(in which we sink into the bathtub beyond dude)
Well! We are now… trained killers, dude. Genkan can spin, Maria can staff, and I can… swing. Good, dude!
"It's almost night." Genkan takes the good notice…
"...Mmm." Maria hums in agreeance, dude. "That nap really threw us off, huh."
We're now somewhere in the freakin' temple, dude. We moved in from the courtyard in the middle 'a the evening, 'cause it was gettin' dark, dude. We also had nothing to do out there!
Seems like some kinda other kitchen we've walked into. Freakin', how many kitchens does this place have!?
In here, we got Murasa eating some mandarins, and, uh…
"You could always put us to sleep." Maria suggested…
Genkan shook her head. "That wouldn't necessarily get me to bed. Even if, I could simply go longer without rest."
I've got a better inquiry! "...How's a ghost eat food?"
...Murasa just turns to me! "With its mouth."
Oof. I guess so!
Ha-chan's already next to her, eating some herself. "Mmh…"
We should interrogate some random buddhists, dude. Learn about the urban legends of the tiny temple!
"Let's do the good exploring, friends." I beckon them to follow me further into the halls!
Genkan pushes past me, to lead more! "There's not much use sleeping now, as it is."
Stoppin' by Murasa's mandarin bowl, Maria steals a few for the road, and follows us.
Crea~k. Pushin' ahead, Genkan leads us into this kinda big room. Her long, black hair is long, dude!
Here we are, yo. A room. It's a very good room, too. After a moment, I actually get to see a bit more! And, uh… huh. This is actually pretty interesting…!
So, the upper design of this floor's a sorta S-shape. We're also on it, 'cause nothing's above us from here. Otherwise, everywhere there that wasn't floor… was an opening to a water reservoir down below.
Nearing the edge of the wood floor, I look over the metal rail into the freakin'... weirdly luminescent, blue water. There's some blue bricks fer the walls, too! "Aw. It's the bathing dipper, dude."
"It's- it's a river, of some sort, I'm pretty sure…" Genkan disagreed with that idea! "Maybe. ...I don't actually know what this is."
...I take a look at Maria, but she seems bemused by it, too!
"This reminds me." Floatin' away from the rail, Genkan looks down at me…! "We need to get you into a real bath, at some point. With soap." Oh, shit. "And, scrubbers." Scrubbers…!
"Soap…?" Maria- you better know what soap is- "Do you think they have enough money here, for that?"
Genkan blinked at 'er! "...Considering magic, shouldn't the village have magicians who simply alchemize soap?"
Noddin', Maria agreed. "Yeah. But, quality depends on price, too. It's gone way up in the last year, actually. It's… about two thousand yen for the bars that actually work. You can still get the two hundred yen ones, but-... everyone just saves and uses the pricey ones sparingly. That might be why the price raised to begin with, but…"
Outside world overcharges fer gas. The inside world? Overcharges ya on soap! What a world, dude, what a world.
"...Perhaps they've got their own soap mages, here." Genkan hopes! Also- soap mages!? Dude!
Fer some reason, along the inside 'a this sorta rectangular S-shape is blue carpets an' stuff. Like, almost like the regal red carpets, but blue. Palette swaps!
Also, couches and plants an' magi-lamps. Really well decorated, for having abysses into the watery reserves below!
"Dude." We must go into that bullshit. "Genkan- what if ya froze the water reserves…!?"
"I think that'd be a very stupid idea." She immediately disparages me…! "For what actual reason."
Well, y'know what…!? "Why'd it be stupid, yo?" Riddle me that!
"Because, if I freeze it, it will backup the natural water flow, and then it will build up or flow over whatever segment I'd frozen." She speaks the scary amount of actual logic…! "Unless I put us in a bubble as we did it, or made a barrier of some kind, we'd get washed out. And, if not that, still wetted, likely."
...Wait. "Didja just assume we'd go down onto the frozen stuff?"
...She took pause! "Well-... yes. I got a little carried away. The former was the more realistic outcome. As in, if we froze everything, the water would build up and damage the architecture, and it'd be our fault."
Got a little carried away…? "What's the idea ya got carried away with…!?" Ooh…
Gazin' at the water again, she took in a breath… "Well. If I froze it, and you used your fire hanger or something else, we could dig down into the water. That also runs the risk of shattering the ice around us, and getting us flooded."
"Why." Maria looks at us like we're crazy…! "There's nothing down there…"
Hmm. This is true. "...I mean- I was actually thinking of basically that, except we also dig into the floor!"
Uh oh. Genkan just keeps drifting along! "Let's not do that. I-, look…" She turns back ta me! "Humping walls randomly doesn't take setup time, at least. Checking the bottom of an artificial riverbed by mining into it, however, is an investment I don't think is worth it."
...Maria questions that! "But- if we saw something, would you be willing to…?"
...She turns away. "Tell me if you see a treasure chest down there, or something. I'd be fine with that, actually." Yo ho ho!
"Yeah, that's fair enough…" I consent defeat, dude. "Alternatively, we could just break the floor from afar…!"
"Then we might drain the riverbed into the earth, and ruin everything." Genkan actually almost grins at me, but stops herself! "Unless the secret is a temple-wide catastrophe, we might want to not pursue it." Oof…!
So we pass through the river room, just like that. The water looks so deep though, dude! Ma~n…
Oh, well. Maybe someday, dude.
Shoof. Genkan slides open the door at the end of the room, and I move into it-
pap. Uh oh. I bumped a noob, with my nonexistent tubbiness.
"Um…" Kyouko gives me an idle, fluffy look. "Whadd're you doin'-... here." Then, she realizes who I am! "Oh, hey Brad!" Yo ho ho!
"Hello tiny friend!" I wave at tiny friend!
...Aw. Then she compacts, an' look shifty. "Uu~m…" Lookin' up at Genkan an' Maria, she then looks at me again. "They're with you, right?"
"Ye." I nod. She's gonna sell me guns, dude.
She gives me a wave! "Follow me! It's in!"
Yeah, dude! Hole in one!
...Genkan looks at me questioningly, and I give 'er a nod! "We're buyin' guns, dude! American firearms!"
Kyouko whips back to me! "Wh- don't say that aloud!? And- what do you mean guns? It's the rewards from the concert!"
The concert! Oh, shit- yeah! I forgot about that when Merry rolled around, sorta! Fuckin'...!
"Ah, yeah!" I remember! "The gun rewards from the concert!"
"They're not freakin' guns!" She yips back at me! "Now come wit' me and keep quiet! We can't let-..."
Someone's comin' this way, so Kyouko made nice and snuggly… and quiet.
Oh- shit, it's Sakuya! And, man, she's got a hell of a regular power walk!
"Yo, friend." I call out to her, as she passes! "Are you fluffy?" Kinda surprised she's still here, after all of that.
"I'm busy." She returns a stare to me, stoppin' before us! "What are you three up to, anyway?" Daa~h…
"We're getting Brad a bath." Genkan declares…!? "A flea bath."
...Sakuya still just looks idle! "I can say he most likely needs it. Have fun washing him." An' then- ohp, she's just- power walked away. She's on a mission!
"I'm not- hrm…" Genkan just lets herself slouch, as Sakuya powers away. "Fine enough, I suppose." ...She sights Kyouko again, all impatient like! "Where are you taking us, then?"
"Just- follow me…" Aw. She snuggles on off, snuggly-like. She's so snuggly, dude…! "And- don't tell anyone we're going anywhere…" Real discreet, son.
While we all meander in her vague direction, I turn ta Genkan… "This is a sneaking mission, dude."
"I remember that concert thing, actually." Maria remembers! "...Wait. You!" She points at-... Kyouko! "You're one of the singers!"
Kyouko's eyes widen, and she holds a finger to her mouth when she looks back at Maria! "Shh~! It's- a secret!"
...Maria curled her brows up, dude. "How?"
...Givin' a brief wave back at us, she just keeps scootin' down the hall. "It- I'll tell you soon. C'mon."
We all trail after her, 'cause she's fluffy, and we're stirred by this fact…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We're now outside.
Around the left of the temple, under the dinky wooden walls all around it, there was a little hole dug there.
Shunk. Mystia lugged this big ass black case out from the hole! "Jee~z…"
clap- clap- clap. As we stood before it, Kyouko clapped her hands, softly! Aw…
Man, this crate is like freakin', illegal arms-sized! Big, black, and really fuckin' heavy looking.
"What was this, about a concert?" Genkan looks mystified! "...Was it in the village?"
"Yeah, actually…" Maria provides! "I helped out, a little. With Marcus's, um, hand in it."
"Yeah, dude!" That was some hype shit! "That was back in my marauder days, dude!" I used to roam wild and free! Like the skoolatoons, dude…
shoo- shoof. In the hole behind the box, after Mystia'd lugged it out, some fluffles occurred… making silent, but nugget-y faces. Du~de…!
Taking a tiny shovel from nearby, Mystia began whacking at them. "Nn- no, no."
"what no" They were alarmed, dude. "stop" Uh oh.
This whole outer-walling of the temple is real dimly lit, 'cause the sun is just gettin' to takin' a nice sit. The land is dark, but the sky is a fading orange-blue hue. How snuggly of an evening...
...Once she was finished staving them off, Mystia thrusts the shovel into the dirt, and comes on up ta us. "Who're some of these?"
"Brad's friends." Kyouko smiles! "They won't tattle on us. Right?" Hoh, shit…!
"...I don't know what we'd tattle on you for." Genkan admits! "I suppose that depends what's in that box."
"Hard drugs." I confess. "Heavy enough to fall through the earth…!"
...Instead 'a sayin' anything, Mystia just kinda saunters up before it, lookin' over us. "Hello, ice cubes. Or, should I say, ice boobs."
"I think I'm tattling on you just for that." Genkan aggresses her, dude!
"Hehe~!" With that, Kyouko bounds up ta the box! "Let's open it, Mysty~!"
CLI- CLICK. The latches are heavy and burly, and make satisfying noises as they snap outta place!
Crea~k. Castin' the top offa' the case, Kyouko folds it on open, and we all kinda gather around…!
Unlike a treasure chest, it doesn't glow your eyes out for no reason as you open it! Instead, it's just stuff, and it's nice, dude.
"Woa~h!"Mystia's eyes light up at some of the money, inside! "Would ya look at that…!?"
"Yeah. Gee." I give it an idle nod…
...Mystia turns back, an' furrows her brows at me. "What? Look- you're already getting custom items. I don't think you need-"
"Let's give him a little, Mysty…" Kyouko fruitlessly negotiates with her…! "Besides-... I think he kinda needs it…" Son!
"I actually don't!" They don't know the crazy shit that just went down! "You can keep all 'a it…!"
Kyouko just gives me a concerned look! "Um, are you sure? You don't have to play humble here, or anything…"
"I'm sure!" I really don't!
...Mystia grins at Kyouko. "Told ya~."
"Ah, shuddup…" Shakin' her head, Kyouko goes back ta rifling through the stuffs.
Fwo- fwoof. From inside, she draws a new leather, copper and brass stud 'n' button affixed kimono thing! "Tada~! You can't tell me you're not takin' this, so here!" She tosses it at me!
An' I catch it! "Yea~h, du~de!" Wind resistance, here I come! Kanako won't have shit on this boy!
There's also some shiny new instruments, fer the girls! And- ooh…? Oo~h…
Near the bottom of the case, there's a freakin'... ooh.
Reachin' in, I find this freakin'... guitar lookin' shit, very top ends in a series 'a knobs to tune the thing, but above that is a plant hanger handle, fit with an actual, grip-aided handle built into the shaft before the curvy bit! Holy shit!
twi- twing. I pluck the shiny, prism-like cords, and make freakin' stringy noises!
"Wo- woa~h…" Maria's eyebrows raise at it! "That's… windy."
"Windy, huh." Aw. What should I call it, dude…!?
Flipping the thing around- oh. It has a name engraved in a brass plate on the back, in English. What the fuck. Was this made for me in particular!?
'Lion's Lindworm'. The fuck is a Lindworm.
"Aah." Kyouko brings some paper outta the box, too. "Manua~ls."
"Who the fuck needs those." Mystia condescends the manuals! "...Gimme." Hoh.
Facin' away from the box, she also gives me a manual for my freakin' guitar hanger thing. "He~re ya go."
Holy shit. A manual for my plant hanger guitar, dude.
Flippin' the thing open, I clumsily hold the guitar in one hand, and the tiny note thing in the other…!
Let's read it, dude!
'Hello! Hello.
I assume you wouldn't be interested in actually using this as a guitar, so much. But, if you ever wanted to… the cords are stored inside the flap along the back. Amp and stereo not included!
It's about time I got this to you, hmm? I did say you'd get some reward, for your participation in the concert… and, as things have panned out accordingly now, I've got this for you!
It's quite an effective building block for a weapon. As your Maria there will tell you, it's enchanted with the power of the wind. It boosts the power of wind skills. It prevents the user from being air-tossed, a status artificially inflicted by a whole bundle of weaker wind spells and attacks. Isn't that neat?
