(in which when the)

...Well, that was in no way weird or awkward! I say that, but it really wasn't that awkward. The whole 'Santa announcing me and Genkan are butt-buddies' thing. 'Cause like really, only fairies reacted.

We're now in the halls around that balcony area again, after we got shown offstage!

"Mmn…" Genkan looks mixed. She's slush, dude. "This Santa guy, person… he's strangely implacable." He kinda is…! "Despite his good will, he made a show of… testing us? I suppose?"

I think he just felt like grabbin' our goats! "I think he just wanted to bamboozle us! An' he kinda succeeded!"

Genkan makes a fair expression. Awh. "That's a way of putting it."

Ohp- an' then there's ol' saint Nick.

"Alright…" Santa adjusts his coat, and his belly freakin' jiggles. "Well, it was nice seeing you two. All of you."

Question! "Do we really remind you of you and Mrs. Claus…!?"

Santa chuckles! "Ho ho ho… well. Any happy couple would. But, you know… there's something about the snow which just reminds me of the North Pole. I bet you can't imagine why!"

Aw, gee, yeah. Genkan, snow woman. Me, not a snow woman.

Genkan has a similar train of thought. "This Mrs. Claus… she wouldn't be a youkai, would she?"

Santa gives 'er a look! "Well, not when I first met her! Me and her… we figure ourselves human. Not human in blood anymore, maybe, but good at heart. Any being, if they show the heart, can be good. Youkai, animal, human, or otherwise."

Then, he's got a big smile. "And, let's just say, you two are definitely an example of something like that."

...Y'know. I guess we are.

Genkan can't really argue with that either. She just kinda stares ahead gently…

"Now, I have to get a good move-on…" Santa's gotta go already, man. "Time stops for no man… and I am certainly no man! Ho ho ho!" Freakin'...!

"That's-... awful." Genkan's fightin' her smile! "For- some reason…" 'Cause it is…!

"Ho, ho, ho!" Oh god, Santa intensifies…! "Merry Christmas, Bradley! Genkan!"

As he kinda just saunters down the hall, uuh… me and Genkan just kinda share a look.

"...I think I see what you like about this Christmas holiday." Genkan decides. "It's very strange, and very weird, but… it works. I suppose it suits you."

I grin at 'er! "What's that supposed ta mean…?"

"I'm saying you're weird." Genkan remarks! "Also, very strange."

...Did we take the right hall down off the stage? I think we abandoned Maria an' Hana on the other side, or somethin'.

"Y'can't spell strange without range." I grin! "...I'm in range!"

Genkan looks worried! "What's-... what does that mean?"

I'm in range to enrage, son. "Hot local farmers in your area. Talk to one right now, in ten easy clicks."

...Genkan has no response to my madness! "Where are the others? Did we go the right way…?"

"They're dating hot local farmers in your area." I declare…!

Genkan snorts! "Nn- no they're not. ...You're not going to be able to keep that energy up for much longer. I can see it under your eyes."

I beam- kinda weakly, but I do! "I am going to stay up all night, ta Christmas Morning. I am energy. We'll find a way, dude." In these merry, Christmasy, silver-gold gilded halls, there's no way I can lose!

Genkan gets closer, her stare fixed on mine. "That could be fun. I like when you look tired. It's… I guess you'd say that it's hot."

...That's fucking straightforward! "Is-... is it?"

"Yes."

I look over her sweater, then at her smiling face.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====

I haven't found much time to read novels, lately. Or, um, anything.

The four of us all found a nice, cozy study in the middle of the mansion, somewhere. Sakuya helped. She's not here anymore; she just showed up to show us here.

I'm so relaxed, I could snooze right now. The night's getting painfully late. I can hardly focus on the book anymore…

It was this cute little story, about some… place in Europe, I forget. But, umm… the main character's-... well, is there a certain main character? Maybe a couple? ...Okay, it's kind of- all over the place, but um…

I'm too tired to even summarize it.

"Gh- Genkan…" Brad and Genkan are doing god-knows-what in the background. "I love you…"

Brad is seconds away from the biggest sleep of his life. Genkan seems to be psychologically abusing him.

They're on this cool long-chair… thing. It's like a bed, sort of, but it's still a chair. Kinda weird, but I really like it. I'm on my own.

Hana's already gone. She fell asleep before the fireplace, just kinda sprawled out on the softer carpet laid out before it.

"So you've told me." Genkan talks quietly, but the room's so quiet I can hear. "...Normally, when you get tired, you just crash and burn. Right now, you're… only technically awake."

Brad chuckled. "It- it's 'cause you're huggin' me. So damn soft…"

"I- I'm not that soft… aah. Hey-..."

"You're soft."

"Stop- aa-... nhm. You- weirdo."

...I just place the book on my face. Good night.

Huh. This is really uncomfortable, actually. I guess I'll just roll over.

"...I don't think you're going to stay up all night, Brad."

"There's oo- only one solution." Brad fought off the lounge chair thing. "Genkan. We gotta-... find adventure."

"Aa- adventure…?" Genkan sounds amused.

"Adventure." Brad slowly affirms. "...Ye- yeah, let's go!"

He starts to get up-

Genkan decides otherwise. "You can't just grope me for no reason, and expect to get away with it. Come here."

"Whoa- uuuhuhu!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

I'm dead.

"Nn- nngh…" I awaken in a nice, warm mattress.

I don't even know how long I survived. I think I made it a good like, four more hours before me and Genkan had enough of that shit!

In summary: I got so tired I started flirting with Genkan with abandon, and then she finished me off.

First morning thought: I gotta flirt with her. I want her to pout at me and get all mixed-up.

That's the morning wood talking, probably. But, it's quickly defeated by another piercing, slammin', echoing thought.

I sit up explosively.

"It's Chirstmas!" The world has to know.

Genkan pulls me back down. "Nnh- qu- quiet…"

No bust, snow woman or half-lidded gaze will flip my surrender switch today! "Genkan! It's Christmas…!"

"I- I will drain the life from you." Genkan gets icy! "Let's see you yell then…" Oh my god, dude. She's so snug when she's offended.

I push against her- to break free of the bed-

She hugs me, tight. "Return to sleep." Ough- god- nngh…! Fuck…! It's- not painful, it's just- so disarming!

...For a moment, she thinks she's won, wrapping her arms further around me. "That's… right. Settle down. You can wake up later." Wh- why though…?

Idea.

CREAK. I pull myself and Genkan along the bed.

"Bu- Brad." Genkan already knows.

CREAK! I roll her onto her back, by rolling along my own entire back and using the momentum!

"Eeh- ah…" She takes pause, now under me.

Holy shit. Wait, this was a bad idea. Now I'm on top of her, and...

Her cheeks redden. "Nn- now you've done it…"

Well…

I squish my chest against hers, and-

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Bam! I kick open the door to Maria's room!

"Aa- ah…!?" Maria's sittin' on the bed, reading! Ha-chan looks conked out, still dead by the now quiet fireplace.

"It's Christma~s!" I run inside!

...Genkan slowly lags in behind me, her hair all messy.

Maria gives us a look! "...I wa- was wondering when you'd come. The fact I got to wake up… means Genkan probably held you up."

...Genkan blinks, half-loafified. "It's... more like I somehow tempted him just right, and he descended upon me."

"I held Genkan up." I summarize the events after the scene break! "Did it- really take like, an hour overall…? Well- whatever!"

I come on up to Ha-chan! "Ha-chan! It's Christmas!" Time ta repay your waking-me-up debt!

whump. I roll her over, onto her back!

"Wh- ah…!" Ha-chan blinks her eyes open, awestruck! "Aah…!?"

I shake her by the shoulders! "It's Christma~s!"

...She beams, one eye half-lidded! "Chr- Christma~s…" She's excited but still dead inside from just waking up! It's dangerously adorable, somehow!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

It's Christma~s! Christmas day, in the morning!

We're in the main lobby! A few hours late, maybe, but s'better late than never!

Oh, huh. Most a' the presents are still here! I wonder if the fairy staff handled their presents else-... where. Oh. The entire right side of the lobby is a sea of giftwrap of various colors. The left I guess is the 'not a fairy' gifts section.

The sun's piercingly bright, coming in through… the very limited amount of tiny ceiling-oriented windows, because Remi is a vampire and as such doesn't believe in the sun!

"Yeah!" Instantly, Ha-chan takes off! Straight for the gift wrap-drenched side of the room!

Genkan remains close to me, 'cause we both just got done with special cuddles.

Maria pokes us both in the butt with the tip of her staff! "Scoot."

Genkan drifts just slightly forward. It's not until a few seconds later she begins actually questioning this. "Wh- nn- why…?"

By the way, Remilia's just here. An' her expression is flat…!

"You two have too much fun together." Remi's somewhat loud greeting draws Genkan's attention back!

"I had to give Genkan back pats." I look innocent. "She's very pattable."

Centering on her, Genkan looks carefree. "I required maintenance."

"Morning maintenance…" Remilia smiles! "I see. If he's done playing in the snow, he may open his gifts."

Wait, question. "...Has anyone else opened their gifts?"

"Sakuya rests." Remi clarifies. "For now. My sister also rests. Meiling is awake, barely. Patchouli goes without saying… though I may clarify: she's resting."

Oh my god. There's a little radio near the tree, playing Christmas morning tunes. Yes, dude!

"How's the more powerful vampire asleep?" Maria wants to know! "But not you? You were even hosting…"

"I conserve my energy." Remi counters. "Flandre expended it all at once in an all-out burst attack. She and Marisa went outside to spar in the snow. Marisa won, obviously. She also spent most of the evening in four-of-a-kind mode."

Aw, I see. Quite literally just wasted all her energy…!

I come up to the presents. There's a bunch here!

"Yours- and your friends, are to the right." Remi explains. "You'll know."

Aw, I see. Not quite under the tree anymore, but since we don't actually live here, s'to be expected! Remi probably sorted stuff… or maybe that was Sakuya. Seems more like a Sakuya job t'me.

I see some a' the shit Santa dropped off the other evening, among some other strange new things. Oh boy, oh boy…

shoof, shoof. I start moving some presents further away from the tree so we can actually sit down and open 'em! Man- some of 'em are big, somehow…

SHOOF. Oh! Genkan helps out, telekinetically pulling the like everything else I didn't drag closer to us.

"Yeehaw." Alright… "Ho, ho, ho…!"

...Genkan gives me a look! "I'm starting to see what Santa means now. If you keep laughing like that, you're going to become him sooner or later."

Y'know being a raid boss wouldn't be so bad, actually. However, "I don't wanna be fat…!"

Maria snorts. "You're more in danger of starving to death. I don't think you have to worry about that."

Genkan- reaches fer me… "Oh. That's right. Your multi-vitamin…" How's she know. I'm especially impressed she remembered after riding the bliss-high of sex.

She takes one of the vitamins, after drawing the bottle of 'em from my bag. And then she holds it up to my mouth. "Say 'aah'."

"Oh~." I still open my mouth…!

Genkan feeds me the vitamin- and also ruffles my hair for no damn reason, but it makes me feel good somehow…

Crunch, crunch. This vitamin's tangy… an' powdery.

An' now, the presents. With all of the morning routine finished, and Genkan properly cuddled, I am ready to become Christmas.

"Should we take turns?" Maria wondered…! "I wouldn't mind…"

Rip! Rii~p! Ha-chan's opening whatever she got in the background already…!

"Sure." Genkan doesn't care either! "...I think Brad's the most eager of all of us."

I rub my hands together! "Oh boy, oh boy…"

Alright. Let's see what I ended up getting…!

Let's start with the card. To: Brad and Friends, from: Santa. Hoh.

Ri~p. I open the envelope easily, and look it over. It's in English, so I can read it, but it also has a side two in Japanese. I assume it's the same message in both languages!

I just realized. Santa is probably omni-lingual. Oh shit…!

Anyway, as fer what it says...

'Merry Christmas!

When I received your lists, just in the nick of time, I have to admit: I was surprised. Most of you had asked not only for things for yourselves, but for presents to your closest friends as well.

I didn't want you all to let your own wishes go unanswered either, so I included some Christmas surprises! I hope you all enjoy them!

Mr. and Mrs. Claus'

Hoh, shit. We got some surprises, too. Oh boy.

I hand the card to Genkan. "S'from Santa! He's got some extras fer us here, too!"

"...Ooo." Genkan makes a soft noise in vague confirmation, and starts to read the Japanese part a' the card…

Anyway. What's my first actual present…? I don't even remember askin' fer much. I was kinda indecisive!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Two plant hangers. I have obtained two plant hangers, yo.

Magnetic North, a magnetic hanger of cobalt- or sapphire- crystals which drains the magic of foes it strikes. It also drops those MP prize bubbles everywhere on impact! Apparently Maria requested something like this for me. It's… really weird, but cool!

