(in which we go to a crazy ultra super awesome castlevania mansion in the east)

Nnh. This water's pretty good, dude. Y'know, Reimu has more teacups than she does actual glasses. For some reason, that surprised me…!

S'just been a few moments since I snapped at Merry, an' she gave me a VCR with a handle. Essentially.

"Ha~h." Nothin' like a cool cup a' water, dude. I say, having not consumed drinks in ten million years. On camera, anyway. Let's pretend I don't just forget!

Do I still got my Mew Shoes on? Oh, I don't. Maybe I should-

clack. Genkan places the plain table back where it should be. Y'see- there was this fluffle with bombs instead a' fins, and- nevermind…

"Well." Securin' it in place, she looks over at me. "...We don't really need to stay here any longer."

Sanae's already wavin' into the main room. "See ya, Reimu!"

"Wait, hold on…" Reimu quickly romps up ta her! "You're leaving already? Not that I mind, but…"

"Yes, we are." Genkan answered, lookin' over at them. "We need to go somewhere quiet."

Gauging her answer, Reimu snorted. "I still want to know more about whatever just happened, but…"

"I don't think there's a whole lot more to know." Sanae reasoned. "At least, I don't think we know anything else. I've been with these guys like… all day yesterday."

Lookin' curiously neutral, Reimu just rests her gaze on me while Sanae's talkin'. I just kinda look back.

"Mmh." With that, Reimu indifferently pans around, and starts to step backwards. "I guess… I'll think about this tomorrow. I do want you to get back here at some point, Sanae. I need answers."

"...Re- really?" Sanae was some kinda surprised. Not sure if pleasantly or not! "I could come right back real soon, if you-"

"Take your time." Reimu didn't wanna do anything today, though. "Wasn't planning on wasting my day like that. Try tomorrow, or in a couple days, or something. I'll be asking around about this."

"...Asking around?" Genkan wondered. "Why?"

"That blonde chick." Reimu noted. Despite answerin' Genkan, she continued to stare at Sanae. "She can use gaps, right? And, you said she confronted you before, right? Then I've got to know more about this. Something's very wrong. And, it's probably Yukari related, which just makes it that much more esoteric, boring and annoying."

"...Ah." Sanae couldn't say much to that. "Ye- yeah."

With that, Reimu went back to the main room, without so much as a romp or a stroll; it was more of a stomp, or a subconsciously, oddly authoritative march. Dunno how I could describe it, other than like, "deliberately indeliberate"... or rather, "purposefully without purpose"!

Actually, no. It's like when ya become self-conscious of the way you walk 'cause, for some reason, ya began to pay attention to how you were walkin'. Wahaha!

...So now, it's just us!

Genkan takes a look down at her own boobs, before looking up at me. Then, she realizes I was lookin 'at her! "We-... we should probably leave. The mansion, Brad?"

I confirm my answer! "Yeah, yo."

She moves for the door outta the kitchen an' into the outside.

Takin' a look at me, Maria shuffles by, followin' her.

...Sanae's lookin' somewhat idle behind me! S'time ta get a move on!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We are now… outside the Hakurei Shrine. In fact, we even went down the whole hillside, and are just gettin' onto the path at the bottom now, amidst the vague sunlight.

The sun's not overbearing; it's one of those moments where the clouds hide just enough sun, so the day's still gold, but not neon-in-your-eyes all the time.

"Dude…" My cheeks become slightly fluffier, as I smile gingerly. "It's a nice day, dude."

...Maria gives me a look, and smiles a little. "Are you-... really just, um, gonna ignore all that?"

Smilin' small time, I look over at Genkan, who's lookin' at me, then back at her. "Yeah?"

"How?" Maria almost like, grins! "Why would you ignore all that? Do-... do you think we wouldn't have questions, or anything?"

Dauh. "...Uuh." This-... this is a unique situation. "I dunno. Do ya?"

"Yeah." Maria nodded. "I bet Genkan does too."

...Genkan does look curious.

"Well, uh…" I mean… "What questions, yo?"

...An' of all questions, that one was the real stumper. Or rather, they both seemed to think on this, 'cause they hadn't considered this fully yet.

Wind sweeps through the stick-bare trees around us. There's uneven clumps of snow all around, 'cause it's winter.

There's something cool about the path we're on, cast in the ivory sunlight and the airy cold of a winter day. It reminds me of seeing the sky from within an airplane, seeing the endless horizon, and almost seeing how cold it is in the atmosphere. For some reason, the horizons during summer feel different.

Genkan went first! "You said, that you disliked getting attached to people. Is there more to that?"

...Damn. Never really put-... well, I've put thought into it, but you know… s'not like I ever thought coherently about it. Why the hell would I tell anyone…!?

"Yeah." I'm not sure how to start.

It always just seems like people are in it for themselves. Not in the cliche 'oh no, everyone's a super self-centered bastard' sorta way, even if that happens too. Everyone's got shit they gotta do. School, work, interests, reasons to keep separated from other people.

When I wanna really discuss shit wit' people, I feel like I seldom get my ideas out. It's in those moments a' bein' serious, that I realize I'm just listening, and they're just talking. An' it wouldn't be the pot calling the kettle black, 'cause I wanna like… provide something contextual. But then it'd be like 'yeah um no' and it'd become a worthless circular discussion.

An' then, life comes in. It's like we only talk long enough for me to hear 'em bitch at me, and then the conversation is over, and I can't even say anything back. No amount of thinking is superior than the coincidences that stifle discussion.

I hated how pointless that felt. I hated just listening to people, fer so long. Not that I wanted to talk over them, I just… wanted ta stop giving a shit.

...Maybe my standards are just weird, and I just got too invested. Then, when they turned off or were dumb, or shit got in the way, I was just like 'yeah people are gay'. Maybe… maybe I've been hurtin' for someone like Genkan for a long time. Nah, I have been hurtin', whether I freakin' knew it or not. I feel like… she gets it, somehow.

An' even if she didn't always, the whole climate of Gensokyo almost feels like it brings that freakin' zen-like patience I had when I was a little shit back. And, like… I love her. She matters.

Art and games and shit always preach friendship, but it takes real experience to know what friendship even is. Everyone has a different threshold for it, and since so many people throw it around carelessly, no one really knows how shallow the term has become to some.

"There, like-... there are those who live so sheltered from bonds like the ones I've witnessed and experienced, that even the basic shit I do an' feel is inconceivable."

"Lotta people on the outside don't know what friendship is." I begin. "...This bleeds into the systems, into business, into education, and-..." The irony of education bein' uninformative struck me suddenly. "That said, there was a ton a' people who I didn't think were worth it. If ya put too much time into an idiot, you'd be outta effort, time, and money. Just a big loser all around."

Like, when a dude's young, they can be all starry-eyed in their lonesomeness as they wanna be… but, lemme tell ya: being alone is better than forcing yourself to be around morons.

"Have I ever said, I hated talkin'?" I grin at the girls! "'Cause I think I hate talking…!"

"You don't like losing people…" Maria seems to absorb what I say. "But, you also don't really like connecting with some people, either. 'Cause the world's stupid. But… don't you kinda create your own problem, then?"

Well, first, uh- how'd Maria keep up with me through all of that? Hoh, shit!

"...I'd say yes, but there's more." I still contest 'er. "I just hate when the connection doesn't happen. Somethin' frustrates me. Something about some people, I just-... it's just frustratin' an' futile."

Maybe I'd forgive pointless discussions more now. No- I would forgive 'em more now. Just 'cause this is Gensokyo, and not the outside.

"How about us?" Genkan questioned next. "Do we frustrate you?"

I actually snort. "...Nn- no. Ya don't." Fer all intents and purposes, I shoulda been more discomforted by the time Genkan used ta be ruder to me, but ever since I came ta Gensokyo, everything was just one big acid trip of smiles, occasional broken bones and fluffles. I wasn't 'bouta get awkward fer shit, yo.

Actually. You know what's a big part of it? Inhibitions.

"Why?" Genkan asks while I think.

"...'Cause of a few things." I begin. "...First, I don't got any motives holdin' me back. I don't gotta make money to not die, I don't gotta waste the next ten years of my life in some lonely, fuck-off institution, and I don't gotta push people away- and get pushed away- 'cause nobody's got time for that dumb shit."

People on the outside must feel like rats. An' it sounds corny, but it really do be like that! Y'get packed into buildings to hold you for years, then you're expected to categorize yourselves. You could go months, years, with the same environments, the only release being media. There's no adventure.

"Second… s'just how it is, I guess." I dunno how to describe it. "Somethin' like this party just couldn't exist on the outside. An' if it did, it'd be somethin' easily broken, and unknowable ta most."

"You guys're all damn cool." I dunno what else to say. "...I-... y'know, I don't often go off on the things I like. Felt like I complained all the damn time on the outside…"

After all, anger is a heavier weight than any other emotion. It pulls better, sticks longer. It's the drive at the heart of any being.

But y'know where I don't do a lot of complaining? Gensokyo! Well- I guess I've done more complaining as I've thought of the outside, but…

"What do you think of friendship then, Brad?" Genkan continues ta poke around in my head. "Not the outside's thoughts. Yours."

"...I- I dunno." The brain bank's runnin' dry…! "It's good. It makes us strong, as well as weak. But, as social creatures, we all need it, ta some extent. The people who never truly bond with other people in any way… those who are truly alone, they stop bein' human. Or, people, rather, they stop bein' people. But- that's a different story, really."

"Is it?" Genkan wondered. "...I suppose it is, in part. But… it may say something about friendship. Relationships."

...I nod. "Yeah. It does, actually. They're important ta develop ideas, and personality. They're important for mental health, 'cause they affect your grasp on reality. To abandon others, without knowing exactly what one is doing is, like… it's some kinda suicide. Like, imagine a kid who never bonds with their parents, other kids, or any adults, or like, anything, even media. They grow up ta be someone just as empty, both in the heart and in the head."

And, y'know, it varies. Some people find that grasp they need from things that aren't people, but still are from people. Media like games, literature and movies. Sometimes these alternative routes are necessary, 'cause the parents are shit, or other people in their life are shit.

"This is the shit art, stories an' games try to touch on." I end. "But they don't even come close to tellin' it straight. An' even if they did, the only people who'd learn from it… they wouldn't be the vocal ones, I'm sure. I wouldn't be a vocal one."

After all… s'like, it's hard to convey understanding. No one's listening, either…!

Ho~h. That left me kinda winded! And there's still so much I wanna consider and say- but it's really a whole lot easier to not. Both for my interest, and everyone else's! S'also easier to follow when y'keep it short. S'what they say, yo: 'keep it simple, stupid'.

I hardly ever feel like I express everything that's actually integral to an idea, because in order to actually express it, it requires careful packaging to be not only understandable, but presentable. In words, people don't got time for that shit. Say it in ten seconds or less.

Not that I've had like, a lotta those kinda talks in Gensokyo. I haven't really had a lotta big lamely mediocre talks in Gensokyo!

"Not bein' able to express my ideas to people… on the outside, that used ta set me off." I decide. "I used to get really frustrated. Sometimes, a conversation doesn't go the way y'want it to. If you're particularly unlucky, someone's view of ya switches in the blink of an eye. I've always lived suspectin' anyone could be oddly retarded at a moment's notice."

"Trust issues." Genkan nodded, and gave my mood a plain name that I'm surprised didn't come to me sooner. "I'd suspected you had some of a sort. I hadn't expected to learn more about them so quickly, however."

As we neared the Misty Lake, she continued plainly. "What then, did you fear?"

...She speaks so freakin' clearly, dude. 'Specially compared to me! Anyway-... "I mean-... usually, it was like-..." Oh! That reminds me!

"I used ta have dreams." I recount a recurring thing that used to happen ta me, "where my mind played out a like, day or two, in the worst case scenario. People just decidin' to be dicks, disliking me, trying to make my life harder. I'd feel the stressful feelin' of tryin' to shrug each shitty event off, an' when I woke up, I'd be so relieved."

Maybe it was just my mind's way of coping with building stress in the day. Sayin', 'hey buddy boy it could be ten times worse' as justification to put up with whatever shit I'm goin' through.

And, y'know, it really could be worse. I wasn't exactly dyin' out there. It was just mediocre.

"An' I always thought, those versions of people I saw in them dreams-... those were basically the worst case, bad luck scenario." I go on. "I always felt like people had a probability of actin' certain ways, or agreeing and disagreeing with certain ideas, or when it came ta… deciding whether or not they liked an idea. Presentation seems ta like, change that. It makes a bias. An' the people who do the decision makin', they don't realize they're subject ta this."

It's that unreliability that makes me hate socialization, in a way. Fuck that RNG shit…! And- I could already add like twenty "maybes" and "perhaps" kinda things to my statement, but y'know, who'd really care after a certain point? S'just rambling once you add too many ideas. To make it not rambling, it's gotta become an essay, and no one's got time for that. Lose-lose situation!

"Like…" I think on it. "There's a probability that I phrase this whole conversation wrong, an' suddenly instead a' just recounting vague grievances- 'cause ya asked- I'm just bein' a whiny little bitch. There's a probability that I may or may not be doin' too much rambling, an' that tilts the conversation in a negative way. I might not get enough time and express the wrong parts of my ideas, and that misrepresents them. Just-.. nnh."

"Do-..." Maria speaks up, sensing my pause. "Do you always look at things, that way?"

"...Not really." I shake my head. "But, when a talk goes in an unsatisfying sorta way, an' I get in a bad mood, my mind returns to that idea. I'd like ta think people use logic, but really, it's only in effect part a' the time."

...As we vaguely meandered around the lakeside, I hear a like, whining kinda sound nearby. It's loud, too!

I look back- holy shit! Sanae an' Ha-chan have been followin' us! They were so silent!

...Sanae looks put on the spot when I focus on her. "...He- hey." Yeah, hey!

"Part of the problem of trying to convey many ideas at once…" Ooh? Genkan speaks… "It's very easy to forget covered ground. I remember, the times sisters of mine have preached their words to me and others at length. Come thirty minutes later, and all but the vague structure of the prior conversation is wiped from our memories, especially if we're all going at our own ideas."

...Yeah. In a way, it's a sign of a good conversation. But, it also shows how weak single conversations can be! This is why people call repetition useful…

vrrrrr. We get closer to that whining. Alright, freakin'-... oh.

We round a tree near the edge of the lake, and uh…

Cirno's sittin' on a crate, on the grass before us.

Plainly, Daiyousei's holding up a two-handed power drill. It's roaring with life, and held right next to Cirno's head…!

"Okay, Dai." Cirno spoke really loudly! "Put it in, and don't stop."

"Wh-" Genkan fluffs up, upon seeing this!

She comes up ta them, and gets in their faces! "Don't do that…!"

Cirno glares! "Don't get in my way- ice lady!"

Fwash- Fwoash! ...She threw a blast of ice at Genkan, an' all it did was heal her.

...Brushin' the snow off her red sweater, Genkan furrowed her brows. "I'm not sure what you're both doing, but I'd rather you not. At least, not as I pass by."

"I need ta get smarter." Cirno nodded. "So, I'm having Dai mix up my brain."

I turn to Sanae. "Can fairies get brain damage?"

Ha-chan answers instead! "No!"

...After we stare at her, she smiles slightly wider. "It's been tried before…" Ho~h!

Genkan shakes her head! "I'm more disturbed by the fact either of you would be okay with this idea, or expect it to proceed pleasantly."

"...I don't know." Daiyousei looks really nonchalant! "I was kinda bored. And-... Cirno wanted to do it."

...With that, Genkan just kept floatin' forward. "On second thought, I no longer care."

vrrr. No one objects to this, an' we all just kinda keep going, as Daiyousei starts the drill again…!

...Once we're some distance away-

Pi~chun! Daiyousei, the absolute madfae.

Genkan cups her hands on her face, brushing them over it, 'fore deciding to just facepalm! "That-... alright. Sure."

I'm grinnin'! "Fairies, dude…"

Wait, what was the power drill plugged into? ...Maybe it was a magic drill. Ooo.

"Anyway…" Genkan looks over at me. "Where were we?"

Oh, shit. "...We literally just got all meta 'bout losing train of thought, too!"

"Oh, gods." Genkan slouched an' actually grinned, as we continued! "How mortifying."

What was before that? I was talkin' ideas an' shit… an' how I- right, how ideas could get long-winded.

Maria's expression at us was freakin' dry. "You guys were talking about how long-winded ideas could be. Before that, Brad went off on how people… um, got put off by certain ideas, and how to him, talking to people felt like gambling sometimes, instead of talking."

Hoh, shit. She's right! ...Also- I noticed even her struggle a little remembering what we just talked about.

"...But, yeah." After sayin' all that, I feel a bit more peaceful. "What was the original topic?"

"I believe it was how you didn't like getting attached to people." Genkan returned to the good point…

"Oh, yeah." I nod bluntly. "Yeah, a lotta people were so mediocre it felt like a waste of time." Y'see- when I just put it like this I kinda sound like an asshole, but it's true! "Imagine human villagers, but everywhere, an' there's ain't no-... there's a lotta them!"

"Oh." Genkan instantly sees. "Point made."

Hoh. ...As we continue, Genkan adds onto that even. "I might even agree. Except, the volume of people we've met… is probably quite different. Me, experiencing only my sisters for decades, whereas you had near constant interaction with a huge amount of humans."

