-italics between dashes- thoughts.
"italics between quotes" telepathic words.
Ani - A term to refer to one's older brother when not addressing him in person to close family members.
Chapter 17 - Telling Mom and Dad Part 2
"He died."
At hearing those words, uttered by so rare a voice, Kurumi felt a jolt of raw electricity coursed through her, rearranging her brain, her memories, her insides. Her heart began to race uncomfortably. The unperturbable calm that she always felt when she thought of her big baby seemed to recede, revealing the jagged edges of tumultuous unrest that rose like a volcanic eruption, molten rock burning and destroying everything in its path.
She sat up, retracting her arms and hands from Kusuo. She rubbed an inexplicable wet spot on the back of her hand. It was warm. She looked to her younger son with a confounded look. "Ku-chan?" was all she could say.
Risa looked at Kusuo, surprised. "What? You mean that's the 'important thing?'"
Kuniharu frowned. He did not seem like he quite believed what Kusuo had just said. "You're joking, right? You mean that he's just 'dead to you?' One of his pranks finally gone overboard."
-I wish desperately that is the case,- thought Kusuo.
The words were out, but Kusuo still felt tense.
Judging by his parents' response, they did not believe him.
Yet.
Kusuo understood and expected that reaction. His own reaction was no different. He had been there, saw the irrefutable proof, verified it, felt so flustered by event and its ramifications that he could only sit dumbly for hours afterward, trying and failing to get his body, his emotions, to obey him. Once he was able to get some semblance of bodily control, he tried to bring Kuusuke back. Each failure, every inexplicable stab in his heart, only made Kusuo tell himself that he was in a bad dream. This world could not be so cruel. He begged whatever more powerful being out there, whatever being who so cursed him, to allow him to wake up.
Except, there was no waking up from reality.
"Ani, Saiki Kuusuke, passed away," Kusuo said again, louder this time, more firmly. "He was nineteen."
There was about half a minute of uncomfortable silence.
"But, Ku-chan," Kurumi called, her voice quivered. "We've just sung him a happy 20th birthday."
Kusuo refused to meet her eyes.
"Ku-chan," Kurumi called again, this time, with barely concealed urgency in her voice. "You were in the video, you..." her hands flew to her mouth as she gasped. She recalled some of the details of that morning. She thought of how Kusuo had forcefully told her 'no' when she suggested calling Kuusuke to come visit since Kusuo looked sick to her for almost 24 hours. Then she thought back to Kuusuke's uncharacteristic silence the day before that, and how he had not responded to her for days. "What are you saying, Ku-chan?"
Kusuo didn't know what more he could say. He thought his words were clear enough. He was not about to repeat them again.
"Kuusuke was gone before the 16th. That's what you're saying," Kuniharu said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
Kuniharu recalled some of the details of the day. Kusuo's general disrespectfulness that Kuniharu had attributed to Kusuo being a dour, dramatic, unpleasant psychic teenager. Growing pains, as society would liked to call it. Kuniharu endured his son's irreverent attitude, jocularly. That was part of the job of being a father, to be patient with his children's, especially sons', know-it-all incivility and smooth the transition into unforgiving adulthood.
"It must've happened almost midnight," Kuniharu continued, "After we got back from checking in on grandpa Kumagoro. It's why you looked like you've been up all night. That's why you looked so ill when Mama asked you to light those candles."
This time, it was Kurumi who started to shake when she realized one very important detail of that hurried, last minute, idea to bring cheer to her big baby. "Ku-chan...You never lit the 20th candle, did you?"
Kusuo shook his head.
He barely recalled lighting the candles. His body was on autopilot because he was used to doing whatever his mother asked out of love for her. In his head, the images of fire, ash and embers kept on replaying. Just lighting the candles one by one felt like he was one who turned Kuusuke into embers.
The event had affected him more than he thought possible. He hated Kuusuke, didn't he? Even now, Kusuo felt unmitigated fury at the newly discovered falsehoods. If Kuusuke was here, Kusuo would have kicked him in the head.