Second, the Spirit of Giving. Santa specifically gave me that one. It's a candy cane, with a firm graspable region!

It's also broken as fuck. Y'wanna know why? It can cast Cure.

I thrust my hand holding that plant hanger into the air. "Heal."

Woash- Fwoash. White magic rolls up Genkan's body, and she gasps. "Aa-... oh."

...I feel more hollow inside after casting that! But it can't be denied; healing magic is really fucking strong!

"Ooh." Maria made an 'o' shape with her mouth. "That's actually really useful…"

Yeah- you can say that again! "I- get the feeling I'm gonna be casting this a lot…!"

Genkan is however clueless to the harsh realities of video game mechanics. "What makes you say that?"

Yeah, gee. "...Call it a hunch."

Genkan got me… or rather, asked Santa ta get me, a crown. How… good, but also strange!

It's a crown of ice. It's literally called 'Crown of Frost'.

"Surprise!" I put it on! "I'm the new holy roman emperor!" It's partially ice resistant, and makes you immune to freezing. It does remind me of those roman head leaf things, except made of ice, apparently.

Oh, man, this is great, it's gonna get tangled in my curls and everything. I'm so glad I can change equipment without actually physically taking shit off…!

"...Do you like it?" Genkan wants to know! "In retrospect, it fits you better in my head. I'd envision you… actually wearing something to go with it. It looks strange with that camouflage kimono."

Yeah- I bet! "I like it! It's kinda funny, 'cause if I actually hunted for an emperor's crown on my own, it'd be really freakin' pretentious…!"

Lastly, I got a freakin' ring. It's an actually useful accessory Santa threw in on his own. 'Sighing of the Moon'. It's… 100% moon damage resistance. Yeah, that's it.

"Considering the power some things emanate, I can see why it's only a good idea to wear a limited amount of things." Genkan lampshades the weird three-accessories limit…! "With jewelry or artifacts like that, I can see the power offsetting the magic of other items."

Maria nods. "Yeah. I don't think I wanna know how some of this stuff acts when things go haywire." Uh oh. ...We gotta find out, man.

Wait, I need my mana points back. Hol' up.

I walk up to Remilia who's just kinda watching. "Yo- stand still."

"Um…" She's jaded, as I grab her arm, and start whacking it with the magnetic hanger! "Wh- ow. Ow. What-"

Aw! Those mana bubble prizes bounce out all over the floor from each hard tap!

Walking up to them, they coalesce into my form, and I feel myself-... become fuller, I guess. More whole. Hoh.

"I can't believe I'm a mana vampire." I leer at Remi…! Whatever I just did shoulda earned me an achievement 'cause of the irony!

Remi gives me a focused look. "...I'd take your blood for that, but I already know exactly what you eat." Yeehaw!

"Hold on." Genkan comes up to me! "You forgot to open this."

...The fuck's this? Did someone get me socks? I'll freakin' dip 'em in donut glazing if they did.

Ri~p, ri~p. Wait, it's from Ha-chan. Aw. What'd she-...

Oh. Ha-chan got me some new panties. They're store-new, white and blue, with stripes. It's a like, fifteen pack.

We all just kinda stare at them blankly. An' then I start grinning…!

Genkan takes them back!

I take them back from her!

She takes them, an' whaps me with 'em!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"Brad, what is this?" Genkan eyes a present taller than she is.

"Good question." I asked for a lot of things for her, so it could be a lot of things! "I wonder if it's an entire ice cream cart." If it's actually that, I'm going to find Santa.

"It better not be." Genkan leers at me, before coming up to it…!

Rip. Rii~p. Rip! After some big pulls, she undoes the huge box's wrapping, and-

Shoof! She cuts it open in one hand-wavy motion, ice snapping the cardboard into parts. And…

Oh. Oh, dude! Yeah man! Dude, Santa knows!

"What." Genkan's mouth goes agape…

It's a fucking huge pirate cannon, with brass-gold rings on its metal seams.

"Dude- Merry Christmas, Genkan!" I beam! "I got you a Destroyer of Lands…!"

"A what." Genkan's intimidated! "Is-... is that a- pirate cannon?"

I nod in confirmation! "It's a pirate cannon."

"Brad, she already has a bazooka thing." Maria contests in the background! "...That she doesn't even use."

"Brad, I can't even put it anywhere." Genkan affirms! An' then, after looking thoughtful, she continues. "...If it fell on you, it'd outright crush you." I like how that just kinda came to her…!

"Yeah man!" Yahoo! "Dude- try it out!"

Remilia's between us! "Maybe don't. Maybe don't do that? Not in here? Not on my property in general? Thanks." Wahaha!

...Backing away from the giant pirate cannon, Genkan focuses instead on this yellow-red wrapped gift. It's in a small, flatish box. Ooh, I wonder…

"From Brad." Genkan notes. "...Oh. Patchouli left a note too. She says you're welcome, Brad." Oh boy!

"Aaw…" I'm not nervous, but I'm really interested! "Ho ho…"

Genkan snorts at me, before opening it up too.

Ri~p, rip. Easily opening this up, she works the box open more plainly, and beholds…

"This…" She draws a yellow-red kimono, fit with images of warmth and the sun. "It's… a kimono."

There's a small card on it that informs us of its stats and stuff.

Oh. Oh, wow. Sun and fire resistance, but… it also completely negates Genkan's ice and freezing resistance. It basically trades her ice healing for not being weak to fire and the summer sun.

Basically what I asked for, but the drawback… is pretty big!

"This…" Genkan feels it over, and takes in the details.

"It's… fer the summer." I clarify, if it wasn't obvious. "So if we wanna go anywhere, you don't have to be uncomfortable."

...Genkan looks at me, and smiles. "It's… I don't know what to say. It's pretty."

Turning further to me, she leans in- and pecks me on the lips.

"It might take getting used to… but, you're willing to make an effort for me." Genkan gave me a nod. "When the time comes, I'll make an effort for you. Because I love you too."

Ho- holy shit.

I swallow, and smile. I- I don't know what ta say either…!

She carefully sets it aside, 'cause she's got more gifts to open, actually!

An even smaller box, this one from Maria. It's wrapped in red and brown. "Oh? You got me something, Maria?"

"We- well, yeah." Maria affirms…! "Why wouldn't I…? I didn't know if Santa worked like that or not, so I… tried. He apparently does, so..."

Rip, rip. Genkan rips the wrapping off in one motion, and slides the top off the box with another.

...Aw! Chinese dress shoes! They're teal!

Maria smiles nervously. "I- I figured they'd be easier to dance in than sandals." S'a very practical gift compared to the two things I got her…!

Genkan smiles. "Thank you, Maria. I'd… never thought of it, but in retrospect, I probably should have been looking for dancing or martial shoes of some kind."

Lastly, another small Santa bonus. It's the same size as the ring he got me, so… he pro'lly got Genkan a ring of some kind too.

rip. Genkan discards the tiny wrapping without effort, and folds open the small box.

It's a ring called 'Dying of the Light'. Like my ring, it's 100% resistance to some random element, this one being sun. It's got a huge amber in the center.

"Oh…?" Genkan doesn't look like she knows what to think of it! "...I suppose this pairs well with the kimono you got me." Oh, shit, it kinda does. It'd leave her at 200% sun resistance. She'd heal just from walkin' around in the sun…!

With that, she turns to me.

She gives me a big hug. I hug her back, feeling a weird feeling wash over me. It's… comfort.

"I love you." God…

I squeeze her tight back. "I- I love ya too…"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Ha-chan's near us now! "Someone got me a moustache comber- and I don't know how to feel about it…" Um…!

It's time fer Maria to open her gifts!

"If you got me a pirate cannon, I'm gonna mess you up." Maria gives me a firm look…!

You see, I have ordered her an outfit, in three parts! I have no idea how much of it Santa actually made good on!

Rip- rip! Rii~p! Maria attacks her gifts, dude!

First, Maria opened one of the smallest gifts. Oh- shit, it's something I got her!

A snake-pattern accented eyepatch. "Brad, why." Maria gives me a look…! "Why?"

Um! "Dude- eyepatches help in the sun! The one eye left open's like, doubly resistant to bein' blinded!"

...Maria purses her lips. "I didn't know that- but still, why? I'd look-... I don't know how I'd look with this on, but 'uncool' is the word that comes to mind…!"

I beam! "Wait 'till ya see what else I got ya!"

"Oh, gods…" Maria is intimidated! "Don't spoil it. Lemme just…"

Rip! Rip! She opens a flattish thing, and…

It's a wrapped t-shirt with a picture of a donut on it!

"...I expected something more offensive." Maria likes it! "This doesn't really go with the eyepatch, but… it's pretty cute. Thanks, I guess, Brad." Hoh.

thud. But the real horror is then unveiled.

The shirt randomly summons donut backup to deter would-be intruders. On the ground near us, a pink sprinkled donut has descended from above, and struck the ground super hard, annihilated on impact.

"Nev- nevermind." Maria fights a wild grin…! "I- I see what makes this awful now."

Setting it aside, she picks up a misshapen gift. "Um…"

shoof- shoof. The gift moves as she holds it.

She gives me a haunted look.

I'm fluffy. I give her a delayed thumbs up!

"Don't- do that." She gives the present the most spooked look possible, before opening it!

Rip, rip. Aw…

A fluffle raises its fins! "hi mom!"

...Maria gives me a dead look. Then, the fluffle escapes her grasp! "He- hey…"

It climbs onto her head, and rests amidst her fwoofy brown hair. "home"

"It's a hat!" I give her a thumbs-up! "It randomly summons friendly fluffles."

"If everything you got me is a joke, I'm gonna hurt you." Maria exudes soft energy, dude.

Rip! Rip! And, finally… the second-ta-last gift from me is…

Jeans. They're jeans.

"What're… oh." Maria unfolds 'em, and holds them up. "...They're a little small, don't you think?"

"Blame Santa if they are!" That's weird!

Rip! Rip! Rip… Next on my outfit list is something very weird 'cause I was running out of ideas!

Two giant fucking massive golden treads, based on the boots of the God Emperor of Man from Warhammer 40k!

Maria just stares at them in vague vexation and awe! "...What are these?" What're tho~se!?

I'll tell her! "They're the mighty boots. Mighty Boot mode has been engaged."

They're the God Empress of Mankind's Golden Treads, and they confer some big resistances to holy things, like ice, thunder, and… holy! Like, 50% resistances!

I hold up a finger. "Even better, they ain't Nike!"

"Huh?" Maria is fluffy and clueless.

"Nothing…" I slouch, looking gentle. "Insert fluffle joke here."

Not that I have anything against the traditional Nike shoe, but I will never unremember the kids from my high school who spent hundreds of dollars of saved money on collectors Nikes at a shoe-convention. They were also dudes, for the record, and also had no money or property aside from those collector shoes they couldn't wear because they were collector shoes.

Three hundred dollars gone, a pair of shoes you can't wear, and fifteen minutes worth of happy points with people you don't actually care about but you don't know it yet. Holy shit!

Lookin' over the entire repertoire of random shit I got her, Maria starts ta move. "Let me put all of this on. I'll um, come back, to open my other things…"

Aw boy, dude.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

thump. thump. thump. Maria treads across the carpet in her giant, golden boots, which frame the bottom of her jeans the same way a neon green LEGO baseplate frames a random dim-blue plate brick.

Her pink donut shirt is cute! Aw… the fluffle on her head kneads her hair, and she gives me an ominous look with one eye, the other covered by her new snakeskin eyepatch…!

"...The top and the bottom go together nicely, somehow." Genkan supposes. Yeah, 'cause it's like, the casual wear formula from the outside. "The rest… does not. Although… the yellow of the boots contrasts the blue of the jeans nicely."

"I wanna shirt like that!" Ha-cha~n. Too little, too late! The day of giving has passed…! Although, s'not like we can't find it at the Kourindou or something pro'lly. Albeit, without my demented donut enchantment that I specifically requested...!

thump. Maria gives the most vacant of looks to a now-flat donut that descended from stories above. It like, came down to her left…!

"It's the shirt, isn't it?" Remilia interjects! "I wasn't paying complete attention, but I'm pretty sure that's the shirt. The thing summoning the... random sky-diving donuts all of a sudden."

"Yeah, it is." Maria notes! "This is terrible. Where do the donuts even come from?"

I shrug big time when Maria and some others focus on me! "Freakin', don't ask me…! S'fusf- freakin'- Santa, he's the one who actually went through with it…!"

"I wonder…" Genkan becomes active, dude. Now more alert, she scans the skies, in pursuit of randomly generated donuts. When she's not immediately rewarded, she looks back down. "Actually- before we get too distracted…"

Let's get too distracted. "What if we pretended we didn't see the donuts, so we could make Remi look absolutely insane…!?"