"Probably!" Ain't doubtin' her there! "I don't think you'd be as disillusioned."

There's still so many more ideas I wanna get out there, but like-... if I only gave them a brief customary nod then no one's absorbin' shit to begin with. The moment it feels like a fight to express ideas, you've lost, 'cause-... 'cause yeah.

Maybe I just need to get better at makin' a fuckin' twenty minute powerpoint out of every goddamn bitlet of a subject I think of. And, conveying the understanding of logical shit is just-... ugh. Oough!

...I turn back, an' look at Sanae again.

"Yer quiet…!" I note!

...After smiling awkwardly, she gives me a slight, playful glare. "I haven't had a lot to say. I'm saving my energy for the mansion. And, like-... you and your girlfriend needed a moment, after all of that."

Y'know, fair enough. She's right.

Hoh! Well, the mansion ain't far away now. We killed a ton of time debating philosophy.

"Do you have… any other grievances?" Genkan asked of me!

"Y'know, they don't exactly come to mind, off the top of my head." I'm still real tired, though. "...I would say, it'd come to me as it comes, but usually, here in Gensokyo… it doesn't quite! Except- when the Human Village is involved." Ah, yeah. Humanity…!

"I'd say that problem is different." Genkan gave me a good nod… "Well…"

Wh- aah. As we meandered along, she just up and stopped floating, started walkin', and wrapped an arm around me.

"You know." Maria gives me a blunt look. "It feels really weird to hear Brad say things, like… seriously, for once. I- in this tone, that is. Using words he really doesn't use..."

"It is strange…" Genkan slows us all down a little, as she keeps me close. "I find it to be a pleasant surprise. I figured he was more thoughtful than he let on at most times… but, until now, it was hard for me to make sense of his troubles, or to even really trace them. We both saw his… 'dream self', and how angry he was. A moment like this is him properly describing some of that anger."

"I'm right here, y'know…!" Callin' me 'he' when yer holdin' onto me is weird, yo…!

Genkan gives me a fluffy look. "When you're serious, you remind me of my sisters, almost. To think, when I'd dismissed you just for being human, I was at risk of losing moments like these."

"...Yeah." Maria thought on that. "That is something."

I still smell perfume on Genkan, fer some reason. Gettin' held onto like this… feels good. She's so close.

fwi- fwi- fwish. While we continued around the lake, towards the mansion's front, some fluffles shuffled out of the bushes…

They were loaves with no limbs, but they could still shuffle. "we are the merry three"

fwi- fwi- fwish, fwish. Aw. Some kedama dust whirl things came out of the bushes after them, and drifted towards us…!

Behind us, Sanae floated into the air.

woo~sh. A particularly breezy gale passed up from behind us, and Genkan's hair got in my face somehow…

The kedama were driven back across the trees by the wind, and the loaves flopped over. Awh.

As we started to pass them, Maria bent down and took one, and Ha-chan took another. We're stealing fluffles...

Genkan uses her left arm to get her own hair outta both our faces. "How intimidating."

Only a couple more moments later, and we were shufflin' on up to the manor gates ourselves.

Wh- aw, dude! Meiling's got a Santa hat on instead of her usual green beret thing!

whump. Ha-chan lumps her in the face by tossing the loaf fluffle.

"Nn- ah…" Blinking her eyes open, Meiling quickly squints them, as dust fills the air around her. "Achoo!" Wahaha!

As she looks around while recovering from the sneeze, she sees Sanae! "Aa-... ah, hey!"

"Heya!" Sanae gives her a single, big wave! "What's with the Santa hat?"

"...The- oh, this?" Meiling adjusted her red Santa cap… "Y'know it's like, Christmas in five days, right?"

...When Sanae says nothing, I look back at her and see a face of absolute, sheer surprise!

"I forgo~t!" Sanae yells!

"Ho- how'd you forget!?" Meiling beams big! "Yer practically a shut-in!"

"Some things happened recently!" Sanae doesn't go into detail! "...We actually came here to kill some time, and stuff."

Meiling gained a healthy smile, dude. "Oh? We're setting up for the upcoming Christmas party. But, if you don't mind that, I'm sure everyone'd be happy to see ya."

I want there to be a snowball fight, except instead of snowballs, people throw Christmas bulbs around, and then a ton of fairies start complaining about getting shanked by their maid uniforms.

Also- wait, again, how's Sanae know anyone at the mansion…?

Crea~k. Meiling opened the gate plainly, by pushin' the back of her right heel into it. "Say hi ta Flan for me."

"Aw…!" At that, Sanae just bolts on inside ahead of us…!

...The four of us out here kinda look around a little, 'fore makin' for the gate.

whump. Maria threw her loaf fluffle into Meiling's face next. "Wh- why…?"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Aah. Here we are, dude. The Scarlet Devil Mansion foyer. Aw, dude!

There's a buncha Christmas decor in here, dude! There's a tree on either side of the foyer stairs! Undecorated, but still here!

...Also, some broken bulbs on the floor under them. An attempt musta been made, dude.

Stockings hung along the rails of the stairs, 'cause who cares about stair safety. And- some Christmas lights clumsily hung from the two-story ceiling, some fairies apparently trying ta find a way to put them up that actually looked good…

"Alright-... alright, look." Ahead of us, there were fairies, dude. Wait, uh oh.

Komi, ye olde classic wannabe dominatrix fairy with long black hair, was holding up a box. "Koi. You put the bombs on the right tree. I'll handle the left tree." The bombs…!? Son…!

"Wh- what about me?" Namori, despite her slender height, tried ta seem small while standing next to the even-smaller-by-nature Koi.

For those who don't remember, Koi's the shortstack wit' orange hair, and Namori's got short blue hair but is kinda medium height. Sorta like Maria, now that I think about it! 'Cept Maria's fwoofier.

"...Does Christmas involve bombs?" Genkan asks me, still holdin' onto me by my right shoulder…!

I shake my head plainly. "It's Jingle Bells, not Jingle Bombs…! Unless it's in the Middle East."

With that, Genkan lets go a' me, and floats up ta them. "You three."

...Catchin' Genkan's gaze, Komi scowls. "...Oh. It's you." Then, she sees me! "...Hmh. Been some time, hasn't it? Brad."

Koi perks up really hard, for some reason! "Brad!?" She dropped her crate- uh-

KRAK- KABOO~M! We all jump a little! The crate she dropped actually just become a column of explosions before herself!

FWOASH! Koi heals from all of the amber…! "Whoa~h!"

Clumsily, carefully setting her own crate aside near the foot a' the stairs, Komi leers at us. "This-... this time…!"

Then, she points at us. "That human will be my slave!"

I step up next ta Genkan! "...When'd ya freakin' clowns learn my name?"

"Brittany told us, during one of our visits." Komi's smile widened. "She gave us some advice, too."

"C'mo~n!" Once Koi got outta her bomb-induced euphoria, she pouted at us. "It's been months! We just wanna fuck!"

"I- I don't… really care, anymore." Namori is actually over everything…! "But-... if Komi and Koi want to…"

Furrowin' her brows, Genkan questioned them. "Why do you three obsess over him?"

"He's the only guy I've seen for like a year!" Koi immediately remarked. "I wanna love on him!"

"He defied me countless times over the past few months." Komi folded her arms. "Come hell or high water, I'll make him, and you, kneel."

"Um…" Ha-chan came forward, to negotiate! "Guys, stop. We just wanna relax. Today's been hard on Brad." Awh.

"What is your obsession with him?" Komi stomped up closer to Genkan… "Tell me that."

"He is my boyfriend." Genkan announced!

Komi got really close to her! "...Not on my watch."

"Don't anger me." Genkan tried to lean into her, which made Komi flinch back immediately. "You don't know anything about our love. I know more than one way to draw out the punishment of a particularly ugly fairy."

Komi snorted. "Hah. You're a wannabe. I know how to draw the bitch out of fragile women like you."

Ha-chan hustled closer! "Komi-chan, stop-"

wham! Komi elbows her away. "Get away from me, slut."

"Aa-..." Stumbling back, Ha-chan held onto her own stomach. "Oo- ow…" Awh? She's like, tearing up, too. Oof.

fwish! Sliding back on her maid shoe's heel ta reach the stairs, Komi drew a bulb grenade from the crate behind herself. "If you defy me, my slaves will make you cry. Give up your boyfriend."

...Genkan shook her head plainly. "I think not. Begone, fae." She held up her hand…!

Namori held out a hand of her own. "Resist Ice!"

ti- ti- ti- tink! Oo- oh. A field expanded out from Namori, diamonds of some kinda energy running up the bodies of the three fairies.

Fwash! ...Genkan tried ta just freeze 'em, but the chunks that flashed into being around the fairies vanished in the next instant.

"...That's, if nothing else, annoying." Genkan looks slightly bitter…!

Beaming, Komi saunters forward! "You've described yourself perfectly. Once you're gone, we'll finally have him where we want him."

"You speak a lot, for a fairy." Genkan marches closer…!

As Genkan gets closer, Komi reels her arm back-

THUMP- WOOSH! Dropping onto her thigh, Genkan thrusts forward with sudden velocity, both her legs hookin' under Komi's. Like- the back of her forelegs met the back a' Komi's ankles-

"Wh-" Eyes wide, Komi starts ta fall to one side-

WHACK! Balling up on her side, Genkan sprung all her limbs out, snapping into a backwards cartwheel, the heel of her right sandal meeting Komi's chin. "Hk-" The impact pulled Komi into the cartwheel-

WHAKRACK- WHACK! Mid-cartwheel, Genkan's other sandal slid up into Komi's ribs, and her left arm rammed up into Komi's ass, sendin' her flipping backwards. "Hh-"

My instinct ta annihilate this fairy kicking in, I just gun it up aside Genkan, Lion's Lindwurm drawn-

Woosh- WHUNK! Swingin' it on in like a bat just after Genkan got back into standing, I connect it wit' the small of Komi's back-

WOOSH! Komi ascended as she flailed around, the wind off my hanger's impact carrying her up the stairs! "Aa-..."

"Fira!" Maria aimed her ice staff forward-

Fwoom- FWOOM! The fireball roared on ahead, and hit Komi somewhere in her side-

KRI~NG! Genkan summons an ice blade out from the stairs beneath Komi once the fireball hits her-

Clack! Leapin' back, Genkan- woah! She grabs onto my bag, an' digs into it…!

She pulls out that Viking Monolith summoning stone…! "Let's-"

Pi~chun- KABOOM! Oh. Komi exploded in mid-air, becoming a plume of embers and fire, which went out a moment later. Her grenade she had musta exploded…!

...Behind us, Ha-chan claps her hands! "You did it! I was scared, for a moment!"

Koi has a really cheery expression. "I think I give up!"

...Maria has an amused yet puzzled look! "Why would you be scared?"

Ha-chan shook her head. "Komi-chan has a way of getting what she wants… and- I didn't want her to ruin anything cool…"

"Unfortunately for her, she was born a fairy." Genkan shook her head too! "After everything we've went through, I'm not in the mood to let Brad be harassed needlessly."

...Looking at Koi, Genkan holds the Viking Monolith stone out at her…! "How about you?"

Koi holds her arms up! "I- I might be horny, but I'm not suicidal!"

"What about the bombs?" Maria wondered. "You even blew up a whole crate of them…"

"...I me- mean, Chief told us ta put 'em up." Koi may or may not have told the truth? "Ta protect the trees, see?"

"I don't believe you." Genkan advanced closer…! "I'll have to destroy you."

"Wh- what…" Koi looked incredulous! "But- why!?"

"I won't be having you fairies ruin our stay." Genkan decided! "So I'll make an example of you two."

"That won't be necessary."

Sakuya was there, standing before us. Aw, yo.

"...Believe it or not, these fairies tell the truth." Sakuya used her head to gesture back to them. "I apologize if they caused you unneeded duress."

"...I still wish to smite them." Genkan outright wants ta smite a girl! "They want to bother my boyfriend. Therefore, I want to bother them."

Sakuya blinked. It seems like she was disarmed, by something! "Your... boyfriend. You couldn't mean…?"

...Driftin' back, Genkan made for me! Aw- oh! She wrapped her left arm around me, this time! Man, she looks so good in that sweater… and in general. "He. Him. This. It." Wahaha!

Sakuya's brows raise in legitimate surprise!

...Somewhat hesitantly, Genkan does something daring! "Mm- mmm." She gives me a peck on the cheek! "Mwah." Then, she anxiously stares back at Sakuya, her cheeks a little redder.

Sakuya really just has no words, dude. She lets her mouth hang open, even!

"I-..." Man, she's stumped! "How?"

"He's smart, and kind." Genkan…! "I-... I love him." Aa-...!

Sakuya looks absolutely freakin' brainblasted dude. Ho- hohoho! Aw…

"He-... he is?" Sakuya does not believe a word she's sayin'! "Are you sure?"

"...Hard to believe, I know." Genkan like, shifts behind me, and hugs onto me from behind. "You needn't take my word for it."

Sakuya's going through so many emotions right now, dude. I think we unlocked some kinda achievement…! We broke her poker face super hard, dude!

"...I-... forgive me for saying this, but I'm suspicious, skeptical and unbelieving, all at the same time." Sakuya shook her head! "Has he made you drink anything peculiar? Performed any magic or hypnotism?"

"Haha." Genkan laughs in monotone! "You say that as if he were remotely capable of alchemy, spellbinding, or… or whatever hypnotism would fall under."

"It's… to be frank, it's more believable than him outright charming a yuki-onna." Sakuya decided! "I refuse to believe he has the luck, character or charisma."

Genkan squeezes me tighter, and nuzzles her right cheek into my fwoofy hair. "This must look quite surreal, then."

"In-... indeed." Sakuya blinked a whole bunch! "How about his hygiene?"

"Could use improvement." Genkan tells the truth…! "At this point, it goes for us all, however. Next time we bathe, I ought to get in with him." Wh- aa-

"This must be a terrible dream." Sakuya concluded in jest…! "I seem to recall you travelling with him before. Was it love then?"

"In its natal stage, maybe." Genkan retorts! "Now, I won't hide anything anymore. No matter how strange it feels among others."

Sakuya snorts. "Strange indeed…" Then, she tilts her head back. "Actually, considering him, and how outlandish this all is, it falls within the scope of luck easily."

...When I look back at Koi, she's suddenly standin' between Genkan and Maria!

"Wh- what's with the bombs, though…?" Maria is still confused! Then, she looks over at Koi. "Um…"

"The fairies will stop ripping the bulbs off the trees if the bulbs blow them up." Sakuya stated plainly. Freakin'...! "It may be quite a 'scorched earth' tactic when it comes to tree decoration, but it worked well enough the past few years. They're only enough to launch fairies. I had Koi and her friends do it, because Koi is bomb-elemental. Even if she screws up, she'd be able to keep going."

Koi saluted next ta us. "It's- an honor, Chiefy!"

"Yet, you still lost a whole crate of them." Sakuya shook her head. "How disappointing."

"Wh- well…!" Koi became stressed out! "...Whoops!" Whoops, huh…!?

...Genkan looks over at Koi, her eyes narrowing.

Koi smiles back up at her. "...Room fer one mo~re?"

"I don't know what you mean, but the answer is still no." Genkan raises the summoning stone overhead. "Leave us alone, before I bludgeon you with this rock." Wahaha!

"You'd hit a cute little thing like me?" Koi leaned forward, as if trying to show off her big chest to Genkan. I dunno if Genkan can even see it, since Koi's marginally shorter than most of us…!

"Yes." Genkan slowly glides closer… "You aren't cute. You're a deceiver."

"A- a deceiver…?" Koi begins to back away. "Put down that big damn rock…!"

woosh. Suddenly, Sanae ran into the room!

"...I'm back at the beginning!" She seemed surprised! "Dang it!"

Slowly, Sakuya panned her gaze over to her. "...What are you doing here, at this time of year?"

Comin' up to us, she minded the big scorch mark on the floor from where the crate of bombs went off, and got closer ta Sakuya. "I came here with those guys, to visit!"

"...This just gets more confusing the more I learn." Sakuya shook her head! "I don't suppose your miracles have anything to do with those two?" She pointed at me and Genkan…!

Sanae looked over at us, and snorted. "Oo- oh, I dunno 'bout that. They were really close when they came ta my shrine. We put the ice lady in a cow bikini that made her boobs bigger, and she and him got really embarrassed!"

...Sakuya nods at that, takes a glance at Genkan's boobs, then turns ta Sanae. "But why?" Sakuya actually had to resist smiling! "Wh- why would you do that?"

...Sanae found a wicked smile! "Genkan. We gotta put your boob bikini on Sakuya!"

"I'll hurt all of you." Sakuya threatened everybody…!

At first, Genkan didn't know what ta think! But then she was like… "It would be nice, to get revenge on the world for that."

"A- a what bikini?" Koi gets closer to Genkan! "I need that!"

"No, you don't." Maria remarks from the side…!

"You're here to see Flandre too, yes?" Sakuya tried to change the subject! She was speakin' ta Sanae, if it weren't obvious…

"Ye." Sanae nodded twice. "Do you like, have maps of the halls, or navigation charms, or something? I feel like I remember something like that..."

Suddenly, Sakuya was slightly displaced from where she used ta be, trottin' up to Sanae. "Ah, yes. Here." She hands over a black, cast-iron pentagram necklace ta Sanae. "This necklace is imbued with some of the mistress's magic. It should let you find where you want to go." Why the hell'd I never get one a' these…!?

fwish, fwi- fwish, fwish. Sanae cycled her magic through it, lighting up different orbs of light on the tips of the black pentagram. "Ooh! Those lights…!"

