(in which big leaf not big carrot small leaf carrot big but leaf small big carrot leaf small make peace shrine maiden ;) )
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Mmm…
It's the day after, um, Canadian Boxing Day, according to Brad. We spent a nice day together yesterday. Relaxing, and just… being around each other. For once, Brad kept to one place for an entire day.
It was very jarring. He was so relaxed, and so… at peace with just, being around me. That computer kept him occupied whenever we ran out of stuff to talk about. He showed it to me too. He says he wants me to learn about technology so I can use it with him.
I'm open to learning. We just need another computer to expedite the process, he says. But, he also says, that will likely come later. Computers are strange.
"So…" Right now, me and Maria are walking through the village, to her home. She's telling me about her new situation.
She's also really chipper. "We got our house situation sorted out! And, uhm… yeah."
We're going to be getting- and making- food. Brad needs to be fed, after all… and he's not really good at feeding himself. As someone with a prospectively more massive lifespan than him, I feel… responsible, in a way.
But… I don't want him to only have a pet's lifespan. I love him. If age claims him, I will be crushed.
We haven't thought about these logistics. But… whatever happens, I want it to be Brad's decision. I want Brad to be happy. We'll see what the future holds.
"That's great." I smile at Maria, after replying on a delay.
...Maria gives me a knowing smile. "Was yesterday that fun?"
Hey, now. "Don't bully me, Maria. It was… very fun, yes, but I'm also thinking about the future."
"I see~..." Maria has smug teenager energy, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I'm sure she'll look back and cringe, and I will laugh. "...Thinking about kids already?"
Nevermind. I was about to think my internal monologue was too mean, but I take back the intent. "I will freeze your ovens."
"Hehehe~. Aw, don't be ashamed." Maria gives me a big smile. "...You know. Actually- the heck's Brad doing today? You'd think he could use a few cooking lessons."
...Good question. "He told me not to worry. He said he was… on a cultural voyage to vilify our oppressors. And to prove the justice of the… 'cuddle-onna culture'."
Maria has a small expression. "...And you didn't go with him?"
"The snow is rolling in later today, so I figure he'll be safe." ...I say, as if he's a yuki-onna like me.
...Hmm.
"Maybe I should've went with him…" I stare at the grey-blue sky, as the snow clouds gently roll in.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
WOOSH. The wind howls. "Grief in the sno~w!"
fwoof. Fluffles pop out of the snowy hillside. "a winter of woe"
Me and the fluffles have been singing songs, dude.
I cobble up the Hakurei hillside, as the snow yells at us. An early night overlays the sky, grey-blue aether framing the world in thunder and whipping flurries...
"Lo~ng I've suffered the hunger! Lo~ng I've silenced the cry~! Lo~ng I've fled from the thunder…"
The grey sky lights up white as I slip and tumble my way onto the top of the Hakurei stairs.
Holding my arms out in a vastly unsafe motion, I flail 'em out and let the whipping wind carry me across the ice to the Hakurei Shrine!
The fluffles sing with me! "To asce~nd!" Yeah! I stole these lyrics from a Miracle of Sound song. Don't ask why the fluffles know them…!
...shoof. Reimu opens the front door, as I happen on up to her!
"Reimu!" I call out to her! "The winter of woe is here! The winter a' weeaboos!"
Reimu folds her arms! "What are you doing here?"
I give her a bow! The- gesture, not a hairbow, nor a weapon! "I need you to forge your signature, 'cause I couldn't do it myself!"
Reimu blinks a few times. An' then a few times more! "...Why?"
I've got… an idea. I'm gonna travel all around Gensokyo today, and touch base with Genkan in the evening.
"I a~m… writing a letter! For a writing contest!" No I'm not…! Actually, I found your dead mom, and I want to borrow her sword to turn it into a harpoon! And if that fails I'll think a' something else, but it'd be super hype if it did work!
Y'see, the other day, I was thinking… if Matt's pissed off at me, or if he just kinda lets his Shikome pal get mad at us… or if we somehow piss off Yuuka or something, I was thinkin' I'd kind of like a contingency plan for at least subduing them so the encounter can be over!
These beings might be unholy super gods of carnage and the concepts of nature, life and death… but I am a human, who can prepare stupid bullshit, make stupid shit move, and can stack things really really high!
"You're lying to me." Oh.
I nod at Reimu's objection. "Yes, I'm lying to you."
"Okay, so why do you really want it? And why should I give it to you?" Reimu gives me a very vague look! "What'd- uh, what would my signature even do? Like… really?"
Hmm~... "I found the ancient weapon of one of your even more dead ancestors, and I wanna borrow it to make a harpoon cannon out of it, but she really hates who I am, and I also don't actually want the sword so I'd like to give it back after I'm done using it as an emergency projectile!" Deep breath…!
...Reimu's brows just kinda raise in something resembling incredulity and mortification! "Ge- get inside." Wahaha!
An' so we meander on inside! Or- I stumble in, brushin' snow off, as Reimu shuffles up to the kotatsu, shivering slightly.
"Alright…" Sitting at the left, she gestures for me to sit to the side adjacent ta her! "You're scared of something. I can probably take care of it. Talk."
Ooh, shit. "Well…!" Y'know, I don't necessarily want to sicc her on Matt either… even if he's been a big kabungler. She also can't guard me twenty-four-seven! "It's complicated! But I kinda want it as a~... one time use sorta thing."
"Or to murder someone." Reimu instantly assumes the worst! "If-... if a harpoon gun even works well enough for that. I mean it probably does, but still, I don't trust you with a harpoon gun." Help.
I hold my arms out! "I mean-...! I'm mostly scared now 'cause me and Genkan-... that yuki-onna, we like, are in love, and if I get arbitrarily murdered by a few super powerful angry youkai, she's gonna be really sad…!"
...Reimu seems ta visibly relax at that idea.
"So I want like, an escape ticket." I decide! "...Namely, your great-times-whatever grandma's sword as a harpoon!"
"Just say who you're scared of already." Reimu gives me a tired look! "You're beating around the bush. I'd like to know why." Jesus! She ain't the server admin fer nothing, apparently…!
"Well!" ...Let's see! "Kazami!" Fer one! "Also, this new loli on the block- this one that used to follow this Matt dude around."
"Oh…" Reimu tilts her head back. "That… guy. That outsider. Right?"
"Ye." I nod big.
"Where is he?" Reimu looks at me! "There's a good bounty on him. I'm still pissed about the time he got away. This time I won't go easy." Oh god Matt what did you do.
"Anyway- he's got this loli friend who seems like she just indiscriminately murders humans!" I bring up the inevitable! "Dunno where they are now though, 'cause they weren't home last I checked."
...Reimu starts smiling. And she smiles really hard too! "And- you only thought to tell me now?"
I flail my arms around! "When was I supposed ta tell ya…!? I dunno how enforcement works!"
She exhaled. "...Mmn. Well, if she's as bad as you say, I guess your fear is warranted."
Oh! "Also! So- my girlfriend's a yuki-onna right? She's got a sister who really hates humans, she's kinda going psycho. We could get jumped!"
Reimu nods again! "Well- okay…"
"Also, that event with Maribel!" I bring up! "I talked wit' her recently, and she kinda tried to threaten me man...! At least, it felt like it!"
"Okay…!" Reimu gave me a pitying look! "Geez. I mean, I suppose it's natural someone like you'd make a lot of enemies, but still." What's that supposed ta mean…!? "Well, whatever. You want me to write the rest of the letter too? I can't help but notice there's nothing down at all."
I shrug. "I mean, I dunno. It's gotta be worded in a way that'd make someone of the big many years ago at peace. Also, they hate me, my relationship, humans that aren't Hakurei, and youkai, enough ta kill. So ya should say Gensokyo and the Hakurei are under siege instead!"
Reimu gives me a slightly more incredulous look! "Oo~kay. Anything specific?"
Aw. Aww…
"Dark robotic astral zombies." I announce! "Here to eat the peasants that live in the village!"
...Reimu looks snug, dude. An' also incredibly done! But then she gets up from the kotatsu. "Let me get a pen…" Yeehaw!
"Siege engines of hell's creation…!" Aw. "Fluffles in forts!"
Reimu stops, and gives me a firm look!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Reimu finishes signing her name at the bottom of the Japanese document.
"Don't complain about the handwriting." Reimu bluntly adds. "A letter's a letter. I'm a growing girl. So on." I can't read what you wrote anyway!
Also, Kasen is here. She's seated across from Reimu, to the right of me, peeling a mandarin!
I am in my space suit… body suit, that is. On my head, I got the Kaguya wig instead!
Face firm, I nod at Reimu firmly. "You have saved my land's people." I speak like an indian!
Reimu's brows furrow slightly! She speaks in lips. 'What are you doing?'
I have always been bad at lips! 'Me am Kasen would you no.'
Reimu rolls her eyes!
"What's going on…?" Kasen looks confused! "Reimu, why are you signing your name?"
"Um…" Reimu scoots closer to me! As in- around the kotatsu entirely-
She whispers into my ear! "Why are you- what is this?"
I whisper back! "You really wanna bother to fill Kasen in too…!?"
...Reimu gives me a nod! "Nnn, good point…"
"Uhf." Reimu sits back where she was. "I was, um…"
"She was saving my land's people." I give Kasen the firmest, seriousest look possible. "We are new to Gensokyo. We come from America."
...Kasen shakes her head slightly! "Um. Okay? You're a human…? How does this letter… save your land's people?"
"We were in need of a deed." I declare. "We are of indiginous America." I- I dunno if anyone's ever said it like that!
"Oh!" Kasen perked up! "Indians…!?"
Yeah exactly! I give her a hard frown. "We are not indians." Oh yeah, I'm gettin' in character now!
Kasen recoils just slightly! "I- I'm sorry?"
"That's racist." Oh my god- don't smile- don't smile. "We are native Americans. 'Indian' is a misnomer."
"Re- really…?" Kasen looks slightly mortified! "I-... it doesn't mean indignous?"
"No." I give her the dead fish-eyed 'y'fookin' stupid?' look. "It means indian. From India."
"We- well… sorr- sorry, I guess." Kasen smiles awkwardly! "Welcome to Gensokyo… um. What's your name?"
"Big Air Wheel." Oo- oh my god…
Kasen has a flat look! "Why're you chuckling…?"
"Apologies." I beat at my chest! "Your expression was simply humorous."
"...Rude." Kasen shook her head! "Well. Alright, Big Air Wheel." Oh my god. "Um. You're… sure you know what you're doing, Reimu? Signatures are serious."
"Um." Reimu has a huge grin! "Ye- yeah. Here."
I take the sheet a' parchment and shove it in my ass! Standing, I maintain my composure just a little longer… "Tha- thank you, Hakurei. My people will be in your debt. A totem in your honor, and a-... a carapace of fruit for you."
"Thank-... you." Reimu looks really displaced! "Bi- Big Air Wheel." I- I can't take this…!