"That would be the most baffling approach to gaslighting ever." Remi interjects 'cause I brought her up! "...It also wouldn't work." Did- did you need to clarify that part? I can't believe everyone became convinced Remi was the only person who could see the donut rain.

"I said we weren't getting distracted." Genkan's closer to me now!

...She's so close, we can boop noses. Boop.

Fer some reason, after I boop her nose with mine, she really mellows out!

"I know, I know." Maria still had a couple more gifts! "Lemme see what you got me…"

There's a kinda big, tall gift that's about as big as Maria herself. "Um…"

Rip, rip- ri~p! She discards the white-teal wrappings, and rends the box with her feral young woman claws.

shoof. Unpackaging the big tall box, Maria slides the thing inside out of it…

Aw. Styrofoam.

"What…?" Maria gives the styrofoam block a soft look, before using a hand to toss it into the aether. "Oh!"

She'd cast the lid off the styrofoam, revealing a really strange lookin'... staff on the inside?

"Oh…" Maria's confused by the curvy, steel and something-else staff inside.

The curve is really smooth. There's a small, white, diamond-like lantern thing at the top, and the long shaft curves down from there, made entirely of two bands of steel with some black probably also steel between them.

Near the top, there's a handle for Maria t'hold it with one hand.

CHANK- CHUNK. There were two parts where the shaft could expand, and when they did, a huge four-way of white steel chunks expanded out.

It's kinda like… imagine a coat rack, with the four-legged bottom. It was like that, except of angular silver metal, coming from the bottom as well as the top.

CHUNK. She retracted the bits, and the extra metal guards hid. "What the heck."

...Genkan seemed ta recognize the thing, sort of. "I wanted to get you a staff that would help you defend yourself, and what was important to you."

Maria paused at the notion. "What's it do?"

Genkan smiled. "I'm… not sure." Uh oh. "Did it come with a descriptive card, like some of our other things?"

Maria smiles too! "No."

I nod. "It looks pretty fancy, though." It's satisfying, dude.

"Oh." Maria looks along the side of it… "It's got an English engraving."

Oh, shit, it does, on the flat-ish, chrome steel along one of the-... the things! The outer curves, yeah. It reads Queen's Guard. I'm gonna hazard it's defensive, or something.

"I should be able to figure it out. I think." Maria proceeds ta shove it up her ass- I mean, put it in 'er Eientei backpack of holding…! "And…"

Aw, one last gift. Guess, what, dude? It's-

rip. Maria rips it open easily, 'cause it's tiny. It's another ring!

"Ooh…" Hoh, shit. It's flashier than the ones me and Genkan got…! It's got three huge gems, and looks kinda unwieldy, but y'know, jewelry.

It's called Hail to the Queen. It provides a 15% increase to spell power and fire-ice-thunder resistance fer the wearer… scaling to the amount of people in the party. Oh. So, with me, Maria, Genkan and Ha-chan alone, she's got like… 60% resistance. I wonder if there's a proximity thing to it.

"How's that even work?" Maria pockets the card of explaining, and looks the ring over…! "All this stuff that scales off party members seems weird. How's it even decide who's what?"

...I grin! "Magic…?"

Maria gives me a flat look! "Well gee, Brad."

...Now that we've got all our things, I kinda turn to Remi. Aw.

I come up ta her! "...Wait- did Meiling mention anything about an armory of wood weapons?" I just remembered that shit Meiling wanted to give me that I totally forgot about last time I took off!

"...What?" Remi just gives me a very confused look!

I let 'er think about it. Trust me: I bet all the readers forgot by now too…! It was a total RNG brainblast moment that incited me to remember them!

"You- remember that now?" Remi gives me a judging look! "...When Sakuya wakes up, I'll have her just shove the crate in the holding room. Check in an hour or something."

Y'know, why didn't we just do that to begin with? Guess Meiling didn't think of the weirdness of the bag's storage room.

...Genkan's really close to me when I pan to her all of a sudden! "We should try on our new things." Aw. "I'm… curious."

Now that Christmas is over, maybe we oughta skedaddle. Where would we go, though…? The village? Maybe~.

"Should we go ta the village next?" I start bouncin' some ideas out there!

"Question: why?" Genkan starts to dissect my thinking! "We may be sent on adventures by circumstance half the time… but the other half of the time, you're randomly picking locations for the sake of going somewhere."

I hold my arms out! "I've just kinda been goin' and seein' stuff! I dunno! I got a hunch there might be somethin' real neat goin' on down there!"

"You're a glutton for punishment." Maria interjects behind us…! "Every time we go to the village, we get beat up. Genkan gets all dirty, too."

...I just kinda stare at Genkan after Maria says that, and Genkan just kinda stares at me!

"Scrubbed by fluffles." Yeah, dude. That was the first thing that came to my mind!

Genkan looks gently opposed to the idea. Uh oh…

Y'know, maybe I oughta ask them where they wanna go. It might gimme somethin' to roll with!

"If we could wander somewhere, where would you guys wanna go?" I'm gettin' kinda actually curious, now that I propose the idea.

And they're about as curious as me, 'cause they both seem disarmed!

"...Aah. Hmm." Genkan gives it the big think.

"That's… huh." Maria is also lost. "I'd… I would like to pick up more stuff from Patchouli, but… it's a holiday, and I think she wanted me to get some practice in before speaking to her again. And the village was… in the middle of some kinda civil war last time we were there, so maybe we wanna wait on that. Uum…"

"When did I head home last?" Genkan looks up thoughtfully. "Perhaps we can make a pitstop there. The woods outside my cave are full of things that you could fool with, Brad."

It- it feels slightly strange that she's just suggesting me an area to wander around in…! "There's somethin' weird about that suggestion…"

Genkan blinks. "Like what?"

"I dunno!" I grin! "S'like you're just tellin' me to go play in the lawn!"

...Genkan nods. "That's basically what I'm telling you. Except, I don't quite have a lawn, or a yard. Just… forest."

"I kinda actually wish the village wasn't exploding right now." Maria laments. "There's some shops there that're actually alright. We coulda gotten ice cream, or something…"

I wonder. We've talked about Genkan's mom some… "Hey, Genkan, d'ya know where yer mom lives…!?"

"If I did, she would probably kill you on sight." Genkan remarks plainly! "Shimokoa… may be what she is because of trauma, but I'm sure my mother sees humans as nothing more than a source of food and seed." Holy shit…!

Maria snorts. "Is, like, every other one of your 'sisters' a crazy lady who eats people?"

...Genkan shrugs! "It's-... actually hard for me to say. They're regular people to me. We'd get a quick answer if we put Brad in front of them."

"Yeehaw." I wonder… aw.

Fwi- Click! I close my eyes- an' change my clothes in a flash!

With my camouno and this ice crown on, I think I actually just have 200% ice resistance. Man, I need more shoes than Miko's sandals and Marisa's boots.

"Oh, right. Um…" Genkan starts to drift towards a hallway entrance. "Let me… get changed."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Holy shit.

Sunny morning, Christmas day Gensokyo. Snow coats the ground, and a cool wind flares through my kimono.

"Ho~h… dude." I exhale into the winter air. I don't see my breath! "This feels so good now…"

Genkan apparently had the extremely cursed idea of putting on the yellow kimono I got her despite the weather being what it is! And-...

Genkan hugs herself next to me, shivering. "I- I-..." Holy shit. "Wh- what- is this…?"

Holy shit. Genkan's ice resistance is zero, which means she can actually experience what it feels like to be cold.

"I'm- sh- sha- shaking…" Genkan exhales, and I can see her breath.

Maria's got her snowflake t-shirt, jeans, and big ass gold boots on. We're on our way to that rainbow pimp gear, son. "Genkan-... um. I think you're… cold."

Genkan looks down at her pale hands, compacted next to us. "This-... this feels-... wrong. Like- like it's painful… but I'm not burning. My heat…" She feels at her stomach, then looks at me.

Putting her arms on me, she feels me over, before her fingers recoil on meeting my cheek. "You're-... sharp? It hurts to touch you…"

Maria experimentally brushes my cheek too. "He's just really cold. I think." I feel like Maria's boots and snowflake tee combined give her actual ice immunity now. Oh boy…!

"It's-... it's like the air hurts. It makes me uncomfortable." Genkan shudders. "Why- is- mm- my body doing- this?"

"It's trying to heat itself up, and make heat." Maria explained. "You're… cold. Can- can you even heat yourself?"

Genkan drops onto her knees upon trying to walk.

"Uu- uh…" I get down next to her. "You good…?"

"My- legs-..." She tries to move her arms, but they appear to be stiffening up. "Brad-" she gives me a quick look, "take it off me…"

So, I quickly, clumsily kinda do that. I work it off her shoulders, undo the folds, and work her arms from her sleeves.

And, y'know, the sentiment tickles at the back a' my head. Genkan just had to eject herself from my gift because it was actually hazardous to her health at the moment.

The moment it's off her upper body- "Haa- aah…" Genkan inhales, and spreads her arms out, now finding control over them.

Floating up, she yoinks the rest of the kimono off with magic, before folding it up.

Now in just her skivvies, she exhales. "...Perhaps, I should only wear this when it's actually warm, wherever we are."

...Huh. Oh, I think I understand. So, Genkan's body… actually can't make its own heat. Y'know, now the yuki-onna fixation on heat and soul energy… kinda makes sense.

It leaves me with questions 'bout how her body operates- but I'm glad she'll still get use out of it when the time comes!

She comes up to me. "Take your ice stuff off." Uh oh. "That- happened to drain my reserves. I don't… have a good way of putting it, but I'm... hungry."

Maria pursed her lips. "How much heat did you lose?"

"In that timeframe, a whole third." Genkan slowly just glides closer to me as she speaks. "...It's not a huge deal, with Brad here. If I didn't have him to donate his energy, I'd probably have to start hunting right now."

"I will give you my hype energy." Genkan needs my energy, dude. "Everyone, put your energy in the chat…!"

"You can have my energy!" Ha-chan came up behind Genkan!

"Wh- ao…" Genkan flares in surprise! "Oh… right."

snip, snip. Ha-chan, what the fuck's that. "Can I clip your eyebrows?" She found an eyebrow remover.

"Please don't." Genkan denies her super fast! "...I suppose I could take… heat from you? Fairies don't have much energy to give… something about it lacking the human element causes it to burn like nothing. Hmm."

She explains her thinkin'. "You see… imagine a stove. Human heat is like wood, while a fairy's heat is like… paper. Other youkai are often like stick bundles... though, it can depend."

"Ooh…" Ha-chan sees it, dude. "I- don't think I'm made of paper, though…?"

Genkan slouches just enough to be adorable. "There's certainly a part of you that's made out of paper. I believe it's between your ears."

Ha-chan's eyes widen! "Wait, how do you know that? How do you know what's in my head…?"

"There is nothing to be known, which means I know all." Genkan declares, dude. "Behold, Hana."

...Ha-chan beams! "Does that mean you'd… know nothing at all?" Oh. Uh oh…!

...Genkan stands there idly, still in her black bra and panties, just kinda staring at Ha-chan.

"Wh- woah!" Ha-chan squeaks in surprise, when Genkan just lifts her overhead by the waist! "He- hehehe~!"

"Um…" Maria watches Genkan take off wit' er!

"While I must commend- your sudden surge of clever energy," Genkan huffs a little, as she exits the open gate of the mansion with Ha-chan still held overhead, "I am going to have to send you into orbit."

Ha-chan swims in the air while Genkan holds her! "Yeah! Orbit!"

...After a short delay, Genkan reels her whole body back- and lobs Ha-chan off into the air!

"Woohoo!" Ha-chan spreads her limbs and soars off towards the lake…!

...Maria comes up, and uses her wood staff to start pokin' Genkan's pale butt. It jiggles just a little in response!

"Wh- ah…" Genkan looks defensive fer a moment, before realizing it's Maria proddin' her.

"Put your clothes back on, missy." Maria suggests!

Realizing her nakedness, Genkan exhales. "Oh, right. I've spent so much time outside of a proper kimono, I've nearly forgot…" I'm not sure how those correlate, but yeehaw!

We meet gazes again, and I give 'er a once-over! Man, those black undergarments are hot.

crunch. She tosses a snowball at my face without even havin' to move!

"Permission to touch your butt?" I start moving towards her! "I'm gonna slap yer ass…!"

...Wh- aw. When I move around her, she acts like an N64 sprite, pivoting around to always face me!

Then, we start runnin' circles around each other! Or rather, I run around her, while she slowly drifts around me, and neither of us make any progress!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Ah, yes. The Forest of Magic. We enter its cusp, and-

"Um. So…" Someone speaks!

