ta her. "Lemme show ya how interactive…"
Click. I flip open the 3DS screen, an' turn it on. I got nowhere to charge it, but that's always a brief trip to Eientei or Sanae's place away. I've also got dream Brad's 3DS! Bet there's even a station in the village on the occasion Kaguya needs to play freakin' New Super Mario Bros 2 while, u~h… doing whatever it is she occasionally does out here. Gettin' dragged outta the house by me!
"...For some reason, I remember seeing this." She- huh. Might've come out in the great bag purge of some-odd chapters ago. "That doesn't mean I know what it is."
The power turns on! The 3DS logo comes onto the screen- I'm tiltin' it towards her- and it does the little shimmer!
...After she blinks a little, it loads to the main menu! Here's where all the icons are, dude! Lemme just quickly see if all the settings are at minimum-ish so that this thing doesn't explode super quick…
While I shift the icons, the rendered graphical representations of each of the games or submenus comes up on the main screen!
Genkan's eyes are wide as she takes in the visual spectacle of changing icons. Ooo~. They're shiny, dude.
I open the menu for the lighting an' power options by pokin' em with my fingernails. Y'know, I haven't have a freakin' single chance to clip them since I got to Gensokyo, and I always kept them at like proto-wizard length anyway, so that's probably part 'a why people thought I've been a youkai. Still- don't only mages and vampeys do that sorta nail thing? Or is it like, most youkai. Freaki~n'...
After scrollin' the menu down with my nails too, I see that the power options are already minimal! This room's only lit at all 'cause the sun's just on the cusp of exploding. By- by that, I mean setting…!
"This is… this reminds me of lunar technology." Genkan- woah, she leans in close…! "The blue, the kind of light emanating…"
Maria crawls across the bed behind us, and looks between us! "What is that…"
Ha-chan has seen it before, so she responds! "I have no idea!" I don't think I ever told her what it was, aside from like… I've given her one to play once or twice before! Or something!
"This is a 3DS!" Oh, man. I never imagined, despite being here for ten million years, that I'd be describing what a 3DS is to a yuki-onna and a magic girl. "...Based off 'a the Nintendo DS, or otherwise known as, Nintendo Dual Screen. 'Cause, y'know… two screens."
"Aptly named." Genkan prodded dryly at the naming convention. "This version hasn't three screens, however."
"Oh, that's 'cause it can do this…" I reach up fer the 3D slider, and slide it up while over the AR Games icon…!
I have no idea how well this translates with like three different faces, since the software-
"Woa~h…!" Maria jerks her head back! "That's neat…!"
"...Spatial magic? Illusionary?" Genkan instantly tries to think of some kinda magic!
"It's not using any mana or anything…" Maria shakes her head! "It doesn't accept any input, and there's no usages in it, either. I can only detect a faint… barely tangible electric presence."
...Genkan looks freakin' blown away! "Technology… is something. This... was made by humans, even?"
I click on Smash Bros, and make it start opening just 'cause! "Yeah, yo! Aw- now for the interactive parts! Y'can do more than click on menus an' stuff! All 'a this stuff, you don't need mana ta interact with."
Maria interjects! "How do you, then?"
"Sensors!" I supply! "...Non-magical sensors. Electrically charged things that detect impact an' heat. S'how the screen works. As fer the buttons, well, y'just need a pressed and unpressed condition."
"...I still don't know how those work, but…" Maria seems to relax on the 'why's! "How do you not know how it works, though?"
Oh, boy, that's a fun one. I take a moment, but the~n… "The price, of this technology, is that, like… consumer goods are super streamlined interfaces atop really fuckin' complex inner bits, which none of the consumers know shit about."
...Maria considers this. "That sounds… bad. I mean… the way you worded it, anyway."
...Lemme think of an allegory. "Like. What if a shop sold spell books, but the book only made the spell happen, and you weren't ever taught the spell? At the same time, what if like… the spell was actually really hard to learn, and took thousands upon thousands of reagents and herbs an' shit to even approach what ya could just buy from a massive, self-propelled manufactory?"
"How many people live in the outside world?" Genkan asks me something she might've asked before! "This scale you're describing… sounds improbable."
"Seven billion." I define! "...Hell, s'probably eight billion by now! I dunno now that I'm not outside anymore!"
...Oh, hey Smash Bros started. Let's just get into a quick CPU game! The start screen's effects instantly dazzle the girls, before I navigate to the proper main menu…
Shaking off the simple flair of the otherwise bland 3DS Smash start screen- a lot to someone who's never video game'd before- Maria continues an' stuff. "I can see that kinda ethic getting abused. Is it?"
