(in which we declare a yuki-war!)

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Ooh… hoh. Where the hell am I…

I try to fidget about like I usually do, but y'know, as is the usual trend-... I find myself buried in Genkan somehow. Uh. This time- it's along the side of her chest, under her arm. What a place to wake up, actually. It's less erotic than it could be, 'cause we're all clothed, so it's almost like I'm buried in a nice cool blanket.

How's she stay so still when she sleeps? I can feel my own heat emanate through her side sorta- wait, I'm wearing my ice kimono. Man, magic's freakin' confusing…! What'm I feelin' then, her coldness…!?

Either way, it feels good. Let's just not move…

Where're my arms, dude. They fell off. Well- more accurately, I think one's ended up under Genkan somehow. The other is somewhere on top of her.

Oh, hey, I see one of Hana's hands. Her nails are still cyan, which is… pretty good.

This position's perfect. Not a part of me wants to move. Good night, world.

...I don't know what it is, but the side of her body is just- so good to snuggle up to. Holy shit.

The crust on my eyes becomes too much, after a moment of feeling good…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

CRACK! "Oo~h! Wow!"

Wh- ah- yo…! Shit! Whah. Ice chunks fall on me from above…! I- try to move, but everything about me is stuck!

"Nnh!" I- thrust myself up-

"Oh- nn." Immediately, my arms being pinned in place makes my momentum reverse completely, and I end up in Genkan's left boob. Wait- holy shit-

"What…?" Genkan herself wakes up! Um…! She looks down at me immediately. "...Ah."

"Wake the fuck up!" Kaguya yells at us! "They're makin' bacon in the thirteenth outer quarter kitchen, and I'll be damned if you lugheads deny me it 'cause-..." She takes a moment ta survey us. "Wha- what, you breastfeeding them or something?"

It seems like she's broken our ice coffin thing open, with a fuckin' sledgehammer.

Considering Genkan's fully clothed, her assertion should not be possible! "Wh- ah…" Even so, Genkan looks flustered! "Will you get out of here?"

WHAM! Kaguya slams the side of our ice thing with the big hammer! "No!"

"Mm- mmh!" Hana speaks into Genkan's breast, for a moment-

fwish! But, then she springs from the bed like a fairy outta hell! Holy shit!

She lands on Kaguya, and stuffs the princess's face into her own chest! "Raa~!"

"Mm- mmhn!?" Flailing her arms fer a moment, Kaguya stumbles back, before-

"Oh!" Maria squeaks, 'cause she strafed back into her-

Thu- thud- thud. They all fell over…!

...Genkan's gaze returns to me. Her eyes're so-... I dunno how to describe them, she's got that good pre-waking up expression.

Ah- woah. Grabbing onto me, she- nnh. She just- shoves my face into her chest. Yes…

I~... give up. What a rush of good. So fucking soft, too…

Maybe I can get back to sleep, if I try-

Kaguya stands up somewhere behind us. "Ge- ghet the fuck offa' me, fluffy."

woosh. Wait- woah. Gravity's shifting…!

Genkan lets go of me, and I'm suddenly stumbling! I fall back a bit- but I stop my ass from eating the floor with a good hand. I've propped myself up tripod style, dude.

...When I stand again, Genkan fixes my Toyota brand headphones onto my head, somewhat clumsily. "There." Good…!

...Kaguya smiles at us, for some reason! "You two need a fucking room. Anyway- let's go!" Hoh!

While she runs out the door, Maria dusts herself off a little. "Ge- geez…"

...But, for some reason, we're all just kinda standing around! When Ha-chan starts to get her butt off the floor too, I run after Kaguya! "Maybe we should move, dude!"

Genkan quickly hovers after me, addin' in her own commentary as I scramble out! "Now that I think about it- eating would be an idea."

Wha- whump! Maria and Ha-chan kick each other's ass trying to get out the door. "Nn- unh!"

Holy shit- I was right to book it! Kaguya's gunnin' it to lose us! Wait-...

I'm wearin' that ass speed medallion! Let's go!

I sprint- oh holy shit I am fast. My- my legs- are moving so fast that it's kinda retarded, actually! Woohoohoo~!

Passing Kaguya, I end up having to slow down, 'cause I ran faster than she could fly-

whump! Oh, fuck, I collided with someone comin' around a corner, and fell back onto my ass! "Uhf…!"

The blonde bunny chick furrows her brows. She's got a nurse outfit on! "Ah- who the fuck're-..." She stumbles into the midst of the hall, givin' me a vain look. "Oh? Fuckin'- are you a-"

WHAM! Kaguya roars into her, just fuckin' annihilating her! "Get outta the wa~y, bitch!"

"Au- huaa~h!" The predator-ass lookin' bunny just gets sent sprawling away! Like- fuckin' flops against the wall, and lands on her side! "Uugh!"

...Ha-chan zips by me, carrying Maria, who looks displaced, but pleasantly surprised!

Genkan stops near me as I get up. "Ho- holy shit, yo…"

fwoof. She just blows cold air at me, and then accelerates! And- holy shit does she accelerate!

Winding myself up, I run in place for one moment, before fuckin'- yeah! I am a fuckin' munchki~n!

We blow past the nurse-ass bunny with the force of a fuckin' valhallan army! My sandals clack loudly against the floor as I power up to the floating girls, and- wow, both me and Genkan are way faster than Kaguya, actually. Genkan's pro'lly got her speed fans out. Freakin' speed fans…

We still hafta kinda follow her lead at turns, so we do slow for her!

But, when we reach the next intersection, Tewi drops from the ceiling some meters ahead! "Surprise, motherfucker!"

Cla- clack! Next to her, earthen rabbits in tiny lunar bunny suits jump down next to her!

Kaguya slows a little, sizing them up! "Tewi! Get ou~tta my way!"

"Behold!" Tewi casts her arms to both of her soldiers! "My machinations lay undetected…!"

vrrr. Oh, shit! Piddly RC helicopters drop down from the ceiling tiles, too!

"Divine Treasure!" Um… "Jeweled Branch of Hourai!" Holy shit…!

We all step back from Kaguya, as some hard to see, navy-colored pentagrams parts from her, as she draws a big pentagram using the jeweled branch in question…!

pit- pat. Like, two yellow oval shots come from the choppers, not even aimed directly at Kaguya. Freakin'...!

KWA- FWA- FWOO~M! The hall before us is filled with blinding, rainbow-colored light! Holy fuck!

"Aaaa~!" The rabbits before us yell…!

In an instant, the light has splashed itself out of existence, and Kaguya continues to accelerate!

"Oo- ooh…" Tewi lies in a heap on the floor, the other rabbits just- like, fifty meters down the hallway…! "So- someone-... dial the numba- a' the truck tha' hit me…"

...Genkan stops near her penta-jolted form, and blows cold air on her, before accelerating. Tewi whines a little! "Ooo~ huhuhu… wow. Must be bacon day, somewhere..."

I get ready to sprint next ta her. "Yer machinations- were detected…!"

And- away I go! Yeheha~h!

Meeting back up with Kaguya an' Genkan further up the hall, I weightlessly strafe back and forth between either extreme of the hall's width! "I'm so freakin' fa~st!"

Kaguya snorts, facin' me as I catch up ta her side! "Who gave you a medallion…? Why's she so fast!?" She's more put off by the fact Genkan can just casually accelerate for no reason!

"I'm accelerating." Ye~s, Genkan!

Shoof. Shoof. While we speed down the hall, we pass this one rabbit with a ball and chain tied to her leg! "Enh. Enh…"

The halls we're in now are these rustic, red brick ones. The floor is still wooden, but it's a cheaper, lighter wood than the rich and polished kinds used in the earlier hallways.

"What's with the prisoner rabbit…!?" I'm a little curious!

Kaguya shoots me a look fer a moment! "Y'answered yer own question…!" But why's they- why're they a prisoner!?

We near a corner, and Kaguya shifts to fly along the wall's side, as if it were the ground as she continues forward! Genkan does the same easily enough, and I~...

Unless I put on the gravity boots, I ain't doin' any 'a that shit!

"Hoh…!" I get to watch them fuckin' style on the wall, though! "Freakin'..."

Lookin' back at the corner we rounded, I see Ha-chan and Maria barely keepin' up with us. Ha-chan tries to pull the trick the other girls did, but Maria starts to get awkwardly hang 'cause of how she's tryin'a angle herself! "He- hey, hold it- hold it…" Maria objects…!

An' then, eventually-

SHOOF! Kaguya casts open a big, sliding door ahead of us, built into an exposed sliding mechanism. "Baco~n!"

...In here, a buncha casually dressed bunny girls turn to her. They've all got varied degrees of vain expressions, but most seem like they expected this.

Her nails click on one of the plates of bacon as she lifts it up and steals it. "Mine."

...We're all here, now. Ho~h. After a moment, Ha-chan an' Maria catch up to us.

whump. Wh- yo, no. Ha-chan floats Maria into me, fer no reason! "Whah- Hana~..." Maria chastises 'er fer this!

Kaguya comes up to us, lookin' content as she munches a piece of the good stuff. "Mmh?" She holds out the plate to us with one hand, as if offering some. There are like, six plates here.

I take a good lookin' piece.

"...Bake on?" Genka~n. "...Ah. This stuff." Okay, good! It'd be a little weird if she didn't at least know what it was! "So that's how you pronounce it." Holy shit…!

Kaguya looks equally surprised!

"Bacon's pretty good, you know…" Maria takes some, herself… "Ooh. It's still warm." Aw.

Ha-chan takes three pieces! "Oh, boy!"

...Reluctantly, Genkan accepts a piece, 'cause we're all doin' it! "Ah. Of course. When it was said to be greasy-... that was an understatement."

Crunch! Aaw. Y'know, I actually like the less-crunchy parts of the bacon, usually. The super charcoal taste is oof, but I've grown to like the more medium parts. The best parts are usually the mediun an' more fatty bits.

The bunnies here seemed to agree, 'cause this is some really good bacon! I will take all of the plates!

"...It's not terrible." Genkan's alright with it, too! "I might rather other ways of serving meat… but, this is at least very flavorful."

"Yeah, that's the point." Once she was done with her piece, Kaguya educated her on the food arts! "It's enough to get you going, and goes well when paired with stuff like eggs, hash browns, and some other good stuff."

cru- crunch, crunch. So, we all just freakin' idle, 'cause we're all eatin' bacon.

"Fluffle kibble…" The idea came to me, just recently. Kibbles for fluffs, dude…

"Don't talk about fluffles at the table." Maria gives me a playfully aggressive look!

"Fluffles." I talk about fluffles at the table. Uh oh…

Anyway, yeah, this room! There's a buncha bunny chicks at this plain wooden table, sittin' on plain wooden chairs. The counters around the room are divided by stoves and fridges, and stuff. It's a beat 'em an' eat 'em room, dude.