Nodding, I turn around, and just-... start leaving!
Shoof. I see myself on outside… an' slide the shut door behind me wit' a shoof too.
Alright… contain yerself Brad.
Walk down the steps… alright.
And fuckin' bolt it book it go go go! Wahahaha~! "Grief in the sno~w! A winter of woe~! Wa-"
Oh shit I took the big leap off the stairs oh god! Yehehah!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Maria kneads some dough. She does it really quickly, such that her movements are slightly hyper. It's weirdly adorable.
"Nnh- nn…" The dough has become quite worked, I'd imagine. Maria grunts as she puts her back into it.
"Is it done?" I wonder.
Maria gives me a look. "...No, this's gonna take like, a couple more minutes. This dough's gotta be firm."
What…? Oh, firm? I thought she was trying to kill it. Cooking is very foreign to me…
I wonder if Brad went back home to relax like he said he would. It was just some brief exchange at the Hakurei shrine, he said. For culture. Supposedly.
"I thought you were trying to kill the dough." I provide, absentmindedly.
...Maria gives me a grin. "I- I guess so. You gotta beat it 'till it's firm."
Putting her fists up boxing-style, Maria takes playful punches at the dough. She's starting to realize exactly how adorable she is on average, which is mildly intimidating.
"Mmm…" Oh. Sally strolls into the room, looking content. Despite being deceased, she exudes a calm energy as she comes up and looks over the dough. "I'm glad your technique hasn't degraded in the… time, that we've spent away."
Maria snorts. "...Yeah."
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
"Lo~ng, I've suffered the thunder!" Waltzin' down the Hakurei path, I march under the flutterin' snow, and head for the icy, Misty Lake… "Long I've silenced the cry! Long I've fled from the-..."
Wait, I fucked up, I said thunder earlier. What was the first line? It wasn't thunder! "I've fled from the thunder!" Whatever! "To asce~nd…!"
Aw. Here I am. The Misty Lake. Y'know, I wonder if Cirno survived getting her brain mixed by a power drill.
Where'd Ha-chan go. I'm pretty sure I gave her like, a simple task ta do while waitin' fer me…!
Wait. Oh. Oh no.
When I turn left, I see a large fluffle. It's three times taller than me… meaning it's like twenty feet tall!
On all fours, it advances towards me.
"Mmn!" I hear Ha-chan…! "Hehehe~lp!" Wat. Oh no!
She's inside the fluffle! "Ha-chan- baby, what'd you do!?"
"Aaaa~!" She yells! "I was chasing the fluffle like you said!" Oh no! The fluffle lead her to its larger, predatorial brethren!
Moving as slow as a sloth, the giant fluffle ominously scuttles at snail speed towards me!
...Fwi- Click. With a quick equip-change, wielding Fallen Comrade, I just, take the blade end, and uh…
ri~p. I poke it into the fluff's neck space, and cut down.
thump. Ha-chan slips from the big slit I made, riding out among stuffing. "Oouh…"
The fluffle slowly opens its shell nose, as if to bite onto my head with it. Oh god. Oh no dude- here it comes dude…!
Getting onto her legs, floating into the air- uh Ha-chan what…!
Ha-chan dives into the fluffle's maw and climbs back inside! "Nn-... aaaa~!"
"What the fuck…!" Ha-chan baby, no! "Wahaha~!"
Ha-chan is swallowed whole in one bite dude! She just adventures into the great beyond!
...Thump! Exiting through the slit in its neck again, she holds the fluffle I sent her to chase around! "Fh- hehehe! Got it!"
"little kugle!" Little Kugle has been recovered!
Dusting off the dust creature- to little avail- Ha-chan hands it back to me. "Here you go!"
"Yeah!" I pocket Little Kugle…! "Mission accomplished!"
Spreading my arms out-
Fwash! My fairy wings bloom! "To infinity… and beyond!"
Woosh! I jump three times rapidly, and ascend!
...Thump. "Ow." Landing on my feet was rough, however. I did save my fourth jump, but I was curious how the impact would treat me, so I didn't use it! If uh, if I used all four I probably woulda actually hurt myself.
Ha-chan descends from above. "Aww. You'll get it next time…" Oh. Aw- she thought I was trying to actually fly! Yeehaw!
"Yeah man." Anyway! Yeah- Meiling, we're goin' ta see Meiling. Yeah, rare thought, I know!
snap. The big fluffle behind me finally finished its attack on where my head was a minute ago, closing its shell nose like ten meters behind me.
Movin' along the right a' the Misty Lake today, we get on progressin' on… yeah.
Whi~sh. A cutting wind whirls past us, snowflakes mixed along the blue breeze. Man, the grey and distant blue is just so beautiful.
"What a winter wonderland!" I hold out my arms, an' spin around! "If only I was better at platforming..."
...Ha-chan comes up to me! "Hey, Brad-kun."
"Hi!" I look at her!
"I need ice resistance." Oh. Right! "I need it." She holds up her mittens! And- huh. "My mittens are frozen, it's so cold!" She's right too!
I wave a finger in the air! "Well…" Aw.
...Fwi- Click. I get my ice emperor wreath thing outta my hair, and give it to Ha-chan! "Wear this fer the time being! ...It'll halve the cold, which means this'll just be a breezy day fer ya."
Ha-chan holds her mouth over her hands. "But-... that's one of Genkan's gifts."
"I ain't lettin' ya keep it!" It's so ya don't lose your hands to frostbite!
I place it on her head. "Surprise! You're the new holy roman emperor!"
"Aw!" She's awed! "Woah…"
cr- crack. The ice on her hands just breaks off! "Cool! That- feels- ehehe- a lot better…"
"Good!" Now Ha-chan will not suffer the final brain death.
Aw, yes. Let's go, dude.
...As we venture around the snowy lakeside, exploring the dim lights and sounds of the empty, melancholic but easy day, we hear some shit that's really foreign.
vu- vum, vum vum vum. That-... aah. That's-...
Bagpipes. Someone's playing fucking bagpipes in the most remote of Japan. Holy shit.
vu- vum. Vum vum vum. VHII- VHIR! Vu- vum. Vum vum vum. It gets louder over time, causin' me and Ha-chan to look around!
"Broken swords, and dragon's bones…"
Ooh. Aw…
"Scattered on the way back home."
Oh my god.
It's a yuki-onna in full plaid, with one of those scottish hats, with a kilt.
"Beating to the sound of clashing steel… when they're on our heels."
She marches up, the red-blue flags on her bagpipes billowing in the winter wind.
Her voice raises! "Now chant the tales, and legends told. Strengthened by the hymns of old."
"Weathered, as this winding road is long…"
She opens her eyes, gazing at me. They're deep green, and seem like they've got multiple irises. "So we sing this Traveler's Song."
Aw. I nod in approval, dude. "Good taste, son. I like Aviators too!" The- the band, not the glasses. Are they a band, or just one dude with some editors? I forget.
...Ceasing her jaunty walk, stopping before us, she closes her eyes again! "I know not what you speak."
Aw. "Where'd ya learn that song?" I swear I've heard that from a Youtube video on the outside…
"A verse I found scattered. Tossed to the wind, where a thousand dreams failed." This yuki-onna seems to like to talk in bard.
"A fragmented passage. Servant to the annals of time, another lost voice in the vast world. Another bleeding vein, sourced to the divine and occult. A page, inscribed with tales of this world, obscured, forgotten, but not erased. Not yet."
...Ha-chan scratches her own hair! "Uhm…"
I have no idea what to say in response! "Is-... is there a less esoteric summary…!?"
She lets one eye open, slightly displaced by my request!
"The wind carried it. A sheet of pristine, flimsy parchment, as if from the gods. I know it to be a matter of technology… of some kind."
Oh, someone printed out the partial lyrics to a Youtube song and tossed it into the air, and this true scotsman yuki-onna found it and loved it. That's powerful! I wonder if that's Kaguya or Sanae's fault! ...Or, somehow, mine!
"Be it written by gods, lunarians, kappa, human or youkai otherwise, it is a catalogue. The observations of one who may now be dead or forgotten. A brilliant mind torn apart in the petty, ordinary events of the world. Knowledge and artistry now only mine to appreciate…"
She closed the one eye she opened. "Not anymore. I will sing the words written, and write my own. I will catalogue fantasy, until my own untimely demise. For, if I do not find something to live for… I will never live again."
Wow. Y'know, mood! "I suppose, y'know, I can amen t'that…!"
...Eyes still closed, she snorts. "Hmm?"
"I like to explore!" I summarize! "And see stuff!"
...She opened her eyes, gazing down at me. "A mind is easily shattered." Oh. "A single bad jolt to the head, and that imagination is dead. The sparks of the mind never to fire again. The slate wiped clean. A life is meaningless." Damn…!
Looking to the wind, an' the Misty Lake, she took a breath. "Parchment on its own may be erased. Books are burned. Statues are broken, people are killed, computers may cease. The only thing that is certain is what we feel, and how we make others feel. Though I record for my own sake, I sing too. I sing so all can hear."
Fixin' her gaze on me, she smiled. "If you share your life, your love, then I wish you promise. If you live only for your own means, I caution you, human."
Aw. "I mean, livin' for livin' is kinda what you're about, right?"
She smiles! "Well… yes. That's not quite the subject I set forth…"
Aw, I know. "Ye. I mean, I don't plan on hurtin' anyone if I can help it. Just, y'know… I like not dying as much as the next guy!"
She nods at that! "I simply preach that you are self-aware of your kind. Your fleeting nature, what you set free, as well as what you destroy."
Her cheery expression was also somewhat somber. "...Yesterday, my muse died."
Ah. "Muse?"
"My best friend." Oh. "Killed out of my vision. Left as a pile of snow and wind on the plains of our world. Our hundreds of years of friendship erased while I slept."
Well. I don't really have anything to say to that. My normal mode a' operations doesn't honor this discussion.
She elaborated. "Her body, left beside a centaur who too fell prey to the same fate, on the Hakurei trail. It… it was an eye-opening experience."
You know…
"I don't mean to be-... weird." I got a question to ask her. "What's a dead yuki-onna look like?"
...She's finding that question weird oh shit!
"I- I mean, do they turn to snow?" Uuh! "I know this's a weird question- but… I'd rather never have to see it the hard way."
She's not offended enough to not respond. "Think of a human corpse, except as a pile of blood." Hmm. "If you dug into the snow, you would find confused fragments that remain. Teeth, eyeballs, organs and fossilized blood."
Well! "...Sorry fer asking. I know that wasn't a good question for this moment, but-"
"It's fine." She nodded at me. "The fact you're afraid of hurting me speaks volumes as it is. Humans normally aren't like that."
She looked back into the forestry, and the lake, around us. "We'd always been careful. Yet, peace is apparently deceptive. Instead of hiding away for centuries longer, I can no longer take it. I will sing so the whole world can hear."