"If the question's 'is something getting abused', and we're talkin' about the outside, the answer's yes somewhere!" I tell 'er outright! "It's like twenty million times the size 'a Gensokyo, and ten times as empty, wiith nothin' but humans and gihugic seas, like on that map… somethin' wrong's goin' on somewhere in the world! Although, corporate shit is, euu~h…" Business politics are so far abstracted from freakin'... Gensokyo. I don't even wanna think about it! S'not pertinent to me, aside from maybe Eientei!
After selectin' a stage and my character, I'm in the game, dude! I start movin' Mario around, and jumpin' around over this freakin'... recolored R.O.B. that got selected 'cause random other character.
"...Thi- this machine… is nowhere near as big as I expected." Genkan's taken aback, dude. "...Your inputs, what do they do?"
I hold the console towards Genkan! "You find out, dude. S'real simple, 'cause it'sa game! And- be gentle with it, 'cause outsider tech's kinda rare in this place…!"
Her pale fingers accept the black 3DS, and she starts pressin' the buttons and movin' the control pad like I did.
Mario moves on the screen in response to her touch! With these sensors and her inputs, the pretty pixels create not-3D imagery on a shining beacon of a screen.
The alien, unrecognizable mobilization of cartoony illustration blows "...Wow. This is... incredible."
She makes Mario jump off Battlefield, and into the great beyond…!
Thwa~sh, dude. Mario exploded!
...Once he respawns, Genkan makes him run to the ledge and fall off again!
I've got the stupidest grin on my face, son. "The- the B button makes the character do special attacks, and the A button does regulars!"
"Attacks…?" Genkan's just stupefied right now, yo. "This thing can attack?" Freakin'...!
After pressing the buttons, she discovers it just makes Mario punch and shoot fireballs. "O- oh. You meant the puppet." Yeah, dude! No- the 3DS can just freakin'... shoot forward and choke people to death!
...Man. We need to meet Mario again. What the fuck happened to him. Did he get raped by fairies and die…!?
"Oh, yeah. If you abruptly tilt the stick- pad thing, and press A at the same time, you do a smash attack, dude." Game mechani~cs!
...After she makes Mario do the explodey side fireball attack, she walks towards the R.O.B. that's just futzing about 'cause it's level three. After doin' another smash attack, she launches it a little! "...Do I attack that?"
"You attack it, dude." Unleash your cuddly assault, Genkan!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
The night's set in, dude. The sun outside's set, and we're all gettin' tired…
The 3DS's now turned off, an' set neatly on a nearby night stand the tiny room was allowed.
"Ha~h." Maria's under her covers, still in all her clothes…! Washing clothes is a foreign concept to us, dude. We'll get there!
"That strange technology… is really something." Now also tired and snugly sluggish, Genkan lied on the rightmost plain blue bed, propped onto her side. "It's completely shifted my expectations for machines. I also can't believe how long we spent just… messing with it."
Yeah, while she was playin' Smash, me and Maria were having a discussion on village politics, dude. Mostly about how shit everything is! The freakin', the water wells, the limited food and what we recently learned about the crime shit. I don't know what I wanna do tomorrow, bu~t…!
Oh, man. Not sure if other 3DS has Smash in it, too. If it does, me and Genkan totally need to play together. We could also show Maria for realsies!
Ha-chan's already lying behind Genkan like a lump, havin' gotten bored far earlier an' just floppin' over. They look snuggly together, dude. They're back to back!
"...Hoh, shit." I look for somewhere to sleep, dude. "We've run outta beds…!"
...After watching me look around aimlessly, Genkan shifts to open the bed covers up. "This blanket isn't for me. Get in here." Woah…!
"Aw. Okay…!" Wow that's inciting! Like- her clothed breasts are just like-... right there. She looks soft. Even if she's fully clothed, because we're all weirdos who sleep in clothing. I should probably take these gravity boots off first…
Alright! They are off, dude. Once you undo the bone clampers, they're super loose, actually...
The last time we lied together on a village bed like this, outside 'a exploding and falling onto one, it was completely superficial snuggling. 'Cause she didn't care at all about me, and I was just takin' her on the customary joyride I like to tug a lot of random noobs on. Now, though… s'kinda different!
I sli~p under the blankets, careful not to u~h… impede on her space.
Oh. She just- wraps an arm onto me, and pulls me closer… and, yeah.
It was hard to focus on it the other many times we've invaded one another's personal space, but now we're really close again. I'm just kinda squished up to her side, lying on my back as she exists to the left of me. It's even more weird, 'cause this nazi outfit does a pretty good job of covering all the bases! I wasn't wrong though. She's… she's soft. I dunno what to make of that.
