A/N: Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing
Further disclaimer: Any and all science things mentioned in this story is complete B.S. Really I'm just pulling big words out and hoping they fit.

Timeline notes: Bernadette is PG, this takes place right after The Fermentation Bifurcation. Leonard and Penny are married, Sheldon and Amy do break up but they don't have sex the next episode I've had this idea of Bernadette and Sheldon becoming friends. I haven't read many (if any) and i thought it would be fun to play with. This thing'll get pretty dark so major angst warning.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1.

Bernadette held tight to the bag of toast that Sheldon had given her as she slowly walked down the stairs. It was a nice gesture on his part and she did like toast but as a goodie bag it seemed a bit lacking but Bernadette wasn't going to argue. As she hit the 2nd floor landing and let out a breath she looked up at the tall man who insisted that he walk in front of her so he could break her fall if she tripped.

"Do you need a break?" Sheldon asked her, turning around. She gave him a brave smile and shook her head.

"No, I'm OK. Just a little winded." She waited for Sheldon to respond or start moving again but he just stared at her, his eyes a little glazed, obviously thinking of something. She couldn't help but be curious about what it was he was thinking of. She couldn't imagine the data that his brain could take in and compile in seconds or less to come up with things.

"Perhaps we should start having the dinners at your house." He suggested, suddenly coming back to life. Bernadette startled slightly at the sudden change in his demeanor but quickly shook it off. It wasn't the first time that's happened, and wouldn't be the last.

"I'm sorry, I blanked for a moment. What?" She replied to his suggestion, not sure she heard him correctly.

He motioned for her to start down the last flight of stairs as he repeated what he had said. "I suggested we start having the dinner get together we have at your house for the time being." He said stepping off the last stair. "It's obviously a laborious task for you to climb all these stairs. It's only going to become more difficult as you continue to gestate."

Bernadette inwardly cringed at the reference but chose to ignore it. If it was anyone else she would take them down until they cried for their mothers. Sheldon however was a different story. He was always a different story. Always an exception. It took her awhile when she first started to acclimate into this little group of nerdy friends to understand. Sheldon was rude and condescending and controlling amongst other detestable tributes. But she also saw the kind things, the kind words, the small gestures that displayed his southern raised mannerisms. It took her a while to realize he wasn't rude by choice, he was just stating what he observed.

"That's a nice suggestion Sheldon but I think we should keep it here." She told him, resisting the urge to pat his arm. "I know it makes you more comfortable and in any event walking up those stairs counts as exercise for me."

"You make a good point Bernadette." He replied, his eyes glazing slightly again for a second. "But you just have to be sure to go slow. Don't let Howard hurry you along. The last thing you need is an accident that could hurt both you and the baby."

"Don't worry Sheldon. I may be pregnant but I'm still confident I could kick the crap out of Howard if needed." Sheldon laughed, a real laugh not his gaspy laugh, startling her again but also delighting her making her smile become bigger. It was rare to get a sound like that from Sheldon. It was still soft but there was sound, and she couldn't help but smile at the sound.

They stood there in silence for a couple of beats, the conversation being concluded. It wasn't an awkward pause, but felt strangely comfortable and natural. Something she didn't think she'd ever feel with Sheldon. Before she could think more on it however her phone buzzed alerting her that Howard was in front to pick her up.

"Well that's my ride. Thank you for the good time Sheldon." She said and started walking to the door, the bag of toast tightly in her hand. As she pushed the door open to exit she paused again, and slowly turned towards him. He stood there perfectly straight with his hands clasped in front of him and a small smile on his face. "I mean it Sheldon. I really did have a great time. Maybe we can do this again sometime soon."

"I look forward to it." He said with a slight tip of his head. And with that she continued through the door to go home.

It took her a moment to get into the car and get comfortable with her seat belt. Being pregnant made just about everything you wouldn't have even thought about uncomfortable and irritating. When she was ready she turned to Howard and leaned over giving him a kiss. He gave a wide grin and pulled away from the curb.