"So I ask you to heed me, human." She declares, starin' me down again! "I ask anyone who will listen to heed me. Even those who do not, cannot block out the sound of my music. The influence, and the wisdom, pierces that which even arrows, bullets and magic cannot."
Wait. Despite her presence now, I feel like I recognize her…
"I know you are not responsible. Nor is humanity, necessarily." Bard-onna informed me! "...I simply miss my friend."
She shook her head. "I'm getting distracted. My point being… a life is meaningless. The echoes of one's songs and actions, however, is as great as an impact as any of us can make. My sister, my love- she would have wished to see me make myself heard. And so I will."
She gave the air over me a determined look. "Human. I ask you to touch hearts and minds. I-..." She shook her head. "Live-... please, live so we all can live. Even though your life is fleeting, we can all be more. As will my sister, and I."
Hoh… "How long've you been singin'?" I wonder!
...She closes her eyes again! "Well. Today. I've been preparing for this day for a long time… and this is the way I will live, every winter from now on, until my voice is silenced."
Man. Her backstory's heavy! But...
Wait. "Did I see you yesterday?"
...She opens her eyes, and examines me too!
Wait. "You're the yuki-onna who said 'I'm mad'...! At the fluffle coralle!"
...She smiles! "I was mad." Yeehaw! "Not exactly because of my situation, but because you made me mad."
Wat! "How'd I make you mad…!?"
"You gathered us all together for no reason." She deduced…! "Just when I was ready to start exhibiting my arts, I was shown a more pointless demonstration." Hoh…
Then, she narrows her eyes at me! "I was also confused, and you were ambiguous enough to be suspicious. So I attacked."
How was I ambiguous enough to be suspicious? Freakin', fluffles dude...
Hoh. "Well, you were cuddly."
"I guess." She agrees, but only partially! Wha- whaddaya mean, you guess…!? S'just- a really weird reaction!
With that, she starts ta move. "I thank you for listening, human. Without my muse, I'll likely tend to run my mouth to strangers for years to come. Inconvenient, maybe, but I no longer care. Every night, a poem and thought. Every morning, a new start. Every day, a new verse, a new song, and a new… adventure."
Strolling past me, she starts ta travel summore. "My adventure starts now. Goodbye, human."
Aw. Well, okay. "Goodbye, friend."
...She seems ta take pause at my nothing of a goodbye! "...Friend?" Or maybe it wasn't so nothing! I kinda just say that 'cause I say that, but…
Turning back, she gives me a smile. "Goodbye, my human friend. Maybe our paths will cross once again. Maybe then, even you will have a story to tell." Yeah, uh, 'bout that…!
With that, the somewhat hilariously dressed yuki-onna began to drift off…
VHIR- VUM-... VUM VUM VUM! VHIR- VUM… VUM VUM VUM! Oh my god bagpipes are fucking loud, holy shit. Yeah- she wasn't kidding about the music piercing anything part!
...I turn ta Ha-chan!
"She makes me feel easy…" Ha-chan is peaceful, dude. She drifts in place eventfully, fer some reason!
"Hoh." She's a pretty easy-going yuki-onna…
As we turned ta go, I heard the yuki-onna sing as I went.
"Broken swords, and dragon's bones… scattered on the way back home…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...Meiling winks an eye open, as I stand before her at the gate!
"Happy belated Canadian Boxing day!" I wave at her!
Here we are, man! The Scarlet Devil Mansion.
Man. I do half feel like I freakin' live here at this point. It's been a few months, hasn't it? Walking up to the gates feels so damn natural now.
Meiling snorts at my greeting! "There you are. Flan was wonderin' where you got off ta. Y'didn't come by yesterday fer much of anything."
"Me and Genkan were having a lot of sex." I summarize some of the events! "And also hanging out!"
Suddenly Meiling has a huge grin! "Y'know- I think you're one of few people who'd be that forthright about it! Most people'd call that too much information!"
"My social tact receptors grow weaker by the minute!" I declare!
"So…" She closed her eyes fully, relaxing on the brick wall against the gate. "What's the plan today? More boat buildin'?"
Well, maybe, probably. But also…
I bow at her! "Meiling, I need to to teach me to kick some serious ass. And fast. Eat ass, skate ass. Fast ass."
...Meiling just stares at me, her eyes now open!
"Semen speed racer." I conclude my thought.
"You-..." Meiling shook her head! "Poetry, man. Poetry. Well, didja have anything in mind you wanted to know?"
Well! "How to use those funny weapons y'gave me fer one thing! And also, like, I dunno… what're the basics of combat…!?"
"Ah. The basics…?" Meiling considered that. "Hmm. How basic're these basics?"
Probably a good question! Well, I mean… "I cast spells and throw my hangers at people to get 'em off me usually!"
Meiling looks somewhat pitying! "Well, alright, I'll give ya the briefest rundown. Then we'll get into some shit about each weapon type that y'might need to know."
Meiling pushed from the wall she was up against, and stood rigidly before me…
"But, before all that…" She beamed at me.
"One clean punch." Meiling tapped her forehead! "Right against my forehead. Gimme everything you got. I wanna feel how much- or how little- there is to ya."
Everything I got, huh. Well, considering jumping all over her arm didn't do anything…
Winding my left arm all the way back… I run at Meiling-
Pap! -and ram her in the face! Knuckles first!
...To, uh, little effect! In fact, she like leaned into my punch, and-...
"Ow!" I- I feel like I punched a wall! "Yeheheow! Holy shit!"
Meiling staggers back more in mirth than in any kind of pain! "...Not much, apparently! You are not gonna be a fists-only kinda fighter." Yeah, no foolin'...!?
She closed her eyes, an' yawned. "Haa~... aah." I'mma give 'er the benefit of the doubt and figure that was one of them wakin' up kinda yawns. "Alright. How fast can ya move? Here..."
Creaaak. She pushes the gate to the mansion open. "Race ya around the mansion. One lap, we stop at the front door. You ready?" Oh!?
Aw! That reminds me…
Fwi- Click! I summon the carrot medallion I received from Tewi! Aw…
"Yeah!" I grin at 'er, lining up next ta her! "I'm ready!"
"Okay." She held up a hand. "Three…"
Oh boy. Time to go fast man.
"Two." Meiling reaches into the air over herself.
Fwish. Ooh. She summoned- a wood pole. It was created in a flash of rainbow light; not too bright, but enough to light up the wet winterland around us.
"One." She gets into position real quick oh shit.
Alright…
"Go!" Meiling-
WOOSH! Oh shit Meiling is fast-
Holy shit- I'm also so fast!
Meiling makes to the left- so I guess we're going that way!
Bambambambambam! She runs with such fucking charisma. Her chest barely jiggles, her whole upper body steady as she treads like a tank up to the first hedge barrier along the left.
Clack! "Hyup!" Oh. That's what the pole was for. She used it to leap!
Skri~sh! When I try and turn around the corner past that big hedge, I have to skid in the snow, and-...
Y'know- sprinting, despite my body being so light, still tires me. It's the mere motion of moving my limbs like that that's so tiring. So much movement. It burns the cellular energy.
And turning? Turning just amplifies the problem! I can feel my body being unable to force itself to do something like that so quickly!
Maybe this is why I'm slow on stairs unless I stride up two steps at once. My body just cannot waste motions. Not without trippin' all over itself.
The icy path I'm on follows closely along the front face of the mansion.
Clack! Clack, clack! Wait. Oh my god…
Meiling hops around the garden, off the fucking tips of bamboo poles that sporadically stuck out of the central lane of flowers. They were explicitly there for her to jump off of.
I can't even say it's cheating because it's ironically, a less optimal path. I'm literally taking a shorter path by not doin' that!
Coming to the corner of the mansion before her-
Skriish! Oh- man, fuck this ice. Man-
When I get back up, there's a-
Remilia. She's walking along with a parasol, and a big fluffy winter coat.
"Oh…?" Her HD-textured red eyes meet mine, glowing in the winter gloom.
I book it past her! "Yeehaw-"
She grabs me oh god-
Skrishkrishkrishkrish! I try to run to break her grasp- but vampire hands are too strong! I run a rut into the snow I'm in instead!
"You're awfully chipper today." She pulls me back! "What has you all-"
WOOSH! Meiling does a flip over a big square hedge next to us! "Yah!"
"We're racing…!" I tell her!
Remi lets go of me! "Say no more." Aw, woohoo!
So I start bookin' it again- and now me and Meiling are basically on par again!
"Hap- aah! Yah!" Meiling leaps around on flat rocks arranged amidst multiple beds of flowers; even such that her jumps aren't displacing said rocks in the process.
Running under a wooden beam thing with ivy all over it, I pass by some tea tables; there's a whole fancy side porch set up here! No head over it, but a stone flooring- which is all cleaned, so I can run really fast on it!
Passing under the second wooden arch of ivy and stuff, I come to the second corner.
Skriish! Man- fuck corners! Aah, well. I'm still at the advantage like this- so I just gotta scramble faster!
POMF! Oh, fuck.
I end up running into a big fairy maid. She has pastel blue hair, and red eyes.
"Oh!" She's only slightly jostled by my whole body running into her.
Before I can fall back, she catches me with her arms. She's apparently really comfy, because she's going sleeveless in the middle of freakin' winter.
"Oh my god…" She beams down at me. She's taller than me. What are those wings what the fuck- why do her wings eat light…!? "It's my lucky day."
I- I try and struggle from her grasp- but-...
"Mmn." She kisses her blue lips against mine all of a sudden- what the fuck!
Fwish! My own fairy wing things bloom. She reaches an arm behind my back, feeling at one of them.
I- I try and push out of her grasp but-
"Hah!" Meiling does a forward flip over a fuckin' fountain entirely.
A huge maid with pastel-red hair floats up there, on a collision course with Meiling.
FWRAR. Her massive, angular red-black-white wings flare up. "What-" She braces her arms, drawing a complex symbol in the air with her hands and fingers. "Terragone- Rather Agony-"
FWI- FRARAR! Red and brown crystals form in the air around her.
Fwish! With a flare of light, Meiling draws a rainbow across the Scarlet Devil Mansion garden.
She conjures her wooden nunchucks from the aether.
She snaps into a barrel roll in mid-air, rainbow heat suddenly blooming from her form, like she's every flower in the midday's overcast sky.
"Hiyaa~!" Yelling, a rainbow in her trail, she snaps into a barrel roll, her side facing the fairy.
She's slinging the nunchuck while she rolls. Like this, she's like…
A big air wheel of rainbow death in mid-air. A revolver of physical hell.
The fairy, despite her scary advanced magic and stature, is not ready.
WHAPAPAPAPAPAP! Meiling's rainbow nunchuck, even wooden as it is, cuts the fairy down the middle.
PI~CHUN! WooshWooshWoosh! The advanced fairy maid explodes into a windy cataclysm. Meiling rides the draft, now spinning upright, nunchuck lighting her up like the bulb of a lighthouse as she takes off.