"They point you to some key destinations." Sakuya revealed. "You should probably be able to guess what color corresponds where. But, for clarity's sake, the gate is green, and Flandre is yellow. Don't bother following the blue light."

"Cool…" Wit' that, Sanae began walkin' off. "It's almost Christma~s!"

...After we watch 'er leave, we turn back ta Sakuya-

Koi is hovering in Genkan's face! "We should press our boobs together!"

Slowly, Genkan lifts the rock again…! "I- I'm going to press this rock into your head."

"I take it you're all here for the Christmas festivities, then?" Sakuya addresses us for real, now!

"I forgot Christmas was a thing!" I say the first thing in like, ten minutes! "But I'm glad there's a place that celebrates it!" It's got that good mood, dude.

"We came to relax." Genkan tells 'er, slowly lowering the great rock of bludgeoning. "Something stressful happened recently. So, we just wanted to go somewhere quiet…"

Sakuya had a dry look. "So, you came here before the Christmas rush, on a near whim. That's an almost impressive job of achieving the exact opposite of what you wanted."

...Genkan gives me a dry look of her own! "Well, it wasn't exactly my idea. It still perplexes me, considering who decided upon it."

"You'd be surprised, yo!" There's probably some good places to chill out, once you're past the fairy defensive barrier! That, and, I might be kinda interested in inquiring about some actual things while I'm here. Shockin', I know!

"...Seeing you two speak to one another is an endless mystery." Sakuya is put off by our visual! "Something stressful? I don't suppose it had anything to do with him?"

Genkan snorted. "You might think so, but as it turns out… hmm. I suppose it involves him, but it's not his fault."

"That makes me wonder what actually happened." Sakuya leaned to the side, lookin' idle…

Koi snaps her fingers! "Ya refused to have sex wit' 'em! Or- he refused ta have sex with you!"

"You're demented." Genkan gives her the most drained look…! "To put it shortly, someone attempted to kill us all. She had fatally wounded Sanae and myself. I don't exactly know how Brad stopped her in the moment, but…"

Sakuya raised a brow. "Fatally wounded Sanae? That's not an easy feat. That, or Sanae really needs to stop getting herself into dire straits. Who was this?"

"...Someone Brad had called Merry." Genkan remembered, dude. "After that, he became so angry that he exhausted himself. Such is why we're… 'taking it easy', so to speak." Aw, yes dude.

Aw. I looked to our right, an' I see Maria and Namori staring each other down. I half-forgot Namori was here…!

They're both casual and fluffy. At first, they awkwardly kept shifting their gazes away when they made eye-contact, before settling on a staring contest…

"Him? Angry?" Sakuya just keeps gettin' surprised today! Although, nothin's gonna top the big first surprise. Everything else is milder by comparison. "I didn't know he had emotions, outside of his blind, fairy-like energy."

"...You'd be very surprised." Genkan gave me a fairer look… "Let's not speak too much more about it, for now. I'm… not sure if it'd be a good thing or a bad thing, to think back on it."

I dunno. I'm fine talkin' 'bout it, but… the way this conversation's been goin', I don't think anyone else wants to!

"I suppose I'll leave you four alone, then." Sakuya moved ta mosey off, towards the left hall. "Unless you have some request…"

"Yeah." I nod gingerly. "...Does the mansion have a cement factory?"

...Sakuya gives me a strange look! "No. No, I don't think so." An' then she was gone!

I look at Genkan. She's got her brows raised, dude. "I was hoping you'd ask where the common guest rooms were." Then, she restrains a grin! "But, asking about the hypothetical cement factory is fine too, I guess."

"Aw, yes dude." I nod gladly, dude.

...We both nod together, until she asks: "What's cement."

Koi snorts! "Y'don't know what cement is!?" You do…!?

"It's a really hard rock substance that begins as a liquid." Now that I really think 'bout it, cement is kinda weird. "I dunno if they just add water to some powder or what, but when it hardens, it's freakin' solid. Like concrete, or mountain rock." Wait, does cement just become concrete? I never had ta think about masonry before!

"...I see how that could be mass produced." Genkan has learned of the wonders of modern masonry! "Does the outside have precise molds for it, then? If so-... hmm. I'm not sure if that's very cost efficient, or the very opposite…"

"I think it's usually used for like, bricks and paths an' shit." I dunno how they actually use cement, but there's probably use it in a buncha different ways! "Sidewalks, pro'lly."

"What the hell're you people doing." Koi looks offended…! "Dude, she's got an amazing rack like mine, and yer just talking about cement."

Slouchin' a little, Genkan gave her a grimace…! "There's more to life than sex, little fairy."

"Like cement." Koi staggers backward, beaming! "Yeah, okay, honey..."

"Precisely." Genkan begins to raise the rock of doom again, with both arms! "Allow me to demonstrate…"

Maria moves forward, ahead a' us! "Um. The last time we were here, we didn't stick around too long. And, the first time we were here, we couldn't stay too long 'cause it went crazy." Aw, yeah. Maria's first time here was when the fairies were exploding over that seasons thing. When'd that get sorted? Gensokyo has randomly generated environmental hazards…!

...Genkan pauses, amidst raising her big rock. "Brad, don't attempt to drown yourself in a randomly placed fountain, this time." Help. "I know it might be fun, but I will let you do anything except for that. We almost got assassinated by a chest the last time we did that." Y'know, she's right!

Then, she awkwardly looks back at her rock, then at me, as she lowers it. "I'll let you lead, Brad." Aw.

Fwash. Oh. Koi just randomly froze solid, for seemingly no reason!

"Ahah." Genkan nodded! "So, this resist ice thing does wear off."

She looked for Namori, but she was gone. Goodbye, meek fairy!

Let's do something I don't think I've done before, dude.

"We're gonna pick a hall, yo." I point down the right hall! "...An' we're gonna walk."

Genkan blinked! "...Walk."

"Ye." Yes, dude. "Until we find somethin' interesting, or we don't!" Or, in the unlikely event that the hall just stops.

...Genkan an' Maria give me a woesome look, before beginning to move down the hall ahead of me!

I turn ta Ha-chan, and I see she's found a freakin' big candy cane from somewhere. She can't eat it, 'cause it's too big, but she has it, dude.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"With any luck," Genkan drifted along near me, as we ventured down the longest of hallways, dude. "We may find the baths yet." She looked down at her sweater. "I wonder if this mansion has clothiers. My kimono undoubtedly needs patching up. This sweater has seen surprising tear, from that last battle…"

I'm willing ta bet Sakuya does all the knitting. Y'see how good she is with knives? Needles ain't that far off…!

I look down at Genkan's tight red sweater. Ignoring her good boobs, some of the cloth is torn around her stomach, from where Merry's signs impaled her. Her cow skirt seems fine, though!

Maria's clothes are comparatively fine, 'cause she often just gets launched or doesn't see combat in the first place. But, there are some rips and scratches...

"I wonder what kinda food they make, here." Maria suddenly announces! "You know what we should do? If we find the cafeteria, we should get some snacks…"

"Oh, darn." Genkan became surprised. "I'd forgotten. Breakfast is important to you humans, yes? Um." She looked at me! "...You should probably eat your nutrient tablet, at the very least."

"Oh, yeah." I forgot that existed! Lemme just quickly…

Somehow, we've been going for like, thirty minutes, and the halls have been entirely decorated this entire way. This is a lot of paper and pine…

Then, ahead of us, there's some weird tile pattern to the flooring. The heck. It's like, scarlet and white. Of course there's gotta be red in there somewhere.

Awh, there we go. I ate my Flintstones vitamin, dude.

As we near this hall, I begin to recognize the sudden shift in architecture. "What tha' fuck."

Genkan snorts! "...Yes?"

We step onto the white-scarlet tile, and I take in the sterile, pinkish plaster walls here. The ceiling is done with cheap, speckled tiles that of course are also pinkish. S'gotta be some relative of red…!

A little further ahead, the right wall goes away, and is instead a half-person height guard rail made of cast iron and glass.

We're in some mall-looking area of the mansion. It's somehow really empty, only a few fairies moving around on the pink-tan mall floor two-three stories below us. I- dunno how the hell the mansion even goes that deep.

Actually, some of these ain't even fairies. A kappa clad in blue an' green walks up an inactive escalator- and boy is that a freakin' weird lookin' escalator…

It's like a proto-escalator. Each panel is made of wood, and there's very visible metal clamps on each of them. It doesn't look entirely safe, to be honest…!

This kappa girl has like, neon yellow hair, and emits a really weird perfumey scent as she comes up ta us, only about as tall as Maria. "Hey."

"...Hi." Genkan greets her gingerly.

"This area isn't ready yet." The kappa girl shook her head. "...But, if you keep going forward, you'll be somewhere else."

"What's this place, yo…?" It's a freakin' weird inner-mansion biome, to be sure!

"It's the Scarlatte Cafe." The kappa nodded. "...Name pending approval. The fairies say it was an idea that came from some visitor from another dimension, but… you know them."

...That means Brittany's screwing with the timelines, dude. She's- or, he's- brought modern malls to Gensokyo!

With that, the fluffy kappa girl romps off, 'cause we weren't saying anything back to her. Bye, random kappa!

"A cafe…?" Maria stood up against the cast iron an' glass rail, looking down at the whole mall area…

...Aw- du~de! They got plants hanging off of higher up places! On plant hangers! I highly doubt they'd be of any use ta me at this point, but…!

I wonder. What if we went down the halls as fast as freakin' possible? How many other random different 'biomes' exist here…?

There's some kind of really quiet, pixelated midi tune playing over the mall speakers. Yes, this mansion wing's even got the speakers!

"Aw." When we're quiet enough for me to hear the music, I wag a finger in the air! "It's the theme that plays when ya eat too many Flintstones vitamins and go blind!" It's time ta stroll wit' style, son.

...Genkan gives me a small look! "Why are you like this?" Wahaha!

"Maybe we should go…" Maria takes that as a sign of worse things to come! "I don't wanna find out what a Flintstone is."

Genkan starts ta drift ahead! "Agreed."

Aw. "Yo- Genkan, if ya carry me and Maria, we'll get ta the next biome faster!"

...She gave me a mixed look! "Biomes? Is that what we're calling these sections, now?"

I look back at Ha-chan. She's gazing down over the cast iron rail, eyes open wide! Then, she looks back at me. "We should race!" Aw!

"You heard her, Genkan!" Diggin' into my hack sack, I pull out freakin'... One Million Revenants. This is the hanger with the speed boost on self-harmful tendencies, if I 'member right.

"Here!" I hand it ta her! "It's the one that makes ya faster the more hurt ya are."

...She rotates the metal thing around as if figuring out where ta hold it. "I'm- not sure if I'd like to hurt myself just to win a race."

"Quick, Maria!" I turn ta Maria! "Slap Genkan on the ass!"

"Wh-" Genkan's suddenly alarmed! Then, she turns ta Maria…

Maria was now way closer than she was a moment ago! "...Hi."

"Don't you dare." Genkan keeps a careful eye on her, dude. "...I'm pretty sure I remember it being physical harm that powers that enchantment, not emotional harm."

Aw, man. If it was emotional harm, I woulda been a speed demon a couple hours ago!

Wh- oh. Genkan moves ta scoop me up with her left arm, before pausing. "Actually… we should think this out."

"We gotta make a car." I propose, dude. "There's an enemy recon in the forest!"

"A what?" Genkan quickly realizes those two thoughts don't connect…! Wait- does she know what a car is? "I'm considering piggyback, instead. You on my back, and Maria on yours." Bold of you to assume I'd be any good while getting scrunched…!

"Brad's crotch would be against the back of your head." Maria brings up, for some reason!

"Maria ruined it." Genkan no longer wants to piggyback…! "Or rather, now that I think about it, it wasn't a great idea to begin with…"

Ha-chan actually just shakes her head next ta us. "You guys are bad at this…!"

Actually, wait.

"...So." I got an idea. "Maria goes on Genkan's back, I go in Genkan's arms bridal style, an' I dunno if I can use my jumps while being carried, but if we go forward, maybe I can leap horizontally to boost us…!" Ho~h!

...Maria contributes her idea. "Brad should carry Genkan bridal style."

"I think we're going with Brad's idea." Genkan grinned at her…!

Oohp- aw. Genkan scoops me right up, and-... I end up staring at her chest, 'cause holy shit. I'm still in like, my Toyota Honda outfit, so-... hopefully my purple skirt doesn't flare up too much!

Getting lifted by someone is still such a strange experience. Just- suddenly whisked off my feet by her…! Her face is like, right there and everything...

"Nn-..." Maria awkwardly clambers onto Genkan's back when she lurches over fer her.

Genkan looks encumbered, as Maria slinks onta her like a monkey! "Aa- ow. Ow. You're- pulling my hair-..."

"Sor- sorry." Maria awkwardly gets up onta her shoulders, and- uh, I don't think I quite thought this through…!

Her legs hang offa' Genkan's shoulders, and like, onto me. Her freakin' boots are in my face…!

"Brad, you hold onto her legs." Genkan gives me a totally safe idea. "...Maria, you hold, um, this hanger thing."

"Gods…" Maria looks intimidated! "Y- you know, this doesn't feel really safe…!"

"That's 'cause it ain't!" I grin up at 'er! Dah…

Alright. My legs are locked around Maria's left leg, and my arms got a hold on her right leg, while Genkan's arms hold onto me.

We are now a walking boss fight, son. We have combined and become the ultimate life form.

"We must improve on this." We're not letting this end here…! "Lemme get out more hangers…!"

"Brad…" Genkan's beginning to look intimidated! "Think about this carefully, now."

cla- clack, clack. I got Frost Broker out in my lap, and the Bawmber, and the Red Scare…!

"Brad…!" Genkan looks intimidated at the weapons! "...Alright. Where would these even go?"

"Yer gonna freeze Frost Broker an' Bawmber to yer sandals!" I start to beam, son…! "An' yer gonna freeze Red Scare between one a' yer armpits!" This is a bad idea!

Aw, wait. I also take out that sparkly pink hanger we got from Eientei. "I dunno what this'll do, but put it in yer other armpit!"

...Ha-chan's just starin' at us with a slightly worried kinda look!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Maria now has a football helmet made outta ice on! "This-... still doesn't feel really safe…!"

I got my racecar helmet on for an actual reason now! Genkan's also got an ice helmet on…!

vrrrr. A low rumble comes from near us. I have turned my yuki-onna into a jet engine, son.

...Gradually, Genkan gazes down at me, and finds some words. "If we get hurt, this is entirely your fault." Wahaha!

"Don't fear." I advise her. "Ya got jet boots now."

"...I don't see how jet boots are supposed to make a difference." Genkan contests! "In the safety department, that is."

"It doesn't!" I think we might be all ready to go, now!

Vrum, vruu~m. Genkan revs her plant hanger shoes up. The device has been created…!

Frost Broker on her right sandal should feed ice back inta her body, giving her more mana and energy ta work with, especially wit' the random freeze procs. The bomb shoes on the left, hoh hoh hoh…!

The actual speed boost ta her floating is from the fire hanger on the back a' her right arm. The sparkly hanger is just to make more visual clutter!

An' then we got Maria with One Million Revenants. I dunno what the point a' arming her was, she'll get ta play croquet 'er some shit while we're accelerating…!

I look back at Ha-chan. "Are ya ready ta race, yo…!?"

...Ha-chan looks intimidated! "I-... I guess!"

"Alright, yo!" Aww~...!

"On-..." Maria steeled herself, dude. "On the count of three…"

She inhales. "One…"

Vruu~m! Genkan revved the hangers up loudly! Sparks and flames began to billow out behind herself…!

"Two…!" Maria compacts!

Ha-chan hovers into the air, her wings fluttering rapidly! "Nnn…"

"Three!" Maria yells!

Genkan immediately stomps the Bawmber against the ground.

KABOO~M! Hohoho~ly shit! A massive explosion went off under us-

"Woa~h!" Maria yells and leans back, and my limbs tense tryina' hold onto her legs-

We ascend to the top mall tiles above us- why are we upside down what the fuck-

Scree~ch! Genkan slides on her butt on the ceiling, before snapping off of it and into floating-

KABOO~M! She clips her bomb foot against the ceiling again, and we're bounced back towards the floor, spiralling through the air- wait yeah right she's tilting us on our side, this's what we planned, sort of…!

I jump while in her arms- holy shit this feels unsafe…!

"Wh- ah- ah- ah!" Maria jitters, forced to 'jump' along with me in Genkan's arms as we shoot down the hall like a missile!

WOO~SH! Holy fuckin' shit, du~de- we're going so fast the wind resistance is makin' my eyes water now…! I shoulda put my helmet's visor down!

"Whoa-" Genkan tries to talk, but everything's so loud she can only yell with us! "Whoaa~h!"

She tries ta plant a heel in the floor to regain control-

KABOOM- BOOM- BOOM! Instead we like pogo-bounce on explosions, because she chose the wrong leg. "Wh- ah-" Oh shit- she's losin' control!