Genkan- now in her sweater top and cow skirt- recoils suddenly! She got spooked again, dude.

Aw, yeah. Speakin' a' Christmas day happenings, a certain someone's caught up with us!

Sally Yamada! Dead mage extraordinaire! Also, Maria's momma.

"Oh…" Maria takes pause, but also doesn't look terribly surprised. "I was wondering when you'd catch up with us. Did your talk with Patchouli go well?"

Yeah- you were wondering when she'd catch up? I was wondering if she even existed, and I didn't just imagine her in some kinda Christmas hype-propounded delirium…!

"Mmm. Kind of." Sally nodded sorta airily. "She placed some wards on me to keep the deterioration from progressing too quickly. I'll probably have to stop by her again for more later… or something…"

Y'know, I can't believe we somehow just obtained Maria's revived undead mom on our pre-Christmas Eve excursion. That was a fuckin' wild evening…!

Actually. Maybe we should hit up Eientei at some point. Maybe get Maria's already-dead mom a medical check-up, or somethin'...! Maybe Eirin knows something about the black magic of reviving dead people.

"You know what we gotta do?" I ponder the ponder. "We gotta toss loaves at the side of a house."

...Genkan gives me an easy look. "No?"

"Yes!" Yer not gonna stop me son.

"No."

"Hell yeah!"

"Alright, fine." Genkan concedes to the idea…! "You better mean fluffles... and not actual bread."

Aw, yeah. "I mean actual br- yeah I mean fluffles!" I'm not that retarded!

"Consider it on the to-do list." Genkan gives me that! "Let's not get distracted before we reach my home."

Aw, yeah, maybe not.

The tall trunks of the Magic Forest are, well, tall and trunks. Thicc. We've also entered the crazy eternal-night acid trip zone, which is like eighty percent of the place.

Snow and ice sparkles with ethereal glitter, despite the sunny day somewhere beyond the canopy. The sky's alive with blue mana particles, shimmering all across the pretty blue dimension.

"This is… quite gorgeous." Sally heeds the visual. "Hold on. I didn't say anything when I tagged along, but where are we going?"

"Home." Genkan replies in complete seriousness, actually!

"Home." I reply warmly…

"Home." Ha-chan smiles in a way that looks weirdly grateful somehow. Not sure for what though!

"...Home." Maria takes a moment to think about it, but reaches the same conclusion!

...Sally gives Maria a look! "You didn't take after your cousin Marisa, now did you?"

Maria pouts, and just kinda doesn't know how to respond! "I-... I don't- know how to answer, actually. Um. Our house got sold… so I've just sort of become a nomad, with Brad and Genkan. And we sleep in a lot of different places."

"Oh, right." Sally sighed. "Well… I don't like it, but I guess it can't be helped. Where are we going again?" I- I like how we never answered her…

"Home." I look grateful, dude.

Genkan snorts. "If you want a serious answer… we're heading to my cave, at the northern edge of the Forest of Magic."

...Sally looks mixed! "Is this what we're doing now? We're just, living in youkai dens?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what we're doing." Maria counters!

"Genkan's love cave." I nod in satisfaction, dude…

Genkan looks opposed, dude. "Don't frame it like that. Sally may get the wrong idea."

Aw. "We better not tell her about our sex tarp."

Genkan gives me a level look…! She's gently ominous, dude.

"Genkan in the distance." I commentate on her ominous disposition!

Maria puts her fluffle hat friend onto her own head, after it was off for a little while. "walk with your sneakers in the cyberspace"

"We do not own a sex tarp." Genkan makes a concerted effort to disprove this notion!

We're walking through some kinda valley in the magic woods, amidst the ice and snow. I got no fuckin' idea where we are in here…

"You two are cute." Sally immediately commentates on us!

...Genkan seems to compact at the compliment. "Aa- are we, now…?"

"It feels like night." I monotone. "I am no longer in possession of the family brain."

Genkan chuckles! "Uu- um…"

"You have it now, Genkan. Use it well." I'm gone, man.

Oh, shit. Wait, yo dude. After we progress outta this valley of ice spikes, we come onto a snowy incline amidst the trees.

We come across a yuki-onna, and this black-haired chick with a big rice hat.

"Oh…" This yuki-onna looks like Genkan kinda, but different. "Hello, sister."

Genkan is at peace, dude. "Hello…" She looks down at herself slightly self-consciously!

The rice-hat girl in grey clothes smiles at us. "Oh. My… all the yuki-onna are out today, aren't they?"

The yuki-onna centers her gaze on me. I must reply. "I'm being taken to the sex tarp."

Genkan gives me a look! "Please do not."

"Oh, I see." The other yuki-onna nods! "Already your time to harbor a child? You still seem so young…"

"Nn- no." Genkan gives her a slightly fluffed-up look back! "It's not. This human speaks nonsense."

"Oh…?" The yuki-onna seems somewhat confused! "Well… okay. I know humans are filthy, but they're a necessary tool. It's not disgusting to reproduce, sister."

"That's- not it." Genkan rolls her eyes! "I-... you know what, I don't care. What are you up to?"

"Oh." The yuki-onna looks at ease, dude. "I met a jizou who came to life one day. Her name is Narumi."

Narumi bows. "Hello!" Aw. Wait- oh my god it's Japanese Frosty the Snowman.

"Genkan is in possession of the family brain." I add to the conversation!

Genkan pivots to me fully, gently floating just a little! "Please stop contributing to the conversation."

"Okay- so!" Suddenly, I am full of energy! "What if we~...!?" I dunno where I'm going with this…

"I will freeze the loud human for you." Uh oh. The yuki-onna holds out her arms-

fwish. A cold wind blows past me, but I refuse to freeze.

Fwoash. White, healing energy pulses up my body instead! "You see- not being in possession of the family brain means I am immune to the cold…!"

"Wha- what…!?" The yuki-onna is alarmed!

"C'mere!" I start running at her!

The yuki-onna just flees, gently floating away from me as I run up to her.

"Do not make me dismantle you." Genkan drifts closer to me! "Or rather, please stop terrifying my sisterhood. We may be… cold, but we're peace-loving people. Even if Shimokoa may have convinced you otherwise."

...She's so close. Genkan's peace-loving, dude.

Turning to her, I just walk into her boobs. Genkan silently chuckles, despite her neutral expression…!

"...You bunch. You're not a typical situation, are you?" Narumi notes!

Parting from Genkan, I ask a question! "Wait- so are ya just, a statue that is alive?"

Narumi blinks. "...Ye~s."

Huh. "Do you have a house?"

...She smiles! "I have a podium I stand on, if that counts."

To that end, I gotta ask: "Whaddaya do? Like… what do you do?"

Narumi smiles wider! "Um… I- I guess I walk around. I enjoy the forest. Although, winter is my favorite season. Wintertime youkai are relaxed and easy to talk to, when they're not completely numb. In the summer, the fairies are uppity, and all the animals are either mating, hunting, or too energetic."

I guess life as a freakin' sentient statue has its perks.

"She's from the myth of the jizou, Brad." Maria, you know that lore means nothing to me…! "Have you never heard it?"

"Maria- I'm tellin' ya, I no longer possess the family brain…!" I grin at 'er! "Also, no!"

Narumi beams! "Oh? A human who doesn't know…?"

Sally interjects after havin' watched enough of this! "The jizou of the myth came alive to thank the one who generously gave them a hat when they were in statue form. I didn't really think the jizou would simply continue to live a normal life after that…"

Oh my freakin' god, she really is Frosty, but in Japanese myth form.

Narumi elucidates. "The jizou of the myth had to go sit back where they started, just with new hats. In Gensokyo, I don't exactly have to do the same. But, I still do a lot of standing there as it is. There's not always much to do."

Idea. Aw.

"Genkan." I turn to Genkan. "Can you make furniture out of ice?"

"This better not end in a bad idea." Genkan knows me too well already! "Alright- can we save your lunacy for after we stop at my home…? I have a feeling it's going to get us severely displaced."

"Aa- alright!" You make a mistake, Genkan. In two hours, I will be more powerful than you could ever imagine…!

Narumi is curious, however. "Why are one of you undead…?"

Sally jerks her head back, smiling. "Why are you a statue?"

Narumi's smile intensifies!

...Wh- ah. Genkan just comes up and hugs me.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"Aa~lright…"

I got the laptop I obtained from Eientei out. And… the generator too. The portable modem too. And, like…

I did it, basically. I have achieved endgame Gensokyo living. Not that I feel like using it- but if I wanted to return to my outsider life of NEETing out on a PC, I just… actually could.

Genkan watches me boot up the laptop with curiosity, and I see a fuckin'... Eientei logo as the computer boots. It's got bunny ears, that's how I know. I didn't even know Eientei had a logo.

Oh no. The native language is Japanese…! Aah, whatever, s'the freakin'... bootup procedures.

"Genkan, help, I can't read." I pan the laptop towards her!

She takes in the computer's violently blue screen, which is a stark contrast to the natural blue glow that emanates throughout her ice cave. "...Technology will never cease to mesmerise me. What- um…?"

Sally and Maria stand near one another, lookin' around the cave's main room…

"This place is… lonely." Sally immediately deduces. "There's no furniture at all. There's nothing."

The only reason there's a table in here is 'cause we pulled one outta my hack sack. Yeehaw…!

...Genkan closed her eyes. "I have some things in some other rooms. But… it isn't exactly in style with my people."

"Don't you feel empty, though?" Sally supposed.

"Yes." Genkan nods. "I did. It felt good. I like feeling lonely."

...Sally double-takes! "Wh- re- really?"

"I used to wallow in my own negativity because it felt good." Genkan nods. "It reflected the situation. Life in Gensokyo- maybe even in general- as an individual is typically quite hopeless."

She looks at me. "Even you, Brad. Despite your… special ways of coping, you still embraced the darker side of life too. You were ready to die at any moment. You would rather die than be hopeless and bored. You… were willing to fight and die for me."

...After we all just kinda share a quiet moment.

Maria looks relaxed, dude.

"But…" Ha-chan interjects! "Feeling lonely is sad…"

Genkan smiled. "Sometimes, it's good to feel sad. It makes the times you have a reason to be happy even better."

She centers her gaze on me again…!

"Hi." I'm me.

"I expected you to ramble in agreement." Genkan admits!

"I'm here to kill brain cells and ramble unrelentingly, and I'm all outta brain cells…!" Yeah man! "Cum is stored in the brain. And I have a headache…!"

"I will devour you." Genkan monotones!

Maria interjects! "She wants to eat you, Brad."

"He will be eaten." Genkan agrees!

Maria grins. "She wants to- eat your love."

"I will- hold on." Genkan double-takes!

"Y'know, I don't think we've tried oral sex yet." I have to bring up!

...Genkan's suddenly really red! Oh, shit! "Oo- oral sex? That's… is that not unsanitary?"

Eeh. "Only a little? An' not really, if we've bathed in the last like week." Which we have!

"It- it isn't dignified." Genkan retorts!

"That's what makes it hot!" I had to say that…! "Didn't you say that about regular sex too? An' that was kinda hot!"

"But…" Genkan compacts in her seat! "That's-... I had misconceptions about sex, I'll admit. Oral sex, however… how would- how would that even work?" Oh my god is she this unknowing about it? Holy shit!

Maria opens her mouth- but notices her mom Sally, and slowly closes it!

"Well, there's like three ways a' goin' about it!" It's almost awkward fer me to describe! ...Almost! "I could-"

"I don't think we need a rundown right now." Sally speaks loudly over me! "Thank you."

Oh no. "But I wanna be horny…"

"You two can be horny later." Sally notes. "Or, you know… you could go find a room and lock it. We'll wait."

Maria huffs. "Mom- I don't think they're actually that- you know… at the moment."

...Wh- oh! Ha-chan's really close to me! She's beaming really brightly, too!

"I wanna know what oral sex is!" Woah no! "Is it like that thing you and Genkan did- with her sitting on your-"

"So Brad," Genkan talks really loudly! "What did you need help with on this computer screen again? Reading?"

Oh, yeah! "Yeah, I did!" I guess we can talk about oral sex later, man. "There should be a language setting here somewhere!" Windows installs always start by askin' ya fer the language, right? Ah, wait, I think I see the English flag here somewhere…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Well. The computer's all setup. If I wanted to just spend the next forever NEETing out, I could!

But nah, man. Nah, man! For a few reasons, actually…

One! Gensokyo's really beautiful, and I don't have maxed game completion yet!

Two! ...We- only have a computer, not food. As little as I eat food sometimes, I do overall need it to survive, I think! We need like, a stove, and a fridge.

Three! ...We need a computer for Genkan, 'cause I wanna teach her my ways of cyber nomadhood. I live in her ice, she lives in my data!

