(in which CHRISTMAAAAS)
As is the new tradition, I wake up absolutely buried by Genkan an' Ha-chan.
I don't even know where the fuck I am under them! I-... ah. Genkan's armpit. It's a good place to be…
What's that to my left. Why's it so squishy. I- know that's not Genkan's boob- 'cause that's Ha-chan's outfit. ...Wait, that's Ha-chan's boob, of course.
I'm so glad Genkan's body is natively cold. I actually got a relative problem of overheating when I'm in a buncha blankets myself. Even in winter, sometimes! Especially when I sleep in clothes. But with the camomono, it's not so bad. I mean-... I dunno. It's hard to tell- I can get to sleep without a blanket if I'm hugging Genkan, and my body apparently doesn't make excess heat when I'm in ice mode.
Shit's weird! ...Sleeping naked with Genkan is fine, too. Genkan's body can keep us in a good loop, or something. I don't know how her internal heat distribution works. Something something yuki-onna biology.
Point is, fluffles are gentle. I'm surrounded by the gentle, and that makes me gentle…
Wait, fuck, we fell asleep at like six in the morning. It's Christmas Eve! That means it's nearly fuckin' Christmas!
Let's move! Genkan- get up, it's Christmas! Wait- oofh. Too much snug…
Maybe I'll just-... give in- and recede into the snug…
...An' that's when we start to get pushed around!
"Wake up!" Kotohime shoves all three of us! "It's almost Christmas!"
"It's almost Christma~s!" Sanae shoves us from the other side- oh god! "We slept in!" No shit…!?
"Oo- oof…!" Son-
"Wh-" Genkan makes Genkan noises. "Nnn…"
"Wh- ah…!?" Ha-chan springs up offa me though- so the situation's improved! "Christmas!?" Oh- right, she would know.
I sit up kinda clumsily- 'cause these beds are pretty economy size, and being all clothed again both removes a lotta the lewd factor, and makes it marginally less comfy 'n' compromising.
...I look down at Genkan next ta me, and she looks so freakin' snug, though. And soft! I'm tempted to put my face into her chest fluff. ...She notices me staring, and stares me down in turn, convincing me to not…!
Maria's snug in her own bed, dude. It's- slightly strange, seeing her momentarily undead mother frozen in a block of ice beside her!
"Mm- nnn…" Sitting up, Genkan emits a comfy scent. "...I'm not used to waking up in the evening."
How can you tell- we can't even see any outside light down here. Maybe she's got an internal clock…
"It's almost Christmas!" Kotohime expresses the energy I would be expressing, if Genkan wasn't really sexy! "Get outta bed, you freaking old-timers!"
Me an' Genkan slowly blink, as we become aware of the world.
Fwi- click. I summon One Million Revenants, and hold up the holy hanger part of it.
fwish. I shine the super light in Genkan's face. "Time to wake up."
"Wh-" She shuts her eyes! "Wha- why…" She puts her hand on my face- oof!
thud. I slide outta bed, along the blanket. "Oof."
Sanae runs up to me, and leans over me! "Christmas!" Your boobs look bigger from down here. Ohp- an' she's gone.
Wh- agh- dude- a fluffle just crawled over me! What just happened!? Oh- shit- there's a lot of fluffles!
They're all really excited! "Aaa~h!" Dude- Akihito's getting eaten alive!
...Slowly, Maria starts to sit up! "Wh- what the heck's goin' on…"
"Dude-" Gettin' up, I run up to her! "There's fluffles!"
"...Whah." She looks over the edge of her bed, and sees the fluffles. "Woah!"
"hon honh hoh honh honh" Dude- they're frisky!
...Picking up a fluffle, I fold it into a loaf, and begin to hold it close to Genkan's face.
She's gently opposed to it, slowly leaning away as I bring it up to her, before I try to put it on top of her head. She hunches lower to avoid that too…!
I take it back, and sniff it. Genkan blinks at me, eyes slightly narrowed.
Then, I gently hold it closer to her again. This time, she gives in, and gives it a sniff.
"...Nn- achoo!" Awh!
...Hoh. As I look around, after making Genkan sneeze, I see a thing.
Coming up to a weirdly plain vanity, I behold this like, group photo on it. ...There's a dude with a bat, some steampunk lookin' dude with a moustache, a-... a Reimu but western, and some other noobs. Is- is that Akihito…!?
I look over at Sanae, as she runs in circles! "Hey- Sanae! What's this?"
...She runs right at me! And- she don't stop runnin'! Fed to the rules, and I-
Uhf! -hit the ground- runnin'-
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
I do a lazy dance where I run in place, outside in the snow. "Didn't make sense not to live for fun- unh unh unh unh, un' unh unh… unh…" Slowly, my dance tapers off as my party leers at me…!
We're now outside the windmill of windmills. We… definitely overslept. It's like, sunset.
"Thanks for coming, guys!" Sanae gave us a wave! "We'll clean up here. Um- you should probably go to a doctor! Those bullets in ya can't be good!"
"...We'll think about it!" Maria calls out back to her!
"No…" Freed from her cryo-slumber, facin' the windmill again, Sally bows. "Thank you, Kochiya."
Sanae said she'll catch up to the Christmas bonanza later on. I forget when the party's actually gonna happen, but we should jaunt up to the SDM regardless. We'll get to tell everyone we freed a zombie from indentured servitude!
So, anyway! Let's get goin', yo!
Before we actually go, we stand idly outside the windmill.
...We center our gazes on Sally's pale body!
She really does look a lot like Maria, but older. She's wearing just… villager clothes, I guess. A beige shirt, an' brown generic pants. They're slightly worn from everything, but yeah.
"Um…" Maria smiles a little awkwardly! "So, mom… it was hard to introduce you to everyone last night. With the whole, um, war and everything. But… yeah."
Maria gestures to Genkan. "This is Genkan."
...Genkan grins! "You introduced me like one might a pet or object."
"Wh- what'd you want me to say." Maria pouts back! "I mean- I guess 'she' might've worked- but I couldn't have like-... what, would I have said, 'you is Genkan'...?
"You is Genkan." I nod! "Me am Bradward…!"
"I'm a Hana!" Ha-chan introduces herself, from behind Sally! "Hiya!"
...Sally gingerly looks around, givin' us stares! "...I- I'm still not sure what to say. This is all-... so sudden."
Yeah- well get used ta it! "We're the fluff patrol. We sniff fluffles."
"...A fluffle, you say." She tilts her head in wayward interest… "You don't happen to mean those plush-like… small things, do you?" Oh, man, you died real early in the story.
"Brad- stop being so weird to her." Maria, of course ya realize, this means war…! "She's… um, displaced." That's a word for it…!
I'm the one who hacked the game so Sally wasn't a boss fight…! I'm tempted to say that joke but I think actually no one would get it, so- "I'm the one who freakin' psycho-somatic'd Seiga into givin' us a chance to screw her over! I'll be as weird as I want…!"
Y'know, I expected this whole reunion to be a little more heart-wrenching. I think we were approaching that energy last night, but then we had ta yeet Seiga, and then fall asleep, and the moment just kinda rolled around like a wheel that popped off of a crashed car.
"Hi I'm Genkan, from Freakin' Gensokyo." I decide. "That's Brad." I point at Genkan, before I start speakin' in vague monotone to pretend to be her. "Say hello, Brad."
...Genkan has a mixed expression! "Don't do that." Wahaha! "Come here." Uh oh…! She drifts across the negative space we made amongst each other to harass me!
...After a few moments, Sally has a big smile.
She shifted her gaze around, fidgetin' around a little. "I'm sure I said it last night… but, I couldn't have dreamed that you'd have made such great friends. I wa- was so worried, that you'd be in danger, or depressed. Especially because I left you alone..."
"...It was rough." Maria admitted. "But… I pulled through."
They look over at me- as Genkan encumbers me by pushing down on my head…! Genkan pauses, noticing the stares-
Ha-chan weaves out from behind us! "I pulled out!" Wh- I don't think ya know what that means Ha-chan honey. That- or my mind's just in the gutter…
"Bet'cher sure glad now!" I must communicate a realization! "That you just kinda jumped into our party on impulse! ...Like, can ya imagine how shit woulda gone otherwise?"
Maria smiles! "I don't think I want to…!" Woah! She had a lotta energy behind that one!
Sally freezes, fer a moment! "Maria-... do you still live at home?"
Maria looks encumbered. "...Uum. Long story. But, to cut it short, I um, don't live anywhere anymore. I kinda just travel with these people. Genkan owns a cave, technically, so um… that's the closest thing to a home most of us have."
...I turn to Genkan. "I bet a fluffle moved in while you were gone."
Genkan is neutral. "I hope not." Honh, honh, son.
I turn into Genkan…! Wait- no, that'd be weird. Wait.
Fwi- Click. My absence of headwear is exchanged for my Kaguya wig, an' since I'm still in my camoumono… "I'm you now!"
...Genkan jerks her head back when she sees me! "I- I keep forgetting you have that." Wahaha!