"Woohoohoo~!" With that, Meiling continues to sail off.
...I, uh, I dunno if I'm gonna win this race, boys!
The pastel-haired maid holding onto me has her jaw slack. Instead of snoggin' me, she stuffed me into her boobs while she beheld the show. "Oh my god…"
Freakin'... I pinch one of her tits.
"Yeeheaa- ow!" Yeah woohoo!
Skrish- swish! Fumblin' past her, I take on off, and jog!
"Tammy!" Oh! The fairy calls out to her friend! "Get him!"
...Oh my god it's the kid commissar. I forgot he existed.
This short 'fairy maid' stands before me, dressed up with plastic wings. There's a star drawn on his right cheek, and he's all dolled up like a girl. Oh my god little Timmy what did they do to you…!?
"We're not letting you go, fairy man!" Aa- ah, is that who I am? Am I the fairy whisperer? I didn't ask for this!
...Whap! Oo- oh! I just fuckin' kick him over, and he flops away like a ragdoll! "Aagh!" Y'know you got it bad when I can kick you over…!
Yeehaw! Alright-...
Oh, fuck. The path I have to take deviates.
Unable to keep following the wall, I'm forced to converge with the other paths across a central, diagonal one, which forces me to go along the very back brick wall.
Man-... I'm really bookin' it! Freakin'-...
Skrii~sh! Comin' around the next corner, I really gotta book it!
whap! My butt bumps the brick wall 'cause I skid into it, and I take off on the rebound!
Crunch! Ooh- god! I got hit with a snowball!
...Oh no! It's a snowball fight!
The snowy fairy girls are all wearing hardly anything- some just naked for some reason- as they chuck things at one another. Some're just in bloomers and bras, and you know only some of them are even mansion maids!
Woosh- woosh! Weaving, bobbin' and flailing around, I run through the snowy fairies as they whirl around me-
Fwash- fwoash! Someone tries to freeze me, but I just heal. Aw, yeah.
"Woohoo!" Cirno roars past me, half-naked too. Man- everyone's skin is so snowy. I thought I was ghost-colored, but man, ice people…
And I'd know- Genkan is milky-white, even compared to me!
"Look at that guy!"
"He's so cute!"
"No he's not…?" Cirno is the one fairy that's not horny.
Then, Meiling comes down ahead a' me.
BOOM! She lands hard- and snow is flushed away around her, just fwoofin' off.
"Woah-" That almost sends me flying off my feet!
Skriish! Meiling drags her right heel into the ground. She skids across the ground, spinning three-sixty, two sticks held in either hand.
WHACRACK- KRACK! KRACK! As a rainbow typhoon aside me, Meiling parries, shuts down, and annihilates any snowball that comes her way.
WHAKLACK! "Huhuwhuooaa~!" A fairy's hit in the ass and is just sent fuckin' soarin' away, poised to land on her knees and face! Hohoholy shit!
Using Meiling's glow to keep track of where she is, I keep my distance as I run aside her!
cla- clack, clack. I run over the nuclear index puzzle thing on the floor. What the fuck is this, again? It's the giant, round metal plate with square key block things inside of it, from a zillion chapters ago! It's covered in ice and snow right now…
Alright.
Skriish! I round the final turn.
Clack, clack, clack! Ooh- oh what the fuck.
Meiling runs across the mansion walls beside and above me, just- runnin' vertically.
"Yah!" She leaps off at the corner, gaining forward momentum- ooh no you don't…!
Crunch! She lands-... ooh.
Oh no. It's Sakuya! ...Ooh. Sakuya doesn't engage me- she engages Meiling!
KLI- KLI- KLING! Meiling pulls a wood bokken from the aether, and uses it to swipe a barrage of danmaku knives from the air.
"Meiling-" Sakuya speaks up, but-
SWOOSH! Meiling spins as she moves forward, making a circular slice, taking out a wave of knives coming in for the back of her head.
"Not today!" Meiling crouched down under another wave, and chucked her sword!
BAM! Ooh! It hits Sakuya between the eyes- because it came at Sakuya at an angle that hid the fact it was even moving! "Ghu- aah…!?"
Eventually, we both reach the porch.
Thump- THUD! We both bellyflop onto the porch, at basically the same time!
"...What the hell?" Remilia's giving us a judging look as we both lay there defeated! And Sakuya's just- dead an' gone, behind us! "What even happened?"
"Cast right the fuck-... into the void." I announce, as if defeated. "Deleted."
Meiling grins up at her! "Oh. Heya, mistress."
"Good morning, Meiling."
Sakuya was now crouched next to us. "I'm going to drive a street cleaner over your arms." Sakuya announces this to Meiling in particular!
Aw. That reminds me. "Buenos dias, Sakuya."
...Sakuya gives me a flat look! "Imbecil." Pft- uu- oh! That- went too perfectly, somehow!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
The scene resets, with both me and Meiling back at the open manor gate!
Shink. Meiling pulls a real knife outta her ass. "Ehehe… ow~." Y'see the ice fairy situation was 'cause they all snuck in in the like, twelve seconds me and Meiling were racing!
...cr- crack. She cracks her neck a little. "So, uh…" Looking me over, she smiles heartily. "You're kinda fast. With that medallion, at least. You think you know what slowed ya down?"
I think I know. "My body makes a lotta wasteful motions that it can't force through 'cause of how weak I am!"
"Bingo~." Meiling points at me! "You are skin and bone. Turning around, applying force to anything… you won't be able to be too precise with your limbs in a hurry. You got all the grace of a bull without the strength ta match."
Man. Wau. That really makes it sound like I'm in a bad way…!
"But, you aren't gonna be a fist-fighter anyway."
Meiling cames up to me, and began circlin' around me.
"You're gonna be a weapon man, right?" She nods as she circles me. "In Gensokyo, you'll pro'lly get by okay. But…"
"You think of working out, maybe? Getting a diet?" Meiling questioned!
"Eeh, maybe." Could I actually commit to somethin' like that? I dunno… and, with the tools I have…
Is it necessary? Hmm. I'm not sure if Meiling would even know.
"Keep it in mind." Meiling could see that I was thinkin' about it.
...Yeah. Aside from my medallion, I didn't use anything in that last race, did I? I didn't use my gravity boots. I didn't use any of my weapons… unlike that one time I raced Miko and used super bad luck berserk confusion on her to give her the worst day physically possible.
"So." Meiling smiled at me! "How's about we spar?"
Wait, what. "Just-... right now?"
She raised her arms, standing in front of me! "Yeah! Try to take me seriously, now. Treat me like a real threat."
Um. Well-
She comes at me. Oh my god she's so fast-
Oohp- ooh! Right- the medallion also helps lighten my limbs some! When I jump, I jump so high I can just jump over Meiling-
Oh. She grabs me by the ankles.
"No jumping just yet."
Thump! Ooh! She- firmly plants me on my shoes! "Ground movements only." Ooh…
Alright! Well- oh shit Jesus fuck!
woosh! Meiling jabs the ball of her left palm at my face. I fuckin' fall the fuck over to get outta the way- and like, swooce along the ground as I fall!
Jumping against the air as I tumble, I jolt back into standing awkwardly around her side, stumblin' around! "Waha- hoo! Ooh-"
WOOSH. Ooh- oh. Meiling's arm roars past my face, throwing that same jab that I'd barely avoided.
She only had to pivot around to be ready fer me. A motion that's basically nothing to her. To me, pivoting around would disorient the fuck outta me.
...That said, I uh, I don't have anything else planned. Meiling's arm sticks in the air beside my head for a moment, before she she disengages.
"Okay~..." Meiling steps back, and nods. "Take the medal off, and we'll do it again." Uh oh.
Fwi- Click. Specifically the medal is desummoned. I am now without my defenses, man.
Meiling nods. "Ready?"
Um! "Yeah! Ready!"
...Oh- my god why is she- so fast!?
WOOSH! She narrowly misses my face- likely on purpose-
"Whahaha!" I leap aside her- and try the same trick of falling by her wayside and jolting with my jumps to get back into place-
Thud- fwish…! Aa-... ow. Instead, I just faceplant next to her and skid along the floor.
"...Ehe- eheh." Meiling giggles just slightly! "Okay. Yeah, you-... might be onto somethin'... but not, that's not gonna work without some polish. Some real good polish."
Pickin' me up, she places me back onto my feet! "Okay. So…"
fwish! Oo- oh! She suddenly jerks to my left in the fraction of a second.
WOOSH. Her palm roars past my face, missing me on purpose.
fwish! Sliding along the floor again, the image of her is gone in a rainbow blur.
WOOSH. Ooh- her arm came from the right of me this time…
...Jogging casually up around my left now, she turned and- booped me on the nose with her thumb! "Lemme tell ya- not all of this speed is from bein' a youkai! ...Even if that has like, a lot to do with it."
"I would like to buy some speed." Meiling is marketing me her Chinese drugs, man.
...She gives me a flat look! "You~ wiseguy. Well…"
She held up a finger! "That motion… well, it's basically a quick step. There's no real name for it. You take a real quick step."
Aah. Yeah. "Just step fast. Yeah, totally. Why'd I never think of that before?"
Meiling snorts back at me! "Uh huh. Like, uh… like this."
Slowing down, she does a similar motion around me, except she does it really slowly.
To circle around me, she thrusts the side of her body close to the direction she wants to go. When she does it really slowly, she doesn't get as much distance.
"It kinda uses your body weight." She notes. "...You don't have much bodyweight."
I try and do her swoocin' motion but just kinda-... well, I mean, it feels quick and hard to do, but obviously it doesn't just work like that!
Crouching slightly, I put a leg out and slide up onto it, and- y'know I feel like I look like an asshole! "Y'know, this feels sensitive to ground friction too!"
Meiling shrugs. "Shouldn't be. Most people carry the floor with them a bit." Do I look like freakin' Hercules…!?
Yeah, I dunno if she's ever had to work with someone as fragile as me. "Hey, Meiling, when's the last time you instructed a subhuman-tier dude…!?"
Meiling takes pause. "...I mean, Sakuya was pretty flimsy when I first met her. But that was, uh, awhile ago. Maybe I know less than I did about teachin'. Especially 'cause that was a harder time for the mansion, and I was far more on edge. Gensokyo's let me take it easier in some ways."
Hmm. I wonder…
Fwi- Click. Changing into my Gravity boots, I prepare to test a theory. A game theo-... no, that meme is dead.
With my magic, I flick the grav boots on just briefly. Just enough to give a little oomph. And, ooh. It's a good little jolt!
...Meiling blinks at me!
"I got gas." I adequately inform her.
Fwish! When I do the swooce motion, with my boots on just briefly-... oh ho ho ho!
"Aw!" I think we got an answer to my problem! They helped me slide a quarter-circle ta Meiling's side! Not quite as fast as when she does it, but still, it's fast enough to slightly disorient me, which is way faster than I can shove myself normally!