Getting touched and held will never stop being weird. In a good way…
It's like my mind's… dulled a little. Sleep will come easier...
"The only reason the blanket is here, is because I know humans like that…" Genkan states, her voice close and soft. "But… now that I think about it, I don't know if you actually have sleeping preferences."
"Sleeping preferences, huh…" Well to be honest, when I like, actually relax, I prefer just in the undies, or nude, but that's not a super realistic option. "I like ta sleep...!"
"I guess not." She nestles her head into the like one pillow we got here. We didn't even take out Doremy's pillow. S'too late, now… "Isn't it uncomfortable, in a whole suit?"
"Well- yeah…" I admit, but uh, "it's ah, s'gonna be a cold night!" Bullshitting powers! Provided, I could also be in buddhist robes, but that's probably some kinda crime here…! Well, maybe I should loosen this tie…
Genkan snorted. "I'll keep you warm. I think you know at this point... that I won't so simply consume you, if you're not armored. If it's about the suit, you'll get help with it again in the morning, I'm sure..."
Yeah- I had ta phone some friends for some help doing the tie a bit, and tuckin' in all the dress shit. Some of it's weird! Also- keep me warm, huh...
"Aren't you uncomfortable, in that kimono?" I, uh, would gesture, but the way Genkan's holdin' onto me is like, my left arm's just against her, and my right arm's held in place by her arm.
"A yuki-onna's kimono should be an extension of her… at least, that's what we say." Genkan smiles at me…!? "To that end, it just feels natural."
"That suit, however, looks stiff. Tense."
Bringing her arm back across me as she lets me go, she points at it. "Consider it just my opinion… but, you should spend more nights truly relaxing, and not simply… crashing to regain energy. Or, begrudgingly losing a fight with sleep, by tossing yourself on the nearest rock or table."
...It does sound like a pretty good idea. And, Genkan's embrace sorta… it sounds cheesy, but it makes wherever the frik we're sleeping feel less like I'm just roughing it in a crappy hotel, or a rock. 'Cause soft woman.
"So what, y'want me ta just… undress?" I grin at her incredulously…! There's something a little out of place with this idea!
"If it makes you comfortable." She offered. "... I won't mind. That's the point, after all."
...There's some whacky, strange dissonance between the value we hold in freakin'... cuddling! She used to just like, not care, but then she started to care, and now she like… doesn't care again? Maybe? I have no freakin' idea!
Also- 'cause of this embrace, our faces are really close. She's really cute! I mean- Ha-chan and me have freakin' rubbed cheeks before, but-... I guess it's just something that never stops being alerting ta me!
"I'll uh… take the jacket and shirt off, 'cause it's freakin' bad." Oh yeah, left unsaid, but the nazi hat's on the nightstand too, 'cause otherwise it's just gonna end up under Genkan's ass or something.
Sliding out of the bed- leaving behind the warmth that somehow generated between me and her for the short period of time we freakin' half-hugged, I start gettin' rid of this nazi shit. The shirt, anyway. I don't really like sleeping in pants either, but I'm sleepin' in pants, son.
It takes awhile 'cause it's dress shit. Once it's off and I toss it on another table in the room, I~... move for the bed again. So freakin' surreal…!
I kinda clamber into the covers, and- oh!
Genkan latches onto me with an arm, pulling me back in. My eyes widen a little from the sensation of just getting pulled. It's entirely different from having shit on. Her sleeve havin' rolled up, her cool hand met my side as she pulled me in. Woah…
If- if I thought getting held before was weird, this is u~h… wow. I am exposed.
The cloth of her kimono is also just barely cold again, but seems to warm up unnaturally quick. The fabric's comfortable and soft, giving me the urge to just roll over onto her and hug her, but I'll… wait.
Her eyes trace my bare bones. "...You seem much more compact than I took you for." She observes how I don't exist…! "When you're on your back, I can especially see your ribcage. You really never eat."
"I just don't need ta eat a lot…" I contest…!
Despite our height difference normally- which isn't too much- it pretty much doesn't matter, now. The way she's positioned me makes me just lower down on the bed than she is. I feel like there's so much of her, compared to me, somehow...
"...This would normally be the part where you go 'hug' or something to that effect, then pass out on me." Genkan jests…!
"This feels different…!" There's something weird about havin' half of myself exposed like this. "And, the last time we really snuggled was like, an emergency procedure… and then we kinda did in that cave." That was super embarrassing in retrospect, but no one's gotta know about it!