"How was the wine tasting?" She asked a few minutes into the drive. "It was awesome. Zack was there and asking all these questions about Raj and his 'casual' dating of Claire. He yelled at Penny and Amy about telling her about all the other women he has, which they didn't tell her, but he did then. Suffice to say, Raj is no longer dancing the tango with two women." He laughed.

Bernadette sighed and shook her head at the situation. She liked Raj well enough but sometimes he was skeezier than some of the stories she'd heard about Howard. As they passed by some restaurants she remembered she had a bag of toast and immediately opened it and took a slice out. Howard glanced over at her with furrowed brows as watched her chow down on toast with...is that a cylon?

"What's with the toast?" He asked, confused.

Bernadette shrugged and shoved more into her mouth, grabbing another slice. "Sheldon was teaching me about the different types of toast there were and gave me a goody bag to take home. Want a slice?" She asked, offering the bag. He shook his head as he made a right hand turn.

"No thank you." He told her. "So, uh, how was your time with Sheldon this evening? On a scale of one to ten how close were you to doing what we've all joked about doing, and finally take him out?"

Bernadette lowered the toast she was consuming and glared over at her husband, though thinking about the answer at the same time. To her surprise she couldn't think of a single moment where she wanted to bash his brains in. Sheldon had been kind and considerate to her, making sure she was comfortable and fed. Though the lecture on toast and trains were not something she'd want to repeat again, she would happily trample through another evening of Dungeons and Dragons with him. And she will never ever admit that to anyone.

"It was good. I had a good time." She told him honestly.

"Sweety, it's me, you can tell me the truth. You're talking to the guy who almost shoved an ice pick through his brain when we were in the arctic."

Bernadette glared again at her husband at the reference to the failed expedition to the Arctic. She didn't know them yet when it happened but hearing what they did and how unapologetic they were still pissed her off. She had no idea how Sheldon could forgive them for that stunt.

They pulled up to their house and Howard stopped the car and looked over at his wife, seeing her glare. "Ok, what did he do?" He sighed, no doubt going through scenarios and how he can calm her. She just shook her head and got out of the car. "Oh this is bad." She heard him mutter as he also exited the vehicle.

Bernadette quickly turned around to him and poked him hard in the chest. "Why do you always think the worst of Sheldon?" She turned again and headed for the door, only stopping to dig for her keys. "I said I had a good time and I mean it. It was like he's a totally different person when you guys aren't there to antagonize him."

Finally getting the door unlocked she marched into the living room and took her bag off so she could plop comfortably on to the sofa. She leaned her head back against the sofa cushion and sighed, feeling tired. She could just sleep right where she was.

"I'm sorry but what do you mean by us guys antagonizing him?" Howard sputtered out. She popped her eyes open and went to facepalm herself only to realize she still held the bag of toast and there were a few pieces left. Hungrily she reached in and grabbed one. "And seriously there's nothing on that toast! It's just dry. How are you eating it?"

"What can I say, Sheldon makes some great toast." Howard scoffed and walked towards the kitchen. "Can you bring me some ice cream?" She shouted after him.

She laid her head back again, feeling exhaustion seep in. All she wanted to do was go upstairs, get in some comfortable soft pajamas and fall asleep and not wake up or move until she was forced to go to work on Monday. 'But first my ice cream.' She thought, sitting up to get ready to shout at Howard only to stop when her phone started ringing.

Looking down at the small device on her lap she could see that it was Amy. She probably wanted to check up on Bernadette after spending an evening with her boyfriend and probably a little frantic believing Bernadette would no longer be her friend afterward.

"Hey Amy." She answered as Howard walked back into the room with two bowls of chocolate ice cream, delighting her by giving her the bowl with extra scoops.

"Hi Bernadette. So what do I need to apologize for on behalf of Sheldon?" The other woman asked, sounding slightly exasperated. If anyone knew how exhausting Sheldon could be it was Amy. It frequently amazed her how the wallflower scientist could put up with so much.