Four! Shimokoa still wants to kill us! Also, maybe Merry, if she hasn't learned her lesson. Which I think she has, but y'know… I'm paranoid! And y'know, maybe a random wolfman will come by and need a clobberin' or something, I dunno.

These are all very good reasons to keep travelling and working on things! I feel like a good solution to all of these things is just right there, just outta sight… but not outta reach.

"Hey, Genkan. I took some of your books." Maria shuffles outside, where we are. "Hope you don't mind."

We're on Genkan's lawn, which is just a clearing outside her cave.

"Oh?" Genkan's voice flows through her being, and also mine, 'cause we're close at the moment. "It's fine."

I've got my head in her lap. Not in the typical way, either!

I'm staring up at the sky, her thighs around the sides of my head, and her forelegs around my chin. She's basically sitting cross-legged, but my head is just between her legs.

"...What're you two doing?" Maria judges us!

"I wanted to admire nature." Genkan explains! "And so, I've tamed Brad."

Maria nods. "With your thighs…"

"Mmm." Genkan hums, smiling. "That's right."

Oouh. Powerful...

The sun is nice, dude. Even if the forest ahead of us emits glitter and dark strangeness.

I wanna know… "Why's the magic forest always an acid trip?"

"Mmm? A... what?" Genkan doesn't know what acid is- for the better, really!

"Wha- why's the magic forest always got a sea of fake stars over it…!?" I wanna know! "Like, the mana particles an' stuff. I know the trees kinda emit it, but also… is that it?"

"...As far as I know, yes." Genkan didn't seem to know much more than me. "It's sort of a thing we don't question. I remember asking my mother about it one time, and she said the same thing to me. We just don't question it. But…"

Ohp there's our plot hook! "But actually- the elder god Elderheim is behind it!" Yeah!

...Genkan shook her head! "Maybe, sure. I will say, there is a place in the magic forest we don't wander to. It's the side closest to Kazami's flower field. And, no, it's not because we're afraid of stepping on her flowers and being murdered over it… even if that's also a good reason."

"Why, uh, what's that about?" Curiosity: piqued!

"You will not explore that place in the forest." Genkan immediately demands! "There's accidentally wandering into danger, then there's fully intentional self-endangerment."

"S'it that dangerous?"

Genkan's thighs and legs shift around my head. God, her lap is so good. "Yes, it is."

"Genkan likes it when you are not endangered." Maria interjects fer no reason! "Don't go extinct, Brad." I'm goin' extinct, man…

Genkan continues elaborating on what's so spooky 'bout the woods. "The forest's magic pulses from that place, like a heartbeat. Such is why the woods around the Misty Lake are so devoid of the magic's influence. The forest does not grow or spread, it simply is. Those pulses of life and magic… I've always assumed they're why Kazami set her field where she did. So her flowers could syphon and feed."

"Y'mean to tell me no one else goes there?" I can't help but wonder…

Genkan nods. "Kirisame has likely been there once or twice, maybe with the Hakurei. I don't think they've found anything, but there are certain worrying things there. Chasms of pooled, decayed blood, as if juiced from living beings. They've long become black as oil."

...Oh. "Ah. So, all the randos who go there…?"

"Killed." Genkan provided. "Shimokoa scorned that place once, for costing her a sister, and she cautioned me not to live in this forest at all. But, as long as we stay clear of its beating heart, we should be fine."

Huh. Is the Forest of Magic itself… a youkai? Or does something fuckstrong just live there?

"Y'know what we gotta do?" I propose… the plan. "We gotta become brain-damaged enough to go there an' fight whatever that is and win!"

"...Hmm? Mm. No." Genkan shuts me down! "Brain-damaged is the right word, yes. That idea is brain-damaged. You are brain-damaged. I'm sorry, Brad." Uh oh. "It seems like I have crushed your skull too hard."

"Oo- oh no." Help. "I mean… I'm curious, yo!"

"Human curiosity has lead to worse things." Genkan-... isn't entirely wrong 'bout that! "We'll see what the future holds… but I heavily recommend, Brad, that you live within your means, rather than throw everything away. Especially because… I love you."

My heart, ow. My heart has become large.

Genkan covers my eyes with her hands. "Here." Wha- why, yo. I can't see…!

"Genkan- I can't see."

"Good. Don't see." What, no.

Sally and Ha-chan come from the cave behind us, and uh…

Wh- ohf! Someone fuckin' plopped onto me! Ha-chan…!

I'm getting hugged by Ha-chan while being embraced by Genkan's thighs. Y'know what? Can we scene-break here? I wanna enjoy this for forever…! "What're you guys doing?" Ha-chan's voice is suddenly really close! "Oh! Is this a different kind of sex…?"

"...No." Genkan sounds weirded out! "A decisive no. Hana- intercourse involves sexual organs."

"Except when it doesn't!" I hold up a finger!

bonk. Genkan knocks on my head with her knuckles! "Shut- shush. That would… be foreplay. This is not that."

"Unless it was!" Lots of things can- ouf!

Pouting, Genkan squeezes my head harder!

"...I don't get it!" Ha-chan was lost. "But this looks fun!" Wh- yo hey-

Ha-chan gets up and sits in Genkan's lap- which I'm in- and uuu-

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Rubbin' my hands together, I come up with an idea. "I know how to get to the Human Village and stop the evil darkness of the Forest of Magic at the same time."

"For the sake of every Shinto deity, do not." Genkan has negative faith in this idea already, for some reason! "I fear your ideas. It is a well-taught fear, backed by many examples."

I fold my arms! "Alright, like what?" I can't think of any that went that bad, yo.

"That time we got flung across the world in a space lander made of ice?" Oh. Well- okay, that was jank, I'll give 'er that… "I don't know what you did to Toyosatomimi to destroy her entire party before they even walked into the ambush, but my imagination dreads to fill in the blanks."

I slouch a little! "Well...!"

Maria speaks up! "Brad named himself Doctor Dynamite Superteeth. And then he destroyed my foster family by trying to check my dental vibrations." Pfhu- hehehaha~!

...When I look at Sally, she's suddenly really weirded out!

Maria takes note! "They were a really bad foster family, so I was okay with it."

Aw yeah, them. "Dude- that tubby dude tried to duel me. Or was that-...?" Wait. I forgot who exactly wanted to duel me!

"Sanjiro, that guy." Maria reminds me. Oh, right!

"They- sent you to live with the Coda family?" Sally seems worried! "They- didn't do anything to you, did they?" I like how that's what she took problem with, and not the fact that I destroyed them by checking Maria's dental vibrations.

"Other than be mean, no, thankfully." Maria shook her head. "I didn't like… have to live there awhile. I was maybe there a month, or a week or two, before I met Brad. And- I kinda just jumped on the decision to go with him..."

...Sally gives me a curious neutral look. "What's this plan of yours? To get through the forest… and… mess with its heart?"

"Mmh…" Genkan is apprehensive!

Standin' tall, I stare into the woods. "We are going to use our powers of creation, dude. We are going to build a bridge over the entire forest!"

...When I look back, I see general skepticism and mystification!

"How?" Genkan wants to know, dude.

I know how! "With ice!" It's so cold out, it shouldn't melt!

...Genkan just has this mixed look, dude. She's got like, one brow raised and the other curled up.

"...Why?" Sally proposes the good question.

"Two reasons!" I actually got reasons, hoh shit! "First! If we encounter an extremely powerful foe in the forest, we can just drop rocks on its head until it is sad."

"Second!" I hold up two fingers! "...We can build an ice slide right into the village, pro'lly, and start chuckin' fluffles at a house really quickly!"

"The village…" Sally considers that, all of a sudden. "Right… um..."

I focus on 'er. She kinda fidgets. "About that… I- I thought about it last night. I'm not sure if they'll even take me back. I am, after all… technically a youkai now."

...I shrug. "Aaeh I mean- as long as it ain't obvious yer a zombie, I don't think mosta the people there got super radars to find out. An' I think Reimu's villager-ta-youkai clause is, like, in reference to advantageous things. Like, becoming a mage or somethin'. Bein' a zombie thrall of some necromancer kinda sucks, I think!"

...Sally nods. "Yes, it does suck, for a way of putting it."

Maria gave her a needlessly smug look. "Honestly… if you run into too many problems there… I mean…" She looks at me, dropping the smug! "If she traveled with us…?"

Daah. I almost say something!

But Genkan interjects! "I kind of prefer whenever we're a smaller scale party. I'm sure even with us, Hana probably feels like she can't get a word in edgewise half the time. Adding your mother to the mixture, combining us with whoever random lunatics Brad finds, and… well, it sort of complicates things."

...Maria kinda nods. "I- I guess… I see that."

"I'm edgewise!" Ha-chan punctuates this fact by saying absolutely nothing in the one gap where she's allowed to speak…!

Sally sighs. "I know I'm probably being a bother… but…"

"You're not a bother." Genkan clarifies! "It's just…"

I speak up! "We're tryin'a run around and explore all the things, and y'know, as fun as it would be to have my own miniature empire to one day lob nine hundred ninety nine TNT bundles at town hall simultaneously... I'd really like being able to go anywhere in any amount a' time at all, without going through an entire visual novel worth of dialogue to get there…!"

...At that, Sally looks thoughtful. Instead of just looking sorta crestfallen, she seems to kick her thinker into thinkin'.

"Idea." Sally gives me a sharp look back! "You and Patchouli… you've devised a sort of summoning rite, yes? I was told about it."

Daah. "...I think so!"

Sally gives me a nod. "After I set up in the village again… I'll go speak to her. If you and Maria could summon me at any time… I'll always be able to be with you in your moments you need me most. You won't have to always look after me when you all go around doing your things."

"That's-..." Maria seems kinda surprised! "That's smart…"

Sally gave Maria a tired sorta look. "...My little girl's growing up. And, from what I've seen of you people… you do truly seem to be peace-loving folk. I feel like I can trust her to be with you."

Taking in a breath, absorbing the praise, Genkan smiles. "Thank you."

...I- I kinda wanna make a joke, but I also don't!

"I also think having a home in the village for all of you to stay at would be… ideal." Sally supposed! "As well as somewhere for Maria to call home one day, when… Genkan and Brad here settle down. I'm- I'm not sure which of you I'm exactly talking to anymore." Yeehaw.

"Until then, however… I suppose I'll have to be with you until you escort me to the village." Sally gives us a big smile! "I'm sure you know your ways in and out. I've, um, never had to play hopscotch with the town's borders before. Forgive me."

"It's no problem to us." Genkan is nice, dude. "...You will, however, be expected to help fulfill Brad's whims, however."

Sally blinks! "Oh? What-... do you mean?"

I clap my hands! "We're goin' up, dude. We're gonna build a stairway to the stars…!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Oh my fucking god.

"Dude…"

I'm crouched, with my hands over my head. I'm gently sliding along a really, really fucking long, like three-foot wide beam of pure ice.

We're so fucking high in the air, we're over the sparkly smog that covers the Forest of Magic. This is like, five or more stories. Dude…!

There's so little friction because- not only is this a bridge of ice, it's a bridge of glittery ice, composed of magical forest air. We're over the Forest of Magic biome entirely!

The glittery ice bridge is kinda beautiful. It looks like candy. It's also a fuckin' death trap Jesus…!

fwii~sh. Genkan's gently spraying ice down in the air ahead.

SHOOF! Sally casts gravity wells before her, to drag the ice magic down dramatically, creating support beams for the bridge.

Oh, you know what's fucked up? Sally can actually just straight-up fly. She just- can fly. She's just floatin' beside the bridge, slingin' gravity spells.

...After a few seconds of me sliding along, terrified for my life, I actually end up skidding straight into Genkan's butt through no volition of my own!

"Hmm…?" Genkan turns to me, as I slowly skid away again…! "Aah… Brad? What are you doing up here already? It's not done yet…"

"Bla- Blame Ha-chan!" I- I have to talk progressively louder, 'cause I'm sliding away…! "She was really fascinated with the ramp- and just kinda pushed me u~p…!" I'm really far away now!

"It's not safe…!" Genkan has to start yelling over the wind! "Brad! Come back!"

woosh. Wait- uh oh. Wind…!

I stand up- and start running in place!

Genkan's eyes widen! "Brad- no! Don't come back! Wait-"

Ohp- I'm flyin' son! See ya later, ice bridge! Into the void!

"Brad- you idiot…!"

"Yahoo~!" Oh no man Brad's fallin' way down man all the way down!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...Now with my gravity boots on, with some kinda gravity affixment from Sally, I stand on the bridge behind Genkan!

"In retrospect, I suppose death by falling isn't a huge fear anymore…" Genkan supposes, dude. "Still, you could get into trouble with the local youkai."