"Normally I'd be worried, but, um… I'm kind of numb to things, at the moment." Sally looks slightly anxious! "Nn-... well, partially on account of being dead and everything, but also-... this is all just-... so weird. But- I don't really have a choice but to trust them. Especially considering what they've done for us…"
Maria nods hard. "Brad's a good person… he's just kinda nuts. Genkan might be a youkai, but she's a good person too. And- um, she doesn't eat people. ...Hana's nice." I guess Ha-chan's good will goes without saying. Fairy an' everything.
...When Sally looks over at us, Ha-chan's just in her face. "Hi, Maria's mom." Awh.
"We're headin' to a Christmas party!" I announce, as I brush aside my black locks! "Over at the vampire mansion! The big scarlet one!"
...Sally blinks. "The-... what? Nn- you can't. That's too dangerous." Uh oh, it's this all over again!
"That's what I thought too." Genkan is mellow, dude. ...Marshmallow. "It's actually quite peaceful. The mistresses are light drinkers, or so they say. You're in more danger from the fairies. They're adult-sized in there, and quite rowdy."
"Y'know what they say." I speak up.
...I don't continue the thought. Everyone slowly focuses on me…!
"...Texas." Yeah, dude.
"We should probably get going." Genkan decides…! "The sun will set before we get moving at all, at this rate."
"But-..." Sally has her brows furrowed. "Can you really defend yourself?" She asks Maria. "You hardly know anything about magic yet…"
"I've been learning while you were gone." Maria clarifies… "That time spell I used earlier may've been a prefab- but I know a whole lot more about the elements. I even know some water magic, now..."
"Even so…" Sally looks over at me! "And- what can he do? Not to be rude, but… he's not a knight, by any means."
"Yo." I hold up a hand. "...Lemme tell ya somethin'."
Sally looks apologetic. "You- you don't have to prove anything to me. I'm sorry if I'm misjudging you- but-"
"When I was a lad, I regurgitated four dozen eggs." ...I grin! "Every morning, to help me stay small."
...Sally slowly gains a dry expression! Ooh- she does the 'slightly miffed' look even stronger than Maria does!
"Now that I'm grown, I regurgitate twelve dozen eggs. An' I'm roughly the size of- ant." Not an ant. Just ant.
"...That's what I wanted to say." Sally…!? "You really ought to eat more." Oh.
"Thank you." Genkan agrees!
"He- really does." Maria-...!
"Wh- I've been in a kimono, how can you tell…!?" I hold my arms out! Look at all this! I look like ten times as present as I normally do!
"Your form doesn't fit it, quite." Sally knows, dude. She just knows.
"...In a sniffing match, no one sniffs like Gastin." Gastin.
"Just-" Genkan gets behind me, an' starts pushing! "Go~." Woohoo!
"Wh- where are we going, now?" Sally didn't catch that! Oh- right.
"Oh. Um. It's almost Christmas, actually." Maria communicates, dude. "Which is why we're heading to that vampire's place. For the party."
...Sally nods, dude. "And-... you're um… going to let me come with you, right? It's- alright if you don't, but-"
"Nope." I nod. "We're inviting a fluffle instead. ...Yeah yer comin' along! Wasn't that like- the premise!?"
"Oo- oh." Sally blinks! "Not like- I was going to let myself be left behind, anyway. I'm still not totally onboard with this whole vampire mansion business. Not until I see it with my own eyes."
"Yeah, dude!" I clap my hands together! "In a biting match, everyone bites Gastin."
...Genkan gives me an oddly intense look! "Who the-... who the hell is Gastin." Pfhahahah! "Re- really…!" She laughs with me- 'cause it's so freakin' weird…!
"What the heck's a biting match." Maria wants to know! "I- I don't-... think that's a thing…!"
...Sally snorts a little after the fact, an' moves to keep up with us all as we begin our trek into the wilderness.
An' so we end up on the fluffy trail, dude. Progress to the mansion begins!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Whelp, we accidentally took the trail into the Forest of Magic, and now we're kinda-sorta lost. 'Cause the trail just like, died.
The snow is thick here, dude. The sunset-laden sky is hidden by the brilliant, shimmering gloom over the Forest of Magic itself…
"Everyone-" Sally's up an' stolen the lead from everyone else…! "It's not safe here. I'll see us through the woods."
"I- I don't think it's that bad…" Maria has that floofy confusion look on her face. "Can't be worse than some of the horrible things we've fought before…"
"Don't say that." Genkan returns. "It could always be worse."
"Um- good point." Maria quickly admits…! "Still…"
"No one's as meek and discouraging as Gastin." I inform everyone. "No one's as dehydrated darkness as Gastin…!"
"Wi- will you stop talking about this Gastin…?" Genkan withholds some giggles…! "I- I don't know what Gastin did to wrong you- but it's surely not worth lamenting over it."
"Son…!" I must preach about the horrors of Gastin! "He took the Krusty Krab pizza. Everyone hates Gastin…!"
...Slowly, we stop because there's a huge snow bank in the way. Everyone takes a moment to silently admire how snowy this bank is.
It's so fluffy that I just walk into it in an attempt to climb it- but unlike a grassy hill, it gives away and I just walk into a wall of snow.
"Um…" Maria smiles! "Come back, Brad. I think we'll just have to go around…"
"Mmh- nnh- nnh." I'm drowning.
FWOOF. Then, all the snow gives away a little, as a huge snow fluff stands amidst it!
"one fluffle stands in your way" It looks lonesome, its smile obscured. "im gonna hop all over you"
"Um." Maria blinks. "Oh no."
"Oh fuck, it's Gastin." As I back away from it, intimidated by the sheer scale, Sally holds up 'er staff.
"Pulsar." Woah. Light and space itself ripples around the tip of Sally's staff-
thoom- thoom. Two echoey noises ring across the clearing- like someone banged on the side of a huge, empty metal tub-
FRRO- WHOAA~M! Ho- who- holy shit…!
That's the air and space around us depressurizing- because Sally's spell was a massive, black orb of some kind. Streaks of light and stars inside race down at impossible speed and scary clarity. Ambient light is visibly pulled into the void in clumps, making the blurry mass bigger. The ground shakes, and we feel the air all around us getting pulled in- snow too…!
FWOAM! Then- the orb shrinks down in an instant and disappears.
There's a crater in the snow before us, the bank removed, the fluffle having been erased with it. All the snow along the floor is now packed firmly into ice, creating a porcelain plain for us to walk on.
Click, click. Sally walks plainly along it. "C'mon…" She gestures fer us to follow, as if she didn't just damn a fluffle to a black hole…!
...Genkan speaks quietly! "I'm starting to feel you made very much the right decision in avoiding combat with her."
"Uu- aah…" Maria's mouth is agape…! Wh- ain't this your mom!? Didja never see her cast that before…!?
"Wo~w…" Ha-chan is impressed, dude. "That was so pretty. This place is so pretty!" Weren't you here before? ...Then again, this visual's pretty good. Maybe it warrants restatin'!
"Um- hey, mom." Maria speaks up! "Maybe don't cast that on living things… if- if you didn't know."
Sally purses her lips, looking back. "...Mmm? Mmh. I mean- if a youkai attacks us- I'd rather it than us, if you know what I mean… and- did what I fight not count?"
"Fluffles don't count." Maria confirms…! "They don't got blood, organs, or souls. Nn- not to sound like a weirdo, but they really don't. But- we're pretty good at fighting things and only mildly injuring them."
...At Sally's worried look, Maria holds up her hands! "That- doesn't mean we're not good at it! We just-... you know. We don't like to kill people."
"Violence is a necessity these days…" Sally shook her head. "I- I mean…" Then, she smiled! "Look what happened to me. If I'd booby-trapped the windows to kill that intruder, or something similar, I'd still have-..."
"We do brutalize our foes some- but we do try to remain somewhat kind." Genkan spoke up. "Life is precious… and- when we don't give second chances, while we may remain ignorant of what could have been, we still miss out on the possibilities."
...Sally lowered her gaze. "I-... I suppose that's a valuable lesson. It just-... didn't seem fair. That, and-... you know, I've always kind of believed in 'an eye for an eye'. If they're going to try and take my life…"
Genkan counters that! "I tried to take Brad's life when I first met him. ...We- we're lovers now, if that wasn't clear. If he'd attacked- or killed me- in self-defense… none of that would have happened."
...Sally swallows- perhaps unnecessarily, 'cause I see her pause awkwardly a moment after, feeling her throat. "Uu- um. ...Yeah. I-... well, things like that do happen, but…"
"Anyone you- or anyone- might kill… could have friends, family, lovers, or dreams." Genkan held a hand to her own chest. "It's when we forget that, that we become those murderers we swear to protect ourselves from."
"I- I get it." Sally smiles some, and shakes her head. "...You truly are wise, snow woman. You were…?"
"Genkan." Genkan restates! "...I'm somewhat bad with names myself. You were-...?"
"Sally." Sally restates! I can't afford t'be bad with names dude- I'm the current perspective holder…!
...With that fluffmcguff moment out of the way, we all continue.
"Except fer Gastin. It's okay if you bite Gastin."
