(in which we experience digital style)

Oof.

...Tewi stood in front 'a me, while I took a nice sit. 'Cause she pushed me, dude. "Nice reflexes, twig-arms. Them gamin' instincts didn't do ya a lotta good, huh? I saw ya flinch!"

I flinch again at her boisterousness! Boister-...osity…!? "The human body- s'got a lot more competitive balance changes than most classes, lemme tell ya…!"

"You tried ta dodge, and ya failed…" Shakin' her head, Tewi let 'erself stagger back, yo… "Yer like a newborn rabbit saunterin' into a fluffle. A fluffle of rabbits meeting a fluffle of fluffles." Wat.

"A fluffle of rabbits." I do not believe this, dude.

She rolls her eyes at me! "A bunch rabbits together's called a fluffle, mista' outsider-education." Oh shit. Wait- is that true…!?

Gettin' back up, I take a look down at my windy carrot medal on impulse. Ooh- it glows a little!

Idly, I also look back at Genkan an' Maria, who're just nearby!

...Maria cups her hands together, and calls out to me all snuggly like. "It's tru~e…" Oh. Aw, right- the thing about bunny fluffles that I almost just immediately forgot! She's tellin' me it's true! But-... really? For really real?

"Think fast." Tewi said uh, oh shit…!

whi- woosh. Woah- I nearly ate shit just stumbling out of the way of her attempt to bump into me! "I'm gonna try an' make you sit down." What, no. I don't even know how fast I really move with this thing on! I uh-... y'know, maybe that's the idea.

fwish. Oh my god Tewi is fucking scary when she just meanders towards you at freakin' light speed! Aaah- aa~h!

My miko sandal boot things freakin' clatter against the wood floor, as I sprint up behind Maria an' Genkan. I am really fast like this! I mean, I suppose that much is obvious, but my control is also like, way better, kind of. Something to that effect!

swish. Tewi just skids around them in a second just about, so I gotta freakin'-...

I did it! I hid behind Genkan and Maria in the opposite direction! Ah- oh shit! Tewi be fast on my ass!

We start to run circles around 'em! "Ah." Genkan pans her head back 'n forth, watching us run a circuit!

"Off to the races…" Maria starts to look idle, and fluffy, resting her time staff aside herself.

Uh- ho hoh! Tewi tried coming at me in reverse, an' I just kinda narrowly missed 'er!

She's gonna come around again- there she is-

pap. As I pass her, I grab onto her right arm wit' my left! And- oo~h boy.

Tewi tugs, and I spin around towards 'er 'cause she's that strong…! "Yer not superman, dude. Nice attempt at martial arts."

pap. She gives me a weak push, and zips off into uh... holy fuck, where'd she even go…!?

I stop in front 'a Maria an' Genkan! "Freakin'...!" Wabbits, dude!

"Drop a grommet, yo!" Leaping, I put the force inta my legs to backflip! "Unh!"

"Pft-...!?" Maria twitched, fer some reason!

Ohp- uh oh. I'm sideways in the air now, 'cause I pushed up at different times with each foot. This is a very extreme reaction to such a small mistake…!

It's nowhere but down from here, dude. I slowly careen back into the floor from my sluggish… maneuver thing!

thud. Softer than normal, actually…

"Dr- drop... a grommet?" Genkan is amazing, dude. "What is a grommet..."

Tewi stops around a couch across the room. "Wh- what the fuck." Wahaha!

An' then she's standin' over me, wit' a wry look. "Think that's funny, huh." N- no, yo! "Fr- freakin'..."

While I get up, she talks down ta me, yo. "How'd ya eat shit without me even' contributin'..."

"I tried to do a good flip." I inform her. "Maybe even the best flip."

...She smiles at that! "Best flip, ah. You'll find that thing does help vertical movements 'n' shit, but not as much by comparison ta runnin'. And, y'know, the whole thing of 'run faster, jump higher'." By 'that thing' she must mean my good necklace.

Hoh. "I see, yo…" Unarmed navigation enhancer is the best navigation enhancer. So I say, until I gotta use a weapon, or take a swig in the middle of a good duel, and lose all my speed…!

"There's also a buncha shit you can do with it that ya don't know about." Tewi remarks! "Oh. By the way… that amulet's got a trick ta it." Ooh…? "It only boosts ya up to the max speed yer body can do. Y'know how I said it was ta train bunnies? Er- the earth 'n' dirt kind."

"Huh…" I jog in place. I'm ready to sprint, dude. "Does this mean I'm freakin' fast, dude!?" I'm gonna rev up, and then snuggle people, dude. Like Genkan, dude!

Tewi gave a characteristic shrug, dude. "Aa~h. I mean, I have been holdin' back. If I really wanted ta style on ya, I could…" She's probably right, and all!

"Anyway." Circlin' me, she continues! "Basically, it lets ya move at the fastest ya could move, if ya really knew how to move your body, and y'know, found a little of the strength ta do so. Doesn't let ya use cheats 'till ya earn yer feet."

"Toes." I observe! "...Neat! Thank you for the random wind amulet!" You had absolutely no reason to give this to me! "...I don't owe ya no gangster favors, now do I…?"

"What if ya did, huh?" Tewi stops before me again, once I start turnin' around randomly to relocate her! "And, again… ya've been futzin' about Gensokyo this long, and all ya got to show for it is a little crazy?" I mean, I also have like fifty million things in this bag here, but…! "And, that taoist loonie's clothes."

"It's a hard noob life, dude." I confess, dude. "I like to sniff fluffs."

"Sniff too many, and you'll give yerself brain damage." She jests, I think!

...Takin' a moment, she seems ta look over at Genkan an' Maria, as they sorta meander about on their own. Maria's taken interest in the TV again, and Genkan's sighted the weird blue horizon glow these halls have, again!

"...Got some airheaded friends, huh, boy." Tewi calls me boy, despite being shorter than me! By like-... a lot. I'm six feet tall.

For some reason, that reminds me of something! "Aw! Yo- Seikatsu…"

fli- flick! Seikatsu exists, dude. "Accepting input."

"We gotta get her tuned up, dude." I gesture to the fluffy blonde robot of robot… robots. I almost lost my train of thought! "Fixin'!"

"Ah, that thing." Tewi verbally waved off its existence. "Aah, I'll ring up Eiri~n."

fwish. She draws a carrot phone from her dress. Clickin' a button on the center, she held it up ta her ear. "...Ee~h. What's up, doc?"

...Aw! After a moment, we get to hear her over speaker! "-So, as you'd know, I'm very busy. Show them the VR helmets, in the meantime. This- will take some doing, so take your time. You- that part does not go there. Stop. Stop-"

fzzt. Tewi clicked the button again, dude. "Man. That new crane game's gonna be wicked."

VR helmets, dude!? Aw. That sounds like fun!

...Readin' my weirdly quiet interest, Tewi begins to move! "Hey! Mage-ass, ice tits! C'mere!"

Genkan an' Maria descend upon us in moments…! "What was that?" Genkan looms over Tewi in particular!

Tewi gave her a blunt look. "Your boobs look big and kneadable. We're gonna go into virtual reality, by the way!"

"...Ah?" Genkan looks somewhere between insulted and confused, dude. "Ah?"

"Virtual…?" Maria takes notice of the weird word instead, dude. "Um?"

"Mmm!" With that, Tewi jaunts forward! "C'mere, ya freakin' party cows. Lemme herd ya." Aw. Herdable fluff tufts…

As we march off, Una and Ha-chan just kinda accelerate up behind us-

fwish. I side-stepped Ha-chan, dude. "Woah…!"

pap. That ginger rabbit girl Una whumped into Maria, makin' her jump! "Oh…"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"Why the heck'd you come along." Tewi walked backwards, facin' Una as we proceeded down the infinitely hazy corridor…

"N- no reason." Una shook her head, dude. "I want to use… virtual reality."

"Yeah uh huh." Tewi nods vigorously!

Eventually, the dark wood boards of this lazy Japanese dormitory-styled wing come to an end, and we end up walkin' onto the border between it and some dingy ass, ivory stone area again…

An' then we keep goin'! "We're in the bad neighberhood, now…" Tewi nodded at the crappy walls. "Always smells like chemicals down here." Good.

While we moved down the craptackular freakin'... nuclear plant-esque halls, we pass this blue-haired bunny wit' short, evenly cut hair…

"Wait- hold on!" She sprints from her position after we're almost well past her, and gets in our way in a moment! "Are you supposed to be back here?"

All casual and snug lookin', Tewi clicked her tongue. "Tch. Ma~n. Eirin's off the ball today, aa~h?"

"I- I heard nothing from her." Ballin' her thick, cloth-gloved fists, this weirdly sloppily suited bunny glares down at us! "Please, just turn back. Don't make me file paperwork about this…"

"Ya won't get no paperwork." Tewi tried convincing her, before immediately turnin' back to us… "Ah, you." Wh- yo- hey…!

Tewi pushes me towards the big noob! "Here's our muscle~. Talk it out wit' him." Son.

The chick just stares at me all confusedly. I give 'er the same look back!

Skirtin' alongside me, Tewi speaks to me in hush! "This chick's freakin' outta it. Can't ya see it?"

I shake my head! "All tubby rabbits are the same to me, dude…!"

Tewi huffs back! "Good. Look- I can tell, yer all hands on about things, and ya really got it goin' wit' those gal pals of yours there."

...Genkan and Maria are literally like three meters behind us! "Where's this goin'...!?"

Pap! Tewi smacked me on the back! "I'm gonna show ya a thing're two how ta tussle, dusty." Oh…!?

...Oh. The bunny chick ahead of us, is like… nodding off.

Steppin' up aside me, Tewi held her arms up! "Now, pay attention boy, this'll be important on the exam later!" The exam!? What's goin' on, son!? "Get yer arms up, all defense like. Like- this, see?" Oh…?

Ah. She's got one arm up vertical, and the other kinda slanted, as if she's ready ta flick a hand at anything comin' at her.

I get my arms like that! "...Ho hoh!"

While Genkan an' Maria back to the sides 'a the hall in mystification, Una followin' Maria an' Ha-chan not moving at all, we kinda size up the drowsy bunny girl!

"Cool…" Tewi gives me a nod! "Yer doin' great, dude." This is weirdly kind of her… "I want ya ta step forward, an' throw a kick at the air. Issa- issa real awesome move setup." Hoh…?

fwish! I throw one 'a my arms out all stylish like, and-

Woosh! Woah! That kick came out good!

WHUNK. Uh…

Tewi slipped ahead, her fist meeting the navy-blunette's crotch. "Nn- nnhu~...!" Oh, god! That does not sound good…!

While she caresses her own area in pain from Tewi's cunt punch, Tewi herself just backpedals away, now behind her.

Clap- clap, clap! Tewi cheers me on! "Yeah, way to go, Paul!"I'm Paul now! "Kicked her in the clit!" Wait…

"Fu- fhucker…" The blue-haired girl before is about to fuckin' boil over, and she's centerin' her glare on me! "You fucking idio~t!" Holy shit!

Oh- woah, she's comin' fast, fuckin' dartin' right at me, her arm raised to toss it forward.

fwish! With my ass speed, I hobble myself ta the side 'a her huge swing, and she misses! "Aah…"

Whish! Runnin' forward, I duck my head down to avoid gettin' nicked by a crazy elbow hook attack thing-

WHAM! Ow- my spine…! She kicked behind herself, and hit me! Even dead tired- this bunny is fuckin' faster than my reflexes and tactical noobery!

Thud! I fuckin' bounce off my knees an' elbows, and get back onto my legs! "O- ow…"

"Hit back, dumbass!" Tewi calls out to me! "Poke 'er in the tits! Slap 'er! Elbow 'er boobs! Poke 'er eyes!" Jesus!

WOOSH! Even though I'm way outta range, the bunny let out a crazy sweeping kick-

whish! Still, I hafta avoid gettin' nailed by her fuckin' black heel boot thing, which just came flying off! Wow!

"Nn- nnh…" Oh, now she's uneasy.

"Pounce, jacka~ss!" Tewi fuckin' screams at me!

pap- pap! I just kinda- scuttle up ta the bunny's side, and start uh, swinging for the ribs!

"Ugh!" Tewi's mad! Why is she mad, dude…!? Woah-

Woosh! I duck under another elbow thrusty move, and-

Thud- WOOSH! Fallin' onto my ass, I avoid a fuckin'... was that a sweep? Pretty crazy for a sweep, I gotta say! "Nn- nn…" Woah, she almost fell over onto me, but stopped herself for no reason!

I'm able ta get back up real swift like, 'cause I'm so light, yo. My ass made a worthy sacrifice in dodging that sweep kick thing, dude.

"I'm tellin' ya!" Tewi's now way closer, just yelling at me in particular! "Sometimes you can't be a pussy about it! Ya think ya can take this bitch in a fist fight!? Ya- ya couldn't take me in a fist fight, let alone her! Start' pokin' 'n' proddin'!"

Uh- holy shit, this is more intense than I'd have- expected…! But, I got a free moment- no I don't!

Before me, the blue bunny lunges forward! "Ghot you-"

fwish! Aah- crouching down for fuckin' dear life, passin' under her snuggle arms, my body shakes as I bring an arm up to graze it across her form.

Pap! I think that hit a boob…! "Nn- ow…!" Oh, man, that sounded like it kinda hurt…!

"Fuck her sides!" Tewi- can I not fuck 'er sides!? Well…

Pap! I slap a palm into her guts, in her left, now that I'm behind this tall bunny. "Nn-"

WOOSH! She spins herself totally to face me with her unreal elbow thrust, riding on her sock-clad heel ta pivot. "Fu- fucking, human shithead-"

WHISH! Oh- oh my god, how'd that not hit!? Her whole other arm thrust forward, clipping my miko cape, under my arm! I fuckin' felt it rub me, too!

Pahp! I ram my whole arm against her face- holy shit, she's just reeling her other arm back-

I uhm uh- I take the pose Tewi made with her arms- is this a fucking uppercut-

BAM! My- my elbow meets her fist!

"Ngh- fu- fuhuhuck…!" I stumble back, feeling at my arm…

"Aha- ow, ow…" The bunny girl staggers back too, flicking her fist about! "Now- fuck off!"

Uh- oh shit- here come that girl dude-

WHAP! Fuck- I- I kinda graze through a thrusty-style kick, but I still feel it…! Holy shit- how does that hurt so bad, it just barely clipped my ribs…

Pahp- pap! I fuckin' slap my arms against her while she tries to stumble back onto her leg from her kick. "Fh- fuckin'-" Ohp- I got too aggressive- my left leg mixed wit' hers!

fwish! Thu- thud! As I slid back, she fell onto one knee, fer a moment! How the hell'd I not eat shit, from that…!? "Nnh! You-"

"Now!" Tewi yells!