-Ha. Another goddamn lie,- realized Kusuo.
Kusuo considered his natural strength, even without the psychic ability, how he could easily kill a person and how careful he had always been with it. He rarely used it, unless it was Toritsuka trying to annoy him into doing a favor or a random delinquent stupid enough to try to shake him for stuff without witnesses. In those situations, Kusuo made sure that he was well controlled.
For Kuusuke, though, a self-described normal person, Kusuo gave no second thoughts to violence. Even the first time he saw Kuusuke in four years, when Kuusuke suggested a challenge, Kusuo's first thought was some sort of physical match up.
Going further back in time, a logical contradiction popped up.
In all the fistfights they had growing up, how in the world did Kusuo never recall ever using restoration on Kuusuke even once until the day of the fire? Kusuo was physically far stronger, that was certain, and could best Kuusuke any day. Kusuo clearly remembered making Kuusuke curl up into a ball on the ground from pain.
Had Kusuo always been so controlled that he never hurt Kuusuke to the point of Kuusuke needing restoration? Had he never had an accident with his strength when it came to Kuusuke?
Just thinking about made him want to break something.
"Why didn't you say something then?" asked Kuniharu gently, pulling Kusuo out of a reverie.
Kusuo hugged himself, putting a hand just below his throat, as if he could stop his heart thudding so hard. "I thought I could bring him back."
Risa, who had been silent the entire time, tilted her head at that. "You can bring back the dead?"
Kusuo shook his head. "No. Not directly. I'd have to change time."
This time, it was Risa who furrowed her brows. She had never heard of anyone with temporal abilities.
"I honestly thought that I could him back," continued Kusuoe with eyes closed. "I had saved the planet so many times. I thought it should be easy to bring him back. It's just one life, one fate. I had tried and tried and tried. I risked the butterfly effects and in no timeline did he ever make it past his 20th June 16th." Kusuo paused and hook shake his head again. "Until today, I didn't understand that he had flashed over and how immutable it is once it happened."
The family went silent at the implication of what Kusuo said, particularly of flashover. It did not take them long to connect the dots.
"If he flashed over, then that would mean that he was an esper," Risa stated. "How do you know for sure that's what it was even a flashover? You've never witnessed one."
"But I have."
"Though what?"
"The germanium ring," said Kusuo. "via psychometry."
Risa's facial expression turned into one of horrified amazement.
"At first, I thought I was confused when I saw the ring's memories," said Kusuo. "I thought it was just my mind, still replaying what I saw days earlier. Then I came to realize the manner of passing among Ani, Miha and Kasei's were the same." Kusuo shook his head again for far too many times today. "When I found Ani, he was already an ashen char. I tried restoration and it seemed to work. But as soon I thought it worked, he just disintegrated into embers. There was nothing left. It's like you've said. Flashovers do not leave bodies."
Risa seemed to take in the explanation. "But if your older brother was an esper, then what were his abilities?" she pressed. "How are you even sure he was an esper?"
"He must be some sort of telepathy type of esper," Kusuo said, after a brief moment in thought. "A very strong one, he definitely has some sort of mind control and hypnosis. It's not the same as mine, but definitely a form of it that has the same effect." There was a pause. "But this is all conjecture and he can't be here to verify any of it. I only have circumstantial evidence to go on. It's the only thing that explains so much of all the logical fallacies that never caught my attention until now."
"Like what?" asked Risa.
This time, Kusuo looked to his parents. There was one question that had been plaguing him since he considered the evidence.
There was a dark shadow over Kuniharu's and Kurumi's faces.
"Why was I never seen by a doctor for what I am?" asked Kusuo.
"What are you talking about?" Kuniharu was the one who spoke up. He looked uncomfortable.
Kurumi looked positively frightened.
"Ani spoke in full sentences by the time he was a month old. He predicted the ending of stories that you've read to him. He never cried. He was never angry." As if to demonstrate their difference, Kusuo switched to telepathy. "I've talked to you with my mind at two weeks. Levitated and walked in the air by one month. But you seemed to take it in stride. Why the difference? Why was Ani examined and I was not? When it's obvious that I was even more unusual than him. Did he convince you not to do so? Was your acceptance of my nature even real?"