...But, then she just starts ta float a bit, regaining control. We've blown past like, five different big open mall areas-

Suddenly, I dunno when it happened, but we transitioned into somewhere else entirely. The architecture around us all changed drastically. No longer were there dingy mall lights above us- we're somewhere with black and brown-... I dunno how to even describe this-

WOO~SH! Ooh- we passed by a buncha portraits of the people who live here!

But basically- the floor is all black stone, with brown… like, big square brown marble tiles goin' down the middle in segments. What the hell's this place…?

woo- woosh! We wobble around 'cause Maria swung the big gold hanger around for no reason! "Wh- aah…!"

Screech- SKREEK! Genkan's ice hanger boot scrapes against the stone floor, drawing a long- an' probably hard to repair- line in the masonry…!

Then, the hallway we're goin' down actually enters a like, really big room.

Woosh! Genkan just floats up and into the airspace…! Hol' on now- what happened ta the race…!?

Thankfully, this room's big. Uuh… it takes a few revolutions, but eventually I get a bearing on what the fuck we're inside of.

It's some kinda huge cathedral. The ceiling goes five stories up, and ends in a round cone top sorta thing. Big, pointy architecture stretches up the cylindrical sides of the huge… room? Spire? I'm goin' with room…!

Below us, there's rows of bench seating- think they're called pews- and a huge altar, leading up to an upside-down cross. Behind it, there's a big gold organ.

This room's way colder than the front of the mansion, and the air up here smells like winter. Empty an' cold…!

WHISH, WOOSH. Genkan freakin'- swerves about, all willy-nilly... y'know, if we hit those walls, we're just gonna explode into a rain of ice crystals and plant hangers! Easy wit' the turns…! I'm thinkin' this 'cause she just did a huge circle around the entire room, and we came freakin' this close to kissin' the gothic architecture up close…!

"...Wh- where-... are we~!?" Maria yells her lungs out! Even though we're kinda slowing down from all the turning…

High. Up…! Big height! We're really high up!

We gradually slow to a like, helicopter-tier hover, panning around the room as we do so...

"It's-..." Genkan can actually speak, as we hover idly in a circle over everything! Man- this feels surreal. We're literally just freakin', orbiting nothing…! "It's a church. I think…"

"A ch- church…?" Maria speaks unsurely, kinda shaking where she sat! "Wh- why? ...Ge- Gensokyo has those?" Right…!? "And- where'd you learn about them?"

"Hu- huh?" Genkan's still not thinking straight, trying to survive in the air! "I-... read about them." Aw. "And, I've heard of their architecture… but, only in spoken stories and times-retold recountings. But..."

Yeah, s'kinda hard to mistake victorian church innit.

whi~sh. Some kinda wind blows on through here. Where's it coming from? Up? It's- kinda cold, 'cause I don't got my camouflage on!

Vuum. Suddenly, noise comes from the organ below. Aw, someone's gonna serenade us, dude.

"...Hmm." When they don't play further, Genkan snorts. "One note. I wonder what happened." She looks down, but... ah. I look down, too, an' there ain't anyone there.

Hoh. Lookin' up the wall and ahead again- wait.

There's somethin' flying to our right. I look backwards at it.

It looks like a fairy, but it has huge angel wings wit' black and white feathers!

"Uu- um!" Maria notices it too! "Genkan…!"

Genkan snaps her gaze to it, too. "...O- oh?"

Oh. It has no face. A smooth, black enclave that looks like cast-iron is where she'd have a face, beginning from her forehead and reaching down to her chin.

woosh. It floats up ahead of us without exchangin' any words, rotating around to face us.

"What...?" Maria is confused by whatever the hell it is…!

It's got some angelic robes on, but they're adorned wit' black crystals that pulse with some kinda energy…

"you disturb this place" Wh- where the fuck's that voice coming from. "we shall fly together"

Vrr- SHII~NG. Six pentagrams of light begin to glow around it. Wh- what the fuck…! "Genkan- evasive- ooh!"

WOOSH! Genkan immediately pivots ninety degrees, an' takes off!

"Wh- aah!" Maria yells, 'cause we went upside-down. Dunno why! "Ghen- kha- eee!"

WOO- WOOSH! We spin around like a fuckin' bullet as we go up-

SHI- SHI- SHI- SHI- SHING! Hexuple, piercing straight beams of light flare up behind us, aimed for where Genkan used ta be. Um…!

"Maria!" Genkan yells! "Shoot fire at it!" Aw, yes!

"Fira!" When we're upright in the air over it, she does so by swingin' the big hanger she's got!

Fwoom! The homing, red-yellow ball of flame arcs down, and the-... fairy I think doesn't make any attempt at dodging.

Fwabam! The fireball explodes into energy against it, and flames lick up its gown and feathers!

"When we pass it- ya should try and croquet it!" I propose…!

"...Huh?" Genkan was the one who was confused, an' Maria didn't even think what I said was directed at her!

Uh. I glanced down, and I notice the upside-down cross is floating into the air and glowing. Where the hell are we…!?

fwish- VHISH- VHISH. The 'fairy' extends its whole body, a myriad of white lasers extending out from itself in a huge, random spread. Uh…!

They're all really thin, and Genkan jerks us down beneath one as it travels up an' past us. Disco lasers…!

"Fira!" Maria jabs One Million Revenants out, an' fire comes from the tip!

Fwaboom! It falls down and explodes on the thing's face again. It's just on fire now, and its body is convulsing in… pain?

The starburst of disco lasers just abruptly goes out. Ho~h...

"Maria!" Genkan yells out! "Hit it, when we pass by!" Aw, they thought of my idea anyway...

"Ye- yeah!" Nodding, Maria reels the big hanger back-

Vrum- Vrum! Genkan revs up the flame hanger on 'er left heel, and-

WOOSH! We plummet down at the thing at freakin' light speed-

"Thundara~!" Maria barks out her spell as she swings- and wait that hanger has thunder shit on it too-

CLANK- KRAK! Everything like, stops for a moment, as Maria's hanger makes contact with the thing's already sunken-in face. A metallic sound emanates from the thing's cast-iron bowl facial structure.

KRAKABOO~M! Holy fuck- that was like actually thunder! It nearly blinded me…!

THWAZAP- THWASH- ZAP! Bolts rain down on the floating cross, joltin' it, and also the 'fairy'...

"Engh…" Aw- it actually like, grunted!

Then, it floated up ta the cross, and held its hands out before it. That thing is- emanating some energy. "ease life's worry"

woash- frar. The cross begins to glow like, platinum purple. Then-

FWOAA~SH! A pillar of the same light just nearly blindsides us-

FWOAA~SH! Wh- oh shit- one did blindside us- but we weren't launched or hurt or-

"Gh-" Wh- "Bwuagh- aah!" I- I threw up- what-

"Kh- uuah!" Maria also threw up- what the fuck-

"Um…!?" Genkan seems fine, though. "What…!? Oh- gods-"

Ugh- I'm wearing a helmet too! This sucks, holy shit! My throat burns! Everything's gone wrong- holy shit...! There's barf in my face aa~gh!

Putting One Million Revenants into her high-tech backpack, Maria drew her time staff instead. "Kh- kaugh- st- stop!"

KA- KA- KLINK! Maria time-stopped the big fuck-off cross.

woosh. The angel fairy actually just falls out of the sky and stops glowin' like, instantly.

My stomach's doing fuckin' flips dude, holy shit. What the hell is this…

...THUD! The angel thing hit the ground below, really loudly. "Hh- nh- aa- aa…" Oh? Oh.

Some kind of golden liquid spreads out from where it hit the floor, glowing cyan and white and gold. It's solid vibrance, and looks… like, really brilliant, actually.

"God…" Oh, we hear its voice! "I've betrayed you, and failed my duty. Let my soul burn in Hell." Whah.

"Kh- kauhf-" I- I almost threw up again. Why do I feel so shit, all a' sudden…? Wait- I have a hanger that purifies, lemme just-

"Aa- are you okay?" Genkan looks down at me, all worried! "Brad?"

"Ho- hold-" I gotta unequip this helmet and get it cleaned too- also, queasiness…!

Fwi- Click! I magic-off my vomit-filled helmet and wield Fragile Flower. Aw…

"Cl- cleanse…" I cast it on myself-

Swi- swi- swish! Oh my god, holy shit. Dude- yes…! White swooshes run up my body, dude!

Black energy swooces right outta me, drifting into the air like a fog. Hoh…

"Cleanse!" Let's make Maria not sad!

Swi- swi- swish! The swooshes run up her body too, and the stinky darkness leaves. As she takes off her ice helmet, I notice the vomit's frozen on the edge of it…! "Ha- aah…" She takes a deep breath, too!

...Genkan looks vaguely satisfied! "I-... did not know you carried something actually useful." Wahaha! "I-... Ma- Maria, you got vomit on my head…" Uh oh.

"Oo-..." Maria grins kinda, but also looks sheepish! "Sorry…!"

I made sure ta vomit off the side of Genkan's arms, into the void! Oh, man, Sakuya's gonna be mystified later-

Vmmm. Oh, the cross is unstopped, and is still hovering in the air.

Genkan reaches into my bag again- holding my legs up wit' telekinesis I guess- and takes out the Viking Monolith summoning rock again…! "Br- Brad-... we should probably just-..."

"Y'know what, sure…!" If we don't decide to use it now, we're probably not gonna find an excuse to use it ever!

FWOAA~SH! Oh- another magic platinum light pillar erupts next to us- and we're all really spooked…!

"Oh- oh no!" Maria reached down, for the stone Genkan took out, an' I put my hand on it too.

We all focus our freakin' terrified magic energy into it-

FWOAA~SH! Despite our awkward, slow mid-air movements, one of the dark pillars barely clips us, I think. I mean, I'm not barfin'-

"Mgh-" Uh oh- Genkan- "Mua~h!" Wh- woa~h!? Oh god- that's-... somehow hot and cold at the same time! Genkan upchucked…!

"Cl- Cleanse!" I- poke the hanger on my lap too, while we try to charge the summon stone- dude she got it on the stone, uh oh-

Swi- swi- swish! She blinks rapidly, as the dark energy stops making her queasy-

Vuu~m. The stone we're chargin' together lights up, with airy blue energy.

Kr- Kroo~m- Crack- CRACK! On the ground below, wood benches erupt from their spots within the cathedral. The badass monument to Viking culture emerges from the earth…!

It's grey, and six feet tall, and way below us- I really hope it can like, aim up.

Vhir. A magic circle of swords and blades formed, revolving around its center face, as it glowed with icy power.

Cli- cli- click! Ooh. Three swords of light form in the air around it-

Woosh! Ooh! Suddenly- Genkan moves really fast! "Oo- oh…?" Did it cast magic on us?

Then- the monolith attacks!

VRRRR- FWOAA~SH! Blinding, blue light explodes from it like a starburst, a spark of pure frost spiking straight up at the floating, upside-down evil cross of evil evil.

SLAP- KATHUNK! The cross goes fuckin' flying- dude, it's like the ice magic just slapped against its metal! Whatever it's made out of…!

fli- fli- flick. A pillar of light flickers around the cross, and suddenly, the whole room like-... the lighting of the room flickers too, somehow- oh, it's getting darker. Wait…

The cross is eating the light of the room. What the fuck. Holy shit…!

VRRR- FWOAA~SH! From its center, a platinum-colored, blinding beam rockets down towards the viking-themed monolith. Dude- it's a monolith battle!

CRACK- KRIK- CRACK- CRUNCH! ...As the big, holy beam fades out, the viking monolith is only slightly tilted backwards…!

VRRR- FWOAA~SH! Holy shit, the viking monolith shot back. They're just- gonna keep sparking each other, huh.

SLAP- KRICK- KATHUNK! The giant fuckin' cross- it's like fifteen feet tall- just jerks back again, parts of it now laden with ice crystals- wait…

"Maria-" I got an idea! "Use Fira!"

"Uu- okay!" She nods! "Fira!"

Fwoom! She sends the fireball rollin' across the huge airspace, towards the giant mean evil cross…!

Bam- It hits the side of it-

KRACK. My-... my ears. Holy shit.

The cross split in two, the fireball extinguished instantly by the mere, eruptive force that was this giant unholy steel block splitting apart.

"aaa- aaww!" ...Wh- what was that. That was like- a really disappointed fanfare, that came from nowhere! This is fucking weird, du~de…!

With that, the two cross halves just fall to the ground below. That's-... gonna be loud.

KRABOOM- BOOM! It was indeed loud. I cringe hard at the sound of the stone floor just gettin' freakin'... cratered. Jesus! ...Literally, this time!

...Genkan looks down at the icy-warm mixture of gross shit on my stomach. "Uu- ah… Br- Brad- I…"

"It's-..." I just- don't look at it for now! "It's good!" Aaa~h!

kr- kroom. The viking monolith we summoned just leaves. Its people need it, dude. I wonder if that spark it took actually kinda fucked it up.

...Also, if I wasn't tired before from my episode, I sure as fuckin' am now! Despite us being so high in the air- I just yawn. Jeez…

Slowly, Genkan just brings us down to the floor, at the entrance of the room.

The floor of the cathedral is riddled with blown up benches and ice crystals, now. Not to mention the big, weird cross that's lyin' in pieces now.

...Suddenly, once we're at the room's end, Ha-chan bolts up from the hallway ahead! "I think I won!" She- uh, yeah! "...Wh- what's that on you guys? You're covered in throwup!"

"I-..." Genkan looks down at me, while I'm still in her arms! "I- I don't know?" Y'know- that's actually a good answer…!

"We-..." Maria shook her head. "We went too fast." Aw. Yes, Maria…!

While that was distinctly terrifying, there was something I couldn't take seriously about a giant mean laser-spewing cross.

"...Are you guys okay?" Ha-chan wondered!

"I think-... so." Genkan decided hesitantly-

KABOOM! She- put the wrong foot down son- we blew up! "A- ow!" Genkan was actually shocked by it-

Bam! She went up, and hit Maria's back on the ceiling. "Wh- aah! Nngh-... you- scrunched me!"

"Aa- Maria-" Genkan moves down quick again-

KABOOM! Son- stop puttin yer left foot down…!

Thankfully, she doesn't nearly give Maria a concussion the second time! "I'm... so, so tired." Stabilizin' in the air, Genkan looks freakin' drained… "From... earlier today, and... all of this."

thu- thunk. She lets her boots melt off her sandals, and carefully steps down in front a' them…

"...Ergh." She looks down at the throwup on me, and looks up a little, before cringing. "We-... need to bathe. As in, now."

Idea. "...We should find a fountain."

...Genkan gives me a dubious look fer a moment, before bein' like… "That- would work. Temporarily."

She sets me down on my legs- and my muscles are somehow a little weaker than usual at first. Maybe it was that dark-holy crap…

Maria shakily gets offa' Genkan's shoulders, too. "Nn- nnh."

"Ooo." Ha-chan goes ooo. "...I know where the baths are!"

Genkan blinks. "...You do?"

"I knew where the baths were!" Ha-chan corrected! "...Chief, help!"

...We stand there, awkwardly covered in our own shitty fluids fer a few moments, when Sakuya does eventually show up!

She has a fluffle on her shoulder. "see no evil" It tries to hide her eyes with its fins, but they're way too short, so it just hugs the back of her head instead.

shoof. Then, somehow, it dies. Sakuya is now displaced like, a meter, to avoid the dust it became…

"Ah." Seeing into the room behind us, she snorted. "I see you found the cathedral."

"Why." Genkan asks plainly…!

"...You know." Sakuya just kinda skips Genkan's question! "I hadn't expected other humans to be able to recollect Christian myth."

"What…?" Genkan looks unsettled! "We're-... ugh." She feels at her own hair, where Maria- yeah. "Ew…"

After starin' at her quite plainly, Sakuya kept going! "Humans who enter this room catalyze the faith necessary for the cross to become active, even turned upside as it is now. Considering you were forced to break it, and everything."

Wait. "So-..." Man, I feel like a mess!

"The moment you saw that angel, you called enough energy of the Christian faith to energize the cross." Sakuya informed me…! "Somewhat annoying, isn't it?" Somewhat annoying…!?

"Yes." Genkan nodded hard! "Ve- very annoying."

Strolling closer, looking at the messy parts of our outfits, she raises a brow. "I do vaguely commend you for somehow shattering it, and not simply running away. If you'd left it alone, it would have become useless again."

"Why even have it?" Genkan finally has her wits about her! "It's nothing but trouble."

"Experimentation." Sakuya defended it! "Other reasons that needn't concern you. I do apologize for the trouble it caused."

She even began walkin' on ahead! "The baths, yes? Come."

Genkan isn't just satisfied with that. "What aa- about our clothes?"

"We'll make short work of mending that right up." Sakuya gives us all another nod! Hoh…! "And, cleaning. It won't be a big deal. The maid's outfits must be repaired and cleaned all the time."

Hoh. Aw. I like how suddenly accommodating Sakuya is. Maybe she's tryina' look good fer ol' Saint Nick! Or maybe she just respects the girls way more than just me…!

Then again, I've never been attacked by a giant cross before…!

As Sakuya strolls ahead, leading us, I turn ta Genkan, who's givin' me a flat look!

"...Well, Brad?" She smiles somewhat aggressively at me! "Was that the relaxation you were expecting? Haven't you been here before?" Aaa~h!

"I didn't know there was a giant spooky cross here! I'd like- never even been there before!" That was my first time in that big cathedral room! I didn't know we had a cathedral wing!