"Mmh. So…" Kaguya finishes eatin' a bunch of bacon strips at once! "This area here's a sorta side ward, fer security, but also basic check-up stuff. Last I knew, there's really no bias fer sendin' patients here, it's kind of a~... by-need thing, but it depends on how full everything else is. We don't got a shortage on patient rooms, that's for damn sure."

Yay, patients! Freakin'...

"You know…" Genkan turns ta her. "Why does this clinic need so many different sectors and styles? Or, a military, for that matter?"

Kaguya's stare back at her was simple. "It's a little more than a clinic. If, you know, the death robots and the military itself doesn't give it away. But… basically, we have our reasons to keep defended. Don't you?"

"Well…" Genkan wanted to object, but couldn't find reasoning fer one at the moment…! "Hmm. I mean, it's not the same, is it? We're three-... three and a half people." I bet Ha-chan is the half 'a person! "This clinic has to have more than a few hundred, at least."

"Like, a thousand, yeah." Kaguya confirms. Jesus, fuck! "I forget. We'd make more; both earthen rabbits and lunar rabbits mature quick, and aren't pregnant for long, but… you know, it costs money to keep people alive. And, uh…" She gets close to Genkan, to whisper something!

...Genkan's eyes widen! "That's-... that feels wrong."

"Yeah, well, it's either that, or we go into poverty because we have literally too many fuckin' bunnies." Kaguya starts to grin! "No one really acknowledges it. As for the earthen rabbits, I don't think our staticians include them when they count our total. They're just kinda around, and sorta help out, so they're whatever they want. As long as they don't somehow fuck the entire ecosystem of the forest, or something. I mean-... they haven't fucked up that bad in the forest's history, but still."

...Aw. The bunnies are all starin' at us, dude.

"Anyway." Kaguya gives us all a fluffy look, dude. "...I guess we'll get outta here before the bunnies finish, 'cause that's when patients get time to roam, and I really don't wanna fuck around with 'em."

I just realized, that Una rabbit chick's not with us anymore. Oh no.

Turnin' around with the bacon plate, Kaguya leads us back out the door we came in.

...I trade a stare wit' Maria, who is naturally fluffy.

"Bacon's good…" She confirms an understanding, and begins to move out with the others!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Now that we're in these crummy-style halls again, we get to uh…

"So!" Kaguya turns to us! "You guys up fo~r…"

"It's dawned on me that we still haven't retrieved Seikatsu." Genkan reminds us. Hoh, shit.

"I was wondering when one of you'd realize." Maria knew all along, too! I~... did not forget, but it did slip into the recesses of my brain.

Beige, tiled ceiling, with some grungy-lookin' ceiling tiles, dim lights, a~nd the good brick walls. This hallway looked better when we were runnin' through it…

This time when we move ahead, Kaguya takes a left some ways down the hall. "Hmm. Let's pass through the battlement and dorm areas. We might run into something interesting, there…"

The path she's takin' is better lit, so we all follow her! It's got like, a neat skylight…

Continuing forward, we come to a widened section of hallway, with a really big, dome-like skylight. Cool generic plants are sitting in pots at the sides of the room…

Above us, the sky is a pure, solid white, flakes of snow roaring against the glass.

Genkan's eyes widen! "It's-... snowing outside!" Ooo! She sounds uncharacteristically excited!

"Ah, yeah." Kaguya nods idly at that… "Oh, wait, yeah, you're a snow chick."

"That I am." Genkan turns to all of us…! "We need to find a way outside." Aw.

Voices are heard down the hallway ahead of us. Aw, more people are coming. The good halls…

"What about Seikatsu?" Maria wonders, lookin' fluffily inquisitive.

"Later." Genkan really wants to play in the snow! "Princess, we need the fastest possible route outside."

Kaguya snorts. "Yeah, yeah, we're gettin' there, this path works for that, too. Bet these cheaper dorms're freezin' their asses off."

Ahead of us, we can finally hear the voices! "Stop following me. The moment we leave this forsaken structure, I will unscrew your head." Holy shit!

"You owe a debt to me, yuki-onna." I feel like I recognize that guy voice… 'cause lemme tell ya, there ain't too many of them!

"I owe no debt farther than you can toss a stone, ingrate." Wait- that other voice too

Clack. One of the big, reinforced pushable doors across the hall from us is gently pushed open.

"If that sister of mine hadn't shown up when she did, I would have feasted on your soul. I still plan on doing that." Ho~ly shit…!

Shimokoa hovers through the double doorway, clad in her mint green kimono. She's giving a sideways, dagger-lined glare at some foppy dude who's walking with her. Also- the frik happened to her hair…!?

Wait. That foppy dude. He's, uu~h- he's got the long, bleached-grey-ish hair. Uuh, the fuck was his name. Sanji…? Sanjo? Oh, Sanjiro! He's the guy Maria almost iced that one time, pretty much literally!

"I would very much like to see you try." What the fak're they doin' here!? And- man, what a bad combo they make, hoholy shit…!

Her eyes narrowing, Shimokoa looks ahead. Y'know, at us.

Genkan pauses. "Aa- ah…"

...Shimokoa grits her teeth for a moment, before just scowling. "Oh. Perfect. What a time, for things to go from bad to worse."

Sanjiro lights up, upon seeing us! "Aah! You did know! Thank you- yuki-onna! I apologize for our misunderstandings!"

...Shimokoa just gives him a bewildered look! "I-... what?"

"The girl!" Sanjiro points his rapier thing in our vague direction! "You- when you met me, you told me you knew the location of the girl I was searching for! And-... you lead me straight to her! I'm sorry- I thought you had lied, just so I'd-... bring you to Eientei. Had I finished you off- I would have been so foolish."

...Fer some reason, Shimokoa just looks lost! "...I-... sure. Of course. Don't um, doubt me again." What the hell is this exchange…!

"Oh, hey." Kaguya steps forward! "More yuki-onna. I guess it is the season."

Her attention's caught by the princess immediately. "Aa- ah. Princess Houraisan. What-... pardon my rudeness, but what brings you here?"

Kaguya snorts. "Oh, you know, leisure. Attending to my people, as they say." ...She turns to us! "That's code for 'doing nothing'."

"...If you don't mind, and pardon this audacious request…" Shimokoa bows towards her. "I have something to discuss with those behind you."

"I am here in search of Maria Yamada!" Sanjiro raises his rapier…! "She has destroyed my family, vandalized the very home we've provided for her, and disrespected our customs! I speak on behalf of the Human Village!"

WHAM. Shimokoa slams her arm into his stomach! "You-... numb, moron…"

"Nn- nhu~..." Wow, he got his ass kicked by that. Reminds me 'a some bad memories… o~h ho ho ho-

Kaguya just turns to us, and gives us a look between bewildered and amused! She also gives a thumbs-pointing gesture to them, as if goin' like 'you know these guys'.

Maria shakes her head. Genkan nods, and I-... give a diagonal, swishy swooshy, thingamabobby- and I raise my hand, an' make it wobble all around- aa~h, aaa~h!

...Ha-chan looks at us all like we're stupid! That's- kind of a first…!

Turnin' back ahead, Kaguya tilts a little. "And, your business, ice lady…?"

"I have a personal conversation to conduct." Shimokoa remains tactful about her approach, for whatever it's worth. "...And, not to be presumptuous, but I do not believe it to be your business, princess."

"It is now." Kaguya's curiosity seems to have been piqued…!

woosh. She slides to the side a little. "Go on. Just pretend I'm not here." Daa~h.

cla- clack! Sanjiro springs up from his cringing, and begins to bolt towards us!

Shimokoa grabs him by the collar to stop him. "You- human scum of the earth. When will you learn!?"

WOOSH! Oh- she just- threw him to the right-

WHAM! He hit the wall, all the way over there. Da~mn, dude! "Ghk- nnh…"

...We're all standing with our shit out! I mean-... now that I think about it, I feel like Shimokoa won't be as bad as she used to be. To fight, I mean. Freakin'... upgrades, dude. Unless, she's miraculously developed the ability to kick supreme ass in the like two-three days we haven't seen her.

...Now that I think about it, that's what it might look like from her perspective!

Her glowing, mint-tinted eyes return to normal brightness, as she hovers up to us.

"Shimokoa." Genkan starts to speak, as she nears. "What are you doing here?"

"Not happy to see me?" Shimokoa immediately brings out some sass…! "Let me know if I'm getting in the way. Of something more important, to you."

"I didn't say anything like that." Genkan furrows her brows. He~re we go… "But-"

"Spare the excuses." Jeez, Shimokoa…! "I bet, that you had all but forgotten about me."

"Please." Genkan looks anxious. She goes to fold her arms, but doesn't, keeping them at her sides. "The only thing I detest-... is this attitude of yours. I care about you, sister."

"Hmh." Shimokoa just scowls at that…! "You don't care about me. Just like how you never listened. Now it's only him, that you care for. You've never cared. At all." This is going pear-shaped even faster than that one time…! "You never listened to, or cared, about your mother, did you?"

"My-... mother?" Genkan just looks confused.

Shimokoa smirks. "Mmh. I knew it. You never even gave her a thought, did you? If your mother saw you now, I'm sure she wouldn't ever want to see your face again."

"Why- would I-..." Genkan is staggered by the sheer incomprehensibility of the argument at hand! "I- only knew her for so long- and she hasn't lived what I have lived through. You haven't lived through what I lived through."

"Both of us are older than you." Shimokokomo- I dunno if that's a good thing, sometimes…! "You'd stray from her teachings? She, who was gracious enough to pardon ten of her years for your entire being?"

Genkan's face hardens at her words. "...When you put it that way, I sound stupid, and doomed to death. But- if you looked at the actual situation- if you just listened-"

"You should search your memories." Shimokoa points at her aggressively! "You know what happens to us, who stray close to the insanity that is humanity. Do you forget how greater sisters than even us have fallen?"

"Shimokoa." Genkan lets out a kinda tired sigh. "...Do you remember those winters we spent together? When you helped me create air ducts in the cave ceiling. The way we used to speak to each other. I-... miss being able to- think of you, as my sister. I just wish you could understand me."

Genkan actually looks… pretty sad, again.

All her words have done is made Shimokoa sorta stagger back, her eyes widened. But, she finds herself again, some moments later. "Go home, Genkan. I'll care for your humans, for you."

"Please." Genkan compacts, a little. "Shimokoa…"

"Why-... why are you begging?" Holdin' out her arms, Shimokoa allows frost to coalesce around herself. "Since when have you ever cared about me? Your mother wouldn't be the only one who's sick of looking at you. So am I." Holy shit.

Fwi- fwish. Her big frozen shield forms in one hand, and in the other, a katana, made of frost.

I've got Fallen Comrade out, 'cause it's a good primary defense option. An' with it out, I kinda edge forward, to remind everyone I exist! "Yo, hey."

Shimokoa stares me down…!

"What's like-... why're ya bein' such a freakin' problem?" I do not think I worded that right, but I've gotta commit now! "Like-"

In the bright light cast by the snowy day above us, Shimokoa smirks, almost victoriously. "Oho~. So you admit, I am in your way?"

