(MATTHEW GENERATIONS)

/ / / / MARIBEL HEARN'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

It's snowing for Canadian Boxing Day. We sit in a cafe again, relaxing. Except, this time, we're inside Gensokyo.

What's it like inside? Well… I want to say it almost doesn't matter. Green trim along the floors, pretty little windows. As like much of the village, the walls are very makeshift. Not Japanese, and decidedly not European either. Just… devoid of culture.

As it was intended to be. As it was decided.

"You've got to make a decision right now."

Renko sits across from me. It's the day after Christmas. We spent yesterday having fun, like usual.

"You're lucky it's the holidays. The college won't kill us, but our parents might. It's not too late."

Always so grounded, Renko. Realistic, cunning, thoughtful… and assertive too.

"You've got to make a decision, Merry." She repeats.

I've placed us upon a crossroad.

"Gensokyo?" Renko holds up one hand. "Or you?"

"Me?" Her question is strangely phrased this time. "I mean-... me?"

Renko smiles. "You haven't… been acting like you. The Merry-... the Maribel I knew would never be so… weird, about this. Something happened to you a week or two ago."

Hmm. "Maybe it's the offer of power. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, they say."

"That can't be it." Renko shook her head. "Merry wouldn't pursue power like that. She wants to see, to dream. Power doesn't mean anything to her- to you."

Renko…

"If I want to get what I want; that is, our betterment for tomorrow, then I…"

Renko interrupts me. "Japanese, please." Eheh. Too flowery? Yeah...

"If I want us to have a better future, a tomorrow so to speak, then, you know…"

I must be a monster today. To have enough bravery to take, for me and for you. I fear my regret greater than the siren of complacency.

'Cause I'm past that point. I will no longer be indecisive. But… I do fear where each decision leads me.

Which leads me back to being indecisive! Aah...

I've always lowkey been a procrastinator. I don't know if this escapism I seek is the ultimate form of procrastination- from life- or the antithesis of it; obtaining sublimity from the jaws of nothing, in spite of money, cost, substance, society, motive, resource…

Am I motivated, or am I just trying really hard to run away from my problems?

Perhaps I'm doing it in spite of my humanity.

Humanity is to be bound by all these things. If I let go of all of these things, if I ever forget of them… what will I be then? What will I be?

Gensokyo is full of so much life. It's a template. An image of what could be. Art, escapism, fantasy, the refuge from reality, given form. Brought into the corporeal realm, out of the mind's eye.

How do you think youkai survive? Fear is just one of the mind's catalysts, and it catalyzes belief. Youkai are belief given form. Fear, respect, love, anger and sorrow. A human is more powerful than anyone could ever know, yet it's also the basest form.

To be human is to be a pen. The human mind can pen anything. It can tell any story. Anger and fear, desire and love; that is the ink they write with.

Provided, the concept of the 'story' is something the humans adopted. Even the gods of old did not record or retell, they simply did.

The human mind is especially potent in reality. What do you do with your fear? You go to work. You get a job. You participate in society. You search for a partner, even for the mere partnership if not for love. The alternatives to doing these things are just that scary.

Starving to death. Dying alone. Having no one at your back when your mind- and world- crumbles.

What do you do with desire? You satiate yourself. Books, art, games, porn and sex, pleasant company, furniture for your abode, so on. You get a good job. Not just to survive, but to fuel living.

In Gensokyo? It's all a little more than that. Your fears are personified, they come to life. When you really get to know them, they're not all bad... usually.

A lot of these fears were relevant before Gensokyo. You may think some of them are things that could only exist in your dreams, like the great beasts and dragons.

You should know that they're still relevant today, just in new ways. Some myths are simple truths. The snake; deceit. The cow; stoicism, rigidity. The monkey; foolish enough to be brave, curious enough to be clever.

Gensokyo's mana is generated by belief. Where magic, myths, and mighty fear combine, it creates a powerful fantasy.

Fantasy? That's desire. Pure and simple. Even when reality and fear is incorporated to paint it. Fear is simply used to catalyze the illusion. It makes it believable.

Or rather, It's what harvests your belief.

And still, nothing is scarier than reality. That's why you'll happily campaign across hellscapes for hours in video games, read novels of complex crimes, or behold photos of the apocalypse. 'Cause, at least it's not reality. At least it's simple.

This's all why the Human Village is here. It's all very real, without art and culture. It cannot escape.

As for the rest of Gensokyo, however… let me give a few examples.

The Hakurei Shrine. The anchor point of all of Gensokyo. A monument to a bloody history, and to the strength of its peace moving forward. The ultimate symbol of the yin-yang, the balance that keeps everything so beautiful. Humanity and its physical shadow, the youkai, in harmony. The youkai, illuminating fantasy that the humans remain in the shade of. The center-piece of human drama.

The Moriya Shrine. A human drama unlike the Hakurei; of the fall of fantasy in the modern world, of the fall of divinity. I suppose it's also a mythic drama, in that sense. Yet, Sanae herself… is such a powerful young girl.

Eientei, the house of eternity. An extension of mankind's lust for the stars, visions of astrology and the sky, and the planets. Visions of the limits of knowledge, space and time. Home to myths fairly mundane, but basic concepts powerful on a scale unknown.

What do I tell Renko?

"Where were we again?" I smile at her sheepishly.

Renko's expression is flat. "Something about 'a better tomorrow'."

Oh, right.

"In order to take command of our future, power is…" I don't like it. I don't like the idea of violence. Really. Still, "it's a necessary evil."

"You moron." Renko growls her retort. "All you've needed are your shi-... your stupid plant hanger things you've lugged around. Right? We've never gotten in that much trouble."

"But we never get to the essence of any story. Of any fantasy." I can see what she cannot.

I hold my arms out, as if to imply the cosmic scale. "We are mere guests in their homes, in their universes and worlds. We are merely part of their shared conscience, but we lack the ability to see in, to gain… true insight. To experience these dreams at their most basic."

I shake my head. "Renko. In your pursuit of the realistic, you would return to the same flat life we've been living for twenty-some years."

Hakugyokurou. A… unique tragedy. One of a somewhat non-human scale, but still relatable. But, Yuyuko is a nice role model. Even losing her past, she persists as she is, a beacon of beauty in the netherworld. Even if it's all she can do now, it's a life. It's... lovely. She's so beautiful.

"Yeah! Obviously!" Renko was semi-incredulous with me. "It's our lives. That we've spent twenty years working for. Our families, our educations… they're us, Merry."

Oh, really?

"Those are our chains to society. Society may be our environment… but can we really say that? That it is our world? Should we really cling to society so blindly?"

The Scarlet Devil Mansion. A love-letter to the Victorian fantasy, idealized and vibrant. Full of bright colors to offset the ominous gloom that tends to hang over western fantasy. A case-study in how youkai, despite the distance they gain from humanity, ultimately still mirror, shadow and show similarity to their human roots. After all, at that mansion, they're a… family. Unconventional, maybe, but a family nonetheless.

"Yes!" Renko objected. "It's-... ugh. Merry. It's just how the world works. You can't fight that. It's our world. All we can do is- do our best."

How narrow-minded.

"We spend months for our college, at their behest. In work, we will be at the company's behest, or we will pay our price to live.

"Before college, we paid for our right to gain a chance at survival in school. Our worth is quantified relative to how much we provide back to our society."

I think I see a way out.

The Myouren Temple. Fitting of the laxest religion, those who manage it are the most transparent examples of being human in spite of beliefs and religious expectations. A plain establishment that exemplifies how inhibitions can corrupt the 'pure meaning' of religious tenets.

Still, in the face of all of these different, small worlds… what do I not know about these scenarios? Every individual involved has a story, a personal world and a universe in their mind's eye.

"What do you think you see that I don't?" Renko tries to negotiate with me.

"I think you don't see the fantasies I do." I tell her. "Though intelligent… your perceptions are limited, Renko. I don't think you see the depth of… things we could be looking at, like I do. You may not even value it on a basic level."

You're smart… but I'm wise. Wisdom… always beats being smart. Knowledge is what it is. Understanding of that knowledge is another thing. Understanding how that understanding fits into a web of understanding is philosophy.

"Is all of that really so important?" Renko frowns. "More than you? More than me?"

Of course not.

I shake my head. "I wouldn't trade you for the world."

Renko frowns very hard. "Me- Merry…"

"That's why I'd like you to come with me."

I'm not giving you up, Renko. See… I wouldn't trade the world for you. I mean that. I really do.

I'm trading the world for you.

I smile softly. "I don't want to go alone. I want to go with you."

It's the cowards way out, I guess. But, it's also a form of courage. I reach for my dream, as any human would.

"Why would I, though…?" Renko smiles like it's funny, and it kinda is. "You said I wouldn't be interested."

Ugh.

"I just-... I just feel like, if you would see- then maybe you'd get it. And maybe you've love it too. We could enjoy it together. Forever."

The burdens of mortality… the burden of tomorrow. All the fright, regret, and sorrow…

"I don't know where I'm going." I smile at Renko. "But I know I'll make it mine. And I hope you'll enjoy that. Just as you always do. Even if it's pulling teeth sometimes, to get you in on my silly schemes."

"I don't enjoy when it gets in the way." Renko returns. "I don't want us to lose what we have. What do you think Sanae would think? If we gave up on college, for… for what?"

"And what will college get us? In my new world?" I close my eyes. "You aren't seeing the bigger picture."

Renko sighs. "You aren't seeing the bigger picture."

...I wait for her to follow-up. Something's different.

"I can see exactly how this'll screw your life up if you don't fully commit." Renko glares at me. "And mine too. And I don't imagine anyone we're friends with… appreciates what you're planning to do. Especially if you plan to screw up their lives in the process. That's greed. Pure and simple."

Renko~... "You're so brilliant."

"Stop it with the complimentary non-sequiturs. Answer me." She snaps at me, but quietly.

"It is greedy." I admit. "But… it's so hard. It's so hard. I can't decide."

Renko slouches. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't know what to say. My problem's not a rational one. It's a me one. It's so definitely mine…

Indecision plagues me. Ugh.

What life… do I want to sacrifice? Which would I rather live?

The one I'm conditioned to live, or the one I wish to reach towards?

Fantasy? Reality? Youkai? Human? Fleeting? Eternal? Mortal? Immortal?

Something more specific? A member of the Hakurei clan… a rabbit on the moon- an ancient swordsman- a witch- a maid- a villager- an envoy-...

One thousand eyes.

It's a painful choice. The wrong one will leave me with regret.

But, for everything I can't see… I can't see how life's gonna feel when I pick one. I can't see how we'll like it. Renko could see that, I'm sure. If only she knew what I knew too. If only she wasn't… well… I don't know.

It's like I have a thousand eyes. Trying to work with her small perspective… but seeing so many possibilities…

The curse of the wise.

If only we could see through the same pair of eyes.

…Man.

"You have to decide, Merry."

I heave a sigh.

Maybe…

Renko is on to something. Just maybe.

I can see it in her mind. 'If only we could see things the same way,' she thinks. She's always been one for novel solutions, when I've run out of mental willpower.

"The same pair of eyes…"

/ / / / MATT'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

Ha~h.

Well. Upkeep on our business will be tight. We don't have any blood to sell our customers. That means no beer.