"Nothing." Bernadette replied, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"Nothing? That doesn't sound right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look, I love Sheldon, but even I know how off putting he can be."

Bernadette sighed as she continued eating, wondering if this has always been how it has been. Then wondering why she was suddenly Has the group constantly ragged on Sheldon and she just now woke up and noticed? "Be that as it may Amy, it was a good evening. I had a nice time hanging out with Sheldon.

"Yeah right." Howard scoffed beside her. She glared at him.

"I don't know, a lecture on toast, trains, and then some dungeons and dragons? I've been there, it was anything but nice." Amy said

"Well regardless I had a nice time. Sheldon was a gracious host and you have nothing to apologize for in regards to him."

Amy was silent for a few beats, and Bernadette wondered if she hung up. "Well ok, if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"Alright then. I'll see you Thursday at girls' night?"

"Some girls' night. You guys get the joy of being intoxicated while I have to stay sober."

"Well as you're new friend Sheldon would say, that's what you get for having sex with Howard." Amy replied with a soft snort. Bernedette furrowed as she noticed it sounded rude and inappropriate coming from Amy but knowing if Sheldon had actually said it, which certainly would and has before, it didn't bother her. This though, Amy saying it was pissing her off.

"Alright well i'll see you tomorrow then." And with that Bernadette hung up the phone. Putting it down on the couch between her and Howard she grabbed the pillow next to her and swatted him.

"Wha…."

"Shut up."

"She said everything was fine." Amy told Penny as she placed her phone down on the counter in Penny's apartment.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound right." Penny replied, echoing Amy's earlier statement to Bernadette. "I mean, he gave her a lecture on toast. TOAST! I've sat through that lecture."

"As have I. Multiple times to my dismay. I felt it was a little interesting the first time, but after that, enough was enough."

"And don't even get me started on the trains. I swear one of these days I'm going to stick one of those trains so far up his ass he sure won't like them anymore." Penny continued, taking another drink of wine.

"Well you don't need to go that far." Amy said. "Usually just yelling at him to stop talking about trains will do the trick."

"What did Sheldon say about tonight with Bernadette?"

"We didn't arrive here till 9:12."

"Ah, past his bedtime." They both sat there nodding. The silence was comfortable as they both sat down on the sofa and got lost in their own thoughts for a moment. Amy reflected on how far she'd come. Here she was, sitting in a beautiful woman's apartment, who is her best friend drinking wine. And just across the way from where she currently sat drinking, was her boyfriend. She had a boyfriend. Amy Farrah Fowler had a best friend and a boyfriend. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever envisioned any of her currently. If it were a dream, she didn't want to wake up.

That's not to say though there wasn't room for improvement though. Mostly on the part of said boyfriend. Their relationship had been slow as dictated by Sheldon. She would never admit it but she was glad for it as well. She was frequently overwhelmed with feelings and insecurities in regards to dating, as she'd never done it before in this capacity. But as time passed by and she found herself wanting the intimacy that a physical relationship would create. And she wanted it to be with Sheldon. But she didn't even know if Sheldon thought about it or if he even wanted it.

It was something she had put and still needs to put into serious consideration. She loved Sheldon, but could she remain with a man forever who will never fulfill all her needs? During the breakup she had been amazed and flattered that there were other men out there who would find her attractive and want to go out. Any one of them could have filled her longing for a physical relationship and a normal relationship.

But then they wouldn't be Sheldon. They wouldn't be as smart as they are. They would eventually bore her by not understanding what she was saying or doing. She did have a relationship of the mind with Sheldon and she loved it. His was the most beautiful mind she'd ever encountered

"I wonder what it feels like to be her. To have something in you that's growing. That's attached to you like a parasite." Penny said, breaking Amy out of her thoughts.

"I mean, the fetus does mimic some characteristics of a parasite but I'm given to believe that most women do not appreciate having their unborn fetus called that."

"So don't call Bernadette's baby a parasite to her face?"