"...I suppose that's fair." Genkan agreed, dude. "You'd think there would be… you know, more moments like that. This is a vampire's domain, after all."

Sakuya briefly faces back, brows slightly furrowed…! "While you're not entirely wrong, keep in mind that this manor is by large attempting to be hospitable to guests and residents. You were all mostly unfortunate."

"Aa- ah." Genkan seemed to have the same thought I just had! "Unfortunate. I… I see." Hina did say somethin' about that. Wau.

"Not that it's any news to you, I'm sure." Sakuya roasts us, dude! "...We'll find the baths shortly."

The hall goes on even longer, but Sakuya takes a single left deeper into the church sector, an' we follow-...

Aa~nd, the church biome ends right there! Just, by pure coincidence, I'm sure. Ahead, there's a hall that only goes right. Sakuya casually leads us down to this right turn, we take it, a~nd…

There's big double doors to the left. That's the baths, innit.

"Here we are." Yep! Sakuya just- literally got us out of the biome an' to our destination in two turns, and like, twenty meters at most. I don't think that's how interior layout design's supposed to work…!

"What…?" Genkan is just as disarmed as I am! "How?"

"Don't think about it too hard." Sakuya's not gonna explain…!

...I look behind us, and the turn we took is gone. There's just open hallway, some fairies milling about down that way. What kinda freakin' map hacks does Sakuya have!?

Crea~k. Pushing open the chocolate-brown door ahead a' us, Sakuya gives us a plain look. "There's not much for changing, but there are a few lockers, benches and tables. Do with that what you will. Oh-..." Then she raised a finger, recallin' somethin'. "I almost forgot. Perhaps leave your clothing by the door altogether. Anything you'd like mended. It will be done before you leave this room." Hoh, shit.

"...Impressive." Genkan gave some big nods! "Magic?"

Sakuya snorts! "No, we just have a team of fairy seamstresses in the neighboring walls. Yes, it's magic."

Crea~k. She pushes open the second door, fer some reason. "Regardless, you're welcome." Then- she was gone.

Maria was the first to romp on in, an' then Ha-chan followed! "Bath ti~me! We all gotta scrub Brad down!" Dah- I dunno 'bout that…!

...I kinda look around, and- ooh! Genkan gets behind me, and starts goading me in! "Let's start, before we start smelling even worse." Y- y'know, s'a fair point…

So, I let her goad me, 'cause she's so snug.

The bath room is-... oh. Woah. Okay…! It's big!

It's like a huge hot spring, set in a huge square tub. The corners are rounded, even!

There are steps down into the shimmering, warm spring-like pool. Literally just-... an always-ready bath. God damn. It's a moment like this, I realize how much Remi's got it made.

The bath is a little far from the door, and between there 'n' here is a buncha… benches. Just benches! At least they ain't wood benches, though. They're like… marble, and stone. Relatively more high class…

"How will we undress?" Maria looked uncertain about all this! "Like, um-"

"Easy." Genkan smiled at her, then at me. "...I'll just take one for the team." Oo- oh?

She put her hand on my shoulders, and began walkin' backwards, pulling me along! "...Let's play a game, Brad."

Um. "...What- kinda game?"

"It… it's called the 'only st- stare at me' game." She stumbled her words a little…! "At least, until Maria gets a towel on. And-..." She looks somewhere behind me! "Hana- don't-... Maria, help Hana get a towel on." Hoh…

"Aw." I wonder.

Immediately, she brings her pale hands to the hem of her red sweater, and she strategically considered how to remove it without getting barf in her face…

She decided ta slide her arms up her sleeves, and lift it overhead instead. Aa-... oh. The moment she gets the sweater off, I get to see her pale chest on full display inside her cow bra.

"...Yes, just like that." Her face still a little red, she- dude.

Shuffling closer to me, she sways her chest back and forth. It's super obvious that it's intentional- she like gyrates her torso just to make her chest sway around, and uh- alright what'd I do right. Why's she just- wow…!

"Um!" Hormones-... accelerating!

She suddenly compacts, realizing what she just did! "...Ma- m- maybe, that was overkill." She stares down at the rest a' me. "You need to undress, now. You're not bathing in that."

Aw, yeah. Lemme just-

"You have to take it off, too." Genkan voiced…! "As in, take it off. With your hands."

Whah. Wh-... oh. I might get the barf in my bag otherwise. Y'know, good point, again…

So, I start ta take off my freakin'... Toyota outfit. It's kinda complicated- with some bands on the inside and shit, and the sandals-... part of the sandal goes up my ankle.

I try really hard to fight the inner bands, but- Miko, how do ya do this!? I've only ever teleported this thing on and off!

...I give Genkan a helpless look. Man, this bathroom's got really scenic lighting… it's all ivory, dude.

"Wow." She smirks, even! "Too complicated?"

"Yes…!" By a lot! "Help me wit' this shit…!"

She comes up to me- she still smells like perfume geez- and reaches into my shirt thing…

"Oh." She looks intimidated for a moment, before bein' like… "Hold up your arms."

Oh? So I do- and she just like, slips my arms outta the sleeves and lifts the thing off over me, ignoring all the bands entirely. It was all entirely freakin' superficial. Goddammit, yo…!

Her pulling my shirt off leaves her cleavage in my face. Her pale, deep cleavage. Holy shit.

"Want me to help with your skirt, too?" Genkan proposed- wait.

As she kinda reaches down for it- I'm just like- "I- I think… I can handle it!" Actually- no matter what, I don't think I can hide my-

"I think not." She comments bluntly- before just droppin' my skirt.

And, yeah, guess what, I'm aroused. Big surprise…! Wonder how that happened.

Genkan looks away from my underwear, up at me. Wh- why is she just- oddly awed, for some reason? S'not the first time I had a-... a boner! God- the fact she's surprised is even more fucking cute! That face...

The real question is, 'can I keep my undies', but I really don't feel like asking it!

"...Do-..." Genkan's really not sure where to go from here! "Uu- a- um." Yeah, um. That moment when you typo in speech…!

"I-... think I'll keep 'em on." For everyone's sanity…! Some lines aren't meant ta be-

Her hands meet my waist, and her thumbs slide into the bands of my underwear. Oh my god. What're you doing.

"But-... that would defeat the point, wouldn't it?" Genkan's arguing with me…!? "Of cleaning them, and wearing a towel." Meanwhile, her gaze is all around my place, centered on my-... yeah.

Mmh. Well, yeah. ...Aw. Idea. "We could work together ta keep me covered- and have me get them off at the same time!"

Snorting, Genkan shook her head. "At that point, I think you might as well just take-... take them off." She realized what she was askin' of me once she was done bein' unimpressed with my plan.

Her index finger tapped on the center of my bulge. I'm dead. God, damn. She just-... god. She's so hot.

"You guys." Maria comments from behind us…! "Aren't you like, both adults?"

"Mmh…" Genkan at first doesn't know how to retort. Then, decides to be blunt with her! "I'm faced with- with the option of watching Brad pull down his underwear, or pulling down his underwear for him. You ca- you can't see it from over there, but-"

"I- I mean, you're- like, his girlfriend…!" Maria countered! "Just-... I- I mean, I don't wanna like-..." She's getting flustered too, now! "I wanna watch, not be involved!" She's honest about it! "I mean- watch how awkward it is- not…"

"You know what…" Genkan crouches down. Um. "You're-... you're right."

Her thumbs slip further under the bands of my underwear. This does not soothe my excitement.

"Couldn't we have just given Brad a blindfold?" Ha-chan… speaks words of wisdom, dude.

Genkan snorted. "Probably. Alright, well…" She looked up at my eyes. "Perhaps we should have all decided on blindfolds, for our own nerves." S'a bit late fer that now…!

Then- suddenly, she just pulls down.

Her eyes cross for a moment, as she looks at-...

Maria opens her mouth ta say something. "Couldn't you have-... just-... oh." She's behind me, so this doesn't get more awkward than it already is!

"Couldn't I have just-..." Why's she still lookin' at it. "What was that, Maria?" She even missed what Maria said!

"You could've used telekinesis." Maria strategized afterward. "If you, um…"

"I suppose." Genkan-... uh. "Ri- right." She stops staring at my thing and stands up. I can't freakin' believe what's happening…! "I suppose-... I'll take off my skirt, next."

Ha-chan just walks around the side of us, and looks down. "...What's that? Ooo." Wh- at.

"Hana-" Genkan realizes! Then she just like… doesn't know what ta tell her!

I must comment! "I feel like multiple of us should have gotten towels by now." Ha-chan's also not wearing anything by the way.

"Hana- you-...!" Maria fluffs up! "You got rid of your towel! Why…!?"

"I didn't want it!" Ha-chan's a freakin' piece of work…!

fwump. Genkan's skirt drops, along with her… black panties? When'd she get panties, actually? If she don't usually bring a bra around, where'd that come from…!? I mean, they're pretty nice looking, but...

And-... yeah. I mean, for the record, it looks… good. Yes, it's smooth. I'm talking about Genkan's… place.

Genkan keeps looking down at me. Aw, y'know what, I bet that's like, an unprecedented issue. Girls don't have to feel bad about staring…!

"Some help those dispel-oriented garments were…" Eventually, she notices I'm staring at her staring! "We- uh- ought to get in the bath."

Wait, do those black panties do something dispel-related. That-... somehow makes sense to me, and probably no one else!

"Probably!" This is altogether very awkward, just like I was expecting!

Alright, staring at Genkan is actually just like-... just staring at her is too much! My awkwardness can't de-erect me!

We gotta get into the water, this is- yeah. Let's approach it so Maria can't, at first, see my- ah, who cares.

Spla- splash. We walk down the like, steps into the water. It's actually just like, waist height, and there's seats around inside the water, also of marble and such.

And- man, it's-... kinda really warm!

We forgot our towels, but it's probably not gonna matter.

"Nnn…" Genkan makes a noise wha- oh. She floats out of the water- I can see a certain part…! "This water… it is too warm."

cr- crack, crack, crack. A like, arena of ice begins to form around us, encapsulating our shimmering spring water in a limited radius with a thin, modest wall...

Splish. Sitting down at one of the marble mid-pool seats, the water's now up to like, her boobs. "It should cool. I'll put up with the immense warmth for… until it cools."

Splash! Ha-chan bolts inta the water beside me-

Spla- SPLASH! Then, she bolts back out! "Too wa~rm!" She was not prepared for the hot spring!

...So, me and Genkan just awkwardly sit here in the water! She's still glancing down…!

"Anyway-..." Ha-chan hisses as she gets into the water. "Aaa~. ...Aa- anyway, what's that big pointy thing in Brad's vagina!?"

Genkan has a huge blush, that only suddenly breaks out when she has to yell at Ha-chan! "That's a penis, Hana. It's called a penis. Boys have that. Girls don't."

"What's it do?" Ha-chan is just-... I don't even. I don't!

Genkan lets her gaze pan up! "Well, like us, they can pee. Things don't go into their hole. Uu- um…"

Can this-... like, is this educational? We're educationally discussing dick, yes. Freakin'...

This is the first time I've seen Genkan basically naked. Her skin's so pale, and like-... everything about her is amazing. Just- freakin'...

It's literally just us staring at each other now. Genkan's just straight up gazing at my dick and I'm staring at her boobs…!

"You're… thin." She comments idly, smiling as she traces my form.

Am I, huh. "Haven't ya said that before…?"

"Probably." She agrees… "I mean-... this is the first time, not in a bed. Or rather… um, the first time, that I've been able to have a closer look."

The water's disturbed a little, as she scoots closer to me in a floaty motion.

"You-... keep like, staring." I must comment.

"I-..." Genkan pauses, and compacts so hard. "Ye- yes. I was staring. You-..." Then, she shook her head. "Let's just focus on washing, Brad..."

She hugs onto me- and…

It's so different from before. Her bare, soft skin against mine, cooling me in the hot spring to a comfortable degree, and just… I want to hug her harder.

"I want this to be relaxing for you, but-... also, for the both of us." She decided. "I'm sure the awkwardness will fade. It's just-... our bodies are attractive to one another. I'm sure we both have things we want to do to one another at this point, and-... I mean, aside from the scrubbing motions..."

Ha-chan wades on up to us, still staring at my freakin'... "Mmm." Then, she closes her eyes. "Warm wate~r." Hoh.

"Let's not be ashamed, or uncomfortable." Even though the hug ends, Genkan just-... pulls me in close to her, close enough for her right breast to touch my left side. "I love you, Brad. So please… if I do anything somewhat strange to you, it's-... it's to make you feel good." Um. Where is this going.

Ooh. She's floated a washcloth, an' some soap over.

Maria has a towel on her body, and one over her own head to conceal her gaze! "I- I'm hidde~n…"

Genkan snorted at her. "I'm sure that will last."

Genkan's whole fluffy, balanced body is just too much. I want to hug her, and press myself all against her so hard. I wanna feel our legs brush each other-...

When we're done here, I so need to freakin' masturbate. Y'see- this is why mixed gender bathing is such a weird idea! It's awkward even when everyone's like half-good with it…!

Then, suddenly, Genkan starts to drift her body behind me.

"You will be sitting in my lap." She offered…

Wh- ah. Her arms wrap around my chest, and I feel her bra-concealed pillows against my back an' spine.

Her legs- outright wrap around mine. As in, they went around me, under mine, and over, so the front of my ankles would lock against the back of her's. Her arms travel along my ribs, up to my 'pecs' or whatever you call the pec area when it lacks muscular definition. Flat man plains? Just chest?

Re- regardless, getting kneaded and groped by Genkan-... wo- wow.

While Genkan's gropin' me, Ha-chan comes up to us all like… "When my friends wanna make me feel good, they like… they play with my private place." This just keeps getting more surreal…!

"Hana." Genkan speaks loud enough for me ta feel her voice through her own chest. "We're-... not doing that, right now." Freakin'- we're pushing the ratings as it is. Jesus!

"Awh." She pouts a little. "That woulda been fun…"

It- feels so weird to have Genkan cupping my chest. I'm staring down at her slender, pale hands, and… it's- overall just so much contact. From here, I can see how her legs have mine locked into place, and I can feel one of her cheeks against my left shoulder.

The- the scrubbing hasn't even begun yet, she's just molesting me, actually!

"So, Brad…" Genkan breathes kinda quickly, and I can hear her voice in my left shoulder. "Does this feel good?"

"...Ye- yeah." I- I mean, yeah, but I think we missed the point…!

"Are you guys scrubbing?" Maria asks, still blinded by towel. "It doesn't sound like it…!"

Ignoring her, Genkan outright hugs me really hard from behind! "Mm- mnh."

"You should scrub Brad, then…!" Ha-chan gives Maria an aggressive look!

"I'm here to scrub you, you little-… fairy." Maria slowly wades towards Ha-chan, holding her arms out menacingly…! Actually- it's 'cause she can't see-

Genkan scoots up a little, and places her chin atop my left shoulder. "So…" She- speaks into my ear, oh god. "We should talk."

"We-... we weren't already?" I feel like we do a lot of that!

"Last time Maria and I were in the baths…" She referenced our last cleaning day. "We spoke of our families. I was wondering, if it would soothe you… to recollect again, maybe. It would be interesting, too. You lived on the outside…"

My body shakes a little as Genkan runs her hands around random parts of it-... basically just feeling me up. Tensions-... are high…!

"We- well." It's-... really hard to think right now! Ha-chan's naked, and looks pretty cute all things considered, Genkan's smoking hot, and I'm getting molested by her…! It doesn't help that Genkan just still has the cow bra on, since it works as a bikini piece, and that's just- nnh.

Let's try again. "My parents-... were pretty cool." They had their lows and highs. I mean, considering all the horror stories I've heard, while my parents can be boneheads at times, they sure ain't completely retarded like so many others I hear…

Genkan snorts into my ear- and just- I'm melting into her lap… "I'm sure you have more to say than that."

"I- I'm distracted…!" This is like- ho- holy shit… "But, ye- yeah. They could have been… better, but they were far from the worst. Real far. Some of that's just from the big ass mistakes their parents made. They might love their folks, but man, fuck them."

I don't really have any tragedy or strangeness to how I was brought up. I mean, something did happen to my mother when I was younger, though. She didn't get murderized or shanked or leave or anything, but…

"...Parenting could be so much an issue?" Genkan wondered. Oh, boy.

Despite her wandering hands, I start…! "Good parents are seldom, outside. Probably in here too, but I dunno. But, with so many people on the outside, and so many people doing just-... straight up retarded things, you really get thinkin'. I-... I always felt the mark of a bad parent was one who went out of their way to make more conflict without thinking about the result of their decision."

My parents were kinda hands-off. I'd always cringe, hearing about a kid whose parents were so overbearing about media and life. Such kids are so deprived of autonomy and their own sense of exploration. In no longer knowing such things without being rebels in some way, they pass on their stupid ass minds to their own kids.

An' if you think, 'oh but the good things win in the end, they get better', nnn~no. S'not quite how that works. There's a reason we probably still have domestic social issues from the fookin' Roman era. They don't fix themselves.

Phase two: communicating this! "...I'd really often hear about parents who like, got in their kids way. Without really knowin' the difference between like, intervening to stop them from being idiots, and like… intervening for vague instincts, or 'cause they think that's what parents just do, or something similarly stupid."