Not like it matters. We haven't opened yet, anyway. Maybe we'll take blood donations. They'll be for a good cause.

It's… Canadian Boxing Day. Quite a bright day, at that. A wispy, ethereal winter day. Expect partial snow showers.

"We have some errands to run." I inform Shikome. We're not really safe apart anymore.

Shikome shuffles around, and gives me her usual look. She's just been admiring the walls of the now-empty loli room, for now.

Now that I have a moment, and I've taken time to relax… what now? The threats to my well-being seem less distant. At least, for the moment. Yesterday, I somewhat… lost my cool.

Yes. With Shikome by my side, something as stupid as last time shouldn't so easily happen again. She wouldn't let something like that slide, probably. Probably.

Things would, admittedly, be easier if we could talk directly. However, she gets my intentions. She does understand what I say. She just chooses not to say anything.

"Let's go." It's time to hit the road.

...Shikome must sense the off-nature of the tavern, now. It's quite off. Small Packages is quite lifeless without the constant blur of profit and commotion, even in the morning hours.

We head down the pile of crap we use in the place of stairs, and towards the front door…

Clack, clack. Tossing the saloon doors open, I adjust my officer's uniform, and frown at the snowy village roadside.

I'm ready for business.

I wonder...

"It's a beautiful da~y." I'm a little offkey, but my singing is a lot more effective than usual. Maybe it's the fact I'm a kitten.

"It is a rather nice day…" Oh?

Some brown-haired girl muttered as such, as she moved into some house to our left. The one between Small Packages and the Golden Grin. She had a basket on her.

Probably the property inspector, or something. There's no good uniform for officials here. Why would there be, when we don't even have good buildings?

"The day for a glorious-..." Hmm. I'm not sure what I'm trying to sing. No words come to mind.

Turning back, I see Shikome behind me, inquisitive and blunt as usual.

"It's a terrible da~y." Let's try again. "A terrible day, for a kitty~..."

That went nice. Let's not do that again. We did it: we sang a single line coherently.

Where is Vanilla? That's quite a pressing question now. She's important to our operation. Unlike the traps, that Aiko bitch, or anyone else.

Is she still at Eientei? Did Seiga get her? Ugh. Rebuilding the momentum I had before will be a bitch, and it's clear it won't last. Not with this track record.

Maybe I'll need to plan for a finale, of some kind.

Yet, Shikome's not going to be able to kill as many as possible from within the village itself, I'm sure. A massacre simply has no point. It's just… pointless. A waste.

It's a waste because it doesn't accomplish a goal. It doesn't send a message. If you're angry at everyone, you destroy everyone, not some. If you want to destroy a government, you destroy that government, not random people.

Then again, typically, such people are driven by anger, and anger blinds. In their blind rage, they just destroy.

I'm not angry. I'm not angry- I'm vengeful. I've been spited. I've had my sense of security stolen from me.

We're going to the school first. I need a good plan later. My mind races with ideas, but there's too many variables. I need paper… and a pen.

No, if I want to erase this village that Yukari is puppeting, I'm going to need to aim high. Natural disaster high. Bombs aren't going to work. We won't be able to fight things on our own.

Not without a single, all-out sucker punch. Something that wipes this land clean.

...Hmph. I can dream.

Ultimately, I don't know if I'm angry enough to carry that out. You see, the reason very little actually smart people do massive, monumental bombings is because they have the intellect to be self-preservative.

Also, R&Ding big bombs, making them work consistently, all that stuff- it's as tedious as programming with no actual self-serving payoff later. You can see why people just don't bother.

But, this is Gensokyo. Considering the life these villagers are left to leave, maybe it will be a mercy.

We reach the village square.

Adjusting my officer's cap, as it rests atop my foreign ears, I set for the school.

/ / / / SHIMOKOA'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

"Uu- um…"

I drift across the snow-laden plains, where my sisters play. Beyond the Forest of Magic. Past the foothills, in the northern Gensokyo plains, past where any human of recent history has seen before.

In this moment, I stand before three of them.

"She's so- weird looking!" Some fairy points down at me.

"You're-..." One of my sisters is skeptical.

A green-white wearing sister frowns at me. She floats, acting as a shield for the two younger ones.

I don my mask, of shade and frost. My long maw of icicles is accented by my fierce, green glare.

"I ask for your help." Mima and I speak together. "We have been oppressed for too long. Our only barrier now is ourselves. We can reform humanity- to Our image."

...My deeper green-favoring sister shakes her head. "Shimokoa, yes?"

"...Yes." That is my name, yes.

"I'm afraid of death. As are we all. Very few people do not fear death. Even less do not avoid it. It's always there."

This sister of mine- I neglect her name- closes her eyes. "I plan to travel and sing. Combat with the humans will do us no good. It never goes well. They are not our only source of sadness."

What foolishness. "This land is horrible because of humans. Despite that, they are a tool open for the taking. Can you not see the potential?"

...She shook her head. "I do not think war is good. Can't you accept that this era is more peaceful? We used to die to oni. We used to be killed by the vicious summer fauna, fed upon akin to their human prey. Our beauty, while respected, was also desired. This is why we hide over the summer. This is why we play in the snow. We are the biting cold."

"No." I have to object. She can't think she's completely right- even if she's logical. "...You disrespect me. I have been wronged countless times. I lose friends all the time. I'm sick. I'm si- sick of it."

She closes her eyes. "...Well-"

"No!" I yell back. "I have to take, back! We're taking it back! Every death- we're taking it back!"

This anger…

My body burns with Mima's green-black ire. Is she angry too? I'll never know. I can only assume.

If I've lost seven of my best friends in sequence- what of the others? What of Genkan? Literally swept into the tide of manipulation upon the shore's first waves?

Every other emotion- every other thing we stand for- can sit aside. Because this is what we have to do.

"Shimokoa." The earthy sister frowned. "You're becoming… a monster."

Really.

"Do you see your own face?" She twisted her head to the side a little, as if examining. "It's not the face of a hero."

"Weak-hearted fool." I feel Mima announce it with me. "Sometimes you have to be a monster. In this world of monsters- the only-... the only good thing to do is to be an even bigger monster."

"Do you hear yourself talking?" She shook her head. "...My friends have already left. You scared them away."

So I did.

"So your solution to the murder, to the wrongs," she raised a finger, "is to pillage, murder and wrong in turn?"

I've come too far to be weak. "Yes." Obviously. "The village. The beasts. Everything-... ee- everything-... that is not my friend."

She gave me a wounded look.

"No second chances. No third, fourth, seventh or eighth chances. When everything is bloody, and everyone understands my pain, I'll-... I'll listen. I'll nod in knowing. The debt in blood… repaid."

I'll nod in knowing, because I will have been right.

At first, she says nothing. I see she finally understands my pain. At least my sisters are receptive. Or, rather, can be receptive.

"Join me." We will build a terrible army. We will stare and stab down a million humans.

She smiled.

"I'll raise you one better." She gave me a nod. "Yesterday, my best friend was killed. A sister I'd known for more than two hundred years. She's gone forever now. Our friendship will live on in my mind forever."

I-...

I- I…

"I loved her more than a friend, even." She closed her eyes. "She was… part of my world. Things will be forever emptier now."

Genkan. Zarame.

My eyes water up.

"I-..." Gods, no… "I'm ss- so… sorry…" I need to work faster. Damn it…

Coming up to her, I hug her.

"I- I'm so sorry…"

Her eyes are slightly moist. She says nothing, but stands there, allowing me to hug her. She slowly hugs me back.

"It's…" She begins a sentence. "It's- fine…"

"It's- not." I affirm. "I will repay your blood debt. Personally."

"No."

What…?

I let go of her. "What- do you mean?"

She exhales. "My beloved would not want a trail of blood. No battle of honor, no legend of slaughter. She…" She shut her eyes again. "Sh- she would want me to-... see this through, my way. The way we planned. The-... this project of ours."

Taking pause, swallowing, she focused on me again. "I'll recount this world's tales, and legends told. Our love that was-... that shall be strengthened by the hymns of old. We've always been fascinated by the world, but too afraid to leave."

"Now that the worst has come to pass… I have no fear anymore. I will travel this world. Past broken swords, and dragon's bones, scattered on the way back home…"

Scattered on the way back home, as her beloved was.

"I will raise my voice with cheer, song, and volume." She decided. "This world will hear my voice until I am destroyed."

"That's-..."

I can't say anything about that.

She gave me a bow. "Goodbye, Shimokoa. Let us see which of our resolves will be more effective at changing the humans."

"Hmm?" Is that-... what she's been hinting at?

"My heart and voice, or your racing anger and domination." With that, she began to slowly drift away. "May our paths cross again in a time of peace, may we both survive our hardships, and may the most just of us win."

...I nod. "Challenge accepted. Either way, consider your debt repaid."

She snorted, and began accelerating. "No changing your mind…"

Indeed. Although, I see she learned that through our conversation.

Much luck to you, beloved sister. May fortune shine down upon you, and may you one day feel to love- and be loved- again.

She gently sang, as she left. "Broken swords, and dragon's bones. Scattered on the way back home…"

/ / / / MATTHEW'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

I push into Keine's office.

...Seated, easy and peaceful, Keine looks up from a cup of coffee, and some files. She seems quite snug, there. That's too bad.

"We need to talk. Now." I'm not taking shit today. I'm back, asshole. Didn't expect to see me, did you?

She focuses her gaze, as if ascertaining who I was for a brief moment. "...Sa- Sabrina?"

"Yes. It's me."

It's too awkward to glare, just yet. But I'm hellishly confrontational.

Instead, I put the burden on Keine to talk. She does as I predicted. "What-... what's up? What do you want?"

"I want you to put a leash on your bitch." Of course, I mean… "Mokou. Fujiwara. Her."

Keine had her brows furrowed. Aw, did I make her uncomfortable? "...What do you mean?"

"Your bitch was just one of many- who were a big pain in my ass the other week." I frown. "Have you not noticed that Shikome has suddenly stopped attending classes?"

Now more focused, aware of the conversation and settled, Keine frowned. "Shikome… is dangerous."

"She and others have plotted against me." I bet she's not that compassionate. "I was betrayed. I was set up to be killed. Does that mean nothing to you?"

"That's-" Keine was alarmed. "I- I didn't know- anything about that."

"She shot me with a bullet. That Mokou." I feel at myself. The wound is long since gone. "Is there no justice?"

...Keine steeled herself, however. "We'll have to talk with her. Mokou-... she knew what you were doing. You're not the only victim of your actions."

Hmm? "What do you mean?" Clarification is always good.

"Shikome murdered people. She tried to kill Mokou. Mokou- has witnessed you kill villagers. For no reason other than for the sake of killing."

Hmh. Hm, hm, hm.

"I think you need to reconsider your trust in her." This Mokou… "She's spiteful, is she not? How do you know this isn't because I insulted her?"

Keine glared at me. "Mokou is stronger than that. Far stronger."

"How do you know that?" I press.

"You don't know her." Keine countered. "I've known her for years. She can be petty- but she's not so petty as to condemn an innocent like- like that."

"Think again."

Keine suddenly slid around her desk, and came up to me.

"Mokou has condemned an innocent man before." Keine announced. "She has watched the innocent be hung. That haunted her forever. She's very careful. When she says she's seen wrongdoing, I believe her. Do you know the gravity of your own accusations?"