It features some boring abilities, to encourage you to add it to other things. But, they're not all bad, I'm sure you'll find. Especially if you stop being bad at hitting things. Why, you should see Maribel's proficiency with a cast iron, these days! Her skills put yours to shame!'
Freakin'... Yukari's really layin' it on, huh!?
'It has an ability called Combo Jump, which lets you jump out of combo attacks. More useful now that you actually have thought of a combo attack, isn't it? Additionally, should you ever pair it with Million Bucks, it also has Combo Air Slide… which, lets you air slide out of a combo attack, too. Truly amazing stuff. The final skill it lets you borrow is Aero Finish, which will deal air-toss status to enemies when you deal combo finishers. That's something I encourage you to experiment with. Get out there and do some visceral finishers now, would you? I almost can't believe I've had to give you something like this as incentive.
Sincerely,
Y.Y.'
Yeah, it was Yukari. Freakin', what's this about Merry becomin' a plant hanger wizard, too!? Also, the good combo skills I've pretty much just fuckin' ignored up until this point, 'cause I never found a good way to do combos with my dinky goddamn arms!
"...What does it say?" Oh- shit, where'd you come from, Genkan? Aw…
"It's instructions," I inform her. "On how to read the instructions!"
...Her gaze intensifies! "It's not really helping me. It's all in English…"
Yukari should help me with names more often! 'Cause Lion's Lindworm is kinda neat compared to my other shit!
...I'll pro'lly keep Lion's Lindworm as the name fer awhile, even after I tack other shit onto it. Just 'cause, it's a good name, and also hard-plated onto the guitar, so naming it something else while that shows is kinda retarded.
"Ooo~..." Ha-chan found another wand thing! Like, the one that shot flares! Aw...
"This was freakin' productive, apparently!" Freakin', I got a really badass hanger outta all that shit! Also, that outfit! Oh, oh man. Yukari spoke about fusing weapons, too. I really need to fuckin' fuse shit to this. Oh man, oh man!
"I feel like I've missed something…" Genkan looks a little left out, despite being right next ta me!
...Lowerin' her new microphone, Kyouko gives her a nod. "Awh. Next time we play something, we might just invite you guys!"
Mystia snorts. "What's with you and inviting random idiots to decorate the stage…"
"'Cause they decorate the stage, Mysty. You- you answered your own question…" Kyouko's just givin' her the good grin back…!
...Slouchin', Mystia snorts! "Well, whatever. If they want to, I guess that'd be fine. Whenever we book our next concert…"
Kyouko snorts back again! "Yeah. Well, we'll see."
...Facin' us, she gives a big smile! "Um. So, basically… Byakuren, umm, doesn't know about this whole band and rock 'n' roll thing. So it'd be nice, if you didn't tattle…"
I like how she was more askin' Genkan than I was! An' then Genkan was all like-... "Mmm. I would feel bad if I did. There's really no reason to trust this Byakuren's judgment on things, to begin with." Hoh. Like us, she's a free spirit, dude.
"Thank yo~u." Now Kyouko's all warm and fluffy… "Oh! You guys should go see Stormy, at some point. He's building a cool boat thing!" Aaw. A four-hundred foot yacht country, dude!
"...Mm." Genkan gave 'er a curt nod… "I think we're putting Brad through a river, first." Wat- no, help.
Oo~h. Now that I'm thinkin' about it, a bunch of people here could probably combine weapons and stuff! Aw- maybe we could see Shou again fer that! Duhuhude-
"Let's go, Brad." Genkan beckons me to follow! "If you're done with this stuff, that is."
...I turn back ta the girls, and Kyouko gives me a big thumbs up! An' Mystia's just doin' her Mystia things, she doesn't give no shits.
"Ye." Let's go do our own stuff now, dude.
"See ya late~r!" Kyouko calls out ta us! Man. That concert thing was fun, dude.
So now we saunter off into the evening, dude. To find a water tub, probably… ho~h. I can't wait ta find someone to mash some shit together with! Gonna use them as gorilla glue, son!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We have backtracked to Murasa, who was just about finished with a glass 'a milk. Y'know, somehow.
"Would you fuck a fluffle." I ask her the question we came here to ask her.
...She just gives me a parts bemused, parts distilled stare! "Y'fookin' stupid, boy?" Wahaha! "Wh- why're you all up in that taoist hack's robes, anyway?" Oh shit, I still haven't taken off the miko outfit!
Genkan shook her head! "What he means, is that we're looking for a bathtub, or washroom."
Ha-chan scoots on up to her, and looks gentle…
"A washroom, ah…?" Gettin' up, Murasa gives us all anotha' once over. "Considerin' how lost you all looked, I'm gonna hazard a guess an' say you don't know yer way 'round here…"
"Accurate." Genkan gave her a slow nod…
Fwi~sh. Ha-chan swung her new wand thing she found again, and a sparkly flare met Murasa's face! "Wh- damn! Aah…!" Wahaha~!
"Hana~..." Genkan's ready to assault her, dude!
"Hehehe~!" Ha-chan likes it!
The flare fizzles out, an' Murasa starts marchin' ahead! "Just- follow me, an' don't peg me wit' a damned flare again, y'dingbat Scarlet fae…"
"I'm a dingbat!" Ha-chan, freakin'...! "Ding!"
"I will ding you against a bat." Genkan's also riled up…! Ho ho ho…!
Maria freakin' giggles! "Gee- geez, guys…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
So now we're followin' Murasa down a buncha halls! The good thing about every big fuckoff fortress biome we visit, is that nothing is very conveniently just a room or two away from one another! You wanna take a shit in the SDM? Have fun traversing a rogue-like dungeon on the way, and getting raped by fairies…!
At least the monks don't attack you and hump your dick to death, here. Unless it's Byakuren and you're a trap, actually… then it's more like a horror game, except the fail state is boobs!
"So." I lower my hands, finished with a story. "That's three fucks, dude. It's a trifecta. A fuckfecta…!"
"I- don't get it." Oof. Maria was lost on the way...
"Brad." While we follow Murasasasa, Genkan chats me up! "How often do you bathe?" Uh- oh. That's the bad question, dude.
"...Since I got to Gensokyo, not much!" Ho ho. But, this is the good answer!
"Before that?" Genkan, why. What's it matter…!?
"...I took showers!" I defend myself defensively! "When it was needed..."
"How often was it needed?" Oh, god. Well- finding the time for it was always hard, but- if we wanted to make a compromise between how fucktacular my shower-attendance record was…!
"Weekly?" I guess more than answer! Actually, wait…
...She tilts her head! "That's more often than I'd have thought, actually." Hoh. Because we are in old times land, daily showers are an incomprehensible luxury, and not a 'you-are-an-unclean-asshole-if-you-don't-do-this' practice. Not that it ever mattered, 'cause deodorant is powerful and most of the time I just sat at a computer anyway…
Maria looks curious, at that! "You guys have enough soap for weekly bathing?"
...I grin at 'er! "Actually, on the outside, if ya don't bathe like everyday, people think yer an asshole. Usually I just tell people I bathe every two days, and they're like 'eennh' but don't argue with me 'bout it!"
Turnin' back ta us as we go down unnamed generic hallway number ten million, Murasa grins at us! "Folks down here in the temple love their baths, y'know. Not too much ta do 'round here otherwise, 'cept train 'n' read, 'n' some other things…"
Aw. I wonder. "Do they take two minute baths everyday to not be ousted as dirty assholes?" I ask 'er!
She snorts at that! "Who the hell gets in a hot tub fer two minutes!? We got showers fer that, but there ain't much point in washin' up religiously, unless ya just got down an' dirty 'er somethin'."
Eventually, we end up in a tubby clearing. There's three big doors, to what looks like changin' rooms, obscured by the good curtains.
"Bathing in the village is… like, monthly." Maria reveals! "If you have money. Otherwise, it's more like um… bi-monthly, and depending if you're about to um, go on a date or something." Hoh. Ironically, that means I've actually gone less time without bathing than some human villagers. That's kinda fucktacular!
Aw, y'know… "Reminds me 'a how some monarchies in the outside world were like… the royalty were able to wash every other month, and I guess the peasants just washed twice their entire lives. Really made me think!" Made me think washing is both more and less important than society says it is…
"They sound super poor." Maria accuses 'em! I think it was mostly 'cause science hadn't really proven anything bad about being dirty, but at the same time they weren't super dead 'cause of not bathing for like two years. They had a ton of diseases, but they also didn't have medicine or any other form of modern cleanliness, so we can't shaft all 'a that onto the wonder 'a soap…
"We're here, by the way." Murasa announces! ...Yeah, we've just been staring at these nice curtains.
Hoh. "There's three doors, yo…"
She nods! "Mmm. Left is chicks, right is men, and middle is mixed." Mixed? Mixed, huh. Trail mix…
Reading our stares, she grins! "Yeah, mixed is usually an appointment 'er reservation type thing, these days. Byakuren 'n' her newest disciple are in there a lot!" Oh, good.
Aw. Y'know, that reminds me. I should ask kid commando if he remembers that guy he fucking shot in the face at the concert, now that that stuff is in my mind.
...Turning to me, Genkan goads me towards the boy's side! "There you go…" Here I go, dude. "Remember to use anything at all, this time." Ho ho ho…!
Fwish. She pushes me through the curtains, and here I am, dude.
...Man, this place is really dead at this hour! You'd think night equals hotsprings, and she said people liked the bath hot spring whatever shit goin' down here, but apparently not tonight!
Then again, these are like, the changing lockers. Wait…
Closing my eyes, I kinda focus on my everythings like Miko told me. Freakin'... ah, shit, how'd it go again? Run mana through the limbs, and select the like, disjointed models of clothing… and then imagine what you wanna wear? Or, yeah, there's the panic button for an instant ass-backwards costume.
Wo- woah. I feel myself do the little floaty thing-
Fwi- click! Ho ho! I land again- and stumble…
I managed to insta-strip! I am now in the underwear, and unarmed. S'pretty good, dude. And- man, is it fucking cold! The big tub better be warm or shit!
...The hell do I do with my undies, anyway? I've worn these for ten million years and not even changing costumes has freakin' worked with them. If I'm gonna bathe, I'd like freakin'... something clean! Or, maybe I'll wash them with myself. How the hell do you dry shit without it gunkin' up…?
I step outta the curtain at the other end of the washroom of doom, and find the spring place. There's some rocks and stuff out here, and good, warm-looking water… in fact, there's a lotta rock viewing dividers around!
Ignorin' everything else, I romp up to a nice tiny pool!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====
The thought never crossed my mind, but… public bathing is kinda awkward, and weird. Being almost totally naked, even in front of just Genkan, feels really… I don't know.
At the very least, we're both in the same position.
...How do these locker things work, by the way? Oh, well. Maybe Genkan's got a good idea to hide our clothes. You know what, she could just freeze a locker shut, and then thaw it when we get out. No locking required.
I round one of the dividers of lockers, holding my clothes. Genkan steps out, and, um…
She's had a similar idea, holding onto her own clothing. "Ah. I was thinking, we could freeze them inside of a locker." Coming up to me, she takes mine for me. "Here we go." How- is she acting so natural…!? I- I've just been staring at her, instead of saying anything…
Genkan is… kind of hard to ignore, in general.
Fwash. She froze the locker's mechanism shut, leaving the clothing trapped. "There. Now…"
Her skin is really white. It's a healthy red in some places, but in the I guess less-abradable parts of the body, the blood beneath the skin is still blue-ish. And- wow…
"Hmm?" Genkan tilts her head at me. "Maria?"
"Ye- yeah?" Um- yeah, hi…
"...You spaced out." She continues to move ahead, towards the other curtain of the room. "And, you looked like you had something to say."
"N- no, I was just-... thinking, of the water." Yeah, um, mmm. Let's… not say I was staring her over. I've seen some humans with her proportions… which, makes me wonder how someone gets so-...
Fwish. We enter the warm air of the rocky spring area, by brushing aside some curtains…
"Mmh." Genkan immediately pouts her lips. "How muggy." Really? Despite the heat, the air feels weirdly clear, to me…
She pans in my direction, and- even with her towel, those breasts are- "Let's try~..." Ah. She found a spot.
In here, there's some other girls. One looks like a bunny, and there are some other sorta medium-sized girls in the main spring, chatting together. Is one of them a cat girl?
We ignore them, moving to this rock-shielded cropping of water.
"I'm reminded of the times I bathed in ice water, with my sisters." Genkan makes some chat with me, looking down at the water dubiously… "This water, however…"
Bending down, she seems to poke her foot into it- "Ow- ow…" Then, she jerks it back.
sss. The water itself steams a little. Oh, wow!
"Um…" How hot is it? I poke my foot in- aah. That's-... hot. Not enough to sizzle me, though. Um…
"While I may be able to contend with warmth, water this warm is very, very draining…" She, for some reason, glowers at the water… "Maria. Would you be fine, if it was a little more… lukewarm?"