Whunk! I knee 'er in the boobie, and slap the back 'a my hand down-

Slap! I nail 'er cheek wit' that hand as she's gettin' up, and- flickin' myself back, my heart leaps, my head growing warmer-

Whack! Jankily clamberin' my leg up, my sandal meets her in the same boob I keep hitting! "Ohw- fucking- shh~..."

"Yeah!" Comin' up beside me, Tewi starts thrustin' at the air, real pumped! "You got 'er! Keep goin'!"

I- I mean, if you say so- I'll just-

wap- wap! I roll my elbow over her nose twice, grazin' it past her face enough just to bonk the nose, before she finally gets up between all my shit. "I- I'll khill- you!" Ho- holy shit-

PAP. PAP. Her arms get my body- ow ow ow that hurts immediately-

"Her eyes! Her cunt!" Tewi barks at me! "She'll fold you, boy!"

SQUITCH. In the heat of the moment, I thrust a single finger into her right eye.

"Eegh- haa-..." Holy fuck. She just stumbles back, lettin' go and grabbin' her eye there with one arm. "Da- dahm…"

Woosh! Tewi mimics a kicking motion aside us, pivotin' around on the front 'a her foot as she like… kicked forward at first, but then kicked back, almost with her pivot, doin' a whole one-eighty. What the fuck!

...I- I think I get it.

Woosh. Throwing my arm, twistin' my torso, I rotate to the freakin' right. I kick backwards.

This is really fucking weird! 'Cause I kicked backwards, I like, glide on the front of my sandal, as my leg comes around back 'a me, doin' a one-eighty swoosh like Tewi-

WHAM! It met the bunny chick's upper chest unevenly.

"Uu- huu~..." Lettin' out some kinda breathy sigh, she-

thud. Oh. Um… oof. Is she okay…!? She just fuckin' ragdolled, almost!

"...Ha- aah." I- I let out a breath I didn't know I was holdin'! Or- maybe I'm just fuckin' tired… I- I think it's the latter...

...Tewi walks up to me, smilin' dude. Aw, man. I guess… I guess that was pretty cool, aside from the eye poke thing-

SLAP! Ow- what the fuck! "You're such a fuckin' pussy. That was shit." Wha~h!?

"Yo- what gives!?" I rub my cheek…! "The fuck-"

SLAP! She slaps me again! "That fight woulda been over in ten goddamn seconds if y'just had the balls to get down 'n' dirty to begin with."

...I hold my arms out! "I- like, didn't wanna hurt her too bad-"

"Yeah, and she wanted to snap ya into a pretzel!" Tewi pipes back! "Hell, yer lucky she ain't that bitch Toki. Take ya back to her comfy bed so she can break yer legs from fuckin' ya all night, until yer goddamn dick's raw and ya never wanna fuck again." Holy fuck! "All 'cause ya didn't have the soul ta poke her goddamn eyes out instead."

...I mean, that's fair enough, actually. I kinda freakin'... whenever I'm not fighting fairies or guards, it's like-... she's pretty! I don't like ta hurt pretty girls! Not that fairies aren't pretty, but-

"What?" Tewi grinned up at me! "What- you worried about her? You fuckin' worried? Aw, aren't you a goddamn husbando?" Pft- what…! What the fuck- "Even if you managed to rip her entire, whole eye out-" Tewi uses a hand to stretch her own eyelids for emphasis! "-even a baseline shitty wolfman'd probably grow one back in a week's time. I mean, look."

...Oh, man! What the hell! The- the lunar bunny's already getting onto her legs! "I'm- not done…" Her eye I poked's all red, some blood runnin' down her cheek, but it's-... it's fuckin' regenerating, slowly. I can see it fuckin' regenerate. "I-I was tired before- but now…"

Tewi sighed. "Lemme get this shit over with. Watch and learn, fucknugget." Fucknugget…!?

...Tewi took that freakin' slippery pose, as she got close to the bunny!

"Re- really…" The bunny does not wanna fight Tewi, however. "Wh- what happened t'yer muscle…"

"Wha' happened ta yours?" Tewi retorts! "I'll make sure Eirin feeds ya yer fuckin' kennel after this, don't worry." Yo!

"Rgh…" Stompin' towards her, the done-with-life bunny brings up her fists! An' then-

WHISH! She unleashes a quick-ass risin' kick-

Whap- pap- whap- whap! In one moment, Tewi fuckin' whips into her form, drawin' an elbow across her breasts, thrusting the other palm forward, kneeing her thigh…

"Nn- ah…" Lookin' done, the big bunny just steps back as her body convulses to the whacks- "Gotcha~h!" Woah!

PAP- PAHP! She grabs onto Tewi in one moment, both her arms trapping Tewi's at her sides. Oh- shit! Like- the whole thing we were doing was based on arm movement! Ooh…

"Nn- nngh…" Grabbin' the arms that held her with her own, Tewi tugged. But, the big bunny tugged back way harder-

Click! That's when her palms seemingly rolled off Tewi's shoulders. "Pft- aa-..."

Taking to the air from the mere force of her freedom, Tewi spins around barrel-style in the air like a freakin' ninja-

WHACK! Her bare ankle meets the side of the big bunny's head. "Kghk-...!?"

Wha- CRACK! The side of her head just roared into the floor, like it was fuckin' meant for it. Du~de…!

...Silently, Tewi lands on 'er four limbs, before springin' inta regular standing. Then she turns ta me! "Y'see- I coulda just poked her eyes, too. But I had the situation so damn under control…!" She brings a hand up, makin' a real 'finessse' type hand gesture! "So damn clean! It didn't even matter. That was no contest…!" Da~mn...

Then, she just kinda exhaled. Bringin' her arms behind her head, leisure-like, she began ta strut forward again. "Nnn. 'Sides, even if we aren't all oni, most youkai do have a pretty strong idea 'a might makes right. So, long's you aren't the aggressor, ya can rip out all the spines ya want. Hell, they get better, you don't. Most youkai are a dime 'a dozen, as it is."

...Jesus. This-... was unexpectedly intense, all of a sudden!

At the sidelines, Genkan's just starin' at us neutrally, an' Maria's got her brows raised!

"Stop hitting hi~m!" Ha-chan runs at Tewi!

...Tewi just pans back ta her. Woah- no-!

Once Ha-chan got in range, Tewi's arms went to her sides, duckin' under a zappy hand. When could Ha-chan make a taser hand.

thu- thump. "He- hehehe- aa- hahaha!" Ha-chan was tickled, dude. "St- stop- aha- oa~h…!" She even fell over!

"...That's-... a pretty dismal way of viewing youkai." Genkan decided…

Tewi just stops. She turns ta Genkan next!

"It is." Genkan folds her arms! "I wouldn't say… youkai should be treated with-"

"Replace youkai with human." Tewi uh, wow… she fuckin' laid that argument down flat…! "Get back ta me on that."

...Genkan just lets her arms drop! "Oo- oh. Okay, then."

We get walking again! An' Maria starts talkin' on the point… "Really, that kinda… pragmatism, is how you should view any fight. Just- don't tear out human's spines, though..."

Very quickly, Genkan was now on the side of aggression! "What if you have to?"

"Then you have to." Maria agreed though, yo. "...And, mind you, there's a very big difference between having to, and summoning big ice rocks to kill your enemies." When'd she learn that story, actually…!?

Exhalin', Genkan nodded up at the ceiling… "I'm not as dumb as I was a few weeks ago."

Ho~h. Now we're all pacin' on ahead, bein' all fluffy. I'm also freakin' exhausted, after all of that…!

Slowly, Tewi reverts back ta moonwalking up the hall ahead 'a us. "Ha~h…? What's the story behind that?"

...As she drifts along, Genkan takes a little breath, 'fore gettin' into it yo. "Well. A certain human boy insulted me and my sisterhood, one day. I then stole his lover, and looking to get even, as well as recover her, he brought a raiding party to fell me. Having expected this, I had magically charged monoliths aid me in freezing all of them."

"Oo~h. They all dead, then?" Tewi assumed! "Ain't that a sweet story."

"Well, no." Genkan continued…! "One of them was Brad. It was probably through his efforts that no one died."

"No shi~t…?" Tewi gives me a look! "I'm curious. How the hell'd he pull something like that off?"

I butt in! "One hundred percent ice resistance…!" Offerin' my explanation, I give 'er the big grin!

"...Aah?" Tewi looks oddly offput! "Really…"

Genkan snorted. "Little of my techniques worked. He was immune to the cold."

Even so, Tewi was still skeptical! "...I mean, you coulda just snapped his neck or something."

"Do you take me for a barbarian." Genkan's not about that though! "Humans they may… be-... I may have had a low opinion of humans then, but I was not about to sully my hands with their blood directly." Wahaha!

Walkin' along, I close my eyes, and take the good moment to focus on my equips…

Fwi- click! After floatin' into the air, I stumble about after I land awkwardly! "Ho- ho! Behold, yo!" Now I have… the camouno on, and the classic Kaguya wig, dude.

Tewi's eyes widen at me! "Oh, shit, it is ice-immune. My eyes. Where the hell'd ya get that…!?" Then, she looks the Kaguya wig over… "I might have an idea where the wig came from, though."

"So." Genkan continued to tell the story! "I took him back to my cave, to get a better idea how to deal with him, and to deprive the human boy further of his valuable pieces."

"You mean fuck 'em." Tewi gave her a blunt look. "'Cause that's what yuki-onna do in the snow. Steal boys, fuck 'em, and eat 'em."

Even though she didn't like that, Genkan didn't lash out! "...I won't dignify that with a response. My sisters- nnh… regardless." Ho ho! "That's when we had an argument."

"Wait." Tewi gave her a wry look! "So, you took him back to yer place to kill him, but you just ended up arguin' instead? Wo~w."

"The discussion came up." Genkan returned even-spoken commentary! "And so it was discussed. At the time, it seemed… strange, to me. He worked to convince me that, not all humans are bad. That humanity isn't quite simply a savage collective."

...Slowin' down even more, Tewi just gives her the good nod. "So yer sayin' this brain genius convinced you that every human ain't trash. By yellin' at you after ya tried to ice him. This dude."

Genkan let her brows curl up! "I mean, such is not to say most aren't still a savage collective. But, the capacity to which one can grow is more than I initially gave their species credit for…"

"Hehe…" Fer some reason, Tewi had a freakin' smug li'l grin at that. "Yea~h. You'd think an individual society like the onnas wouldn't have such a collectivist mindset…"

Genkan jerked her head back at that! "Collectivist…?" Tewi like, essentially just called the snow chick tribe a savage collective of their own merit…! Oof, dude.

"...Ya know what that means?" Tewi questioned her, 'cause the statement was a little vague!

"I don't believe I've heard the term before, but I can assume…" Aw. Genkan dunno the political lingo. Which makes sense, all things considered.

"Basically," Tewi held up a finger! "In this sense, it refers more ta how one might… emphasize on a collective rather than the individual. S'an easy, broad way of thinking, and pertains specifically to bunches 'a people. Kinda a nice word for stereotypin' an' ignoring context sometimes, too. Like, someone who's a collectivist would be like, 'even though fringe cases exist, to fit my view of these people, they now will be ignored'. Now they're right about everything! Ain't that so easy?"

"It's more insulting than I thought." Genkan didn't like the sound 'a that! "You cannot say that other collectives don't act predictably, however."

"Yeah. An' who has the judgment to determine whether a dude's a follower, or somethin' else?" Tewi reclined her arms behind 'er head again. "Ya might say 'a smart or smart-enough person', but a collectivist would say 'it doesn't matter 'cause individual people shouldn't exist to begin with'. Except, y'know, where it pertains to them. 'Cause it don't make sense ta them."

"Are you saying my sisters lack proper judgment?" Genkan tilted her head…

Tewi nodded. "Yeah."

"...Huh." Genkan didn't necessarily refute that!

Lookin' behind us, I see that ginger rabbit chick Una just kinda observin', an' Maria too.

Then I realize, that Genkan's turned ta me! "What do you think?"

"Oo~h…" I'm put on the spot, son. "I mean… considerin' what I've gone through, I might be inclined ta agree!" Freakin' Shimokoa, dude.

"S'just that, it seems weird fer a society of mostly chicks who live alone, and where there aren't even many of them." Tewi justified her thinkin'! "If ya've ever met a yamanba, those dudes live and think alone."

"...I believe I have." Genkan remembers that one chick we found! "It was… interesting."

"That tends ta be the impression people get!" Tewi grins at that! "Oh, hey."

After the eternity of freakin' mullin' down this hallway, we reach a steel door.

Tewi takes a freakin' mallet from- from somewhere, and comes up to the door like she was about ta swing a bat… an' then-

WHA~M! She slams it into the door, below the handle! We all jump at the volume!

"Oo~..." Maria rubbed one of her ears! "That echoed…"

Crea~k. Now that the door was unlocked, Tewi pushed it open! Apparently she just freakin', hammered the lock's internal stuff into non-existence. "Get in here. We're gonna virtual reality this shit."

Ho~h. Y'know, I've actually always wanted to try VR, but I've always thought 'a it as just too expensive.

"What is... virtual reality?" Maria considered! "What's virtual mean…?"

As we mozy on in, I make out how plain this uh, virtual reality room is. At the same time, it's ten times cleaner than the hallway outside. 'Cause while the outside had the most gruesome, Chernobyl-style crapped out pasty bricks, in here it was like a little lounge…

The red, velvet-like couches seem to have gotten very little use. There's a rich, mahogany lookin' coffee table in the center, and… along the back wall, there's a bunch of futuristic machines, dude.

Tewi sizes up the vaguely luminescent green 'n' blue machinery in the back of the room, 'fore answerin' Maria's fluffy question. "Ya live in a cave, don't ya…" Or not!

"I do." Genkan confirms!

"I live nowhere." Maria goes on to raise the stakes!

It's all up to me, dude. "Virtual means like… computers! Y'see, computers have… this kinda information storage space in 'em, and also…" Ah, idea! "Processin' capacity! Which is like, how fast they think. An' basically, stuff processed cybernetically, or virtually, or computerally, all happens in the… runnin' state of a computer!" Oof…!

"Basically…" Tewi summarizes it more elegantly! "Computers run the math to emulate things and spit the visuals back out ta us. In this case, through headset things!"

"...Huh." Maria seems to have kinda-sorta gotten that! As a whole, that series of explanations was kind of a mess!

"Technology is strange." Genkan reflected… "Are we certain no magic is involved?"

...Tewi grins at 'er! "Good tech's indistinguishable from magic. An' really, they're real similar at heart. Math, complex concepts of physics and the world, very inter-worked, so on…"

Creak! Ploppin' down on the couch, Tewi pats one of the cushions. "Get in here. Couch ain't gonna eat ya… at least, not this one." Good…!

"Tewi." That Una chick speaks up…! "How's these eye-covering things work, anyway…?"

"Sit down wit' the peanuts an' I'll tell ya." Gettin' up, Tewi throws an arm back at the couch!

Cre- cre- creak. Aa- ooo. Holy shit sitting down is good, dude.

Genkan's on the edge cushion to my left, and Maria took the right one. An' then Una took the last rightmost one!