"Then put me on fucking trial and don't just kill me." Keine may be way taller than me- but I can still point up at her. "Fucking dictator." My girl voice enables me to be spiteful at less social cost.

Keine still jerks her head back. "...You'd be right, but youkai-... are not villagers. I'd vouch for a exception, so you could see trial- but-"

"But nothing."

Keine frowns harder. "When youkai are too violent- there's nothing I can do. I can't make people see the good in them. Not when they can't see the good in themselves. When their impulses get the better of them. That's when they become the monsters people make them out to be.

"I don't defend monsters. Human or youkai. If you want to be part of the village, you must be civilized. Civility means not murdering or harming others."

She frowns down at me. I glare up at her. Behind us, we're framed by the monochrome-blue day, and the fluttering snow. White-blue light pierces in through that decorated window.

I give a look outside. Then, I look at Keine again. "What is a monster to do? When they're already assumed as such, with no chance of recompense?"

Her face becomes more tired. "...If you genuinely want to make good… then, we'll see. But it will take time. Trust is earned, not given. It can go both ways. It may've started neutral… but, now it's bad. Very bad."

Pft. "As if I won't be attacked again before then."

She took a breath, and looked focused. "You and her… you're youkai. If you lived outside the village, and came inside for business, in a way we could monitor, then… there would be a lot less grief."

"So I have to change how I live?"

Keine nodded. "Well… yes. You've killed people. Shikome has killed people."

Fucking. "Who-... cares?"

...Keine shifts on her body posture, adopting a more haughty posture.

"It's happened. So what?" I huff. "I know you don't like hearing this. However, we cannot deny what happened. Now we can continue. If you want me to stop, I'll stop."

"I…" Keine blinked, very slowly. "I don't think… you understand what you've done. I expected you to plead not-guilty."

"You think you'd approve of honesty." I get closer to her. "...It wasn't all my fault. Some of it was. But if you don't listen to me, you'll never know."

"You're still somewhat guilty. Of murder." Keine shook her head. "Even one callous murder is too much. Way too much."

Again…

Again, again, again and again. This shit.

The worst has come to pass.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

"This is why I'm a monster." I glare up at her. "You've put my in this position. When things would be so much easier for the both of us if you just… would leave well enough alone. If Mokou would. If others would.

"You freaks are hardly worthy of each other's trust."

As the snow continues to fall, and we frown one another down… we stand at an impasse.

"Well." Keine frowned. "If you try to live in this village still… I won't go out of my own way, but I will stop you."

"That's quite non-committal of you." I can't help but note.

"Because I'm not the person who has to always keep the peace." Keine told me. "I help keep this village maintained. Alive, living, well-fed, happy. I do a service to the humans, so people like Reimu can stop you."

"She won't stop me." I shake my head.

"...How do you know?" Keine gave me a numb look. She's stopped frowning, treating me more like a presence than a person.

"I won't let her."

I have my ice scissors drawn.

"I especially won't let you."

Keine's eyes widen.

Running up the wall past her side, I flip off of it.

"Fatal Blizzara." Goodbye, Keine.

CLICK! When I try and thrust the blade into her like a passing saw, she uses a stapler to parry my attack.

SKRISH! I land on her desk.

She retreats for the door out- and I leap at her.

Keine turns back.

"Got you." I'm too fast. I shove the blade at her.

SHIK! Ugh. It doesn't hit anywhere vital. She stops it with her arm outright, ice running up her limb's skin.

Her face contorting in rage, Keine's other arm grips my collar tight-... oh. Oh.

She reels her head back, holding me up, and-

WHAM! Fuck! Fuck… she- headbutt me.

My nose is broken. "Ngh- hk- nnn…" There's- a lot of my blood all over my suit. Fuck. Cleaning this will be a chore.

Wh- ah. She tries to get my arm- no, fuck off. Fuck off.

Shik- SHIK. I stab the scissor into her- but she's got my arm tight. "Let go! Let-"

Wh- aagh-

Krk- KRACK. What-... the fuck.

"Gh- aa- aa!" My arm- is breaking. Fuck you, Keine. Fuck you. Fuck-

SHOOF! One of Shikome's tendrils pierces the wall from outside.

Seeing this, Keine's eyes widen, and she floats into the air.

CRACK- FWISH! Keine runs, shattering the big window in the back of her own office, soaring through the glass and off into the winter air.

KRAK- BOOM! The room rumbles, the brick wall before me exploding gloriously into plaster dust and tumbling rock.

Shikome bursts through, glaring through the dust, tendrils spreading through the office.

I call out for her. A chase will not end well for us. Shikome can't fly. Everyone else can.

"Hold oo- ow!" I hold out my arm. "Shi-... Shikome!"

Shikome stops, and sees me.

Coming up to me, she notices my-... arm.

It's broken. That fucking asshole broke my arm.

...Shikome stares intently at this wound of mine.

"I-..." Well. "I just need-... a potion, or two. Let's- go see about one."

/ / / / A TRAIL OF FIRE BEHIND US / / / /

Turning up to the Kirisame Magic Shop, I push the door open, and browse inside.

Right up to the front counter. I will be served.

"Potions," I bark. "For health. Healing. I have money. Bring them to me now." The pain has dulled- a strange, unique horror, but…

Right. I'm more youkai than man now. This wound will come undone in time. I forgot.

Turning from his wares on the rear, behind-counter shelves, Marcus Kirisame looks at me, at first unimpressed.

"Yeah?" He nods. "How many?"

All. "Some. Three." Three is good. "Six." Backups.

He leans in towards me a little, looking me over. "...Y'know. I didn't really like, 'preciate that brick y'threw the other day."

...Hmm? "Wasn't me." Couldn't be.

"The tree." Marcus smiled. "...D'ya remember? It was a week 'er two ago."

Wait… fuck. "I remember that, now that you mention it. ...Still wasn't me."

"Mmm? That's funny." Marcus pointed out the window. "That little demon girl only follows you."

...Wait.

He shook his head. "Just 'cause you're a youkai now… you don't fool me. I'm no old fool."

With few choices, I glare up at him. "I need-"

crk. Fh- fuck. My arm's… my arm is working to recombine. Since I'm a youkai of a sort now- it's regenerating on its own. The joint…

"I- need- a potion." To hasten the process- and reduce the pain. "Quickly!"

"Hmm." He huffed. "...Tell ya what. You got a hundred thousand yen on ya?"

You fucking old fogey. "Fuck you."

"Oh, do I hear a hundred thirty thousand?" He smiled like an asshole. "Heh. S'about what this shop cost to repair. Not a dent to me, but can't go makin' exceptions, right?"

"You'll- hhh…" I hiss. "You will lose more than this shop… if you do not grant me- my shh-... potions."

Marcus nodded. "Ungrateful little shit."

I snort. "Nnn…"

krk- Krack. Fuck-... it- it's too late-...

Krack! "Nngh-" Damn it! "Aaaa- aaaa~!" My pain causes me to roar.

Ding- ding! Shikome pushes the door open, and comes to my side.

That's fine. You've spelled your doom, Kirisame. "Shi- Shikome-..." My good arm points at him. "He-... him. Eat him."

Marcus saw Shikome snap her intent gaze to him.

fwish. A single tendril went through his head.

Except, the image of Marcus flickered out, turning jade-turquoise, then vanishing. He'd fucking escaped, somehow.

"...Hufh." Damn.

Shikome turns to a wall. She knows where he went. But…

She takes pause, looking at me.

...I shamble to my legs again. I guess I can take what I please.

Coming around his desk, I start shoving random potions into my pockets. Let's see how much cash is in that register.

...Hmh. Not as much as I'd hoped. All twenty thousand-some yen is mine now, at least.

Clack. Tossing the register tray aside, I let the worthless coins spill.

What's this? A letter he was writing? I don't understand it, obviously. Japanese.

Rip. I rip it up. Yeah, that sucks. Get fucked. Wait...

Turning to Shikome, I give it to her.

Shikome takes the letter pieces. Immediately, she slowly brings the pile together.

Huh. ...After vaguely trying to fit them together, she gives up and drops them. Mmh, good enough.

Well. That was fun. Guess I'm done here.

I feel at my arm where the pain echoes through me.

...God. I've really become something of a monster, haven't I?

/ / / / SHIMOKOA'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

"Hfuh…" I graze the Misty Lake's side. Under the beautiful snowfall, as tomorrow's storm rolls in.

Why? I'm coming for him. Any human I see- even the Hakurei. Especially the Hakurei. I will massacre them at their lowest.

I've become the monster now. They will fear me. I will not fear them!

/ / / / MARIBEL'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

I stand on a platform made of magic. Way above the Human Village, with most of Gensokyo in view.

Below, Keine Kamishirasawa flees from a recent assault, hiding out in an alcove in the village she knows Mokou frequents. Mokou isn't around there, but it's safe.

Marcus Kirisame makes his way to the edge of the village, cautious of threats. He stops. He holds his breath. He waits and listens.

In the distance, Reimu Hakurei drinks tea on this peaceful winter day.

Past the shrine, Shimokoa roves the land, lusting for blood. She's not gonna find much aside from random youkai.

Matthew runs down the main street with his goodies, to stash them at his home, the bar named Small Packages.

Maria and her mother are home together for today. They're baking some bread as practice, and staying warm.

Brad and Genkan are having a good time in their cave, across the Forest of Magic, out of my view. Even I can't easily see what goes on underground. Not yet.

"As you can see…"

Yukari pauses in the air before me. "It is by their desires which humans prosper. Despite this, they allow faith to rule them."

"Considering that… is it really fair to call us evil?"

It's a question of the ages. On a macro-sized scale… I cannot say I disagree. But, a direct answer would be unfair. It's so interesting to hear everyone's opinions.

"Faith?" I question. "Some of these people… in what way are they faithful?"

"To society and their fears, to ideology, and to common thought."

Yeah. Broadly, yeah. That's not true for everybody, but at least one category applies to most people.

"We are not evil." Yukari reminds me. "We are the administrators of Gensokyo. Moderators. We are not rulers. We do not command people. We manage. We don't lead.

"We are evil by definitions set by those predisposed by their own beliefs. Beliefs that do not hold the same strength of character as our goals."

Yeah. They generally don't complain if it goes down smoothly. The things you- that Yukari does don't cause problems. She fixes problems. She quietly settles differences with no grand announcement, no fuss.

She gives me a strangely stern look. "We will not be seen leading a glorious charge on the battlefield. Only when we seek to set an example, or to make a fool's play. Never for its own sake, unlike a king or queen."

What if… "What about the acquisition of… of things?" If we needed something, how would we take it?

Yukari nods. "You do it through peace; the battleground of the shrewd and wise.

"Even this Gensokyo I forged… I did not fight the Hakurei. We had no battle of seals and spells. No epic sword duel, no grandiose rapier ripostes, no... conflict. No conflict. None of it.

"We reasoned. We dealt. It was an offer they couldn't refuse. We both got what we wanted. They were eventually consumed by age, being human. I don't obey age.

"I was patient. I wanted this world then, but in waiting, I got it now. It may have taken a hundred thirty years, but I think that's quite short relative to the history of things. Don't you?"

That's true.