"Yer in everyone's way- 'cause you put yerself there!" Time to talk fast! "Like- even your own! Can we like- not assume I'm some crazy sex demon right off the bat…!? Doesn't it seem just a li~ttle far fetched to think everyone's an asshole?"

"That's what our sisters believed." Shimokoa's grip on her weapons tightens…! "It earned them rape, deprecation, and an early grave. There are no ideal endings in this world."

How do you even rape a yuki-onna. Something also tells me that common human villagers haven't figured out how resistances work yet. Freakin'- probably personal reference examples of hers that I don't have access to~... "I mean- look, I dunno how that shit went down, an' I'm sure the humans were evil shitheads- but hear me out-"

"I will not be deceived." Shimokoa~...! "Do not speak lightly of my kind!" Despite how hard-headed she is, this particular statement was delivered really fluffy-like...

"No!" I cast yelling magic! "Hear me the fuck out! Like- seriously! Isn't that like- a philosophical freakin'... tenet? What Plato and Scrotum- Socrates did?"

...Shimokoa lifts a brow. "Who?"

"Exactly." I'm pretty glad she missed that inappropriately timed joke! That- or she didn't think the mispronunciation was out of place at all… I don't actually know! "But like- they were old dudes who argued with other dudes on the streets, to refine ideas an' shi- shtuff." Shtuffs…

Sanjiro the fopaloon is just kinda idling at the side of the light-crested area now, hurt.

"Get on with it…" Shimokoa is getting impatient!

"Basically!" I thrust a finger up, lettin' a hand off my super hanger! "It'd be good for your thinker if you heard me out. Who knows- you might even like, argue me down 'cause yer so right, and I'll think you're so right, I'll commit like-... sudoku."

"I-..." Genkan speaks up from behind me! "I think the word you're looking for is 'seppuku', Brad. Don't joke about that, here." Wau.

Since my mannerism kinda relaxed Genkan, Shimokoa furrows her brows. I don't know why exactly, but I'm going to assume it's 'cause I neutralized whatever she thought she had goin'.

"I hardly want to spare you my breath." She also is not in the good talky mood. I feel like, if we got her to have a right proper sit-down, one where she had to see we weren't gonna rapelestation her, she'd stop bein' a freakin' drama queen.

Maybe-... maybe that can be right now! "I mean, look…" It's time to go all in! "Me and Genkan cuddle."

WHISH! Wahaho that was a bad idea- here she comes-

CLI~NG! Aaa- nothing hit my hanger, when I brought it up to guard...

"You know." Oh. Kaguya's in front of us now, too. "I don't really care about morality shit… but, I can usually tell who the villain in a story is."

"How- dare you…!?" Shimokoa seems offended! Which, is nothing unusual!

"They're typically otherwise worthless people, who suddenly get it in their head tha~t… they're an authority on how other people should live their lives." Kaguya's like, using this tiny freakin' dagger thing as a sword.

Woosh! Shimokoa does a huge ass backflip away from her, ending up back on the other side of the room.

...Turning to us, Kaguya smiles. "Everybody gets o~ne. I'm not gonna fight your battles for yo~u." Then she drifts off to the side again…!

"I- wouldn't consider Shimokoa worthless, but-..." Genkan's kinda mixed about Kaguya's words!

"Sanjiro." Shimokoa turned to the boy. "Stand. We are to kill the humans. Do not touch the yuki-onna." Hoo~ boy...

Ice resistance: check! Hmm, maybe I should uu~h…

Fwi- click! After closing my eyes fer a moment, I draw the Red Scare…!

Oh, shit, we don't have Seikatsu around either, I just realized.

"No one's gonna be killing anyo~ne." But, we do have Ha-chan! For uh, as long as that might last…

Maria's got her time stop cheese staff out, and Genkan raises her arms.

Shimokoa holds up her katana, and shield. "Come to me… Ice Blade…!" That was like- her limit break in the last fight, and she's using it already!

Maria thrusts her staff up! "Stop!"

KA- KA- KLINK! Prisms of time energy flare around Shimokoa, a~nd… she's stopped! Man, that's fucking broken…!

"Heheha~!" Sanjiro holds up his like, glowing crystalline rapier. Was it always made 'a crystal? "Magi-Reflect!" Was it always glowing-

KA- KA- KLINK! Wait- what the fuck. I turn to Genkan, and prisms of time light up around her, and she's freakin' frozen in place.

"Wh- what…!?" Maria's surprised! "How!?"

"Oh no~!" Ha-chan- it's just stop magic- s'not that serious…!

"With this new blade…!" Sanjiro thrusts it into the air. "I can reflect any magic back at yo~u!" Wait.

Du~de. Raising my arm into the air, I cast the good spell! "Scent Pillo~w!" Then, I throw my arm forward!

fwump. The pillow coated in crustified cum poofed on the ground before me.

...Picking it up, I chuck it! It lands on Shimokoa's head while she's frozen in time...

"Magi-Reflect!" Sanjiro thrusts his rapier into the air!

fwump. Wait. I have made a terrible mistake. Something now exists that should never exist...

"Fira!" Maria swings her staff through the air, amber light trailing off of it.

Fwoom! A sizable, trailing could of fire rushes into the pillow Sanjiro made-

KiFwoom! It's dead, dude.

Sanjiro's rapier flashes with light again! "Magi-Reflect!" Wait, oh shit, that's actually a good spell-

Fwoom! From the light, Maria's big ass fireball comes back out at us! It's coming for me!

Pap- pap- pap! I fire NERF darts into it!

fwoomp. Holy shit. I can't believe that worked. The fireball freakin' died mid-air!

"Magi-Reflect!" Is he going to yell that every time.

pap. He fired a single freakin' NERF dart from his rapier, and didn't even aim it at anyone right, so it just fizzled on the floor!

FWASH! Oh shit! Shimokoa is free! Her big ass ice sword materializes!

"Magi-Reflect!" Wait, don't tell me-

FWASH! Sanjiro suddenly just has a really fuck-huge ice blade-

KRAKRACK! Immediately, it explodes over his head, the ice chunks of it falling back down onto him. "Ngh- ow- argh!" Freakin'...! This fight's a freakin' mess!

"This is serious!" I yell out! "Everyone in Gensokyo knows kung-fu!"

pap- pap- pap pap pap! Firing the Red Scare's red NERF darts up at Shimokoa, I start strafin' back!

WOOSH. At first, she fuckin' roars her blade horizontally to deflect them… but I just never run out, so I jus' keep on shootin'! "Aah- what-...!?"

After some darts strike her, I actually run at her, since she's kinda raised in the air over everyone!

"Nngh!" And now she's all tipsy! "Fucki~ng…!" Wow, she's constipated! "Dii~e! Die- die-"

KER- FWASH! She smashes the ice blade on the floor near me, more on accident than tryin'a aim it! A shockwave of ice magic flares from the impact-

Fwoa~sh. And- y'know, it feels- it feels pretty good, actually. S'like a summer breeze, 'cept without the crappy heat!

"Stop!" Maria declares again, her staff thrusting up!

KA- KA- KLINK! She picked Sanjiro this time. Freakin', annoyin' ass support class. Say I, the annoying ass support class. Now he's trapped by the time triangles, dude.

"Wh- what… happened!?" Genkan has jet lag, now! "Uh- ah…?"

"Rrgh- aarh!" Shimokoa's just kinda, randomly flailing her sword and shield about, now! This cocktail of freakin' debuffs is good, dude!

...While Sanjiro was stuck, Maria slowly shuffled up to him. She reels her staff back, and, uh…

WHUNK! She clubs him in the head with it while he's stuck! Hoh, shit…!

Fwi- click! Closing my eyes and searchin' my stuffs, I equip the Bawmber! I've also got my gravity boots on again, now…

Before I turn 'em on, I stomp about on the floor before Shimokoa! "I am a nerf war maste~r!"

pap- pap- pap! I fire three shots-

BOOM- BAM- BOOM! Holy shit! They fuckin' explode good!

"Unh!" Shimokoa stumbles back, shakin' her head about. "Dirty- ape…!" How'd three explosions just stagger you. That woulda sent me flying! "Come to me! Ice Blade!" Again!?

FWASH! The giant blade is made again. Shimokoa sets her sights on me, and it's pretty obvious 'cause she turns to me and has the good angry eyes.

Thud! Sanjiro fell onto his knees once he was free! "Nghk- wh- whaht…"

While Shimokoa moves for me, I crouch down, and flick my boots on with one hand by scrapin' it between them!

"Woa~h…!" Suddenly, I get sprung into the air by their initial propulsion! "Yehaha~h!"

WOO~SH. Shimokoa slowly swings her big dumb sword under me. "Aah-...!" You missed, freakin'- noob.

BOOM- BAM- BLAM! Aiming down as I bob over her, I pelt her with more ass blast darts, her hair billowing wildly in the air as she's repeatedly encapsulated in raw fire and force. The air off the blasts sends me coasting away…!

"Rrgh…" With her ice blade crumbling, she coasts on the other end of the shiny-ass, somewhat retro room. "Da- damn it…"

"Yo!" I yell across the room! "...Get o~wned!" I- do not yell at max a whole lot, so my ability to say complex sentences while yelling is limited…!

Ooh, she's not happy with that, though.

"Shimokoa!" Genkan yells out herself! "Do you not see the futility in this!? Stop, please! Fighting will not solve this!"

"Nn- nnh…" Her yelling just makes Shimokoa sad. "Annoying…" No longer do I need to Market Garden you in the face to do not insignificant damage!

While she clutches her katana and shield in shaky rage, she glares up at the skylight. Uu~h…

Shi~ng. She made a single, small icicle in the air above herself, then swung her blade.

KRI- KRA~CK! Oh, shit! The skylight just- up an' fucking exploded! She sent the icicle up and into it!

Shards of glass rain down, in conjunction with the fierce snowfall.

Whirling into the center of the falling glass and snow, Shimokoa spins around a ludicrous number of times. "Already-"

FWAM! A huge fireball from Maria nails her in the side! "Et- ya~h!" Holy shit, that yell!

Zap! From a great distance, Ha-chan fires a tiny bolt, and it doesn't seem to do much… but it was tiny, dude.

Sagging in the air, Shimokoa lets out a few huffs. "Nngh-..." Then, holds both arms over her head. Bringing her weapons together, like when she makes the ice blade, she yells something new out! "Welcome, oblivion!" Aw.

Fvra~r. Her form lights up with an odd, discolored light. Uh oh. I think we activated her new limit break-type technique…

Cli- crack. Landing on the glass, she raises her shield. Is- is her new thing gonna be actually fighting normally, now.

"Fira!" Maria thrust her staff forward, again!

Fwoom! The cloud of bright flames spat out from the tip, illuminating the now really bright mid-hallway common room.