...So. I'm just lying here, on my back still. It feels good. I feel awkward just… complaining basically about snuggling, but c'mon: the dissonance is real now!
"Brad," she begins, "we've known each other for… about a week, or a week and a half, I would say. I don't think I'd be wrong in claiming you're… incredibly new to the experience of cared for."
Uu~h…!? "Yeah…?"
"I would say I am, too; at least, in the traditional sense." Holy shit. "...I'm well-read on it, however. Or- or so I believe. That said… I think your outward nervousness is unwarranted. Not… that it's a bad thing. It's just… you don't have to worry."
I don't… have to worry. What's that mean…!? The contexts- they're numerous…!
...After a few moments, she closes her eyes. "Gods, I've overcomplicated this." Uh…!?
I look over at her, and she looks down at me. "What's your input on this?" ...Freakin'- oof!
"...Well. Like ya said, we've known each other for like a week or maybe two. ...I'm just thinkin' over the 'you don't hafta worry' line that'cha said."
...It takes 'er a moment to think over my tired drawling but then she finds an answer. "Well. I mean… you don't have to prove yourself. You're in no danger of making me hate you, or anything. You're… you're kind, sort of clever, and you like making people laugh."
"Am I freakin' ugly…!?" I ask the good question!
She blinks! "...Well- I wouldn't say so. You have… something I find appealing, anyway. I wouldn't be hugging you particularly so many times, if you were awful. I've noticed your hair wet a few times… and, it's a lot more consistent than the bush it normally is."
"...Wha's bad 'bout the bush…!?" I like my-... it's not really even a 'jew-fro' anymore, it's just a caveman tuft of fluff!
"We~ll. It's wild." Genkan raises her head up, and brights her arm back across to bat some of my loose chunks outta the way! "I need to take a comb to you. There's so many tangles, I'm afraid I'll end up combing out half your scalp." Hoh, shit…!
I grin at 'er! "Barbers hated me. Well- like, when I combed it, I like… took two hours and freakin' de-ratted the entire thing, and it still had tangles." I have not given this a single thought since Gensokyo.
"Two hours." Genkan grins at me…! "Oh, no. I guess I'll help you out…"
Her hand runs back across me- and- and up the side of my head, into my scalp. "So fluffy. And dirty, still. Did you wash your hair, when we bathed…?"
Oh, yeah. That was so in-and-out because of how fucking weird these half-heated rustic baths are. Also, the bathing barrels are outside, and it's the middle of winter. Jesus, fuck…!
How'd we get on the topic of love-not-love shit to my hair. "Weren't wa talkin' about lo- relationship shit…!?"
"Whatever." Genkan gives up. "You keep hugging me, and you've made yourself out to be cute. We both still don't know a lot about each other. I don't really care what this is classified as. ...The only thing I've been uncertain about, these past few days, is how often we'll take breaks, to have conversations like these." Woah.
She just spilled out a lotta stuff there! ...S'pretty nice stuff, too, I think...
Shifting a little, she lowers her eyes some. "These past few weeks have been a blur... of violence, and wonder. But… I suppose this sort of respite makes me content, too."
...Uhm- ah, woah. With her rigid grasp on me, Genkan moved her other arm to act. Quickly, she rotated me onto my side, 'cause she's freakin' strong, and I cooperate a bit...
"Hug." Wh- Genkan steals my line, and-
I'm pressed into her cool body, my face meeting her upper chest. This sudden sensation is just- it's dizzying. The soft plain below her collar is-... it's great. Her porcelain skin fills my vision, and I can super feel her features with, like… the rest of me.
My eyes are just… full. They look up as far as they can, and just see her skin, a little of her neck, and her chin. Just…
It's such a contrast to the mindset I was just in. I'm… just, sinking...
"Wrap your arms around me." I don't know if that's a recommendation, instructions or a command.
But, I do. And, once I maneuver them around her, she tugs onto me tighter…
Like this, I end up on my side, but half just… embedded into her. My mind instantly hits the bottom, once I'm pulled in really tight; it just, feels right. Embraces like this… make me feel mindless. Pleasantly empty inside; of worries and shit like thoughts.
The pull of her arms, the vulnerability of my body just submerged into her grasp. It sorta makes me question why and how but- then I run my gaze across her lovely collar. The center of her embrace.
She shifts to adjust the pillow under me, so I stay propped like this, with my face buried in her skin. "...I think you like it." I can feel her voice.
Not-... having a shirt on, make this feel so… intruding, in a good way. And her body's flux between warmth and cold is just right.
I'm done for. I close my eyes, and press my face deeper into her. Her heartbeat is- is right here. Wow...
One of her hands meets the back of my head. Her other arm seems to shift across my back.