She continued. "To be dominant is to be above the animal game plan of strength and power."

...I-... see…

"Self-control is dominance. Implied dominance is the 'meta' of maintaining power on the social battleground."

That's something. By that implication… succumbing to the desire to create my own world at all is weakness.

"Mmm…" Yukari gave me a huge smile. "On that note, do you not have any desires, Maribel?"

I guess I'll pose her a question. "Do you?"

"Hmm." Yukari's smile became warmer. "Well, a cute boy to warm me up would be nice today. Maybe a date. We can hold hands, have a picnic. Maybe I could gossip with some of my friends. Perhaps simply wander the Gensokyo I've helped to form."

Then I will ask directly… "Is wanting to create my own world weakness?"

"It's escapism," Yukari observed. "Obviously, yes. It's very weak. It's beyond weak. You will be, in a way, weaker than all those you've known." Wow. "But…"

Yukari spun around. "Look around you. If I had not been so weak… you would not see this miraculous world. As a youkai, I live indefinitely longer. The mistakes of yesterday are trivial. A hundred years later, I drift here, still dreaming. Still nurturing the lovely thoughts.

"You see, the strong working people have adapted to the life they lived. Conversely, they will never adapt in the ways you do, nor will they achieve the dreams you will.

"They have the strength to give up and concede such things to the world. The strength to bury their dreams, to be dominant over fantasy, to embrace reality, and the quick death that comes with it."

...I see. Is that really strength? It is sacrifice. But it's also short-sighted.

I see all that reality is and has to offer. Conversely, the common person does not. They even might actively resist getting that glimmer. They might be incapable of comprehending that beyond their initial scope of familiarity.

Yukari held her arms up lackadaisically. "That's not to say this can't be a scenario where hard work hardly works, thou~gh."

Aah. I see. Yeah.

The effort they spend sacrificing their dreams is the effort they could also be spending achieving them.

"What of resources?" I ask. "Real necessities. Food, water. Basic humanities. A human can't just forsake their animal side."

Yukari considered this. "Those who must live adjacent or in cooperation with a society, then, would have to make a few sacrifices. That still isn't to say the dream should be abandoned, obviously. They need the mental fortitude to keep the plan flexible."

That's asking a lot from the common asshole. People can't even have the bravery to get a job without college, and college is-... only variably useful. School too. People can't even have the bravery to test around school half the time.

Yukari goes on to answer a question I've had in my head. "You're wondering, Maribel, if you would live to regret it, aren't you?"

I could regret abandoning reality to establish my world; the same way a highschool drop-out might fear working towards the GED. How a college drop-out might fear opening a business.

Hmm. Well… it has its perks. It's a sacrifice of its own, to be certain.

Yukari stated her own resolve. "Myself… I would never go back on the choices I made. I would always pick the life I've lived."

...I see.

"Thousands of years ago… I don't even remember how long ago…" Yukari opened up to me, only a little. "I realized something."

"This kind of life is fantasy unfounded. This is a world beyond. Insanity and lunacy; abstraction from the realistic, failing world.

"Long after our human remains are gone, the fantasy we take on will live forever. Blood and flesh is weak, but belief and fear are forever.

"Human concepts and myths, as long as humans exist, are forever. Some myths only live as long as they are believed and still told, but the concept as a whole will forever live on.

"In that way, their refusal to see my world- to see all worlds- is infinitely weaker. Without contest.

"In my potential, I am without peer."

Smiling, smug, she nodded at Gensokyo. "Such is why it is self-destructive to tout myself as a warmonger, or a beast, or anything such. Long have I learned that there is no value in such… simple living.

"After all. I chose this job because I love the concepts. I love fantasy. If I want to wield and manage all of these stories… all of these dreams, then who am I to dictate, deal, deride or decide? I am no one. I take no- or as little- of a part as possible.

"I observe. I see. That's what I love to do.

"I will live forever."

With a thousand eyes.

Like I've killed a hundred years of time in a hundred seconds, I stand there, overlooking Gensokyo.

Yukari drifts playfully around me.

I'm worried that-... "I am a monster."

Yukari jerked her head back, taken from her ascended mood. "...Why would you ever be worried about that?"

I twist to look at her.

She smiles. "You always were one."

Hmm. That's quite cheesy. "Really?" I guess we've been waxing the cheese wheel for a little while now. But, it all feels so real...

"As are we all, in honesty." Yukari gained a warm grin at my own honesty. "Some more than others. We all have to be a little monstrous. In a world of monsters, if you aren't the predator, you're the prey. That's a plain fact."

How awful.

"Quite." Yukari agrees. "Mmm. By monstrous, I mean… the strength to be dominant. Dismissive of irrelevant desires, irrelevant fears, and that which is petty."

She leaned towards me a little. "Such is the basis of wisdom, you know. ...It's not the whole picture, obviously, but with adequate courage, anything is possible."

I snort. "With adequate courage, you can achieve the Dunning-Kruger effect."

...Yukari grinned. "Smart ass." Pfteh. "True, true. The line between arrogance and confidence is always a tricky one, for many. Hmm."

She decided to think about it.

The wind up here is meaningless to us. The cold, sun, anything- it doesn't matter. No one can see us up here, either.

Gentle falling snow casts the world below in a shifting, wonderful light. Gensokyo's like a big snow globe, like this…

"Have you ever shaken it?" I wonder.

Yukari snorts. "I feel like that would be a small-time tragedy."

It goes without saying, I'd think, but Yukari can read what I talk about here.

"...So, have you?"

"Once or twice." Heh. "I wouldn't recommend it. It can be hilarious. Not something to do too frequently, however."

I'd bet. Hmm. ...How many layers of metaphor is that on?

Ah, wait. The Perfect Cherry Blossom incident was kinda like that, wasn't it?

"Anyone strong must be enough of a monster to be above small problems. Strength and wisdom both stand on this virtue." Yukari came up with a more concise idea.

"What's wisdom?" Let's clarify that.

"Logic beyond knowledge. Or rather, the ability to use knowledge in a meaningful way." Yukari decided. "Having the intuition to recognize subtle patterns and social cues. Knowing how these things blend a picture together is wisdom. Often, these pictures are people, or how people interact together in a broad way.

"Let me give an example," Yukari proposed. "Love."

That's a hard one. "...What is love?"

Yukari doesn't make the obvious joke. "No. Aah… anyway. Probability of love on a large scale among humans can be summarized in basic ways. Men are straightforward, they just have preferences and that's that. Women can be deterministically evaluated by the courage of their partner first, then their preferences second."

Ah, right. Females look for a mix between sexual attraction and how much the partner can provide. Men usually do the fighting and providing, so they typically look for a partner. Historically, women have had an easier time finding love.

I've gotta say, "sounds like knowledge to me."

"It's required to judge people," Yukari decides. "If a cute guy came up and flirted with you, you could keep your perceptions in mind. To clarify to yourself what you want from him. A good time? Something more? To provide? This is especially important for you. Because…"

Yukari came up, and laid a hand on my cheek. "Between you and me… you won't be seventeen forever, Maribel."

Um. "I'm eighteen."

"Exactly!" Yukari pouted. "Wasn't seventeen a great year?"

I mean, it was. Me and Renko had the time of our lives trying to get into here. Dreaming, and seeing things.

"I'm basically saying, you really aren't going to need anyone to provide for you. By far."

Yukari interlocked her fingers, and smiled in a strange, shy way. "So when you think of a man… think of his character. Perhaps you could invest in someone more of a dreamer. Dreamy, perhaps. A real nice gentleman."

I- I think, whenever that time comes, I'll know what to look for…

Yukari's face faulted. "You really won't, trust me."

Oh, okay. "What do you know that I don't?"

"Experience." Aah. Wait- but that's not a great argument on its own…!

"What kinda experience?" I wanna know.

"Womanly experience." She's not gonna tell me, is she…? "But, if you really must know a thing or two…"

"Know that courage is a good key to love," Yukari actually tells me something! Ooh? "A male might often push this to their advantage, but anyone can love a strong character. Mix intellect with the correct timing, the correct nuance, and a little luck, and you'll be in the right direction. That's when it gets complicated.

"Then you've got to answer more deep questions, if the relationship is to last. How agreeable are each of them? Introverted, extroverted? Too different, or too similar? Do they cover the same strengths, share the same weaknesses?"

Man. "Yeah…" Internalizing this sort of knowledge and applying it easily is a kind of wisdom. We can only talk on a seriously large scale, talking about generic people and no one in particular, but…

Yukari sighed. "I've been talking too much. My head is getting light..."

"Yeah, you have." As smooth as your voice is… but, this hasn't been bad.

The Christmas-time weather has filled my heart. As the day continues, the horizon just… does it for me. It's so good.

"But, do you see what I mean?" Yukari confirms. "...Knowing what dominance is relative to yourself and others is wisdom. Knowing how love works is wisdom. I suppose you could abstract it to mean 'psychological intelligence', or something. But most people, when they think of an intelligent person, they think… two-plus-two kind of smart. Not people-smart."

That is really distinct, isn't it?

Yukari smiled. "That's why I have Ran. I'm not as good with numbers, on my own."

Yeah. "That's why I have a smartphone."

"Touche."

Yeek. "Please say anything except 'touche'. It's so… cliche."

"Touchy." Oh, you.

/ / / / SHIMOKOA'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

"...Aaw, man." Mima speaks, breathing out through my maw, as I travel Gensokyo's plains.

"What?" I wish she would not speak. "...Stop talking." I make my request. "Be quiet for several days."

"Hehehe…" Mima liked that. "I'm bored."

"Be bored." Work takes effort. Cold is the undoing of energy… therefore, I need no energy for effort. I can do this all day.

"Man-..." Mima, however, is a different story. "This is always the hardest part a' any plan. I hate waitin'."

"That's probably why they always go bad." I'm just assuming, but I don't like Mima, so I'll assume away. "You're impatient."

"If you say so." Mima supposed.

...I'm not pleased with such a half-hearted answer. "Do something about it."

"Pfhuh." Mima let her left brow raise a crack- which Shimokoa felt on her own face. In this way, Shimokoa directly felt what this sassy look was like to simply execute. "Been noticin' you've got a chip on your shoulder. That's fine and all, but…"

"But?" ...Shimokoa experimentally raised that eyebrow up and down, as if reminded that this was a motor function humanoids had.

Mima took pause, noticing this curiosity. Then, she continued. "It'd help if you were less of a buzzkill. Not that it matters much…"

Mmm. "It would help if you were not an awful being."

Somehow, Mima didn't seem offended by my gentle but cutting remark. Or… so I imagine it was, at least.

"That said," I'm not done yet, even. "You must not have been listening. My mood, my anger, is my conviction. You may be without honor, conviction or even purpose, but I-... I am a hero, ultimately."

"Keep tellin' yourself that." Mima shot back. "If you want hero stories, man, back in my day…" She huffed. "And I had a purpose, numbnuts. Shut the fuck up when you don't know what you're talkin' 'bout."

Hypocrite. "Practice what you preach."

"Make me."

...Then, Mima laughs. "He- hehehe. Aw, man. I need booze."

"I don't."

"Aww~, c'mon. Try a li'l." Mima patted-... me on the cheek, but it was like patting myself- whatever. "It won't hu~rt."