"I will pull out my gun and shoot them." ...I beam after sayin' this! "I'm the one they should be afraid of…!"

Genkan is afflicted with the silent chuckles. "...Ma- maybe don't. I feel like that would be disproportionate. They're just doing what they do."

"Yeah- an' what humans do is genocide random races for no good reason!" My argument's supported, dude…!

squeak- squeak- squeak- squeak. This ice is still so fucking slick it takes me like four steps to move one step.

Wh- ah. Someone slid into my ass.

I turn, and see Maria! "Oh- aw! Maria's here!"

Maria's on her arms and legs, looking like a frightened cat…! "Br- Brad- help…"

Ha-chan floats alongside the bridge! "This is so cool!" She's really fascinated by this like 2D Mario level we've freakin' constructed…!

Wait! "We're also goin' to the forest's heart, aren't we? Genkan- make a sharp right here!"

Sally smiles at me! "Are you stupid?" Uh oh. "I'm not letting my daughter near there. Scratch that, I'm not letting you near there, by the simple merit my daughter cares about you being alive."

"I agree." Genkan turns to me! "It is just too dangerous, Brad. Maybe some other day."

Son, when has adventure ever been too dangerous for me? Aside from basically always…!? An example that comes to mind is that one time I didn't go down that watery shaft in Eientei ta get grinded into Brad cutlets.

"get out of the way" What. Wh- a fluffle spawned on the bridge behind us, made out of snow. "im going home from school"

Maria gives it a flat look, while she struggles maintaining her balance on all four limbs on the ice...

woosh! Ohp- the wind attacks again! "Yo- defend status!" Yeah, crossed arms! Take that, wind! My gravity-affixed gravity boots will not succumb to nature!

fwoom. The fluffle's tossed way away, oh no!

"Wh- aa-" Uh oh. Maria starts to skid off despite her attempt at hugging the floor. "Guys! Ha- eee~!" Woah no!

"Wua-" Ha-chan dives for her!

Sally also dives for her! "Maria!"

...Genkan turns, and just gives me a stare.

I run in place at her!

"You did this." Wh- oh no. Yo- hey! Genkan-

whump! Pft- hehahaha! Genkan- just fuckin' slapped her arm into me, and cast me into the abyss with them! "Yo- ho ho!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Maria's gold treads are now treated with the same temporary shoe-glue buff as my gravity boots…!

We both do some demented running in place excercise behind Genkan as she builds the ice bridge in the sky over the sea of glittery forestry. Ha-chan, despite being able to fly, is also on the ice, running in place behind us!

It's a symphony of metal boots squeaking on ice, dude.

...After havin' heard enough of the squeaks, Genkan turns to us, lookin' opposed!

I stop, and bounce off her softness after gently gliding into her. Maria rebounds off me, causing me to gently glide back into Genkan like a pool ball, before sliding back into my original position.

"Wh- ah…" Maria's displaced, bouncing around and offa' Ha-chan!

"Aah…" Ha-chan's sent sailing! "Oo- oh no!"

"...This feels demented." Genkan commentates on the situation!

"'Cause it is." Maria counters!

"We gotta go higher." I decide! "Genkan- curve the slope upward…!"

"We're eight stories or so in the air. We're high enough." Genkan protests in vague worry…!

"There's no such thing as too high, dude." I contest! "Y'can always aim higher! Shoot fer the moon!"

...Wh- oh. I look to our left, and Marisa's floating here, sittin' on her broom with her arms folded.

"A'right." Marisa smiles brilliantly at us. "Who's the wise guy whose idea was ta build an international superhighway on top a' my house?"

...Everyone looks at me!

I stick my arms out! "It- it's ice, it melts."

Marisa nods!

Whump! "Uhf- aa-" An' then she just fuckin' Sparta-kicks me off the bridge. "Aaaa~ugh, nooo~!" I blow the event way outta proportion, and yell bloody murder as I descend again…!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Squ- squeaksqueaksqueaksqueak! Marisa's now up here running in place with the rest of us, shavin' that ice!

Genkan looks doomed. "You people…"

Man, dude. Ice levels are crazy. Them ice physics, man…!

"So anyways!" I gotta speak up! "Yo, Marisa! D'ya think we could beat the superboss in the heart a' the magic forest by dropping bricks on it from an ice platform way up over the trees!?"

...Marisa stops running in place fer a moment, fuckin' dumbfounded. An' then she resumes, but awkwardly! "Wh- what-... the fuck? Who the fuck told you about that? I'd a' thought most rando youkai- wouldn't live ta tell the tale a' goin' so deep. Thought they all got some kinda, like... danger radar, fer the burly superior types."

"Word of mouth is a thing." Genkan delivers, as she glazes the ice bridge across the atmosphere.

"Also, that's the most outlandish, stupid, retarded idea about tacklin' a huge scary youkai I've ever freakin' heard… and, uh…" Marisa's trailin'-off words are slightly drowned out by wind and squeaky boots!

"Y'know, it actually might work."

Sally takes pause, drifting up ta Marisa. "I didn't know you caught stupidity, Marisa."

...Marisa doesn't seem phased! "A magician worth their salt oughta be a little stupid sometimes! And, when me and Reimu went ta the big spooky thumpin' part a' the woods, we didn't see much."

"You both went there? Truly?" Sally shook her head. "Count yourselves lucky. I'm glad you haven't given Marcus another regret to grieve over."

Marisa rolls 'er eyes. "No- but see- the thing is-"

"You worry Marcus to death, you know. The way you-"

"Sally- I'm tryin'a talk here!"Marisa barks back at 'er! "So like-...! Like… fuck." Uh oh. She lost her train a' thought! "Fuckin'... I- I forgot what I was gonna say, ze…"

"Might be a good thing." Sally starts floating back ahead, to cast the gravity thing that makes Genkan's latest ice trail segment into a support beam.

An' so we quietly, squeakily proceed. Squeak squeak squeak…!

"Oh! Right!" The squeakin' jogs Marisa's memory! "See, when me and Reimu went there, the thing hid. The forest's breathin' normalized. All we found were some dusty ruins. Reimu figured the ruins were just doin' it- I said they were like, intensely magical. 'Cause they were. They emanated mana like no tomorrow. Shit was crazy.

"But I don't think it was the rocks… or, uh, not entirely. See- if it was the rocks, the trees wouldn't've all just slowed down, would they? Me and Reimu, we're powerhouses, but we ain't fuckin'- gihugic, monolithic blips a' magic floatin' around. We ain't crazy youkai. If Yukari or some other big lady were there, sure, but us? No way."

Sally exhaled. "Marisa, you don't know. It could have been many things. Youkai and apparitions work in strange ways. Your shrine maiden friend may have had something to do with the ruins' reaction."

Marisa seems skeptical. "...I doubt it. I went back on my own later. Whatever it was, it didn't want a piece a' me."

...I start noddin. An' then I start noddin' intensely! "So all we gotta do is drop bricks on it outside a' its aggro radius and fuckin' clonk it out, dude!"

Marisa claps her hands! "This guy! That's- fer a loser human, that's genius, ze!"

...Genkan twists to give us a forlorn look! "Why do we have to keep running into people who amplify Brad's strangeness?"

Yeehaw! "I'm amplifiable!"

Eventually, the soothing sounds of squeaky boots an' shoes sets into the air. My curly hair goes fuckin' everywhere, even despite my ice crown thing, 'cause it's so damn windy!

"Aa-" Kagh! I choke on the air…! "Ngh…"

"We oughta turn this ice train around, ze…" Marisa speaks low at first, before gettin' louder! "We're gonna give 'em a concussion, ze!"

"We're not doing that…!" Sally demanded! "That's a really, really bad idea!"

"It's not that bad!" Marisa makes a strange argument! "It's- maybe only a little!"

I also shrug! "Eeah- I mean, how bad can it be?" Wait- saying things like that is a death flag! "I mean- it's probably actually very bad!"

...Marisa yells behind me! "Which is it!?"

"Both, 'cause I'm schizophrenic!" I refuse to be decisive!

"It's bad." Sally decides! "I don't care if I have to get in your way. The two of you will not convince us otherwise. We are not going over there."

Genkan became curious, however. "Do you know what's over there? Besides something deadly, that is?"

Sally frowned. "...Well. No. I don't have to know what the danger is to know it's dangerous."

"It's a youkai girl." Marisa knows, dude…! Oh shit! "Caught a glimpse or two a' her. Some kinda dryad, plant, thing. Real shy! Also real carnivorous!"

fwii~sh. Eventually, Genkan glazes a path of ice past the forest's airspace. We are now over the village. Like… over the village.

She ends up accidentally glazing some of the path past the village's walls, and uh… when she realizes, she stops! "Hold on- we're in the-"

whump. I walk into Genkan!

"Hnh-" Uh oh. "Ah…" Genkan lets out a monotone exclamation as she dives forward, off the ice bridge.

Wh- oh! When I bump offa' Maria again- I go forward and can't slow down-

"Wahoo~!"Look out from above, Genkan! Wh- oh! "Oof!"

Genkan plainly caught me, floating just below the edge of the bridge.

...Maria slides off the edge over us! "Wh- aoh!" Oh shit-

Thud! She lands on me! "Wh- ow…!" Ow! Maria's- heavier than me! An' just slammed into me from more than a couple feet!

...Ha-chan just walks off the edge- son you can fly why are you-

Thud! "Ow!" Maria gets scrunched!

"Fr- freakin'...!" I'm getting super scrunched…! "Nngh."

Genkan starts sinking! "You-..."

Marisa leaps on off the edge! "Dogpile, ze!" Son-

Thud! She lands on Ha-chan ass-first.

"Ow!" Ha-chan gets squished-

"Ugh…" Maria gives up.

"Aa- owww!" I'm in actual pain there's too many of 'em…!

Genkan sinks faster! "Nnh-... you- stupid-..."

"Wgh- aa-" I can't even talk- I'm gettin' fuckin' crushed, oh shit!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Fwii~sh. Genkan cushions our rapid descent with a slide of ice!

We descend in a spiral pattern, leaving a sprawling ice kiddy-slide in the air behind us as we return to the Earth.

"Kids- next dhoruh-" Help I'm being smushed. "Ba- battle stations…!"

"Battle stations!?" Marisa yelps! "Hell yeah!"

Woosh! Pushing off us with a gentle backflip, her broom snaps outta nowhere to fit under her ass, lettin' her descend next to us. Where the fuck did she learn to do that…!?

Ha-chan blooms into the air, now free! "I'm free!" Aw, yes dude!

...Maria, disheveled, rolls off of me. "Ee- ehn…" She lands on her butt gracelessly next to us, looking somehow way more exhausted than before. "Ehe- hehe…" She looks incredibly awkward!

Genkan holds me up. I'm warm and defeated. "...Are you okay?"

"Maybe." I got run over by a tractor trailer. "I'm warm. And, defeated."

"...Deflated boyfriend." Genkan smiles! It's got a strange peacefulness about it, for a moment…!

Then- she places me on my legs.

We're in some fuckoff alley in the Human Village, north-east sector. We've found the fabled sector Z, dude.

"So…" Sally descends next to us, clearing her throat. "We're-"

"Gonna be throwing fluffles!" I talk over her! "Yo Maria! Lemmemme givagiva- gimme an F, gimme a U! Gimme a-" wait I spelled that wrong oh fuck.

"What." Maria looks simultaneously confused and opposed!

"A- a fluffle!" Thankfully Genkan doesn't know English, so she will never know I botched it!

"Y'were 'boutta spell 'fuck'." Why's Marisa bilingual what the fuck? I mean, I guess she would know a bit a' English...

Sally shook her head. "Please don't interrupt me. We really should get going."

Nah man, hold up! "Dude- cool down, yo. We'll get ta it! We just really gotta throw fluffles at this house!"

...Genkan, after looking passive in the background, speaks up. "I vote for tossing loaves." Yes!

Sally looks jaded! "But-..."

"Nah- look, yo." I wave my hand, and walk around in place like I own the place! "Let the Brad-man show ya how it's done, son."

"But what are we even doing?" Sally's confused now! "The faster we get situated, the faster you all can relax…"

Now standing, Maria nods with a plain, accepting smile. "Just let it happen, mom."

"I'm hoping the wall folds away, revealing itself to be wallpaper." Genkan makes fun of my arbitrary decision in the background! "Then we will find a massive treasure chest full of unnecessary forgotten dubloons stashed inside this faux house."

"We gotta toss those loafs, Genkan." I must see Genkan tossing loafs overhead. It just has to happen. It's in the mission objectives.

...When we look between ourselves, to the left, there's suddenly a fluffle standing there! It's like, half as tall as us for some reason…!

"im here to help" He's here to help!