My vision full and senses dull... I- I give into her. I- I...
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 88
Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Village Revolutionary, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles - Aw, Genkan gave me a summary! I can change elements, skills and resistances depending on the situation! Weaknesses vary…!
NON-EQUIP SKILLS:
Lucky Star - Non-elemental magic that does very random damage to one target. The star is summoned from above, and simply coasts into people.
Scent Pillow - A spell taught by Koakuma. The end-game strat, dude.
World's Wimpiest Fireball - A spell learned from a book given ta me by Patchouli. Not very good for anything…! May dry out targets.
Lumen - Low-grade holy spell that eats mana. Requires a source of holy to actually be cast. Homes in on an enemy and deals a burst of mediocre holy damage.
Double Jump - The good skill. Allows the user to completely cancel their falling momentum and jump again.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Fallen Comrade - Giant hanger made of three smaller ones. Sharper Than Darkness is at the front edge of it with the sickle facing out, and Swordbreaker is along the broad front edge to engage blades. Hard Winter makes up the backbone of the thing and the hilt so that it's actually wieldy!
STATS:
Slightly debuffs target's physical attack on impact.
Fifty percent darkness resistance.
Attacks are darkness elemental.
Sickle end may make opponents bleed.
SKILLS:
Revenge - Skill that increases in strength when health is lower. Power doubles for each deceased party member. Power is increased by fifty percent for each defeated party member. Fairies count as defeated rather than deceased no matter what. Power and effects depend on current weapon. High accuracy.
Bloody Mess - User bleeds faster and longer. Oof!
Jack Hammer - Y'know, I have no idea if this still works with it as is…!
Generic Buff - Channeling mana into the hanger gives the user a marginal increase in physical stats. Moderate increase to physical defense and offense.
Pulse - Basic dark magic, which creates an influx of dark magic in an enemy's form and stresses their whole body. Reduces magic attack.
Gaia Seed - Basic earth magic which intensifies Earth's pull a little. May make targets slightly tired.
Gaia Bloom - Advanced earth magic, which intensifies Earth's pull, with multiple instances of hazy earth magic. Makes the target tired.
Tundra - Crate-sized spike of ice that erupts under people and throws them off balance. I suppose it'd hurt if you fell on it. Basic ice attack.
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, before initializing fully by flash-freezing the air all around them.
Combo Plus - User artificially gets an extra hit. Can be canceled out of.
Combo Jump - User cancels out of combos easily.
Frost Trail - User leaves frost in their trail while jumping.
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - The best piece of equipment…! It's good, dude!
==o==
WEAPONS:
=o=
Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! Boosts the power of holy skills.
SKILLS:
Flash - Blinding magic. Works best on dark-elementals, but also works on youkai. Humans don't resist it, so it still works on them, with reduced efficiency.
Flashlight - It's a flashlight! Might blind dark youkai, I dunno…
Shine - Basic holy magic. Generates a holy orb in the target's body, randomly battering them with a raw holy gush.
=o=
Fairy Harp - "A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. Some kind of non-elemental monstrocity with grates, blocks and strings slapped onto it for no good reason." Some of Genkan's summaries were kinda oof, dude…!
SKILLS:
Gust - Basic wind magic. Pushes the feeble. Fee~ble…!
Fairy Dust - Weapon status effect replaced with fairy dust. Wind attacks with this weapon get fairy dust all over the enemy, reducing accuracy and senses.
Sick Ill Harp Cords - Get ready for my next great mixtape…!
=o=
Red Scare - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of purplish-red gems and crimson metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Also's got the good NERF gun attached now!
STATS:
Danmaku confuses the target.
Danmaku degrades the target's luck.
Danmaku may berserk the target.
Ignites things with physical impacts.
May berserk targets on physical impact.
SKILLS:
Hellfire Plume - A jet of hellfire. Berserks the targets, and isn't put out as easily. Not quite a grease fire, but unless it's totally frozen into oblivion, it ain't goin' out! Obeys fire resistance like any fire, though.
Fume - Makes hot air fume from the earth below. Might sear the feeble.
Berserk - Non-damaging fire spell which berserks a target for awhile. Can be removed with water or ice stuff!
Danmaku Adaptability - Now that there's a NERF gun on it I can shoot the good danmaku dude.
=o=
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Boosts the power of wind skills. Maybe I should purchase fast food, and disguise it as my own cooking. Ho ho ho…!
=o=
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Boosts the power of water skills.
SKILLS:
Freakin' Leaks! - Can produce limitless fresh hanger water…!
Geyser - Basic water attack. Gush of water erupts from the earth and might fling the feeble…!