"I used to drink. No more." I need all the awareness I can get. "Drinking won't make my problems go away."

"Pfh. Pussy."

Her venom fuels my anger. I hate this world.

"Fuck you." I express my anger.

We're aside the Misty Lake still. I glare out into the waves.

"Fuck. You." I heave a sigh. "Just shut up. Shut up. When I said be quiet, I meant it. I meant it!"

I inhale.

"I! Meant! It!"

...Mmm. I'm reminded of that phenomena. Say a phrase too many times, and it loses meaning. In my anger, I focused on those three words hard enough to achieve something similar.

Meant. Meant. Meant. ...Me- ant. Mean- t. Mean, tuh.

"Y'know." Mima scratches the back of my head. "Y'can't do half the fruity shit you can do now without me."

For the sake of the gods, please, shut up.

"But, whatever. I'll let'cha cool down."

...I shut my eyes.

Mima shuts up. Or rather, has shut up.

...It's just me, and the waves.

There is no one close to me. There's nothing to do anymore. It's just me, this dumb paddle of mine, my power, and the humans.

I'm alone.

It feels good… but also, very empty. Relieving, yet disgusting.

...I set the steel paddle aside. Then, I sit down. I ball up.

Planting my butt in the snow on the shore of the Misty Lake, I let the snow build up on me. Playing in the snow has no meaning anymore.

I have nothing.

A few hundred years, and nothing but myself to show for it. They lie when they say Gensokyo is more peaceful. No matter the year, era, season or time, someone can be taken from you. Instantly. Be it in or outside your vision.

Anyone could be me. That-... that is why I do what I do.

That yuki-onna I met today. She foresaw her own murder. She spoke as if she would, one day, be silenced.

Similar to Zarame. She foresaw her own murder. She spoke as if, one day, she'd be killed in some stupid exchange…

She was. She left me behind.

...Then again, as will I. When I grow too irksome, and some god or greater youkai exterminates me.

So. I'll sit here.

Maybe, unwisely, that human I hate will pass by. Maybe Genkan will come out to play again. Maybe.

I lay down on my side.

Genkan will come out to play again.

shoof. The snow moves at my command to cover me.

All this ice. All this nothing.

Genkan… me and Genkan will never share our friendship again.

Mima, despite all this time with me, will always be awful.

The water clashes, crashes and laps. Snow flakes down into the icy mix.

Maybe Genkan will come out to play. Yeah…

Let's wait for her. It's… all I have left to do.

"Hah…" I exhale loudly. My body shifts as I lay here, under the blanketing snow.

My head… is starting to hurt. But, it's fine. It'll go away.

I cover my eyes.

I'm a failure...

/ / / / MIMA'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

...S'it safe ta come out? Oh. Looks like she went and tuckered herself out. Man, I told her. Shoulda packed a tent or some shit. 'Specially if she was just gonna go… rovin' around.

Well, she's a yuki-onna, so it's not so bad. Kinda like sleeping in a grassy plain, for her.

Shuff, shoof. Oh, man, we got buried. And-... pft.

First thing's first! Let's scrape the tears from her eyes-... yep, there we go. Frozen tears're like snot, but less gross. Pretty sure they're alchemical, too. ...Unlike snot, usually.

Savin' her tears for later, I drift her up into the air, claim the paddle, a~nd…

Well, it's not so late, is it? Sun hasn't set yet. Doesn't mean it won't soon.

...Hehe- y'know what's fuckin' weird? I get her urges to stretch an' shit! "Mmn~... ah." I mean, not new or different, but it's always so surreal!

Maybe it's time ta hit the town. Shimmy-chan's all under the impression that town territory's dangerous business, but, like… even for a youkai, s'not that bad. We can pro'lly walk up lookin' like assholes and they'd still let us in outta respect.

That, and, she's kinda fallin' apart a little upstairs, but she's not doin' bad. She's got me to talk to; and even if I'm kind of a fuckin' asshole, it's a link a' sanity.

It's when you have no one to talk to that ya start to drift. Just, drift. You drift, and drift. An' when you're driftin', who knows where the fuck you'll end up.

That's how ya get serial killers. Really, I'm not shittin' ya. It's the concept of social checks and balances that give people their… I guess, 'humanity'. And you can get it in lotsa places.

Like? Well, books. Picture shows, like TV. Being in a crowd, even if it's real fake to talk to people like that. That-... weird ass video game shit Eientei's got runnin'. It's like a movie, it's like a book, so it counts. All that shit reminds you what bein' a living, thinking thing is like.

I mean the people without that. Any of that. The true cryptids. The kinds who can't read books or care about 'em in a way that matters, the kind with no attachment to their environment or family, the kind with nothing but their own heads.

Couldn't be you, right? Well, heh, funny that, just hope you don't get put in a rock for a few dozen years, huh? Or stranded. Or just plain unlucky, I guess.

Speakin' a' weird, as fun as this mental monologue practice is, I'm comin' up to the gate, so I have to stop bein' retarded for all of five seconds.

But, yeah. The mind's funny shit, man. But it's no joke.

fwish. I de-summon Shimokoa's edgy mask crap. That thing's like a chastity belt. Like, charisma minus twelve hundred.

...Considering I'm like, over a hundred, maybe I oughta stop using 'like' so often. Hmm. Well… eeh. I'm still a kid in spirit! Yeah!

"Hey~." Coming up to the gate, I blow the guard a kiss. "Hot stuff, what's up?"

He blinks a bunch. Ooh, got 'em~.

"I'm lookin' to…" I brush Shimokoa's hair aside. "Hit the town."

"...Alrighty." He smiled, an' gave me a nod. "What for?"

Ooh, you know. "Funny you ask. Lingerie shopping. You see, I just went up a few sizes…"

He snorts. I keep it goin', "oh- I know. It's so embarrassing."

"Well." Shrugging, smiling big-

Clank, clank, clank. He huffs, and reels up the gate. "Didn't know snow women had that problem."

"Fufu." I make Shimmy nod. "You would be surprised. You have my thanks… handsome."

Infiltration, successful. Now let's go find some booze. Maybe check up on a few loose ends.

The human village at dusk's like the human village at dawn. Tired. ...Man. What a sorry state to see this shit-shanty in.

"Haa~." I-... yawn? How the fuck's that even work? I'm dead! Shimokoa's-... well. The body technically ain't asleep anymore, but I'm keepin' her mind dormant. Chick just can't handle the village.

Well, alright, maybe I know why the yawn's happening better than my gut reaction implies, but… it'd be funnier if I didn't.

Let's come on up to~... where was it again? Oh, yeah.

I mean, this obviously ain't the first time I've seen this smelly pile of crap in the last couple days even, but every time I step into the village… I just gotta like, marvel.

Fuckin'... Takashihara's seen some shit, man. Right. That was the name. I forget what it was 'fore it got its formal name… a century or so ago, I guess? Yeah.

Takin' a right at the square, I beeline on down to Small Packages. Yeah, time to pay a visit to everyone's favorite pissed off psycho cat.

What is it with cat youkai and being assholes? ...Scratch that. What's it with cats and being assholes? Cat youkai are just if you took that assholery and put it into human form. Suddenly they're not so cute when they can shoot knives and swing guns, and dick each other.

I bet they're real damn loyal if you can make BFFs with one, though. Maybe even cute. Lotsa cat boys are pretty boy band-lookin' fuckers, after all. Those can be kinda cute. Sometimes.

...When they're not bein' retarded or malicious, I mean. 'Course, since they all got pretty faces, ninety percent of them have to be alcoholic wipe-outs.

An' trust me, y'don't wanna use alcohol wipes on your ass! Don't let it happen!

Stopping before Small Packages, I size it up. Shikome's kickin' around in there, I see. So's Mattbrina. Mattko. Matt-chan.

SaberMatthew.

Clack. I cast the tacky saloon doors open. "SaberMatthew." I make my exclamation known.

SaberMatthew turns from the counter, where he was countin' cards or somethin'. Whatever he does in his spare time. I bet he cheats at Poker.

"Ah? Ah?" I hold my arms out. "...Not even a pouty glare?"

"You'll have to try harder than that." Seems he's more befuddled than bumfuckled.

"Mmm. Damn." Ah, well. I really wanted it to work, too. "Whatever y'say, Mattbrina."

"Stop." Oh- of course, that works.

Aah. He's fixed himself his own potions.

He- she- fuckin', I don't know- glares at me. Looks like a she, it's a she now. Congratulations she's a girl- "Will you-... go away?" An' she's pissed!

"Nah." Yeah don't feel like it.

"I told you I didn't want to see you again." Oh? Oh, right, he said that. I forgot. Totally spaced it.

"Oh, yeah." I keep my reply vague. Social manipulation one-oh-one: feigning disinterest and airiness at the right moments can be pretty good.

Oh- I remember exactly now. It's basically a small way to show someone they're less than you. Something I kinda do by instinct now.

...More importantly, I just ignore that shit altogether. "So! Whaddaya say we get together fer that celebration? Doesn't hafta be tonight!"

"No." Yeah, figured as much.

Well, whatever, if I feel like forcin' it later I'll force it. "How's Shikome 'hungry enough to eat a horse'...-chan?" Why the fuck didn't she have a last name? Mmn, whatever. Rest in peace, nickname joke.

"Good." I mean hey, SaberMatthew at least gave me the time a' day. "...You're lucky we're in the village. We'd be able to kill each other otherwise."

"Heh." Eeh, I wouldn't go doin' that. But, yeah, Shikome there seems real vengeful, as things tend to be. Wouldn't be wise to make her mad, considerin' she's what I'm after.

But, you know… "Man. I went through all a' that effort to get ya magic, and you ain't even gonna gimme the time a' day?"

...SaberMatthew gives me a big frown. "You were using me."

"Okay, how?" Two~ can play this game.

"You left us behind once your business was complete." She- he, fuck- noted. Wait- yeah, I was going with 'she'. "Now you want me for something else." Not wrong.

At the same time… "I mean, I didn't know how many skills you'd need ta get Shikome out. Or if you needed any. Or, none."

"She would've escaped on her own. She still needed my help, to push a switch or two." Sabrina declared. "But if I did that on my own, I had a reasonable chance of doing it without anything you told me."

"...You've got a real complicated view on power stuff." Man. "I taught ya fireballs, I~... well, had a part in makin' you full cat."

"Which I'm not entirely happy with." Pfth- what? Make up yer damn mind.

"Sucks to be you." Not winnin' any favors, but fuck it.

She nodded. "Cool. Now go away."

Ma~n. She's gonna be a project.

...You know what? Maybe I don't have the energy for her shit right now.

"Well. Whatever. I'll tell ya 'bout that party more later when I got some details ironed out." Maybe a New Years sorta thing. Never was one for the bigger parties all the goodie-goodies throw…

clack. I head on out through the saloon doors.

"Ha~h." Welp. Step two: booze. Not to even drink through Shimmy here… even if I'll try. Booze is still fine when you're a ghost. Just as you can… technically ingest food, you can technically ingest drugs. Complex chemical reactions don't happen, but depressants work kinda. It's weird shit.

At least I'll never drink myself to death. 'Cause, y'know… I'm already dead! Wahaha!

The sun's setting, but 'cause it's still snowy, it doesn't matter so much. The world's a dim blue, the rich lights of the street lamps making everything feel… really cozy.