"I wouldn't. You've seen how mean she can get." Amy watched her best friend give a nod of agreement before turning her attention back to staring into space. She got the feeling that something was going on with her friend but didn't want to push her. She read from a book that Sheldon had lent her that people will give information on their own time and being pushed into it is what had made all those past people she's spoken to angry in the past. She had never known when to just stop.

The silence stretched on, the only sound being their breathing and sips of their drink. Amy let her mind wander a bit more, thinking on what she was to do for the weekend. She had some work she needed to get through before she could advance the study she was working on and would likely spend the majority of her weekend doing that unless something else came up. She thought about texting Sheldon but looking at the clock saying 1030, he was likely already asleep.

"Have you thought about having a baby?" Penny asked softly, breaking the silence. Amy cocked her head to the side thinking of what to say. She did think about it, more and more. But her prospects seem to still be dwindling.

"I used to not. Before I met you guys. When I was a kid I would think about it, and play it out. I would imagine I had a brilliant husband who loved me more than anything except the child I was carrying." She paused, biting her lips and trying not to cry at the sad pathetic girl she was and her dreams. "I gave up on that fantasy for a very long time. And then a match came up on a dating website and this wonderful man was forced into answering it and it's been coming back bit by bit."

Penny gave a little sniff and wiped her eyes. It made Amy feel a little guilty. She didn't want to make her friend cry. "Well, I don't know about 'wonderful' but I'm glad you met Sheldon. And I'm glad you came into this little nerdy group of friends." Penny told her. Amy just smiled at her, and her heart beat happily at the kind words. She'd never felt more included till now.

"What's brought all this up?" Amy asked, turning the conversation away from her. Penny gave an exhausted sight and reached to the table to grab the wine bottle. She filled her glass back up and poured more in Amy's though she had had enough for the night.

"It's Leonard. He's been wanting to have the baby talk ever since Bernadette got pregnant."

"Well, that's a logical conversation to have being married. Though I would think you should have that before you make your vows but that's just me." Amy rattled off taking another drink.

"I know, I know. He wanted to but I kept putting him off." She sighed again. "He's becoming more persistent.

"What is it about the conversation that you are avoiding? Do you not want to procreate with Leonard?" She asked her blonde friend.

Penny was silent, staring into her wine glass giving Amy the answer to the question without actually saying it out loud. She was taken aback for a moment, surprised at the revelation. She never considered that her friend would not want a child. The dream of being pregnant together, sharing the experience together, their kids becoming the best of friends, and maybe by some luck getting married to each other in the very distant future. She didn't know what to say to her friend.

"It's just, I never saw myself as being a mom." Penny said softly still. "Even growing up, I'd play house but we never had any children. My barbies never had children. I just never wanted them but Leonard does."

"And you're afraid to tell Leonard this?" This confused Amy. She didn't think there would be anything a married couple would be afraid to share with one another. She didn't think there was anything she would hide from Sheldon if they were to wed. Or even now. She can't think of any secret of hers that she would keep from Sheldon. She wondered if it were the same for him.

"Well...yeah. He wants kids, he's always wanted them. And he really should have them." Penny said exasperated. "This tiny homunculus has so much pent up love that's been shoved away from his neglective parents that if he didn't have Sheldon to release some of it he would burst."

Amy sat there stunned at her outburst. She wasn't exactly sure what to say to her friend. There was no easy solution. "First off, nice use and choice in the word 'homunculus."

"Thank you. Learned it from Sheldon"

"You're welcome. Second, how does Sheldon factor in?"

"You know how he is. He's a giant man child." She emptied her glass and topped off the bottle. "I'm surprised he was able to be on his own so long before Leonard."

"Shel-"

"I don't mean in a bad way Amy." She said exasperated. "I love that lanky praying mantis. When I worked at the Cheesecake Factory the other waitresses would say "Your Wackadoodle is here.' whenever he came in."

"Your?"

"Yeah, apparently somewhere along the lines of knowing him, he's become my Dr. Wackadoodle."