Valve - I can control the water flow with this!
=o=
Bee-Fitty-Fore-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Made of a lot of weird freakin' parts and stick bits and piston things. Has a NERF gun slapped onto it too!
STATS:
Danmaku explodes, dealing knockback and splash damage.
Accuracy falls moderately when used to fire danmaku.
SKILLS:
Boom - Hitting stuff makes booms!
Danmaku Adaptability - Can also shoot the good danmaku, dude.
=o=
Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself, along with some shoddy enchantments!
STATS:
Lowers user's defense slightly.
Attacks are electric and holy elemental.
Attacks travel through matter
Attacks become magical rather than physical.
SKILLS:
Panic Attack! - Run faster when health is lower!
Magic Attack - Physical attacks are converted to magic attacks, and fluidly pass through objects.
Combo Jump - Allows the user to transition to jumping while mid-attack.
Aerial Plus - Forced aerial support! It's vaguely easier to hit aerial foes with it!
Air Slide Plus - Lets the user awkwardly air slide.
Glide - Replaces my double jump skill with gliding.
High Jump - Increased jump height while running.
=o=
Fragile Flower - A cute hanger with floral designs and light colors. Aesthetically pleasing!
SKILLS:
Enfeebled - Wielder has halved physical defense and offense.
Cleanse - Basic healing skill which cleanses one target of all debuffs or status problems.
=o=
Dream Hanger - Non-elemental hanger. Black and unassuming metal. Currently balanced, and easy for Brad to use. Has innate magical properties to it.
STATS:
Increases accuracy slightly. Somehow…? So said Genkan.
Ten percent instant death resistance. Hoh…!
=o=
London Operating Cross - A cross that lets me summon good 'ol London, yo. Non-elemental in nature. Not actually a plant hanger. London herself uses Fireball, Ice Shard and Thunderbolt, but can only use a few spells before runnin' outta mana. Also fires diamond-shaped patterns 'a yellow, diamond-shaped danmaku. Hoh! Costly-ish to use…!
=o=
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…
NERF longsword: the sequel - Now I can dual wield these useless, narratively non-existent armaments!
==o==
ARMOR:
Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business. Doesn't actually help him hide in the brush.
STATS:
One hundred fifty percent ice resistance.
Fifty percent freeze resistance.
Fifty percent dark resistance.
Negative fifty percent fire resistance.
Negative fifty percent freeze resistance.
=o=
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Pink dress with lots of white ribbons. I'm not sure what to say about this...
STATS:
Seventy-five percent time resistance.
=o=
Yellow Racecar Helmet -It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
STATS:
Fifty percent sun resistance.
One hundred percent freezing resistance.
One hundred percent blinding resistance.
One hundred percent electrical stunning resistance.
=o=
Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it.
STATS:
One hundred percent electricity resistant.
One hundred percent freezing resistant.
Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.
Zero Gravity - Area of effect spell which removes gravity from debris and the feeble!
=o=
Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' space helmet.
STATS: (alone)
Fifty percent blinding resistant.
STATS: (paired with Lunarian Prototype Space Suit)
One hundred percent electricity resistant. Again, yo!
One hundred percent resistance to burning and being actively poisoned.
=o=
Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes. Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.
=o=
MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field.
STATS:
Extends prize grabbing range. Yay…?
=o=
Sun Badge - A badge that looks like the sun. How interesting, dude.
STATS:
Fifteen percent sun resistant. I need to smelt this into a weapon…!
Fifty percent resistance to blinding and electrical stunning.
Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare. Yuck…!
SKILLS:
Sunfire Flare - Flash of light that blinds everyone. Doesn't work on the sun-resistant.
=o=
Stock Outfit - Blue, long-sleeved shirt with a huge V-neck button-up collar. Blue sweatpants. Most balanced outfit.
STATS:
Negative five wind resistance.
May make the wearer tired.
=o=
Retro Patchy Hat - A really old hat of Patchy's. It's freakin floofy, du~de…!
STATS:
Moderate increase to magical defense and offense.
=o=
Moon Crescent - Patchy's favorite accessory.
STATS:
Immunity to silencing.
Twenty five percent moon resistance.
Moderate increase to magical offense.
=o=
Anti-Magic Amulet - Deep blue, crystalline necklace given by Patchy in exchange for a blue dragon's bone. I should incorporate this into an outfit too so I don't freakin' forget it, 'cause it's real important!
STATS:
Sharply increases magical defense.
=o=
Cow Costume - Female clothing, of some description…? I think! S'freakin' weird, dude!
STATS:
Increases breast size by twenty five percent.