Wait. What the fuck…

A blue-white dressed yuki-onna comes up to us. "Shimokoa?"

Who the fuck are you? Are you this Genkan lady, that Shimokoa keeps bitching about? "Genkan…?"

"There you are." Genkan-question mark- greets us- er, me. Or, uh, Shimokoa, who she thinks is me. "I was looking for you."

"You were?" Shimokoa's been in my sight for the past month, that doesn't make any sense.

"Yes." Maybe-Genkan nods at us. "There's a festivity nearby. With our other sisters. I wanted to invite you."

Oh? Like, a Christmas party? "With-... beer?" Not sure what Shimmy would call it.

Maybe-Genkan nodded a bunch. "With lots of beer, yes. I'll lead you there." With that, maybe-Genkan starts to zip off, in that kinda cute way yuki-onna like to accelerate around.

...Well. Alright.

I follow maybe-Genkan down the alley next to the bar she went down.

We take a few turns until we're in the thick of the alleys. They're black in the evening.

But, maybe-Genkan leads us right to the edge of the village. Where the fuck're we going?

/ / / / AS ABOVE, SO BELOW / / / /

We're lead into a cave. Somewhere. It's not an ice cave, so I'm suspect. In fact…

This is a chunk of forest used by some beasties and tanuki. No ice women live here. Unless someone funny's hosting this party, this is a weird place.

"I can feel it." Maybe-Genkan twisted around, and smiled at me. "You've been lonely these past few days. It's written all over your face."

Yeah, it really is. "Is it?" But, I'll stay in character. Her resting face is depresso, these days.

"So, I thought… instead of that human, I should spend more time with you." She gave me a big smile. "Enjoy yourself tonight, Shimokoa."

Maybe-Genkan gestures deeper into the cave.

...Nodding, forcin' Shimmy's resting bitch face to smile, I float on inside.

Wow. What a party.

...There's a single orange-haired fuckboy napping against a wall. He's a tanuki, like I predicted.

Oh, woah. There's some torn kimonos hung up on a wall.

There's some lamps and stuff gathered around, keeping the place lit. But, it's a cave alright. There's a buncha books at some wood bookshelf in the back of the place.

I like how their futons are just randomly laid around the damn place. There's an L-couch and some tables to the right. Mmm, pretty snazzy for a cave.

"Nice place." I note.

I turn around. Maybe-Genkan walks on in, behind me.

shoof. Behind her, a rock slides in front of the exit.

"Do you not remember it?" She smiles.

Hmm. "This your-..." I almost talked like myself, shit. "Is this your ex-boyfriend's place?"

...She furrowed her brows. "Huh? Hehe… no, bitch."

poof. Oh. Wow, what a surprise. It was a tanuki.

"Can't believe you fell for the same trick." From the smoke, this brown-haired pretty-boy waltzes out. "Snow women carry themselves tall, for a bunch of airhead bitches."

Prince Charmin' over here's just in a pair of brown-green shorts, some typical-ass tanuki attire. Aw, hell, he's even got a chub goin' on! Ooh, I see what's going on here…

Do I play along fer a li'l, or do I ham it up? Hmm. "What…?" Well, that's always a good start. Wait- no, I need feeling behind it. "What…!?"

"He- hehehe!" He gives me a shit-eating grin. "What's good!?"

Do these two know each other? "Hmm, nothing much."

...He blinks at me. Oh- right, shit, I forgot to keep being surprised.

"...Funny." He shook his head. "I figured you'd be more pissed. Maybe yell at me. Or, like, I dunno. Throw stuff."

Hmm? "Why?"

He snorted. "...You really are a dumb bitch." Aww~. "Does the name Zarame even ring a bell?"

Oh, shit. This is the test of whether or not I've been paying attention to anything Shimokoa's been saying. Uuh.

Zarame? Who the fuck-... what name starts with a Z?

Fuck, right. It was one of the people Shimokoa was sad over losin'. She opened up to me 'bout it awhile ago. That was when I got her under my thumb.

"Wasn't that a friend of mine?" I take a guess.

"Pft-..." This dude's just havin' a great old time. "Gods. Well, yes, she was. You and her were, I don't know. Lovers? You were in lesbians with each other."

I~ don't think that's how that sentence works, but whatever! "In lesbians, huh. Yeah, I remember that." No I don't!

He propped his arms onto his hips. "...Okay. And-... do you remember what I did to her?"

...Oh! Wait, the pieces are fittin' together! Shimokoa only said the word tanuki like once, but she had a lotta restraint with it.

I point at her. "You killed her, didn't you?"

Clap! He claps his hands once, but doesn't really laugh. "...Took you that long to remember that? Honestly, that pisses me off."

Pftuh. "Why…?"

"I was lookin' forward to your reaction." He sighed. "So much for that. ...Well. Whaddaya think's gonna happen now?"

Oh, I know. "You're gonna let me go?"

He shook his head. "Haha-... no. We're gonna have sex."

Oh. "I see."

...His jaw just kinda hung. "Okay- did you hit your head or somethin'? I thought you'd be like, screaming. Crying. Something."

"Why?" She's got super amnesia, man. You just gonna bone an amnesiac like that? Too cruel!

"You were just crying yourself to sleep out by the lake." Huh, the fuck? This dude was creepin'! Shit, man! "About Genkan, of all people. A hundred years ago, y'wouldn't've even talked to that bitch."

Considering what I know, Genkan is sixty, so she wasn't even born then. Quick maths! "Why didn't you just jump my bones by the lake?"

He scoffed. "Jump your bones, wha- well, fuck, you think I'm dumb?" I mean, yes. "Anyone could stop us. And I'd get self-conscious." Pft- hahaha!

"Aa- about what?" Certainly not his dick size. He's a tanuki and all.

He held his arms out. "And what're you? An exhibitionist!?"

...Mmh, not really. Took me a moment to think about it. "A little, maybe."

"Whatever." He came up to me.

FWOOM! Oh, he's a fire mage. Things're clickin', man. "Take your clothes off. Now."

Man. I hold up a hand. "We'll get to that. But first, I'd like to get to the bottom of my chronic amnesia disorder I have been diagnosed with."

"I don't fucking care." He seethes! "Get on your fucking knees."

"Now- now." I wave at 'em! "There's no need to be reductive. In fact, I wonder if you own one of the books I've written. See-"

FWOOM! Oh, he just shot a jet of fire at me.

whish. I wave it away. "Yo, yo, yo."

FWOOM! Attempt two at the fire!

whish. Same as the first. "Man, what if you did burn my face off? So much for the blowjob."

...He folds his arms. "Okay… you-..." Wait, oh shit, I think he grew a brain. "You're not Shimokoa?"

Woohoo! Well…

woash. I step out of Shimokoa's body, and set her to drift in the air behind me.

"Afraid not." I give 'em a big smile. "There ain't enough room for two people destroyin' her sense of bodily security."

"Oh- fuck!" He leapt back! "...Aa- are you a ghost!?"

What the fuck does it look like. "Yes, I'm a ghost."

...After a moment, he lets out a breath. Yes- just 'cause I'm a ghost doesn't mean I'll attack you. Well, not yet.

He lets out a breath again. Is- is he hyperventilating? He finds his confidence in a few moments. Maybe from the boner he had earlier. "You-..."

He pats at his shorts. "What'll it take? For you to give Shimokoa to me?"

Straight to bartering? Damn. "Huh?" Let's play dumb for a sec.

"How much for you to leave her with me?" He just says the same thing, bu~t… "I want her to wake up here."

"Heh?" I think I see… "Do I get her back after?"

"Nah." He shook his head. "I'm gonna kill her."

Wait. "Tell me, like, the whole plan. What's the big idea ya got goin' here?"

...He huffed, and put his arms on his hips. "I mean, well… I want to see her reaction. Then I'll fuck her to death." Ah, as some tanuki do to non-tanuki. "She's caught my eye."

Y'know. "Why can't ya just buy a girl some damn flowers and take her out on a date? You kids and this 'fuck each other to death' shit, man." I'm talking out of my ass, but it'll make me look relatable.

He chuckled. "That's-... missing the point."

Actually. "How'd the shit with Zarame go, actually? Like, gimme the play-by-play."

...He seemed suspect at my interest. So, I'll just lie a little… again. "See, it's so funny, 'cause it's really similar to how I died!" ...Ho- holy fuck, what a joke.

He jerked his head back a little. "Re- really?"

"Yeah!" I nod! "Summoned myself a big cow man, and you know, one thing lead to another. He took out the hypnosis spell on his tome and addicted me to cock, and then he rammed me 'till my head popped off."

"Aa- a cow?" He looked disgusted. Ooh- fuck off, you're the one with a snuff fetish, dumbass. Don't go bein' judgy now. "Really?"

"Hey, no judging." I wag my finger at him. "I was just interested, is all."

...I- I like how little he thought about the actual story. Some tanuki are well-read, but others are just alcoholic raccoons. That, y'know, can shapeshift and turn into statues.

"Well." He decided to tell me! "She came by. I told her I wanted to fuck. She was a cute piece of ass, and a funny girl too. But, she kept tryin' to get away. So she proposed we fought, winner take all.

"I wasn't actually plannin' on killing her." He held his arms up. "But we got so excited. I just barely won. So… yeah. Threw her down, and fucked her numb. While she was passed out, I kept goin'. Eventually, you know, blood came out. She didn't wake up."

Yeah- see, problem is, tanuki are like, too big. Vast majority of youkai subscribe to the typical human width- if they have human dicks and vagoos- for a reason. Of course, if it varies, the puss fer the species varies too.

Tanuki are just on the extreme end of things. We're talkin' monster cocks. Their dudes are fat and hung. Snow women obviously don't have the pockets, they got human-like ones.

"And I thought it wasn't a bad way to go." He smiled. The idea obviously gets 'em off. "She lost, so I got what I wanted. Just so happened to kill her. It was no big deal."

What a brain on this man. "I see… s'there any reason y'picked ice ladies?"

He took a pause. "...Hmh. Well, all the ladies were busy, and I saw her. We had our agreement, and she upheld her part. Shimokoa… she was just a huge bitch afterward. Kept going around, saying things about me. But the thing about snow women, they're elusive. Even with my fire magic, I can't just jump her. She's older than Zarame."

He gestured to the cave. "So, I thought she'd be weak enough to let herself be lead here. I-... I like, wanted to see her face. How she'd react, and shit. I wanted her to scream. Cry, maybe."

What an honest lad. Super evil, but honest! "You get off on that sorta thing?"

"I think so." He nodded. "Especially when they're-... I don't know. Huge bitches normally turn me off, but there's something about overtaking them. That's what I'm about. And it happens to kill them. They don't mind during the sex. 'Cause I'm careful about that."

Yeah, like it matters. "How'd Zarame take it?"

"She cried like a bitch." He beamed. Ooh, look at that smile. "She was so fucked. She lost so hard. If only she could take dick. Really wish there were any tanuki like her. All the tanuki chicks act like hoes… or aunts."

Well! Thank you for taking my survey! I have determined that you are super trash. However…

"Cool!" I beam at him. "How about we have a similar deal?"

"Huh?" He blinked.