Honestly, yeah, this'll take serious getting used to otherwise. I mean-... that's half the appeal, that the heat works through your muscles, but it's not like I use mine a lot, anyway. I'm sure it'll be plenty warm. "Sure."
fwash. Holding her arms out, Genkan made a chunk of ice in the middle of the outlying pool here-
KRACK! Oh- god! It exploded into chunks, really loudly!
"Holy~ shit!" One of the girls in the main water literally jumped out of it! "Wh- aa~h!"
Splash! She landed, again. "Wha- auuh!" Oh- no! Pft- wh- what happened to her!? I couldn't see, with the rocks in the way…!
...Genkan had a hand over her mouth. "Maybe… I should do it more gradually."
"Ye- yeah…!" Geez. Actually… hmmh. I left my staff collection back inside. Maybe there's a stick nearby, or, whatever. So much for helping Genkan do this.
fwoo~sh. Slowly, Genkan blows what seems like cold air, onto the top of the water. Ooh, that's gonna make it cold really quickly…
The lights in here are dim, and nice. I should grab a bucket from nearby, too.
After so long, this vague heat in the air is so good to be in. Especially compared to how cold it is, outside. Genkan would probably rather run around in the nude than be in here, but…
Let's try to get into the clear water, again.
I poke my foot in. It's-... huh.
I'm able to slip down into the small enclave in the water real nicely. Just- nn- nnh… wo- wow… "Yea~h…" That's- good...
...After giving me a stare, Genkan tries the water herself.
"Nn-..." She seems to bear her teeth at first, before slipping further in. "This is-..."
Sitting on the ledging next to the rest of the water, she lets out a sigh. "It's okay. It's… really, really draining. I'll get weak, if I get submerged in this… and, I don't like feeling weak."
"How weak are we talking…?" I wonder. "If it's like, human-level, that would probably be fine, if it's temporary…"
She shook her head. "I'm not risking it."
fwi- fwi- fwi~sh. Uum. The water's cooling even further, near her feet.
Once this pocket of it just barely has any warmth left, she finally lets herself slip in.
ploop. "Aa~h." Now she's happy. "There we go. That shouldn't mess with me, or… my internal heat. Just a little outside warmth, is actually… pretty fine."
This is almost lukewarm. Good thing the air's still hot.
...Wading near a wet passage towards a different span of rocks, I find it's way warmer! Like- aah, let's go back…! "The- the rest of the spring's still hot."
She smiles at me. "As long as I have mana, this area will remain suitable. I've forgotten how pleasant it is, to simply bathe in water. Perhaps I've confused the clumsiness of general moisture with the feeling of cleansing the body…"
Lying back, she sinks a little. "This isn't so bad, after all…"
...I've still got this bucket. It's wooden, and round.
When she's in this clear water, I can see a lot more of her. She's especially hard to ignore, now...
"Maria." She looks at me. "We should start washing." Um…
"Washing, hu- huh…" Hmm? Maybe we'll scrub each other's backs, or something. That'll be nice.
"Come here." O- oh, god…
I do as she says, and get closer. The water's closer to medium as I get near her, which is kinda weird feeling, but…
Aah. She's got a hair brush. "Let me see your hair."
Turning around, I let her see my hair… this is the second time today I'm letting someone just- oo~h…
I close my eyes, as Genkan starts brushing me. "I think I'll miss bathing with my sisters. But, experiences like this, especially in their possible frequency, make up for it…"
"Uh- uhm…" This is gonna make me sleepy, again. "What-... do you mean?"
The air, combined with the water-... I've never had a bath like this before.
"It may be known, how active us yuki-onna are…" Genkan speaks… "We act primarily in the snow storms, during winter. Very rarely, do we bother to speak or touch base, as it were, when it does not snow. To leave my cave and seek recreation with humans, of all things… it's essentially unheard of, outside of a few select individuals. Take Whiterock, for example…"
Her voice combined with the bubbling water, and the white noise of the other girls, and everything else… is pretty hypnotic.
"When we do act, we did spend days together at a time." Genkan continues to speak of her sisters. Well, 'sisters', I'm pretty sure. "We talked. But, our kind does not quite bring the same warmth to conversations, as I've seen in other species. Even the most boisterous you've met- Ichigo-yuki, she can become quite composed once she's normalized to a situation. I don't think humans ever quite socialize in the exact way we do, when we're left to our devices."
I'm-... I'm dizzy, and it feels good…
"Yet, I've had thirty years of cognisant time to perfectly connect with my local sisters." Genkan reflects… "I wouldn't mind spending more time with them, but… we're also not the kind to forge complicated social webs. I knew Shimokoa, I knew Ichigo-yuki, and I knew a few others, but that ends there. Then there is Whiterock, who all yuki-onna of the area know. Of these I know, I've not often even left my own cave, except for when snow occurs. And, the one time I did in years…"
That-... sorta makes me think. Which is surprising, because-... thinking is getting hard…
"Awu~h…" I- I wanted to ask two questions at once, and just kinda made a dumb noise…
Genkan snorts. "Mm? Are you flustered, from just this?" Wh- what do you mean, 'just this'!? "...I'd consented the idea that Brad is surprisingly inept when it comes to matters of social care and affection, but you?"
"I- I'm sixteen…" I've had all of a few years to even care about that kinda thing, and so far, I haven't…!
"...Brad's age isn't actually known to us, is it?" Genkan reflected. "We should ask."
He's probably twenty something… I think. Older than me, at least.
"So." Let's actually ask my questions. "What happened-... when you went out, for the first time in years?"
...Genkan took pause, as if not expecting me to ask anything. Which, she wasn't, I think. "Some… villager boy, irritated me. He deemed me a barbarian, and a murderer, insulting me. I stole his lover, and let him live. If he wanted to prove one of us a murderer, he would first have to prove his own hypocrisy. If he had killed me, his lover would have been unrecoverable."
That's-... actually pretty dark. "How'd that go…?"
"He brought a hunting party after me, too cowardly to face me alone." She revealed. "...That's when I met Brad, actually."
Wait, what. "How. Was he part of the raiding party…?"
"Yes." I kinda felt like Genkan nodded, there. "And, ironically, the only one prepared to fight me. Or, rather, withstand me at the very least. I was ready to, after demonstrating the boy's hypocrisy, kill him and his fools. Which, some may view as hypocritical… but I'd felt it justified."
...I mean, if you're outing a guy as a murderer and then killing him… I don't have anything against that, but it pretty much is hypocritical. Not that that has to be- wait, why was he a murderer again…!? Who'd he kill!?
"Who did the boy kill?" Was it someone close to her?
...Genkan stopped brushing for a moment, before continuing. "Well. He was part of mankind. And, mankind had taken from my sisters… so, therefore…"
Are- are-... are you serious? Woah. "Genkan, that's messed up."
"Well- I know that now…!" She's actually sort of defensive! "...We're getting to the part where I learned that."
Okay, good. You're too smart to be homiciding people for reasons that dumb. I-... if I wanted to kill someone… it'd be because they did something I view as equal, to me. Or, maybe worse.
"I had the tools in place to completely destroy the boy and his men. But, what was especially frustrating… was the fact that Brad just so happened to be wearing his ice-immunity gear, therefore, nothing I had worked, at all." Genkan explained, um… wow. "So, to make sure that didn't happen again- and because he particularly annoyed me, I picked him up, and took him back to the cave. I'd um, therefore kidnapped both the boy's lover and his best conscript." Now it's gotten a little silly…!
"Since Brad's still alive, I guess he was a tough nut to crack?" I'm gonna assume she beat him up, or something…
"...That could be said, I suppose." Genkan compromised. "It was more of a verbal brawl, however. He basically told me that I was being stupid, and humans weren't all bad, but were still pretty bad as a whole. It probably could be summarized more elegantly, as 'everyone's just a person'."
Yeah. I'm-... surprised Brad talked down Genkan, of all people. I guess I'd have to see it to really know, though. He does have his moments, where he just starts really going on about something that isn't just blunt or funny.
I just realized, where the heck did Hana go. She was behind us, at some point!
spli~sh. Ge- aa~h. Genkan-... poured some warm water, down my back. "Now, to scrub your back." Wh- what…!?
Oh- oh, geez. I-... I wanna climb into a bed. Except not, because then I wouldn't be in this warm water. I'm done…
"You're getting tired, somehow." No duh, Genkan. You're melting me, here… "There is a method of scrubbing my sisters and I have used on one another, whenever we grow… loafish, while bathing." Hmm…? "I could scrub your stomach, if you want." Um…
"That's- a little past normal, I think…" I'm not sure about that… "Do- does anyone do that?"
"Me." Oh- well, yeah- "Well, come here…" Um-...
She brings me towards her, and I just… I end up lying back in her lap, my body rested in hers, sort of. I can feel her-... her breasts, on my back.
Like this, she's able to bring her arm around me, and- the brush begins to caress my stomach. Wow, that feels-...
I guess… this is normal enough for me. I let myself sink into her. "Ha- a-... ha~h…" Oh my god.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Maria's body is small, compared to most people's. She goes lax on me, letting me scrub her as I desire.
It reminds me a lot of Ichigo-yuki's, except a little more… human, in proportion, which makes it especially precious. It's very cute. Brad's almost equally small but leaner body is also cute in its own respects, but nothing quite matches the purely cute qualities of a petite woman.
Although, one thing that's always thrown me off, is I've always only seemed to have luck with the fairer sex. Probably because I've hated humans for so long… and, while there are token snow men, they are perhaps colder than we are, and their sights are purely set on human woman.
I dread to think what one would do, if they met Maria. I bring a separate, soft wet cloth up, and bring it across Maria's chest, while she zones out. "Nn- nnh…"
If there's anything seeing Brad at night has told me, it's that a male chest, or torso itself, bears many similarities to a female's, but also key differences. He doesn't have any hair there, but there is more natural rigidity, despite him being the furthest thing from athletic.
Also, no breasts, for hopefully obvious reasons. Along his face, I did see the foundations of facial hair developing, so… that will be interesting.
Um. In all my thinking, I've nearly sent Maria into a stimulation-induced sleep. She's just lazily blinking up at the dim torchlight above, fully submitting to my lap and arms.
We still have some night to burn, and her falling asleep here would be weird to work around. At least, getting her into the mood to sleep later should be no problem. "Hey."
"Mm- mmh…?" I rouse her from her pleased trance. "Wh- what's… up?"
"It's your turn." I want to see where this goes. "You may scrub me."
This wakes her up. "I, I-... whah."
Looking around, she realizes she's snugly fixed into my lap, as I release my arms from around her. She's very warm looking. "I- uhm, if you want…"
My hair is naturally already very tame, so if she wishes to brush it, it should be no problem. Brad's hair is something that definitely needs only the most varied of touches. It was a good thing that Mamizou had those combs that did untangling for us, because I don't think the hair of my sisters has trained me for a rat nation like the one he was carrying around…
I let Maria prop herself on a nearby, raised rock, and I position myself so she can access me better.
...Ah, there. She's begun brushing.
"...Your- your hair is so smooth." She's pretty jittery, right now. I'd be interested in hearing more about her now, but I don't think she'll take the hint on her own.
"I'd like to hear about you." This makes me wonder how hard it's going to be to get some stories from Brad's life. "Since, I've already talked quite awhile about myself…"
"Aah. Alright. Well…" She's still pretty scatterbrained…!
What could she talk about. Hmm.
"Do you have any siblings?" I ask her.
"...No." Hmm. "I'm-... an only child." Well… I suppose I can't offer a contrasting experience. Well, actually…
"As a child, my mother taught me most of what I know today." I've never really felt the urge to speak of my mother. She had left me to my devices when I was ten years of age. "I respect her."
"...That's a funny way of saying you love your mom." Maria states. Her brushing does feel good…
"Love?" Hmm… "I did share familial love with her. But, there was little time to bond, as you might imagine. I met her some years ago, and we ate food and had tea together. She wanted me to be independent, as is a common standard among us."
"I couldn't imagine my mother just leaving me somewhere." Maria shook her head at that… "Why would your mother do that? Besides the 'independence' thing."
"I'm one of the luckier ones." I express to her. "Many youkai just suddenly generate somewhere, with no family to speak of."
...That seems to quell discussion, which is actually the opposite of what I was looking for. I'm smart and good at this.
"Youkai are often more animalistic." I guess I'll carry the conversation a little longer myself. "And it is better for both of our survivals that I find the ways to feed myself. We are not a species who may survive in tight-knit groups."
That sort of contradicts an earlier ambition of mine… but, if us snow people wished to unite, we would need some method to harvest heat from humans.
Or, some way to just make our life energy, but there is not a solution so easy.
"Then again…" Maria's actually speaking… "Nevermind." Ah.
"Should I pry?" It's my only lead for a talk.
"...Well. I don't have my mother with me, anymore." ...Perhaps digging through Maria's past isn't a terrific idea. "So, maybe I can sympathize a little…"
"Maria." Let's not dwell on such things. "You don't have to look back, if you don't want to. It's my fault for asking."
She denies me. "Nn- no, it's not."
...In retrospect, I should have remembered. At the same time… I wonder about human lives. They're far less elegant than us- or, well, me, but also… very active.