Swi- FWASH! Shimokoa swung her katana at it, and the fire just exploded and died. Uh.

"Hup!" Leaping from her spot, she cleared the whole room, landing near Maria. Oh- shit…!

pap- pap- pap! I fire explosions in their general direction, while Genkan accelerates to the rescue, like that one time-

SWASH! Whirling around, Shimokoa smashed her katana into the floor with a fuckin' lightspeed, glowing horizontal swing. A draft of bright, weird light exploded from the floor-

BAM- BOOM- BAM! "Aaa- aaa~!" Holy shit! Maria yells, as she just gets flung fuckin' ten feet into the air by Shimokoa's ground attack thing. Holy shit look alive-

Pap! I catch Maria kinda clumsily, and- we're sinkin', oh boy…

"Look out!" Woah- hey Genkan- "She's- I've never seen her use this magic before!" Uh oh.

"Sto- stop…" While in my arms, Maria's still got her staff, so she's able to thrust it into the air weakly.

KA- KA- KLINK! Stop-... still works! Shimokoa was frozen in time and space.

Clack. I land on the floor, 'cause our combined weight is too heavy. Settin' Maria down on the floor, I unclick my booties, and uh…

Pap- BOOM- pap- BAM- pap- KABAM- pap! I start unloading on the frozen target while we have the moment! "Honk, ho~nk! Get outta the way!"

"I'm… just about outta mana…" Oh, shit. Maria's out of mana, and she's like, our one good source of fire right now. Uh…

"Unh- kau- kugh- uhu- ngh!" Shimokokomo is released from the time space continuum, only to get stunlocked by my darts that hit her.

"Nn- nnh…" Her voice is all echoey now, which is probably not good. "Now- witness true power!"

SHI~NG! Her katana and shield glow a bright pink-teal combination, and her form flickers with white light. Uuh…

WHISH. She comes at me like a fucking arrow, blade poised to stab me-

Dropping my hanger-

KABOOM! It explodes as it hits the floor, sending me flying when it combines with my medallion thing! "Whu- hahaho~ie!"

WHISH. Shimokoa appears out of the snowflakes in the air as I sail across the room. Holy shit.

WHISH. I curl up into a ball as I fuckin' hurtle, and I see her whizz by me again from a different direction!

Clicking my gravity boots on again, I wait to come up to the wall-

WHAM. Ow. Never- uh, nevermind, the wall came to me.

WHISH. I- heard a woosh, but I don't see the stabby lady-

"Auugh!" Oh- shit! That was Maria!

Across the room, Maria's on the ground, scrambling away as blood pours from a new stab wound. "Aa- ah-"

WHISH! She dives into a skid, avoiding another thrust from Shimokoa. The Bawmber lies on the floor before her, so she takes hold of that.

Genkan nears her. "Maria! Are- you okay!?"

WHISH! Shimokoa spawns somewhere behind me, as I propell off the wall-

CLINK! She just grazes one of my boots with her shield!

fwish. Finally, Shimokoa appears in the skylight above the room. "Heal this." Oh shit.

She drops straight down with the snowfall, and plunges her blade and shield into the floor.

KRIK- FWA- FWA- FWA- FWASH! The entire room lights up, snow blasted into the air by a huge flush of bright, blighted dark magic from the floor. I'm too high up to be hurt by it!

"Nn- nnh…" Genkan's got Maria up on her back. "Oo-... oh…"

Thud. Genkan collapses, with Maria on top of her. Fucking…

click. I unclick my boots, and-

Thud! Since I'm unarmed, I land on my legs sorta bad, but not enough to deter my adrenaline.

Shimokoa's beelining straight for Maria, so-...! Fucking- I don't have any weapons, and stopping right now would be a bad idea, so…!

Sprinting up to them, the snow passively improving my aches and pains, I near Shimokoa as she brings her katana up execution-style. "Fi- finally… just- die-"

I leap up onto her, and wrap my legs around her torso, clawing my hands onto her boobs! "Aaa~h!"

"Ngh- begone!" Stumbling back, she spins on her heel-

FWAM! Ooh- holy fuck- some kind of energy flared from her- and ow…

Crunch. I land in the snow, which is pretty good, actually- but what's not good is she's coming this way!

"Hyah!" Whirling around like a hurricane, she prepares to slam her blade down where I am. I roll outta the way because yes-

FWAM! Where she struck, a plume of that bright, darkish magic came up. Wa- wait… wait. Hold the fuck up…

Stumbling back, facing her, I close my eyes for just a moment- really focusing on just what I need-

Fwi- Click! I have-... switched to my nazi outfit, fit with coat and hat, and now have the Red Scare out!

"Hrrh!" Swinging her katana back, she thrust her shield itself forward-

CLANK! I put my whole body into parrying that shit- and skid back in the really fucking cold snow. Ouch…!

Once the shield begins to return to her, she leaps into the air over it. "Hragh!"

SHINK! Her blade drives into the snow some distance before me.

KRIK- FWA- FWA- FWASH! A more localized version of the dark explosion she set off earlier washes up my form.

But, by the power of a nazi uniform, I am resistant to dark magic!

Fwoom! Marching out of the flares of dark energy, I activate the flamethrower part of the Red Scare!

"Wh- whah!" Shimokoa jumps as I march out of the dark light shit! "What- eeht- engh!"

Thu- thud. Behind her, Genkan rolls Maria off herself, and gets up. Aw, good.

WHISH! Shimokoa momentarily puts 'erself out by spinnin' around, but I keep holding those flames…! "Freakin'- tip over, alrea~dy!" Holy shit! You are fucking determined!

Suddenly, Genkan comes over to me! "Brad. Stay still." Oh, hi-

She picks me up by my waist, and my collar, and tilts me forward…! "Hold your weapon out- now!"

"Wh- okay…!" So, I hold my flamethrower hanger out-

WHISH! Genkan slides forward on the snow, a trail of ice in her path as she skates forward-

WHAM! I get rammed right into Shimokoa, who was not ready to defend at all! "Waugh-"

WHISH- WHAM! Pivoting right around, Genkan drives me into her back while she tries to stop herself from getting flung the way we first hit her. "Ngh- ooh!"

Scree~ch! We stop just before the wall Kaguya's idling by, and pivot right around-

WHISH- WHAM! "Nh- nho~!" While Shimokoa tries to right herself from getting thrown forward again, I freakin'- tank getting smashed into her stomach again…!

WHISH- WHAM! Genkan spins around behind her one more time, before ramming me into the side of her gut, flames exploding from the impact where I drove the hanger in, while Genkan drove me in, while driving herself in!

"Aa- auu- aaugh!" Finally, Shimokoa gets launched totally off of her flightiness, her katana and shield flung away. "Yhou- you're the fake- damnit! Huma~n!"

Crunch. She flopped into the snow gently.

...Is-... is it done. Has the yelling stopped…!?

Oh. Shivering, Sanjiro slowly stands in the background. "I- I've… I've got new tricks, too-"

Whish. Genkan slowly slides towards him, still holding me like a battering ram!

He holds his arms in the air! "Oo- okay, fine- fine! Don't hit me!" Good. Freakin'... it took some doing, but he's finally realized mauling us isn't a good idea!

"Hh- he-..." Wait- oh shit, Maria!

Crunch. Genkan gets the same idea, dropping me into the snow immediately.

"Maria- are you okay!?" Since this is the second time y'asked that Genkan, I'mma assume no! Freakin' time to dig for a potion…

"Nn- nnh…" I look over, an' see Maria shivering in her arms. Woah- that is a lot of blood! No guts, fortunately.

Running up, I rip the cork off the potion with my mouth since I ain't got time to futz about with that shit, and shove it in her face. "Here- health, healing stuff. Um…" That stab wound, holy shit. That was straight through her. The wound- what I can see of it- is already all decayed 'cause of that dark shit- wait, it's eating at the flesh, even now. Holy crap!

"Th- tha-... thanks." Maria spends way too much time giving me an airy smile…! I take the potion and just shove it in her mouth! "Mmh…"

...Well, she's drinking it, that's good. And- aah, there we go.

Y'know, I just realized. It's a good thing we're at a hospital.

"Hey." Kaguya stepped up to us plainly…

Genkan whips to face her! "Why didn't you help us!?" Holy shit!

Even though I flinched at that, Kaguya didn't.

Soon, a couple of bunny soldiers hustle into the room. They each got a nice, big health tub thing. Aw…

"You're welcome." Kaguya gives us a nod! "Consider yourselves under my debt." Hoh.

woosh. Holy shit the skylight- is so cold! Jesus!

...So. I'm just kinda standing here, freezing my ass off, while Shimokoa just kinda cries in the snow some distance away, Sanjiro also freezes his ass off, and Genkan-... just looks drained! Man, am I glad we fuckin'-... invested in weapons!

"Man." I nod at the destruction… "I just wanted to freakin', get up ta some stupid shit today. Not this kinda stupid shit…!"

Maria's on the ground now, being quickly treated by the- oh, they're done already…? Holy shit.

...Genkan seems to relax, as the black-haired and green-haired bunnies pretty much have Maria patched up in like literally ten seconds. They put these weird bandages on her that dissolved, and gave her some different, yellowy kinda potion. Wait- was that a fucking elixir.

Shoof. Maria sits up in the snow. "...Wo- wow. I even have all my mana back…" Some freakin' world, isn't it. Where you can just-... go from 'pretty much dead' to 'nowhere near dead' in like ten seconds with the right medical supplies.

The black-haired bunny chick comes up to us. "Um… that's five million, six hundred thousand yen." Uh oh.

"Hey, hey." Kaguya waves them off! "They've got a royal debt instead. File the stupidity tax under self-sustained losses."

"Ye- yes, princess." The black-haired bunny girl salutes her, and begins to march out with the tub. "Let's go, Sawara-chan."

"Mmm!"

Hoh. Bunny people, dude.

"...Well!" I rub my hands together! "That- was a trip…!"

Genkan turns to me and Kaguya. "We're going to go play in the snow now. There will be no objections." Wait- I need my 'turn cold pain into cold pleasure' kimono on…

"Yo~!" That 'yo' was not from me. "Shimo-cha~n! Where'd ya zoom off to, Shimo-cha~n!?" Wat. Who. There's more of these people.

The voice was from some girl, or woman. I can't place who!

Clack. Aw. The push door is slowly snuggled open by-...

Ooh! It's another yuki-onna! She's carrying a pink boombox, and she's also got a pink-styled kimono on, this one covered in weird, kinda generic gradient-cyan ring designs.

...She stares down at the heap Shimokoa ended up in. "Aww, damn. Y'went and busted yerself, again. I'm tellin' you, Shimo-chan, y'should be takin' it ea~sy."

"Shut-... shut up." Shimokoa weakly refutes her!

Oh, yeah, this yuki-onna's got these pink heart-styled sunglasses on, and also long black hair. I feel like that's a trend!

Sighting us, she drifts closer. "Oo~h! Yo yo yo, Gen-chan! Long time no see, baby!"