Ah- oof. Ha-chan plopped into my lap! "Unf."

"You know…" Genkan speaks up, while Tewi goes to the prong-shaped goggle holders. "Hana. Do you feel any different, from consuming that-... orb? Natural essence…" She let that last part trail off 'cause she probably bet Ha-chan wouldn't really know what it was called!

...Ha-chan looked at her, an' nodded. "I feel like-... I can feel more." Huh.

...Genkan looks surprised! "What do you mean?"

Zap- zap! Ha-chan holds up her zappy hand. You know- I don't actually remember her having a like, melee zappy hand thing. She always just cast the pitiful thunder spell. "I forget stuff less… and I'm zappy!" Aw!

"Maria." Una speaks! "Hi."

"Hi." Maria gives 'er a blunt stare back…!

"Hi." I greet both of them.

"Hello~!" Ha-chan greets the world.

"Hi?" Una greets us!

...I shake my head. Oof.

"What was that…" Genkan shook her own head!

"But, I gotta admit!" Comin' forward, Tewi holds up some headset things! And, they're wired to those cerulean-green freakin' machines. "It'd be a lie if I said these things didn't integrate some magic inta their tech!"

Behind 'er, the machines themselves: they seriously are these big fuckoff prongs hooked up to the room's back wall. Along the back-left side there're like, screens and panels with keyboards and buttons, 'n' stuff. It's really weird...

But, it's also familiar! Even if the actual hardware design is a lot more raw and 'as it functions' rather than 'spruced up for the common consumer'. The only thing that looks nice are the padded black 'n' green headset things. The machines they're hooked up to are raw steel on the outside, and have small access hole things into tufts of very study looking wires.

All the computers along the room's left have beyond modern interfaces, but the monitors holding the interfaces are jagged steel.

Aw, she places a headset on my lap, before randomly distributing more…

"So!" I hold up the ominously luminescent headset…! "What, uh… what game is this, yo?"

Tewi grins up at me! "Eientei Assault! And, don't worry, there's no pain emulation yet, so you can go nuts."

Ah, huh. No pain emulation, son.

"No pain emulation?" Genkan raised her brows at that! "What are we-... playing, exactly?"

"I just toldja." Tewi asserted! "Eientei Assault. Basically, you all get ta play the role of a buncha hooligans breakin' in, and your goal's to kill Kaguya." Ho ho! "But, ya gotta face simulants of like, everyone who lives here in the process, and long story short, you're gonna die."

"...Ah." Genkan looks confused! "Wait. What do you mean, by dying?"

Lettin' out a snort, Tewi nods. "Pft. When you die in the game… you don't die in real life. Ya get kicked outta the headset and get to watch the rest on a television thing until the next round. Since there's no pain and ya can keep trying forever, it'sa fun time waster."

Ho~h. It does sound like fun. Hopefully the girls can adjust to how surreal it is…!

Wait. "How accurate is Eientei in this simulation?" I gotta know, dude.

...Idly, Tewi just gave me a half-answer! "Eeh, kinda? I know they used some kinda realistic modeling plan. S'got all my hidey holes in it, so it's pretty damn accurate, I guess."

I know what our real goal's gonna become after a few moments of screwing around!

...After reading enough people's vexed stares, Tewi moved. "Ugh, look, I'll show ya how the hell ya wear one… it- it's like goggles."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

fwi- fwi- fwish. Wo- woah. Just puttin' the things on made my vision itself ripple almost. I'm already dizzy, and I wouldn't expect to be the kinda person to get dizzy from this sorta thing…!

Everything's black wit' some weird, green translucent tint, for a moment.

An' then-

FZZ- vuu~m… Aw. That reminded me of a static TV, dude!

Also, the light is here. We're all standin' in the lobby at the clinic's entrance, under the dim lighting…

"Um- oh…" Aw. Genkan-

thud. -is not having an easy time getting her bearings! "This-... this is all wrong…" She just flopped onto her legs, and now looks sad.

"Wo- wow…" Maria's spinning in a circle, and- how do you move? I just-

thud. I land on what kinda feels like my legs, but not really…? I thought it was weird there were no remotes, but apparently this is like… huh.

We all seem to have all our regular things, so it might be like… wow, how the fuck does this work!?

"Ye- yeah…" Even Tewi stumbles around a little! "S'gonna be a bit for the thought regulator things to sync, and not give us headaches. It's uh… it's been tested cross-species before too, so-"

"M- my head hurts." Genkan holds her forehead, but recoils from the fact she probably couldn't feel her own head! "Wh- what is this…!?"

And then, silence. The weird… churning feeling in my head stopped.

...Genkan hovered onto her-... well, she hovered. Onto her personal air, dude. "What was that? I'm better now, yet…"

"Synching." Tewi began to stretch a little… "'Cause y'know, this is a pretty high-immersion emulation thing, so it really commands and allocates a lotta yer looser brain processes so that you think in a certain way, at the right pace and to the right set 'a… rules, we'll call 'em." What. Is this a game, where the RAM is your brain functions…!?

"...So, would that idea be better summarized as a very vivid hallucination?" Genkan guessed! "None of this is real, as you say…"

"S'more like lucid dreaming, but with checks." Tewi negotiated the terms…! "So, no doin' things ya normally can't do. Has ta be both consistent with one another's thinkin', and has to make sense accordin' to the system's evaluation 'a you. There's probably a way ta fudge it, but you'll get disoriented if ya actually desync anything. Or y'know, just kicked outta the simulation if you fuck it super hard."

Comin' up to Genkan, she smiled up at her! "You can touch yer face now, if you tried."

...So Genkan tried! "...Ah. I-... see. So I believe."

"How- how does this even work…?" Maria also has many questions! "I- I… I can sense my mana, but it's all so different… and, the energies around me are so… wrong, almost."

"Oh, yeah." Tewi nodded at that! "Mana flow emulation ain't super worked out yet, so you kinda have infinite, unless you don't think you do. So, really it's like… as much mana as you think you can get away with, until the system does the ambience more believably, or something ta that effect."

Good. Oh, boy, this is gonna be a mess, dude.

"O- ow…" Aw. Ha-chan looks woozy! "Ouh…?" Very woozy!

Stumblin' towards us, Una adjusted about as well as we all did. Freakin'... this rabbit chick is persistent! What's wit' her an' Maria, too!?

"Oo~h, yeah. We never did slap a fairy in this thing before." Tewi reveals! "...Eeh. Worst thing that can happen, is we all get kicked out 'cause she super fucks the doohickies." You sure sound reliable, Tewi!

Well. We're here, dude. Not-Eientei.

"So…" Genkan looked down at her not-hands, dude. "This is a combat simulation, yes?"

"Yeah, that begins as soon as we take any steps outta this front lobby." Tewi provides! "We're probably gonna do like, I dunno, ten rounds 'a this an' see. Or less. We're basically waitin' until Eirin's done circumcising people." Wait, hold on what-

"Maria…" Una freakin' speaks up again, dude. "Hi."

Maria just gives 'er a blunt look! "What…? Hi."

Hoh. I've got an idea, dude. If Tewi was right, and this place is really accurate to the actual Eientei… if we go really off the wall and just out of bounds the entire thing, we might find some good secret shit, dude.

"Spooky…" Ooh? Ah, Maria looked out the front door, and saw some static lighting that began in the distant bamboo!

"Nnn…" Ha-chan looks all scrambled, dude. "Whau…"

"Alright…!" Since I am the video game person amongst us, I shall lead us! "I shall… vaguely lead us in one direction."

No one disagrees with me, dude. Genkan an' Maria are currently not warm to the idea of this situation, so they just kinda meander towards me!

"Y'know where you're goin'?" Tewi gave me a vague look!

"Yes and no!" Yeah, dude! "Let's go~..." Let us go in the vague direction of that giant noob rabbit we saw chained to a wall.

I march outta the lobby and to the left-

Vree~r. A little siren went off, dude. "Threat level minor, front lobby and hallway A." Some chick spoke over a speaker! "Non-lethal anti-personnel options authorized."

"I'm not particularly enthused by the mission objective, here." Genkan expressed her diciness with this, yo.

"I got no idea where to go, so I'm marching us into weird places!" I announce ta her! "I've always been curious how the rabbits fight seriously, too." Like this, we won't have to actually be wanted for a crime!

"...This is true." Genkan agreed with these sentiments, dude. "Still, this space is still so strange." We shoulda began with a freakin' 'walk in a badly rendered park' simulator.

...Aw. Tewi's- gone. Where the frik'd she go…?

"You!" Me! Oh, shit…

Cla- clack, clack. The bunny girl response is pretty much instant! They all hold up these big, white and vaguely blue-lit rifle things… there's like, six of them already, all ahead.

"Ah…" Genkan looks intimidated already! "They're armed."

"He- hey, lemme…" Una-girl meanders ahead of us, and gives up a wave. "They'll listen to me, pretty sure." I don't think this is a negotiation simulator!

Steppin' out before all 'a us, Una holds her arms up. "Hey, uh. Not sure what we did, but-"

PATAT- PATATAT- PATATAT! Oh, holy shit, they ain't even stoppin' for words! Blue-cyan bolts roar from their guns in wild streams, focusin' down the smaller rabbit…!

fwi- fwish! "Holy- crap!" Una avoids the first series 'a downward shots by the hairs of her legs! Y'know, I feel like ballistics would be more threatening, even if those plasma bolts are too fast for humans. Like- ballistic danmaku…! Maybe that'd defeat the point...

As the bolts strike the ground, they just kinda fizzle out, leaving a little glow where they were. Yeah, these seem like danmaku bolts...

"That's-..." Even seeing that, Genkan turns ta me! "Brad, we have to go." Ho ho!

"Hi." I turn to her. "I mean, they're just shootin' danmaku…!"

"...This is true." Hoh. She doesn't freak out just yet!

"Hey, um." Maria points ahead to Una! "Are we gonna save-"

PATATATAT! Uh oh. Una made a mistake in her distracting dodge dance, and uh-

Thud. Aw, she got mowed down, and just ragdolled! A green, staticy effect ran across her form, after she flopped onto her back like a freakin' doll. It didn't look healthy!

"O- oh, no…" Maria held her hands to her mouth!

KRI~NG! Woah! Genkan threw her arms up, makin' us a shield with her big ice blade that she likes to erect. "Brad, Maria, come to me."

"Um- okay…" Fluffy and distilled, Maria huddles up towards her.

Comin' up to her myself, I let her grab onto me. "What's yer plan, yo…?"

Latchin' onto both of us around our waists- "Hu~p…" Genkan lifts us, and-

CRA- CRA- CRACK! The glass doors ahead at the front of the lobby explode, frost glazing the clear material…

"Aa- aah…" Wait, wat.

Ona stumbles from the air next to us. "...I thought I got hit." Wait.

I look back through the ice blade, and see her freakin' danmaku-ified body. Then I look back at her! Do we just get- free respawns from danmaku attacks!?

"Yo!" I turn ta Genkan! "We should push offense instead! We get free respawns- from danmaku shit!"

...She just gives me a vexed look! "What…?"

clack. We pissed around enough for a bunny to turn the corner of the ice blade, her weapon aimed at us-

"Stop!" From Genkan's arms, Maria thrust her staff forward!

KA- KLINK! Prisms flare into the air around the suit-clad, green-haired bunny, and she's stopped.

Patatat- PATATAT! But we get shot at from behind! Oh- shit, too many rabbits!

"Oh- ah…!" Genkan begins to throw her gaze around, frazzled! "So many! Freeze!"

FWA- FWA- FWASH! Oh, god. Big ice particles are splashing around the room, as energy shields protect the bunnies from freezing-

"Stop!" Maria's just gonna spam the OP spell, isn't she. "Stop!" Ho~h. Hoo~h…! Maybe I should get out some hangers, dude.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"We- we're getting pushed back!" We eventually manage to blow away the six rabbits, by the virtue of endless respawns. I died like six times, Genkan twice, Maria like thrice, Ha-chan about fifteen- I lost count, and Una- I wasn't even really watching Una! She doesn't seem to be able to do much against the energy shielding!

"It's a good thing we just do not die…!" I run after the now-shieldless rabbit, with my big revenant hanger of doom over my head!

"Spe- specialist team…!" Speakin' into her earpiece, the grey-haired rabbit gets onto her legs, and-

FWA- KRAFWASH! I cleave One Million Revenants down inta her, and it phases through her body before getting ejected out, launching itself from my arms…!

"Oou- hou…" There we go. She's tired now, dude. That time skip was super necessary, because bunny soldiers literally just do not die. They are fucking tenacity incarnate! Between that regenerating shield which seems to be like on par with their bodily resistance, and the fact their bodies naturally regenerate to begin with, and their super aggressiveness, they're freakin' beasts, dude.

CLA- CLACK! My good hanger bounces off the ceiling, before clatterin' on the floor. I go to retrieve it, dude…

I've just been spamming that cleaving attack that phases through them ludicrously, 'cause it's the only thing that really seems to faze them! And- I just found out, that it takes like five or six uses of that to take down what I think's a regular bunny soldier, without her shield. When they do have the shield up, the attack literally bounces right off. Freakin'... jeez, dude!

...Also, I tried the magic from Fallen Comrade. Not a smart idea! I should try my bomb hanger. Do kabooms do well on shields? Freakin'...

"I'm beginning to see the purpose of this." Genkan speaks, now that we're all free! "In here, we don't tire, and we keep getting chances to prove ourselves. It really is, simply… a combat simulator."

One thing I found interesting was that a lot of the bunnies went to do melee attacks on us but just stopped, as if somethin' was stopping them. Not that it'd matter, 'cause in cyberspace, we're painless abominations.

"It's even more convenient, 'cause apparently danmaku stuff just respawns us." I mention! "Now we can really explore!" Every time we respawn, we just appear near one another, too. The good respawning, dude.

Anyway, I was always curious what the frik's behind this one door in the lobby, behind the counter. Thankfully, there is no virtual Reisen here to make us eat the big one.

Crea~k. Navigatin' around everyone and pushing it open, I find that… it's a bunch of cabinets! While I can't acquire anything in this weird space that is virtual reality, I can scout out the place!

"Come on." Genkan gestures for us all! "We're going to the research center, again." Yes, dude!

"Hoh." I agree, dude.

"Nothing hurts!" Ha-chan exclaims! "I dunno why, though…" Son, have you been listening. I know she's no 'son' but that was worthy of goin' 'son' to…!

"Yeah, I wonder." Maria nods, at that… "We'll just never know."

Abandoning the filing cabinet room, I join the girls in joggin' on ahead towards the far end 'a this leftmost entrance hallway.

There's nothin' much down it. I wonder if there's some kinda AI the things here run on, or-

CHIUM. What the fuck was that. That was loud!

THUD! Oh. Genkan's body rebounds against the ground behind me, sent skidding back like fuckin' fifty meters, all the way down the next hall behind us. Holy fuck…!