Meiling gives me a really vague look! "That… works. I guess. What- did you do?" Yeah man!
"I'm usin' my tools, man!" Yeah man! "It's all in the boots!" I show Meiling one of my boots for half a second before I stomp down onto it, finding my balance!
"Aah. I see. Damn…" She blinks! "Why the heck'd you not use that sooner? I forgot you had that. Yeah- cleverness like that. That kinda stuff's par for the course in advanced combat in Gensokyo."
After a moment of us starin' one another down, she gains a flatter expression! "Still. Practice the real way in your free time. And, y'know, think about exercising!"
"S'movin'." Yeah dude…! "I be s'movin'!"
Meiling nods! "Yeah! … Smooth-... s'movin'."
Her gaze grew firmer as she stared away from me in thought! "You know, maybe qi has something to do with it."
Oh no, the martial artist's version of the magic motive, stat, resource bar and-or thematic excuse for metaphysical anime logic. Oouh...
"But we're not gettin' into all that jargon hullabaloo today." Oh, good. I do not yet wish to be acquainted with the differences between Qi, Chi, Chakra, Ching, Chongaroonie, the lunarian concept of purity, Zi, Chei, Fu, Fi Fye Fo Fum, the penis leylines, el calvo blanco, or the effects of raw horny testosterone on physical performance!
Oh, and don't forget Heat! And DRAGON BALL ENERGY. And focus. Drive gauge? Where's my gauge for staring at Genkan's tits. Do we get a counter for every time I talk about Genkan's tits? Can I spend it on upgrades?
"Genkan drains my focus gauge." I decide to inform Meiling.
...When she doesn't reply, I do for her! "Supposing that... there was a counter, which counted how many times I talked about Genkan's chest-... and counted as a currency, could I spend it on upgrades?"
"Just fer that, I'm gonna beat you up." Pft- oh no.
Fwish! With all a' that said, she summons her own wooden nunchucks into existence!
Click! The nunchuck's chains snap into form when she tugs both ends tight, striking a stereotypical pose!
"...You're totally gonna wanna learn how to use weapons! Like, as weapons, not just as clubs!"
I wonder. "Shouldn't we be like, thinking about tonfa techniques? 'Cause Sakuya equated the hanger to a tonfa…"
Meiling nods! "Yeah, and if you only knew how to use tonfas, you'd be in trouble. 'Specially if you fought anyone wit' a different weapon. I want you to get ta know each weapon. Every weapon is different. If ya got surprised some day, 'cause you didn't know how an enemy's weapon worked, wouldn't that suck?"
Y'know, that is true...
Meiling could tell I was bein' persuaded! "If you play into their strengths, even a weak, uh… admittedly quite feeble human like yourself can quickly start gainin' some upper hands. Weapons make big differences. Now..."
She put her arms on her hips. "You might think you might as well just use magic, or guns. Sometimes, that'd probably be a good idea. But not always. And you certainly don't wanna start jumpin' the gun and using big nukes on everything." Hooh.
She raises a finger! "Your pal Maria, or miss Patchouli, both of 'em can hardly take a hit, they're not all that evasive. They super rely on the effectiveness of their spells to land sudden damage and to debilitate foes. The bad part's if that fails. Patchy has a hundred contention plans, but even she could get seriously hurt- or worse."
I'm reminded of that time I was able to jump into her personal space and heckle her despite being a noob, just 'cause she wasn't incinerating me at long range. She came close with those rock and water spells, too!
Hoh. Well… the variety would be good. If I was good with these boots and my weapons, I could be a close range man despite being essentially anemic!
Doesn't One Million Revenants work kinda like a nunchuck…? It's a bit demented in shape- but conceptually, y'know… two sticks, one central chain. It's close!
"So!" Meiling yells at me! Man- this martial arts shit is intense! "Let's jump into it!"
whi- whish, whish! Why's she just swingin' it around and walking at me oh god-
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: HANA'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Me, you, and this fluffle.
I'm at the fluffle stand! It stands. The fluffle behind it stands… and it stares at me.
Blankly. It's really cute despite that though!
Woosh! "Oh shit whaddup!" What- oh no! Meiling almost hit Brad!
Brad dives back- and does this really... cool backward roll? I think it was cool! He's left crouched afterward. "Hoh- fuck! How's- how's this teach me ta swing nunchucks!?"
"We're sparring!" Meiling is loud! "You want to defend who you care about, right!? You've gotta be ready whenever!" Ooh… oh- she's like, right. But I feel like Brad's usually ready.
Click! The stick things- nunchucks- click, when Meiling brings them together.
"And I figure you'd better learn how it's done through a little demonstration. A live demonstration! Unlike a video or a film, you're gonna have to respond to what I do. Ain't that an idea!?"
"Meiling- I bruise easy…!" Does he? Y'know- I don't think so! "Don't touch me- I'm sterile!"
"Pfhk-" Meiling almost laughs! "Do- don't go randomly saying that around yer lady now. Some people might not think that's a joke…!"
Fwi- Click! Brad draws a-... one of his things! I don't think even he keeps up with the names half the time. This one's really plain though, like when we first met…
Oh, right. Plant hanger. That's what it is!
"Well- if it's a duel you want…!" Brad's ready with his regular plant hanger!
"Couple rules." Meiling holds a hand up…
"No jumping foolery just yet. I'll tell you when y'can start jumping around. Air combat's more complicated.
"No eye attacks on purpose. No groin shots, legs are fine.
"No items or healing potions. Body's gotta burn through that pain itself.
"Finally, no magic or special weapons." Meiling smiled and nodded. "This is all about technique. You can't be cheatin' now."
Why's Brad doing this again? Hmm. When I think about it, Brad and Genkan and Maria have been getting beaten up… well, for awhile. But it always ends well! So I don't see why he has to-... does he have to? Yeah- why he has to do this.
"So, come on!" Meiling beats a single arm against her chest! "Give me all ya got!"
Whack! Oh! Swinging inward, Brad strikes Meiling across the face with his hanger! "Oo- oh!" Even he looks surprised! But, his arm recoils way harder than Meiling's head does...
"...C'mon- follow up!" She asks him to keep attacking. It's like she's not hurt at all!
Brad swung his hanger back outward.
THINK! It scraped across Meiling's left cheek. Her head hardly moved, and her skin didn't even get bruised...
"That all y'got!?" Meiling starts to raise her nunchucks!
Brad swings his hanger back in towards himself!
WHUNK! The hilt-handle-y bit scrapes across Meiling's nose
Was his hanger always black? I swear it was sorta red! Or pink… or brick color.
Meiling swings her nunchucks out-
WHACK! Oh- ow! She hit Brad across the chin- obviously not using all her strength, but still, it was still like- still… ow.
I can't really even follow what she does. It's so cool though! She like- flips and whips it around and- ooh, ooh, ooh…!
Clack! Brad slowly blocks a gentle, incoming swing with his hanger. "Ooh-..."
Then, he smiled! "Ooh- I know that game!" He used a similar motion, I think! Much more slowly, he flicked the hanger in his grasp back and reclaimed it underhand with his other arm.
He grabbed the hanger by the middle-
Whap! Unleashing it, he slapped her across the face with the handle! And he also reached for where it'd end up, under the arm he just used to attack.
"Heh!" Meiling raised a brow, beaming. "S'that all you-
Brad whipped his arm back up- and way harder!
WHAM! Oh! He hit Meiling across the chin really hard! He was ready- 'cause his arm went into position so early! That's really cool!
Meiling took a step back. Oo-... oh. That hit actually moved her…!?
Brad made a little 'o' with his lips. "Aah-... are- are you okay…?"
Meiling beamed, and gave him a really big smile back! "Oh- don't you go askin' me that! But since yer so confident- how about we actually start sparrin'!?"
...When I turn to the fluffle, it's close to me, standing on the counter, on top of some old books. It smells…
"a theater near you" It smells like wood. Soft wood.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Oh no oh god oh shit.
Wooden nunchucks ready, Meiling marches towards me.
Whi- whish, whishwhishwhish- woosh, whish! She shows off by twirlin' them around herself and behind her back and all around!
...Well, she's still taking it kinda easy, so I just kinda walk towards her, and-
WHAKRACK! thud. Oo-... ow. Wh-... what even hit me? Holy fuck.
I'm on the floor- and that's hardly the part that matters!
"Oo- oh…!" Meiling cringes back a little! "Uuh…"
...Holy shit- my jaw is like numb. Wohohow!
I get up, semi-awkwardly, semi-sheepishly feeling at my jaw. How weirdly cringe!
Since I got up, she smiles! "You good!?"
"Gh- good enough!" Yeah- I'll feel that later! "Fuckin'-..."
The moment I get near Meiling, she resumes activity, and I see just what had hit me.
WOOSH! WOOSH! WOOSH! WOOSH! She slings the nunchucks up before herself nearly constantly, creating a barrier I just- can't- get through.
Every time she flicks the pair up, one nunchuck slings behind the arm she used. Using her other arm to reach underhand, she claims it and flicks it up again, before using the previous arm to reach underhand again.
WOOSH! WOOSH! WOOSH! WOOSH! She swings 'em so hard it kicks up fucking wind. Snow is parting from her she's swinging 'em so hard!
"Duck fast!" She warns me! Meiling suddenly drew 'em back overhead- oh god-
WOOSH! She swung it like a fuckin' blade overhead-
"Dodge- Brad!" Meiling announces-
Swish! Snapping my boots on for an instant, I slide around her side-
"Hyah!" Meiling kicks at the air where I was, the nunchucks tucked into one of her armpits.
Ooh. She's open!
Coming up with my hanger, I~...
WHACK! My hanger scrapes up across her face, accidentally clipping her right boob as I swing it up.
WHAM! Flailing it outward, I club her in the side of her head! "Nnn." She grins, eating the impact like it's nothing, but doesn't act, allowing me to continue.
Whack! I scrape the hanger up along her face.
WHACK! With that same arm- I fuckin' deck her with it with another outward blow.
I let the hanger come back behind the arm I used ta swing it. This is important!
Since it's danglin' back like that, I claim it underhand by using my free arm to steal it from the middle!
WHACK! Then I ram it across Meiling's chin again!
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Rapidly, whenever I swing, I fix my free arm behind the swinging arm, and I perpetually unleash swing after swing at 'er!
God- this hurts to do. It's exhausting as fuck. Just- moving my arms back and forth.
Of course, since the hanger is obviously not nunchucks, this isn't nearly as graceful as it could be. Meiling's tanking every hit, and I think I'm exhaling more air than I'm potentially kicking up with this attack.
"Hyehe- ha~h!" Beaming wildly, I tuck the hanger under an armpit, and-
Whap. I- I clumsily kick my leg into Meiling!
"Oohn!" Aa-... huh.