"Hypothesis test, commence." Genkan lifts the fluffle, folds it into a loaf, and chucks it at the wall with both arms overhead.

THUMP. The fluffle rebounds off the wall, and flops face-first on the floor.

THUMP. Ooh- aw! Maria found a fluffle, and did the same!

THU- THUMP, THUMP. Soon, we're all chucking suspiciously oversized fluffles at the wall of this random house because we can.

"I don't think there's any treasure." Genkan seems only slightly disappointed!

Alright, I'm comin' clean. "I had us do this because I think it looks cute when you toss things overhead. Specifically both arms."

Genkan just kinda pauses. At first, she seems shocked. But then she slowly begins to glare at me…!

"Dude- you look so snug!" She just- lifts 'em up, and chucks 'em, and unh.

"You lovable moron." Genkan looks opposed, despite her words! "We could have just tossed things at trees. Why a house?"

"Because it also felt suitably demented!" I hold my arms out! "What's the point a' tossin' loafs at a tree? S'gotta be a dude's house!"

"Why a house…!?" Genkan really wants to know!

thump. Maria chucked a smaller fluffle she found at the house in the meantime!

Wham! Ha-chan just floats up and kicks the wall while in mid-air. "Yeah!"

"My brain's turnin' ta mush, ze." Marisa annotates from the commentary box…! "My skull's goin' so soft, my hat'll cave in my brain."

Sally exhaled. "I-... Maria, I don't really know your friends, but they seem weird. Perhaps the good kind of weird, but still quite very weird."

...Facin' her mom, Maria lifted a fluffle.

"Don't you dare." Sally knew.

Maria chucks it!

whump. Sally shuts her eyes, and takes the pillow-like impact head-on.

I like how Marisa really doesn't care what we're doing…! "Every tima ya say Maria, I almost think yer talkin' about me."

Crea~k. Oh, shit. A door my instincts tell me very distinctly belongs to this house opens. Genkan's snow woman senses also tingle, and she perks up.

"God, damn… what the fu~ck…"

That's when a blue-haired cat man in just freakin' heart-pattern undies stomped around the corner. "Can't a fuckin' drunk get some-...?"

He sees us. Rubbin' the sleep from his eyes, he sees us again.

Genkan tosses a particularly large loaf at him.

whump. When it deflects off his face, he has a far more stern, narrow-eyed look!

Oh no, man. "We have angered the dungeon guardian. It is now too late."

"Look-..." The blue-haired cat dude sighs, and stomps around in place! "I don't know what the fuck- you bitches an' whores be doin'- but if you don't stop- throwing-... thr- throwin' fuckin'..."

"Loafs." I amend! "We throw loaf."

"Just fuck off!" He waved his arm aggressively! "Fucker. The fuck're-..." He notices my emperor wreath thing! "Whahahaat the fuck're you even wearing? They make kimonos in camo?"

"They make kimonos in loaf." I grin!

...The guy starts walkin' closer! "Heh-... eheh. Yeah. Real funny. Real funny, asshole." Wait- he ain't gettin' closer for the sake of it oh shit- "Real fuckin'-"

Woosh! I scramble back when he throws an outta-nowhere surprise right hook!

"Real fuckin' funny!" The cat's outta the bag man! Cat's outta the bag!

Genkan, looking slightly bewildered, gets between us! "Easy, cat. It's not like we-"

Slap! Oh! Oh- he just, slapped Genkan across the face. "Shut the fuck up, snowcone. I did a snow bitch last week, y'know- I ain't playin'-"

FWASH! Genkan freezes him solid immediately!

...Pursin' my lips, I snake on around Genkan's side!

She gives me a real done sorta look, a red handmark now on her left cheek. "...I- I like how… we haven't been here ten minutes. Ten minutes, and already, I... feel like I want to hurt people."

"Yeah, tell me 'bout it!" Marisa beams in the background, shruggin' in the most douchebag way possible! "That's why I beat the shit outta people!"

"I- I, um…" Maria looks awkward! "Yeah."

Sally gives 'er a look, then looks at the rest of us! "...Well. I know I must sound like a parent, but… do make sure Maria doesn't pick up any of your baggage. That- that is to say…"

Marisa snorts. "Hah? Oh- oh, it's way too far gone ta be sayin' that."

Sally focuses on her, brows slightly furrowed.

"Moment you died, I could see it in 'er eyes." Marisa's smile gained something ambitious about it…! "She was out for blood. Still is. In fact, now more than ever, all of you're really damn anxious. Kinda gets me a li'l excited."

"Marisa." Sally gives 'er a focused look! "Maria-... she may feel more traveled now- but she's still my daughter. She wouldn't hurt anybody. Not without good reason."

Camera cuts to that one time we had to fight a shadow clone of me and Maria golf-clubbed it in the dick with her staff. Also, the whole foster family situation! Also, any time she casts Thunder on anything.

"Yeah, I don't know what you're talkin' about." I shake my head, leaning an arm against Genkan, because she is the ice pillar. "It's not like I'd love to just, klang my plant hanger against a skull from like twelve different angles. It's- it's not like I wanna see Genkan breakdance a guy into the wall so hard he ends up doin' an involuntary three-sixty!"

...I look at Genkan. She looks at me!

"Admittedly, I've always had a propensity for resorting to violence quickly…" Genkan admits! "It feels… natural. Especially in the wilds. Especially after what I've heard of, and seen."

"Nah, dude!" I wave an arm out! "Naa~h dude. Like, we gotta admit: there is no satisfaction in trapping some random asshole in a hell of elemental combo attacks that leaves them at least a thousand degrees rotated. And, like twenty meters away from where they started!"

...Genkan gives me a cute look. It's neutral, but also somewhat judging!

Marisa gives me a knowing look…!

Maria smiles peacefully, nodding along.

Well son. "Okay, we might have a problem."

"Mom, I want to shoot magic, sometimes at people." Maria unleashes the fluffle within. "But in self-defense."

"If we're going to hurt people in self-defense, we might as well have fun with it." Genkan amends! "Brad's still learning, too." Wh- hey, I've been brainblastin' random dudes longer than both a' you…! Maybe not as well, but…!

...Sally just kinda sighs. "Well… fine. Truth be told… I can understand. I just don't want to see you get hurt, or… to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it."

Maria puts on a strong look. "I don't wanna see anyone I love getting hurt either."

Sally looked winded.

...Marisa plops her hat on Maria's head.

"If yer gonna be a magician, y'need a hat."

Maria smiled.

"Alice doesn't wear a hat."

Marisa shrugged. "She has a tiny hairband thing."

"That's really not the same."

Marisa crouches some, and snakes around Maria's side! "It totally is! Eeh- s'a technicality maybe, but-...!"

Maria takes off Marisa's hat, and casts it to the wind like a frisbee.

It lands on the frozen cat man-cicle. Aw, yes dude.

Maria smiled. "We're really not the same, either."

Turning around, she gave Marisa a nod. "I'm happy you kinda care… but what I do… is what I do. I don't know how your mom died, or if you know. Or if you care."

Unfazed, Marisa shrugged. "Eeh… details're hazy."

"My mom was murdered not even a few months ago. Random people we come across now and again try and hurt us, too. I'm not ready to let that go."

"im free" The fluffle on Maria's head is secure, dude!

"This cutscene would be a lot better if you didn't have the fluffle that I gave you on…!" I confess!

"Genkan, we're gonna toss fluffles at Brad and see how he likes it." Maria conspires against me! Oh shit!

...I turn, and Genkan's already got a loaf overhead!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

A new hideout has been unlocked. You can store your items and regain HP here, dude.

"Boy…" Sally sighed upon steppin' foot in her old home. "This place… is going to take some work."

"Not that there's much 'place' to begin with." Genkan adds!

Sally snorts. "Tell me about it. Such is our life. Still… all that I did to preserve what little there was seems to have gone to waste."

"Sorry." Maria offhandedly apolomagizes.

"Don't be." Sally smiled back at 'er. "You weren't ready."

"How are we gonna get it back? The town owns it now." Maria looked somber. "We can't go back here…"

"Considering it's still unoccupied, we may have some time." Sally looked thoughtful. "That… and village homes do not cost much in the first place. This home is somewhat expensive, being on mainstreet, in a high-market sector, but… it's not valuable despite that. I kept the value low. It's not a storefront, after all, or a business, making it inherently less profitable and more risky."

"I also don't know how much time I have." Sally reveals… "I'll keep in touch with Patchouli. Just, um…"

After panning her gaze around the whole little house, she centered it on Maria again. "Just know that I love you. And, if I never see you again… know that I always love you."

Maria hugged her mom. "I- love you too, mom…"

...Sally closed her eyes, and put a hand on Maria's head.

"You know… on the brighter side, if I ever do pass, you may be able to find me in Hakugyokurou." Sally put on a smile.

"I'm going to find who killed you." Maria announced.

"You don't have to."

"But I'm gonna." Maria suddenly perked up. "What did they look like? Were they youkai?"

...Sally shook her head, smiling more warmly. "You're too stubborn."

"You're stubborn too."

"They were an outsider. American. Blonde. Short, straight hair." Sally nodded. "...Not like Brad, however. Brad's hair is darker blonde and more curly. Different faces, obviously.

"I forget... if I was napping or reading. I left the window open. He attacked my throat in one quick motion. I had no time to do anything before I began dying. I never thought something like that would happen in the village, so easily."

So, uh, Matt. She's describing Matt. Did I ever tell 'em it was this Matt dude? Do they even know who he is? Wait- I think we've seen Matt once or twice. I wonder what the hell he's even up to… but I remember him ki~nda acting like a douche. Eeh.

I think I'll speak up next time we see him. Maybe. It depends what we're doin'! And I, y'know… wanna touch base with 'em.

Also ta figure out why the hell he murdered Maria's mom! S'kind of a big problem!

"A lead…" Maria smiled big time! "I guess we have Seiga to thank for something."

"Don't become too vengeful." Sally held Maria's shoulders. "Don't let power become your only focus. Remember that you accepted magic out of curiosity and to protect what's important to you.

"Don't let that power, or your cares, blind you from the world around you. We all have a job, as human beings: to live, to love, to be happy… and to coexist. Though that last point causes us all the grief, undeniably, it's the most important one in the end."

...Maria's mouth just kinda goes ajar! But, then, she nods. "I- I see. Thank you, mom."

An' meanwhile me and Genkan are just kinda standin' here, out of the cutscene's camera frame.

Sally gives us an awkward smile! "Sorry, you two…"

"I am an unused, out of bounds cutscene model." I announce! "I still think the fluffle on Maria's head makes all these really sentimental scenes really weird!"

"That's why I'm gonna poke your brain out." Maria advances on me! "This is all your fault."

"It's undeniably your fault." Genkan centers on me!

"Why's it always my brain…!?" Maria really likes poking my brain out dude! "Why not anything else…!?"

Maria advances even more aggressively! "I'm gonna poke your brain out!" Aaa~h, aaa~h!

...While Maria and Genkan use fluffles to gently pummel me, Ha-chan comes up to us. She was, for some reason, inside the single back room Maria's house has! "Hey, guys."

Maria and Genkan cease torturing me with fluffles to give her plain looks…

"I found more fluffles." She points at the door she came from- oh fuck oh no.

The shuffling begins. A small army of fluffles starts pouring from the back room that Ha-chan came from! Issa avalanche!

Sally and Maria give the fluffles neutral, yet standoffish looks as they all very quickly invade the main room with strange semi-organization…!

Then, they all stop.

One of the fluffles made an announcement! "we found the bonus boss"

...Wh- oh! That's when a really fucking huge fluffle tries to fit through the door, only able to put its decal eye through the doorway! "HONH HONH HONH HONH" Uh oh.

"Oh my go~d…!" Maria's in awe!

"That- room isn't even big enough!" Sally raises her staff!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We're out on the road, dude. Apparently Sally has the house… under contro~l? She said she did, so we took her word at face-value!

Christmas apparently took care of the whole 'miniature civil war' problem. That, and uh, wasn't Miko spearheading some of it? And me and Kotohime kinda accidentally'd that whole operation…!

Genkan stretches, which is rare, and also very valuable. "Nnn-... nnh."

Hoh. "I have lost the family brain cell."

Lookin' at me, Genkan smiles! "...Hmm. You know…" She turns ta Maria. "What was that about ice cream?"

...Maria was also staring at Genkan! "Oo- oh, right. Um…"

I like how she's all mixed fer some reason! "I can't believe Sally took the Yamada family brain cell when we left."

...Maria gives me a look of confrontation! The fluffle on her head gives me a forlorn, standoffish look!

Genkan is endeared by how snug she is for a moment. "I- I bring this up, because, well… making ice cream isn't necessarily a foreign concept. To me, I mean. I wouldn't know exactly how it's done… but my mother knew how to do it, and some other sisters I know have done it occasionally."