...Genkan blinks, a little bewildered! "...I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Awwh!? Harsh, Gen-chan…" The yuki-onna adjusts her glasses with her fingers, like she intentionally replicated a nervous tick for the sake of style. "Actually, if ya need a reminder…"

"Ahem." She cleared her throat! "It is I, Ongaku, classical perfectionist, and entrepreneur of the arts. You may remember the years I spent studying the craft of those such as Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach." Wh- those're western artists. We're in Japan!

...Genkan's eyes widened! "Oh. It's- you! I remember you, if vaguely. We met three decades ago. But-... you've changed. A lot."

"Yeah!" She stops speakin' all sharply, and goes back to lettin' herself sway about as she speaks! "Y'know- one day I rolled up here in Eientei, uh- don't ask why or how- and the bunny rabbits here, girl- they introduced me to some sweet music! Here I was- thinkin' music hadn't moved in centuries, but s'all just 'cause I hadn't gotten connected with the outside world!" Hoh, shit! It's- a hipster-onna!

So-... she literally only thought classical existed, but the moment she found out pop and shit existed, she was just all about that instead. I guess it'd figure, but did she hafta adopt the culture too…!?

"...Huh." Genkan's about as, if not more, lost about this than I am! "Well. If it makes you happy."

Lifting her arm, uh- Ongaku fiddled with her boombox.

There's a record scratch! And then, some loud, funky eighties disco music starts playing…

"I run the Big Fluff Fun Club on the basement level, now!" She exclaims over her music! "All're welcome!"

The big fluff fun club. Oh my god, dude.

"...I'm more offended that I didn't make that!" I exclaim! "I'm all about the fluff stuff, dude!"

"Aww, yeah! Nazi-lookin' man!" Ongaku nods at me, and pats me on the shoulder! "I didn't know 'bout you, but you sound alright!"

Kaguya also just looks a little bewildered! "When'd we get a yuki-onna DJ…?"

"Also-...!" Ongaku opens her mouth! "I- y'know no- I'm not gonna say it." Oh…!

The tape in the box skips, and then really loud, intense, frantic rave music starts playing, making us all jump a little!

Click. Thankfully, Ongaku shuts it off…! "Oh, yeah. Funny story- I found Shimo-chan all cut up out 'round the village walls, trudgin' through the dry spell wit' that uh…" She points at Sanjiro kinda lacklusterly! "Him, I guess. Might be her boyfriend 'er somethin', I dunno-"

"Rrgh!" Shimokoa lets out a gutteral roar from the floor!

"Yo- like I said, I dunno, girl!" Ongaku shrugs in her general direction! "So I took 'em fer a spin up here 'fore Shimo-chan went kookoo, 'cause lemme tell ya- I think- ohp-" She gets close to us, and talks quieter… "If ya ask me~, she needs a little mental checkup…"

"So then we met this ghost!" Ongaku throws an arm into the air and bounces a little, to be both cuddly and faux-intimidating! "Real piece 'a work, she was, but she was pretty hip, an' I respected that, yeah? Took candy-ass and Shimo-chan out to the woods, kept me from followin', but they came back. Dunno what that shit was about. An' we met this bitch named Stephanie- I took her stylin' glasses." What the fuck kind tale's this…!?

click. She flicks a different pair 'a heart-shaped sunglasses outta her pocket! "Hehehe~! Y'see?"

And, fer awhile… none of us say anything. We are altogether just too freakin' blown away by this revelation! There's nothing we can add to this situation!

"Well." Kaguya rubs her hands together, too! "These guys're gonna go play in the snow. I'm gonna go~... well, I guess I'll follow you actually, 'cause I've never seen this-... Big Fluff Fun Club."

"A'right, sounds good!" Ongaku nods a whole bunch! "Here's my card."

fwi- fwi- fwish. She slips us all a card. It's got "BIG FLUFF FUN CLUB" in caps on the front, in English, but everything else is Japanese. Hoh.

"Let's get a move on!" An' with that, the really freakin' energetic hip-hop-onna chick moseys off! Kaguya follows behind her smoothly…

...Now it's just us, and the noobs.

"Yo." Stalkin' away from the friends, I stare down at Shimokoa, albeit a little cautiously. "Shimokoa."

She faces me, lying on her back in the snow. "Gh- ghet-... go away."

"If I'm really a freakin' noob," I pat my nazi outfit like a trustworthy kinda guy. "Why're you still alive?"

"...A question, worth co- considering, I suppose." Woah no.

Genkan hovers up next to us menacingly…! "If you'd actually managed to kill any of-... my friends, I-..."

"What?" Shimokoa grins up at us. "You'd-... kill me?"

...Genkan frowned down at her. "Perhaps. You'd be killing an innocent, and someone dear to me. Is that not what our despise for humans was based off of? We hated humanity for taking from us… but, we did not see the bigger picture. A person is more than their species, and more than others' perceptions. Just because you think and really insist that something is something, doesn't mean that the actual essence of that concept or object changes.

"I realize it, now. You were smart, and you helped me learn, yes, but-... somewhere, you stopped viewing things at their most basic. You recessed into your perceptions, and your learning stopped. Then, you went on to criticize me, for-... coincidences, related to my findings. Are you not fitting, your own, demonized description, of a human's disgusting complacency?"

...shoof. Slowly, Shimokoa sits up. Then, she stiffly navigates onto her arms and legs. "Nn- nnh…"

"Did you get all of that?" Genkan leans towards her. "Shimokoa."

"I- I heard you…" She only briefly flashes her face towards us. "I-..."

She tries to step away, before tripping onto her knees again. Slowly, she gets back up, and this time, floats away.

"Don't- leave me here!" Meanwhile, Sanjiro absorbed exactly none of that. "Aa- ah…!" Good!

Coming up to us, Maria stares at the pushable, heavy door that everyone left through. "Should-... should we do something, about her?"

"I want to see how she'll react." Genkan decided. "I'm curious, now. We must grow even stronger, or at least-... formulate a battle strategy, in the event she's still unstable about this. To be honest, I don't think she has a right to be trusted until we know she's no longer a threat."

"...Did you ever think of kiling her?" Maria suggests…!

Genkan exhaled. "The thought crossed my mind. But, I feel like I would be a hypocrite. Unless she killed one of you, then turnabout would be fair play. Although-... personally, I tire of these close encounters. First Brad, now you, Maria. Just dealing with this one sister of mine alone is enough to exhaust me…"

She turns to us, makin' the good conversation. "Can you imagine? Leading a collective, and if each one has the potential of being as problematic as her? It's unbelievable, how anything gets done."

I nod! "And that's why nothing gets done!"

...At the girl's stares, I clarify! "Your civilization has discovered society!"

"Society can remain undiscovered." Genkan says something dangerous…! "Brad, your nose is running."

Ye- yeah, it is. Uh. Time to change outfits!

Closing my eyes, I take my sweet time selectin' my components this time…

Fwi- click! I'm feelin' sandals, camouno and the good Toyota Honda earmuffs again. Silencing resistance sure fucking helped me in that last fight!

My nose is still running, despite everything. Well, it'll stop running, but the snot that's there will always be there, now!

Actually, where the fuck'd Ha-chan go. She probably got spooked during the fight, especially near that last part- oh.

I see her. She's under a three-cushioned chair couch stool… thing. It's fuckin' indescribable…! Freakin', old two-thousands home design tropes!

"He- hey." I turn to Genkan. "Can I wipe my nose on your kimono."

Genkan lets her brows raise in worry! "I wouldn't recommend it." Aw.

I turn to Maria.

She points her staff at me. "I'll explode your face off." Woah, no! Actually, wait…

"Idea." Since I heal from ice stuff… and, to be honest, the aches are kinda setting in…"Use Blizzara on me, yo. I need a tune up!"

"Ah, that's what you meant…" Maria wrongfully assumes I was not going to ask her if I could rub my boogies on her. "Sure. Ha~h…" She swings her staff back like a big hammer…!

Fwish! Lugging it forward, she unleashes huge chunks of ice that roar into me!

FWA- FWASH! The ice chunks explode into a maelstrom of frost against my body, snowflakes whirling everywhere post-impact. Aaa~h. I needed that.

...Bringing my hand to my face, I start wiping the frozen snot off! Now that it's frozen, it just flakes off! "I am a freakin' rocket scientist, dude!"

"Congratulations." Genkan comes up to us… "I know the easiest way outside from here."

"Wait!" I stop us all! '...Ha-chan's hidden over there."

I point at the snuggle fairy.

shoof. Genkan waves her arm in her general direction, and the couch seat bench thing she's hiding under floats away.

"You found me!" Ha-chan springs up! "...I'm cold!" Woah no!

"Didn't you have a winter outfit, at one point?" Genkan questioned her…! "What happened to that?"

...Ha-chan snaps her fingers! "Oh, that's right! Hold on, lemme go get it!"

She flies up, through the skylight into the boundless blizzard. Uh. Well…!

...Genkan turns to us. "She stole my idea." Aw. Wait- woah!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Genkan stole us from inside, and now we're floating about in ice space. I can't see the ground, there's too much snow…!

shoof. Genkan deposits us all… somewhere. "It's snowing!" Holy shit, Genkan sounds strange when she's not being monotone!

woosh. She accelerates off into the snow, somewhere. Woah no!

"It's surprisingly warm…" Maria has her pine frost staff out, 'cause it confers twenty five percent ice resistance. Freakin', weapons that protect your whole body from the elements, fer some reason…!

woosh. Genkan zips back up to us. She is really acting different to how she usually does!

"You're fluffy." I inform her.

...Abruptly, she lifts me by my armpits, and takes me away! It's a little jarring at first, but...

Aw. We passed some bamboo trees. As we get deeper into the foliage, away from the walls of Eientei, the snow storm actually gets weaker 'cause we're so deep into the woods.

"Ugh…" Genkan's actually annoyed by this! "We're going onto the rooftops, so we can snow-bathe." Snow-bathe, huh… and, the snowy rooftops could be interesting!

The way she's holding me has me face-to-face with her the entire time, so I really don't have any other choice than to just-... stare at her, while she lugs me around! She's nice, dude...

We pass Maria again! "Hey- wait for me!" She runs after us, but Genkan ignores her, for the moment…!

Ascending into the sea of white, we eventually stop-... somewhere. Dah.

Genkan puts me down on a something. "Here." Yay! Snow…!

woosh. An' then she goes somewhere, vanishing into the white.

...S'just me, and the sounds of fierce blizzard wind. Freakin'...

shoof. What, no. I hear a noise, and when I turn, a snow fluffle has appeared next to me. It looks around curiously, before hiding back into the snow. Aw, I have an idea!

Genkan returns, carrying Maria now. "Wo- woah…" Maria's hair really fwoofs up, 'cause of all the wind! Meanwhile, Genkan's just kinda flows, like it's supposed to be billowing in the wind; it's just natural.