She very obviously fakes being launched, floating back into the air and hanging in the midst of a backflip very intentionally.
crunch. She perfectly lands in the snow after her backflip. "Alright, you're gettin' somewhere. Hey, Brad. Duck."
Duck? Well- shit- sure!
I duck.
woosh, woosh. Meiling leaps into the air, whirling her nunchucks around like a tornado. Ooh- she's doing that crazy revolving attack that cut through a fairy-
Wait I didn't duck enough she meant really low-
WHAKRACK!
I end up face-first in the snow.
"Uum…!" Ha-chan's voice is distant!
"Oo- oh, shit…" Meiling is audible! "I-... okay, good, I hit your shoulder."
"You- you know…" I weakly crawl outta my snow crater! "Is- isn't this a little unsafe…!?"
"Hell yeah!" Meiling nods a bunch! "We're sparring, man. I might be takin' it easy to let you learn from example- but this is still a fight. I could knock you out if you aren't careful. I'm just usin' a bunch of basic techniques and seeing what you make of 'em."
...Hu~h.
I don't want a concussion- so I guess I'll give 'er my all, or something!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====
There truly is nothing quite like the scent of freshly baked bread.
The soft loaf rests on the tray, and Maria stands proud of her creation.
"...Alright." I look up from my notebook. I also take off this pair of gag glasses Maria got me. You see, when we got the notebook- it's a long story…
Still. Bread is one of the most simple recipes, so this was a good place to start. Not all that difficult, either. Although, preserving the ingredients properly… may prove challenging. Brad really should've bought one of those… 'fridges'. Even if my cave is cold, it is eternally freezing. Room temperature is freezing. Food cannot thaw, only be cooked.
I'm mostly worried about the yeast. It may die in my home. Perhaps fridge wouldn't be a good device, actually. Perhaps it would be some kind of… temperature-regulated box. Or, something. I'm not entirely sure. Maybe we'll need a warm kitchen room somewhere.
Homemaking is actually quite difficult.
"If your cave's not conducive to cooking stuff, you can always come here." Maria tells me… "You might have to like… still take it back home, but you won't have to worry about the yeast freezing and dying and stuff."
"...I'm still in mild awe that we use microbial life for cooking." I suppose cooking, magic and alchemy are awkwardly related to one another, but even so, the fact that yeast is what it is… is very interesting to me.
I know so little about science. Brad and Maria really make me feel quite simple at times. Only burying myself in my same books, ignorant to the vast outside technology, and to the finer nuances of magic crafting, cooking, or… well, the sciences behind such things.
"Yeah, me too." Maria does, however, agree with me. "Yeast is weird. I don't know how anyone figured out anything. I'm glad they did though…"
Well, that can be agreed upon, surely.
"Considering how much Brad talks about loaves, he'll surely enjoy this." He'd better. A nice, fluffy loaf should not only feed him, but also garner perhaps undeserved adoration.
...Also. "I get this feeling he's not at home."
Maria looks quite cute… and clueless. "What do you mean? He was relaxed yesterday, right?"
"Exactly." I can't help but wonder… if he was just biding his energy, or something. We did get quite excited yesterday, however. Perhaps he's resting from that. Or…
Hmm. We'll find out. It's not like him to just not say anything to us.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
"Yeeha~w!"
Doin' a three-sixty rotation horizontally in the air-
Wha- WHACK! The heels of my gravity boots meet Meiling in the face!
Rotating around mid-air off my heel's impact, I swing my hanger right fer her face-
"Hy- ah!" Meiling cleaves the wooden bokken down oh shit-
CLACK! Oh- ooo~! We parried! My circular slice a' my hanger met the fuckin' bokken-ass- bokken dead in the center…!
Meiling's eyes flared in vague surprise! "...You're so lucky."
"Yeah man!" Yeah- I deserved this parry! I was just throwing shit out- I didn't actually mean to do it!
Clack! Meiling shoves me away, and we- oh god-
Woosh! Oh- holy shit. I slid back, away from Meiling's downward cleave! "Nope!" Ooh!
I shwing my hanger back! "More!" Here Meiling have more-
The moment I swing- she's already got her bokken back on her shoulder.
WHA- THOOM. Before I hit her, she cleaves the bokken straight down. Like, in just a few frames. Onta- into-me.
THUD. Did you ever wonder, what it'd be like, to live life with legs that didn't resist the force of the air bearing down on you?
Well, here's my chance- 'cause the column of force that was Meiling's cleave just fuckin' crumpled me ahahaha-
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====
With the loaf wrapped, ready to be delivered home, Sally also gives me a small package of cookies. "As much as it pained me to… I visited the square today, and picked up some baked goods. I bought a bunch, not just so I can… gauge the competition, but so you can take some back as well."
"Oh… thank you." I accept the gift basket she's prepared… "You didn't have to do this."
Sally rolled her eyes. "Oh, people say that too often. Not to be rude. If I had a cookie for every time I'd heard that, I'd own a cookie business."
"Which you kinda do. Er, did." Maria notes helpfully, beside us…
"Well." Um. "I'm sure Brad will appreciate the gifts…"
"Consider it my Christmas present." Sally winks at me. How-... strangely charismatic. Her haircut, despite being tangential to Maria's, is… weirdly more mature? Perhaps even more English. Her hair is a little thinner, less fluffy.
...I suppose, where Maria is 'cute', her mother is 'mature'. I know no better way to describe it. I'd use myself as comparison, but Brad calls me both mature and cute, so I don't really know…
Well. Brad will have things to eat tonight, for once. I will not let him starve so readily again. Not in our-... household? It's not quite a house.
Our home, yes. It's a home. That can be agreed on.
"Thanks, mom." Maria thanked her mother for me.
...Sally gives her a strange but soft look. "Ma- Maria, you're-... we gave the thing to her. We gave the gift…!"
Maria nods. "Yeah, but Genkan's too quiet to say it directly." ...That's fairly accurate.
creak. I open the front door telekinetically, ready to move.
...A fluffle enters, now allowed passage.
"stop" It comes up to me, and holds onto my ankle with its fins. "be quiet for several days"
...Rarely do they offer anything of substance, but that is a quote I think I will be stealing.
"...I'm still in slightly baffled awe, that these things have more or less arbitrarily invaded the world." Sally contests a question that used to be asked, but isn't anymore. "These fluffles, I mean."
"Fluffle." Maria said.
...I suppose she simply felt like saying it, but I'm in mild awe how little meaning a single breath can contain while still technically being language.
Experimentally, I move my leg. The fluffle has bound itself to my ankle.
"I will be quiet for several days." I lie to the fluffle. "Please let go."
...It very gently gnaws on my leg with its shell. Okay.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Dual-wieldin' hangers, I defend with 'em-
WHAKAK! KLACK! Meiling smashes two freakin' sticks against my sides at the same time- but I use my hangers to at least deflect the blows. She's going way weaker than she would be normally, I can tell!
WHAWHAM! Spinnin' around, I clobber 'er in the face with both hangers!
BAM! Uhf! She- kicked me-... and I didn't see it coming 'cause of the spin attack I did.
Thud! Rolling around on the floor- I uh… oof. Ow. Like a stormtrooper in Battlefront 2 classic, I just kinda splay out on the ground, dead! Ow! "Arrrgh!" I decide to arbitrarily death-yell like one too!
Meiling briefly brushed her own cheek with one a' her wrists. There wasn't even a mark where I struck 'er. "...I think double-handed is gonna be yer big weakness. Y'need all the strength you can get. Dividing it'll be rough."
Yeah- she can move two a' anything with effortless ease- but the lag on my moves goes up like twice with two things out!
"Maybe-... maybe if I did the magic thing wit' two things out." S'not like I got any real dual-handed loadouts at the moment, aside from my twin devastator NERF guns, which are, y'know… magic weapons primarily!
"Well, yeah." Meiling waves off my logic, 'cause it's not exactly the point of her thinking! "Alright. You can kinda guard... you got a string of attacks, albeit predictable… y'can kind of evade."
Steppin' back, Meiling had her lips pursed… "I'd spar with ya straight-up… but honestly, if I kept it fair, things wouldn't go differently from what we've been doing. So maybe~..."
Looking around, she searched the gate before the mansion, before stoppin' her gaze on Ha-chan.
"Oh!" An' then Meiling perked up! "I know!"
I wonder. If I'd used my telekinetic powers, would dual-wielding hangers for physical attacks be more viable…?
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...Meiling places both arms on Komi's shoulders!
Komi's glaring at me from across the front courtyard a' the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
We've torn a second stock plant hanger off the wall- so that the fight can be 'fair'! Right now, I just got that one dream plant hanger, and just- this stock, plain hanger.
After giving Komi some like, psychic massage, Meiling moves between the both a' us. "Alright. Keep it clean enough, yeah? No cunt or dick shots, no eye shots. Anything else goes."
Komi has her arms folded. "I'm still upset. Brad."
I move my neck inta neck-crackin' motions, and-
cr- crack. Yeehaw! That was slightly uncomfortable! "Over what now…!?"
"You've denied me my popularity for too long." Komi means business!
Slap! Aw, yeah! Now she's got a riding crop! She slaps it down into an open palm all of a sudden!
"Even if you get away from me again today… I'm going to humiliate you. Whatever I do- you're going to see things my way!"
Aw. "No." I disagree!
Komi's expression flares!
"Fight!" Meiling declares!
Instantly, Komi starts marchin' closer, her maid shoes crunchin' through the light layer of snow that's been laid on the stone path between us.
...That's when I like, have an idea.
"Take me seriously." Komi is really indignant about things! "You don't have your snow cow with you now. Nor that smartass human.
"If you get down on your knees and beg, I might find a use for you."
...As she approaches, monologuing- I run at 'er!
Komi braces herself- and I toss my left hand's black hanger at her.
She floats, gettin' outta the way- but focusing my magic, I make it keep goin' after her! It's homing now son!
Whunk! Coming at her from her side, it weakly bumps off her ribs. "Ngh-"
Running ahead, I move to get under her.
Click! Click! My boots flick on for just a few frames, allowing me to jolt into the air.
Fwiish! Dropping into an ass slide as I pass under her, I hold my arms out to catch the falling hanger.
Clack! Clumsily, I reclaim said hanger! "Ooh-"
Whoom! Komi drops down to the floor to try and attack me, but I just barely got behind her. I- I slid less than I expected, but whatever!
"Nnn-" Annoyed, Komi pivots around as I spring back up! "I've got you now!"
WHACK! Oh- fuck! Protip: riding crops hurt! She hit me across the fuckin' face! "Ah- hh-" Hissing, I step back.
whish! She misses her next outward swipe. "Hyah! Hy-"
Fwish! Snow kicks up- as I oscillate the toggle on my gravity boots. Sliding on my heels in a C-shaped motion, I end up behind her.
WHACK! WHAM! Jabbing my left hanger into her gut, I bring my right down on her shoulder; it was meant for the back of her head, but-
"Fuck!" Ooh she's mad! "Fucker! Fh-"
Fwish! When she whirls back around- I slide around her again, right past her face!