"We'll play the game by your rules." I nod. "We fight. If I win, I can do anything to ya, even kill ya. If you win, I dunno, I'll turn corporeal and let you fuck me to death." Death: the second. Super die. Mega murder.

His shorts twitched.

"You're on." Oh my god, he's into it.

/ / / / LMAO BOTTOM TEXT / / / /

Yeah, that went about as well as I expected.

Walkin' around in his muscular body, I get used to how it feels. Yeah- I just up an' possessed the shit outta him. Congratulations, yer free trial of life has expired.

Am I really gonna kill him though? Eeh. Not immediately. He could be useful. I need a good way to prod Shimokoa around, after all. Maybe seein' this dickhead'll be the kick in the cunt she needs to really snap.

I thought possessing people with dicks felt weird earlier. Possessing a tanuki feels extra super weird. God. Doesn't help that his body's actually kinda hot. If only he had IQ in the double-digits.

"Mmn…" Oh. I thought Shimokoa might be wakin' up, but it's just his bro. Wonder if he's any better.

"Eey." I give him a look. "S'up, bro?"

...He looks up at me. Reaching down, he chugs from this bottle he had around immediately. Aah, he's an alcoholic.

"Aah…" I assume he used it to buffer his hangover. Which isn't how it works, but he might think that's how it works, and y'know what, good for him. "Hey, Ton."

Ton. What…?

"Is my name Ton?" I'm- eaeh…?

...He gave me a flat look. "I know yer a dumbass- but y'can't be that fuckin' stupid. Yes, yer name's Ton you fuckhead. Didja pick up the booze I toldja? Aah…" Pannin' his gaze down, he saw Shimokoa floatin' in place. "Aaw, fuck off."

I snort. "What?"

"Y'forgot the booze and y'brought another bitch home…" He shook his head. "I'd-... I'd evict ya if I actually gave a shit. Look, y'get me some champagne, I don't evict ya. That, or find me a nice aah… fuck."

"Suck my dick." I just insult 'em on impulse.

"Ugh, fine, later." Eeeh- uuh- excuse me? "Maybe if I'm drunk enough. Speakin' of, champagne. Chop chop."

What the fuck.

Well, ignoring whatever the fuck that was, I keep waltzin' around. ...No, I will not listen to my inner teen girl that wants to actually see that happen. No matter how badly she whines.

I just realized. Those kimonos on the wall… there's three of them.

Those are yuki-onna kimonos. He's fucked three to death. I see.

...Oh. So that's what those bumps are for in the floor.

He buried them here. In the cave. Holy shit. That's weirdly metal.

"Pftu- hehe…" I have to giggle a little at the sheer disrespect and audacity. Dude, what the fuck. This guy's like a modern-day caveman. Holy shit.

Does he have any porn books? Let's see.

...Surprisingly, no. They're not sorted by genre or anything, really. Anything at all, I mean. Just, random books. Probably not his.

Oh, wait. A few books on firebending and fire magic.

Yoink. Thanks. Y'can have 'em back when I'm dead. Wait…

Ah, whatever, not like he'll even notice.

"Stop chucklin' it up in the corner over there and fetch me me- my booze." Drunk-uki over there slurs at me. "Hic-... nnh. Yeah-... do that."

I point at him. "What is-..." I raise a brow really high! "Your name?"

"Oh my god, Ton." Your name better not actually be- "Ton, you're such a fuckin' dumbass. Seriously."

"If your name's Ton, I will hurt you." There can only be one Ton.

...He glared me down. "I'm Munenori, you stupid fucking-..." He began chuckling. "He- hehe! You stupid! Stupid… stupid asshole! Fuhuhuck you!"

...When I don't react, he huffs. "Hit ya head, didn't you? Well, good." He looked over at Shimokoa. "Those fuckin' bodies you buried- they're stinkin' up the place. Don't need a fourth, if I'm honest."

Man, wandering the forests a' Gensokyo's a real fucking trip sometimes. I forgot how much fun it was to just get into weird moments like these. Wonder if Marisa's ever had as much fun as I'm having right now.

"Well-..." I hold out my arms. "Whaddaya suppose I do?" Ooh, that was a very 'him' thing to say.

"I don't know, rub one off on her, have her lick it, just- don't fucking kill her." He shook his head. "God- dead bodies stink. I know you can't tell, but fucking serously."

He can't tell? What the fuck. He's a tanuki. His nose should be like, ten times better than a human's. What.

"Oh- don't even start. Yes, I know y'think smell's a myth." What! "Just shut the fuck up. I get it, yeah- hic- ngh… just- bodies make me a pussy, yeah. Dump that shit in the forest next time. No buts there."

I can't even. I literally can't even.

"Fuck it…" Oh. Munenori lies on his side. "Ba' t' sleep. Ngh…"

...Powerful.

Well. Wonder when Shimmy'll wake up. Honestly, I also want to see her piss and shit herself and go nuts, but I'd also like her to remain alive.

And, uh, rape is a hard no. Not sure what it'd do to her, and I'm not that much of an asshole. There're some lines even evil doesn't cross. At least, my brand a' evil doesn't cross.

Picking up Shimokoa, I take her on over to the L-shaped couch.

Creak. I drop her on it hard.

...Taking off one of the cushions, I freaking-... unh. Smash her with it.

Creak! Pft- hehe! Yeah, take that.

Shimokoa starts wiggling. "Mm- nn…"

Creak! I smack her with it again. Quickly, I replace it, and slip-slide away.

"What-...?" Befuddled, she slowly wakes up.

She starts to scoot up, and sit up.

Me, possessing Ton, fucker of snow, stands across from the table before the couch.

"Where-..." She sees the kimonos on the wall first. She pans her gaze left.

I make Ton lick his lips. "Morning, buttercup."

...Slowly, she starts blinking.

"Mi- Mima…?" She looks around fer me. "Mima-..." Then, she swallows. "You-..."

I adjust one a' my tanuki ears. "'Member me?" I make 'em smile too.

She sits up properly. "Mima?" She's looking around a lot more now. "Mima- where are you? I need you. Mima-..."

Thunk. I kick the table a bit fer no reason. "Dunno who you're lookin' for, but they aren't here."

"You-..." There's the fear.

Shimokoa's brows raise, and she looks cornered. "You're-..."

Slowly, I move around the edge of the table.

"Mima!" Shimokoa scrambles back, and starts trying to climb onto the back of the couch. "Mima! Mima~!"

Coming up, I grab one of her ankles.

Whap- whap- whap! She starts kicking me as hard as she can with her other leg. She kicks pretty hard now, mind you!

"Aaaaa~!" She screams too! "Let go- let me go- let go!"

I let go more out of surprise than anything! "Wha-"

She zips over to the rock out of the cave. She tries to move it, but it's too much for her. "Nn- nngh-... nnn~!"

KRING- KRING! KRING! She tries to summon those ice sword things under it, but-... man. Those door rocks they use are pretty well-enchanted. Doesn't budge an inch.

"Mima~!" She bangs her arms on the rock and yells. "Help me~! Mima!"

Coming around the table, I walk up to her.

"Eeeee~!" Wh- what the fuck kind of scream was that.

She snaps into the air and braces her arms, as if I was gonna shoot magic at her.

When I don't, she stops cowering in the air, and glares down at me. "You-..."

Fwi- fwish, fwish! She shoots random ice magic at me, but I keep it from even touching me, dispelling it as it comes close.

"I won't let you kill me!" She yells.

Fwish, fwish! Fwish! After she shoots more ineffectual magic, she huffs. "You kidnapped me… you took me here. I won't be another-..."

Fwish, fwish, fwish! She's panicking really hard.

When I step closer, she turns around and starts clawing a wall. Holy shit.

"Aaaaaa~!" She has lungs on her, damn. "No! Nooo! Mima! Mima~! I'm sorry! Mima!"

...I just kinda stand here.

"Don't-" Shimokoa floats up into the corner of the room. "Let me go! Please!"

Her heart's beating so damn hard. "...Pl- please don't rape me."

While she intently stares at me, shaking, starting to cry, I ju~st…

woash. I poke my head outta his body. "Boo."

She jerks her head back, taking pause.

...And then she's overcome with rage! "Yh-... YOU~!" Woah!

She rams into Ton's body- and starts choking it! "You did this! Fuck you!" Woohoo!

I poke my head outta Ton. "Aa-... actually! I didn't!"

She keeps chokin' him, shakin' him around! "Then explain! Explain!" She lets go of him, and tries to choke my ghost head, but y'know, doesn't go over really well.

She circles around to my back in a really silly attempt at bein' intimidating. "Explain. Now. Before I kill you."

woash. I poke my head outta the back a' Ton's head. "See, while I was takin' a walk, possessin' you, tall and handsome over here disguised himself as uh… Genk 'en."

"Genkan." Shimokoa corrected me.

"Yeah- whatever. Anyway, he wanted to see you piss yourself, and then he wanted to fuck you to death, quite literally. So I talked with him. Swell dude and all. He's a few coins short of a slot though, see."

"How did we get here?" Shimokoa wanted to know.

"I walked into his trap!" 'Cause y'know, I have enough raw power that it doesn't really matter.

"...Well." Shimokoa frowned hard. "He-... I- I-..." Her adrenaline causes her to shiver. "Nnh…"

"So, yeah."

Takin' full control again, I pivot around and smile at 'er. "...This was some shit!"

Shimokoa just- collapses onto her ass in front a' me. Pft- oh…?

"Gods-..." She shivers, and huffs. "I-... I thought I'd failed. Already..."

"Lemme tell ya, this guy is like… stupid!" Seriously! "Like-...! Like- he thought smell was a fuckin' myth, dude. I'm hopin' that was fuckin' made up, 'cause if it wasn't, goddamn."

Shimokoa glares up at me. "...To- to think my mind- could have been lost, at the hands of someone so awful. To think-"

She looked over at Zarame's kimono on the wall. The green one, if I 'member right.

"Gods…" She holds her hands to her mouth. "Zarame…"

Floating onto her legs, Shimokoa comes up to it.

"Oh, right." Kinda wanna see this. "They're all buried here." All three of 'em. Zarame and two hoohas.

"They-..." Shimokoa drifted back, and saw the dirt lumps on the floor. "Oh my gods- no…"

She fell onto her knees over the lump below Zarame's kimono. "Za-... Zarame…"

She hugged the dirt.

...Yeah. She just hugs the dirt.

For an uncomfortably long time.

Still huggin' it.

Yeah.

I poke her with my foot.

She looks up at me. Oh. She's just, crying.

She goes back to hugging it, her face just over the dirt behind it.

...This goes on for like, a couple minutes more.

"Nnh-..." Until, Shimokoa just can't take it. "Za-... Z- Zarame…"

Sobbing, waterworks flowing, Shimokoa springs back up. "Hnn-... ha- haah…" She sobs really loudly. "I-... I'll- hh- always love you…!"

She holds onto her own head. "Za- Zarame… I- I love you! I-...!"

She sees me- but not me. She sees Ton.

"AAAAAAA!"

She fuckin' loses it.

I step backwards- as she fuckin' goes wild.

WOOSH! She slings her giant, big-ass paddle at me, and it comes short.

"Hrr- aaaa~!" She slings it way overhead-

BAM- KRACK! She slams it into the floor where I was. It recoils, and the floor cracks a little.