Beaming, Genkan turns to me! "Shut up." Uh oh- oof! She pushed me into the snow…!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
It was a quiet night in the magic forest otherwise, dude. The sunset outside the woods ain't quite over, and we don't got time fer a pit stop at the- actually we totally got time fer a pit-stop at the Kourindou. It's- actually just about right there! Oh, man. Now that I got money… I should buy the fuck outta shit!
As we round the side a' the Kourindou- and the winter event map lighting sets in, I behold how warm it looks from the outside…
"Let's go inside, dude." I'm gentle. "It looks snuggleable."
Has anyone in my party been here before?
"Wha- wait…" Sally stops me! "Do you normally simply wander into youkai homes?"
Wha~h. I hold my arms out! "It's Kourindou! Eeha- daah- my da~d knows 'em!" ...All things considered, if my dad were in Gensokyo, he'd probably get along with Rinnosuke just fine- 'cause they're both boomers!
...I look over at Genkan. She's fer some reason skeptical! "Do you actually know this house?"
"No- really, this is a store!" I reaffirm! "Maria- you hear a' Kourindou before!?"
...Maria shakes her head gently. "Nn-... no." Wat!
I move to push the door open! "Freakin'...! Lemme show ya! Look- if the boogeyman jumps out at us- Sally here can just cast omega hyper death on 'em an' erase the entire storefront! Pretty sure Rinnosuke ain't even that scary!"
Ding, ding! Aw, yeah dude. We're here!
Aa~w! Rinnosuke's got a Christmas tree up! Lights on it and everything! Ho~h, du~de…
...Oh- and by 'up', I mean he's got the tree really up! It's the king of the hill; and the hill's composed of a whole lotta bullshit!
Moseyin' inside, I pan my gaze to the right, an' see Marisa turnin' to watch us enter. Aw… aw, dude. Kourin's got a santa hat on, dude.
"Yo, ho, ho!" Wait- that'd be- "Ho, ho, ho!" There we go! Ain't ever too many 'ho's when it comes ta Christmas time!
fzzt- fzzt. Oh- holy shit. There's a shit-tier CRT TV going in the edge of the room. It has fucked reception- but it's getting any reception, which is impressive!
...Oh, fuck off. That one Hershey's kisses commercial is playing, where they all act like bells. It's a fun sound- but I never thought I'd hear that goddamn commercial again!
"Ooh!" Marisa beams at us! "Hey, Kourin! Looks like yer wish came true!"
"We're the stocking stuffers, dude!" I clap my hands together! "What's good, uh, Rinnosuke!? ...Can I call ya Kourin!?"
"Aah-..." Rinnosuke's got his arms folded, as he beholds my party as it wanders on in. "...That's-... what is this? Are all these people friends of yours?"
"Oh, shit, ze!" Marisa beamed! "How's it going, Maria!? What're you doin' outta the village this evening? And-"
Marisa sees Sally, and her jaw drops! "What tha' fuck's goin' on, ze…!?"
"Aa-" Sally freezes stock still, and her arms prop up! "Ma- Marisa…? Oh-... oh, I haven't seen you since you were twelve!"
"Who the fuck're you!?" Marisa like, did a little leap back as Sally got closer! "I-... I remember yer face! But-... y'can't be who I think you are. Like-... she's dead!"
Yeehaw! "...I'll tell ya a story that'd make a skoolatoon cry, son. Of our jubiliciously lovely corpse bride!" You can throw tomatoes now…!
Marisa points her broom at me, the bristles aimed at my face. "What'd you do, ze. I swear, if yer dabblin' in necromancy, I'mma blow yer frizzy hair off."
I shrug! "Well- we dabbled wit' a necromancer- but let's just say, she didn't wanna give up the ghost…!"
whump. Marisa gently whumps me overhead with her broom! "Oof…!"
"I'm still dead, by the way." Sally had a big smile! "...Um. It- feels weird, but I'm kind of happy you remembered me enough to react… like that."
"...So, uh, what the fuck actually happened." Marisa's curious, yo. "Pretty sure someone's in trouble for this, or something…! Necromancy's kinda, tsk tsk, y'know… doesn't make a lotta people happy!"
...What, me? Why's everyone waitin' for me!? Well- sure… "We had a big Christmas party by the village- but the taoists came ta crash it. Long story short: Seiga found Maria's dead mom, zombified 'er 'cause she was impressed by her mana pool, and tried to have her go kill-bot on us!"
"...Huh." Marisa tilts her head back. "Well, that's Seiga fer ya. Uh, judgin' by the missin' jiangshi talisman… didn't go so well fer her, huh?"
I nod! "We had me, Kotohime, an' Sanae! We kinda, y'know… worked a li'l magic, an' one thing lead to another, and uu~h…!" I present Sally again! "Tada!"
"A'right- that combo explains a few things." Scratchin' the back of her head, Marisa grinned an' shook it! "Add enough kooks an' anything can happen. I'd know so…!"
...Genkan drifts up to the counter, adjusting her sweater some. "What kind of store is this? It's… disorganized, for a word."
"Aa-... hmmh." Rinnosuke adjusts his voice! "It is… a-"
"Thrift store!" Marisa interjects!
"Pawn shop!" I declare!
"It is a general store-" Rinnosuke begins-
"What!?" Marisa objects! "That's bullshit!"
Rinnosuke frowns, and starts again. "It is a very general store-"
"That ain't even a thing!" Marisa objects, again!
...Rinnosuke frowned again, and started, again! "It is a novelty shop-"
"Yo-" I object this time! "That makes it sound like a sex shop…!"
"It's a shop." Rinnosuke found the logical conclusion…! "It's a store of no purpose. Are you happy, now? It fits into no category."
"Very." Marisa snaps a corny smile right after- one that sure had ta be on purpose!
Shakin' his head, Rinnosuke leaned into the counter. "I~ sell many things here. Novelties, technology, relics from the outside… common necessities, potions, food… I have a little of everything."
...Genkan looks ginger for a moment. "Relics from the outside…?"
"Is it not impressive?" Rinnosuke smirks, an' holds his arms out! "Feel free to browse… as long as you've got money. Though I'd love to simply hand things out-"
"Boo~." Marisa interrupts him… "No you don't. Well- you do, but you wish you didn't!"
...Rinnosuke carries on as if she didn't interject! "I do, as it turns out, need money to survive."
I shuffle up next to Genkan, and nod at him. "...Y'never answered if I could call ya Kourin or not!"
He flicks his eyes up, an' adjusts his glasses. "For tonight, maybe." Aw, sick. "The spirit of the holiday, and everything…"
Then, he smiles at Genkan! "Is there anything on your mind, that you'd like?"
"Mmm? No…" Genkan refused to be stirred. "For now, I'll browse…"
...Before she could wander off, he held up a hand. "Do you read books, by chance?"
"...Ah." Genkan took pause, dude. "I do, in fact. Do you sell any here?"
...Rinnosuke almost grins big! "It just so happens…"
Thunk! He draws a whole shelf of books up from under the counter! In fact- he's got this dope-ass platform shelf that rotates up on two wheels, to come up from under the counter and then sit just above it.
"I have a whole collection." Now he beams! "Impressed?"
"...Mildly." Genkan admits, noddin'! Man- he's even got it so the spines all face us instead a' him. That must be a real bitch, 'cause we're probably one of few people to ever actually see this…!
In the midst of Genkan lookin' over the row of books, Rinnosuke speaks summore. "When you leave here, do you plan on going anywhere this Christmas eve?" What kinda question's that.
Genkan gets suspicious too! "...Nowhere I think you'd be concerned with. But, if you must know, we're going to the Christmas party at the mansion."
"Ah." Rinnosuke tilted his head back. "You, and…?"
...Genkan slowly pans her gaze to me, and- pulls me closer! "Him. Them." She gestures back to the others, too!
"Me!" Ha-chan is beside her, suddenly, which even surprises her…!
Rinnosuke blinks a bunch. "...Hi- him, you say. What is he to you…?"
Genkan snorts! "My boyfriend. What is this line of questioning."
...His brows are raised! "He-... him, as-... your boyfriend. Him. Of-... of all the men in the land…"
"Wh-" Marisa's stirred from her own activities in the background again! "Wait- wh- whah."
Genkan furrows her brows! "Is there something wrong with that?"
"I-" Rinnosuke collects himself, and adjusts his glasses. "...Yes? Yes- there is. I-..." He lets out a sigh! "Do your personalities mesh? At all?"
"...Surprisingly, yes." Genkan's surprised herself…! "I didn't think so when we first met, some weeks ago, but… we've bonded. There's more to him than meets the eye. On that note..." She smiles, dude. "Do you have any books for couples? If such things exist…"
...Taking his glasses off, Rinnosuke just kinda slouches, as he starts to polish them idly. "I-... I wouldn't know. Hold on- I just-... I'm gonna take a quick break."
Wow. Doesn't Rinnosuke put up with bein' the straight guy regularly…? We really must've freakin' broke 'em!
With that, he marches off, an' into some other room…!
"Holy~ shit." Marisa grins ear-to-ear! "I just watched some real fuckin' magic happen."
"...I don't even know what just happened." Genkan admitted…!