After she's brushed my hair enough, she brings up the scrubber brush. "...I- I'm ready to do your back, now!" For some reason, she sounds eager about it…
She begins, the fibers of it making contact. Aa~h. That feels nice…
I suppose, seeing humans interact with one another has always been better than directly asking them. Both their violent and horrible respects, but also their kind and savory ones.
Also, their literature. The Ninjas of Love series has been illuminating.
"He- hey, Genkan…" Maria speaks up again…? "Ca- can I, um… wa- wash, your stomach?" Ah. Ah.
...Turnabout is fair play, afterall. "Sure." I'm interested to see her attempt it. "Would you like me to sit between your legs?" If I sat on them, she'd get smushed.
"Ye- yeah." She agrees. So, once she casts her legs out, I let myself drift closer to her in the water…
There. Her legs wrap around me. They're so thin, and smooth...
She sort of hugs around me around to see my skin, and ends up pressing her head to my side, having to look beneath one of my breasts. "Wo- wow…" I can feel her cheek against my skin, and her forehead and hair against the breast. It's surprisingly daring, of her.
"Hmm?" At this point, what she's marveling over is no secret, but I'm still going to be suspicious just to create the illusion that I don't know.
"O- oh, umm… nothing." She continues to play innocent, as she starts scrubbing. "Just… your skin, is also… really smooth." You'd be surprised, Maria. Once you'd de-dirtted yourself, your skin was quite soft, as well.
When the scrubbing begins, her legs mingle with mine, despite how together they are, and her left hand travels up my side. Hopefully she doesn't drive herself crazy, at this rate. I think I've successfully enticed her.
Aa~h. Regardless, the scrubbing is satisfying. Whenever this situation happens with me or my sisters, it's almost a formal yet affectionate exchange. It seems this kind of thing just turns humans into a lustful maelstrom. To think it's made Maria of all people this displaced...
I let out a sigh, because her imprecise scrubbing still feels nice. I wonder if she'll be brave enough to try and caress my breasts. I'm not sure if she even really noticed my run my hand over hers, but they were modest enough for me to use just one hand. Mine… will probably have her hands full, to be certain.
We've been in here awhile, so perhaps I'll just… "Maria. Would you mind giving my chest a once over?"
"A- ah…!" Too assertive? "Ye- sure…!" Ah. Apparently not…
Taking the softer cloth, she reaches her hands around me and-...
There's that full feeling. It's been too long, since I've had this happen. They feel so full, almost immediately.
"Thank you." Now, to just let myself drift…
I wonder how Brad's doing.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Aaa~h, aaa~h!
I wade away from the freakin' disco ball, in the half-flooded hot spring room thing…!
Sploosh. Ah. It stopped… it rolled from just, the slot I freed it from, and then got stuck against the other corner of the room.
Alright. So, freakin'... some shit went down, but everything's still good, dude!
"Woa~h!" Ha-chan is in here, and fully clothed, but soaking wet. "So bi~g!"
So, here's the story! Basically: I froze the fuckin' bottom of the hot spring, so now water can't leak out of the filter system, and apparently there's a whole fuckin reservoir hooked up to all these rooms, or something! I can't swim into them or do anything super retarded, 'cause I can't swim! But I know they're there!
Now, the room's slowly flooding. This is an okay thing, because we managed to lock the door, somehow. Ha-chan like, zapped a gear thing, and now there's wood in the way. It was mounted on the wall next to the door, so y'know…
And- the disco ball! Aw, I had Ha-chan float me up near the roof, and as it turns out, one of the upper left segments of wall was just fuckin' a doorway! And, we lifted it open, and she let go of me, and I had to wade away from the giant goddamn disco ball that rolled out it. It was fuckin' loud! I wonder if the others heard that shit…!
There are actually some guys in here, but they apparently don't give many shits. The disco ball thing kinda freaked them out, but they can all swim kinda, so they're just being idle right now. S'gonna be a shitstorm when someone wants out, though!
And now we're here! "U~h…" I'm also kind of awkward, 'cause Ha-chan just keeps touching me and bumpin' into me, and getting touched against my bare skin is kinda weird to feel…
So now the water's like, up to my waist along the outside of the spring. This was once dry land, but now it is shallows!
Ha-chan scrubs a sponge against my face. "He~re." I did actually make some good progress with some soap across my everythings. There's like, no conditioner here so I can't do anything about my fwoof, but if we find those magic hair brushes again, we should be able to gimme a good dead-president-styled hairdo for twenty minutes!
Getting close ta me again, Ha-chan looks down at my upper chest again. "Why are guys always flat?" Freakin'...!
The whole reason I half-flooded the place was 'cause I don't want her to freakin' molest me below the belt! And- the disco ball was actually a totally accidental find, 'cause I figured her carrying me around would keep her arms and attention busy, but instead we found pain and nightmares…
Euh. She touches my boob. "It's soft!" Stop- pokin' me! Freakin'...!
"What's wit' ya and touchin' me!?" But, yeah. I have flooded an entire goddamn hot spring spa room because I am socially awkward. I think I deserve some kind of medal.
...Idly, I take a washcloth to my neck, and give it a good scrub! Almost fergot about that shit! Yeah- I can still wash myself while all 'a this shit happens!
"Mwu." Aa- holy shit Ha-chan. She just kissed my tit…! "Hehehe! Your face is getting red!" Je~sus…!
splish- splish- splish. This little green-haired fella swims up to us, and then walks along the shallows… "Hey, fella." Whah.
Hello, generic monk with glasses. "Hi."
"S'there any way fer us to get out?" Uh oh. Big trouble…! "'Cause, uuh…"
"You know Brad-kun…" Ha-chan, what the frik do ya want… "You never answered my question!"
"Kissing does not exist!" I remind her! "And you!" I point at the boy! "Are stuck here forever."
...He shook his head. "Nope." Oh.
Actually, I've got an idea… oh, dude!
I start to wade past the disco ball, to the wall that leads into the mixed bathing! "Oh- I know! I'll just drain all 'a this shit, then we can open the door… without flooding the rest 'a the goddamn temple."
Green-glasses-mc-asses wades up along with me, as I announce my idea. "Uh- y'know, Rekuseusu could just, let himself sink, and smash the ice at the bottom…"
...I stare at him bluntly. "Who the fuck is Rekarekareka."
He points to that other guy in here who can't swim. Oh, right, the absolutely fucking ripped guy, who's also six feet tall. It's pretty amazing that he also can't swim!
The guy just glares back at us!
"Well- you can do that too." More help the merrier! This place'll take awhile to drain right! "Lemme just…"
So I come up to the fragile lookin' dividing wall. Man, dude. I guess we don't need this, anymore…
Fwi- click! After I focus for a moment, I've got the Bee-Fitty Fore Bawmber out!
Oh, wait, I don't even gotta whack the wall! Takin' some steps back, I hold the weapon up, and ready myself…!
pap- pap- pap! I fire the NERF darts! And-...
I aimed wrong, and they ended up in the water, just kinda floating there. Uh oh. Um… are those still live, too? I don't wanna find out! That's some spooky shit! Wait…
pap! Aiming the hanger a bit higher up, I fire. It meets the wall, and-
Boom- BoomBoomBoo~m! All the darts explode at once, and- water in my face!
Fwii~sh! Some water starts pourin' out through the hole in the wall, but not a lot!
"Wh- dude…" The green-haired boy looks at me like I'm retarded! "Who do you think has to fix that…!?"
Wahaha~! Aw, dude! That's it, we need a bigger gap! Skipping through the water, I come to the wall, swing my hanger back like a freakin' golf club, and swing-
fwuu~sh! Wahaha~! My strike against the wall made an explosion that just forced me to bounce up, offa' my feet, and onto my- uh oh
Sploo~sh. I sink beneath my eyes and immediately freak the fuck out holy shit water-
Spla~sh! "Pftuh- agh, ge- geheheez!" Ugh, now it's in my eyes again…! I didn't even make a fuckin' extra hole, 'cause water physics suck! Awwh…
"Nnh." And then Ha-chan bumps her freakin' wet body against mine. "I really wanna snuggle…" Wh- we're wet- aaa~h! More accurately, she's wet!
Cla- cla- clack. Wait. Oh, fuck.
Our plans are for not, for someone undoes the weird lock mechanism on the door from the outside. Oh shit-
FWII~SH! Wahaha~! Oh, no~! There it all goes, dude! All the water!
"What the fuck!" Stormy runs from the door! "Fh- shit- aauugh!" Ho ho ho ho~!
"It'sa club Sunshine fever, du~de!" I begin marchin' across the depleting water! An' holy shit, this tide is dangerous! Walkin' across it is weird! "I've enacted my revenge, fer the flood incident, Stormy! C'mere son!"
As I march fer the door, I see him stand up, his pants all soaked, now! "You- you goddamned fairy-fucker! That's not even mixed- rgh…!" Lookin' down, he gets all hung up over his soaked robes!
Spli- splish, splish! Marchin' outta the spring in my undies, I leer down at 'em! "How's it goin', dude!?" Long time no see, son!
Oh, shit, he springs to his feet! "I- I am going to fucking strangle you!" Aaa~h! Oh- shit!
He fuckin' hobbles after me, and I run past one 'a the dividers-
Splash! He slips onta his ass! "Fu~ck!" Woaa~h, dude!
"Son- there're children here!" I call back ta him, as I run fer the front hallway!
Aw. There's a stream goin' outside, dude. Oh, fuck- as long as the bottom of that spring is locked up, this thing's gonna just keep goin'...! Like- not just a stream, but a whole layer of water is flowing out into the hall, and it just keeps going!
Fwi- click. After shuttin' my eyes fer a moment, I exchanged my bomb hanger for Lion's Lindworm-
Woosh! Wh- woah!? The moment I equipped it, my arm fuckin' lashed out and did a dinky swing with it…
Spli- spli- splish! Runnin' on out here, Stormy raised his dukes! "Look at this shit! That- I polished this floor, you fucking dick!" Oh, shit, now it's personal, dude!
"Son- are ya sure about this!?" I feel like he might kick my ass, for some reason, but I might also deserve it!
"Yes!" Oohp- then he runs at me…!
Comin' up to me in his shoes like a freakin' speed man, he flicks an arm at me-
Whap! Ow- woah! The side of his palm hit my chest, and it had some fuckin' force-
Splash! Falling backwards was enough to get away from the rest of his flail-esque martial arts shit. When'd he learn kung-fu!?
"Ergh!" He tries ta stomp for me, but as I fall back, I hit my ass on the ground so hard I fuckin' rebound, and it's easier to stand back up! Well- I use a hand to help that actually work, but holy shit…!
SPLASH! His foot hits the flowin' water below me, and I flick my own stick-like arm up, right arm swingin' left…!
THINK! Wh- ow! That was nothing hitting me, but me hitting him! The sound of my hanger's edge hitting his cheek was just, ooh… "Rngh- fhuck…"
WHACK! I swung it up wide to the right now, and it fuckin' stroked past his face itself again, clipping his nose… "Agh- kah…" He looks like he's about ta fall over, but…
Reelin' my hanger back with one hand, I raise a leg all baseball man style, and fuckin' shwing at the boy-
DI~NG! Oo~h- damn! Did you fuckin' hear that!? That was the sound of the thing just- I even completed that swing, it didn't even rebound off his skull!
"Hgh- augh- aa~h!" Ho- hahaha~! Oh my god! Dude- he just flew away! And- oh man, it looks like he's just sliding along the ceiling! Is this- air-toss status!? Hahaha~! Oh man, I'm… I'm going to hell dude. I've committed assault…!
"Pft- hahaha~!" I laugh aloud! "Oh- oh, no! Shi- shit…!" He's just like- fuckin' spiralling down the hall, through the air…
Damn. Shou's combo thing was like-... that was fucking effective! Poor fuckin' Stormy, dude. The guy even looked like he knew kung-fu, now! Didn't help!
...I look down at the flowing water, and, uh… wow. Um…
Kyouko walks out of the girl's room, fully dressed. "What the heck's happen- um, oh no...?" She gazes down at the water in worry…!
An' then she sees me. Nine-tenths naked, holding a plant hanger with both hands-
"Unh." -as Ha-chan wraps an arm around me. "You got away from me…" Wat.
...Kyouko just lets her brows raise! "Wh- what… the fuck." He~hehe! I am growing stronge~r!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Now that we are all dressed, we are seated around a kotatsu…
"Brad." Genkan looks over at me, her gaze surprisingly warm. "Someday, you should experience the pleasure of being washed by someone. It's truly something…"
"Incredible…" Maria just looks wasted, however!
Kyouko looks alarmed. This look has not left her face in awhile!
Stormy's cheeks have bandages on them…! He's not said anything yet, he's just glared me down!
"...Why was everything flooded, however?" Genkan was fluffily all curious-like… "Did a pipe burst, somewhere?"
Stormy let out a huff. "...You could fucking say that, couldn't you?" Wahaha!