Meanwhile, my hair's doing laps around my head. "Yeehaw!" Go, fwoof, go!

"He- hehe…" Genkan actually fucking giggled hold the freakin' phone holy shit-

That reminds me. I hold up the snow fluffle. "I found snow fluff."

Genkan accepts it, dude. When it turns its head to her, she brings it close to her face. Aww…!

"Where-... are we?" Maria looks around, just as lost as I am!

"Somewhere." Genkan will not tell, dude. "I don't think you can walk this- way-"

woosh. Genkan takes a step back, and falls off the roof.

...Floating back up, still holding the snow fluff, she lands before us! "Let me see how big this platform is. Actually..."

Crunch! She stomps her sandal forward-

KRI- KRI- KRI- KRI- KRI~NG! She executes that one trailing ice spike attack that Shimokoa used on me back in her house cave thing! It goes forward like ten feet, before stopping.

"...It's not big." Genkan deduces. "We may need a new platform." What're we even standin' on…!?

Actually, since my darts glow, I got an idea…

Fwi- click! After holdin' my eyes shut fer a moment, I switch in Red Scare and my gravity boots, in case I need 'em.

pap- pap- pap- pap. I fire NERF darts into the snowy mist, and their red-orange tint makes them stand out as they ping into the snow. One of them travels off into the aether, telling me where the edges of the universe are…!

"I think this is some kind of… tower." Genkan helps us out bigtime! "Let's get to a courtyard, or a larger rooftop, or something."

woosh. Aw. Scoopin' me and Maria up together, with the fluffle, Genkan slowly whisks us off'a whatever radio tower she stashed us on top 'a…

We move over a series of rooftops an' snowy abysses, and eventually, Genkan comes to this really low area…

It's a building-locked courtyard, with some short bamboo and ponds at all four corners of it. The midst is just, four stone paths which meet up at the center, and grass… although right now, there's a whole bunch of snow instead!

Shoo- shoof. Setting us free into the field of snow, and the white mist of the particularly intense blizzard, Genkan looks peaceful. "...Normally, this would be one of my primary times to feed whilst playing. But-... that's not necessary, now."

Whi- woo~sh! The fierce winter wind powers into us, rolling through the courtyard with surprising intensity!

Fwo- fwoash. Me and Genkan heal from it, for some reason, and Maria just seems unfazed…!

"Aa~h…" Genkan lets out a content sigh. "I wonder… what we should do now. Sometimes to spook adventurers, me and-... I would create decapitated snowmen, and craft stupid faces onto them." Hoh hoh!

"So- those stories come from you…" Maria gives Genkan a look! "I had a feeling, but I didn't think you'd be a hooligan when the snow rolls around."

"Hey, hey…" Genkan gives her a grin! "Sometimes, it just-... catches me in a really good mood. You know?"

"Actually!" I wonder, now! "How high can we make a snowman, before the wind molests it? What if you like- ran a really big ice cylinder through it…!?" Carbon-tubed foam swords are a thing, and they hurt to be hit by! And, they last a little longer...

"Ooh, yes!" Genkan's eyes light up a glowing cyan at that idea! "Let's do that!"

Instantly, she accelerates further into the yard, before bending down to start rolling up some snow...

"I've never really-... just done stuff in the snow, before." Maria speaks, as Genkan goes off to do her stuffs. "The village didn't have much in terms of space… and the alley snow is, you know. Grungy." Oof.

"I never really cared!" I announce! "...Until the snow started healing me!" The tables have turned! "Except, it always looked nice."

"Oh, yeah." Maria nods! "I was always curious, what winter seemed like outside the village walls. Inside, it makes everything past the walls seem a lot bigger… and then, there was that time we got harassed by the snow while trying to get out of the mansion." Aw, yeah.

Now I remember that time me and Marisa almost drowned in the snow together! An' then I had ta build her… an igloo. Aw. If I began drowning in the snow now, would I heal from it…?

shoo- shoo- shoo- shoof. Genkan rolled a big snowball up to us. "...What do you mean, you guys haven't even gotten started yet?"

"I- I think you just roll snow really fast." Maria retorts! "Actually. Brad- let's see you roll a snowball." Uh oh.

I have-... never rolled a snowball before. Aside from like, tiny ones, and only kind of.

Crouching down, I start- pushing snow off of other snow, and, uh…

Crunch! I flop into the snow. "Oof."

"...I don't think he knows how, either." Maria summarizes!

"It's relatively simple." Genkan declares! "...Well. Myself, I use ice magic whenever the snow isn't in a desirable state. If the snow isn't the right wetness, the ball won't stick to itself, and any attempts will fail." Jesus, building a snowman takes effort…!

Crouching down, her hands hardly have to articulate to mend some of the ground's snow into a ball, and then roll it forward, almost as if she just began scooping the top layer and it just went the way she wanted it to. "Then, you add more wet snow by rolling."

Since she starts with a tiny ball, I'll just grab some snow and stuff it into itself. Aw, there.

Takin' the moment, I store Red Scare away, and get back to the tiny ball. Now that it's tiny and a ball, I put it against the ground, and awkwardly kinda begin rolling it…!

I look to the left, and Genkan's snowball is already full-sized. Wat.

Lifting it up telekinetically, she sights the other snowball she rolled…

Fwish. A big ice pole is erected at the top of the first ball that she rolled, and the second ball is impaled through the top of it. Left behind from the impact is a column of snow, above where the pole was driven through!

Fwish. Genkan turns that loose snow into more solid pole, before accelerating off into the wintery fog again…

It takes a few moments, but eventually, I finish my snow ball thing, kind of! It's still pretty tiny, and it's not getting too much bigger, but it's up to my knees now, instead of my ankles!

"hi" A fluffle appears next to me, for no reason. "im snow fluff" Yes, dude…

I pick up the snow fluff. "Friend." And, then I nuzzle it…

Unlike the typical fluffle, this one seems like it's made all from snow. I accidentally grip it too hard, and its fins fall off. Uh oh…!

It nuzzles me back anyway! Dude- it has little grey freckles. "honh"

Genkan's next to me, with another finished snowball. "You delimbed it." Wat, no.

I grin at 'er! "I- didn't mean to, yo…! Snow fluffs, are gentle, and soft…"

...After blinking twice, Genkan reaches forward, and takes the head off of the snow fluff.

shoof. It dies, both halves of the body becoming regular snow. Genkan's lips curl in amusement…!

SHOOF. Out of the snow behind her, a really big snow fluff emerges! We both turn to it, 'cause it's so loud!

"im large and in charge" It asserts itself…! It's so big, that we can see the grass and stone path stuff under it, 'cause it used all of the snow of the area it spawned in.

"Oo- oh?" Genkan smiles up at it! "...So?"

"hug a me" It leaps twenty feet into the air, over us…!

Jerking her head back at the leap, Genkan quickly zips out of the way. Wait- oh no!

FWOOF. The huge fluffle lands on me, and explodes into a thick splash of snow and cold, a shockwave of cold energy roaring out from its impact.

FWOASH! It also felt really fucking good, actually! "Ho- hoh, shit…!"

...However, I seem to be buried waist deep in stuff. What, no.

Slowly, Genkan comes up to me, looking gentle. I stare up at her.

shoof. What- no! She begins pushing snow over me! Aaah- aaa~h!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Holy shit.

Genkan floats down from the airy fog above us. The snowman we've made is now too big for Smash. By which I mean, I can't see the top through the fog anymore! "That should be-... the eightieth ball." At some point, she just began making them in bulk, like ten at a time.

All around us, the luminescent tints of different lights are visible off the courtyard walls, and through various small windows. There's a watch tower that I only just recently saw too, to the area directly in front of us.

woosh. Genkan raises with ten entire snowballs, again. Hoh, hoh hoh!

"I need to find a way to use time magic better…" Maria voices an interest of hers out loud! "It seems really useful, if only it didn't eat all my mana…"

...I point at her. "You know how we coulda cheesed that entire last fight?"

She blinks! "How?"

"I woulda given you all my mana potions, and I woulda just fired my bomb darts ad infinitum." I state! "That way, you could probably cast Stop like, twenty freakin' times, and I would've hit her like five hundred times an' shot her through the wall!"

"I'd probably-... not feel okay, after drinking that many mana potions, though." Maria shook her head. "That stuff can make you really sick, you know." Hoh, hoh…

When Genkan drifts back down, I nod. "We'd probably also be gettin' freakin', lumps of coal fer Christmas, with a strategy like that."

...I turn to Genkan, who looks content, dude. "What's Christmas?" Wait- hol' up now-

"I think I've heard people talk about it, before…" Maria also doesn't know!? "I think it's a winter festival, in the west."

I hold my head! "You- guys don't know what Christmas is!?" Holy shit!

Behind Genkan, there are ten more snowballs again, all big enough to come up to my torso! "...Is it important?"

"Yeah, yo!" I face 'er incredulously! "It's the big holiday! When ya say holiday- it's what everyone thinks of! S'the holiday that defines the holiday season!"

woosh. Genkan sends the snowballs up to the top without her supervision, this time. "Is that so…? I've never really been one for festivals, myself. I'm surprised you are, actually."

"I dunno about festivals," I reason, "but how western holidays work-... it's like a vague feelin', leadin' up to the actual event. It's the one time 'a the year that normies actually appreciate the season's wintery-ness! Now that I think about it- it's kinda like-... 'winter: the holiday'." 'Cause, I mean… it pretty much is.

"Normies…?" Genkan doesn't know what a normie is! "You might have to go into more detail…"

"All I know, is that it's something about-... a fat guy, and giving presents." Maria provides! She's- not entirely wrong, but…!

"Yo!" Gettin' a little distance, I- freakin'... "Follow me, yo!" Let's get somewhere where the wind won't kick my ass while I'm tryin'a give a technical description of Christmas…!

I march over to this frozen pond, with trapped bamboo pokin' outta it. There's some bleak white lighting from a panel in the outer-Eientei walling, flickering in the wispy cold.

"So!" I stand on the ice, 'cause my gravity boots are fat enough to give me good leverage! While I skid a bit, I turn back to the nugget friends. "Lemme give ya both, a like- a rundown, on this whole Christmas thing!"

"This sounds fairly important, to you…" Genkan notes! "Why is it important, to you?"

I grin, and raise a finger! "Well, to me, Christmas time's the embodiment of relaxin', doin' fuck-nothing, and enjoyin' myself! Fantasizin', starin' into the rare sights 'a deep winter, and also your parents are typically obligated to give you free shit, which is a pretty big plus!"

Cla- clack. Actually, skating onto this ice wasn't such a smart idea, but I'll keep trying to walk back towards them anyway…! "Come the day 'a the event itself, stores close, schools stop tryin'a enslave ya, and yer left with a good day 'er two… to yerself! Or, family. Y'can just stay home, do whatever. Some freakin' noobs- they host stupid parties and try to force people to come at risk 'a lookin' like bad people if they don't, but don't worry about 'em…!" Screw you, extended family! Hopefully they never read this fanfic…! But uh, trust me: they won't. Wahaha!