Then, she appears next to me, looking a little confused! "That-... that was disorienting." This may be VR, but seeing my party member's corpses just skid away, while hilarious, is also kinda morbid…! There's also like twenty dead people in the lobby now that aren't bunnies, because the corpses don't go away. That was probably pretty confusing for them…!

"What the heck." Maria wasn't sure what all that was now, either.

"It's-..." Una caught up with us! "It's a sniper…" Oh. Considering how instant respawns are-

CHIUM.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...Wo- wow. As I was saying- considering how instant respawns are, this is little more than a mild annoyance!

Freakin', had to refind my balance after respawning. Imagine if this was a real assault. Provided, I think the danmaku here's a lot quicker to 'kill' than it normally is, but I feel like us instantly dying to a single danmaku sniper round of invisible velocity is about accurate.

"That scared me." Genkan gets closer to me…! "This realm may not be real at all, but things like that still look real. It'd be sort of scary if they didn't look real, considering-... well, it does look it."

I have the advantage of growing up with with video games, so the environment immediately lets me disassociate from any prospective horror!

CHIUM. ...Did that hit anyone? How far ahead is this sniper!?

"Owie." Ha-chan appears next to me! "I fell over!" I like how this is basically just real life for Ha-chan, except with no timer on the respawn.

Oh- I see 'er! This sniper bunny has a bright, pastel yellow suit, and a reticle thing on her right eye. Naturally, she's also got this freakin' flat rifle held up…

"Eye-distance!" She yells too, making it even easier to see her! "Repositioning!" She also tossed some kinda orb out…

clack. It met the ground, and made some kinda mist-like, blue rift over it. It's flat and board like, but also misty! S'weird!

fwish. Oh. Somethin' came from the plane rift thing! It's a little yellow robot. Aw, and it even slides around! If only it was a tubby fluff, then I woulda died dude.

The yellow roller roomba thing comes up to us, and- oh, it opens up into a four-legged… thing! It's not a spider really, but it's not a dog either. Daa~h.

Fwa~m- za- za- zap. From every seam on its plastic-metal body, electricity visibly arcs out, connecting with Maria. Oh.

"Wo- oo- oa- aah…!" Maria's body vibrates involuntarily from the zapping!

...After we all stare long enough, I turn to Ha-chan! "Ha-chan!" Yer AFK, dude!

She looks at me. "Hi!" Son.

I point at the electro-rover! Also, there's three of them now.

FWA- FWAM! Maria's body is now super jittered, three clusters of electricity repeatedly initializing on her. "Yo- you know- if this was real- I'm sure it'd hurt…!"

Moving forward, Ha-chan crouches to hug one. "Aw. They're all tiny…"

Cla- clack. She catches one, and it tries to whirl around in her embrace, before surrendering.

FWA- FWA- FWASH! Electricity roars up her form! "Hehehe~! Aww..." She looks back at me! "I can't feel the good feeling like this either…" Aw. No pleasure emulation from resistances, huh. This VR's gotta get on that, so I can have my virtual porn dude.

"I think my body's gonna die." Maria says something very surreal! "...I never thought I'd say that."

"Here." Genkan holds up her arm-

WHACK- THUD. A big danmaku icicle hit Maria in the face, and she died. It just vaporized instantly, upon hitting her…!

But then she returns! "Ow." Now with full hit points, dude.

"This is silly." Genkan shook her head!

FWA- FWA- FWASH. Now Ha-chan's walkin' ahead, covered with little yellow rover things! "There- there's a lotta' them…!"

Woosh. Gliding past her, Genkan moved ta fluff up the sniper, 'cause she seems to specialize in annoying attacks.

Y'know, I wonder how far ahead the freakin' science lab is. I don't even know if we're goin' the right way! Also, Tewi just kinda disappeared earlier. Freakin'...

There's a lotta doors around us. Maybe we should invade one for no reason!

Comin' up to a metal door, room number five hundred seven-E, I clasp the handle, and swing it open!

Crea~k! Swung it did, dude. It is… a regular check-up room. Those damn dirty bastards, dude- how could they, dude.

KRI- KRI~NG! Down the hall, Genkan erects glaciers 'n' shit. The others have already kinda scuttled ahead to help out, and uh…

Ha-chan waddles by me, encumbered and snug. "He- he~lp…" Aw.

ZA- ZAP! Oh, shit. Ahead, there's another electro-rover horde, making a mess of everyone else. "Get- away…" Genkan flails her arms at them, but they just keep coming! "Where are they coming from…?"

FWA- FWASH. While she freezes some, I meander on ahead. "It's- the blue rift thing!" I point to the blue shimmery thing on the floor! And-

fwish. I was right! It just, infinitely spawns electro-rover fellas. That's seriously annoying!

FWASH. Now Genkan froze that, dude. And then-

FWAZAP! Oof. She ragdolled, after getting shocked again…! Jesus, this VR tech, dude…

She appears next to me, again. "Out of curiosity, I'd like to know how strong these things really are…"

Maria raises her staff! "Thunder!" Oh, oh boy-

FWA- ZAP- THWASH- ZAP!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We've reached the science labs! Now we can super explore! It only took thirty minutes of the hardest soft-locking situation ever.

PATATAT- PATATAT- PATAT! Also, we got found by a lot more rabbits, and it's actually pretty hectic! They're behind us, just, really fucking going at us.

FWASH. Behind us, anyway. Genkan just leisurely bars off the halls behind us with big dumb ice swords, 'cause yeah. Even if they do something smart and instantly wipe some of us, the instant respawns are good. The actual objective right now is to explore, not fight the undying, marching army!

"They're really tenacious…" Even Maria agrees! "Like-... we haven't been doing anything but fighting back for the past thirty minutes, and they just really want us dead. I dunno how realistic that is."

CHIUM- CRACK! Also, they got more snipers. Which is, holy shit. They can shoot through Genkan's ice blades, which is cool and good.

Maria flops over, dead. What, no.

...She reappears next to us! "I- I kinda jump a little, every time that happens."

"Danmaku isn't this potent." Genkan figured… "Considering what the rabbit said, I assume they'll use actual lethal force at some point." That's true, probably. When they do, we'll get ejected pretty much instantly!

Anyway, we're now in these weird, azure-hazed and teal-lit halls. It's like… the dentist's office: deluxe edition.

Some ways into the complex of halls and lobbies, we come up to a glass door. Since pain doesn't even exist, I just-

CRA~CK! Walk straight through! "Hello~! Yo ho-... ho." There's no one in this room!

Oh. Well, there's a thing on a hovering bed, which is interesting. It's a-... whah. What the fuck.

A stereotypical 'grey' alien is lying on the bed, its black eyes open and staring eternally up. Its skin is weirdly decrepit lookin', and-... huh. How's this even exist.

The rest of the thing's not super humanoid, even. Odd combinations of rust-colored bones, and very smooth flesh that reminds me sort of like… the surface of a blueberry, 'cept grey.

"What-... is that?" Maria was in next! "That's creepy…" She fluffs up, dude. It did make my hairs stand up a bit, too!

Una's still with us, even if she's not worth mentioning most of the time! "Aah. I think I've uh, seen these!"

"...They're nothing I recognize." Genkan eyes the single grey alien thing warily! "Neither youkai, animal, nor human. Not that my senses are keen, in here."

"They're alien things." Una explains for me! "But, this sample's really old. No one's allowed in here, normally. I think it's dead." I mean, I'd believe that, lookin' at this thing!

There's nothing much else in this room other than the hover bed that thing's resting on. There's a big machine on the left, hooked up to this greenish cylindrical thing positioned over the alien.

Wait. To the left of the big machine…

I come up to a very techno-looking treasure chest! Dude! "Yo- I found loot!"

"Are you kidding…" Genkan looks bewildered! "A- a… technological treasure, in here?"

"Yes, dude!" It's time to steal the goodie! "Aw…"

It's got a swirling blue, electricity-powered crest where there might normally be a lock, and visually there's no way to even get it open. Does it open? Wait- there's a seam-esque design here, so it must open...

Thunk. I try ta hit it open with my holy hanger from hell, but the box refuses.

"Here." Floatin' on up to it, Genkan holds her arm out.

FWASH! It's frozen! Then, Maria comes on up to it! "Fire!" Oh, yo-

KRA- KRACK! The ice explodes around the chest, and some of the metal cracks with it, but it doesn't open. Shit, dude. Treasures are getting tough!

"...Idea." Maria begins ta raise her time staff. "Stop!"

KA- KLINK! The weird ass prisms of time fuckery appear around the chest, and the clock hands, as it stops. "Genkan!" Maria calls for help!

KRI- KRI- KRI- KRI~NG! Holdin' out her arms, Genkan repeatedly roars ice blades up into the techno-box, and they constantly smash into it! It's loud as shit and also a big visual splendor, from all the shimmering ice shit that gets ejected from the time-stopped box!

...An' then the stop spell stops itself-

KABAM! BAM BAM BAM BAM! Holy shit! The whole box was ejected from the floor, bouncing against the ceiling within one second-

CRACK- WHABAM. I- I had ta fall outta the way of it as it bounced forward, mostly on impulse, 'cause it came at me! We made it mad, dude!

...Oh, it was apparently something rooted into the floor, too, 'cause the floor metal came with it after it was ejected. The top lid is now smashed the fuck open, all bent up and de-powered!

Reaching into it, I take out a-...

What the fuck is this. It's some kinda-... is this a fuckin' lung, or something? But- it has a gun handle! Maybe that's bone. But, it's not rust-colored… it's sorta pale blue, but the organ thing on it still has a skin-like texture, like the alien's, even despite its cyan tint.

"Um…" Genkan can't even begin to describe it, herself! "What."

There's a tag attached to what I think was a bone or ligament or attaching vein or something… "Yo, help. Can't read Joopeneese…!"

Smiling disapprovingly, she invaded my personal space to look at the tag card… "Ah, hm, let's see. It's apparently called-... Callisto NTG." A who. "This card describes it as… an example of excellent stock extra-terrestrial design. It can fire shots as fast as any other SMG, or it can fire high velocity piercing rounds with fire rate and accuracy drawbacks. Not that I quite know what any of this means…"

How do you fire this, though. It's- it's a lung. What the fuck. I thought this would be an organ sample. Unless- the alien is made of impromptu weaponry…!

"Uh." I have no idea how this works. I cannot even begin to fathom how this works. "Maria. Can ya find like, a mana thing with it…?"

She shook her head. "There's-... some kind of energies in it, but it's not magical in a way I know about. It's all scrambled, and-..." Intently focusing on it, she eventually came to a deduction. "If I didn't know otherwise, I might say it just has ambient mana and someone screwed up trying to enchant it." Wow. "But, it's easy to say that if you don't understand something…"

Cla- CLACK. Wait, what…

Oh. Ha-chan deactivated the hoverbed, and the alien fell out. Uh. "Oops…" Yeah, oops. Oops indeed. It's a good thing none of this is real, 'cause fuck…!

PATAT- PATAT! Oh, no, yo! The bunny parade found us, and has danmaku rifles! Aaa~h!

"Oh- will you screw off…" Genkan addresses them more as an annoyance than a threat!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Alright yo- we're lookin' for that big chained up girl. I wanna see how she reacts in-simulation.

...Also, we gotta ask Eirin about that alien shit later! That's interesting! I uh, put the Callisto thing in my bag, but I doubt it'll be there later.

Thud. As we moved ahead, Genkan tossed down the like thirtieth defeated bunny soldier. "Un- ngh…" They never get easier. They also seem to adapt to our strategies, so literally only Stop and Genkan's instant-pain magic do anything anymore! I get close, and they're either just gone or whacking me away with the butt of their gun. Also, they've begun to like, use shotguns.

vuup. This little shield drone bobs in the air before us. Oh, yeah, they also have drones that give them more shields and shit, because they definitely needed more. Now Genkan has to cast freeze like thirty times to crack their shields, which is awesome, dude!

"Stop!" Maria thrusts her staff at the bobbing shield bot!

KA- KLINK! Aw. You know what's fun about this? When she freezes the shield-giving bots in time, it also freezes the shields of the bunnies they buff, sorta like inadvertently freezing them in time too. It's actually pretty awesome!

I can only hit the stopped noobs, dude. Bunny soldiers are so fast that I can't see them reposition themselves, half the time. It's seriously jarring!

Movin' down the glass door halls again, we near a good landmark. I can see the black metal-shielded walls of the super secret zone, and the glass door of the place that held the chained girl. Ho ho~h…

"There." Genkan sees it, too! "We've been here, before. Let's investigate." Yeah, dude!

"But, should we…" Maria wondered, dude.

"Yes." Genkan is way more enthusiastic when fatigue isn't on the line!

KRI~NG- CRA- CRACK! She erected an ice blade through the glass door, disintegrating it.

Shu~nk. It lowered into the earth, lettin' us meander in…

CHOOM- CHO- CHOO- CHOOM! Oh- shit! The scientist bunnies- they shoot danmaku from their fingers!

Fwoo~m! One of them's wearing a ruby red ring, with a weird pattern, which lights up amber, a waft of flames rolling out towards us! Holy shit- their jewellery are weapons!

FWASH! Throwin' her arm out, Genkan froze a few of them, including the one with a flamethrower for a ring. "These weapons-"

Thunk! She ragdolled, after a different bunny shot a super damn bright, neon-green laser from her cross-shaped ring. "We have a break in! Where's the security!?"

"Upgrade threat- they've already vandalized numerous unattended labs on the network!" Oh, shit, the bunnies actually talk! We didn't hear much from the others, and I was kinda ignoring code like 'alpha beta zippity doodah'... so this is a surprise!

Genkan appears again, looking fluffy. "This is actually very satisfying stress relief, you know…" I like how video games turn us all into edgy people. It doesn't seem like randomly generated bunny soldiers bleed, and when they do, they're not very detailed about it. Our corpses though, those get the works! Not that we see much of that.

I think this whole danmaku thing might be a phase or something, where we get acclimated, since some of the ways we've died has not been by danmaku. As in, once we reach the 'lethal' phase, perma-death comes from all sources instead.

"This is coordinated!" A scientist bunny yells out, from somewhere! "Someone- contact Eirin!" Aw.

"Threat level updated." A voice spoke over the intercom again! "Maximum non-lethal response authorized. Threat level four. X-thirteen-K Doz-K-eight area denial series deployed." Uh oh. A who.

CLA- CLACK! Across the room, the big chained bunny began to struggle! "Ngh- rrh…!" Yo ho ho!

I run up ta her! "Yo- we're gonna break ya out!"

SNAP- SNAP! Her jaw snaps at the air before me. "Nn- nrgh…!" Aw. She's very friendly, apparently.

"Stop them!" Oh, shit. One of the scientist bunnies run at me! Oh- ah, remember my training!

Slap! I slap her boob!

Her hands grab my head-

kri- krack!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...Ow. Wow, that didn't go nearly as well as I thought! That was fucking instant…!