Amy furrowed her brow at that, not sure if it made sense and not really sure she likes another person claiming her boyfriend. Even if it was her best friend and it was in a platonic way. "Ok, we'll come back to that later. Third and final, what is it about the kids that puts you off? Is it getting pregnant? There's always adoption or surrogacy."

"I don't know Amy. I just...don't know."

"Alright, fair enough. But it sounds like you wont be able to avoid the subject for much longer. Crunch time has come and you need to have an answer for him. You have a lot of thinking and questions you need to answer yourself first. And with that, I must take my leave as it is getting late."

She stood from the couch and walked to the kitchen sink to rinse out her glass, noticing the pile of dishes. She was tempted to wash them first but fought her instinct. Penny was not a child.

"Are you sure you can drive? You can sleep here. Leonard and I can sleep in the other apartment and you can sleep here if you need." Penny asked. Amy smiled, her heart elated that she had someone who cared. It was a feeling she didn't think she'd ever get used to.

"Thank you Penny but I am fine. I will see you later." With that Amy grabbed her bag and left her friend sitting on the couch.

It was an interesting evening, she thought. Relationships of all kinds seemed to be changing at a rapid rate. She was pretty sure Raj would no longer be sleeping with two girls now that he outed himself. Penny didn't want children when Leonard clearly did, causing tension between the two. And then there was whatever happened that night with Sheldon and Bernadette. Her other friend seemed genuinely content with how the evening with Sheldon turned out. That just contradicted everything she knew about Sheldon.

"What is these people doing today." She muttered to herself as she started her car.

Sheldon had a smile on his face as he went through his bedtime routine that he just couldn't get rid of. He enjoyed his evening with Bernadette more than he thought he would. She was very kind and engaging, Even though Sheldon could tell that she was bored in the first half of their evening, she still participated. She asked questions without judgement. She seemed to have enjoyed herself by the end.

Putting on his plaid pajamas Sheldon couldn't help but compare Bernadette with Penny and Amy. He had never spent much time with her outside the group. He never had any interest in doing so. She chose Howard for her mate, and Sheldon believed full heartedly that she could have done much much better. Though he did enjoy and was proud of the way she would put Howard in his place by pointing out that she made more than him, thanks to a lovely little document called a Ph.D.

He enjoyed that she didn't make fun of his hobbies and make hurtful remarks about how he was wasting his time with mindless hobbies, or how trains are stupid and boring. Though he knew she had lots of practice pretending to be patient and interested. Again, she chose Howard.

He couldn't help but wish Amy could be more like that. They had a wonderful experience that one night while playing Dungeons and Dragons. And if Sheldon was honest with himself, he really wouldn't mind playing a few more rounds of it. But he never brought it knowing how Amy would react. He knew she wanted to start a more physical relationship, and he wanted it as well. But every time he tried to take that step forward, the past would flash in front of him. His eidetic memory would torture im by making him relive the experience, both physically and mentally.

Anxiety knotted in his chest and Sheldon sat down heavily onto his bed, gripping the blanket tightly in his fists as he closed his eyes and recited Pi. The anxiety he always felt when thinking of it made him dizzy and nauseated. The mere thought of the what had happened brought back the panic and fear. He could feel hands pawing at his skin again and he would feel unclean once more. He could feel the pain of every punch and kick as if it were happening now and instead of the two decades it had been.

After several minutes Sheldon was able to get control of his breathing back under control and he opened his eyes to the dimness of his room. He couldn't even remember what he had been thinking about just before. He hated that part. He never forgets things, except when he does. It rarely happened now a days as he is always in control of himself. He vowed to never let anyone control him again.

Feeling exhausted Sheldon lifted the blankets and moved to the center of the bed lying down, carefully cocooning himself as tightly as possible, and as he drifted off to sleep thoughts of Amy drifted through his mind, soothing whatever tension that had remained. Sheldon fell asleep with a smile still upon his face.

TBC...

Whatcha think? I got something here?