Marisa laughs! "He- hahah! Dude- Kourin was into you. You just freakin' broke his mind…!"
...Genkan's eyes widen! "Really…?"
"Yeah- really!" Marisa shook her head! "Dude- he doesn't go outta his way to put on a show fer just anyone! An' he asked ya what you'd be doin' tonight, I mean c'mon! And-" Marisa points at her. "Was that jus' a legendary lie-... or is you really dating-..." She points at me slowly…!
Genkan snorts summore! "...Yes, we're dating. And- since this apparently amazes so many people, we've had sex. Multiple times, in fact."
Marisa sits down, and then lies down on the floor.
...Genkan chuckles a little! "Aa- are you okay?"
"No!" Marisa yells! "I ain't!"
I can't believe I got laid before Rinnosuke did. Oh, man. Y'know- the reason he had ta take a break is slowly dawning on me…!
...When I face Genkan again, she looks slightly bewildered! "What kind of reputation have you built…?"
"A big one." Apparently…!
She giggles a little too much at that! "Nn- ehehe… a- a big one? Now that I think about it- this is the precise reaction this sort of thing should evoke, isn't it…?" Genkan has figured out the matrix and Halo and the answer to the russian hacking fiasco all in one stroke of thought.
...Rinnosuke marches back into the room, with a cup a' something- maybe beer- and his glasses back on.
"Hey- Kourin!" I call 'em out! "...You gotten laid yet!?"
"I'm about to charge you an obnoxiousness fee, if you keep this up." Rinnosuke's internally peeved…!
I clap my hands together- and, y'know what, I won't say it. I'll leave Rinnosuke in eternal suspense.
"I feel as though I'm surrounded by children." Genkan kicks everyone's ass…! "I- might very well be, when I think about it…" Probably some shit ta do with age ratios!
"Hey." Maria interjects, suddenly behind us. "I don't wanna hear that from someone who was afraid to be lovey-dovey and stuff earlier. You practically died when you saw Brad's dick for the first time."
Sally puts a hand on Maria's shoulder. "Did- did I teach you such language?"
...Maria slowly makes an 'o' shape with her mouth, frozen in place!
Genkan fluffs up! "...We aren't the only ones whose bravery crosses into the territory of foolishness at times."
...I shrug! "I mean- ta be fair, what other kinda word is there fer dick? S'not as fluent ta say penis…!"
Genkan gives me a look half between icy and smirking. "That- isn't quite the point…"
"I-" Maria's really shy, now. "Mmh…" Oh, man. Nothing's worse than that awkward feeling of yer parent scoldin' you. It triggers an instinctual fear- and it only becomes worse when it's something like this, where it's kind of a freak incident!
"Also!" I raise my finger! "...I'll have you know- Maria's actually quite tactful with her language most of the time!"
"Aa-" Sally takes pause! "What…? Uh…"
Genkan agrees, sort of! "Wh- when'd this become about language. That's really not even the point. She just talked about something private so candidly…"
Wait. Oh, the irony. "...Which you freaked out about immediately after, after citing us all as noobs fer freakin' out about something tangential but similar!"
...Silence. We did it, dude. We are now the hacker known as 4Chan. I am made of code, fear me.
"Alright." Genkan shook her head. "I blame everything. The time, the weather, and the holiday. I'm-... just going to go back to browsing books…" Wow! She admitted defeat…!
"Language-... aa- attitude is-... mmh." Sally has been disenfranchised!
With that, Maria calms down! "I know, mom. Respect and stuff. I'll be more careful… aa- around you."
"Eer. So- something like that." Sally grins awkwardly. I see where Sally disagreed with that notion- but neither of us have time to play the 4D chess required to explain the differences between our party environment and their familial one!
...With that, let's change gears, dude.
"How much for a fluffy santa hat fer Genkan." I ask Rinnosuke. "It needs extra fwoofs."
"...Mmh. A thousand yen, or so." Aw. It's an actually apt price. Not that it matters, 'cause I'm made a' money.
Aw. I point at the Christmas tree. "Hey- Kourin. What's the purpose of a Christmas tree? Appraise it, yo." I'm kind of curious why there's a heaping mountain of shit beneath his…!
He seems ta like this topic diversion, wigglin' his eyebrows some. "Hmm. ...As far as I can ascertain, the purpose of the Christmas tree… is to place objects underneath. It may have acted as an umbrella of sorts- shielding the objects from the snow in old times. Myself, I feel like I can particularly resonate with such an idea… as pine trees do make good shielding. Though, in this case, the tradition is largely ornamental."
Wow. I have never… heard someone be so confidently, extremely incorrect before. He even came to like, roughly the right conclusion at the end- but it's completely up in the air how he got there…!
"Well, uh, you're like-... you were goin' places with that idea!" I dunno how to even break it to him! "You're-... oh so wrong, but also really right at the same time…!"
"...You were an outsider, weren't you." Rinnosuke folded his arms. "Well? What's it meant for, then?"
"It- ya put objects under it, but not just any. Ya put gifts for people under them. Specifically- for Santa Claus ta put under 'em!"
"...Who?" Kourin baby, no. My ass- it's empty.
I hold up my hands. "Dude. He's the-... he's Chris Pringle. He puts presents under everyone's trees on Christmas mornin', dude. Up on the rooftop, click-click-click! Down through the chimney came ol' Saint Nick! Filled all the presents wit' lots of toys, all fer the good little girls an' boys!"
"...This sounds like a youkai, of some sort." Rinnosuke- y'know, he might not actually be wrong, Santa kinda like, is a youkai, now that I think 'bout it… "How come I've never received presents before, then?"
"Y'never put up a tree, stupid." I make an assumption!
...Rinnosuke nods! "Somewhat rude, but… not incorrect, I suppose."
"Make sure ya leave cookies an' milk out too! Santa likes that!" I suggest!
"Has no one ever tried to accost such a man?" Rinnosuke remains skeptical! "I feel as though… he would be easily captured or robbed, as he is. How many people does he deliver presents to?"
"All. The whole world. Everyone possible." I hold my arms out! "All of Earth…!"
"...This is getting increasingly unbelievable." Rinnosuke shook his head… "Though, the festive spirit is… pretty nice. That I can at least appreciate. If there are presents under my tree this year, I'll consider believing." Ho~h…
"We'll see, yo. Remember ta ask Santa fer what you want, too!" That's a big part of it! Wait- oh shit! "Yo oh fuck. Kourin- get Yukari on the line, this is an emergency."
Rinnosuke looked incredibly vague. "...Why."
"We need to get letters to Santa." This must happen…! "We need paper too- Kourin, I'll buy paper and pens from you- we need ta get our Christmas wishes down right now!"
"...I'm going to charge you a premium." Yeah- I don't care!
Reachin' into my bag- I just take out like, a million yen. "Here's a million yen, think you can excuse most of our transactions tonight…!?"
He exhales, puttin' his arms into the air! "...This doesn't give you an excuse to be completely stupid, but-... that is a lot of money. Alright."
Taking pause, he reached under his desk…
"Oh?" Wow. I like how he just has a Yukari button. She pops up as requested, before us. "Lonely at this hour, are you? Aa- ah." She blinks at all the people here! "...Holiday rush, then. What do you need of me…?"
Yukari! "Hey- Yukari! It's Christmas- and we need to get letters to Santa!"
After parsing my request, Yukari smiled warmly, folding her arms. "Oh? I don't see how that's my problem…"
I dunno how Merry and Yukari are related, but I'm gonna take a gamble! Pointin' at her, I stare 'er down. "Hey. Y'gotta make it up to me. Y'almost killed me back there."
...Yukari purses her lips. "Awful big assumption of you to make. Especially for someone who threw, let's say me, under the bus, just earlier today."
"Aw- as if Seiga'd get her shit together." I gesture to Yukari herself. "I mean-... yer here right now, aren't ya?"
...Yukari rolled her head to one side. "Well. If it will help you sleep at night, I'll do this favor for you." Yes! Aw, yeah! "...If Santa exists. I could just be draining your favor into nothing."
I wave it off. "Ah- whatever, worst case scenario, you're Santa. How fast can you have 'em delivered!?"
"Right now, once you have them written." Yukari beamed at us. "Take your time. Just don't take too long, now…"
Alright, I turn around-
"Br- Brad-" Genkan is intimidated. "That-"
"Is- isn't she-" Maria's got her staff aimed at Yukari…!
Sally's reacted to everyone else's action-time positions, and has her staff ready too, glarin' Yukari down…!
I put my arms up. "Alright- she might look like she-who-kills-a-lot-... and I don't even know if they're ultimately different people in the end- but we've got a truce! S'the Christmas truce! An' this one's different- she'll get our letters to Santa!" If he exists! I- honestly, the whole youkai talk's got me suspicious, man.
"Is-... is it really worth it?" Maria wondered…
"She's- certainly not the same person- yet-..." Genkan moves to pull on me! "My instincts tell me we should leave. Now. Right now. I-" Wh-
Genkan kisses me suddenly. Upon breakin' it, she tries to hightail it with me. "Come on, Brad. We're-"
"Ho- hold on-" Yo, holy shit. "Calm down, fluff 'n' stuff. She's a bit spooky, but not that bad…!"