The bunny scientist who snapped my neck is now frozen in time. Maria seems ta be working on heating that trapped chick's shackles, for lack of us understanding the console controls.

Thud. Una flops down next to me, dead again! Freakin', it's always a madhouse when we gotta freakin' deal with noobs…!

FWA- FWASH! After long enough, Genkan's finally frozen all of them. Man, imagine how much pulling teeth this would all be if this was real life. We'd all be super dead, and if we weren't, getting here would probably take years or something!

"Alright." Floating up to us gingerly, Genkan saw the red hot shackles. The bunny trapped here didn't seem to mind, so… hoh. "Now."

CRA- CRA- CRA- CRACK! The five metal binds exploded at Genkan's application 'a cold to the heated metal!

"Auh- nngh!" Free from her binds, the big bunny looked her hands over! "Rrgh- nngh…"

"Hi." I wave at her. "...We uh, we freed-"

WHAM.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Wow. She punched my head off, dude!

"Um…" Genkan's eyes widened at that! "We may have made a mist- ahu…"

In the next moment, the big bunny reached forward, grabbing Genkan by the leg and the shoulder with her arms. Uh-

RII- RII~P! Genkan's shoulder is torn from her body, strings of red splattering down to the floor from between the two halves. Genkan got ripped in fucking half and- Jesus…

...I don't think I like where this is going!

RII~P! Holy shit the gore detail. With her now red arms, the big rabbit took to her leg she had a hold on, and actually tore the thigh from the pelvis.

Thu- thu- thud. Genkan is now useless, red and blue parts on the floor. I- uh, can't stare at that for too long, despite my morbid curiosity...

...Even though she's already next to me again, I uh, wow. Haa~h, the price of realism. Y'know- it ain't often somethin' makes me queasy!

"Aaa~h!" Scream, Ha-chan, scream! Deja vu...

"...That was scary." Genkan confirms!

"Stop!" Maria thrusts her staff forward, now in the bunny's face!

KA- KLINK! Oh, wow, that works, huh. Just fuckin' stopped it in its tracks!

"Let's leave it be." Genkan advises! "Better they have something stronger than us, to deal with. Gives us more time." Aw, yeah. Rabbit soldiers versus the incredible bunny hulk.

"I agree!" Let's skedaddle! "Freakin', super soldier in here!" Literally ripped Genkan apart just by thinking about it an' movin' her arms. Jesus, fuck! Glad we fuckin' passed her up, in the real go! Maybe those shackles were on her for a reason!

I also don't wanna stare at the red corpse parts. Just thinkin' about if that really happened, destroyin' a person I know's smart and has shit ta live for- eugh. Not the time to think about that!

We get outta the door, and look around…

"High alert." Aw, yes dude! Just what we all wanted! "Special agent released: Torture." Special agent Torture. Mm, mm, yeah- that sounds good. Just what we wanted! We've released one of the four bunnies of the apocalypse onto the world, apparently. Torture.

"Rhe- hi- hi- hi- hi~r!" Oh, who the fuck're you, now. This is becoming a mess…!

With that stuttering, techy raptor screech, a fuckin'... what is this!?

Cla- clank! Cla- clank! A rusty bulldozer with legs sprinted down the hall towards us, a beacon of teal light glowing ominously from a little tower at the top of its boxiness. Even that tower thing was armored with rusty plates, heavy and mean.

...Also, I mean the vehicle bulldozer, not the Payday kind! But, this thing looks like it serves about the same purpose.

Tink- Tink- Tink- Tink! Coming closer to us, it raises its two 'arm' things, which are just bulldozer… scoops? Blades? Aw. If the technical term is blades, are bulldozers allowed in sword fights?

Literally just a tiny bulldozer on stubby little hoppy legs. What the hell can this thing do.

"Stop!" Maria cheeses it!

KA- KLINK! ...But, it doesn't stop, and just wades through the prisms of time magic. Oh. It's uh, time immune.

FWASH! Genkan thrusts her arms forward to freeze it, but it has an energy shield which ripples to life to stop that from working. Good.

I come near it with my hanger! "Alright, son, you asked for-"

CLANK! It slammed both blades down into the floor at once-

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Brad's really gotta be more careful about getting himself killed. His body just flailed past us, after the thing sent out a giant, luminescent shockwave. The floorboards beneath it cracked and gave away to the attack, and me and Genkan were almost thrown off balance, at first…

He's next to us, again. "Je- Jesus…!" I think that's some kinda outsider-swear, or something. It does sound like 'jeez'.

This thing's also got strong anti-magic fields about it, which is foreboding. Um…

We all stumble back from the expanding shockwave, because it's pretty scary. Eventually, it just kinda fades out.

Bwo- bwo- bwo- bwomp! Aah. A slot opened on the top of it, and it shot these little orbs out-

Fwo- ROR! Ah…!? Static energy flared from the orbs when they landed around us. Big, green fields start to contain us, unable to be touched... ah. A laser is extended from the static-projecting orbs themselves, to tether us within the static.

"Thu- thunder!" I might as well do something, since no one else-... ah. I can't… 'feel' my mana like this. I can't tell if it's just an effect of this emulation or not, but something from this bubble is silencing me.

"Um…" Genkan is stuck in a similar spot. "Great. Silencing…"

"Silencing!?" Brad is just blown away by everything. As he should be, because this whole simulation is pretty freaking ridiculous, but… I think the most surprising thing for me is just seeing everyone die in different ways, so readily. It keeps happening so abruptly, and knowing that this whole simulation's not real…

Oh, yeah. My big worry is that one of us gets too used to this, and then finds out this is actually all accurate, and then one of us dies to something that really does kill as fast as it does in here. But, I think we're all smart enough to share this worry…

"I- I, um…!" Well, then there's Una. I don't… really care about her? She seems weirdly attracted to me, and while she's pretty cute, I'm busy and stuff.

Hana ends up next to me somehow, and gets tethered into the mix of weird radial bubble silencing things. "I got scrunched!" Uhm?

BOOM! Woah! Smashing through the wall of the room we left, that big bunny is back out here!

Cla- clank! The rusty super robot turns to her, and stands up-

THO- THOOM. Planting both arms on it, she lifted it up, and flipped it upside down…!

BOOM- RI~P! While slamming it down into the floor, and plunging it down into it, she also claimed a yellow panel on the back of it, making it go dark by severing it from the base. "Rrgh!" By 'into it', I mean, the rusty thing was submerged under the wood.

...clack! It hit something a floor below. Wow.

fwoomp. The orbs binding us die out. I guess that solved that problem.

"Proto-non lethal model neutralized." We hear the announcer lady again. Is the word 'announcer'… or something else? "Lethal defense force has been authorized. Threat level five." Five, huh.

"Rgh…" Uh oh. The big bunny's turning to us, again.

CLA- CLA- CLA- CLACK. There were some loud noises behind us…! Why's everything suddenly come out to smash us?

The black metal wall of the super-secure portion of the clinic had begun to fold away seamlessly. I can tell why, too: there's metallurgy magic of an insanely intrinsic degree lined up all along it, in millimeter-by-millimeter segments. I keep wanting to stop and take a look at it, because it is really cool, but we were told not to stop and poke at things. Hence, um, Torture.

Squ- squeak. Something glides out, black wheels squeaking on the ground below.

It's wider than this entire hallway, but just shy of the height, which-... seems to have gotten taller, than the last time I looked at it, which bodes well for us.

It's that giant, grey metal turret on a chassis we saw, hooked up to the similar three-limbed base that ended in the three wheels that it's currently riding on.

"Oh, shit." Brad shits himself again. It's probably for good reason, too. That's a really big cannon.

"Ngh- raa~h!" Ah- hey! The big chick pushed me aside, which would've hurt if I actually felt anything in this computer land. I landed on my own side, and hit my head and everything.

Bam- bam- bam- bam! Sprinting up to the turret, the big bunny leaped towards it-

Clang! Landing on the base of it, she began to climb-

VRRR- VRRRR~! From the base, two slots opened. Sawblades rolled out, cleaving straight through her arms, blood spritzing… everywhere. Ugh. Couldn't they have, like-... turned blood off or something? Seeing Genkan-... what happened to Genkan was gruesome enough.

SHINK! From a smaller slot in the chassis, a knife plunges out, piercing the bunny's throat, and deep.

shi- shi- shink. The blades all retract, and Torture falls to the floor in red pieces. What're we supposed to do.

"Stop!" This isn't gonna work. I feel my mana act to alter the time flow… or, as well as I can feel my mana in this space, at least.

KA- KLINK! It didn't work!

FWASH! Genkan made the outside of it frosty with a flourish of her arms, but that was it. "I sort of wish that last machine was back, now…"

"Me too!" Brad begins to actually back away…? "Y'know- we're gonna run!" Aah. Why…

Ka- Pow! Ah. The thing fired a- cartridge thing, from its thing. Maybe I should be more specific…

The orange projectile touches down near Genkan in a moment-

KABOOM- FWOOM- BOOM- BOOM! Oh my god! Wh- woah- what happened!? That was loud-

Thu- thu- thunk! Waves of a spiral of metal, incendiary rounds meet me in the chest. Genkan exploded in the flash of white-amber fire, and- oh, so did Brad.

Thud. I- I didn't die instantly upon falling, for some reason.

That last blast was-... was that a mortar, like in the books? I'd always imagined a mortar being more like… a splash of fire, and not, well, a rain of bullets and explosions, and fire. And by fire I mean, you know, the amber force of a blast, not actually an inferno. The whole hallway is burning.

CLA- SHOOF! Aah- the machine rolled up, its chassis sliding into me and pushing me-

SHI- SHI- SHI- SHINK! A wave of combat knives rolled out from inside it, piercing my flesh in rows. It's so in my face that I can't help but feel the hairs on my neck stand up. This is as uniquely terrifying as it is kinda fun…

O- oh, this is weird. I'm just-... getting sleepy…

shu- shu- shu- shunk.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...A- ah.

Where am I. "Ah… guys?" Wo- woah. I'm-... my head's all mixed up, again.

Instinctively, realizing where I am, my hands reach for the goggles on my face, and lift them. I didn't even make them do that, they just kinda did that...

Oh. The simulation must be over, because Brad and Genkan have theirs off. Una is still in there, and so is Hana, somehow.

Genkan turns to me, blinking like she's finding her senses. "Maria. What happened to us? And you, for that matter?"

Aheh. "...You exploded. It used fire." It was pretty much instant. Brad was left as a like, slab of black stuff, and you literally vaporized. I'm pretty sure I was burning too, but fire doesn't mean as much with no pain.

...Bringing my arms up, I use a hand to pinch myself-

Ow- ow, ow! The pain just spiked really hard, for some reason! I- I shake my hand, and my body sort of shivers…

"Ha~h." Tewi yawned, laying on the table across from us for some reason. She had a manga out, it looks like. "First thing I oughta tell all a' ya, is that yer pain's heightened for the next hour 'er so. Doctor's orde~rs."

"Wha- why…?" I have to ask, even if I kinda know why. It's so we remember it better, and to offset how desensitized we've become, probably.

"Why do ya think?" She just gives me a wry look. "Ya spent so long bein' psychopaths, that ya gotta have somethin' remind ya what fearin' death is like! An' what's better than bein' afraid your joints'll crack and fuckin' explode on ya?"

"Wait…" Brad has another excellent idea. Folding his hands forward, he interlocks them to crack them.

kri- krick. He succeeds. "Wh- oo~h, ow…" He shut his eyes. Oh, no.

"Ah…?" Genkan responded immediately. "Are you okay?" Didn't he crack his joints just a few hours ago, too?

"Freakin'- no!" He grinned back at her through the pain. "Holy shit- it's like- ahaha~h! Fuck!" I guess that's his pain reminder.

If that hurts that bad…

I stand up. That kinda happens as normal.

Let's see. I punch myself in the arm. ...It's so weak, that I don't actually feel much of anything from it myself. Alright- this time with feeling…

Whap. I hit myself knuckle-first- oh…

Creak. Sitting back down on the couch, I regret my decision. "...Aa- aa…" Ke- keep quiet about it- keep quiet about it…

"Not you, too…" Ah, darn. Genkan noticed. "Are- are you upset, actually…?" Am- am not. It'll stop once the pain does… eventually.

"I- I didn't think knuckle-cracking could even really hurt…!" After yelling about his pain, Brad uh, naturally tried to crack his knuckles again. He'd already done it once now, so it didn't work at all this time. "Aw."

"Stop hurting yourself." Genkan commanded him. "We should lie down, until this is over." Ooo. That actually sounds pretty fun…

"Incidentally~..." Tewi sat up on her table… seat. "Nice work on gettin' Torture outta her bonds, and then gettin' immediately gored by her." Yeah, that was real fun. I can do without watching my friends die like that ever again, thank you.

Continuing, she explains a little more. "She doesn't exactly have higher brain function outside 'a 'kill trespassers' and 'kill workers that aren't working good'." That's… mmm.

I curl up on the couch. Let's sleep.

That simulation was super draining. It was kinda fun to let loose, especially with how much I usually restrain myself, but-... it was so surreal, and I felt my heart jump more than once. It was like some crazy dream.

It also reminded me of the times we really got almost-killed, like in that kappa's factory, or in that… bar I used to own. Why is there so much death?

"Why do ya guys got a cannon that does so much damage…!?" With a similar line of thinking, Brad gets excited at Tewi in the meanwhile… "And- the bound up supergirl!"

"'Cause guns." Tewi summarizes… "Don't ask me, I ain't one 'a the resident gun nuts. But I do know it's all just in case the big moon in the sky comes back down 'ere, an' fucks with us. As ya saw, the whole super security division's real old."

That does make sense. These more secure, lockdown type areas really are pretty trashy. It's kind of… weirdly serene, but not something I feel like hanging around for awhile, myself. Maybe it'd be okay on a rainy day.

I do know that… this place has a history with the moon people, or something. Keine's history class briefly gave a rundown of nearby Gensokyian entities. They're not super relevant to the village's personal history, but they're near us, so it's good to be informed about them.

cla- clack. Hana's headset comes off. "Wo- wow…! Awh."

Una's apparently already got hers off. "O- ow…" She must've gotten separated from us and ran or something, to survive that much longer.

Still… the amount of weaponry in this clinic is insane. The technology, too. It's more than a clinic or hospital; it's like a tiny society, centered around its military… and medicine, but…

"Well. I don't want to move." Genkan resolves… "Brad, here." She pat on her lap.

"...Oh- just, right now?" He was caught off-guard. "Yer not skittish?"

"But you are." She began to reach for him. "Come here." Genkan's gotten a lot braver with him, which is good. I mean… it's been a little around or over a week that they've known each other, but I don't think that's a reason they shouldn't get close if they like each other. I don't know a lot about the heart, anyway…

This couch is really comfy. I… wanna sleep. And, not think about all the horrible ways we could die in this hospital. Sort of ironic, now that I think about it…

I'm so cozy, somehow.