At that question, Kurumi and Kuniharu looked at each other.
"Well, there's some truth to that," began Kuniharu.
Surprisingly, to Kusuo, Kurumi spoke up to her husband. "Kuniharu. No..."
Kuniharu looked to his wife with oddly sad and guilty eyes. "Kusuo deserves to know."
"But...Ku-kun says it's not a big deal," Kurumi said, half begging.
"Kuusuke thinks everything is not a big deal," said Kuniharu. "And it's not like Kusuo doesn't know the facts. He just doesn't know the context."
"What don't I know the context of?" asked Kusuo.
"Kusuo, you can read our thoughts. In all our memories, I'm sure you've noticed that Kuusuke wasn't around a lot, particularly when you were younger."
Kusuo thought about it. That was one of the things he had ignored and now come to find the fact unusual. He did consider, earlier, how he lived a strangely single-child life, despite being only two years younger than Kuusuke.
Inexplicably, tears started to form at the corner of Kurumi's eyes.
"You see, we did take him to be tested. The primary reason for that was, well, you know how Kuusuke sometimes says and does very," Kuniharu paused to search for the right words, "disturbing things."
Kusuo blinked at that. This had to be the first time his parents acknowledged Kuusuke's obvious mental derangements. His parents never reproached Kuusuke either, seemingly ignoring Kuusuke's rather direct tendencies.
"Like you, he can always tell what people were thinking, but different from you, Kusuo," admitted Kuniharu. "It was like he stared into your soul instead of your mind. It's not like how most people would be thinking one thing and saying the other. It's more like, he understood people's motivations, and what scares them the most. While he was always sweet, sometimes snarky, and all smiles with us, he terrified everyone else."
"When we got him looked at, the doctors told us that he's extremely intelligent, but he's also schizophrenic, bi-polar, compulsive, hallucinatory and a whole list of psychological illnesses. They told us that he'll be uncontrollable, destructive, sociopathic, and a menace to society before long, unless he's in therapy to better socialize him. We didn't have money for therapy, so they've asked us if we wanted him to participate in some sort of medical trial and they would even pay us. They will provide therapy as needed to prevent this future where he becomes a criminal or worse. All they wanted, in exchange, was access to him." Kuniharu paused for a moment. "We were twenty-one, twenty years old, really no money, with you on the way. We didn't know any better. So we've said yes to them."
"What are you not saying?" asked Kusuo.
"They took him," said Kuniharu. "Right before he turned two-years-old."
Risa looked disturbed at this. "Why didn't you tell me, Kuniharu?"
"We were ashamed. Because you were right. It was folly to start a family so early. We were struggling to get by. Kurumi's parents had to send us money. You are a proud woman doctor in a society and profession dominated by men and its jealousies. It's one of the reasons for the estrangement. You were bound by that one income. We have no other family to help us. Dad just died. You cannot afford to have the stigma of your son asking you for money because of life choices. The hospital would've ousted you for any blemish."
Risa frowned deeply at this reasoning. Not so much that her son did not come to her for assistance in time of need, but more because her son was right.
Kurumi sniffed. She grabbed hold of a tissue and dabbed her eyes. "Ku-kun knew it was going to happen, too. He told us not to worry or think about him before they came. He got into a car and just left."
Kusuo's expression was one of mild confoundment. The whole sequence sounded like Kuusuke's style of 'disappear without warning for a while.' But to be in the care of strangers at two-years-old? Even that sounded far-fetched.
"Kuusuke didn't come back until he was about three-year-old," Kuniharu was saying. "He rang the doorbell, we let him in. He had gotten older, and life went on as if he had always been here except that he stopped scaring people as a default. He never told us where he went, what happened during that year. When we asked, he would only say that he 'took care of them.' And he continued with his disappearing habits, sometimes not coming back for days. Whatever he was doing, it mostly stopped by the time he was in second grade and completely stopped by the time he was in fourth grade."