"Bad!" Ha-chan is opposed too…! Oh, shit.
...Yukari actually has a slight frown, as she gets a net super negative reception. "...Mmm. I'll be in the next room, then. Call me again when you're ready."
Huh. She actually-... didn't seem elated by that. She zips out via gap, and the tension amidst my pals immediately de-escalates.
"...I- I suppose-... you may be right." Genkan is soothed by Yukari's show of disappearing.
Maria laxes, an' so does her mom. Ha-chan closes her eyes, looking peaceful…
Rinnosuke has a hard stare, kinda awed by how violently we all reacted.
"Wow." Marisa's sittin' on a chair nearby now, lookin' through one of the books off the shelf. "You guys're actin' like you just saw a-... I don't even know what!"
Rinnosuke vends me some paper, so I lay it out on the counter under his bookshelf… thing of splendor.
We got the envelopes, the pens, an' the paper… I'mma just fold up mine preliminarily- alright.
It's slightly awkward, and the weird tension from before leaves everyone feeling shy and skittish, but I beckon morale and bravery! "Alright! ...Let's write some letters, yo."
...Gingerly, Ha-chan comes up first, takes one of Rinnosuke's modernish pens, an' starts writing.
We actually all write our letters kinda quietly, and it has a comfy sorta energy. Just, the silence of the moment, the dim warm lights of the Kourindou, and the scribbling of us all gingerly writing our wishes.
But then the discussion opens, after a little while. "Do we just-..." Genkan seems ta be the most unfamiliar. "Ask for anything?"
"Literally anything. Conceptual stuff's a bit iffy- but uu~h… anything material, not made-up is pretty solid, I think!"
I think Maria and Sally know enough. Damn, I wonder what Sally's thinkin' of asking…! Another life, maybe!? Revival!? Yo hey- does Santa know necromancy…!? A jiangshi talisman of not-rotting maybe!?
Well, anyway…
Yeah. As for me…
What do I want? A weapon? A gun? ...Something cute and cool for Genkan? Pu- pun unintended hruugh-
Win cute prizes. ...That wasn't a thought related to anything, I just like the phrase 'win cute prizes'.
Man. I've always been kinda indecisive when it comes to giga-open-ended shit! Hrrgh. Wait- right… you can ask Santa for multiple things! I'm a freakin' genius!
"Uh!" I speak up! "...You can ask fer multiple things, by the way! Maybe sort 'em by most to least important…"
Maria snorts. "You- weren't already doing that?"
Ohp, now I feel munted. "The thought just occurred to me!"
"You can ask for more than one thing!?" Ha-chan was helped by it, though!
I nod! "Santa's got such a huge sleigh fer a reason! And- probably a bag of holding of his own, all things considered…"
"Santa has a sleigh!?" ...Ha-chan, what- who- how.
"...Yeah, an' it's pulled by a lotta reindeer."
"Santa has reindeer!?" Everyone starts starin' Ha-chan down, annoyed by the amount of noise she's makin'...!
"Yeah, and he flies around the sky deliverin' presents! You been listening when I've talked about 'em…!?"
...After drawin' for awhile, Ha-chan looks up. Everyone anticipates her yelling again, but then all falter when she don't. "Well, how else would he get presents to everyone…?" I can't believe everyone got owned.
Alright- I gotta start writin' shit down!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
"...Well." Rinnosuke handled the transaction between letters and Yukari fer us. "Here's hoping your seasonal wishes will be delivered with any degree of care."
Genkan's selected some books to buy, and Maria found what looked like some kinda staff…
Ha-chan's obtained a TV remote- pro'lly not the one Rinnosuke needs for his crap-tier TV here- and uuh… aw- yeah! AC/DC T-shirt! Yeehaw!
Sally got some towels, and tissue packets, and hand sanitizer. Hu~h. Oh- also, buncha perfume trinkets…
An' me? Since we paid so much money- I took a microwave! We're gonna need it eventually, dude! Aw- I oughta teach Maria an' Sally about the variable wonders and horrors of microwave food…
"Actually." Genkan has an idea. "I'll take some of those board games you have, too. It would be nice to have some entertainment on hand…"
Rinnosuke nods, makin' a partial frown as if to express 'yeah seems fair' in a sorta bittersweet way. Dude really doesn't wanna part wit' shit- but I doubt half of this stuff'd see use anyway.
"This whole scenario might've been really awkward!" I announce! "...But awkward, strangely shitty gatherings are what Christmas is all about!"
"...Thank goodness it's only once a year." Genkan-... probably speaks for a lotta people right about now! "This is-... it's nice, but these sorts of activities really are quite draining. And- that's not just because we had to go to war to save Maria's mother from the brink."
"...Christmas festivities are, a little." Sally admits. "But-... they've never been big. Especially 'cause not everyone in the village celebrates it. I'm- somewhat unfamiliar with how much energy we've been putting into this…"
I hold my arms out! "I mean- overall, everything still feels more alive than back in the outside world. Y'do this in the post offices there-... it's got a shitty, sorta gritty feeling to it- but that seedy, street backdrop all dusted wit' snow basically is Christmas out there."
"...Comfy, but strange." Genkan recognizes it, dude! "What of something as fancy as the mansion, then?"
"That's the idealized mental image of Christmas time!" I inform 'er! "What we just went through is what ninety-nine-percent of how Christmas is like on the outside!"
"...Aah." Sally spoke up amidst the resulting quiet. "You're from the outside, aren't you?"
I nod! "That indeed I am! Y'want the good news or the bad noose…!?"
...After pursin' her lips, Sally considers this. "Both?"
"Good news is, people still like to eat baked goods!" That's the good news! "Bad news is, it's all mass-produced by robots and conveyor belts, and the small town baker is dead as dust!"
"...Oh." Sally looks weirdly displaced… "Unlike some people I've met, I've never really wanted to see the outside. Gensokyo's big enough for me… and so is the village, really."
Aw, where's your sense of adventure. I'd probably be ogling the no man's lands outside the barrier if I didn't know exactly how shit it is out there compared to in here…!
We near the door, and I wave back at Rinnosuke. "Catch ya later, Kourinhourindodo! We've gotta party ta catch- but we might be back later, so don't forget we gave ya a million freakin' yen! Consider it a down-payment!"
"...I'm not sure where you got actually a million yen from, but, okay." Rinnosuke seems fine with it! Man, I'm so glad the limits on how much cash you can spend in one sitting don't exist in Gensokyo. ...Not a thought many people have, I'm sure! Probably just like… me and Joon.
An' with that- we're outta here! We might come back later post-afterparty, but we'll see, dude.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
The sun has set, an' the full moon rises over the Scarlet Devil Mansion in the midst of all hallow's eve- wait fuck that's the wrong holiday. I- I unironically wanted it to call Halloween instead 'a Christmas Eve…! How freakin' heretical!
The gate to the mansion's wide open, a big fancy carpet now laid from the entrance to the front door.
Meiling's out here, in a santa outfit! Yes, dude! "Oh, hey. It's you guys."
"We're back!" I announce! "Wit' a friend, dude!"
...Meiling sizes up Sally! "...You- you're aware she's a jiangshi, right?"
"Yep!" Yeah dude! "We dug up Maria's mom for the Christmas festivities!"
...Meiling blinked some! "Wh- wait, what happened to Maria's mom. Why'd you have to dig her up…!?"
"Let's go, yo!" I gesture fer everyone to follow me!
Everyone gingerly passes her, as she gets even more confused! "What even-... nnh. What? ...Whatever."
The carpet leads us right to the mansion's front door, dude.
"This-..." Sally's intimidated! "It's-... it's really so grand…"
"It feels exciting, doesn't it?" Maria knows this walk too well now! "Even now- every time we step up to it… there's this feeling of scale."
I wonder how many people're already here. Let's get on inside!
The double-doors at the mansion's front are already open. Inside, there ain't the usual foyer; the front door takes us straight to the dining hall, which also features a big new door to an outdoor patio…!
Also, there're a lot of people here. Like, actually.
"Mmh-" Reimu's at a table, guzzlin' down booze.
"Wh- what the hell-" Reisen's got an arm on her shoulder! "What're you, twelve. Don't just chug it…!"
...Eirin's sitting at the table, faceplanted into a pillow. Wat happened to you.
Aw, Kaguya's here! And- man there's so many people-
We wade into the absolute crowd of people, in an effort to reach the big new patio door at the other side-
The fuck- who's spinning wildly in the middle of the crowd!? Oh- it's just Hina-
"Wh- ah-" When Maria moves to pass her, Hina picks 'er up and deposits her one-eight degrees where she started! "...Uu- um?"
...I turn to Genkan, who spins once experimentally, before looking mixed up. "That-... that's an impressive spin, she has going…"
Oh- shit, Byakuren passes us. Aw-
"Hi." Yukari appears amidst the crowd, coming up to Genkan's side!
"Oh-" Genkan leaps back- oh- oof!
"Genka- aah-" She ass-attacked me! Wha-
I fall into Hina, who picks me up and deposits me on the opposite side of herself!