"Wow!" Hana- stood up, on the cushions!? "Let's do it again!" No, no we- wait no!

She flops towards all of us- uh oh-

Crea- creak! The couch bobs, Hana thumping onto all of us.

By the way ow ow fgh- gods-...! Cra- craa~p! Oh, gods- please no! No! Noo!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Ow. We have… recovered.

Vuu~m. Seikatsu helps, dude. She couldn't join us in the simulacrum for the obvious reasons. She woulda been of little use anyway, considering everything!

Also, the pain's very quickly worn off! I think Ha-chan got us to burn through it all at once by doing that, which was good!

Maria's givin' her a noogie! "Ngh- nnn…!" She's really into it, too!

"He- he~lp…" Ha-chan wiggles helplessly, despite being able to overpower Maria just a few days ago! Maria must be really pumped, dude! "I- I'm getting snuggled!" Or, she's just consentin'...

"Oh, yeah." Tewi gives us a good nod! "When yer all done bein' motherfuckers, Eirin actually wants ta see ya." Ooh?

"...The doctor?" Genkan guessed! "Hrmh. Can't it wait? I'd like to find a nice hazy room, instead…" Aw. That does sound fun, dude.

"I- I thought the whole point 'a you ridin' along was so I'd get ya to the doc." Tewi gives us a weathered look!

...Genkan tilts her head back. "Ah. Well, I-... suppose that's true. Still. There's something comfortable about the communal halls, when this place is at peace." Ho ho~h. Although, it still doesn't have the same feel-good vibe the temple kinda does. The temple's like a nice lazy biome to start your JRPG adventure in! The clinic, uu~h… it's like the city you move to after you crap out yer first boss fight. Or somethin'...!

"S'that so~." Tewi doesn't really comment on that! "...Anyway! Get up, when yer all done bein' weirdos."

I think I'll save the technical questions fer Eirin. Like, what the fuck was that big metal turret. And, the alien gun! And the alien!

Standin' up, I take a nice stre~tch. "Alright, yo. Let's freakin'... let's go, yo."

"...Awh." Maria reluctantly peels herself from goin' monkey girl on Ha-chan. "Wo- woah…" She found standing weird, for a moment!

"Mmm." Genkan looks ready to get this over with! "...Tewi, was it? Do you know any good places to relax?"

...Tewi gives her a flat look from the doorway. "Heh. Maybe…"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We near Eirin's hidey place, dude. We're currently in the black-hazed darkness of the clinic's deepest levels, where the paper doors slide ominously at you sometimes.

"Doc's been real busy." Tewi remarked! "In fact, since ya've been in the neighborhood, she even asked for you clowns specifically."

Ooh? "She did?" That's curious!

"She did…?" Genkan is skeptical!

Maria also looks put off! "She- uh…"

"She did!?" Ha-chan's surprised!

"Um…" Una was staggered by our collective power!

...Tewi gave us the good stink-eye, dude. "Yeah, pro'lly 'cause she wants ta inject deadly neurotoxin inta' yer eyes. I don' actually know…" Wauru, dude.

Comin' up to this one sliding door, Tewi shuffles it open fer us.

Fer a moment, there's a cute little galaxy spiral inside it, but it fades out like it's a hologram, revealing an elevator. "Step on in." Aw.

Yo! Reisen's even in it! She looks all scuffed up…

"im a lugga bug" A fluffle is climbing up the side of her face. Oh, no, dude.

"Where does this go…?" Genkan had a reflexive flinch at seeing a bunny soldier again! "Out of… curiosity."

"The basement." Tewi grinned up at Reisen… "We're feedin' ya to the fluffles. Don't make us make them come ta you."

Her posture slippin' further, Reisen let out a sigh…! "Tewi. Stop freaking them out."

"Ah, they can take a ribbin'." Tewi waved our potential worry off! "Unlike you."

...Taking the fluff from her own face, Reisen lobbed it down!

Tewi caught it, and held it close. "These uh… five 'er so, just came from the headsets. So, understand if they feel a little skittish around ya!"

"Great." Reisen looks done with life, dude. "Thank you, Tewi."

"Aw, don't thank me…" Tewi just kinda meanders off with the fluffle menacingly…! "When you guys're done, I'll catch up wit'cha." Ho ho! "I'mma go get a snack."

Cla- clack. We all meander into the elevator, includin' Una. Reisen gives 'er a passin' look, but just kinda ignores her.

Di~ng. Reachin behind herself, Reisen presses some kinda symbol-labeled button without even lookin' back at it. There's like, a hundred buttons, and none of them are numbered. What the frik…!

Shoo~f. The doors slowly close, and then we're left in the dim blue lighting of this super metal elevator…

Aw. The galaxy hologram comes back, and it looks really awesome! Reminds me 'a the time I played Spore…

"Brad, was it…?" Reisen speaks, amongst our silence! "How'd you get wrapped up, into this?"

Aw. Wait, uh. "Wrapped up inta what…?" Son?

"Oh." Reisen nodded idly! Then, she stared into the galaxy at the center, again. "Nothing, then. Just, you know… nevermind." You're worrying me, son.

That does remind me. Since we're goin' ta see Eirin, and we're like, in the elevator to her anyway…

"Seikatsu!" I call out! "Cloaking, off!"

flick- flick. Seikatsu is here, dude. She's close to me, and super cuddly… and by she, I mean it.

"Ah." Reisen tilted her head back at that, too. "Yeah. Yeah- that makes a lot of sense, now. And…" She looked at Maria an' Genkan, an' Una curiously. "Who the-... who're these."

"Cuddly." I explain fully. "We all snuggle, and we sniff fluffles together."

Reisen got the answer she wanted, dude. "Oh. Okay."

Ding! Aw, the elevator stops!

"Hmm?" Reisen blinked! She looks energized, dude.

Shoo~f. The elevator door opens, and the hologram thing dies out again. A bunny soldier wit' earth green hair, an' two weird… sci-fi crossbow things, walks onboard. None of us exchange any words with her, as the door closes!

"...Full house today, huh?" Once the hologram kicks on, and the elevator's movin' again, she gives us all a snuggly stare… "Fancy meetin' you in this neck 'a the woods, sergeant captain. You lookin' for a promotion to captain of the captains? Not that there's any other captains, but y'know..."

"I'm too tired for your crap today, Shigubaru." Shakin' her head, Reisen leaned against the back 'a the elevator… "Last I checked, in the report, you were about to flop again."

"It's agent Freeshooter, Sarge." 'Shigubaru' sasses her back! "And, what can I say? I don't really care for getting stuck on daycare duty. The village is such a drag. 'Sides, don't think you'd get told this, but I was the one who rendezvoused with that necro-hermit chick."

Starin' at her levelly, Reisen objected! "Uh huh. Well, no one'll tell you this, but you turned a private, minor security detail into a political bartering game. I mean… it wasn't very minor in the end, but we were in an observatory period. This is why you follow orders."

"All I know is, I got stuck on mall cop duty, an' I bagged us a real keeper." Shigubaru sneered, dude. S'not often you see people just be cheesy noobs. "Let's see you miraculously crack cases, from yer little gun jerkoff workshop."

"I could probably crack a skull from there." Reisen says something worrying…! "From here to the far side 'a the barrier."

"Hey, hey. No one said anything about skulls." This other rabbit chick's a real slap on the ass, dude! "...Not that it matters. I'm already gettin' somethin' outta this. Just sorta figured you'd sympathize, with some of the shit you put up with."

"Still." Reisen looked away, at Genkan, fer some reason. "You probably would've gotten more if you did what you were told. Not that it's my place to tell you facts, after a certain point."

Shigubaru exhaled. "Ha~h. I thought orders 'n' discipline were your job."

An' then someone else was in the elevator! "Well, she may get nothing from you people, anyway…" It's- Seiga! Hoh, shit!

"Our soldiers aren't supposed to accept outside compensation in relation to an order." Reisen's gaze locked onto hers… "It's pretty damn obvious what's going on here, and I'll just say: everything happens above the table, negotiation-wise. No bullshit."

"Yes, yes." Seiga waved 'er off! "Trust me. I'd do nothing to make you disfavor me, especially now. Why, I'm in the palm of your hand."

"...Mmhm." Reisen just gives her a vain look!

...Seiga centers herself on Shibadooba- Shigubaru, who she drifted up nexta. "Uchu. How do you put up, with it? With such a mean chain of command?"

I guess Uchu's her first name. I feel like I've seen 'er before, fer some reason. "Pft. When's a chain 'a command not mean?"

Ding! Aw. I think we're there.

Shoo~f. The door opens, and the imposing chicks all file out!

...Maria and Genkan just give me a blank look 'a mystification, and I give a grin of confusion back!

"Wo- woah…" That Una chick begins ta file behind us-

Bo~ng. Seikatsu floats into her, throwing her over! "Ah- ow…" Wahaha!

Wow. This place is a freakin' wreck. Wait-...!

One of those big ass turret things from the upper levels was down here. We all stop and stare at the de-legged super turret!

"Um…" Maria thinks about commenting, then reconsiders!

"I don't like it here." Genkan wants to go home! "Immediate fear." Yeah…!

Man, the metal's all dented-... there's scorch marks fuckin' everywhere, actually, I think this whole room-... actually, it couldn't have been an incinerator room or anything. It's like a weird sciency, smooth lab room, except someone turned it into an incinerator room.

As we follow the big noobs, there's puddles of black shit spattered in weird places.

To the right, on some kind of reception desk, a huge potted plant with big, wart-like growths on its black-brown leaves was frozen in a kaleidoscope of crystalline protrusions from the floor.

"Damn…" Ahead 'a us, Uchu sized up the carnage of the metal room! "The hell caused all this? The mark?"

"Yeah." Reisen confirmed! "The mark you were supposed to recon, not maul."

"Oh, hush." Seiga shushed her! "It ended well for everyone involved."

Wait. On the wall there- there's this big black mark. "What the frik." I point at it…!

...Reisen paused to look with me, and shook her head. "You really wanna know? Actually- stupid question. That was a clerk. For the cabinet system down here." Oh.

...Seiga shrugged innocently. "Ara~. It ended well for most of us, then. I'm sure she was deathly bored of her job, anyway."

Turning to her, Reisen gave her a healthy nod! "I hate you."

"Fufufu." Seiga just chuckles at that! "Ahw. Join the Seiga Fun Club today, Udongein."

...Since Reisen didn't respond and just kept marching, the girls kept following!

"If-... if we weren't requested here, I'd say we should go." Maria announced! "I-... the mana here, all- all over, um, around us…" She's really freaked out! "So much… it's nothing I've ever seen."

We all have to sorta maneuver our way through a sliding door that was jammed open. Except Seiga, who just wall-hacks through, 'cause she's a code junky douchebag, dude.

The next room has great white lights that shine on all the weirdly monochrome, almost pure white furnishings.

Bunny soldiers formed a line ahead, dead and impaled on long, black protrusions from the floor. Their serrated flesh appeared as if a series of tents propped up from their own body, the cloth having been rended before even the skin, leaving the raw, polygonal protrusions visible.

"Ho~ly…" This visual was no~t something I needed to see right away… and- this is coming from me, Jesus!

Man, is this a contrast to what we were just doing, too. But- here it's way more real. It has that definition that the emulation didn't, and it carries that-... weight, kinda, even if we dunno these chicks at all. Also- it's a fuckin' gore palooza, which isn't helping!

Genkan turns her head away, towards me. "That is-... not what I thought we'd be seeing… ah." She turned back to Maria, but she'd already covered her own eyes!

"Holy fuck." Una's eyes were wide! "Whe- when'd… when'd this happen?"

"Today."

Oh, shit. Aw- it's Eirin!

She stepped forward towards us, from a blown-open door ahead.

"Hello, Eiri~n." Seiga gave her a wa~ve. "Not that we haven't already talked, today."

Ignoring her, Eirin gave us all a gesture to follow. "I called you all here for review and opinions. Let's not waste any time." Why me, though…!? I am the most unqualified noob on the planet, dude.

Oh. We passed one of those bulldozer walker things, but it's embedded in the floor. Woah no.

"Say, uh…" I make some chit-chat was we progress! "What're those big, wheely turret guys called? The ones with the fire cannons!"

"Defenders." Eirin explained simply. Hoh! That's... pretty simple, huh. In retrospect, it was a pretty dumb question, but I was just really curious.

We pass on into the next room, which seems to be where Eirin wanted ta lead us. It was in like, the left-back of this big, white-looking room. We moved passed another reception-like desk, some empty shelves and rectangular chairs… freakin', this place is like sci-fi Castlevania...

Ah. We passed through the ruined door, and into a large, bright room. Holy light flooded in from an expanse around us, of I-dunno how big…

It was bright, and kinda hurt in general…!

"Nn- ow…" Genkan starts to hurt just being in here! I see the bunnies fidget noticeably, Seiga didn't react, and-

"Oo~w!" Ha-chan starts yelling! "That hurts!"

...Once my eyes adjust to this like, sunlight-brightness from all around, I center my gaze on the room's center.

CREA~K. chug- chug- chug- chug… Weird mechanical noises come from ahead, from this, uh…

In the midst of the white plate or something we stood on, we see some girl really clamped into place, by huge grey panels, fit with red and blue seams along odd squares of them.

There were eight rectangular panels in total. Two of these big surfaces crushed each limb in place. Where they met in the center, they all pushed close to the core of the being, therefore placing pressure on the entire humanoid body all at once.

Each panel was monolithic in size… like, three meters tall. They're sorta like giant clothespins in a way, except abstract art. Flat, monolith-sized clothespins. Two for each arm, and two for each leg. They were even made of eight parts themselves, with colorful seams running along fractions of each.

fwii- FWII~SH! After a moment, a few of them glow, and we all hafta look away except for some of the burliest girls, the light from them too bright. Then, they begin to dim again…

On further inspection, I can tell the top panels are mounted to the ceiling, and the bottom ones mounted to the floor, somehow.

The girl in the middle has brightly illuminated, almost plant-vein brown tendrils lapping between the seams of the great squares, as if they were worming their way through concrete.

"This is Aeon-K." Eirin described the big machine of binding. Did she mean, hyon-k, dude? Ahu, ahu… oof.

"All it really takes is a significant application of moon and holy energy." Eirin summarized, apparently…? "Her being is of great dark power, so it takes an obscene amount of energy to run this containment."

"Aaa~h!" Ha-chan is still yelling! "Oo~w…!"

...Eirin turns back to us, just kinda ignoring her! "We don't have to remain in here, too long." Ah, maybe not ignoring her, then. "I will ask… what do you know, of this being?" Eirin gestured to the root system trapped between the cracks.

Despite the big fuckin' windows-logo-like machine the thing is trapped between, I can see between the cracks, where the head and torso is getting pressed into. The core itself is mostly roots and shit, but the head isn't covered...

She's got black hair, these real youkai-like purple eyes, and these messy, bloody pigtails-...

Wait. Wai~t. Holy shit.