"And you weren't worried?" asked Kusuo, not sure he was hearing correctly. Kuusuke was capable. But would his parents be so negligent as to be not concerned? His parents called the cops when Kusuo, himself, took hide and seek too far and went missing. That had been five hours. His older brother was missing for an entire year. How in the world had his parents not worried themselves sick?
"It's Kuusuke," said Kuniharu, as if that explained it all. "Would you worry about him?"
Kusuo barely considered the question. "No."
"Kuusuke was never bothered by it, at least not outwardly," Kuniharu continued. "But he was adamant that you should never be seen by a professional. So, yes. You're right, Kusuo. One of the reasons why we never took you to be seen was because he told us not to. But we were not about to risk having you taken away from us, either."
Risa had listened to all of this with a thoughtful gaze. The part where Kuniharu described what happened to their eldest son at the tender age of two, and its seemingly zero effects. "None of this confirmed that he had telepathy," she noted. "And it might suggest that he was prescient?"
"Maybe. Ani was naturally very smart," said Kusuo. "It was never been a stretch for him to guess people's thoughts or predict the future and be correct. It's like saying that you think the sun will rise tomorrow and it happens. Is that an ESP premonition? Or just being a normal, reasonable human being. Some of things he did were inexplicable but was it telepathy? If so, I should've picked that up." Kusuo stared at his father for a moment, thinking through his father's earlier words. "And I've finally figured out why I never did. Ani saw thoughts," said Kusuo, as if it explained it all.
"What do you mean?" said Risa.
"I hear thoughts. He sees thoughts. It's why he always knew what I was thinking, but always had to put it into words. It's why I've never picked it up on the fact that he had telepathy. It's why dad says he saw into the soul. It's why they thought he was schizophrenic. It's why even with the telepathy canceler, it stopped the listening, but never the seeing. It's why his mind control is so pervasive, so undetectable. It's because he sent out images, instead of words," Kusuo snorted and huffed a little. "I think I'm going to be sick." Immediately after that, Kusuo shook his head. "But it's a moot point, anyway. Knowing all of this doesn't fix my current problem."
Kusuo's thought process must had been too quick because three pairs of eyes looked at him curiously, as if not understanding. It seemed that they still thought the news of Kuusuke's passing as an intellectual exercise. They believed it, but the truth of the fact had not hit them yet.
"Ku-chan," Kurumi tugged on her son's sleeve. Her face was flushed, and it looked like she was trying to keep whatever emotional outburst from happening. "What do you mean by that?"
Kusuo sighed. It was probably a good thing that his parents were so oblivious. Whether it was due to their take-it-as-you-go nature, or some sort of influence by Kuusuke, it was impossible to know, now. Given what had occurred recently, Kusuo was determined that he would not be like Kuusuke and deliberately keep his parents in the dark. He was not going to be like that asshole who left so many loose ends without explanation.
"If what Grandmother Risa said is true, then I am not supposed to be here," said Kusuo. "The limiters had somehow prevented me from flashing over years ago. It's likely serving the same function now." Kusuo looked to Risa. "You've already seen what was happening earlier because I wasn't wearing them."
"Yes. You were burning," said Risa. "A foreshadowing of flashover. But you've said those devices, those 'limiters' as you've called it, keep it under control."
Kusuo took a moment to prop his elbow on the table, and hold his head as if experiencing a headache. "Limiters can break. And because of my carelessness, I've accidentally destroyed all my spare ones."
Kuniharu and Kurumi both gasped.
"Oh, no! Ku-chan!" was all Kurumi could say.
Kuniharu stood up, almost knocking over his hair. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"I don't understand," said Risa.
Kusuo took a breath and sat up. He wrung his hands nervously. He had already told Risa once but the reasoning was probably lost on her by the details of the evening. "Ani made my limiters."
Now it was Risa who gasped. "Kusuo-kun, you're saying that if your current limiters break now..." Risa did not complete the sentence.
"Yeah," said Kusuo. He squinted his eyes shut as he swallowed hard. "It's an automatic death sentence."