"...Hey, friend." It's Nitori!
I stare down at her casually. "...Hi, friend."
Since we have nothing else to exchange- I throw my left arm out!
woosh. From above, a fluffle descends onto Nitori! "Wh- aah!"
"im munted" The fluffle rubs its shell nose against hers! "cuddle friend"
Dartin' away from them- I move up towards that patio-
Wh- aw. Wait- is that-... aw, it's Myon. I almost run into it, 'cause it's just drifting around through the crowd on its own…
"...Oo- oh." Aw, it's Kagerou. "Excuse me…" We have the most mundane exchange, where she just gets outta my way-
"Mister!" Who the fuck invited the mansion fairies…!? Koi runs up to me- "Spank my fat aa-"
Koishi- holy shit- "Hi." She grabs onto Koi from the side.
Koi's eyes go super wide! "Whoa- gaa- aaa-"
They're both-... gone.
Why the hell'm I just standin' here- the way before me's clear! This party's fuckin' trippy!
Aw! Maria romps across the floor before me- and she's got a big fluffy santa hat on, fer some reason!
I see Genkan in the crowd behind her- and at some point the red santa hat I gave her turned teal. Dude- what the hell's goin' on…!?
I may say my party's nearing max capacity- but an actual party is just totally incomprehensible…!
WOOSH! Aw, behind us, Marisa springs from the floor, into the air. "I'm here, guys! Didja miss me!?"
WHI- WHI- WHISH! Glowing, gold amulets spring from somewhere in the crowd, homing in on Marisa as she does loops in the air…!
Wha- uh oh. Suika's lying on the floor, getting trampled by people as we all mingle!
...Eventually, Genkan comes from our left, convening with us again.
Genkan also comes from the right. Wait- uh oh.
Both Genkans make a spooked expression when they see each other.
...Wha- suddenly someone wraps an arm over my shoulder!
"Wowie!" It's-... Brad!? But- what…! "I'm seein' double!"
"...How jarring." Right Genkan decides…! "Though… I must admit, two of you… is a prospect. A horrifying one perhaps, but one nonetheless."
Brad parts from my shoulders, comin' up to Right Genkan. "Aw, yeah. Yo- let's go catch up with the others!"
"...I suppose so." Right Genkan and Brad start to walk away before us, parting from us entirely.
...Left Genkan turns to me! "Um."
I look back at the crowd-
Right Genkan's got tanuki ears, and the other Brad has some floaty arrow things behind his back now.
"Okay, so you are real." The real Genkan comes up to me!
Maria has a bewildered expression! "This is crazy…!"
"Tag!" Oh- is that-... that is Ha-chan I hear. Who's she playin' tag with-
Ha-chan comes out of the crowd all of a sudden- and hooks her arm around me, hidin' behind me- and almost knockin' me over…!
...Wh- Okuu comes out of the aether- stomping the ground hard enough for people around her to be jostled! "Get back here! Ooh!" Then, she pauses- seein' me…! Did I ever meet her? Uh-
"This is my friend Brad!" Ha-chan introduces me…! "He likes fairies and boobs." What! "And fluffles."
"Oh!" Okuu stares at her own chest. "I have boobs!"
...Genkan pulls on my arm! "Let's escape."
Flandre runs by us! "It's me!"
"And me!" And also Flandre!
"And me!" And also- wait-
"And me!" Four Flandres romp by us, runnin' Naruto style through the crowd!
...Kasen meanders into the space they used to be. "Uu- uuhm… hmm."
I come up to her! "Help! I'm growing boobs!"
She looks rattled! "Wh- what."
Genkan keeps pullin' me! "Actually-" She gets behind me instead, and just goads me. "You handle the storm." Uh oh.
"Get- get offa me- I'm not a guy! Fuck- mmh-" Wha- oh. This storm.
Mokou's gettin' slobbered on by a purple-haired fairy maid, and stumbles back towards us-
Cirno punches her ass repeatedly! "Ice is stronge~r!"
...For some reason, I feel like I saw this moment in a dream. A serious case of deja vu somehow, even though this situation is oddly specific. Specifically Cirno punching Mokou's ass, declaring ice is superior to fire.
Genkan goads me to navigate past them-
"Hey, sexy!"
"Dai-chan! Nab him!"
"Wh- aa-"
"Star! He's all yours! Get there first!"
I am indeed enveloped by the storm- but honestly, considering how fairies have ambushed me before, this is nothing new.
Suddenly, Star Sapphire is in my face! "Ooh! Top of the evening, cutie. Do- do you happen to have a dance partner, this-"
Mokou pushes the purple-haired fairy maid off herself! "Stop tryin'a rape me- you perfume-scented fuck-"
"Hey fuckboy!" Komi has a knife! "I'm gonna shank you!" Shit!
I grab onta Star to use her as a body shield-
WOOSH! Komi shoots past me-
Shunk! She stabs Mokou in the side. "Fha- aaa~!"
KABOOM! ...Mokou, the purple maid, and Komi were all eaten in a pillar of fire that promptly petered out right after.
...Star's suddenly close to my face! "Let's swap spit, sir." What the fuck're you!?
Genkan grabs her by the waist and her collar. "Fairy whore, begone." She does a gentle spin- and then-
"Woah!" She chucks Star off into the atmosphere!
"Hey!" Sunny Milk darts up before us! "...Wo- wow, your boobs are big…"
...Looking playfully aggressive, Genkan thrusts herself at Sunny-
"Uh- uhf!" Sunny gets tipped over, defeated by Genkan's ass. "Woah…"
Fwish! From behind, Cirno shoots ice at Genkan-
Fwoash! ...When Genkan heals from the impact on her butt, she narrows her eyes, turns to Cirno, and shoots ice back.
Fwoash! "Wa- woah!"Surprised by the healing, Cirno tips back an' onta her butt too.
...Oh. It's Letty we came up to, after we escaped the fairy horde.
"Oh." Letty smiles peacefully. "Hello, Genkan."
"Ha- hello, Whiterock…" Genkan's suddenly reverent. "I- aa- um-..." Genkan thrusts me in front of herself, like a body shield! "We- we're dating, now."
"Oh?" Letty smiles! "That's great. It felt like a fairly obvious outcome." Ah- yeah, t'you I'm sure.
"Re-... really?" Genkan's caught offguard by that too! "How?"
"...Snow women are known to be sort of sappy, you know?" Letty smiles wider! "Hopeless romantics at heart. It's really only natural, with enough exposure, you'd embrace one another."
"...I- um, I guess." Genkan looks nervous, dude. She's so cuddly.
Oh, shit. Keine's here-... aw! She has big horns, and mint hair! It's that time a' the month, dude…!
"Um…" Maria looks up along were-Keine.
Were-Keine blinks at her! "Oo-... Maria? What're you doin' here? Or- ahem-" ...Were-Keine adjusts her throat, an' glares down at her. "What're you lookin' at, little girl?"
"...It's a bit late fer that." Maria knew the jig was up, dude. "Are-... are you teacher? Kamishirasawa, I mean?"
"It-... it's not really hidden now, is it?" Were-Keine holds the horns on her own head, dude. "Uh. Ye- yeah. I'm just, um…"
Sally advances! "You're a youkai…!? The rumors-..."
...Keine blinks numbly. "And-... you- you're dead. What."
...Sally nods. "Oo- okay, fair counterpoint- but still…"
"Good." Maria doesn't seem ta care too much, though. "I wanted ta- to ask you, why all the fairies are horny."
"...Oo- oh." Keine smirks, fer some reason! "It's the mansion air, y'see. It perverts nature… quite literally. Such is why the fairies all in here're so tall, usually."
"Aah…" Maria sees, dude. "I guess that makes sense."
Kasen comes back up to us! "There's also something here that excites them. You see- certain natural sources are inherently enticing to fairies." I got a feelin' she's talkin' about me. "Notably, Fujiwara there- she emits a certain vitality, from her immortality. And…" Kasen runs her gaze over me!
"It's fever time!" I pull out a fat stack of yen bills- which're only like five thousand yen, but still! "Club Scarlet i~s…"
Fwish! I cast all the money into the air, and it becomes confetti! "Spectabula~r!"
All the fairies around us snap into the air to try and collect the money! Oh god- light is being blocked out by how many female bodies are in the air over us…! Everything smells like all perfume, an' I dunno how to feel about that!
"What have you done." Maria gives me a worried look…!
Genkan starts to goad me away! "Let's flee…"
"Help." Everything smells vaguely good, but in a messy way.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Eventually, we found a nice seat out on the patio. I see why the patio's a thing too- the Scarlet dining hall itself wasn't big enough to handle everyone who came to visit…!
From out here, through the huge, double-doored patio passage, we see the huge upside-down anti-grav Christmas tree. Freakin'- the toehoes are just everywhere, man…!
It's later in the evening, beneath the full moon.
"Weird that the taoists couldn't make it, ah? Not even a single one." S'that freakin' Murasa. Aw, it is. Ahoy…
She and some buddhists are at a nearby table, dude.
Aw, there's Stormy! "...I heard they got party-wiped, the absolute gits." That- is basically what happened…!