I can't believe Genkan's gonna become an ice cream salesperson. "Sell your ice, Genkan. So people can eat food."

Genkan gives me a gentle look. "Ice is not food, Brad."

I wonder. "Could someone actually eat ice instead a' drinkin' water?"

Maria snorts. "Probably. I don't see why not. It'd be less efficient, though. Imagine a quart of water being a small meal instead."

"How horrifying." Genkan monotones! "Anyway…"

Pivoting to me, she makes a decision. "I have an idea. Brad, while we look for ice cream, would you like to wander around and find us all some snacks?" Ooh.

"Y'don't normally suggest splittin' up to search fer clues." I take notice!

"Half because I'm afraid you will get yourself murdered, be it through enraging the locals or otherwise." Genkan fights a grin at her own statement…! "Bu- but… you know, I can tell you've gotten restless recently. That, and… you're intelligent, despite your best efforts at appearing otherwise. You should be able to keep yourself from getting into fatal trouble."

"Don't jinx it." Maria interjects! "Now Brad's gonna start the next civil war without even trying."

Genkan smiles. "If he does, I'll be impressed, and will also cry." Wh- why cry…!? "So please, don't make me cry, Brad. Do not start a social revolution while we buy ice cream. It will make the procedure more arduous than it needs to be."

"I- I'll try not to!" I give 'er a salute! "But y'know, no one expects the fluffle inquisition…!"

"Do not." Maria cautions me, dude. "...Oh, yeah. Hey, Hana. Wanna come with us?"

"Ice cream!" Ha-chan is predictable, as predicted…! "I wanna scream for ice cream!"

"Do not." Maria repeats! "Like-"

"Eeeee~!" Oh my god. Yeehaw!

"Stop." Maria affirms! "Stop!"

Hana stops!

Genkan just has her eyes closed, looking really finished with the exchange! "Ha- Hana, why…?" An' then she looks around, at the villagers who stopped to look at us!

...Aw. For a moment or two more, Genkan and Maria give me cuddly, stand-offish looks, before moving to get the ice cream. How much money they even got on 'em…? Ah, whatever. It might not be a problem, maybe, hopefully. Hopefully!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 109

NEW ITEMS:

==== BRAD ====

The Spirit of Giving - A big candy-cane with an easy grip! Even worse than plant hangers for combat. Enchanted with a powerful, unknown magic.

STATS:

Boosts the power of healing spells.

A consumable healing candy is dropped by defeated foes.

Health and mana prizes collected are also applied in full to party members.

Foes drop healing prizes on impact, which may only be collected by Brad and his party.

SKILLS:

Cure - The one, the only. Healing magic concentrated in a one-time burst of regenerative energy, bringing a party member in tatters back from the brink to full vitality. Has the eerie effect of making every encounter ten times as hard, as if the world's trying to compensate for something. Eats mana.

=o=

Magnetic North - Plant hanger made of some strange cobalt crystal, which projects magnetic fields.

STATS:

Foes drop mana prizes on impact, which may only be collected by Brad and his party.

Impacts drain mana from foes.

Impacts inflict magnetism on foes, draining mana and converting it into ambient mana, and prizes. Magnetism also halves the max shield of a foe, if they have energy shielding.

SKILLS:

North Pole - The closer it is to midnight, the stronger this spell is. The closer it is to winter, the stronger this spell is. Mana cost scales with these modifiers. Upon activating the prefab, Brad creates a magnetic schematic for magic to articulate to. May make a big ice tree, or may create a grand icy cataclysm.

=o=

Sighing of the Moon - Relatively harmless forgotten Lunarian relic, repurposed into a ring by Santa's folks at the North Pole.

STATS:

100% Moon resistance.

=o=

New Panties - Ha-chan, why, no...!

=o=

Crown of Frost - Royal garment of never-thawing ice. Surprise; you're the new holy roman emperor!

STATS:

50% Ice resistance

100% Freezing resistance

All melee impacts may chill foes.

==== GENKAN ====

Voyage in the Land of the Rising Sun - Sunlight kimono which severely debalances Genkan's existence. A symbol of love between Brad and Genkan, sacrificing her gift of the cold for passage and life in the sun.

STATS:

-200% Ice resistance

100% Sun resistance.

100% Fire resistance.

-100% Freezing resistance.

Halves the strength of all ice skills.

Increases the strength of all sun skills.

SKILLS:

Morning Sun - Genkan may emit gentle sunlight, staving off the current weather conditions.

Child of Dawn - Genkan emits a pulse of warmth, increasing the morale of her allies.

NOTES:

Cannot be worn by Genkan when it is cold. Removes a yuki-onna's need to consume heat and soul of humans, allowing them to absorb the summer sun's heat. Only crippling when it's ice-cold out or just above freezing.

=o=

Destroyer of Lands - A fucking huge pirate cannon that fires explosive cannonballs. Ammo can be purchased at Eientei, the Scarlet Devil Mansion or Murasa.

STATS:

Five cannonball magazine? Where's it store the ammo…!?

SKILLS:

Shoot - Shoots a cannonball. Does massive bomb damage in a huge radius. Insane knockback to the user and foes.

=o=

Martial Slipper Shoes - Chinese shoes for Genkan, which frame her feet. They're teal.

STATS:

Increases the strength of kicking skills. Easier to perform in than sandals, that's for sure!

=o=

Portable Expandable Dance Floor - A bunch of cool flashy tiles that can be laid down on any surface. Yeah, woohoo!

=o=

Dying of the Light - A ring forged in the heart of the North Pole. Emits otherworldly solar power, and could probably provide the means for a small city.

STATS:

100% Sun resistance.

==== MARIA ====

Snakeskin Eyepatch - Leather eyepatch that gets in the way, but may help on sunny days. Has a snake design on the outer face.

STATS:

50% Blind resistance

50% Dark resistance

=o=

Fulaffel - A fluffle that's kind, and will stay put on your head. Randomly summons friendly fluffles to help out.

STATS:

Randomly summons fluffle backup!

=o=

Donut T-Shirt - A t-shirt with a pink donut graphic on it.

STATS:

Randomly summons donuts in a large radius around the user, from above.

Doubles the power of healing items.

=o=

Small Jeans - Some small jeans for Maria. Kinda tight...

STATS:

User takes slight physical damage from rapid movements.

50% increased evade.

It's so tight, the pockets aren't a good idea to use.

=o=

God Empress of Mankind's Golden Treads - Huge gold boots that go up to her mid ankles! Yehahaah! Go Maria!

STATS:

50% Holy resistance.

50% Ice resistance.

50% Thunder resistance.

Boosts physical defense by 20%.

Increases stomping damage by 300%.

Decreases evade by 50%.

=o=

Queen's Guard - A weapon which gives its wielder the ability to fight to the death in defense of that which they protect- and has the power to back it up.

STATS:

When below half health, or when morale is broken, unleashes an amber aura from the wielder. Provides total superarmor for a limited time.

SKILLS:

Harsh Buckler - A special ramming attack Maria can perform with this heavy staff. Will make nearly any foe buckle their knees and fall back.

Blood and Steel Meet Bone - When the user channels an amber aura, allows Harsh Buckler to instead be this attack. Elaborate amateur melee combo where the user flails their staff around, backed by pure power and adrenaline. Unleashes random spells on each impact.

=o=

Hail to The Queen - A glorious ring with rubies, topaz and sapphire.

STATS:

15% Resistance to Fire, Ice and Thunder for each member in party. Includes self, providing 15% at base.

15% increase in spell power for each member in party.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

surprise, you're the new holy roman emperor!

this batch took a legendary amount of time to get started, despite the quarantine and life and things! this is becau~se…

==== CHAPTERS 7 THROUGH 11 HAVE BEEN REVISED ====

i have revised chapters 7-11 of FG! they are all freshly rewritten, combed over with a fine brush to fulfill chronological stuff

although panty-chan and janitor-chan don't make a big return in those chapters, the chapters still feature a lot of really curious and fun character moments!

i tried to maintain the same delirium of the original chapters, and i think i've done a pretty good job

admittedly, something is lost from reducing the total confusion, but i think overall the chapters are way stronger in terms of both establishing the comedy and setting out what they actually intended to do

the biggest difference is that the flandre arc isn't complete strange nonsense! it's actually got a plot, kind of! it's just for the duration of the arc basically, but it exists!

combat is also revised to be more impactful and make more sense, especially in coordination with the characters used

meiling is also present a little more than never; i wish i could've done more with her at the time but - w -

i encourage re-reading those chapters if anyone wants to be reminded of the time period, or if they're hangry after the seeming long hiatus; also because like, it's basically 100k words of revised content, which is quite literally mini-novel size

yeah i wasn't doin' nothin' over that hiatus man, i was writing a mini-book! so if you wanna read the 'batch' that supposedly fell into the void over my 'hiatus', it's that. in essence, this update contains two batches, totalling ten chapters or 150k - 200k words in value. an' lemme tell ya, that's some great value!

but this also raises the question if i wanna actually revise anymore of the story after that, just because it took so much time to do all of that, and because of how ff dot net parses updates, basically the only people who know are those who check their email to see updates for revisions and not just when the story updates, those who see this announcement, and newcomers

i also hope the stuff that comes after that holds up well enough by comparison! i think it doesn't need to be said the prose and dialogue differences will be really, really jarring

we'll see, if the story receives revising again it'll either be less committal or like really really spread out, maybe after FG is like, actually done too

when it'll finish… y'know, WHO CAN SAY at this point, bu~t we shall see

it's definitely not gonna go on forever! and let's just say i got some ideas…

but, again, when the story is over, if ai want to write more of brad and his party there'll probably be a series of post-FG omakes and episodic shorts condensed to single chapters as part of a separate indefinite drabble kinda work

'cause yeah i love genkan too much, and my party, and gensokyo, to never write about them again after FG is actually said and done

==== now back to talking about this chapter ====

half of it was opening christmas gifts, the other half some scene-setting

brad got to throw loafs at a house though dude

it's christmas day! and for christmas, brad gets a fluffle.

this was a pretty fun chapter that basically transitions last batch to this batch; it's not the most stand-out thing in the world but it's got fun moments!

s'kinda the product of this fic's super attached nature to brad's chronology! i got some fun ideas as for what brad could be doing, but there is a level of patience required; a lot of what brad does, especially with maria and genkan around is basically just vibin'

a real vibin' kinda story innit - w -

...I DUNNO it kinda speaks for itself dunnit, it's a really vibin, slow-burn transition-y kinda chapter

but we did get some punchy moments with sally, didn't we? it's not really like FG to have emotional drama or impact often (although genkan's presence increases the ratio by a lot) but these events kinda warrant it!

i'm reminded of matt; when he was on the team, he wanted to have a drama thing where vanilla's sister became relevant and that meant something dramatically, like as more of a heartfelt, sappy moment than it turned out being, but… i just didn't see how it could be paced or what the vision would've been for that

that and i was less literate with things that evoke proper sad emotions, especially then, this was probably like 40+ chapters ago…!

that, and i feel like matt had a problem with empathic literacy at times that presented a challenge when characterizing other characters, and gauging audience impact with ideas

not to say i was like miles ahead of him or anything at the start of FG, but i feel like the difference is really pronounced now

not that he actually really cared about touhou or really many of the literary themes i actually care about… at least, i think, that or he hated something or another about my execution or just me, it be like that

anyway, i think one thing i wanna do more often with genkan, is that since the frequency of in-depth genkan lewding will ultimately go down because we had our fun some chapters ago, it'd be nice if the moments they were romantic were short but powerful

just quick exchanges of 'i love you' timed at good moments, and strong loving statements to one another now and then

it hits the heart so hard, but it's also brief and doesn't overstay its welcome; or i'm pretty sure at least shouldn't for anyone sane

and if there's any impression i've gotten from my other works and people on my discord, is that FG is the rare exception to people's ability to tolerate actually going in-depth on any particular idea or concept; at least, for the kinda people i've drawn in for FG

which feels like a shame when i really wanna discuss or comprehend something- especially verbally to them- but what can ya do, people are people

...now that i think about it, i picked my party well, 'cause maria and genkan are both uncannily good listeners when the time comes! ha-chan too, actually, although she might not get what it is i'm bitchin' and moanin' about

it's probably more organic 'cause in-story we're in-person and spend a lot of time together… although, online or offline, it's easy to just not bother to listen when you return your own opinion

maybe it's overall less important to brad to get overcomplicated ideas across to genkan and maria and ha-chan 'cause he just enjoys spending time with them regardless of what they're doing - w -

hoh… but yeah, i'm havin' some good fun - w -

as always, see you all next time!