THINK! As we pass stares, I slam my hanger across her head.
"Ghnhg-" She reels to the side I hit her, holding where I struck.
...Aw. Wait.
I think I see it. I see something I can do from here. My adrenaline flares a little, and I know what must be done.
When Komi's done reeling, she grips her riding crop tighter, and yells. "Fucking- loser!" Holy shit- she's gone sicko mode!
FWAM! Four black orbs of danmaku shoot out from around her, but pass me uselessly, revolving outward.
WHACK! When she swings her right arm down to strike me, I swing my left arm's hanger into her forearm, deflecting the attack.
WHAM! My right arm's hanger beats against her gut, and she staggers back.
I have-... successfully held my position!
This time, she throws herself at me! "Hrrgh- aah!" Just like, a tackle.
WHUNK! My left hand's hanger's thrust right into her gut, and-
WHACK! I bring my right arm's hanger down on her head.
WHAM! Then, another blow of my left hanger upside her chin.
Stumbling back again, she winces from pain. "Hh- hh…" Hissing her anger and agony, her eyes start to tear up.
Black starts to spread across her body…! "You-... you fucking loser~!"
WOASH! She roars towards me- and my body just acts on instinct-
With both arms, I swing both hangers inwards, crossing 'em by crossin' my forearms.
WHAKRACK. Both hangers met at either side of her head. Her eyes screw up in an instant, disoriented an' pained.
Komi staggers back, her body crackling with unspent energy…
FWAM! Oo- oh! Three danmaku orbs exit her from the right, and just linearly trail off!
She just drops onto her knees, holding her head. "Nn-... nn-..."
...Did- did I just win. Did I actually just kick her ass, no magic-... well, boots aside, and that one telekinetic thing I did aside-...
Did I actually just mostly fairly compare with a single fairy? Holy shit…
"It-..." Komi just starts crying…! "Hh-... it's-... not fair…"
Uh oh. "Hh-... hh-..." She starts sobbing openly! "Nn- ngh…"
Y'know, I think that's it for the fight! I do feel like I've actually gotten better though!
Still feeling at the sides of her head, she looks up at me all teary-eyed. "You-... you fucking jerk…" She sits on her legs, knees on the floor, and just kinda cries it out. "Fuck you…"
...It's somewhat good, ta feel like I've passed a certain threshold! But, uh...
"You-..." Swallowing her saliva, she looks up at me. "Fine… I give up..."
...Oo- oh.
Komi bows, arms on the floor, face towards the snowy ground. "I-... I give up."
Well. I- I dunno what ta do from here. I don't like, win fights straight-up typically…!
"Be-... be my master." Wait- hol' up now!
Raising from her bow, Komi looked up at me expectantly!
...I hold my arms out! I also look at Meiling!
Meiling just kinda grins and shrugs! Whaddaya mean 'whaddaya mean'...!?
"Aa- and you better not turn me down!" Komi yells from the floor!
I continue to hold my arms out! "Son, basically every time I've ever fought you is in self-defense!"
Komi pouts. Y'know, when she's crying, she's actually like-... cute. Not that she's not a looker by default, but y'know, I no longer think 'danger' when I see her!
"I thought I was better than you." Komi frowns! "But-... if I'm not, and… and no one even looks up to me anymore…"
Closin' her eyes, she shakes her head, and does the big bow again. "I'm joining you!"
"Son- no." The party has reached maximum capacity! "We already got like, four people!"
"You can't turn me down!" Komi insists! "I-... I'll do whatever you want! Li- like-"
"An' what I want ya ta do is not become stalker fairy: two!" Ha-chan is a handful already, and she's an actually good person!
"I- I'll hold your shit!" Komi- that's the last thing I need! "I-... I'll let you fu- fuck me." That's the even laster thing I need! The most lastest thing needed! "Just- let me follow you."
Y'know… "I don't even remember fairies bein' like this before. So-... do ya got like, a reason you wanna follow me?"
...Komi sighs, and glares up at me. "Because you're-... obviously… be- better, at-... being popular, than me. And- I want-... I need power. No one takes me seriously anymore. If I could've beaten you, you would've seen things my way. You would've made me popular."
Standing up, Komi nurses herself a little more- before putting her hands on mine, an' bringing them together! "Please. I'll call you anything you want. I'll let you and your- gi- girlfriend beat me up. Just- come on."
...I- I feel like your priorities are uh, not good! Very misaligned…!
click, click. She experimentally clicks my hangers that I'm still holdin' together. Her grey eyes meet mine! "I- I can't be any worse than that fucking-... Hana, tha- that was her name. Can't I just take her place?"
"No…!" She really does not understand how this works! "Komi- y'see-..."
...I take her hands offa my hangers by pullin' 'em back! "No one I know actually gives a shit about being popular!" I mean- I guess if I only lived in the mansion with the fairies exclusively it'd be a thing maybe but I don't think I'd personally even care-
"It- it's not just that." Komi contests! "You're powerful! Being popular's just a side-effect. The weak fear the strong."
Well. "I mean- getting more powerful… I mean, it ain't everything."
Komi gives me a big frown! "Yes, it is."
"But- no…!?" No I don't think so…!?
"You could take me somewhere- and fuck me!" Komi pouts at me fer some reason! "You couldn't have done that if you weren't powerful!"
"Yeah- and I only wanted power to defend me from you!" That's like, the big point! "Otherwise I wouldn't need it!"
"And if you just kissed my ass and- and listened to me and followed me around- maybe I wouldn't need power either!" Komi yells back at me!
...Y'know, I dunno if there's even any arguing with her. She seems determined to be entitled about-... my presence…!?
"Okay- but why me?" I pat myself! "I'm like-... some dude!"
Komi huffs. "I- I don't know! You just-..."
Wait. Wait, I'm stupid. Didn't I meet with that big ass fairy in the sky? And-
Fwish! I can't believe I only remembered these fairy wing things I can shoot out 'cause I can use them for practical jokes! I like, forgot the real reason I had 'em!
"What the fuck." Pft… Ko- Komi was taken off-guard! "Are-..."
Her eyes light up! "That's why! You're a fairy too! A male fairy!" Oh god.
"No~!" I am not!
"But- you-..." Komi shook her head, and narrowed her eyes. "Prove me wrong. I saw the wings. You're a fairy."
...Y'know- alright. "Well, okay, for the sake of argument, what if I was…!?" Wait.
Komi grabs onto my hands again! "Then- we can be together! Fuck that human! And that snow whore!"
Son. "Me and you is not a do! No go! Me no see no no!"
click, click, click! She clicks my hangers together again, this time angrily! "I-... my boobs might not be as big- but I- I know a lot about-... sex…"
Wait- question, before it slips my mind again. "Are there other male fairies?"
...Komi takes pause, before nodding. "I mean-... there aren't many. Don't ask why. The mansion doesn't have any. That's why… that's why we'd be perfect." She begins to leer! "Don't you see? A couple like us would be all-powerful…"
I- pull my hands outta hers again! "Pro~bably not, no!"
...Narrowin' her eyes again, she sighs. Awh.
"Fuck…" She holds where I hit her on the right a' her head again! "If-... if I don't join you though, I'm worthless…"
Well. Hmm.
Aw. Idea.
"Y'should talk to Patchouli 'bout some summonin' business!" Aw yeah! "Tell 'er Brad sent ya!" Komi should make for a-... questionably useful early-game summon!
...Komi nods. "I see. Of course, you'd be even that popular now. I'd expect nothing less of my master." I'm not your master! "So… you're gonna fuck me. You only want me around for that. You'll summon me for sex, and dispel me when you're done. I see."
"What's with you and sex…!?" My horny energy in public is vastly reduced because Genkan! Just-... Genkan! "You also entirely came up with that idea on your own!" I like… didn't even participate in that idea!
"Don't act coy." That better not have been to reference yer friend's name I swear ta fuck- "You wanted to fuck me the moment we met."
True, but also, no longer true! "Yeah, past tense! S'a bit late fer that!"
"Oh, whatever." Komi waves me off. "Fine. So, your first order… is that I get acquainted with mistress Patchouli. That's it?"
"Fer summonin' an' shit, yeah." Just to make sure she don't just forget…
"Mmm. 'Kay." Hoh. "...When will you summon me?" Freakin'...
"Questions will be answered later…!"
...Why's Meiling given' me that smug look she likes to adopt occasionally? Aah, I totally know why. Y'know, admittedly, this's all been really weird!
"Fine…" Komi shook her head, and began to tiredly stagger off. "Mmh-... just- remember to summon me, okay?"
"Yeah- sure!" She really wants to be summoned, apparently!
With that, the very strange encounter concludes as she leaves!
...Me and Meiling make eye contact.
"She fancied ya, 'parently…" Meiling nods at her own deduction. "Fairies're so cute sometimes, aren't they?"
Yeah- cute, but like-... she was notably demented when it came ta some ideas! "Some of her-... ideas were a little unhealthy!"
"Mmm. Yeah." Meiling nods again. "She wouldn't be feelin' that way if it weren't for those fairy marks on your back. That mark ain't given to just anyone."
Ah yes, Meiling knows. "I'm gay."
"That's not what they mean…!" Meiling grins! "But… mmm. The vague vibe ya got from her was 'cause even she didn't know why she wanted to jump ya. Her body just yelled at her that it was the right idea. And considerin' her obsession with being dominant, if she couldn't control that, she was in trouble. Really not a lot you coulda done about it."
Ho~h. "Guess not…"
Ha-chan drifts up from the scenery, holding some snow. "...I can hold snow now!" Ah yeah, she's got the crown thing on that staves off some a' the cold.
It's pro'lly interesting to note that Ha-chan seems to attempt to find logic in her undying urge to stalk me, meanwhile it seems like other fairies just attack me or go nuts. Case in point: Komi…!
"At the same time, all the fairies in the mansion're more sexy than normal, so it could be that Komi just actually thinks yer hot." Meiling shrugs! "She's one of the fairies that came with us from Europe. Maybe she's inta italians." Wh- I'm not even that italian!
To prove my point, I wave my arms outward grandly, to be incredulous!
"How italian are ya, actually?" Meiling asks an actually vaguely mundane question…
Y'know… "I have no fucking clue."
Meiling snorts pitifully! "Oo- oh."
"I'm like, parts italian, maybe hungarian, my mom was irish-... ish, and maybe there's some german?" I honestly don't know anymore! "An' considering my extended family, I never will, so I guess I'm just 'American' now!"
You know, this is surreal. Last time I was legitimately having this discussion, it was with someone at my school. Now I'm in front of a mansion talking to an exotic gatekeeper martial artist!
...After considering it, Meiling shrugs. "Eeh. Yeah. That's the way most see it out here. Fer better or worse. Actually… before ya shacked up with Genkan, didja get many chicks?"