"...I don't think 'git' is proper vernacular." Shou criticizes…!
At our table, me and Genkan are seated together. Maria's looking snug, and Sally rests her elbows on the table.
"When… are we getting food?" Sally questions!
Freakin', s'a good question. "Y'might hafta find out- 'cause I have no clue!"
...Lookin' puzzled, Sally gets on up, and goes on the prowl.
How late is it? Sun already sat when we got here- and it's been some time…
"Why're you so close." Genkan notices me getting closer to where her bangs an' the santa hat meet!
"...You looked sniffable." I contest. "An' nuzzleable."
"Aw." ...That- wasn't me, that was Maria! It's really cute coming out of her! We're all intimidated by her soft energy…!
"Do- don't do that." Genkan tries to contain it!
"Why." Maria grins!
"...It's powerful." Genkan reaches the only conclusion!
Gettin' up, I start to move. "Aw- Sally, I should try and find the kitchen wit'cha."
...Genkan an' Maria promptly get up too. I dunno where Ha-chan went, I think she just got lost in the crowd. This is her home turf, so… honh.
"There's a kitchen?" She looks pleasantly confused!
"There is!" Yeehaw! "Let's-... attempt to find it!"
"...It'd beat idly sitting around, I suppose." Genkan admitted!
I run up to the main door into the dining room- but there's so many people here.
"Oh, boy." Wait… "Aw!"
In the small corridor between here and there- there's a service door in the midst!
Shoof- clunk. I push the door open- it's just one of those swinging ones, restaurant style- I navigate on into the kitchen, and…
Aw. Sakuya looks up from the food! "...What are you doing in here? No. Get-"
"Hold on!" I hold my arms up-
"No holding." I get refuted! "Get your girlfriend to hold you."
Sally browses in behind some of us, and I gesture to her! "Hey- we revived Maria's mom- long story- and she's a baker!"
Sakuya raises her brows! "...What. Re-... revived? She-..." Then, she realizes! "You turned her deceased mother into a jiangshi? Ex- excuse me?"
"Well… not us." I hold my arms up again! "We had a revolution- an' freed her from a certain necromancer's clutches, see. We might've made an enemy- but we saved her mom from servitude purgatory!"
"...I'm- just… not going to ask you how." Sakuya wipes her face off wit' her hand. "Well… discounting that, what did you expect from presenting her to me?"
"I, um…" Sally smiled a little! "Can I help cook?"
...Sakuya pursed her lips. "It's sort of a health hazard to have a corpse in the kitchen, isn't it? Hmh. Unless…"
She looked around. "Perhaps we can ask Lady Patchouli for some intel. She's quite busy, this time of year- but I do imagine something like this may fall into the service she offers. Come-... um…"
"Sally." Sally bows before her! "...Tha- thank you, for having me."
"Follow me."
With that, the two sauntered on off, leaving the kitchen… well, relatively unattended? I think she can just time stop and come back and things'll be fine…
...Genkan an' Maria look at me idly! I move to the back of the room- with the mistletoe- an' fold it open after the two've left. I dunno what I was plannin' on doin', maybe just watch them skedaddle, but…
shoof. shoof. shoof. shoof. There's someone pulling a huge sack along the hallway. And- it ain't Marisa, who you'd expect to be stealing literally everything.
They're in like, a full santa outfit. Man.
"Aw!" I call out to them! I'm gonna bet on her, 'cause y'know, Touhou. "That'sa big sack…!"
"Hmm…?" Panning his head around, he sees me, an' smiles. "Oh! Hello, there!"
He's actually an old man, with a long white beard, and a small pair a' glasses on his nose. He's obviously western, and his big cheeks're full a' red.
"...Alright- where's yer tanuki ears?" I'm a bit old ta be fallin' fer this one! "How 'bout your… Nue… things?"
"Ooh?" He's got this smug- some may call it jolly- smile. "Oh- are they not appearing? Oh, dear." He held his hands up as if to replicate tanuki ears. "How unfortunate."
...Wait. I turn- and Genkan slowly glides into the hall behind me.
"Hey- Genkan!" I confront her! "Put on yer black panties! We gotta dispel-"
Genkan throws her black panties in my face. "Dispel him yourself." ...How the fuck'm I gonna dispel him with a pair of panties myself…!?
Maria comes out behind her, and focuses on the tubby dude- or tanuki, I don't actually know. I wanna dispel him so we can get to the bottom of this! "...What's, um, that big bag for?"
He takes pause, leanin' back, 'fore turnin' to the bag an' patting on it. "Why, presents, of course. For the Scarlet sisters, as well as all the residents of this mansion. Oh… and you a~re..." He points at me. "Bradley-" He says my actual last name. "...You know, your parents are worried awfully sick about you."
"What the fuck." I let a curse fly! "...Mamizou wouldn't know 'bout that shit. Nue either!"
...Genkan's givin' me a little look! "Is your name actually Bradley?" Nnghk-
"Although-" Big man nodded, turnin' to the presents. "I know Gensokyo is quite a special situation. Still… it wouldn't hurt to pay them a visit or two, once in awhile, you know? Anyway…" He gave me a smile, an' leaned closer. "I'm sorry, where do you live, again? Do you consider it to be here, or with your loved one, in her… I suppose I have to call it as it is: cave?"
Hold on. "Are you actually Santa."
...He beamed, and held his arms out. "Whatever would give you that idea? ...Why, if you think me a thief, feel free to bring me to justice!"
...Genkan leans closer to me! "Now that I'm paying attention… his magical signature is-... um…"
Maria steps back! "That's-... woah."
Fwi- Click! ...I summon Fallen Comrade, and uh… "Do-... are ya actually good with me attackin' ya!?"
"Well, of course!" Santa beams! "Kids love to play rough all the time. Don't worry. You won't be able to hurt me."
...WOOSH! Comin' at him, I swing-
fwish. The blow passes straight through him- two snowflake-styled sigils flaring to life around him, and snowflakes billowing from where my hanger passed through him.
"Ooh!" He tilted his chin up! "Nice swing!"
Okay, so Santa's just literally invincible.
...Genkan raises a hand-
KRING! An ice blade erupts under Santa-
FWOASH! FWOASH! FWOASH! He heals three times, light flaring from his form, as the ice blade is absorbed into him. Well- of course he's ice-elemental…! And- massively so, if a physical blade means nothing to him, just 'cause it's made of ice. That's like, 300% resistance, or more…!
"Fire!" Maria tries her luck with a basic fire spell-
Fwoom! The fireball rolls up ta Santa-
He catches it in the palm of his mitten. "Oo~h…" As if dazzled, he beholds the fireball. "The fire's always beautiful, this time of year."
Fwoash. He heals some, absorbing the fireball too. What.
"I see why ya don't care about violence." Santa's freakin' actually immortal, or something…!
"Ho ho ho…" Oh shit. "Let me tell you… it comes with the job!" Now that's a health insurance plan…!
He looks back at the bag, and pats it. "Now… if one of you could help me pull this bag to the lobby, I'd appreciate it!"
Genkan looks amused! "...Considering how mythic you're made out to be, I'd have expected more physical strength from you."
"Ooh, y'know…" He shrugs some. "This job can be tiring. This mansion is no joke, either, and all the fairies do dearly love to play. I make sure to make this place one of my first stops- because it's like the fairies never sleep anyway!"
He rubs his beard some, stroking it. "Of course… there's more tiring stops later, but it's all about pacing myself. I have quite some time between cities, continents and pocket realms, you see. All them milk an' cookies…"
Pocket realms…? Wait… "Are there more things like Gensokyo, out there?"
"Ooh? Aw- now I can't go on about all of that." Santa doesn't wanna break the world order…! "Anyway… oh!"
woosh. Genkan lifts the whole sack effortlessly. "...Where do you want us to put it?"
"...Oh, why thank you!" He gives Genkan a brief nod, an' starts to move! "Follow me. The Scarlets have a tree in the lobby, see."
"Um…" Maria's a little intimidated! "So… um, you're really real, then?"
Santa chuckles. "Ho~h… I sure hope so! Normally- I'm more particular 'bout keeping myself secret… but in pocket worlds, stealth like that is just too much work. Let's see anyone hide from a vampire in her own mansion!"
...Uh, oh. As we pass down the hall, there's just a single, green-haired fairy girl on one of the decorative side tables, her legs raised to the air as she presents her panties an' booty to us.
"Hi Santa I love you!" I- think I see what he means about the fairies now! "Pl- please-... I-"
Santa waved his hand, and a blue-tinted wind blew up and past the fairy girl.
thud. She rolled off the table, onto the floor, and fell asleep. "I- eaa- aa-... Sa- Santa…"
...With a small, intimidated look, Santa leans towards me and gestures to 'er! "See what I mean…? Oho~h…"
Yeah, geesh. I wonder how Mrs. Claus feels…!
We come to the lobby easily…
"Ah." Remilia's in here, sitting on the railing, smiling down at us. "I see you're on time as usual. Santa Claus."
"Ho, ho, ho!" Santa waves at her! "Merry Christmas!"
thump. Genkan sat the gift bag down near the tree.