"...The fact your society needs a holiday for that sounds worrying." Genkan let her brows raise a little! "A festival to justify not being used for work or-... whatever the outside school situation is. You make it sound like captivity, or prison." I mean, it pretty much is prison, except they tell ya it's fer your own good! 'Cause fuck you.

"So!" Once I finally near the girls again, I raise another finger! "Yeah, it is kinda fucked up, innit? But, that's the very basic idea! But, it's pretty much the last thing that invokes mainstream, winter-esque art, family value stuff, and common generosity. 'Cause y'know, some people're reminded they should give each other gifts around that time!"

"...Huh." Genkan raises a brow! "I suppose that says something about society."

Cru- crunch! I step around 'side the girls, 'cause I finally got my ass off the ice with enough stepping! "But! Aside from the dismal society shit, the big point's bein' able to enjoy it yerself… 'cause y'know, aside from winter itself sorta focusing on the individual person, when ya give people gifts, the idea's kinda that, y'know, you actually wanna give them gifts, fer themselves!"

"The individual focus does sound enticing." Genkan nods at that! "...But, like any festivity, there's a certain feeling that I don't believe can be described with words."

I nod! "Yeah!" Wait-... do you think Remilia celebrates Christmas!? Du~de! "Hoh, shit. We gotta figure out what day it is!" Probably not Christmas day, or even close, but yo!

fwi- fwish. Woah! The snow behind us is going crazy!

...It's getting closer, too! I point at it! "What- the frik is that…!?"

"Oh." Genkan doesn't seem paused, by it…

Maria steps up to it! "It's a kedama. They-... were around before fluffles, I think. They're kinda the same thing, except not as intelligent." You mean these things make fluffles seem intelligent.

...I mean, this is just a whirling mass of wind and shit, I think. What is this…

Fwam! Oh shit- it shoots danmaku! Even this thing knows how to shoot shit!

Fwo- fwoash. The teal bullets pan out and hit me and Genkan, and we heal. Then, the kedama rushes forward, and gets in Maria's face, making her hair spin around. "He- hey…"

Genkan reaches out, and the kedama disperses into nothing at her motion. Wow. What a difficult and intimidating enemy…!

"Good…!" I nod, at that…! "How come I haven't seen 'em around, like, ever?"

Genkan shrugs. "They've been a little rarer, since fluffles happened. Fairies serve essentially the same role as them, anyway." Hoh…

...Speaking of fairies, Ha-chan romps up to us, a big fluffy coat makin' her look so fluffy!

I point at her! "Oh my go~d, dude!"

sho- sho- shoof. She shuffles up to us in the snow. "I'm-... so snu~g!" She looks like she has so many layers on, she can't move her arms! Also- by the looks of that coat, she seems to have just stolen Meiling's shit instead of finding her own stuff again…!

"Let's make that snowman bigger." Genkan gets back to our tomfoolery. "It needs to be the biggest." Yes, dude.

...Sighting Maria, Ha-chan romps up to her, and bumps into her with her snuggle tubs.

Maria raises her brows! "Wha- no, Hana~... oh, alright." She hugs onto the snuggle fairy, dude.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

This is fucking trippy…!

With my gravity boots on, I hover up the side of our fuck-huge snowman…!

"I gotta introduce you guys to Christmas music." I communicate to Genkan, while I travel vertically up the snowman…!

"I'll keep that in mind." Genkan states! "Maybe." Wau.

We've been going up for, uh, awhile. How tall did Genkan make this…

She's ascending in the same posture I am, by the way!

"Next time we fight something…!" I begin, "we oughta' drop this snowman on them from orbit!"

"That- would be overkill…" Genkan considered the idea! "Dropping rods from high up, now that I think about it… would be an ironically efficient combat strategy." Someone's already beaten you to that idea, I think.

We should search for treasure in the courtyard after we're done with this snowman. I bet there's freakin' something weird, somewhere!

WHI- WOOSH- WOOSH. The wind is fierce up here. There's a subtle hum and general nice feeling from our bodies, the cutting icy winds instead healing our bodies as we ascend up the long side of this freakin' ten million meter snowman.

Soon, we reach the top. My boots let me continue forward, flinging me into absolutely infinity! Yeahaha~h!

But- no, Genkan stops me from roaring into the outer atmosphere like a maniac. "Careful- there." She grabs onto my legs, and right both herself and me as we drift above the top of the 'snowman'. It's more like a giant snow dildo for giantesses with ten mile long assholes, 'cause we didn't decorate the top snowball at all…!

We're somewhere so high, that I can see the shelf of clouds above us up close. The bamboo forest below is at the very bottom of an abyss of pure white…

After taking in the absolute vastness of this wintery nothingness all around us, I close my eyes…

Fwi- Click! I equip the Bee-Fitty-Fore Bawmber!

pap- pap- pap- pap! Slinging it over my shoulder, aimin' it forward, I fire into the abyss! "Jo~y to the world! With bo~mbs, and grena~des!"

"Wait- what are you shooting-..." Genkan quickly realizes what I'm doing! "If you get us in trouble…"

"Aa~h, it'll be fine!" It's uh, 'exploding snow' season! My bombs are weak enough to probably only impact the surface snow on all the roofs.

papapapapap! Yea~h! I am a nerf war maste~r! Look at them darts fall into nothing! Freakin' noobs, dude, freakin' noobs…

Genkan starts to rotate, to behold the infinite, lonely nothingness. But- then we see something that really shouldn't be up here…!

It's a luminescent, drifting thing, that looks like it's made out of stained glass. It's similar to a blue flower pod, before the flower blooms.

Since Genkan stopped us pointed at it, I assume she also is curious as to what the frik that is! I'm tempted to shoot bombs at it, but that might be a bad idea, so I don't…!

It seems to be floating closer, so we kinda wait for it…

"What-..." Genkan begins to speak! "What is that?"

Freakin'. "Good question…!" Me no see, no no. Oo~h! ...That- wasn't an 'ooh' of realization, that was just me goin' 'ooh'!

Genkan floats away from the 'snowman', bringing us closer to the weird floating pod thingy.

As we come closer, the bulb lights up. The stained glass-esque shards that comprise the petals of the floating, airborne thing begin to peel open…

"Hehehe~!" Aw! Fairies are inside of it! Fairies with huge wings, which glow…!

"Who is that? Issit 'a human?"

"There're two of them…"

"Humans aren't welcome, here…" Help, no.

"One's not a human. In fact, she's a daughter of the snow…"

The fairies with solid, white and angular energy wings start to flutter around us from a distance, difficult to make out in the day's solid white snow-induced mist…

Genkan brings us closer to the petal itself, which has a big platform in the middle of it.

Here, the platform seems made up mostly of ice, with a pearl-white, round platform in the very center, for some reason. Random icicles jut up from the snowy floor around it, and under it seems to be a frozen pond of some kind.

"What is this?" Coming up to the central platform, Genkan moves to put me down, before stopping. "...Turn off your shoes, before you get sent into space." Wahaha!

click. Crouchin', I turn off my shoes. An' then-

Clack! Genkan lets me go, and I land as I stand! "Woah…!"

The pearl-white platform has an expected tile floor-like texture to it. Hoh, hoh hoh…

One of the barefooted, luminescent ice fairies lands before me! Unlike most wild fairies, these guys're tall like the mansion's fairies. "Hey, mister! Snow lady, too!"

"...Hi." I greet her gently. "So, s'this the freakin'... seasonal, 'see how your abstract art flies' competition?"

Her dress is super simplistic, like you'd expect from tall wild fairies, I'd think. Her hair's kinda short and blue, but mostly just like, shoulder-length. "We were going for a little adventure. The winter drafts are so nice, aren't they?"

Another, suspiciously similar lookin' fairy lands near her! "Oh, Forever Frost, you shouldn't tell them anything. We'll be put in danger…"

"I am danger…" This other fairy with longer hair floats up!

The second one speaks again! "No~, just think about it. What if the humans came looking for us?"

Genkan speaks up! "Excuse me, but-... what is this place?"

...The fairies just kinda stared at one another silently, like it was a big secret dude. Aw- wait. I read up somewhere, the best way to trick people into telling you the answer to something, was to guess wrong and have them correct you!

Let's take some guesses, dude! "It's a really big frisbee!" Yes, dude! "Actually- s'more like-... it's more like a fidget spinner!" No one knows what that is!

"A- frisbee…!?" The middle one is taken aback!

"Aa- fidget…?" The second-most one raises a brow. "Actually- yes! It-... it is a fidget spinner!" Or- or, you know, they could also do that. Aaa~h, aaa~h!

Genkan gives us all a flat look! "None of these answers are correct, I'm sure. Why do you not trust us?"

...The third, especially long-haired fairy stepped closer to us. "You've brought someone not born of frost here, with you. We have no business with mortals, and especially none with one who does not share our essence."

Hoh, shit. "I am… the frostiest man around! I am-... old man winter!" I announce to them!

That same fairy aims forward a hand, at me. "Be frozen, human."

FWA- FWA- FWASH! Woah! A like- jet of ice magic roars from her, smashing into my face and body!

FWO- FWOASH! My body lights up with restorative energy! "Wohohoa~h, dude…!"

The other two kinda step back cautiously, for some reason! The long-haired ice fairy hardens her gaze. "You-... are superficially attuned?"

"I believe him to be trustworthy." Genkan announces! "...Enough, at least." Ho ho!

...Lookin' unsure, the third fairy here gives us a look not too far from a glare. "Okay. Um, guys-..." She turns to the other fairies, of the like twenty fairies in total, but only these three bothered talking with us.

The three huddle up together, and speak in totally mute gestures and expressions.

...I turn to Genkan! "Y'know…! S'kinda funny the fairies were able to tell why I resist cold faster than you were able to."

She snorts! "I mean-... it's rather uncommon. I'm not sure if I'd call it-... well." She pauses, thinkin' on it. "I suppose it is elemental attunement, in a way. But, to call someone attuned for donning related paraphernalia is-... it leaves something to be desired, I suppose. Especially now, and recently, as you've wielded fire and bomb related powers. Not very winter-related."

...I do still have the Bawmber out, don't I. Yeah, s'not uh… not very ice-elemental!

Taking the moment, the long-haired fairy turns back to us! "You ignore the connection it has created between itself and you. By nature, this alone extends a definition of attunement. True?"

...Genkan blinks! "Well-... I suppose. That's a rather-... animalistic way of viewing the both of us, is it not?"

...She just kinda flicks her gaze up. "Mortals." Wahaha!

Then, she and her fellow fairy friends turn back to us fully. "In any event-... we've decided, that you may speak to all of us." O- oh? But-... but what does that really mean, yo? Weren't we speakin' already!?

"...Oh." Genkan looks displaced!