"...That-... that is the challenge of parenting, isn't it?" Genkan- the side of her head presses against mine, as she slowly, deliberately freakin'... runs her hands over me. Wh- why, yo. "I'm… I'm glad you think about things like that, even. As someone who ran around like you did… what relevance did parenting have to you, actually?"

I snort! "I had parents! Big part of my life…!"

Genkan snorts in turn. "St-... stupid question, I suppose… it- it just seemed… oddly thoughtful, I guess. Oddly forward thinking..."

Oh trust me, the outside's nothin' but forward thinkin' and feeling trapped in the moment.

Ge- Genkan's hands brush my waist, and it tickles, and also like-... I'm not calming down anytime soon.

"Do you have any other ideas?" Genkan hugs onto me tightly again. "Aa-... about parenting?"

Um… "I- I dunno."

We're sitting here, naked, in a bath together, talking about parenting. I fear for my virginity, my boys.

"Y'know…" Maria speaks up, holding onto Ha-chan's arm in the background. "I- I think it was like… didn't we do it where the speaker went on about their life and stuff, and the person getting scrubbed just listened?"

"Mmh." Genkan hums against my back. I- just… she's so lovable. Goddamn…! "Oh well. It's fun hearing Brad squirm." Aaa~h!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Admittedly, this trip to the baths has been more of a handful than I was expecting. I- I don't consider that a pun to the fact I have my hands full of Brad's body, either.

His body is remarkably tense, and keeps jittering from my slightest movements. I know he's loving every moment of this, but the tone of the situation…

"It just popped into my head." As I was thinking about him, I found a new question. I deliver it into his ear, because that always gets a rise out of him. "I don't think I've ever asked how old you are, Brad."

"...Ei- eighteen." Oh? Only a few years older than Maria, then.

"Wh- really?" Maria sounds surprised, her head still bound by a towel. It's really cute, how she just looks around randomly while blind like that. "Wow…"

Speaking of cute things, I hug onto Brad again. I feel him sigh. This is good…

Admittedly, earlier, I was not prepared to… simply see his place up close. That melted my nerves for some time. I think I'm getting them back, now.

It's really moments like that which you dread, but once they pass, they're really not all that bad. Especially now. If I wanted to gaze… you know, at him, I could just look down. Seeing it from just beyond his own shoulder too, is… I- I don't know how to describe it. Fascinating…?

I don't really want to admit it, but I'm probably as pent up as Brad is, right now. Fortunately, there's no easy visual indicator on females… to- to say that they want to mate. Not in a bath, anyway.

I float a brush over, now that I've got my bearings a little better. Yes, being honest with myself helps. Brad's obviously not going to be able to forward things himself just yet, so it's probably good that I'm washing him first. Perhaps it will put him in the right mind to wash me without dying of lust or embarrassment.

When my brush meets his hair, I realize the oncoming challenge. Truly, this mess of rat's nests and knots of his is the ultimate hair-styling challenge…

Is there even shampoo, here? I look around waywardly, and see… bottles. Well.

...I float all of them over. Quietly, an ice shelf forms in the water behind me, so I can place it all down and read each one.

"Fr- freakin'..." Brad really doesn't know what to say. I'm pretty sure his nerves are just blown away. "Good luck wit' the brush…!"

Every time he speaks seriously, I find myself appreciating him more and more. While he's not really serious at heart, he has serious thoughts, and I'm sure if it was absolutely necessary, he could choose to actually be fully serious at length.

The fact he's even thought about parenting, and people, and things like that… he has so much more depth than I'd first realized. It's actually somewhat surprising, considering I'd thought him beneath even the regular human when we first met.

Ah. I found a bottle of ivory and lavender, and it's quite used. Perhaps it's a good scent, then.

...I splay the shampoo randomly across his hair everywhere. Because, really, we're going to need the rest of the bottle. A mere squirt of shampoo is not enough for this warzone.

With it all there, I begin my work. Aa- wow, that's a lot better actually. My brush doesn't get stuck immediately.

"Maria-..." I-... at some point, Maria and Hana got behind us, in their vague tussle. Hana cannot sit still. "That- feels weird."

"I- I bet it does!" Maria sounds slightly frustrated. "You- you earned it, though. I- I can't get you to stop otherwise." You should have brought that particular staff into the bath, Maria.

I keep forgetting, that when Brad's hair is wet, and properly sorted, it starts to straighten out. Personally, I find it cutest at a sort of… previously, when it was particularly greasy, it weighed itself down and had a certain style. When that's all gone, his hair just kind of frizzes up and fwoofs out. That balance between full fluff and slick grease seems best.

Maybe this shampoo will perform a miracle, however. We'll just have to see, I guess.

When Brad's hair is straight, it's… actually longer than I'd bargained for. It goes down to his upper back. So- somehow. When it's bunched up like it normally is, it hardly goes past his neck. This is practically magic.

Um. After about ten strokes of the brush, the bristles are clogged with loose, dead hair, and built up dirt.

fwish. I freeze the brush solid, and hold it bristles-down over the water.

ploop. The hair and dirt all slides off as a fossil of ice, and I get to continue my work.

"Nn-..." Aw. Brad's losing his mind. He let out a little noise, as I brushed him.

Oh, right, I slightly missed a step of the process. It didn't matter too much, but…

fwi- fwi- fwi- fwish. Letting the brush rest in the water beside me, I really scrub that shampoo into his hair with my hands.

Yes. Now, everything feels normal. For me, at least. Brad's going crazy, but that's good.

"Well." I suppose I'll begin talking of my own parental situation. I'd already told Maria once. "The mothers of yuki-onna… they leave their daughters at the rough age of ten."

Brad's body immediately slows as I start speaking. He's likely beyond charmed, at this point.

"So, I never excessively knew my mother." There's really no reason for me to reflect. "...Now, I wouldn't agree with her philosophies on humans, and that would likely… be a huge driving point between us."

"She-... she-..." Brad can't even talk back.

"If she met you and Maria, she'd kill the both of you on sight, and chastise me for my ignorance." I shake my head. "She never appreciated my… more sensitive ways to begin with. She looks down on younger women."

Most older, long-lived yuki-onna do not believe in social interaction, strength in numbers, community or friends. I used to prize them for this, and thought they so simply knew something more than me. Something that would come to me in time, when I lived as long as they did.

Now? I fear such a fate. It seems so blind, so… in a way, stupid. They may have their reasons… but, it's like Brad had said. Without others to care about, they've stopped being people. They believe only in time, and gathering heat for the coming summer hibernation. Once this motive is filled, it's rinse and repeat.

This world is complicated and hard.

It's been about fifteen minutes of me just brushing Brad's hair. I think… I think I got all the knots out. Let me just…

I'm kind of cheating. Since most of the knots just get ripped out of his hair in the end anyway, to save him the slight ache of them coming out, I freeze the tough ones and just shatter them. Split ends? Obviously. Will he care? Nnn… no. Certain no. He hasn't brushed his hair since he came to Gensokyo, likely, and my last attempt was… shallow, by comparison.

Only so much you can do without shampoo. This stuff smells nice indeed…

It's about time for the soap and washcloth.

"Older yuki-onna…" I don't know what I wanted to say, when I began speaking. "They are something to be afraid of."

The gold light of this room makes even me somewhat tired. I bet Brad would be happy falling asleep in a hug of mine right about now.

This said, the real scrubbing begins now. I start with his back, because I bet that hasn't been washed for-... awhile. Oh- yes, look at all that dirt. Woah…

It comes off like sheets. Once the soap really works into his skin-... I- I mean, let's put it this way. If we crafted this dirt into clay, we could make a weapon from how much dirt is on Brad's body.

...Idly, I scrape a nail down his back. He shudders, seeming to like it.

It captured a long clump, or if we wanted to be particularly disgusting, a curd of dirt. Combined with the water and soap, it was like a grey spot of clay. When I crush it with my fingers, it's almost clay-like, but it dissipates into my fingers, becoming stuck to my own skin.

I start scratching his back just to feel him shake in my lap. "Feel good?"

"Nn- yeah…" He's so sensitive. I'm also a hypocrite, because I was quite… flustered, earlier.

His body is nice. I'd probably melt were he more assertive with me. But, I'm quite happy that he isn't, also. While I might be interested in how things would be if he were the one making me squirm, I quite like retaining control.

The washcloth travels to his chest. Time to wash his-... I'm not sure what a man's breast is called, now that I think about it. Man chest. The way I put it is kind of cute…

"Man chest." I dare to say it aloud, as I scrub his-... man chest.

He snorts, but still laxes into my grasp. Mmh…

Let's be mean. "Fu~." I exhale into his right ear.

That is dangerously effective. "Aa-" He even makes a noise, his head shaking a little and leaning left.

"Fuu~." I let a longer breath out. This is bullying. I am a bully.

"Ho- holy shit…" Hehehe…

Now more excited, I viciously scrub a circle into his chest, trying to ignore-... you know, what I can see just ahead. Between his legs. What if I-

Nn- no. No. I'm not going to touch that. Not… not right now. It begins with a touch, and then it'd become… yeah. I know how these things go. Ninjas of Love has taught me well.

I mean, he still has to get washed down there, though. Maybe he'll just have to handle it himself.

I'd thought scrubbing Maria was different from my sisters… scrubbing Brad is a whole different world. It's almost not luxury, in the sense that Brad actually needs… a lot of physical care. My sisters took care of themselves almost religiously, so washing them was just, you know, all for fun.

Brad's body is a ground-zero of dirt patches. His scalp is- well, was- a maze of knots. I don't know anything about massages, but touching his shoulders… the way he reacts when I press down on them just emanates stress.

Now that I look at it, his hair is good. Aa- as in, I didn't accidentally give him a haircut while freezing knots and breaking them into dust. There's at least five or six- or eight- cakes of ice, hair and dirt in the water around us.

At the same time, washing him is, in a way, a luxury. I get to ogle him and grope him.

I cup his left 'breast' again and grope it in a circular motion, while my right hand scrubs. If he asks me later about it, I'll just say it was to work the soap in. Just a little massage. Yes.

"Would you li-... like me to do your arms and legs, too?" I'm not sure why I even ask this. That's far beyond the amount of care anyone would normally go to in someone else. But-... I just- want to.

"I- I guess so…" Actually, Brad wouldn't be familiar with the customs, would he. So, he just accepted my notion by default.

...Let's start with the legs. Specifically, the inner thigh.

Spla- splash. Letting him free of my grasp, I drift around him in the water, to his front.

"Ra- raise a leg." Time to test my hormones, and character. "It- has to be out of the water, for the soap to do anything…"

He looks intimidated. Understandably so.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Wh- why… am- I always getting scrubbed down first?

Somehow, Hana like, elected to give me a wash and stuff, once she was done getting away from me.

The most weird part's already passed. She tried scrubbing my… place first, and tried to for like, awhile, but she eventually learned better.

"Your shoulders are so little." Unlike with Brad and Genkan, we are not having intelligent commentary. "So little~!" Hana really likes my little shoulders…!

"Th- they can't be that little." I dunno why I argue with her…

"They are!" Yeah. I guess they are, then.

Then, I hear Genkan say something from over here. "Would you li-... like me to do your arms and legs, too?"

"I- I guess so." Brad replied innocently. Genkan, why'd you even ask him. You just want to stare at his dick.

Those two are going to explode, I swear. A few weeks ago, I was really frightened just by Brad mentioning the word dick candidly. I mean-... I'm still pretty easily flustered, but it's easy to not care when you're not involved. That, and… some things just stop being awkward after a while.

"Fr- freakin'..." Brad whines in the background. "Uuh…!"

I- I mean, admittedly… Brad isn't bad looking, or a bad person, but he's Genkan's person. I'm kinda reminded of the relationship my mom and stepdad had. He wasn't the most stand-up or stand-out person, but he was alright, and mom wanted to love him. He wanted to love mom, too.

No~t that it matters now.

It's also hard to think about bad things, with Hana clumsily rubbing my chest down. I wonder if that rumor about boobs getting bigger when massaged is true. I doubt it, but… I don't think anyone's really tested it. Sci- scientifically, I mean...

Taking the washcloth away from my chest, Hana slaps it against my back. "Take that!" ...Was she trying to replicate that towel whip maneuver? That-... wasn't it. I don't know how to do it myself, but that wasn't it.

Water is really good. Whenever I see water, be it in a river, pond, or a big hot tub like this… I just wanna like, drink it. Not that that's a good idea, but it still looks refreshing.

The same goes for this spring. It's a little insufferably hot and steamy, but…

"Blizzard." I poke my hand into the water, and cast.

fwish. Bubbles come out of my hands, instead of ice, and even though my hand chills, I don't freezer-burn my skin.

Bubbles, huh. Controlling water…

"Ooo." Hana smiles a whole lot behind me. "You should cast Thunder…!"

Hana, no. "You're mental." In no way do lightning bolts help you get squeaky clean.

"Hehehe!" At least she knows her idea was terrible.

I never got how to control water. Using telekinesis on a whole clump of water is just-... how? It's like trying to levitate a human by their skin and body stuff instead of their clothes, or a big piece of armor or their weapon. Basically, really hard.

With water-... it's shimmering, constantly moving. Already full of- or empty of- energy. There's such heat energy in this water, even Blizzard can't cool it in one pass. I can't just set it to be cold reliably, there's so much.

Genkan's ice walls she's erected around her little pool area have, in part, melted to the hot spring. They've for sure cooled it by a lot, but… hmm. She has a way easier time cooling the water down to nothing. If I used Blizzara it might work, but… that's not quite the point.

Point is, how the heck do I grab something so active? Or summon it from the air, when there is none? Or make it move, when it's all really cold? I have so many questions…!

Hana drifts in front of me, and starts washing my back while in my face, entirely defeating the point of being behind me in the first place.

Her face is soft, and really cute, though. "Hana, why…"

"C'mere." What…? That's- not a reason.

So, I 'c'mere', and she keeps scrubbing my back, even though she can't even see it.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====

"...You're-... clean, now. Ideally." Washing the legs wasn't my smartest idea.

"...Good." Brad's face is burning. My face is burning. We're burning.

On the upside, his legs really needed the washing. I'm pretty sure he just never remembered to wash them much, and only let water attempt to do the work. They're a shade less grey than they were before, so much so that it's almost impressive.

So. Now… hmm. This… is going to be interesting.

"Brad." Sitting here beside him, I take a breath. "...It's your turn."

He blinks at me. "...Oo- oh."

pap. I gently float a brush into his face. Behold, the haunted brush.

"Give my hair a once-over." I request. "...You don't have to pull off any miracles, like the one I did for you."

He starts to move, but I put a hand on him. "Stay. I'll… I'll sit on your lap."

Putting my arms on his shoulders, I make one floating motion over to him…

Taking care not to sit down wrong, I sit on his thighs, with my legs extended past him. I-... I still feel something poking me, but…

Like this, I also wrap my arms around him. My chest presses against his, and his tired face expresses awe.

My head is spinning. "You-... you can start with scrubbing instead, if you'd like." I just- want to wrap myself around him…

"Aa-" His hands move for my chest. "Ah." He presses on them.

A sound escapes my lips. "Nn- anh."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

thump. Ho~h… holy shit.

The moment we leave the hot spring room, I flop down onto my knees and hands…! Inside, all our clothes were in a nice, clean pile, so I was able ta get them all on.

I got Reimu's shrine maiden outfit on, for a change! It's also kinda warm in the mansion, so I don't gotta worry about becoming a fluffsicle.

...Genkan lifts me back up onto my legs, by my exposed armpits. "We just cleaned up. Don't go rolling around on the floor now." Awh…

For those who want to know! We somehow avoided lewding each other! Well, fully. We still pretty much groped the shit outta each other. It's becoming really obvious now, that Genkan wants to snuggle me into the next goddamn dimension.

Aw, dude. When we were just about done touching each other inappropriately, there was this fluffle trying to swim at the bottom of the hot spring. What a lug, dude.

"Genkan-" Maria spoke up, comin' out of the hot spring room behind us! "Why do your panties replace your on-hit status with dispel. Who did that."

"I don't even know what that means, so I just pretend it's a normal garment." Genkan decided! Then, she focuses on me summore.

"Are you tired?" Genkan immediately asks me next… "We could nap."

"I-... dunno!" I still got some energy. How late is it, actually…?

"I wanna find-... that purple chick." Maria decides! "Patchouli Knowledge?" She wants to learn more magic, dude.

"Actually…" Genkan wonders somethin'. "We ought to see if someone here gives massages. You need one." Daa~h…!

"I- I need one?" Yer just gonna decide that fer me…!? I mean- she's certainly not wrong, but-

"Yes." She gives me a fluffy nod. "An actual massage, at that. My-... my scrubbing cleansed you, but it didn't undo your disaster." My- disaster…!

"He- his disaster." Maria echoed! "What the heck."

Y'know, maybe that would also be the break I need. Who'd give a massage, though? Wait- Meiling. Probably Meiling. Koakuma, if I was suicidal.

"...Perhaps not the right word." Genkan admitted! "Still."

That massage sounds like a good time. Bu~t…

"Y'know, that massage does sound fun." I confess! "...But we're gonna get up to shenanigans on the way there!"

...Lookin' interested, Genkan snorted. "Shenanigans, you say. If they involve giant floating crosses or fountains, I'm going to cry."

I shake my head! "I sure hope not! I was thinkin' we could tease the fairies!"

"Ooo!" Ha-chan romps up behind us! "I wanna tease the fairies!" Y'say that, but…!