Marchin' over to it, Santa began taking out presents, an' the bag didn't look like it was gettin' any smaller. "Let's see…"
"How are you this evening?" Remi slowly drifted down, landing quietly before us. "Are the fairies as licentiously pleasant as usual?"
...Santa gave her a stink-eye! "Ooh, I don't know about that."
"I'm unsure about something." Genkan voices. "...Why do you place presents under trees? Is there some sort of symbolism to it?"
Pausing, Santa smiles up at 'er. "Well… it's just to give every present some nice wrapping, is it not? In truth, it's a really old tradition, back from when paper was first invented. Of course, myself, I likened to some of the good-looking wraps that were popular back when I first became Santa Claus. And, I guess I just stuck with it. The rest of the world doesn't seem to mind!"
Santa's already got like, thirty presents out. "Do you mind if I place you and Maria's presents out here, too?"
"...That's probably fine." Genkan supposed. "We'll likely stay the evening."
...I dunno what to even say. Santa's here, man. What do I ask. Like, holy shit.
"Do you feel up to making an appearance tonight?" Remilia asked 'em… "I'm sure the crowd would love to see you."
"Oo~h…" Santa shook his head. "I'm not so much one for public appearances."
...Standing up, Santa pat the presents. Specifically, he patted a really tiny one at the top of the huge pile he laid out! He's definitely got it down to a freakin' system. I bet he's gotta do it all the time!
Oh, man.
"Awwh." Remilia brought her arms together and pouted…! "Not even a little one?"
...Santa pursed his lips. "Hmm… well. Maybe a little one."
"Fufufu…" Remilia liked that! "You're too easy, Santa."
...Standing fully from the presents, Santa pointed his fingers at us- and specifically me! "Remember! No~ opening presents until Christmas morning! ...And don't give me any of that 'it's technically Christmas morning right now' business. You know what I mean."
"Aa- alright…!" I put my arms up! If you say so, Santa!
When we turn away from the tree, Koi's here on a couch, holding up her legs to show off her ass and pusspuss in a similar manner to that other fairy.
"He~y, Santa~." She looked pasted her huge thighs, and leered! "Like what you see~?"
"No." Santa held up a hand!
"Wh-..." Koi blinked, before undoing her mating posture, and just curling up on the couch, and closing her eyes. "G'night…" Wow. She was summoned to sleep.
Oh- of course Santa would have the power to put kids to sleep. When I think about it, it makes so much sense…
"There's a whole mega-plate of cookies in it, too. This appearance of yours, that is." Remilia supplies from behind! "And you can have a whole gallon, in a nice, magic glass."
...Santa beams at me! "What can I say? Vampires have mastered the art of persuasion."
Fairy vagina? Nope. Milk an' cookies? Hell yeah.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
An' here we are. For some reason, Santa's implored me an' Genkan to come with 'em. There's a balcony over the doorway between the patio an' the inside dining room. That's where Santa's gonna show up!
Well, I say, 'gonna', but we're standin' out of frame, 'inside' the walling. We're uh, not in the 'backrooms' area, we're just in little closet-like inlets at the sides of this balcony, led into from below by stairs that lead off into some mansion hallways.
Santa steps out onto the balcony, and holds his arms out! "Ho~, ho~, ho~! Merry Christmas!"
We hear some of the crowd!
"Wow! Remi even picked up a mall Santa…!"
"He looks really in-character, though."
"That's a huge beard!"
"Wonder how they hid the tanuki ears…"
"I bet that's Sakuya with makeup and magic." Wow…!
Understandably, everyone's very skeptical!
...Reimu calls out, looking slightly drunk in the distance. "Do a tri~ck!"
"Wahoo~!" Marisa's spinnin' around in the air fer some reason, right overhead…!
"Heheh…" Santa chuckles! "Alright- alright… I can't stay very long, but I just had to stop in and say hello."
"You know-... I was just about to say Gensokyo was one of my favorite places to visit. And- that's not very honest of me, because I say that almost every time I visit anywhere!"
"But, Gensokyo still has a special place in my heart. Everything here's so-... colorful, and magical. It reminds me a lot of the North Pole!"
Someone near Santa comments 'quietly'- but loud enough for us all to hear…! "Yaknow- Remi would think a visit from Santa's excitin'..." I think that was Yuugi there…
Grinnin', Santa continued! "I know it just turned Christmas a couple minutes ago… but Merry Christmas anyway, everybody! And, with that note…"
He gestured fer me and Genkan! "You two. Come on out here. Aw- don't be shy. We're all friends here, today! It's Christmas!"
"Wh-" Genkan compacts, but does as asked- and I kinda stumble along!
Y'know, normally I don't care about public shit, 'cause I don't think a lot of the public, but this particular public is all of Gensokyo's notable girls, so I'm… a little tense!
Clap, clap, clap! Santa begins clapping, and the audience somehow has the urge to clap along…! Uh-
Fwi- Click! I change into just my camou-mono now, takin' off the Kaguya wig…!
"Alright." Santa pans to us. "Now- the reason I brought these two on, uh… balcony with me, is because they reminded me a lot of myself and Mrs. Claus."
"Freakin'-" son- "how do you know that!?" I contest him on-stage! "Where're your eyes in the sky…!?"
...Santa holds his arms out! "How do you think I tell if you've been naughty or nice?" Oh, fuck, he's omnipresent. Is- is it me, or is Santa actually scarier than Yukari!? "And I can tell, this year, you've been exceptionally nice. And, sure, you've had your unpleasant moments here or there- but so has everyone. You're a good person at heart, Bradley." Stop- nnh…! There is no -ley, in Brad! Not anymore, son…!
"That said, I've seen the love you two share." He held his hands to his heart. "It warms my heart."
...I look at the crowd, and then at Santa!
Ha-chan floats up before us! "Yeah! Brad and Genkan are dating!"
"...Whaa~t!?" Half the crowd goes apeshit! They didn't all exactly go 'whaat' but y'know, the murmur of violence that ensued was palpable! An' some people really did just lose it…!
Reimu's standing up! "Wh- aa-..."
Marisa claps her hands! "Yee~haw! Aw- man!"
...Santa gives us a bewildered look! "Anime confuses me, I must admit." Goddamn it- I can't decide whether or not Santa's incredibly cursed or amazingly blessed…!
"Just-" I shake my head- and-... I dunno! "I'm gonna shove a fluffle up yer hat, Santa…!"
...Reaching into his hat, Santa takes out a fluffle, and I look enthralled in response! "Ho~, ho ho ho!"
"Merry Christmas to all- and to all, a good night!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 108
/ / full inventory pending, to be added to this chapter later maybe...
NEW ITEMS (BRAD):
A Microwave - Yeah. Drop it on enemies for massive physical damage!
Board Games - Genkan bought us some board games. They're board, and they're game. They're all in Japanese and the box art is fookin' vague, so y'know, up in the air what they are...
Various Books - More moon runes! Aaa~h!
NEW ITEMS (HANA):
AC/DC T-shirt - Does anyone know this band exists in Gensokyo.
NEW ITEMS (GENKAN):
Teal Santa Hat - I want to have sex with my girlfriend. She's so freakin'- cute dude oh my god-
STATS:
100% freezing resistance.
50% ice resistance.
NEW ITEMS (MARIA):
Brass Contraption - A big, metal, slightly weathered and maybe rusty staff with a big hollow bell shape at the tip.
STATS:
100% Dispel resistance.
50% Bomb resistance.
Increases max HP by 20%.
Telekinesis becomes 50% more effective, and 50% more efficient. (uses less MP)
Increases the strength of non-elemental skills.
SKILLS:
Balls of Brass - Maria summons three big spiky brass balls, which she can shoot at people and things to impale them. Non-elemental physical damage.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
MERRY CHRISTMAS, holy shit…!
it's been another year, yo. s'time to party, son!
wanted this chapter out way earlier today, but hey s'done by Christmas! mission's completed…!
was a little shorter than i liked, and the batch may have some awkwardish points that could use some polished pace, but overall i like how it's gone
...i'm gonna take an extra day off of life itself however, 'cause i spent a good chunk of Christmas day workin' on this chapter...!
it's just a little late, but I hope y'all enjoy this holiday week
the world's alive, yo, things're happening, yo! i'm so PUMPED
==== shameless discord plug ====
it's also the two year anniversary of our Discord server!
https SEMICOLON SLASH SLASH SON discord DOHT gg SLASH mcVps2R
at this point we're a small but tight-knit community of friendly noobs from across the globe; we're all kinda boisterous but we're generally friendly!
==== AUTHOR'S NOTE continued ====
reviving sally last chapter, it felt like a weird moment, but honestly i feel like gimping seiga out of her killbot was like, the most apt way something like that coulda happened and it'd not feel like bullshit
i never even planned on sally becoming a character, it was definitely a thing that just kinda developed bu~t she's a fun character for some variety
she's not necessarily gonna be a permanent party fixture- especially if she moves on to the afterlife, but she does add some fun variety
as always, see you all next time!
an' MERRY CHRISTMAS, and a happy new year!
~ a FREAKIN' SKOOLATOON