"That's that freakin' chick at this one bar we visited." I point out… while also pointing, for my pals. "Yeah, uh, I think-… her name's Shikome." I'll be darned. Guess someone did something about her…!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 93

Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Village Revolutionary, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles - Aw, Genkan gave me a summary! I can change elements, skills and resistances depending on the situation! Weaknesses vary…!

NON-EQUIP SKILLS:

Lucky Star - Non-elemental magic that does very random damage to one target. The star is summoned from above, and simply coasts into people.

Scent Pillow - A spell taught by Koakuma. The end-game strat, dude.

World's Wimpiest Fireball - A spell learned from a book given ta me by Patchouli. Not very good for anything…! May dry out targets.

Lumen - Low-grade holy spell that eats mana. Requires a source of holy to actually be cast. Homes in on an enemy and deals a burst of mediocre holy damage.

Double Jump - The good skill. Allows the user to completely cancel their falling momentum and jump again.

NERF Marauder Combo - A wimpy, back-and-forth slapping motion, one hand on the very bottom tip of a hanger's handle. Relies on the weapon itself to just bean a person's head! The way it works allows attacks to be chained together easier.

Combo Length - Brad's combo length without equips is one. He's really good at this, dude.

Reflex IX-1 - No strike combo finisher! Reeling the plant hanger over his head, Brad charges it with magic and just fuckin' whunks it down like a club! Weapon effects are stronger. Attack is stronger with great hangers. Known as Cleave to swordsmen…!

Secret Strike AS-1 - One strike combo finisher. After a single swing, Brad can drive the hanger back under the arm that swung it, pivoting himself around and getting in a sneaky gut thrust on an opponent with the weapon's tip. Works best with great hangers. May hit twice. Known as Tonfa Turnaround.

Barrel Break IX-2 - Two strike combo finisher. Reeling the hanger back like a bat, Brad freakin' clubs a guy across the head with it! Or, tries to. Stagger and knockback potential! Known as Batter Up to people who aren't Brad!

Switch Shot EX-3 - Critical move. Learned in a moment, after being inspired by Shou's tonfa-related technique. Seeing an opportunity, Brad uses the back of a plant hanger's screw region to pull an opponent past himself by the neck, before rolling the hanger over and into their head. Works best on weaker foes. Known otherwise as Essence of Tonfa * Third Gear. Works best with smaller hangers.

Noob Combo - Blindingly, alarmingly fast unarmed ""melee"" """"combo"""" that does next to no damage, but prioritizes striking weak points and chaining into many, many consecutive attacks.

Pivot Claw - Many strike unarmed combo finisher. Once his enemy is on the ropes, Brad pivots on a shoe, doing a one-eighty rotation with a backwards kick towards his enemy's gut. Might make him lose balance, 'cause it's a whack attack!

INVENTORY:

= = ► EQUIPPED ITEMS:

WEAPON: Fallen Comrade

HEAD: Toyosatomimi's Earmuffs

TORSO: Toyosatomimi's Regalia

PANTS: [Toyosatomimi's Regalia]

SHOES: [Toyosatomimi's Regalia]

MISC ONE: Toyosatomimi's Cape

MISC TWO: MP Prize Badge

MISC THREE: Carrot Medallion

RESULTING STATUS:

50% darkness resistant

Morale - Survives lethal blows when over half health.

Brave - Resistant to crits, and crits more often.

200% Dispel resistant

100% Silencing resistant

Sound protection.

Moderately improved defense.

Extended prize grab radius.

MP Prizes drop.

Combo Plus from Toyosatomimi's Cape. Combo length is now two.

Combo Plus from most great hangers. Combo length is now three.

= = ►[Bag of Holding] - The best piece of equipment…! It's good, dude! Infinite enough inventory space!

==o==

= ►WEAPONS:

Fallen Comrade - Great hanger made of three smaller ones. Sharper Than Darkness is at the front edge of it with the sickle facing out, and Swordbreaker is along the broad front edge to engage blades. Hard Winter makes up the backbone of the thing and the hilt so that it's actually wieldy! Dark, ice, earth elemental weapon.

STATS:

Slightly debuffs target's physical attack on impact.

50% darkness resistance when wielded.

Attacks are darkness elemental.

Sickle end may make opponents bleed.

SKILLS:

Revenge - Skill that increases in strength when health is lower. Power doubles for each deceased party member. Power is increased by fifty percent for each defeated party member. Fairies count as defeated rather than deceased no matter what. Power and effects depend on current weapon. High accuracy.

Bloody Mess - User bleeds faster and longer. Oof!

Jack Hammer - Y'know, I have no idea if this still works with it as is…!

Generic Buff - Channeling mana into the hanger gives the user a marginal increase in physical stats. Moderate increase to physical defense and offense.

Pulse - Basic dark magic, which creates an influx of dark magic in an enemy's form and stresses their whole body. Reduces magic attack.

Gaia Seed - Basic earth magic which intensifies Earth's pull a little. May make targets slightly tired.

Gaia Bloom - Advanced earth magic, which intensifies Earth's pull, with multiple instances of hazy earth magic. Makes the target tired.

Tundra - Crate-sized spike of ice that erupts under people and throws them off balance. I suppose it'd hurt if you fell on it. Basic ice attack.

Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, before initializing fully by flash-freezing the air all around them.

Combo Plus - User artificially gets an extra hit. Can be canceled out of.

Combo Jump - User cancels out of combos easily.

Frost Trail - User leaves frost in their trail while jumping.

=o=

Lion's Lindworm - Hanger made of the good harp and a guitar hanger thing! It's pretty good, dude! It's- it's also windy, dude...

STATS:

Boosts the power of Wind skills.

SKILLS:

Gust - Basic wind magic. Pushes the feeble. Fee~ble…!

Fairy Dust - Weapon status effect replaced with fairy dust. Wind attacks with this weapon get fairy dust all over the enemy, reducing accuracy and senses.

Sick Ill Harp Cords - Get ready for my next great mixtape…!

Combo Plus - User artificially gets an extra hit. Can be canceled out of. Obtained with combo technology!

Aerial Plus - Forced aerial support! It's vaguely easier to hit aerial foes with it! Obtained with combo technology!

Combo Jump - Allows the user to transition to jumping while mid-attack.

Combo Air Slide - Allows the user to transition to air sliding while mid-attack.

Aero Finish - Combo finishers deal air-toss status, artificially blowing foes into the air. Works best on human-weight foes.

Auto-Sucker - When this weapon is equipped, Brad will always lash out with it immediately.

=o=

Red Scare - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of purplish-red gems and crimson metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Also's got the good NERF gun attached now!

STATS:

Danmaku confuses the target.

Danmaku degrades the target's luck.

Danmaku may berserk the target.

Ignites things with physical impacts.

May berserk targets on physical impact.

SKILLS:

Hellfire Plume - A jet of hellfire. Berserks the targets, and isn't put out as easily. Not quite a grease fire, but unless it's totally frozen into oblivion, it ain't goin' out! Obeys fire resistance like any fire, though.

Fume - Makes hot air fume from the earth below. Might sear the feeble.

Berserk - Non-damaging fire spell which berserks a target for awhile. Can be removed with water or ice stuff!

Danmaku Adaptability - Now that there's a NERF gun on it I can shoot the good danmaku dude.

=o=

Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Boosts the power of water skills.

SKILLS:

Freakin' Leaks! - Can produce limitless fresh hanger water…!

Geyser - Basic water attack. Gush of water erupts from the earth and might fling the feeble…!

Valve - I can control the water flow with this!

=o=

Bee-Fitty-Fore-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Made of a lot of weird freakin' parts and stick bits and piston things. Has a NERF gun slapped onto it too!

STATS:

Danmaku explodes, dealing knockback and splash damage.

Accuracy falls moderately when used to fire danmaku.

SKILLS:

Boom - Hitting stuff makes booms!

Danmaku Adaptability - Can also shoot the good danmaku, dude.

=o=

Fragile Flower - A cute hanger with floral designs and light colors. Aesthetically pleasing!

SKILLS:

Enfeebled - Wielder has halved physical defense and offense.

Cleanse - Basic healing skill which cleanses one target of all debuffs or status problems.

=o=

Dream Hanger - Non-elemental hanger. Black and unassuming metal. Currently balanced, and easy for Brad to use. Has innate magical properties to it.

STATS:

Increases accuracy slightly. Somehow…? So said Genkan.

10% instant death resistance. Hoh…!

=o=

One Million Revenants - Great hanger. Sun, holy, electric weapon. Market Gardener acts as the hilt, followed by Flandre Scarlet's modified Million Bucks. On the tip 'a them, the purple hilty bit of the Headless Horseman's Hanger is there, and Youkai Inconveniencer is tied to it like a flail!

STATS:

Hanger is warm like the sun on contact. Glows in the dark…!

25% Dark resistance.

Boosts the power of sun skills.

Boosts the power of holy skills.

Lowers user's defense slightly.

Attacks are electric and holy elemental.

Farther two thirds of the weapon phase through matter. More reliable the more magic is in the weapon.

Attacks can become magical rather than physical, with more mana in the weapon.

Critical hits during blast jumps.

Youkai Inconveniencer (holy hanger tied to the main body) sometimes deals a second instance of physical holy damage per attack.

SKILLS:

Headless - Summons pumpkin-head danmaku from nowhere to assault targets. One spawns every combo-finisher!

Combo Plus - User gets one more melee attack!

Critical Plus - User gets critical attacks more often!

Magic Attack - Physical attacks phase through targets and do magical damage. Makes chaining together attacks way easier.

Magic Attack - Physical attacks are converted to magic attacks, and fluidly pass through objects.

Flash - Blinding magic. Works best on dark-elementals, but also works on youkai. Humans don't resist it, so it still works on them, with reduced efficiency.

Flashlight - It's a flashlight! Might blind dark youkai, I dunno…

Shine - Basic holy magic. Generates a holy orb in the target's body, randomly battering them with a raw holy gush.

Saturn - Electric holy magic. Creates an expanding shockwave of electricity and holy light in an enemy's form.

Panic Attack! - Run faster when health is lower!

Combo Jump - Allows the user to transition to jumping while mid-attack.

Aerial Plus - Forced aerial support! It's vaguely easier to hit aerial foes with it!

Air Slide Plus - Lets the user awkwardly air slide.

Glide - Replaces my double jump skill with gliding.

High Jump - Increased jump height while running.

=o=

Frost Broker - Hanger-fan hybrid which never melts. Based on that time Shimokoa freakin' gutted me!

STATS:

Deals chilling on impact.

Randomly freezes the user.

Boosts the power of ice skills.

SKILLS:

Freezing Impact - Spreads frost along anything it strikes.

Auto-Sucker - When this weapon is equipped, Brad will always lash out with it immediately.

=o=

London Operating Cross - A cross that lets me summon good 'ol London, yo. Non-elemental in nature. Not actually a plant hanger. London herself uses Fireball, Ice Shard and Thunderbolt, but can only use a few spells before runnin' outta mana. Also fires diamond-shaped patterns 'a yellow, diamond-shaped danmaku. Hoh! Costly-ish to use…!

=o=

Yin-yang Flail - A yin-yang with lots of rope freakin' decoratin' it! Hmm...

NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…

NERF longsword: the sequel - Now I can dual wield these useless, narratively non-existent armaments!

==o==

= ►ARMOR:

Camouflage Kimono - This kimono means business. Doesn't actually help him hide in the brush.

STATS:

150% ice resistance.

50% freeze resistance.

50% dark resistance.

-50% percent fire resistance.

-50% percent burning resistance.

=o=

Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Pink dress with lots of white ribbons. I'm not sure what to say about this...

STATS:

75% time resistance.

=o=

Yellow Racecar Helmet -It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.

STATS:

Fifty percent sun resistance.

100% freezing resistance.

100% blinding resistance.

100% electrical stunning resistance.

=o=

Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it.

STATS:

100% electricity resistant.

100% freezing resistant.

Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.

Zero Gravity - Area of effect spell which removes gravity from debris and the feeble!

=o=

Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' space helmet.

STATS: (alone)

Fifty percent blinding resistant.

STATS: (paired with Lunarian Prototype Space Suit)

100% electricity resistant. Again, yo!

100% resistance to burning and being actively poisoned.

=o=

Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes. Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.

=o=

MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field.

STATS:

Extends prize grabbing range. Yay…?

=o=

Sun Badge - A badge that looks like the sun. How interesting, dude.

STATS:

15% sun resistant. I need to smelt this into a weapon…!

50% resistance to blinding and electrical stunning.

Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare. Yuck…!

SKILLS:

Sunfire Flare - Flash of light that blinds everyone. Doesn't work on the sun-resistant.

=o=

Stock Outfit - Blue, long-sleeved shirt with a huge V-neck button-up collar. Blue sweatpants. Most balanced outfit.

STATS:

-5% wind resistance.

May make the wearer tired.

=o=

Retro Patchy Hat - A really old hat of Patchy's. It's freakin floofy, du~de…!

STATS:

Moderate increase to magical defense and offense.

=o=

Moon Crescent - Patchy's favorite accessory.

STATS:

Immunity to silencing.

25% moon resistance.

Moderate increase to magical offense.

=o=

Anti-Magic Amulet - Deep blue, crystalline necklace given by Patchy in exchange for a blue dragon's bone. I should incorporate this into an outfit too so I don't freakin' forget it, 'cause it's real important!

STATS:

Sharply increases magical defense.

=o=

Cow Costume - Female clothing, of some description…? I think! S'freakin' weird, dude!

STATS:

Increases breast size by 25%.

Increases max health by 50%.

Wearer is immune to dispelling.

=o=

Autumn Dress - An actually sensible dress…! Looks like generic villager garb, except prettier and with brighter colors. Even aged, it's still bright!

STATS:

Wearer is immune to tiredness.

Wearer is immune to holy weakness.

Wearer is immune to stunning.

=o=

Iron Cross - Big World War II medal! Freakin'- holy shit…

STATS:

Randomly summons explosion backup.

50% bomb resistance.

Stagger immunity.

=o=

Officer Hat - Nazi officer hat…! I better not get a million angry letters for finding this!

STATS:

50% darkness resistance.

Wearer is immune to instant death.

=o=

Officer's Coat - Nazi officer coat, too! Oh boy oh boy…

STATS:

50% darkness resistance.

Wearer is immune to being cursed.

Slightly boosts defense and magic defense.

=o=

Toyosatomimi's Regalia - Dress of the Crown Prince... of all Taoism or something, I don't freakin' know!

STATS:

100% Dispel resistant.

100% Blinding resistant.

50% Sun resistant.

Gives the user Bravery, improving critical rate by 50%, and reducing enemy critical rates by 30% while active.

Vaguely boosts defense.

=o=

Toyosatomimi's Earmuffs - Makes it hard to hear when worn right. Has an awesome symbol on the sides! I... have no freakin' clue what it means.

STATS:

100% Silencing resistant.

Immunity to all sound damage, including Mandragora-tier screeching when worn properly.