"Everyone!" The long-haired fairy holds her arms out! "...Trust in us, and come together."

whish. Glowing brighter, all the fairies revolve inward, brushing past me an' Genkan, and joining the three in the center. As they get to their epicenter, they become featureless figures of white-teal light, and clip through one another, as they all mesh together…

"Nnh- haa~h…" From within the mass of light, there's some kinda collective moan, as if they all did a really good stretch in unison, before the light begins to dim.

Whoosh- whoosh. In the end, they all combined to form one really big chick, of some kind…! Her fucking huge arms extend, each able to reach to either side of the whole floating station thing we're standing on. Her hands end in familiar-looking ice gauntlets, with sharp claws for fingers.

Her whole upper body is exposed, aside from a snow-colored binding that contains her chest. Her face is particularly odd, 'cause it extends forward past where it'd normally end, making a really weird six-spoke flourish of flesh. Within her forehead- and in the extra skin beyond it- there's a big sapphire.

Atop her head is a small, stained-glass flower, not dissimilar from the thing we freakin' landed on.

She has no lower body, a pearl shell of some kind containing the waist and barring off all the stuff that'd normally be below the waist, with an angry mask of some kind hanging off of the rim of it. Icicles hang from the very bottom.

And, finally, instead 'a wings, she's got these capelet things.

"That's-..." Genkan looks intimidated! "That's a-... very powerful ice spirit…" Hoh, shit…!

The inhuman snow woman who floats before us emanates white light from her seemingly eternally closed eyes, and from the stars within her capelet things. "You, who have ventured to me…"

"Hi." I wave at her! "I like your-... lower body shell thing." Perfect start!

She leans forward, which is actually really surreal, 'cause she looks like she shouldn't freakin' exist…! "Human, snow daughter. What, would you say… constitutes, this occasion?"

"...We did not know what we approached." Genkan immediately works the diplomacy! "If we have disturbed you, spirit of frost, we apologize profusely."

...Slowly, I slide away my implement of terrorism! "Ah-... yeah. Y'know- I've heard about it before, I think, but how's that whole 'fairies smashing together to make a bigger fairy' thing work again?" Didn't they hafta be real similar…?

The big imposin' ice spirit girl just kinda stares me over fer a moment! "...I would not trust humanity with such knowledge." Woah no. Y'know, maybe for the better, but still, oof.

"Consider this a suggestion…" Genkan looks over at me! "I would recommend respecting the massively powerful spirit of frost."

I hold my arms out! "I mean-... I haven't said anything stupid so far! I think…!" Unless we count what I said to the individual fairies, then I'm not so sure!

"I am not one who finds intrigue in humanity, or even mortality." The big snow girl monotones down at us. Her face doesn't even have a mouth. She can't emote, at all! "Between you two, the only difference is your essence."

...Genkan notices my odd look at that statement, and chooses to fill me in! "She means-... she is one of some spirits who see no difference in mortals. From what I've read, this is a trait mostly exhibited by gods, but spirits and youkai can exhibit this perceptive trait too."

So… huh. That's weird! She also didn't reply to Genkan's explanation, in like, any capacity. No reaction, no looks, nothin'. Just, bobbin' in place as she hovers.

Eventually, after we look around like we're freakin' lost long enough, she replies! "This is not to say I am blind. One is human, the other, a daughter of frost."

"Yuki-onna…?" I question her choice of words!

"The names chosen by humanity do not create a perfect reflection of what something is." She clarifies…? "A mistake related to the idea of human faith, and its relation to youkai."

...Genkan notices how lost I look by how vague she worded that! "She may mean, 'what youkai are, aren't one-to-one with what humans end up seeing them as, despite youkai originating from human belief'. Or, so I think..."

Continuing, Genkan brings a hand to her chin. "But-... despite hearing of this idea, I can't help but be curious. How can human belief-... serve as any sort of vehicle, especially to create beings greater than them? Especially when I have beared witness to multiple examples of insufficient perceptions of events… and, by comparison to what you've brought up. If youkai do not correspond to individual perceptions, how might they respond to a collective? As in-... practically?"

...Boy, that was a freakin' essay question!

"Such is a question rooted in Earth's history." Snow woman supreme supplies! "For some time, humans were subject to their own fears. There was a change in the magic of the world, when it still persisted, and all of the world trembled. It was then that humanity became the most and least powerful beings, serving as an anchor for many other existences. That is all I know."

...How vague! That reminds me 'a some generic JRPG shit…

"Hey." I start to look crestfallen, dude, 'cause it's fluffy. "Are snow fluffs cuddly, dude…?"

"Your question has no meaning, and thus, no answer." What, no!

click! Snappin' both my fingers, I point at her! "What if, I told you… that you were sexy?"

...It takes 'er a moment to answer! "We exist in different realms, son of human. Just as a domesticated animal, to you." Ow. She just called me a barnyard animal…!

...I turn to Genkan as she stares at me, and gesture to her! "What if Genkan thought ya were sexy!?"

"My reasoning stands." Oof! I guess Genkan's a barnyard animal with me, dude…

Hoh. Well, she's fairly personable for a huge mean ice spirit lady, I guess.

"Hey- you ever try Cheez-Its?" I ask 'er! "They're pretty good. Actually- Cheese Nips're the good ones!"

"I do not use material sustenance." What. She's missing out, dude.

Genkan grins at me! "Stop asking her inane questions." Wahaha!

Wait, actually… "Do you know what a snow fluff is?"

"No." Well! Aw. I shoulda packaged one, dude.

I tap the sides of my head. "Do those extended fleshsicles at the top 'a your forehead ever get itchy?"

"My form does not contain the nervous structure of a human's." ...I- take it that's a no…?

"Frost spirit," Genkan tries to approach this a little more seriously…! "If we maybe so greedy-... may we ask of you, current events and ails?" Hoh, hoh!

She just keeps on starin' forward into nothing, like a goddy person does, dude. Well, not that she's a god, but she sure acts like one! "By mortal definition, there is nothing new. We, spirits of nature, seek recombination. For some time, we have sought a mortal avatar to host our ambitions."

I pat myself. "That's me. It's me. I'm him. I'll do it."

"You are not worthy." Woohoo~! "It must be a mortal who demonstrates exceptional unifying potential, with our own natural avatars. Armed with such ability, we would bestow upon them our gifts, so that they may never be usurped as they aid us." Wait…

Exceptional unifying potential-... and your avatars, are fairies. Fairies…

Hold o~n. "...You know a guy named Brittany?" I point at her!

"I relate to no mortal." Oh, right. If Brittany ever hit up these noobs, it would be in his own fuckoff sex dimension. Wait- if what I'm thinkin' is true, then-... he'd actually fit their bill something fierce! That guy's a get-raped-by-fairies machine, dude!

Actually, that reminds me. Reachin' into the bag of destruction, I bring out that big weird wooden key thing that Brittany tossed at me!

Holding it up, I wave it around haphazardly. "Y'ever see this before?"

WOOSH. Ooh! The big girl bends forward at a-... completely impossible angle, if she was a human she'd have just broke her torso doin' that. You don't- bend your upper torso and then curl your lower torso in at a forty five degree angle.

"That key…" She seems to look straight at the good key. "You may be wanted, at Mother and Child Isle. Right now, such is none of my concern. Who granted this unto you?"

I just kinda shrug, exaggeratedly. "Freakin'- I dunno, that guy named Brittany. We went diggin' through a couch one day, he pulled it out dude, an' he was like 'shieu~t, man'! Weird shit, dude."

"That account is impossible." Ho ho! "I however understand your stance. I will inquire no more."

shoo- shoo- shoof. Ooh. Someone's shuffling through the snow behind us. Somehow, none of the snow stacked up on this pearl platform we're on…

Aw, dude! It's Ha-chan! "Hello~!" ...Once she reaches us, she turns to me! "Maria sent me up here, 'cause she didn't know what happened to you guys!"

"We died." I stare at the ground…

"Oh." Ha-chan takes it in stride…! "Ooh! Who's that!?"

...Big ice lady doesn't say anything to her, at first! But then… "I see. You are-... similar to the fragments of Raijin-no-haha." Hoh. Raijin-... no haha?

"Haha?" I raise a brow! "Floof, snoot…?"

Genkan faced me again. "It would mean something like… 'thunder god mother', to you." Oh. I'm gonna assume the border of translation had a whacky time with the name.

"The snoot floofed." I let myself deflate…!

Ha-chan gets closer to me 'cause I floof-snooted! "I dunno what all of that meant-... but, you're really pretty!" She compliments the big creepy ice lady!

But, she doesn't say anything back. Wauru…

...Now, Genkan turns away from the big ice lady. "Perhaps-... we've done all we can here, then. I can't think of anything more worth troubling her over… unless, we wanted to dump our personal problems onto her, out of curiosity."

Eeh, maybe, but… "I mean, she might be wise, yo, but I don't think she'll relate." If there's been one runnin' trend, s'that she and mortals, they don't mix!

"It's really cold up here!" Ha-chan insists! "Wo~w!"

An' so, we just kinda turn around 'cause holy shit this was weird!

Genkan waves behind us was we go. "Goodbye, great spirit." What a fluffy parting, dude. "You will be remembered."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 95

=!= STATUS =!=

= = ► EQUIPPED ITEMS - BRAD:

WEAPON: Unarmed

HEAD: Toyosatomimi's Earmuffs

TORSO: Camouflage Kimono

PANTS: [Camouflage Kimono]

SHOES: [Camouflage Kimono]

MISC ONE: None

MISC TWO: None

MISC THREE: Carrot Medallion

RESULTING STATUS:

150% Ice resistant.

100% Silencing resistant.

Sound protection.

When unarmed, evade is vastly improved.

= = ► EQUIPPED ITEMS - GENKAN:

WEAPON: Fans

HEAD: None

TORSO: Absolute Zero Kimono

PANTS: [Absolute Zero Kimono]

SHOES: Plain Sandals

MISC ONE: None

MISC TWO: None

MISC THREE: None

RESULTING STATUS:

300% ice resistance [200% native]

300% freezing resistance [200% native]

-50% fire resistance [native]

-50% burning resistance [native]

= = ► EQUIPPED ITEMS - MARIA:

WEAPON: Pine Frost Staff

TORSO: Casual Freeze Clothes

PANTS: [Casual Freeze Clothes]

SHOES: Casual Shoes

MISC ONE: None

MISC TWO: None

MISC THREE: None

RESULTING STATUS:

75% ice resistance

200% freezing resistance

Slightly improved magical defense [native]

==o==

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

oh hey i didn't give this an initial author's note, 'cause it didn't warrant an inventory update

but it was a pretty fun chapter, the shimokoa fight was pretty solid albeit a little lengthy - w -

the big spirit we met was pretty fun, and also playing in the snow…

sometimes there's a few moments where i kinda feel like inserting something but then i'm like "the dynamic is really strong as is so uuaueh". so, it's a little wau

despite all the current happenings, i still have a lotta different ideas for the eientei area!

but hoh…

as always, see you all next time!