Smiling, Genkan accepts! "Sure. Do you have a plan, or…?"

"No!" I beam back! "...Well, not yet!"

She suddenly steps real close to me. "As expected. Well… lead the way."

...I stare at her 'cause she got really close ta me fer no reason-

"Mmm." She gives me a peck on the cheek…! "Mwah." Oo- oh! Man- it's so strange, but so good, for her to just… come up and inflict affection on me. She must've really liked that bath session, or something…!

Maria snorts. "Ge- geez."

Ha-chan romps up to us, and also gets close! "Oh, yeah! That was like, kissing, wasn't it?"

Genkan blinks. "...Yes. If you didn't know, somehow."

Ha-chan comes up to my other cheek- "Mm- mwah!" Good. Is this- is this how things are gonna be now…?

Genkan grins and shakes her head…! "We don't need to get more pent up, at this point."

"Y'know-" I didn't say anything about it, 'cause it's just been happening, but- "Yer way more into me than you were like, three days ago…!"

...Genkan looks a little surprised I brought this up! "Well… yes. If- if you didn't notice, and need it spelled out, I'm falling for you."

I mean- it was pretty obvious, but also like-... sudden! "It was obvious, but I was curious how fast we got to this point!"

"It's because, the more I see you open up, the more I realize you're a person with a lot to you." Genkan states clearly. "And-... and honestly, after you showed your anger so vividly, I felt like I saw a whole other side of you. I always knew you had more to you, but after hearing your thoughts again and again…"

She wraps her left arm around me, which ends up pokin' my right arm into one a' her boobs, and begins movin' me along. "I- I love you. Just- in case you were doubting me, somehow."

Oo- oh.

"Now…" As we walk together, she gestures her arm ahead. "Let's go torment those fairies. And-... remember, if you ever feel like we're overbearing in some way, it's-... it's okay to go do what you want to do. Okay?"

Ge- geez. "...Ye- yeah."

...After we continue a little, Maria gets sassy! "All I wanted to do was see the purple lady, and my suggestion gets sideswiped by a love confession."

...Grinnin', I turn back ta her! "That's true, innit…!?"

"Sor- sorry." Genkan also grins back at her! "...I'd suggest you go visit her myself, but with this mansion, I couldn't trust that you'd be safe."

Hmm. "...I'd also suggest Ha-chan lead ya, but uuh." I don't think Ha-chan can lead herself, let alone anyone else…!

"I can find Brad-kun easy!" She declares! "...Everything else, not so much!" Exactly…!

"You could get a massage with Brad here." Genkan suggested. "Then, we could all visit the library shortly after. Or even…"

She met my gaze. "We could visit the library, and Brad could go off and do whatever he wants, if he doesn't want to follow us.As long as he doesn't hurt himself." Hoh hoh…! "I mostly say this, because I think he might just forget he can deviate from us if he wanted to, so he doesn't. Not that we've had much reason to deviate before, but… this is a place he knows well. Somewhat."

"We'll see, yo." I'm not just gonna run off without a good reason! An' visitin' Patchy might be fun, even if I always forget what I wanna have her help me with when I see her. Like, uuh… hmm. I'm drawin' a blank again…!

"Brad, you should try to learn magic." Maria proposes! "...It's, um, helpful."

Oh, yeah. I always meander down to Patchy's, subconsciously being all like 'ah yes, the path to power in all of Gensokyo, the SDM library'. An' then I just annoy the shit out of her, annoy the shit out of Koakuma, or get into trouble instead…!

Also, uh, news flash, I can't read Japanese! Or even ancient forgotten eldritch dialects! Kinda pokes a hole in the whole self-studying thing!

"Maybe!" I dunno! An' I've got some other idea at the back a' my mind.

Sakuya. I kinda wanna get Sakuya's thoughts on something. Maybe like… combat strategy, or somethin' similar. She's the most all-round kinda person in this mansion! Meiling's like, hard tank girl, and Patchy is soft super magic girl. Both're varying extremes!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

After moving down the halls in an effort to find the front of the mansion again, we got hopelessly, horribly lost.

Various fluffy-haired, pastel fairies sat on random wood chairs an' couches, which faced forward at some tiny stage made of wood boxes an' curtains from windows, I think.

A sign atop the stolen curtain rails on the roof of the 'stage' reads 'Shoe n Tell'.

Me, Genkan an' Maria size up the scene from the sidelines! "So…" Genkan gives me a wayward look! "Ideas?"

"We enter the talent show!" I proclaim, despite this being not that! "That's what the sign says, dude. Talent shoe."

"Wh- no?" Wait, can Maria- "It says sh- shoe and tell. Shoe-... shoe and tell."

"Shoe and tell." Genkan echoes…!

"I wanna tell a shoe!" Ha-chan barrels forward amidst the fairies! "Hey, guys!"

"Hey- it's Hana!"

"Where've you been…!?"

"Who's Hana?"

"I brought a loaf…"

How fluffy, dude. Someone brought a loaf. I wanna eat it, dude. I wanna eat it up!

"We gotta find the loaf." I tell Genkan. "It sounds edible."

...She snaps her fingers! "We forgot to get food. Again." Hey yo, they say not to eat before bathing! It's a good thing, or else the bathtub woulda killed all of us instantly!

"We won't need food when we find the loaf." I decide! "Maria, cast find loaf."

"I think we're in big trouble if I cast anything…!" Maria protests! "There's- more than a few fairies."

Wait. Idea.

Turning to Genkan an' Maria, I go shhh. "Shhh." We're gonna be quiet. "Don't say anything to them, dude. We're class-acts."

Amidst the warm candle light of the mid-halls, I jazzily strut up to the shoe convention, looking snug, dude.

...A cream haired fairy an' a pastel-yellow haired fairy gimme a look, dude. "Who are you?" The right one asks!

I give them both a silent smile, and just strut past 'em!

"Hey- hold on, that's that Brad guy. The one who beat up Komi-chan!"

"Oh, geez…"

"Wh- hey." Aw. I look in the direction of a hustled fairy, to see that Genkan has also just silently began brushing past fairies! "Who the heck-"

Wait. Oh.

There's this green-haired fairy who actually just has a loaf of bread. She actually brought a loaf. That might be impressive by fairy standards!

...Slowly, me an' Genkan an' Maria congregate in the center, looking around like morons and bumping fairies outta the way for no reason!

"Aa- okay- who invited all the non-fairies…!?"

"They're not saying anything…"

"They sure are rude, though!"

We're the center of the fluffy convent now, dude. Poofy fairies are casually staring at us, and looking snug at the same time.

I break my vow of silence! "...Why're like," something about them really interests me! "Why're half of you swaying to some kinda... silent beat?" It's like a bunch of the ones with kinda fwoofy bangs all sway to the same beat!

"Because we're cute." A red-headed one comes up ta me, and y'know, that's as good an answer as any, really…! "Take this." Wh-

thud. She pushes me over, and I land on my butt. "Wh- oof." An' then she just turns around, and leaves me alone…!

"I thought we'd be bullying fairies." Genkan remarks! "Not being bullied by fairies."

"Hey, yo." Getting back up, I give her a ginger look. "...Shoes."

"I'm gonna-" Maria winds up…! "I'm gonna, eat my own fluffles."

...The fairies all around her give her wary looks, and back off!

"How." I'm surprised by her creativity…! "Why would you say that, dude."

She smiles back! "They're dusty."

An' then, a fairy meanders onto the makeshift stage, from around some curtains at the sides of it. She pulls a freakin'... presentation board onto the stage. Actually, it's just a whiteboard, and it has a buncha freakin' messy writing on it.

"Uh oh…" One of the fairies around us had woe, dude.

Her dress was white and black, and for some reason she had like… wood block shoulder pads. Her dress was weirdly square, somehow forming a cubic skirt, and she had her hair cut squarely, making her look like a tomboy.

Cla- clack. The whiteboard shook on uneven supports, as she tried to align it right. Da~h… are- are those even-... yeah, the hinges are slanted, holding the board at different heights. Really different heights! Wuh oh.

Click. Taking a marker from the rail of the whiteboard, she frantically scribbled something on the left side a' it, before putting it down without putting the cap on. The marker was just about outta-... marking power! Ink- yeah, something like that.

Everyone quieted down, somehow, as we watched the fairy… organize herself, I guess!

"Brad." Oh? Aw, Maria… "I found loaf." Wh- aw! She did!

"My loaf is gone…" The green fairy ahead of us lamented, all of a sudden!

Wait. Dude- this loaf is really hard…! Uh oh!

"Of course." Genkan shook her head, when I knocked on it like it was a brick. "I was almost satisfied that we stole something from a fairy for a moment." Myself, I was feelin' slightly guilty, until I found out the loaf was stale. Now I dunno what's more tragic: the fact we stole it, or the fact it was never good ta begin with…

"In eighteen eighty four!" The fairy girl on stage begun! "Meridian time personnel met in Washington to change Earth time!" Whah. Some- someone here knows what Washington is…?

"First, words was said- that only one day could be used on Earth, to not change the one day marshmallow." She-... she, huh. The- one day marshmallow. "So they applied the one day, and ignored the other three days!"

"Uu- um." Ha-chan looks intimidated, all of a sudden!

"The marshmallow time was wrong then, and it proved wrong today." The fairy confidently declared…! "This is a major lie. Has so much- boring feed- from- it's wrong. No man on Earth has no belly-button, it proves every believer on Earth-" she inhaled- "a liar."

...Me an' Genkan trade a look, of sorts! Random fairies from the ensemble here just start leaving…!

Seeing the other fairies go, freakin' cube fairy goes off! "Earth has four simultanious days- with only one rotation! Losing three days- in each Earth rotation has retarded- your mentality to stupid! And an education of evi~l! You do not have the mind or education- to envision Nature's- hah- Time Cube!"

Uh oh. It's- another one of these people. Oh no…!

Genkan drifts closer to her! "Could-... could you explain?"

...Takin' pause at that, the fairy gestured to her whiteboard. "See here! Einstein lives here. Jesus lives here- and Mistress Scarlet lives here! And Dracula lived here! Four simultaneous days happening at once!"

It was some kinda diamond graph. Is she-... describing time zones? One's night, the other's day. But-... with the people she mentioned, that's like, alternate… timelines? What…!?

"Three equator, four courner earth time rotates ninety six hours as a simultaneous four day cube. You were taught that the earth has only one equator, as if the Earth was flat. You were taught, ignora~nce!" Holy shit! "Creation has two sex poles, and four corner races of humans!"

...Genkan nods, soakin' it in! "Wh- what." Sike! She's just as lost as we all are…!

The fairy heaves a sigh at her. "...Look." Alright, we're lookin'! "If Earth stood still, it would have-.. mid-day, mid-night, sun-up and sun-down as four corners."

Genkan nods. "So, time zones." Honh.

Ooh- the fairy went angry eyes dude! "No! No- you brilliant, boring bastard! Each rotation of Earth has four mid-days! Four mid-nights! Four sun-ups, and four sun-downs. The sixteen space times demonstrates cube proof- of four full days simultaneously on Earth within one rotation!"

...Lookin' back, Genkan gives me a worried look! I just shrug back at 'er…!

Inhaling, the fairy continued. "The academia created one day greenwich time is bastardly, and dooms future youth and nature to a- a hell."

"I-..." Maria begins! "I don't get it…?" An' she also ends…

Romping off the stage, the confusing fairy comes up to her! "You- are a personified pyramid corner." Wh- wat.

"Oh?" Maria looks innocently lost…!

"Educated people are the evil empowerment of the self." The fairy-... yeah. "The lowest form of humanity. A human will rotate around four-corner lifetime stages within a family metamorphosis- baby, child, parent, grandparent. Name your four-sixteen greatgrandparents."

Huh.

"Well." Genkan-...

Maria still has that innocent look on her face…!

"You're confusing." Ha-chan looks slightly displaced by her…!

"You are one fourth of the person- you were taught to think you are!" The fairy gets aggressive! I can't believe she retroactively locked Brawler Style…! "The primary purpose for education is not subject matter! But, subservience; to accept any crap taught without opposing thought! Destroying opposite brain thought, to be submissive android! You're taught to be brilliant."

...Maria looks opposed, dude. "So-... so, time zones?"

"Nngh!" She said the wrong thing, dude! "I was born to think cubic! As in a four-corner family life! Therefore, I rise above you." She floats into the air…! "You are educated brilliant, you are educated boring. You will ignore message, and attack the messenger!"

...Maria huddles up next to me! "I- I think she's trying to talk about time zones…" Yeah- I half-think that, but I also think she's just getting on alternate realities 'er some shit. I can't make heads or tails of it…!

That, and she has-... some kinda commentary against education? I think her fairy brain is fairy-fried! Like, she makes points I half-agree with, but also… she gets to them with the wrong reasoning. Like- it'd be like if I said school was bad, 'cause my shoes are untied, and Einstein existed. Freakin'...!

"Boring educated 'singularity' brilliant- ignores the cubic wisdom of wisest human- and the greatest thinker." This fairy…! "No human or god can match nature's simultaneous four day rotation in one earth rotation!"

We've done it. We've met the legendary bamboozler. I can't come up with bullshit that stinks this bad. Holy fuck.

So- time zones are above gods now? I mean- maybe not technically wrong, but… actually, there's probably a gods specific times of day, now that I think about it. That'd be kinda spooky…!

"I'm going to be… honest." Genkan looks jaded! "I-"

"No human has a right to believe wrong!" The fairy announces over her! "For that would be boring thinking! Ignorance of four days is boring!"

Wh- aw. Genkan hooks her arm around my shoulders, and starts to goad me away.

"Okay…!?" Maria refuses to argue back! "Um…"

Ha-chan hunches close to us… "I think Gina-chan's really smart, but just isn't good with words, maybe…" Gina-chan, huh.

"I- I'm uh, sure." Maria doesn't buy a word of that! "...Do- you know what she's talking about?"

Ha-chan grins! "No!"

The fairy- Gina-chan- moves up behind us! "Boring of believing is not measuring-"

"Yo- hey!" Holdin' out a hand, I let Genkan stop goadin' me, and stop the fairy right there!

...She gives me a glare, still floatin'. Did- did I piss 'er off, somehow?

"Y'ever-... talk wit' Patchy? Patchouli Knowledge?" Let's do a knowledge check dude. Aha, aha… aah.

Then, the fairy beams! "Knowledge's moon rocket was far less of an achievement than Time Cube discovery. For I have cubed the Earth, with four simultaneous corner days in one rotation of Earth."

...I look at Genkan, an' she's holdin' a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh!

"Dh- aa-..." Maria almost fails at doin' so! "Cubed the Earth."

I snort! "She cubed the Earth, dude."

"Bastards!" Shit, she's loud! "Boring, brilliant singular bastards are justified to be kissed!"

Wat…!?

"Let's-" Genkan starts to goad me again, moving us away…! "Let's go, Brad…" Oh no!

"You will see the truth!" Gina yells us down, as we leave! "You live only for today- boring singularity word bastards! Dog brain students!"

Genkan pushes me away faster! "Hurry…!" Wh- why…!?

We sprint away, for some reason!?

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Where the frik're we now.

We're in some kinda… gallery, of sorts? The floor's black-and-white tiles this time, but they're bigger and fancier than the crappy mall-style tiles we progressed over earlier.

Big, marble pillars line this massive hallway we entered.

"ooouuu" A fluffle floats past us, makin' ghostie noises.

Genkan looks vaguely put off by it fer a moment, before accepting its existence.

There are windows on either end of the hallway, but each one seems to lead to Remilia's throne room. S'a bit weird, 'cause the left windows lead to her right wall, an' the right windows lead to her left wall, and neither can see the other's windows. I guess 'cause they're all like, one-way… screen things, or somethin'.

By the way, Remi ain't even there right now! Random fairies are tryina' hang up Christmas decor along the ceiling in Remi's room instead.

A big, upside down cross like the one we smashed seems ta be against the wall behind her throne, shimmering with some kinda platinum-purple light. Ah, wait…

Leanin' against one of the right windows ta get a good look at the cross, I turn ta Genkan. "I think I know why they got random Christian crap."

Maria reacts! "It's probably-... um, Christmas was a like, western holiday, right?" She asks!

"Ye." I give her the good nod.

Actually, the hallway layout is like… black-white tiles down the center, then deep maroon carpets at either side which rest under the big marble pillars. An' then, windows!

Atop these deep crimson carpets are… tables an' shit! Just, a buncha superficial lounging areas that no one really seems to be using. The couches seem to be leather, dude. Big step up from the random halls I've seen the past few months!

"ooouuu" The only weird thing is, every like, ten seconds, a fluffle floats down the hallway and makes a ghost noise at us. Freakin'...!

"I remember mom telling me about how Christmas used to be-... like, a big religious holiday." Maria recounted! "I forget if you said something like that, too. It was-... um. What religion did it belong to?"

I grin at her! "S'in the title, yo. Christ-mas. Christianity…!"

Y'know, never gave a shit 'bout religion myself, but Christian churches and chapels are like, one a' the few common Victorian-esque things that exist, so I can at least respect the architecture.

"Aa- right." Maria nods again. "So, they probably have the crosses and stuff… to make fun of Christianity."

I snap my fingers! "That's what I'm bettin' on, too!"

S'probably why they're also celebrating Christmas…! I mean, aside from it also being just a fun holiday.