"Fuck-" Eyes shut from her tears, she grinds her teeth hard enough for ice to chip off from the friction. "Fhh- NGH!"

WOOSH! She spins around, flailing with abandon. Just- having a great old time.

"Nn- nngh!" Shimokoa grunts incoherently. "Ghn- ngh! Nnngh!" That paddle ain't light. Without my power, she has a lot of trouble hefting that shit around.

But, she's putting way more force into it than normal, I can tell. As she should.

"YOU!" She roars at me almost! "Rrgh!"

Running at me, her eyes flare with green light.

KREAK! She whips around, and the floor fuckin' cracks under her sandal.

WOO~SH! Wow. I duck under the mighty horizontal cleave!

BAM- KABOOM! Ice and rock explode from the wall beside me. Shit- that was all her!

"Rhh- aaagh!" She leaps, and tosses the paddle down.

KRACK- KABOOM! Where I was, a geyser of rock, ice and snow explodes from the floor.

"Dude-...!" Oh. That other drunk tanuki, what's-his-face woke up. "What the hell!?"

Shimokoa sees him. She reclaims her paddle in a second, and is before him in the next.

KRI- EAK! Something- I guess her sandal on the floor, or perhaps the way her paddle cuts the air, makes this indescribable whine. It sounds unbelievably forced. What power…

"Wha- gh- aa!" The tanuki throws up his arms-

"DIE!"

BAM- KRKCRUNCH- KASPLAT! Oo- oh… holy fuck.

SPLA- SPLAT! His head came clean the fuck off- before splitting into three mid-air. The chunks hit the wall behind me, and bounced back with so much fuckin' force that they became skull-confetti across the room.

Thud. Mouth open, I fall back onto my ass! "Wa- hahaha…!" Holy fuck!

Shimokoa staggers back from the now-headless tanuki. "Rrrgh-... hh-... hh…"

Teeth braced, she twists to me.

She's probably thinking a million things. Like, Ton here's the one that destroyed her loving life with her partner. This stupid idiot destroyed their intellectual relationship. This idiot's killing what she sees to be bastions of art, intellect, peace and… people, I guess.

His very existence is an antithesis to her love, her life, and to what she really wants.

She wants to be understood. She wants to be left alone. An idiot like this, who can't understand or, eheh, even be understood himself, who lives almost specifically to trample on all of that, and has seen success in doing so?

Well, it's an understandable source of fear for one thing. Especially when you know it can bite you the fuckin' hardest.

Someone like Ton is quite synonymous with bein' a pure monster. A pure-ass, pure-as-youkai-can-be, youkai. Well, maybe with a bit more man than monster, but only a bit.

WOOSH- WOOSH, WOOSH! Shimokoa arcs her paddle through the air, waving it around, trying to clip me at all. But, she's running out of steam.

Let's keep her focused. I make Ton speak. "I loved seeing Zarame cry." Not a direct quote, but good enough.

Shimokoa took the voice and the phrase like an impact, even if it wasn't the most believable act.

"HRRGH-" Pft- don't hurt yerself kid. Ooh-

WOOSHWOOSHWOOSH! She scrapes it up along the floor, as she likes to do- but this time she unleashes it, and it flips through the air, travelling along the floor.

I sidestep it-

BAM- KRACK! The door-rock that I praised for its durability earlier splits into three chunks from the impact. Eheheh…

I think the most ironic thing here… is that she's feeling a pain so many humans have felt before. Yet, she shelves most of the blame for tragedies like these onto the ignorance of humans. Heheheh…

It might be tacky- but it seriously makes me chuckle a little!

Seeing a loved one die to a monster like this is almost similar to seein' them die from a natural event. They drown, choke in their sleep, or just simply pass away, and you are left empty.

All that time, gone. The love, now only in your head. Potential: vanished in a second. No more. Failure.

When it happens because of someone else's ignorance? And the tragedy takes on a human cause? Or, I guess, in this context, a personable clause?

Welcome to the concept of revenge, and vengeance, and spite. True spite. Enjoy your stay.

That said… yeah. I thought this guy'd be good for a prank or two later… but I don't see any way he's gonna survive this shit.

I slip from his body. Yeah, good luck!

Woosh! Shooting across the room, I dart into Shimokoa's form. It's easy, because she's weak.

Strong in body, strong in this volcanic resolve… but really really weak in spirit. Tender, raw.

When I'm firmly inside her again, she feels it too.

"Hrrgh-" Teeth braced, the icicle maw creeps across her features, and the mask I provide overtakes her. "HAAAA!"

Ton blinks. "...Hah- ah-" Free from my grasp, he stumbles in place.

But, Shimmy ain't even gonna give him the time a' day.

FWASH- FWASH- FWASH! She freezes the paddle three times over. It doesn't become bigger, but the mass does increase.

Rage is pretty~ neat.

She whips it around, and it comes right down into him.

KABAM! He's slammed into the wall. He summons his fire-

BAM- KRACK! She just rams the hilt into him like it's her fist, and stumbles back off the recoil. "Grgh- nn-"

BAM- CRUNCH! She reels it back like an axe, and puts it into him so hard it embeds into his ribs.

SKRIK! She slides it out, and it takes a few bones with it.

BAM- KRAK- SPLA- SPLAT! She thrusts the whole damn thing up- and it works under the ribcage, digging it up with his spine. The tip fucks his jaw, poking his head unnaturally far back. Blood shoots onto the ceiling.

Whipping the sword around-

BAM- KRACK! Shimokoa hammers his head back into his body, before reeling the blade back again.

"HRRGH-" Oo- oh… oh, holy shit-

FWASH! Power coalesces in the frozen claymore.

"YOU WILL FUCKING-

"DIE!"

Shimokoa leaps. "ALL SHALL BE LOST TO YOU!"

She swings the claymore down, and it clips the ceiling. The claymore wins.

KRACK- KABOOOOM!

The explosion's so damn monumental, the cave collapses in on itself.

/ / / / TRANQUIL FURY / / / /

...krack- clack. Pushing up on the paddle, Shimokoa emerges from the ruined rubble that was the cave. "Hfuh-... nnh…"

The snowfall's picked up now. Under the light of the full moon, face speckled with blood beneath her shadecast mask, she shivers with fear and adrenaline as she leaves the cave.

...Hefting the claymore aside, she bares her teeth.

"Haaaa~!" She yells. "HAAAAA!"

That single swing was more power than every single other attack she used. Despite clipping the ceiling, it just-... went through.

Oh, but it was more than that, too. Even though the flat met the guy, there was nothing left of him. Just, erased. Gibbed into red, bone sand and some other funny colors.

The cut reached down into the earth itself. Meters down. The force that spread out was just too much for the crappily-fashioned cave.

I'm sure every- fuckin'- youkai in the entire goddamn Forest of Magic felt that shit. Bet Marisa got fuckin' jostled outta her bed by that shit!

"He- nnh…" Shimokoa shambles forward, dragging her paddle through the snow. "Ngh…"

She's learning to use power. Maybe through pure emotion, but she's learning. Yes…

Mmm. Oh, man. These are gonna be a fun next few days.

Even in vengeance, she is not sated. She's still lost, after all. The world is still wrong.

And, as long as the world is wrong, and she's got nothing better to do, she's gonna be righting it. One skull beheading at a time.

/ / / / MATT'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

...Shikome is laid on the bed like a plank.

It's time for bed. It feels good using a fucking bed again.

"Alright…" Well. I take a sip of my glass of water. It's time to unwind, I guess.

How am I supposed to get in? Climbing over Shikome seems like a bad idea.

thoom. What the fuck was that.

thud. The bar's jostled hard enough in its entirety that Shikome slides out of the bed and onto her side, still in plank posture.

She blinks up at me plainly, blinking a few more times now that she has been awkwardly displaced.

"...That's not going to work." Let's put her back on the bed.

/ / / / MARIBEL'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

...Mmm.

Back in my room. It's been a long day.

I should get into my pajamas and just- wipe out. God forbid if anyone saw me in my pajamas outside of here.

...Like Kugo. Eugh. I'd never hear the end of it. Someone would actually have to put him down.

Well… mmh.

I do miss home. This apartment room… it's liberating. But, it's very lonely.

It makes me feel like I'll never go back. Which… if everything goes as planned, I won't.

It makes me feel lonely. I already said that, didn't I?

...I sit down at my computer screen. Some games'll take my mind off of the encroaching, life-altering decision, and my anxiety…

thoom. Oh. What?

clack. My monitor falls forward onto the desk.

"Wha- what the fuck…"

Oh, god. Oh no. People are going to come ask me about what that was. Why's Gensokyo even get tremors…!?

I- I need to get outta my PJs! Damn it! No…

/ / / / FREAKIN HAKUGYOKUROU / / / /

END OF CHAPTER 112.5

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

this chapter went a lot of different places

while it somewhat obeyed the 'let's check up on the enemy team' format, we got to see mima do things for a change, to shake things up a little from the variable monotony of watching the blood slowly work to a boil

and even i didn't really know how mima'd go to catalyze shimokoa! she kinda just bumbled into a really good way of doing it!

also yukari and merry having the big thonk was something i found interesting, mileage may vary but honh

it was probably fairly obvious how the entire chapter went on to build up this sort of reverence for being a monster, but then i even surprised myself a little with the climax of the chapter

the full-on monster; the unintelligent, impulsive being that acts on desire alone with ignorance to anything else

while monstrous traits are desired for their confidence and ability to take profitable risks, and are tangential to strength of wisdom, it definitely pays to be aware that being that deeply a monster is awful in a totally different way

there's being too weak, and then there's being too callous- too weak in a different way, too emotionally or empathically or overall unintelligent, and while a strength is found in that lack of intellect, the very nature of being so self-limiting is… not good, or at least not always good

although, this was a very clear-cut example, because TON was, outside of his variable atrocities, a huge meme

hoh… atrocity. never thought i'd get to use that word like this!

but, yeah, the commentary between powerful ignorance and drawn-out intellect is a very important dichotomy in FG, isn't it? i feel like brad himself screws with this line a lot

one of the more profound things i've heard recently, from someone in a clinical psychologist role with no actual relation to any of the media i consume, said that "tragedy brings out the dragons", and i immediately felt that

emotions are a powerful narrative force when weighed by proper stakes and proper logic. so much media does not accurately weigh this or account for this! not just tragedy, so many other things, but for some reason it's just so rare to see it done potently

and what could be more potent than harsh realities? if it doesn't hit close to home, or in the ballpark, well, what good is it?

i guess an argument could be made against such bold and uncomfortable narratives, but leaving that comfort zone is adventure, and i'd never shy away from a good adventure

i think one of my favorites things about these emotional scenes is going back in post and self-editing and adding more to them; more thoughts, more emotions

going back when i'm alone, crying with the character, trying to channel those emotions and trying to show it to the reader- and not just that, but making it hit hard

even those who don't take time to appreciate the narrative theme and narrative logic can appreciate emotional impact if they have the empathy- and some things hit so hard i think there're very few people who can't connect with that

that, and i think i said it before, but there's something cathartic about revelling in and exploring those emotions

...hoh, i think i've yammered enough - w -

this was a really fun chapter, and i liked showing how everyone is committing to their decisions

as always, see you all next time!