Ma~n. That was some crazy shit, dude. Also, what's with Genkan and Maria bein' all about rub-downs? Oo~h. Maybe they touched each other, dude! If only, yo. Our party is too tight-knit for those kindsa antics! Then again, we do sleep on one another, sometimes…
I turn ta Genkan. "Whaddaya suggestin' here…?" It's a bit odd for her to just bring that up!
...Maria gains some kinda freakin' smirk. "Yea~h. Genkan, would you wash Brad?" Woah!
Genkan's eyes just widen…! "You've betrayed me. Well-... we'll see." Um…!?
"I didn't know that kinda stuff happened in hot springs…" Kyouko just shook her head…!
Stormy glares at Genkan! "If you even think about it, I will punch you."
...Genkan gives him a flat stare. "You'd punch a woman, would you? How crude."
Maria just shakes her head at 'em. "Guy- we could like- nevermind…" Maria's freakin' bold tonight, dude!
"Yes. Yes I would." Stormy's also pretty bold, but this is normal! "This monkey fuck needs to be drowned." He points at me!
"How about I drown you?" All of a sudden, tensions have risen! Genkan's ready to soak a boy! "Foolish human-"
"And so we fly ever free~!" Kyouko starts yelling to make us shut up!
Ha-chan continues the lyrics herself! "So free~, before the thunderstorm!" Holy shit, she remembered that…? I guess fairies like music, dude.
Aw, let's keep goin'! I continue too! "On towards the wilderness, our quest carries on!"
An' then Kyouko! "So far beyond the sundo~wn!"
"So far beyond the moo~nlight!" Yeah, fairy!
"Deep inside our hearts and all our so~uls!" I remember the words, but not the rhythm…
Standin' up, Kyouko sings out! "So far awa~y, we wait for the da- a~y! For all the lives, all so wasted and gone! We feel the pain, of a lifetime lost in a thousand days, through the fire and the flames we carry o~n!"
...Mission successful. Conversation has been silenced!
Stormy looks pleasantly surprised. Aw… "I didn't know you knew that song…" He looks over at Kyouko curiously!
She grins down at 'em! "You never found out, 'cause you didn't go with us to our band stuff, you idiot."
He jerks his head back! "Well- if I knew you were playing Dragonforce and not church hymns, I would have been more inclined…!"
This has been a good day, dude. We beat Miko at Hexagon Havoc, we flooded a hot spring, Genkan and Maria may have touched each other inappropriately, and I learned how to hit good with a plant hanger. We also made multi-million yen and became millionaires overnight, and suddenly got massive boosts to our attack options. Dude- you can't make this shit up!
"You kno~w…" Maria's just a little devil all of a sudden! "You guys should book mixed bathing, tomorrow…"
"Be quiet, you…!" Genkan actually shushes her! "You'll give us a heart attack."
"When'd all 'a this come about…!?" The universe is encroaching upon me, dude…!
Crea~k. Oo~h. The sliding door freakin' creaked, when someone used it.
...Oh, shit! It's Byakuren! An' also, her pal boy…
Stormy's gaze shoots up ta her! "Oh, hey! Are you here about the flooding? Because I know who did it!"
She shook her head! "Hmm? Oh, that was already clea~ned." Already…? Someone here works fast! "Hello, everyone."
Freakin'... kid commissar, dude. Ho~h…
There's not much room, so some noobs shuffle to free up a side. This place needs pentagonal kotatsus, at this rate. We need a kotatsu round table! Although, this is a long kotatsu, which was how Maria an' Stormy were able to use the same side while being as far as possible away from one another…!
So now there's room fer Byakuren and her son- I mean, the boy she stole from life.
Freakin' kid commando, dude.
Y'know what. "Yo. Kid commando." I point at 'em!
...He looks up at me!
"Don't heckle him, now." Byakure~n.
"Relax." Ooh. Genkan actually defends me just as hastily! "...I trust Brad plans on asking him something important." She locks eyes with me!
Alright, fine, yo… "What's yer actual name?" So we can stop calling you freakin' a commissar! You lost that title when you lost your virginity to fairy girls!
...Aw. He inhales. "Kei Samuru." Huh. "My full name-... is Kei Samuru."
"And, it's quite a lovely name." Byakuren, yer bein' freakin' one-sided right now…!
Samuru. Sounds like Samurai, dude!
"Samuru…?" Maria pauses at that, actually?
Stormy snorts. "As lovely as any other name, I'm sure…" You said everything and nothing at once, son. Oof.
"That's-..." Maria looks at 'em! "You were a few years lower than me." Hoh, shit!
Kid commi- Kei looks at 'er, in surprise!
"You're-..." She's got both brows raised! "You're the son of the last village chief. The one who died." ...Wat.
...Byakuren's just kinda paused!
"What?" Stormy doesn't give any shits, though. "Is that a joke…?"
Kyouko dunno wha's goin' on, dude… "Huh?"
Kei just freakin' stares at Maria, before botherin' to reply. "...Well. Congratulations, I suppose. For-... for someone who actually knows who I am. Kaugh…" He coughed, fer some reason! "I- I mean…" Uuh.
"You're-..." Byakuren gave him a vague look! "Right. You're one of the ex-captains. I didn't know you were his son, however…"
"That-..." Oh, man. When he's not doing his official man impression, his voice is way less defined. "That seems t'be a trend…" Wow. Grand man to shota boy! What the fuck!
"I'm so sorry." Lifting him up, Byakuren seems to put 'em on her lap! "You could have told me, you know…"
"Wh- would it matter…?" Kei just kinda tiredly looks up at her! "I- I didn't want it known. Not anymore. The village… it is cursed." S'that so, son…
"Cursed?" Byakuren takes that literally! "How would you mean?"
"As a place to live, an'-... and do stuff at." He shook his head. "There is nothing but ruin, there."
All concerned, Byakuren brings her face closer to his. "How so? We can work to fix it."
His head shook harder! "Don't try. You see how it ends." Hoh, shit…! "There-... there are youkai, far more powerful than any of us. There isn't a point, in trying…"
...Byakuren almost looks challenged! "Well, perhaps… but power doesn't always equal wit, strategy or skill."
"I'll-... I will say no more." He stared down at the kotatsu. "Do as you always do…"
...Hoh. She just kinda hugs 'em.
I look at Genkan, an' she looks at me!
"What kind of youkai?" Maria decides to press outta curiosity. "If you mean this purple little girl with tendril things, we kinda already knew that…"
Ooh. He shook his head. "N- no. She's-... she is terrible, yes. But, I've read of the youkai that came before. The kind we don't see anymore. Before I came here, I was shown them."
"Where the hell'd that be?" I'm gonna guess the Patchy library, or somethin'...
He looks over at me, then just kinda shakes his head again. Son, it'd be nice if you told us…!
"Gensokyo…" Genkan considers aloud, "has become way safer, in recent years. I'm pretty sure I know the kinds of youkai you speak of."
Kei's eyes glare, and he meets Genkan's calm stare. "And- what are you?"
"Yuki-onna." Genkan is calm and fluffy… like snow, dude. "Truly deceptive types used to be far more common, weren't they? It was the big reason I was coddled by my mother, for so long. In recent days, snow children are fit for solo endeavors as soon as five years, now that they do not need as much caution." She was coddled for hoo whah, now? Also- five years? Deceptive types…!?
...Kei nods, seeming ta be okay with a yuki-onna's presence. "Even youkai, fear youkai? He- hehe…"
At that, Genkan continues herself! "Parasitic-types, hypnotic-types and trapping youkai were very common some years ago, before the era of the latest Hakurei maiden. It's one of the greater reasons the village is walled off, I assume… not that it isn't needed today. Even the most innocuous and regular assumptions about the environment, some years ago, would get you raped, killed, or… something else." Holy shit. So everything was just fuckin' metal some eons ago…
Her gaze centers on me, now! "Without heightened awareness, particularly magical or spiritual, death of an average human was usually a fair certainty. Now, there's a shop near the magic forest, and that witch even lives in there without a hitch. On a typical day, it's not the biggest risk to make a dash across the path before the Hakurei shrine. A- ah..." She stops 'erself! "Ta- talked, too long…" Wau. Her voice dried up, somehow!
"Ah." Byakuren looks over at Stormy. "Stormy~. Would you be a dear, and fetch us all some tea?"
"Bah, sure." He consents readily enough, gettin' on up. "You want it big black dick style, or sweet as a shota boy's bum?"
Byakuren freakin' gives him the stoic stare of death! "You know."
"Pfthuhu~!" What kinda laugh was that, Stormy. Did Kyouko put a dildo up your ass, son.
"Wouldn't you already know this?" Genkan furrowed her brows at Byakuren. "I'd imagine you familiar, with Gensokyo's history…"
She actually shakes her head! "The last time I was active here… was a long, long time ago. I was sealed in the earliest days before Gensokyo, and only recently unsealed. It's fortune, that Gensokyo was built here, and the Hakurei allocated greater attention to this area. Perhaps it would not have to have been so, had the humans not sealed me, hmm? Aah… I sell myself too high."
"What were the youkai like back then, then?" Dozin' over her history, Genkan puts forth her next question! "I know of the bodysnatchers of the previous era. What of then?"
"More of the same." Byakuren tilted her head about… "If, actually, more dispersed, and less violent. In that time, I met the friends you see today. Phantoms, beastial types, and otherwise. The deceptive types weren't so bad, when they weren't all in one place. Yet, they still struck hard, and people had every right to be paranoid, or purely of fear. Today, it's more nonsensical. Gensokyo is truly at its most peaceful." Wow.
S'a fuckin' lot to sink in! I'm glad I didn't get thrown inta the past like Samurai Jack! I woulda gotten fuckin' mulched by the sounds of it!
...At our collective silence, Byakuren adds a footnote! "Like as Yukari has planned it, of course." Whah.
"How." How the fuck do you plan a Gensokyo.
...She smiles at me! "All of the youkai you think, when you consider 'intimidating youkai' now, are… well, who do you consider? Tell me."
Uuh. "...Remilia! Yuyuko. Eirin! Yukari. Yuuka. You…!"
She snorted! "Me? Aaw. Well… that should go to show. And- Eirin's not exactly a youkai, you know. People may think of the gods when they think of powerful… however, that doesn't make them youkai. Perhaps it is the congregation of gods here, who also altogether keep the sinful types of old down. Through their mere presence, I mean."
Then, she raised a finger! "But, through the placement of all these powerhouses, there is very little wiggle room for the truly destructive, truly youkai beings. When fear and respect is paid to those who simply are powerful but don't act on it, the humanity here is placed somewhere safer, than when its fears are not unified."
She lets out a breath! "Bu~t… the theories this leads into from here are perhaps talk for another day. Isn't it getting late?" Aaw. I feel like ya can't get this shit offa' the Touhou Wiki… which makes it knowledge I need!
"But!" Before yer done, here! "What about Yuuka? Would ya call her 'truly youkai', then?"
Byakuren gives a big sagely nod, dude. "Well, yes. I am not to say those of power are not truly terrible or powerful in their own willing ways, but as such entities, not often are they still in versatile control of themselves. Say, when you think of the mansion, you think of how Remilia's decisions impact her residents. Or, of anyone, they have connections and personal standards, levels of humanity which, in a way, 'bind' them. Yuuka stands as an exception, one who has ascended to greater power." Jesus Christ, son…!
Genkan raise a question! "What of the doll named Medicine?"
Byakuren would have raised a brow, except she's Byakuren, so she don't do that! "Oh? You know of her?"
"I know she lives alone, but has no great power." Genkan regards 'er! "Provided, her beliefs towards homicide are… open-ended."
Byakuren nods! "Well. There is of course, more to power than societal and civility status. And, her power is uniquely terrifying enough of its own right. I believe what makes such beings terrible, is their capacity to ignore humane elements, of both other youkai, and humans themselves. It is easy for them to murder, if not effortless at times."
"Look at it this way…" Bringin' her hand up along her side, she held it up…
Fwoom. A purple fireball lit up in it, the center alight with some kinda black-white crystal shape! "My physical abilities are superhuman, and my magic sin in nature. This alone makes humans fear me. But, imagine if I were terrible. Imagine how much more feared I would be, if you didn't feel comfortable even being around me?"
I shake my head! "I don't feel comfortable being around you ta begin with!"
...She just kinda ignores that! "My point being, that the far extreme of being youkai is to be the furthest thing from human possible." How did we get into this discussion, again?
Let's freakin' recap! Basically, uu~h, there used to be lotsa old shitty rape youkai like the kind you find in bad porn doujins. Then, the big pussy destroyer youkai came to town, and everyone jerked off to them so hard, that they become the new big slut standard, and all the bad porn doujin monsters fucking died super hard.
...An' then Byakuren was just like, 'the worst youkai are the ones who don't care'. Which I can agree with, dude! So we tried to poke holes in her argument, by being annoying noobs, but she was like 'nope'.
The thing about the SDM is that it's like a big tank that rolls people over, compared to just Yuuka, who's like a freakin' force of nature that can smite whoever it pleases. Yer more afraid of the latter, even if the former is pretty bad too!