=o=

Toyosatomimi's Cape - Miko's fancy ass cape. It shimmers in the light!

SKILLS:

May be set to three different colors, changing cape properties:

Purple Mode:

The Prince's Will - Passive which constantly gives the user Morale status, preventing them from dying when struck by a blow that would fell them in one hit if they're of high vitality. Stops even Instant Death, although the wearer will be left on the cusp of death.

Red Mode:

Adaptive Combo Plus - Passively extends melee combo length on the ground and in the air by one.

Strength Up - Boosts strength somewhat.

The Prince's Strength - Boosts defense greatly.

Blue Mode:

Danmaku Plus - Each bullet fired has a 50% chance to be two bullets instead.

Magic Hastera - Mana regenerates 50% faster.

The Prince's Cunning - Boosts magic defense greatly.

=o=

Toyosatomimi's Panties - The prince's panties. They're purple and shiny...

STATS:

Improves movement speed slightly.

50% Dispel resistance.

Randomly grants Morale status.

100% Blinding resistance.

=o=

Carrot Medallion - Noob rabbit training tool, offered by Tewi to help me suck less at life!

SKILLS:

Essence of Pacifist * Unarmed - When unarmed, Brad gets an automatic evasion boost. +70% Evasion, but does not stack with magical buffs, and gets worse if he improves his speed naturally. Only works when unarmed.

=o=

Reimu's Outfit - Shrine maiden clothes, dude. Holy resistant, but I dunno how much! Even comes with the bindings and tubes and ribbon 'n' everything!

Reimu's Ribbon - Man, that's cuddly looking. I need to hug Reimu now, dude...

Hakurei Arm Sleeves - No- teach me, how do you wear these!?

Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Legends say that if touhous do not wear this hat, they die dude.

Monk Robes - Doesn't really stack up to my other shit at this point! Wonder what I can do wit' it...

Gravity Boots - Boots that reduce the user's gravity! More like, propels them off the floor a little. Reduces the effectiveness of space statuses on the user. Really weird to control…!

Ed Edd n Eddy Sound Badge - A badge that replaces nearby noises with stupid cartoon ones when worn! I- I got it a few chapters ago, but just now added it to the inventory…!

==o==

= ►CONSUMABLES/OTHER:

Fifty two thousand, seven hundred Yen - Cash just got a lot smaller...

Four Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…

Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!

Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!

Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...

Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.

Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!

Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!

Some Fancy Key - A key lent to me by Brittany. Wha- why. What's it for…!?

Youkai Exterminator Badge - I still have this, dude! Yo ho ho! Allows me to not be considered a youkai by most guardsmen!

Yellow Star Gem - A star-shaped yellow gem. I really should've asked Patchy what this did…! It's shiny and luminescent, though.

Sweet Sleep Pillow - Doremy's nice cuddly pillow. Really soft. Random chance to survey you on pillow quality while you're sleeping.

Genkan's Sweet Sleep Pillow - It's also pretty poofy...

Another 3DS - Especially 'cause I picked up anotha'!

Picture of Sendai Hakurei no Miko Sleeping on her Side and Facing the Viewer while Drowsy - ...Yeah uh, what it says on the tin. Reimu must see this, dude…!

Masturbation Pillow - ...Genkan probably would've given me a look fer this, if she could! Wau…

Dark Knife - Where the hell'd this- oh, wait! This is the thing Genkan got from that fairy! She just slipped it in here while no one was lookin'...

Empty Combo Technology - Red, orange and yellow piece of plastic and metal, about the size of a plant hanger. Adding its magic to Lion's Lindworm gave it Combo Plus and Aerial Plus! Now that it's empty, it's just plastic metal stuffs...

Wasp Stinger - Let the crap pile o~n!

==o==

= ►RANDOM CRAP:

Tables and Furniture - Impromptu furnishings!

==o►o==

PARTY MEMBERS:

==o►o==

Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning. Cuddly, dude...

SKILLS:

Ice Control - Freely use ice to make stuff. Inherent one hundred percent ice resistance. Negative one hundred fire and burning resistance.

Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.

Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.

Tundra - Precursor to Glacier. Weak spike of ice that serves more as a warning. Physical ice attack.

Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.

Triple Glacier - Same as above, except with more sudden scope across more targets. Less accurate. More costly.

Ice Spin - Not the skill Brad thinks it is. Creates a ring of initializing frost around a wide area, with a high chance to freeze.

Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.

Snow - Make it snow locally. Very minor ambient ice damage to everyone on the battlefield, including allies. Has a low chance to instantly freeze someone for no reason.

Yuki-onna's Embrace - Hug. Binds target close to her. Makes the target tired, severely lowers accuracy and magical defense, and makes them comfortable. Skill may only be performed by my kind. Negative facets reduced by ice and freezing resist. Someone with over a hundred resistance will be buffed and healed by it.

Yuki-onna's Entombment - Final, optional stage of the hug. Guaranteed instant death inflicted by the draining of vitality. Heals the user for the heat taken from the target. Does not work well on bosses or the instant death resistant. Instant death proc is nullified if the target's ice or freezing resistance is over fifty percent. Skill may only be performed by my kind.

INVENTORY:

WEAPON: Fans

BODY: Absolute Zero Kimono

MISC ONE: None.

MISC TWO: None.

MISC THREE: None.

RESULTING STATUS:

300% ice resistance

300% freezing resistance

-50% fire resistance [native]

-50% burning resistance [native]

==o==

Absolute Zero Kimono - A better version of the stock yuki-onna kimono. Outfited with new royal blue and cyan trims. It's fun, dude...

STATS:

100% percent ice resistance.

Effects vary when not worn by her…!

=o=

Heavy Tanker - Huge, metal-grey cardboard fans!

STATS:

+150% max HP.

Quadrupled defense.

Speed reduced to 25%.

Knockback effects halved.

100% Stagger immune.

50% Bomb resistance.

SKILLS:

Super Armor - When casting or melee attacking, user is way more knockback resistant.

Tundral Disaster - User can create a pinnacle glacier of ice, and then detonate it like a warhead. Half magical bomb, half physical ice attack.

Defender - Defense is increased in critical situations. Passive.

=o=

Fever - The tiniest pink fans...!

STATS:

100% Confusion resistant.

100% Slow resistant.

100% immunity to evasion debuffs.

Defense halved.

Attack halved.

Speed doubled.

SKILLS:

Break Time - Take a break. You've earned it, dude! Heals all MP and HP, if user is given some time to relax. User has to do three party tricks to get the HP and MP.

Hastega - Speed up the whole party! Doubles everyone's speed. Stacks...!

Rising Rotor - Do a breakdance move to fend off attackers and get back up!

=o=

Two thousand yen - Pocket money.

Bagged Money - We still dunno how much Reimu gave us...

Peppermint - Yo- Genkan has candy…!?

Fans - Regular fans. Helps her spread out frigid air, but she mostly holds onto them for personal fashion, apparently...

Ninjas of Love - Novel? Yo- what...

Viking Rune - Reusable rune that summons a viking monolith. Once summoned, it greatly increases everyone's physical attack prowess, before firing a frost spark with massive freezing capabilities. Very costly to all party members. Uses two inventory slots.

3DS - Genkan likes to play the single video game, dude…

[no space remaining]

==o►o==

Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Sort of down on herself, and not very confident… but when she gains steam, she can be very determined. Resistances and weaknesses depend on equipment. Can cast basic elemental spells.

SKILLS:

Fire - Small, homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes! Doesn't do much damage.

Fira - Slightly larger homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes. Bursts broader than the preceding spell.

Blizzard - Spread shot of big snowflakes. May chill foes.

Blizzara - Big spread shot of myriad ice chunks, with magical snowflakes whirling around inside them. May freeze foes.

Thunder - Random spread of bolts in an area. Basic electric spell.

Thundara - Random spread of bolts in an area which explode on impact with the ground. May stun foes.

Charm - Boosts magical attack of self or an ally moderately.

Seduction - Skill that temporarily seduces a foe. Single target, and doesn't work well on bigger girls...

INVENTORY:

WEAPON: Pine Frost Staff

BODY: Casual Freeze Clothes

MISC ONE: None.

MISC TWO: None.

MISC THREE: None.

RESULTING STATUS:

75% ice resistance

100% freezing resistance

Slightly improved magical defense [native]

==o==

Pine Frost Staff - Made with pine wood and an icy reagent.

STATS:

25% ice resistance.

100% freezing resistance.

-50% burning resistance.

SKILLS:

Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.

=o=

Way of the Tiger - A really good wood staff, dude!

STATS:

-75% max MP.

+75% max HP.

Weapon is very light!

Defense increased sharply!

Attack increased sharply!

Magical defense decreased sharply...

Magical attack decreased sharply...

SKILLS:

Staff Skill - Doing effective moves with the staff is a lot easier because of its combat design!

High Jump - User can jump a bit better!

Polearm Beatdown - Critical attack that users tend to pull off once their adrenaline is running high. Hits multiple times.

=o=

An Eternity Together - Grey staff, with a very, very intricate top piece.

STATS:

50% Time resistant.

User is immune to slowing and stop.

+15% max MP for every party member.

User's speed is halved for every additional party member.

SKILLS:

Stop - Freezes an enemy in time. Only works on weaker foes. Any damage the enemy takes while frozen is relayed to it on fast-forward once it's free again!

=o=

Stubby Rapier - A shiny, brass rapier. Imbued with magical energy, for spell swords.

STATS:

50% dispel resistance.

=o=

Casual Freeze Clothes - Casual, neon villager garb. Bright yellow shirt with a blue snowflake stitched onto the front, a bright blue skirt, and a tan vest.

STATS:

50% ice resistant.

100% freezing resistant.

=o=

Wood Staff - Training foci for magic. Not very good for much else.

Magical Lens - When coupled with magic, this lens shoots non-elemental lasers. Gift from Marcus Kirisame.

[Travel Bag] - Item that grants inventory by holding more items. Wahaha! Eight slots.

Two Mana Potions - Alchemical blends which restore magic energy.

Sabbath Pamphlet - Dark brochure imbued with instructional magic, and desires from a land far, far away. Teaches Seduction to mages.

[three spaces remaining]

==o==

Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - Snuggly fairy maid companion…! Healed by electric magic. Immune to electric stunning, 'cause yeah. Weak to earth, poison and darkness. Quick to become ill from poison.

SKILLS:

Little Zap - Basic electric magic. Zaps a target twice with static from above.

Random Electric - When pressured, uses random electric spells.

Electric Control - With true power, she's able to stun opponents into submission by touching them.

Electric Elemental - 300% electric resistant. 100% percent resistance to electrical stunning!

INVENTORY:

Hana's Fairy Maid Uniform - Stock standard uniform from the mansion! Cyan-tinted in places to match her hair color. Hoh...

==o==

Seikatsu Kikai, the Human Salvation Robot - The mysterious, alighty T-posing robot! Aaah- aaa~h!

SKILLS:

Medibeam - A slow-healing beam, which takes a couple minutes to rejuvenate someone. Feels good to be targeted by…

Cloaking - Seikatsu becomes invisible.

Scan - Returns data on a foe, including name, biological info, stats and strategies. All of us can call on this skill.

INVENTORY:

Nothing.

WEAPON: Seikatsu Kikai Offense System V.2.11

BODY: Regenerative Skin Armor Augmentation with Limb Enhancement V.3.31.11

MISC ONE: None.

MISC TWO: None.

MISC THREE: None.

STATUS:

Immune to poison, stagger, stunning, freezing, syphon, silence, blinding, tired, seduction, confusion, among others.

-80% radiation resistant

-50% thunder resistant

-80% bomb resistant

-50% water resistant

200% holy resistant

-50% dark resistant

80% earth resistant

-80% magnet resistant

-30% wind resistant

80% fire resistant

80% ice resistant

100% poison resistant

100% moon resistant

==o==

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

hi

NO THANKS TO THE LAST MONTH OF COLLEGE, this batch is finally done and proofed!

A LOT HAPPENED on this chapter too! but also not too much yo

we also met SHIKOME in the TECH PIT PLACE

it's probably not immediately obvious how she got here, from seiga teleporting her away to being trapped in eientei now, but the placement of characters should be context enough, and we'll also get some ELUCIDATING DEVELOPMENTS to come if there were still any doubt - w -

matt's probably gonna be pissed if he ever reads fg again, unless he chooses to read like a year from now, in which case he won't be so pissed

i keep getting the occasional impulse to go back and check clarity in both the previous chapter and the matt chapter but i feel like things are clear enough, and i feel like mima pretty much defined what kinda hole was dug earlier

that and PRETTY MUCH THE REST OF THE MATT CHAPTER

...it's only a big deal because our discord has kinda been a war zone ever since - w - and there has been huge debate cough and mudslinging about this direction

like intentionally inciting arguments knowing ai don't want to spoil my readers about anything but knowing ai need to use information to actually have a discussion with him

MOST OF THAT CHILDISH RETRIBUTION IS DONE NOW AT LEAST so things are back to being a chill time - w -

oh yeah for the sake of it

==== DISCORD LINK ====

https SEMICOLON SLASH SLASH SON discord DOHT gg SLASH mcVps2R

this is the link to the discord by the way!

==== OTHER STUFF ====

but yeah this chapter was pretty fun - w -

tewi givin' brad a learnin' on DIRTY STRATEGY was a fun moment

AND IMMEDIATELY, tewi and brad forge a connection STRONGER THAN PRETTY MUCH ANY OTHER EIENTEI-BASED CONNECTIONS

mostly because tewi is pretty much the exact type of personality brad can connect with and vice versa - w - they're just not SUPER ACQUAINTED yet

that should be some fun fuel for NEXT BATCH'S interactions! also mokou'll probably show up too

oh yeah the wind amulet thing

the concept actually came from vanilla sendai but will also appear again later in sendai final mix probably, just after a very certain long point that hasn't occured yet

brad'll probably make more use of it than VS rinnosuke just 'cause DIFFERENT FORMAT and BRAD'S THE MC HERE

ai bet someone is gonna call me a hypocrite for giving brad the ability to kind of run okay (if he watches where he's going) but ai think the distinction here is how it's like development proctored by a connection, and not so much development for the sake of development; it's making ability window dressing for fun thematics rather than the other way around

you could call shou DEVELOPMENT FOR THE SAKE OF IT probably but she's also a connection IN A WAY ai'd suppose

then again she helps many people get better at not dying in fights! it's a public service dude

BRAD NEVER REALLY INTERACTS WITH THEM, so interacting with them now is fun - w -

i was always like "isn't there actually a lot to do at the temple and stuff" but after leaving the SDM and going to them i always tended to draw a blank

this time i kinda thought ahead a little more and ended up in some fun spots, albeit most of the time was still BYAKUREN, GENKAN and MARIA and the good relaxation

and also kyouko! she's snuggg. . .

ai wanted to meet kogasa at the temple but there was NOT time dude… but maybe she'll show up SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEHOW

maybe it'll be a surprise dude ooo

as always, see you all next time!