Increases max health by fifty percent.
Wearer is immune to dispelling.
=o=
Autumn Dress - An actually sensible dress…! Looks like generic villager garb, except prettier and with brighter colors. Even aged, it's still bright!
STATS:
Wearer is immune to tiredness.
Wearer is immune to holy weakness.
Wearer is immune to stunning.
=o=
Iron Cross - Big World War II medal! Freakin'- holy shit…
STATS:
Randomly summons explosion backup.
Fifty percent bomb resistance.
Stagger immunity.
=o=
Officer Hat - Nazi officer hat…! I better not get a million angry letters for finding this!
STATS:
Fifty percent darkness resistant.
Wearer is immune to instant death.
=o=
Officer's Coat - Nazi officer coat, too! Oh boy oh boy…
STATS:
Fifty percent darkness resistant.
Wearer is immune to being cursed.
Slightly boosts defense and magic defense.
=o=
Reimu's Outfit - Shrine maiden clothes, dude. Holy resistant, but I dunno how much! Even comes with the bindings and tubes and ribbon 'n' everything!
Reimu's Ribbon - Man, that's cuddly looking. I need to hug Reimu now, dude...
Hakurei Arm Sleeves - No- teach me, how do you wear these!?
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Legends say that if touhous do not wear this hat, they die dude.
Monk Robes - Doesn't really stack up to my other shit at this point! Wonder what I can do wit' it...
Gravity Boots - Boots that reduce the user's gravity! More like, propels them off the floor a little. Reduces the effectiveness of space statuses on the user. Really weird to control…!
==o==
CONSUMABLES/OTHER:
Fifty two thousand, seven hundred Yen - Cash just got a lot smaller...
Four Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!
Some Fancy Key - A key lent to me by Brittany. Wha- why. What's it for…!?
Youkai Exterminator Badge - I still have this, dude! Yo ho ho! Allows me to not be considered a youkai by most guardsmen!
Yellow Star Gem - A star-shaped yellow gem. I really should've asked Patchy what this did…! It's shiny and luminescent, though.
Sweet Sleep Pillow - Doremy's nice cuddly pillow. Really soft. Random chance to survey you on pillow quality while you're sleeping.
Genkan's Sweet Sleep Pillow - It's also pretty poofy...
3DS - It's about time I recorded the fact I have a 3DS!
Another 3DS - Especially 'cause I picked up anotha'!
Picture of Sendai Hakurei no Miko Sleeping on her Side and Facing the Viewer while Drowsy - ...Yeah uh, what it says on the tin. Reimu must see this, dude…!
Masturbation Pillow - ...Genkan probably would've given me a look fer this, if she could! Wau…
Dark Knife - Where the hell'd this- oh, wait! This is the thing Genkan got from that fairy! She just slipped it in here while no one was lookin'...
Combo Technology - Red, orange and yellow piece of plastic and metal, about the size of a plant hanger. Not sure what the hell it is… but it looks pretty neat.
Wasp Stinger - Let the crap pile o~n!
Seventeen Rubies - Big, red gems! I really don't know how much they're worth, but…!
==o==
RANDOM CRAP:
Tables and Furniture - Impromptu furnishings!
==o==
Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning. Cuddly, dude...
SKILLS:
Ice Control - Freely use ice to make stuff. Inherent one hundred percent ice resistance. Negative one hundred fire and burning resistance.
Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.
Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.
Tundra - Precursor to Glacier. Weak spike of ice that serves more as a warning. Physical ice attack.
Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.
Triple Glacier - Same as above, except with more sudden scope across more targets. Less accurate. More costly.
Ice Spin - Not the skill Brad thinks it is. Creates a ring of initializing frost around a wide area, with a high chance to freeze.
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.
Snow - Make it snow locally. Very minor ambient ice damage to everyone on the battlefield, including allies. Has a low chance to instantly freeze someone for no reason.
Yuki-onna's Embrace - Hug. Binds target close to her. Makes the target tired, severely lowers accuracy and magical defense, and makes them comfortable. Skill may only be performed by my kind. Negative facets reduced by ice and freezing resist. Someone with over a hundred resistance will be buffed and healed by it.
Yuki-onna's Entombment - Final, optional stage of the hug. Guaranteed instant death inflicted by the draining of vitality. Heals the user for the heat taken from the target. Does not work well on bosses or the instant death resistant. Instant death proc is nullified if the target's ice or freezing resistance is over fifty percent. Skill may only be performed by my kind.
INVENTORY:
Absolute Zero Kimono - A better version of the stock yuki-onna kimono. Outfited with new royal blue and cyan trims. It's fun, dude...