...Why's that relevant to the old doujin creature-features though? I guess 'cause like, they didn't have a huge impact. Maybe 'cause they fucking killed all their prey or bred them, instead of just scaring them, which seems to be the name of the game. Maybe this is just evolution taking its course, then! Maybe Gensokyo's size matters, too… oh man, that's a complicated-ass variable!
"Oo~h…" Too much thinking for tonight! "Alright, son, I get it! Youkai are big tanks that eat people!"
Byakuren actually looks ten percent more concerned! "That's-... well, if that's what you want to take away from this." Ho ho!
Y'know, maybe this is why all the youkai call humans dumb retards, and why whenever you ask them anything, they just go 'lol too complicated you won't understand'. 'Cause you gotta take a goddamn youkai-history college course just to understand all this bullshit!
"How much of that did you actually consume, Brad?" Genkan, no, don't make me recap again…!
"I spent the past ten minutes staring into space for a reason!" I tell 'er! "Basically, old evil youkai shat on by bigger youkai, big youkai are like tanks, only biggest and fluffiest vulvas get to indiscriminately shit on people anymore! Now the tru~e big guys are like political tanks that style on people, rather than end the world one at a time."
…
Byakuren nods! "A-... a little crude, and highly summary, but not entirely inaccurate."
"You have a colorful way with words." Genkan grills me, dude! "...You do seem all worn out, for tonight." 'Cause I am, yo… it's been awhile since I put the 'ol thinker to work, in a way that's not 'how do I whack this', 'how do I break this', or 'is there a secret in that asscrack of the world'...!
I lean into the kotatsu, and die. "Oof…"
"It is about that time…" Standin' up herself, Byakuren holds up the boy wit' 'er! "Let's get you to bed." This is the second time she's tried to escape!
And, she is unsuccessful, dude. "You're-..." Standin' up, Kyouko holds out a hand! Ta stop the noobs from escapin'... "Kei. I remember seeing you."
Pausin', Byakuren holds Kei outward. He looks over at her, and just stares.
"That guy, that you killed." She seems to have put all the pieces together, too! "At the concert."
Kei's face just kinda hardens. "Hmm…?"
"Did he have a family?" Oh, shit. Kyouko with the insights! "Do you know?"
Oh, man. There was that one freaked out girl, even if she wasn't family, I think. I kinda super remember that. I'm gonna assume he at least had some friend pals, who had to get the-... is there slang for familial death notices from the army? They got one of those…!
He's just kinda quiet, at that!
"Kyouko…" Byakuren's probably not the most pleased by this line 'a questions! "He regrets what he's done."
"I- I can tell that, but…" She lowers her head a little, and is real fluffy about it… "That wouldn't excuse it. Not to a family who doesn't even know."
"...Are you proposing he apologizes, to them?" Byakuren saw where she was goin' with this before I did!
Kyouko nods. "Yes. It'd only be right. I'm sure you can trace the village records, and find out, Byakuren. Especially since he's in your care now, and everything..."
...Byakuren just closes her eyes. Like- for real! "That is something I should do. If Kei feels apologizing would be appropriate, for him. What do you say?" Her question's posed when she gives a neutral gaze down at her boy toy…
They just kinda stare at one another, before Kei lets out a sigh. "Yes. I think… I'll do that. I'm not walking into any council offices. They'll kill me." Uuh…!?
Byakuren's somewhere between bemusement and amusement at that! "Kill you? It's the village. You wouldn't take the governing system there for a crime ring..."
"The- then you'd be naive…" Kei boy shook his head at 'er. "The records pro'lly say I'm already dead…"
Hoh. Yeah, the village is the good place, dude.
"I'll see what I can do about it, tomorrow." Byakuren gave us all a nod. "But, tonight, we rest."
"Thank you." Aw. Now Kyouko's smiling, yo…
Before wadin' on outta the room, Byakuren smiles back at her. "I admire your empathy, Kyouko-chan."
"A- aah." Kyouko reaches behind her own head, awkwardly scratching her fluff. "It just kind of, came to me, is all…"
While they do their stuff 'n' things, Genkan 'n' Maria begin ta get up too, so I just go wit' 'em!
"Byakuren was finally successful in escaping the dungeon!" I raise an arm in cheer! Ohp- I almost aggro'd her too, but she's in the mood ta jet super fast.
Genkan snorts! "That was a healthy discussion. It's likely the depth of the evening, now…" The depth of the evening. The night don't get late, it gets deep…!
"Yeah." Maria liked it, dude. "Today was really good. Oh- actually…" Stoppin', Maria jogs on over ta Byakuren! "Hey- about the mixed bathing reservations." Are ya like- serious about that!?
Byakuren just gives 'er a look…! "Aah. It's not in use often, and probably won't be tomorrow. If you wish to use it then, you may." We even got an actual answer…!
We still gotta weld some hangers together, before the night is up, maybe. Hopefully Shou's just been getting drunk on tea for the past five hours…!
"Before we try to fall over in a bed…" It's time to hope they accept this proposal! "I wanna see someone about welding plant hangers together!"
...Genkan nodded readily enough, dude. "Sure. If you can find anyone here who'd do such a thing."
Oh, boy. Yeah, yo. Maybe uh… I'd say Byakuren, but she just left with Kei!
"Shou." Stormy speaks up! "She knows all about weapons here."
As he stands up, I look over his monklyness! "Oh- yeah. I was just thinkin' about that, actually!" I did just freakin' think about Shou, before guessing Byakuren! I mean, Shou's all about fighting, but would she about crafting? Maybe so…
"No~ you fucking weren't." Son. "She makes weapons, you know. Or- if you had known that, she would have been your first guess."
"Why're ya tellin' me this anyway!?" Of anyone, you have the least reason to tell me! "I freakin' whomped ya!"
"'Cause I'm a buddhist." Holy shit! "I forgave your ass so hard you'll reincarnate as a rock in the next life." Buddhist gangsters are bad, dude! Is that how it works, even!?
"Perhaps we'll make good on her tea offer." Genkan considers! "...Actually, that would be preferable."
"Yeah…" Maria likes that idea, too! "I bet she'll have a kotatsu, too."
Ho ho~. Well then, yo. It seems we've got a course 'a action…
"See ya later, again." Kyouko gives us another wave! "I didn't really expect all of this to happen, but it was… cool, I think!"
"I'm going to bed." Stormy, however, was not enthused! "This fucking sucked."
...Kyouko gives 'em a look! "Aw, c'mo~n. Why's everyone so dismal, lately…!?"
Stormy up an' storms outta the room, an' Kyouko romps after him to catch up. This leaves us alone in indescribably empty kotatsu room number ten million. Hell- I just realized it, but the Hakurei Shrine's two rooms that aren't Reimu's bedroom, are also a fucking kitchen and a generic kotatsu room! What is it with people, dude!?
Genkan begins to float fluffily… "Let's go." Aw…!
Shoo~f. She opens the door out, behind Byakuren's trail, and Ha-chan's there. Her outfit's still soggy looking! "Hello again!" ...She was next to me earlier! What the fuck!
...Genkan looks back at me to check fer a moment! "How do you do that…?"
"I was free before the thunderstorm…" She gets closer to Genkan! "Hi.."
"What- hey…" Genkan was too surprised to prevent Ha-chan from displacing her. Yeah, dude!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Oh my god- the courtyard outside is fuckin' cold!
"Mmm…" Genkan looks somehow toasty, which is ironically the complete and total opposite of what we're lookin' like…! "Gorgeous evening."
"You- you know…" Holdin' herself even despite her own shirt, Maria looks ready to accelerate! "If she lives at the other side of the temple- let's just run over there…!"
I agree! "Yeah, yo!" Let's freakin' scoot it!
Runnin' across the temple ya~rd! Man- man, is it cold! But, after that bath, it feels like we can really book it, at least…!
The courtyard's not super big, so we're at the other side before we're even winded. Genkan cheated and floated along with us, and even opens the door into the temple's other side before we freakin' get there.
After we all on inside, Genkan joins us…
"You know…!" Ha-chan pipes up, with us! "Baths are fun!"
"They really are…" Maria agrees wit' 'er! "Where were you anyway, Hana? It seems like you got all wet..."
"Hehehe~!" Giggly fairy! "I took a bath!" Good. You've filled her in on all the details!
"Considering the state of disaster after we got out…" Genkan gives me an' Ha-chan a dubious look! "I suppose it's worth asking. Brad, what happened in the men's spring?"
Gay sex. Wait- no. "I flooded it."
...She blinks a few times! "You- what…? Oh. Oh, no. You really did, didn't you…!?" Wahaha~!
"I didn't even get in trouble for it!" I give 'er a big thumbs-up! "That was some good shit!"
Maria gives me a blunt stare! "Did you find any secrets in the process?"
I nod. "Yeah, actually. There was a giant deadly disco ball stored in one of the walls, and I let it free. It broke a fuckin' boulder…!" Like, Jesus, who the fuck put that there!? Stormy!? That- you know, maybe that makes sense…
"Every second we don't keep you on a leash, is a second this temple comes closer to collapse." Genkan fights a grin, before movin' forward! "Let's-... just find this weapon master of ours."
"I almost don't believe that." Maria just shakes 'er head! "But, I don't really feel like checking…"
Aw, yeah…!? "How much you wanna bet there's something hidden in the room we choose to sleep in?"
While we move, Maria also starts grinning! "If it's a disco ball of doom, I'll be mad." Man, those baths apparently did fucking black magic on our collective morale!
One of the kitchens here, right? I think that's where Shou'll be…
...Genkan leads us long enough to realize she dunno where she's going! "Where-... would we find her?"
"One-... of the kitchens." I don't either, but I've got a vague direction! "If she's still there…!"
There's a door ahead, dude. There are many doors ahead, but I get the weird feeling this is the central halling of the west 'a the temple, so…
I move ahead of our fun club, and slide it open.
Shoo~f. What's goin' on, yo…
Inside, there is a main coffee table, some fuckin' stoves… aw!
"Yo ho ho!" I found a Shou! If I'd guessed wrong and picked an unorthodox door, we woulda been in some other fuckin' galaxy!
She looks up from a book at our entry, and then her brows raise! "Oh…?"
We've returned from makin' a complete fuckin' mess! "Hi." Man, a lot has happened today. I wonder how late it is. "We've come to put plant hangers together, actually. Wait- can you put stuff together- like to, that is!?" I ruined it, son.
...She grins at me too! "You were born a poet, huh. But, yes, I do weapon smelting."
"Forgive him." Genkan comes up past me… "He's just… excited. He um… recently found a new plant hanger. Plant hanger guitar?" She gives me a pleading look!
"Yeah, dude." Reachin' into my bag, I take it out! "Lion's Lindworm." It's a guitar hanger! Shaped like a guitar! You- can't hang guitars on it. Actually, I dunno. It's not much of a hanger for plants anymore, is it!?
"Oh?" Shou gave it a look! "...Interesting weapon. It sort of reminds me of your last one. It was what inspired me to talk to you at all in the first place. Million Bucks, was it?" Did I even tell you the name of that…?
"Yeah, dude." I wonder what I wanna combine with the thing… I actually haven't thought that far ahead.
...Maria an' Genkan stalk fer the table itself. "You still have any tea…?" Maria questions 'er!
Shou took a moment, and got up. "Perhaps I'll brew some more. I've just been here reading, so…"
Hoh. "...How would ya go about welding plant hangers to one another?"
Stoppin' on the way to the stove, Shou just turns to me! "...Hmm. You know what? Let me make some tea, first. Then, I want you to follow me." Ooh.
So first, she goes ta make her tea 'n' stuff…
Shoo~f. I just sit at the table with my fluffy friends.
I wonder what Shou was readin', dude. Oh, she was reading Japanese. I'm glad, I suppose.
"Your hair… is extremely tame, right now." Genkan takes notice of me, dude! "Water really does a lot to it."
"Right?" Freakin', fwoof to noof, in woof…! Actually- maybe woof doesn't work as a timeframe… "Fwoof to noof, in woof…!"
"I-... I don't think rhymes work like that." Genkan destroys my attempted… something-ism, dude. "Was that rhyming?" Why's she smiling…!?
"It sounded good!" That was enough for me, dude. "Shoof." The sound chairs and sliding doors make, dude.
Click. Shou sets down our nice teas. "Here."
Even I get a cup, dude. It's warm 'n' stuff…
"Y'know." Lookin' up at Shou, I give 'er some news! "I tried that swing-the-hanger-around combo thing you showered me, on Stormy boy."
"...Why him?" Shou's a little offput, at that! "How'd that transpire?"
"It's a long story." Genkan summarizes…! "I think."
"He got very mad, and I hit him, and he stopped being so mad." I freakin' lie. "Well- he was still mad, but not mad enough to hit me! ...Maybe he was still that mad."
Shou shook her head regardless of my negotiating with the events! "...Has an aura about himself, doesn't he?" Stoppin' herself, she looked down at her tea. "Did you find it satisfactory, though?"
"I did, in fact. It was really good for what it was!" The air-toss status made it even better, but that's harder to explain!