"...I see." Genkan can see, dude. "Now that I think about it… this mansion is quite out of place, in Gensokyo." Y'don't say…!

"Yeah." Maria agreed. Aw.

"ooouuu" Is- is this like, multiple fluffles, or does the same one just keep wrappin' around. Freakin', tubs, dude.

We progress on down through the gallery of random leather furniture, until Maria starts makin' small talk. "You guys are-... acting really casual, for um…"

"Hmm?" Genkan halfway looks back at 'er.

"Nn- nothing." Maria thought better of it, fer some reason.

That just makes Genkan more interested! "...What?"

Maria shies away, smiling hard fer some reason. Why's she embarrassed…!? Actually, she used ta get embarrassed a lot more often, didn't she? Maybe…

Maybe she just has gas, dude.

"You guys touched each other in the bath a whole lot!" I- I think Ha-chan says what Maria wanted to say!

"Wh- why bring that up…?" Genkan gives Ha-chan a tiny look…!

Let it never be said what happened after that scene break. S'on a need ta know basis son, and you don't need ta know.

"Things-... happened!" I think me an' Genkan silently agreed to not bring it back up just yet…! But, rest assured, the sexual tension is some levels beyond astronomic…

But- we don't gotta think about that right now!

"ooouuu" You said it, random freakin'... fluffle!

"Wh- what the heck." Maria takes this opportunity to bail on the subject, and gets distracted by the fluff. "Fire."

fwoom- bam. Wh- aw, she nuked it! "waaaal" It lets out a small wail as it goes up in smoke…

"...It's dead." I stare at the dusty ashes on the floor. "You killed it."

"Good." Maria gives some big nods! "It was dusty."

"ooouuu" How- what. I look ahead-

fwump. Another fluff appears, and bumps against Genkan's face! "Wh- aa-"

"Achoo!" When it surpasses her face, she sneezes! "What-...?"

"Fire!" Maria holds her staff out, and attacks again!

fwoom- bam. She nukes the second fluffle, and it dies instantly. "waaaal"

...An' then, not even like two seconds later: "ooouuu"

Genkan ducks under the oncoming, floating fluffle this time. "I- I think this hallway is cursed…"

"I think so too!" We're being attacked!

An' then, Maria's stomach growls.

We all stare at her instantly. There's no escape, yo. We just know!

"Um." She cringes! "...Ma- maybe we ought to-..."

"Mmm." Noddin', Genkan turns ahead. "We need to find the kitchen. This- place has those, yes?"

Hoh. "Yeah, yo. A whole dinin' room, fer dining, and winin'... and whining!"

How the hell do we get outta this hallway. Wait, I think it actually ends up ahead…

After we walk an uncomfortably long time across this big empty marble corridor, enough for the novelty of the cool windows and pristine leather furniture to slightly pass, we come to a-... stair-... well?

Nevermind, this ain't a stairwell. It's a big room with-... with fuckin' random platforms just sittin', juttin' out of the wall.

"Um." Maria looks up along the grey walls of this big, marble-like room. "What?"

"...What the hell kinda room is this!?" I voice my concern! "This fer acoustics 'er some shit…!?"

"Aa- acoustics…?" Genkan grins at my guess!

It's-... wait.

This is a jumping puzzle. This place has those? Wh- you can fly, what's the point…!? Actually. Since you can fly, they're not really a health and safety hazard, are they…? I know if I could fly, I'd line my house with jumping puzzles…

The platforms make a spiral up to another hallway entrance at the top. S'literally just the world's most inconvenient stairwell.

"Hup!" I jump- "Hhn!" -and jump again, jeez-

Fwish! "Nn- hu~!" -and then do my other two jumps, fairy wings bloomin' out behind me fer a moment.

Nnh! I just- barely manage to cling onto this one platform. It's stupid high up, for some reason!

"Oh."

Cli- click! Oh- Jesus! I nearly jump outta my skin!

Sakuya lands on the platform I'm trying to climb onto, loudly and with force! That noise was her heels meeting the stone.

Click! Before I can look right the fuck up her skirt, she's already gone.

She's on the ground below, in fronta' the girls. "I see you've found one of my frequent resting places." Wh- one of your resting places. What're you, a bird…!?

Also... ya rest in a big empty marble hallway. You know-... that actually makes some sense. That's Sakuya, alright…!

"Resting places?" Genkan also finds that a bit weird! "...You sleep in a hallway?"

Sakuya snorts. "...While I could, considering the furnishings, I do have a proper bedroom." You do? You sleep? "I simply come here often to appreciate the aesthetic. It might come as a surprise, but I do enjoy things in my… spare time, so to speak." Pft- freakin'... real funny!

"It- it doesn't look like anyone's been here." Maria contests!

...Sakuya hatches a small, smug smile. "People often say that, when I'm involved." Freakin'...! Must be the Christmas spirit. Sakuya's in some kind of a good mood…!

...Despite being able to quadruple jump, I feel immensely unsafe on this big stone platform. It's probably like, four meters off the ground. Wait, that's from the girls, so maybe more like, six. Genkan and Maria are kinda far down.

"We're trying to find food." Genkan delivers gingerly, making me want to nuzzle her.

"Aah." Sakuya nods. "Turn around." Whah.

...Genkan turns around.

This stairwell segment leads into the thinner hallway outside the kitchen's plain-but-unique backdoor. The boundary between this marble puzzle segment and the smaller hall is actually just like… generic wood planks, somehow. That's like some janky old level design shit…!

My heart leaps, when I jump down. "Hup!" Hoh shit- "Hoh." I double-jump before I snap my legs in two by landing too hard.

Cla- clack! Oo- ow. Landing… is always not fun!

Mystified, me, Maria an' Genkan just step on over the boundary of the hallway…

When we look back, the marble gallery jumping puzzle is gone, replaced by endless generic hallway. Sakuya's still standing exactly where she was, however. "The kitchen's through that green door. Past that is the dining room."

That's even harder hacks than usual, holy shit. It wasn't even subtle! This mansion is a creature of chaos, dude…! Maybe that's why I feel at home here!

"If we, say, wanted to find this place on our own…" Genkan poses a question! "How might we do that?"

...Sakuya tilts her head to the side. "Now that I think of it, I never did give Brad anything to navigate the mansion with. He never needed it." Yeah- I just kinda freakin', guessed, and kept gettin' slightly lucky apparently. I never wandered into Christian Church zone, or Sakuya's happy time zone.

"Did- did he not?" Genkan seems somewhat skeptical…!

"He was far more content being lost, than being found." Sakuya tries slightly too hard to sound witty…! But- she wasn't wrong, either. "Even if he was somewhat concerned and alarmed, for the first few days."

Oh, yeah, the many times I got nearly gangraped by admittedly hot fairy girls, and had to beat them off with a stock cast-iron plant hanger. I'll be the old man who's like, 'kids, back in my day, I had ta beat thots off wit' a cast-iron in a DOOM level'.

"If I remember right, I don't think any of you people helped!" I stare intently at Sakuya! "I'm pretty sure ya all just watched me get nearly raped…!"

Sakuya gave me the plainest look. "For the longest time, you were simply here to fill a… jester role, of sorts. You see, while rare, we do lure… people in, to evaluate them, I suppose. You were quite a unique case, and the mistress was quite entertained by you. That, and the fairies really can't get enough of you. Even after the fairy-related incidents end, they always seem to get excited around you."

Yeah, gee, I wonder. I got a feeling I actually know why that happens now. S'a bit late to become the fairy gigolo, however.

"Do fairies get STDs?" I stroke my chin!

"Tha- that's your first question." Sakuya- wahaha! "After everything I just said, that's your first question…?"

I give her an exaggerated shrug! "Well-...!" Hol' up, didn't Eientei cure STDs? I mean, fairies might be a bit inconsistent to treat, weird immortality and everything. Maybe they got magic nature AIDs, I dunno…!

"No, they don't." Sakuya answers plainly! Well, okay…!

"Wh- why not?" Maria wants to know more!

...Sakuya seems surprised by her existence, before goin' on to answer her. "They don't share biology with humans to a significant capacity. While the organs would be there if you cut one open, blood doesn't flow through their veins. While mana-related ailments can tackle them, and in rare cases, momentary cold-like symptoms, the common fairy is immune to disease." Hoh.

I assume the exceptions are like… fairies of disease. Just 'cause, yeah.

"Is the STD fairy immune to STDs." I must know.

Sakuya pans to Genkan. "Remind me how you fell in love with this man?" Wahaha!

Genkan looks put on the spot! "...Wh- why. I mean-... yes?" Aw, she was taken completely off-guard.

Before Sakuya could grin at her befuddlement, Maria presses! "Do disease fairies actually exist?"

...Sakuya nods, after some thought! "Yes. They are rare, and often ostracized for good reason, but yes." Ooh. Yeah- don't let a black plague fairy rape me, please. I like my dick attached to my pelvis…!

She goes on ta tell us more. "They're mostly held under lock-and-key by Eientei. Similar variants- disease-based youkai, like a certain spider in the well-known hell tunnel, among others- get by thanks to exercising a modicum of intelligence and control. Fairies have never been known for either of those."

That does make a lotta sense. She must mean Yamame, that cave spider of doom.

"Disease youkai understand that they'd be killed if they do anything notably stupid, like spreading massive plagues." Sakuya finishes her lore time. "You can't exactly threaten a fairy with that." ...Hoh.

"But, you can." Ha-chan contests the chief! "It hurts!"

Sakuya gives her a flat look. "Being in pain wouldn't stop them from poisoning or infecting everybody. The point is to stop them from hurting people, not reprimanding the fairies themselves. It's pointless to try."

...Ha-chan looks more snuggly about this. "But, did anyone ever ask them to stop?"

Sakuya blinks. "Yes."

...Ha-chan opens her mouth-

"Before you ask, no, they didn't proceed to stop." Sakuya shuts her down…! "They just kept poisoning people. The ones perhaps theorized to be freed, then continued to poison people, and-... you see, right? A fairy can't be truly taught or disciplined."

Ha-chan stepped closer to her. "Fairies- can learn."

Sakuya raised a brow at her.

...Lookin' back at the rest of us, Ha-chan stepped back behind us again. "Mmnh…" An' now she looks all nervous. This feels… foreign.

Sakuya moved for the green kitchen door. "That said, it's probably about time I feed myself as well." Of course ya don't just 'eat too'. You gotta 'feed yourself, as well'.

"Me feed me." I critique her in an esoteric manner…!

"Feed." Maria repeats the word, 'cause it sounds fun!

"Feed." Ha-chan joins in, too!

"Feed…" Genkan only echoes it 'cause literally everyone else said it for no reason!

I step inta the door, and Genkan steps into it with me.

Sakuya stands in our way, her arms folded, leavin' me and Genkan stuck just inside the kitchen. Wh- why.

"Surprise." Sakuya monotoned. "Mistletoe." Wh-...

I look up, and on the inside of the doorframe is a mistletoe. It's a missile son, look out.

...Genkan sights it! But, she doesn't seem ta know what it is.

"Well?" Sakuya keeps blocking the way…!

...Genkan still looks clueless!

Sakuya catches on quick. "You don't know what a mistletoe is, do you."

"It's- that cute little plant, right?" Genkan addresses it awkwardly! "I saw it. What about it?"

"When you and someone cross paths under the mistletoe, you're supposed to kiss." Sakuya attempts to tease us…! Wait- she's kinda cheating, we both used the same door to go in. By this logic, we'd all be having a group makeout session!

"Alright, I see what's goin' on here!" I rumble up ta Sakuya!

When she leans back 'cause I got uncomfortably close, I hold up finger! "Ha-chan and Sakuya gotta kiss!" Phew…! Can ya imagine if I tried it on Sakuya!? I dunno who'd even kick my ass over that, but I can assure you, my ass would be empty by the end of it...!

"Wh-" Sakuya narrows her eyes! "Nnh. Then, we'll do this the hard way." Uh oh. "In order for you to be let in here… Genkan, yes? You must let Brad kiss you." Sakuya, why.

Genkan snorts, too! "This- is relevant… how?"

"You love him, yes?" Sakuya…! "You should have no qualms, then. Consider it a test of love." Why do we need a test of love to enter a freakin' kitchen…!? "Holiday spirit check." Oh- aw, there we go, now it makes perfect sense. We gotta make out to show our holiday spirit, dude.

Lookin' intimidated, Genkan compacts slightly. "But-... you, nhh." Then, she looks over at me.

I give 'er a shrug, an' a smile. I mean, s'a good excuse as any. The real trickiness is we're both tryin' really hard to be wholesome and not keep gropin' the shit out of eachother…!

So, I just step on up to her. I dunno how to describe it to like, anyone other than myself, but her face is so damn cute. Somethin' about the like, whole composition, combined with her black hair, that just like-... it works fer me!

Y'know what they say, a picture's worth a thousand words. An' I don't have a picture, so you're gettin' a thousand words…!

And- I'd keep rambling about the minute details of how cute and also hot she is- but then she goes ahead and steps closer.

It's a slow movement, but she just slowly steps up into me, and our lips press together. Before the force of her pushin' into me could move me, her arms wrap around me.

"Nh-" I'm kinda surprised at first 'cause holy shit.

Tilting her face to the opposite side, she presses her lips against mine again, hugging me in tighter. It's a simple kiss, more cuddly than it is anything else.

Although, like this, even comfort sets me off, and just-... I- I'm glad I'm in my kimono now, 'cause getting hugged turned me on instantly.

Still hugging me, Genkan looks back at Sakuya. "Good enough?" I can feel her voice through her poofy chest, as it presses against mine.

Something about a hug… man, that's another one of those feelings you can't just describe so easily. What do ya say? I want it to last longer…!

Sakuya just seems disbelieving! "...I-... I guess so." Woohoo!

While I'm grinnin' over at her, I notice Genkan look back at me.

"Nn- nnh." She hugs me really tightly. Her body feels so freaking soft, even through all these clothes, fuck…

I'm somehow like, multiple degrees more tired when I'm released! Getting molested gets me comfy, holy shit…

"That's too much Christmas spirit." Sakuya backs away from us, further into the kitchen…! "On that note… I'm open to requests. For food, that is. Softcore eroticism is over."

Aw. Food, huh.

...Genkan's only half-released me, smiling at me with a somewhat rosy face as she holds onto me with her left arm.

In this most joyous moment, I give Sakuya a healthy smile. "...I wanna number nine. A number nine large. A number six, wit' extra dip-"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 101

NEW ITEMS (BRAD):

Fragment of the Antichrist - A chunky bit of platinum cross, which emanates an uneasy, queasy aura. Parts holy an' dark.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

25 k word whopper of a chapter

this chapter went like twenty different places because of it being a follow-up to a certain notable chapter…!

it didn't quite completely carry the sorta dismal end-note of the last batch ender, but that doesn't mean we've seen the last of its impacts! notably, in this chapter genkan was noticeably more drawn to brad…!

next chapter opens some good opportunities though, an' bein' so close to christmas also opens some GOOD OPPORTUNITIES DUDE

i have no idea how much that bath scene pushed the rating but IT'S PROBABLY FINE, everything's talked about in totally vague ideas i'm sure

also no they didn't have sex, maria would be freakin' the hell out if they DID (and ALSO HANA)

lookin' forward to some of the ideas i wanna push in the next couple chapters, 'cause i got some BIG PLANS

hoh honh honh honh

also the biomes and other random geometry were kinda things i always wanted to shove into the SDM but both tone, pace and lack of writing skill didn't really allow me

here, i feel like they add a lot to the sdm, and whenever i talk about it or hear others talk about it, they're just like "man aside from the characters the sdm is boring, wtf can you even do with it" and really, the formula's kinda what you make of it

i just always thought it narrowminded 'cause like… now i'm getting to feel like the sdm can be a place that fosters both serious and nonserious tropes and tones in a healthy balance (akin to pretty much every place in touhou), and with that, one can craft various architectural settings and situations if they're clever enough

[strikethrough tag which doesn't exist on ff net] also castlevania biomes / castle wings are really cool setpieces which work well for, if not the biomes themselves, architectural inspiration [end strikethrough]

and with these setpieces you can just kinda wing a backstory and a function for the wing really, really easily and then revisit it for fun times later (or let it rest underneath manipulatable mystery dungeon RNG if you don't need it)

y'see that's the thing about these big maze dungeon structures, the characters might not know where they're going, but that doesn't mean the author can't make a coherent progression outta the journey

that said the mall biome introduced here is probably an obvious implication that we're gonna be seeing that place again soon…!

i dunno maybe my idea synthesis and on-the-spot decision making is just really, really integrated into instinct by this point, 'cause i feel like a lot of my statements about stringing concepts together end up boiling down to "just execute it well dude it's not that deep"

IT'S ALSO 4:40 AM AND I'M MELTIN SON

anyway i guess the point i'm gettin' at is that the sdm has a huge amount of potential and variety to its environment that… may not be really easy to approach at first, but i always felt like it was there, and i'm feeling like just now i'm getting to show off pieces of it that like, were always there, and concepts i always associated with it that i don't think earlier chapters got across fully

i could also say that the same charisma exists in a lot of touhou's "biomes" or little clique-y settings

also man, the conversation at even the start of the chapter feels like awhile ago…! but now that i think about it in reference to the bath scene, and the really serene morning colors compared to the mansion crawling, there's some ironically good synergy there...

i should probably SLEEP...

as always, see you all next time!