STATS:
One hundred percent ice resistance.
Effects vary when not worn by her…!
=o=
Two thousand yen - Pocket money.
Bagged Money - We still dunno how much Reimu gave us...
Peppermint - Yo- Genkan has candy…!?
Fans - Regular fans. Helps her spread out frigid air, but she mostly holds onto them for personal fashion, apparently...
Ninjas of Love - Novel? Yo- what...
Viking Rune - Reusable rune that summons a viking monolith. Whiterock was very brief, but apparently vikings were ancient warriors who hailed from frozen lands to the north. Once summoned, it greatly increases everyone's physical attack prowess, before firing a frost spark with massive freezing capabilities. Very costly to all party members. Uses two inventory slots.
[three spaces remaining]
==o==
Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Sort of down on herself, and not very confident… but when she gains steam, she can be very determined. Resistances and weaknesses depend on equipment. Can cast basic elemental spells.
SKILLS:
Fire - Small, homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes! Doesn't do much damage.
Fira - Slightly larger homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes. Bursts broader than the preceding spell.
Blizzard - Spread shot of big snowflakes. May chill foes.
Blizzara - Big spread shot of myriad ice chunks, with magical snowflakes whirling around inside them. May freeze foes.
Thunder - Random spread of bolts in an area. Basic electric spell.
Thundara - Random spread of bolts in an area which explode on impact with the ground. May stun foes.
Charm - Boosts magical attack of self or an ally moderately.
Seduction - Skill that temporarily seduces a foe. Single target, and doesn't work well on bigger girls...
INVENTORY:
Pine Frost Staff - Made with pine wood and an icy reagent.
STATS:
Twenty five percent ice resistance.
One hundred percent freezing resistance.
Negative fifty percent burning resistance.
SKILLS:
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.
=o=
Stubby Rapier - A shiny, brass rapier. Imbued with magical energy, for spell swords.
STATS:
Fifty percent dispel resistance.
=o=
Casual Freeze Clothes - Casual, neon villager garb. Bright yellow shirt with a blue snowflake stitched onto the front, a bright blue skirt, and a tan vest.
STATS:
Fifty percent ice resistant.
One hundred percent freezing resistant.
=o=
Wood Staff - Training foci for magic. Not very good for much else.
Magical Lens - When coupled with magic, this lens shoots non-elemental lasers. Gift from Marcus Kirisame.
[Travel Bag] - Item that grants inventory by holding more items. Wahaha! Eight slots.
Two Mana Potions - Alchemical blends which restore magic energy.
Sabbath Pamphlet - Dark brochure imbued with instructional magic, and desires from a land far, far away. Teaches Seduction to mages.
[three spaces remaining]
==o==
Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - Snuggly fairy maid companion…! Healed by electric magic. Immune to electric stunning, 'cause yeah. Weak to earth, poison and darkness. Quick to become ill from poison.
SKILLS:
Little Zap - Basic electric magic. Zaps a target twice with static from above.
Random Electric - When pressured, uses random electric spells.
Electric Control - With true power, she's able to stun opponents into submission by touching them.
Electric Elemental - Three hundred percent electric resistant. One hundred percent resistance to electrical stunning.
INVENTORY:
Hana's Fairy Maid Uniform - Stock standard uniform from the mansion! Cyan-tinted in places to match her hair color. Hoh...
==o==
Seikatsu Kikai, the Human Salvation Robot - The mysterious, alighty T-posing robot! Aaah- aaa~h!
SKILLS:
Medibeam - A slow-healing beam, which takes a couple minutes to rejuvenate someone. Feels good to be targeted by…
Cloaking - Seikatsu becomes invisible.
Scan - Returns data on a foe, including name, biological info, stats and strategies. All of us can call on this skill.
==o==
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
man i must've died right when finishing all these chapters, this one still doesn't have an author's note
let's make one now!
anyway, yeah. sittin' on the cusp of the good chapter up next dude
but i'll let you find it out dude
this chapter was pretty alright! i thought the pace would be worse than it was but it's pretty decent or so i think
the heart-to-heart might've gone on longer than it needed but i'm a bit jaded. the whole scene went through some reworks to get it where i wanted it but i think it's okay now!
also the whole night conversation with genkan got a lot of special attention to cover fun ground but it was nice
my ever-present anxiety about quality still hangs in the air so while i march forward please define likes and dislikes so you may be processed in the brad machine
by which i mean beat me the fuck up scotty
we also got to stand in place for awhile and meet some fun touhous, who were enjoying the recent incident
who's a DREAM who's a REAL'UN, yo; the world may never know
as always, see you all next time!