"Is that so…" She just kinda gives me a smirk. "Would you mind stopping by the yard tomorrow, then? Assuming you won't be so fickle as to not spend the night here. Not to judge you… but you seem random enough to somehow relocate yourself across the land from here in no time flat, if you aren't bound by your interests." I mean…!
Genkan snorts. "Normally, perhaps. We seem to keep him in a human range, however."
"Brad." Shou speaks ta me. "Do you have an interest in learning about combat? For the form, and everything it would entail?"
The form? Hmm. I mean… yes and no? Actually, yeah. Knowing Gensokyo, at this point there's a whole fuckton of crazy bullshit that can be done if you just kinda focus on training yourself. Maybe I'd be a retard to turn down this kinda question!
"Yeah, actually." I let myself admit! "Getting not-dying skills has always been a thing 'a mine… and, right now, as ya know, I rely completely on my hangers ta give me skills an' shit."
"Mmm." She gave me a nod, and continued to drown her misery in tea…
"When I think about it…" Maria turns to me! "That does seem like a big weakness. If I took your bag from you, would I be able to hit you? Like- with just my hands, even?" I'm not sure about that, but maybe…!
Sliding her tea forward, Shou stood! "Let's find the temple forge. The rest of you may follow us, if you wish. And, on our way… you should probably consider the modifications you desire, Brad. I won't forge new weapons for you out of the blue like this, but I can do something so simple as welding, as it's no real cost. As long as you have the parts."
Oh, man. Time to consider some shit off screen, dude…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 91
Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Village Revolutionary, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles - Aw, Genkan gave me a summary! I can change elements, skills and resistances depending on the situation! Weaknesses vary…!
NON-EQUIP SKILLS:
Lucky Star - Non-elemental magic that does very random damage to one target. The star is summoned from above, and simply coasts into people.
Scent Pillow - A spell taught by Koakuma. The end-game strat, dude.
World's Wimpiest Fireball - A spell learned from a book given ta me by Patchouli. Not very good for anything…! May dry out targets.
Lumen - Low-grade holy spell that eats mana. Requires a source of holy to actually be cast. Homes in on an enemy and deals a burst of mediocre holy damage.
Double Jump - The good skill. Allows the user to completely cancel their falling momentum and jump again.
NERF Marauder Combo - A wimpy, back-and-forth slapping motion, one hand on the very bottom tip of a hanger's handle. Relies on the weapon itself to just bean a person's head! The way it works allows attacks to be chained together easier.
Longstrike - Combo finisher. Reeling the hanger back like a bat, Brad freakin' clubs a guy across the head with it! Or, tries to. Stagger and knockback potential!
INVENTORY:
= = ► EQUIPPED ITEMS:
WEAPON: Fallen Comrade
HEAD: Toyosatomimi's Earmuffs
TORSO: Toyosatomimi's Regalia
PANTS: [Toyosatomimi's Regalia]
SHOES: [Toyosatomimi's Regalia]
MISC ONE: Toyosatomimi's Cape
MISC TWO: MP Prize Badge
MISC THREE: None.
RESULTING STATUS:
50% darkness resistant
Morale - Survives lethal blows when over half health.
Brave - Resistant to crits, and crits more often.
200% Dispel resistant
100% Silencing resistant
Sound protection.
Moderately improved defense.
Extended prize grab radius.
MP Prizes drop.
= = ►[Bag of Holding] - The best piece of equipment…! It's good, dude! Infinite enough inventory space!
==o==
= ►WEAPONS:
Fallen Comrade - Giant hanger made of three smaller ones. Sharper Than Darkness is at the front edge of it with the sickle facing out, and Swordbreaker is along the broad front edge to engage blades. Hard Winter makes up the backbone of the thing and the hilt so that it's actually wieldy!
STATS:
Slightly debuffs target's physical attack on impact.
50% darkness resistance when wielded.
Attacks are darkness elemental.
Sickle end may make opponents bleed.
SKILLS:
Revenge - Skill that increases in strength when health is lower. Power doubles for each deceased party member. Power is increased by fifty percent for each defeated party member. Fairies count as defeated rather than deceased no matter what. Power and effects depend on current weapon. High accuracy.
Bloody Mess - User bleeds faster and longer. Oof!
Jack Hammer - Y'know, I have no idea if this still works with it as is…!
Generic Buff - Channeling mana into the hanger gives the user a marginal increase in physical stats. Moderate increase to physical defense and offense.
Pulse - Basic dark magic, which creates an influx of dark magic in an enemy's form and stresses their whole body. Reduces magic attack.
Gaia Seed - Basic earth magic which intensifies Earth's pull a little. May make targets slightly tired.
Gaia Bloom - Advanced earth magic, which intensifies Earth's pull, with multiple instances of hazy earth magic. Makes the target tired.
Tundra - Crate-sized spike of ice that erupts under people and throws them off balance. I suppose it'd hurt if you fell on it. Basic ice attack.
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, before initializing fully by flash-freezing the air all around them.
Combo Plus - User artificially gets an extra hit. Can be canceled out of.
Combo Jump - User cancels out of combos easily.
Frost Trail - User leaves frost in their trail while jumping.
=o=
Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! Boosts the power of holy skills.
SKILLS:
Flash - Blinding magic. Works best on dark-elementals, but also works on youkai. Humans don't resist it, so it still works on them, with reduced efficiency.
Flashlight - It's a flashlight! Might blind dark youkai, I dunno…
Shine - Basic holy magic. Generates a holy orb in the target's body, randomly battering them with a raw holy gush.
=o=
Fairy Harp - "A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. Some kind of non-elemental monstrocity with grates, blocks and strings slapped onto it for no good reason." Some of Genkan's summaries were kinda oof, dude…!
SKILLS:
Gust - Basic wind magic. Pushes the feeble. Fee~ble…!
Fairy Dust - Weapon status effect replaced with fairy dust. Wind attacks with this weapon get fairy dust all over the enemy, reducing accuracy and senses.
Sick Ill Harp Cords - Get ready for my next great mixtape…!
=o=
Red Scare - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of purplish-red gems and crimson metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Also's got the good NERF gun attached now!
STATS:
Danmaku confuses the target.
Danmaku degrades the target's luck.
Danmaku may berserk the target.
Ignites things with physical impacts.
May berserk targets on physical impact.
SKILLS:
Hellfire Plume - A jet of hellfire. Berserks the targets, and isn't put out as easily. Not quite a grease fire, but unless it's totally frozen into oblivion, it ain't goin' out! Obeys fire resistance like any fire, though.
Fume - Makes hot air fume from the earth below. Might sear the feeble.
Berserk - Non-damaging fire spell which berserks a target for awhile. Can be removed with water or ice stuff!
Danmaku Adaptability - Now that there's a NERF gun on it I can shoot the good danmaku dude.
=o=
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Boosts the power of wind skills. Maybe I should purchase fast food, and disguise it as my own cooking. Ho ho ho…!
=o=
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Boosts the power of water skills.
SKILLS:
Freakin' Leaks! - Can produce limitless fresh hanger water…!
Geyser - Basic water attack. Gush of water erupts from the earth and might fling the feeble…!
Valve - I can control the water flow with this!
=o=
Bee-Fitty-Fore-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Made of a lot of weird freakin' parts and stick bits and piston things. Has a NERF gun slapped onto it too!
STATS:
Danmaku explodes, dealing knockback and splash damage.
Accuracy falls moderately when used to fire danmaku.
SKILLS:
Boom - Hitting stuff makes booms!
Danmaku Adaptability - Can also shoot the good danmaku, dude.
=o=
Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself, along with some shoddy enchantments!
STATS:
Lowers user's defense slightly.
Attacks are electric and holy elemental.
Attacks travel through matter
Attacks become magical rather than physical.
SKILLS:
Panic Attack! - Run faster when health is lower!
Magic Attack - Physical attacks are converted to magic attacks, and fluidly pass through objects.
Combo Jump - Allows the user to transition to jumping while mid-attack.
Aerial Plus - Forced aerial support! It's vaguely easier to hit aerial foes with it!
Air Slide Plus - Lets the user awkwardly air slide.
Glide - Replaces my double jump skill with gliding.
High Jump - Increased jump height while running.
=o=
Fragile Flower - A cute hanger with floral designs and light colors. Aesthetically pleasing!
SKILLS:
Enfeebled - Wielder has halved physical defense and offense.
Cleanse - Basic healing skill which cleanses one target of all debuffs or status problems.
=o=
Dream Hanger - Non-elemental hanger. Black and unassuming metal. Currently balanced, and easy for Brad to use. Has innate magical properties to it.
STATS:
Increases accuracy slightly. Somehow…? So said Genkan.
10% instant death resistance. Hoh…!
=o=
Headless Horseman's Hanger - Hanger based on the blade of a headless horseman...? Solid 'hilt' handle thing, but the rest is purely energy...
STATS:
Deals sun-elemental damage on contact.
25% Dark resistance.
Boosts the power of sun skills.
SKILLS:
Headless - Summons pumpkin-head danmaku from nowhere to assault targets. One spawns every combo-finisher!
Combo Plus - User gets one more melee attack!
Critical Plus - User gets critical attacks more often!
Magical Attack - Physical attacks phase through targets and do magical damage. Makes chaining together attacks way easier.
=o=
Frost Broker - Hanger-fan hybrid which never melts. Based on that time Shimokoa freakin' gutted me!
STATS:
Deals chilling on impact.
Randomly freezes the user.
Boosts the power of ice skills.
SKILLS:
Freezing Impact - Spreads frost along anything it strikes.
Auto-Sucker - When this weapon is equipped, Brad will always lash out with it immediately.
=o=
London Operating Cross - A cross that lets me summon good 'ol London, yo. Non-elemental in nature. Not actually a plant hanger. London herself uses Fireball, Ice Shard and Thunderbolt, but can only use a few spells before runnin' outta mana. Also fires diamond-shaped patterns 'a yellow, diamond-shaped danmaku. Hoh! Costly-ish to use…!
=o=
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…
NERF longsword: the sequel - Now I can dual wield these useless, narratively non-existent armaments!
==o==
= ►ARMOR:
Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business. Doesn't actually help him hide in the brush.
STATS:
150% ice resistance.
50% freeze resistance.
50% dark resistance.
-50% percent fire resistance.
-50% percent burning resistance.
=o=
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Pink dress with lots of white ribbons. I'm not sure what to say about this...
STATS:
75% time resistance.
=o=
Yellow Racecar Helmet -It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
STATS:
Fifty percent sun resistance.
100% freezing resistance.
100% blinding resistance.
100% electrical stunning resistance.
=o=
Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it.
STATS:
100% electricity resistant.
100% freezing resistant.
Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.
Zero Gravity - Area of effect spell which removes gravity from debris and the feeble!
=o=
Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' space helmet.
STATS: (alone)
Fifty percent blinding resistant.
STATS: (paired with Lunarian Prototype Space Suit)
100% electricity resistant. Again, yo!
100% resistance to burning and being actively poisoned.
=o=
Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes. Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.
=o=
MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field.
STATS:
Extends prize grabbing range. Yay…?
=o=
Sun Badge - A badge that looks like the sun. How interesting, dude.
STATS:
15% sun resistant. I need to smelt this into a weapon…!
50% resistance to blinding and electrical stunning.
Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare. Yuck…!
SKILLS:
Sunfire Flare - Flash of light that blinds everyone. Doesn't work on the sun-resistant.
=o=
Stock Outfit - Blue, long-sleeved shirt with a huge V-neck button-up collar. Blue sweatpants. Most balanced outfit.
STATS:
-5% wind resistance.
May make the wearer tired.
=o=
Retro Patchy Hat - A really old hat of Patchy's. It's freakin floofy, du~de…!
STATS:
Moderate increase to magical defense and offense.
=o=
Moon Crescent - Patchy's favorite accessory.
STATS:
Immunity to silencing.
25% moon resistance.
Moderate increase to magical offense.
=o=
Anti-Magic Amulet - Deep blue, crystalline necklace given by Patchy in exchange for a blue dragon's bone. I should incorporate this into an outfit too so I don't freakin' forget it, 'cause it's real important!
STATS:
Sharply increases magical defense.
=o=
Cow Costume - Female clothing, of some description…? I think! S'freakin' weird, dude!
STATS:
Increases breast size by 25%.
Increases max health by 50%.
Wearer is immune to dispelling.
=o=
Autumn Dress - An actually sensible dress…! Looks like generic villager garb, except prettier and with brighter colors. Even aged, it's still bright!
STATS:
Wearer is immune to tiredness.
Wearer is immune to holy weakness.
Wearer is immune to stunning.
=o=
Iron Cross - Big World War II medal! Freakin'- holy shit…
STATS:
Randomly summons explosion backup.
50% bomb resistance.
Stagger immunity.
=o=
Officer Hat - Nazi officer hat…! I better not get a million angry letters for finding this!
STATS:
50% darkness resistance.
Wearer is immune to instant death.
=o=
Officer's Coat - Nazi officer coat, too! Oh boy oh boy…
STATS:
50% darkness resistance.
Wearer is immune to being cursed.
Slightly boosts defense and magic defense.
=o=
Toyosatomimi's Regalia - Dress of the Crown Prince... of all Taoism or something, I don't freakin' know!
STATS:
100% Dispel resistant.
100% Blinding resistant.
50% Sun resistant.
Gives the user Bravery, improving critical rate by 50%, and reducing enemy critical rates by 30% while active.
Vaguely boosts defense.
=o=
Toyosatomimi's Earmuffs - Makes it hard to hear when worn right. Has an awesome symbol on the sides! I... have no freakin' clue what it means.
STATS:
100% Silencing resistant.
Immunity to all sound damage, including Mandragora-tier screeching when worn properly.
=o=
Toyosatomimi's Cape - Miko's fancy ass cape. It shimmers in the light!
SKILLS:
May be set to three different colors, changing cape properties:
Purple Mode:
The Prince's Will - Passive which constantly gives the user Morale status, preventing them from dying when struck by a blow that would fell them in one hit if they're of high vitality. Stops even Instant Death, although the wearer will be on the cusp of death.
Red Mode:
Adaptive Combo Plus - Passively extends melee combo length on the ground and in the air by one.
Strength Up - Boosts strength somewhat.
The Prince's Strength - Boosts defense greatly.
Blue Mode:
Danmaku Plus - Each bullet fired has a 50% chance to be two bullets instead.
Magic Hastera - Mana regenerates 50% faster.
The Prince's Cunning - Boosts magic defense greatly.
=o=
Toyosatomimi's Panties - The prince's panties. They're purple and shiny...
STATS:
Improves movement speed slightly.
50% Dispel resistance.
Randomly grants Morale status.
100% Blinding resistance.
=o=
Reimu's Outfit - Shrine maiden clothes, dude. Holy resistant, but I dunno how much! Even comes with the bindings and tubes and ribbon 'n' everything!
Reimu's Ribbon - Man, that's cuddly looking. I need to hug Reimu now, dude...
Hakurei Arm Sleeves - No- teach me, how do you wear these!?
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Legends say that if touhous do not wear this hat, they die dude.
Monk Robes - Doesn't really stack up to my other shit at this point! Wonder what I can do wit' it...
Gravity Boots - Boots that reduce the user's gravity! More like, propels them off the floor a little. Reduces the effectiveness of space statuses on the user. Really weird to control…!
==o==
= ►CONSUMABLES/OTHER:
Fifty two thousand, seven hundred Yen - Cash just got a lot smaller...
Four Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!
Some Fancy Key - A key lent to me by Brittany. Wha- why. What's it for…!?
Youkai Exterminator Badge - I still have this, dude! Yo ho ho! Allows me to not be considered a youkai by most guardsmen!
Yellow Star Gem - A star-shaped yellow gem. I really should've asked Patchy what this did…! It's shiny and luminescent, though.
Sweet Sleep Pillow - Doremy's nice cuddly pillow. Really soft. Random chance to survey you on pillow quality while you're sleeping.
Genkan's Sweet Sleep Pillow - It's also pretty poofy...
Another 3DS - Especially 'cause I picked up anotha'!
Picture of Sendai Hakurei no Miko Sleeping on her Side and Facing the Viewer while Drowsy - ...Yeah uh, what it says on the tin. Reimu must see this, dude…!
Masturbation Pillow - ...Genkan probably would've given me a look fer this, if she could! Wau…
Dark Knife - Where the hell'd this- oh, wait! This is the thing Genkan got from that fairy! She just slipped it in here while no one was lookin'...
Combo Technology - Red, orange and yellow piece of plastic and metal, about the size of a plant hanger. Not sure what the hell it is… but it looks pretty neat.
Wasp Stinger - Let the crap pile o~n!
==o==
= ►RANDOM CRAP:
Tables and Furniture - Impromptu furnishings!
==o►o==
PARTY MEMBERS:
==o►o==
Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning. Cuddly, dude...
SKILLS:
Ice Control - Freely use ice to make stuff. Inherent one hundred percent ice resistance. Negative one hundred fire and burning resistance.
Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.
Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.
Tundra - Precursor to Glacier. Weak spike of ice that serves more as a warning. Physical ice attack.
Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.
Triple Glacier - Same as above, except with more sudden scope across more targets. Less accurate. More costly.
Ice Spin - Not the skill Brad thinks it is. Creates a ring of initializing frost around a wide area, with a high chance to freeze.
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.
Snow - Make it snow locally. Very minor ambient ice damage to everyone on the battlefield, including allies. Has a low chance to instantly freeze someone for no reason.
Yuki-onna's Embrace - Hug. Binds target close to her. Makes the target tired, severely lowers accuracy and magical defense, and makes them comfortable. Skill may only be performed by my kind. Negative facets reduced by ice and freezing resist. Someone with over a hundred resistance will be buffed and healed by it.
Yuki-onna's Entombment - Final, optional stage of the hug. Guaranteed instant death inflicted by the draining of vitality. Heals the user for the heat taken from the target. Does not work well on bosses or the instant death resistant. Instant death proc is nullified if the target's ice or freezing resistance is over fifty percent. Skill may only be performed by my kind.
INVENTORY:
WEAPON: Fans
BODY: Absolute Zero Kimono
MISC ONE: None.
MISC TWO: None.
MISC THREE: None.
RESULTING STATUS:
300% ice resistance
300% freezing resistance
-50% fire resistance [native]
-50% burning resistance [native]
==o==
Absolute Zero Kimono - A better version of the stock yuki-onna kimono. Outfited with new royal blue and cyan trims. It's fun, dude...
STATS:
100% percent ice resistance.
Effects vary when not worn by her…!
=o=
Heavy Tanker - Huge, metal-grey cardboard fans!
STATS:
+150% max HP.
Quadrupled defense.
Speed reduced to 25%.
Knockback effects halved.
100% Stagger immune.
50% Bomb resistance.
SKILLS:
Super Armor - When casting or melee attacking, user is way more knockback resistant.
Tundral Disaster - User can create a pinnacle glacier of ice, and then detonate it like a warhead. Half magical bomb, half physical ice attack.
Defender - Defense is increased in critical situations. Passive.
=o=
Fever - The tiniest pink fans...!
STATS:
100% Confusion resistant.
100% Slow resistant.
100% immunity to evasion debuffs.
Defense halved.
Attack halved.
Speed doubled.
SKILLS:
Break Time - Take a break. You've earned it, dude! Heals all MP and HP, if user is given some time to relax. User has to do three party tricks to get the HP and MP.
Hastega - Speed up the whole party! Doubles everyone's speed. Stacks...!
Rising Rotor - Do a breakdance move to fend off attackers and get back up!
=o=
Two thousand yen - Pocket money.
Bagged Money - We still dunno how much Reimu gave us...
Peppermint - Yo- Genkan has candy…!?
Fans - Regular fans. Helps her spread out frigid air, but she mostly holds onto them for personal fashion, apparently...
Ninjas of Love - Novel? Yo- what...
Viking Rune - Reusable rune that summons a viking monolith. Once summoned, it greatly increases everyone's physical attack prowess, before firing a frost spark with massive freezing capabilities. Very costly to all party members. Uses two inventory slots.
3DS - Genkan likes to play the single video game, dude…
[no space remaining]
==o►o==
Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Sort of down on herself, and not very confident… but when she gains steam, she can be very determined! Resistances and weaknesses depend on equipment. Can cast basic elemental spells.
SKILLS:
Fire - Small, homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes! Doesn't do much damage.
Fira - Slightly larger homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes. Bursts broader than the preceding spell.
Blizzard - Spread shot of big snowflakes. May chill foes.
Blizzara - Big spread shot of myriad ice chunks, with magical snowflakes whirling around inside them. May freeze foes.
Thunder - Random spread of bolts in an area. Basic electric spell.
Thundara - Random spread of bolts in an area which explode on impact with the ground. May stun foes.
Charm - Boosts magical attack of self or an ally moderately.
Seduction - Skill that temporarily seduces a foe. Single target, and doesn't work well on bigger girls...
INVENTORY:
WEAPON: Pine Frost Staff
BODY: Casual Freeze Clothes
MISC ONE: None.
MISC TWO: None.
MISC THREE: None.
RESULTING STATUS:
75% ice resistance
100% freezing resistance
Slightly improved magical defense [native]
==o==
Pine Frost Staff - Made with pine wood and an icy reagent.
STATS:
25% ice resistance.
100% freezing resistance.
-50% burning resistance.
SKILLS:
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.
=o=
Way of the Tiger - A really good wood staff, dude!
STATS:
-75% max MP.
+75% max HP.
Weapon is very light!
Defense increased sharply!
Attack increased sharply!
Magical defense decreased sharply...
Magical attack decreased sharply...
SKILLS:
Staff Skill - Doing effective moves with the staff is a lot easier because of its combat design!
High Jump - User can jump a bit better!
Polearm Beatdown - Critical attack that users tend to pull off once their adrenaline is running high. Hits multiple times.
=o=
An Eternity Together - Grey staff, with a very, very intricate top piece.
STATS:
50% Time resistant.
User is immune to slowing and stop.
+15% max MP for every party member.
User's speed is halved for every additional party member.
SKILLS:
Stop - Freezes an enemy in time. Only works on weaker foes. Any damage the enemy takes while frozen is relayed to it on fast-forward once it's free again!
=o=
Stubby Rapier - A shiny, brass rapier. Imbued with magical energy, for spell swords.
STATS:
50% dispel resistance.
=o=
Casual Freeze Clothes - Casual, neon villager garb. Bright yellow shirt with a blue snowflake stitched onto the front, a bright blue skirt, and a tan vest.
STATS:
50% ice resistant.
100% freezing resistant.
=o=
Wood Staff - Training foci for magic. Not very good for much else.
Magical Lens - When coupled with magic, this lens shoots non-elemental lasers. Gift from Marcus Kirisame.
[Travel Bag] - Item that grants inventory by holding more items. Wahaha! Eight slots.
Two Mana Potions - Alchemical blends which restore magic energy.
Sabbath Pamphlet - Dark brochure imbued with instructional magic, and desires from a land far, far away. Teaches Seduction to mages.
[three spaces remaining]
==o==
Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - Snuggly fairy maid companion…! Healed by electric magic. Immune to electric stunning, 'cause yeah. Weak to earth, poison and darkness. Quick to become ill from poison.
SKILLS:
Little Zap - Basic electric magic. Zaps a target twice with static from above.
Random Electric - When pressured, uses random electric spells.
Electric Control - With true power, she's able to stun opponents into submission by touching them.
Electric Elemental - 300% electric resistant. 100% percent resistance to electrical stunning!
INVENTORY:
Hana's Fairy Maid Uniform - Stock standard uniform from the mansion! Cyan-tinted in places to match her hair color. Hoh...
==o==
Seikatsu Kikai, the Human Salvation Robot - The mysterious, alighty T-posing robot! Aaah- aaa~h!
SKILLS:
Medibeam - A slow-healing beam, which takes a couple minutes to rejuvenate someone. Feels good to be targeted by…
Cloaking - Seikatsu becomes invisible.
Scan - Returns data on a foe, including name, biological info, stats and strategies. All of us can call on this skill.
INVENTORY:
Nothing.
WEAPON: Seikatsu Kikai Offense System V.2.11
BODY: Regenerative Skin Armor Augmentation with Limb Enhancement V.3.31.11
MISC ONE: None.
MISC TWO: None.
MISC THREE: None.
STATUS:
Immune to poison, stagger, stunning, freezing, syphon, silence, blinding, tired, seduction, confusion, among others.
-80% radiation resistant
-50% thunder resistant
-80% bomb resistant
-50% water resistant
200% holy resistant
-50% dark resistant
80% earth resistant
-80% magnet resistant
-30% wind resistant
80% fire resistant
80% ice resistant
100% poison resistant
100% moon resistant
==o==
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
huh no AN for this chapter
THE MARIA GENKAN FUN TIMES WERE PRETTY FUN
i actually write a lot of lewd shit for myself only because yeah a lot of it is garbage and some fetishes are BEST LEFT CLOSED DUDE
but somehow i feel like the bathroom cuddlemania will be fairly well-received just due to the context and how it's more about the feel-good than it is anything else, but that ONE IMAGERY of maria just pressin' her face to genkan's side was HOOHOO dude
also the brad segments were a fun time 'cause they contrasted REALLY HARD WITH THE SANITY OF THE GIRLS and it was pretty good - w - also getting to use my new hanger skills like once was a hoot and a holler
THE BIG TALK WITH HIJIRI with some summary work from brad yo; an oddly involved discussion but a pretty fun one! it let me demonstrate brad's KINDA-SORTA INTUITABILITY...
meeting shou again was oddly sedate and i dunno if it was too sedate but we temple explore now boys
oh yeah now we're doing the quick weapon welds - w -
… if you can't tell this AN is being written like a week or two later XD
we also got in the good misc. interactions 'cause they're fun, and also KID COOMISAR, or KEI, takin' HIM PLACES DUDE
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW some of his frikmania was present in the matt chapters - w -
as always, see you all next time!
p.s. you'll probably wanna read the next matt chapter