"Uuh. No." Notably! "Not that I really tried!"
"Aww." Meiling shook her head. "I've always heard- being here in this mansion and havin' been in Europe some time-... that Japanese women're a lot more intrigued by even common American men."
Cut to Genkan molesting me despite me not being a hallmark of masculinity! "Mmm, maybe." I'd say I saw it at the Golden Grin, but that Eire chick wasn't only into 'Muricans. She wanted to get laid by literally anyone… and was also western herself. "Maybe."
"Mmm…" Meiling nods. "Well. Fer a first session, ya've done pretty nice. Nothin' like an actual threat to get the blood boilin', huh?"
"You have left me with at least twelve bruises." I'm adequately fucked up to the point that I'll actually do daring maneuvers and not bother to feel at my select few injuries!
"Try thirty." Meiling beams! "Ooh, don't go whinin'. Y'might need that thicker skin!"
Aw. And-
"An' don't go thinkin' about health potions just yet." Meiling immediately knows what I was gonna do. "Let the muscles build on their own. Y'heal off everything, you'll be as squishy as Patchouli, even in spite a' exercise. Just wastin' time like a big dumbass."
Oh. "So I should go collapse in my cave," and let Genkan gently press me repeatedly.
Meiling nods! "Yeah, heal it off normally. ...Not that you've like, sustained serious injuries or anything. Just got the adrenaline pumpin'. You, uh, might feel it in the morning, though." Aw. That sounds fun, ironically! I'll get to be half-dead around Genkan.
...What else did I plan to do today?
fwish. Ha-chan deposits her pile of snow onto the floor. She's done all she needs to do with it, dude.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Well, I still gotta go visit Kiyoko's tomb, to see if the letter Reimu gave me will work! And uh, I do gotta check and see how the S.S. BONER-palooza is doin'.
Hmm. Maybe I'll check back on that at a later date. I imagine the machinations I set forth to assemble it aren't being totally retarded! I'm gonna put my faith in Stormy and the kappa he selects for that!
Aw. I just realized, all my bruises will make the talk with Kiyoko all that much more convincing!
...In retrospect, the boat's not gonna need a live band probably, not if I can just hook a computer up to the speakers, but it'll be good to be able to do that for the future! Have a band on the thing, I mean.
Since, y'know, overall getting into the garage isn't that difficult, the first thing I'm gonna do is confront the big miko.
"Mmm…" Ha-chan spins around in the air beside me fer no reason! "Where are we go~ing…?"
"To the village!" Yeah man! "We gotta~... pick up some milk, dude."
Speaking of which, we're just about there! Aw…
Adjustin' my camouflage kimono, I put on the officer cap ta look official. Y'know, the evil nazi one.
Wait. Actually, yeah.
Fwi- Click! Before we really get into big range of the village, I put on my officer's coat. Now I'm official, dude.
Bringing my arms behind my back, I hold my chin up and look dour as I approach the village's gate…
The guard standin' there notices us stroll on up- me the big serious man, and my fairy friend here!
"Good day." I speak! ...An' also clear my through. "Mh- hrm. Good day, guardsman."
...The dude just kinda stares at me! "I~... good day?"
woosh. A wind cuts through us- and goddamn that shit's cold! The pain of not having the right resistance on…!
Kra- kroom. Wha- oh. Aw. Dude. It's thundersnow.
"Oo- ooh…" Ha-chan lands firmly, and looks gently opposed to the sky…
Face firm, I nod at the guard, and re-adjust my hat. "Lovely weather we're having…" Man- serious flat voices are hard to do sometimes… it might not matter here, at least.
"Fuckin'... tell me 'bout it." The guy shakes his head. "Hol' on. I'm headin' in ta break- for a break- anyway. You just uh… yeah."
Aw, yes. No questions even asked. I frowned at him hard enough fer him to open the gate!
Ka- klank, klank, klank. Oh, wait. The gate's being opened from the inside.
"Oh…" The guard pauses, grinning at me. "Sweet."
...Y'know, this is the first time this's like ever happened to me! That's kinda surprising! Aa-
Genkan drifts out of the gate, on her way out of the village.
My arms behind my back. I struggle to hold a straight face as I move to pass by her.
...Then, Genkan doubles back just as we pass! "You can't fool me, Brad." Uh oh. "Did you really think your face wouldn't give you away?"
My serious demeanor snaps! "Son- I'm tryin'a sneaker on in! The dude outside thinks I'm a hardass…!" Ooh-... oh, he just went ahead inside past us, without stoppin' to even check up on us.
She smiles back at me! "You-... ah. Here."
She pulls me inside the gate- oh right.
THUNK. The gate slammed down behind us! The guy holdin' it up just let it go.
...Ha-chan was trapped on the other side! "Hey- wait!"
"...You know." Genkan sizes me up. "The hat's too… government-esque for my liking, but the suit looks good on you."
Aw. "Da- does it now…?"
"Mmm." She nods! "...The top makes you look comically bulky from some angles. But, the pants…" She circles me! "You should wear more pants."
Raisin' my hat off my head, she feels at my hair. "We need to buy you some beauty products. Smooth down this hair some."
"Do not turn me into Vergil, Nishiki, or any other slick-haired slickin' slicker…!" I must object to the symbolic slick hair of the negative character arc!
"...That is true. Your curly, wild hair is a unique look too." Genkan agrees despite having interpreted something entirely different from my nonsense objection! "Your wild look can be nice, but I'm curious how you'd look as someone… sharper. More formal. More edge, perhaps."
"I like to, overall, have less edges!" I communicate! "...But I am down fer dressin' up." If it was only temporary, I dunno yo, ho ho ho…
"Something for the future." Genkan looks easy. "...Oh, here." She holds up this little basket she has! "Maria and her mother helped me learn how to make bread. We've prepared you a loaf." Oh my god. "They've also given us some cookies for the road."
Aw~. "That's-..." I dunno what to say, actually! "That's cool!"
...Genkan gives me a flat look! "That phrase seems, for some reason, to not quite line up. Is that what you say whenever you get a gift?"
I hold my arms out! "Very seldom have I been expected to react to an act of generosity like this!"
She snorts! "...That's unfortunate. Regardless, we should go home and enjoy it. Before it becomes cold and hardened. It's wrapped for now… but, there's nothing like warm bread."
Daah. "...I mean! Hmm." I am both in the middle of something, but also, good bread, and also I think Genkan would whump me if I said no! "I'd suggest a picnic table somewhere or somethin', but the village ain't really uuh… hospitable, is it?"
Then again, I can find and harass Kiyoko's tomb whenever, it's not like it's going anywhere.
"I mean, if you took that stupid-... ice platform we made back to the village, a roundtrip wouldn't take awhile." Aah. Y'know, that's true. "On that note, I have an idea." Oo- oh. Genkan has an idea. "Brad. Come with me."
She pulls on my hand- and I have no choice but ta follow!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
whi~sh. Whishish- woosh! The snow and wind howls, and all of Gensokyo is overlaid by dim white, grey, and a vague blue aura laid down by the aether above.
Sitting on the massive, thin ice bridge, me and Genkan behold the world below.
Between the icy fog, the howling wind, and the winter lights casting the shimmering woods below in an ethereal aura… man.
Genkan's frozen the goodie basket into place on the ice bridge, as well as the cloth placed over it.
"We truly are Terraria." I nod. However, Genkan is too busy snacking along to object.
"Mmn…" Ha-chan digs into a big cookie from the basket! "Mmm…"
I'm in my kimono, because yes. But, aw…
This bread's really warm. And, even though it's just plain bread… I don't know. It's really, really good. Warm, somehow just- quite flavorful. Really whole.
"...I- I see why Maria and her family are bakers." Genkan is also impressed! "This is really nice."
Aw, yeah. "This is why we eat foods instead of each other! Food's good, people aren't!"
...After a brief, windy pause, Genkan's silent chuckling builds. "You- you're a hypocrite. You neglect to eat all the time. If you thought food was so good, you'd eat it."
Yeehaw! "Admittedly, my interests are kinda limited! When it comes ta food!" My parents: not good cooks.
"Why is that?" Genkan asks! "Is there a reason? I know you keep busy in Gensokyo, but on the outside, you… didn't live similarly. Since you were stationary, you had to eat something, right?"
Ho~h. Well…
"We lived in America." I preface. "Which I've told you, yeah. But it's significant! 'Cause America's food culture… is shit."
...Genkan is curious! "A bold statement. How so?"
"So, since we're all about expansion, instead of town square markets, we got supermarkets." ...That- that might sound like a joke, now that I think about it! "They're really called supermarkets! They hold a little a' everything, but mostly food. They're everywhere, stocked all the damn time, some run twenty-four-seven, and… they're really different."
"How do individuals sell their goods?" Genkan wonders… "Do that many people make food? Does every town support themselves? Or…?"
Yes and no! "They could, but there's not much money in that anymore. No one likes to buy local unless they just can't buy from a supermarket. Nah, instead, big ass factories mass produce shit. Stuff that's just salt an' sugar. Processed ta the point of, y'know, not having anything to them anymore, other than that."
Genkan nods. "You did say bakery was a lost art."
Something like that! Not exactly lost, but not the top a' the food chain anymore.
Wait, yeah. "Y'know those chip bags we've eaten? Yeah, that, except imagine people forgetting stuff on par wit' that ain't exactly a full course. That's replaced baking."
Aw. "And half of that stuff they say is good for you, isn't! Which a little research would reveal it's not, but a little is too much for some people. They're kinda just allowed to lie, low-key."
Genkan purses her lips! "Low key? ...Funny manner of expression. I get the emotion you're putting forward when you say it, but I don't think that combination of words on its own makes sense."
Yeehaw! "Welcome to how languages mutate!"
Genkan opened her mouth, before shaking her head. "Maybe English is simply weirder than I thought…"
Oh, right, we're working on two different planes of dialect. Woohoo!
Aw, yeah. "An' don't get me started on the people. Y'see, my parents had very skewed tastes. 'Cause their parents, even if they understood nutrition, didn't bother ta impart any a' that knowledge.
"They treated food time as a cornerstone of discipline. Pro'lly 'cause the dad- my grandpa- lived like that. So no one just went and passed down their arts. They just didn't care. Obedience meant more."
"...Hmm." Genkan was somewhat sobered. "Do you have anything good to say about the outside?"
Yeehaw! "Yeah, I'm nothin' but a ball of negativity when it comes ta it, aren't I!?"
"It's really something, because you make an effort to be jovial normally." Genkan reaffirms the premise! Except- actually. "But, there's no 'grass is always greener' effect with you, seemingly. When you look back, it's all venom."
I mean…
You know what? "Honestly, I'm sick of talking about it too. Now might not be the time for it!"
That's a sentiment I never thought I'd feel, but y'know… we're eatin' and hanging out, havin' a good ol' time. I can mope about the outside in the most efficient way when it's just me and Genkan having pillow talk or something.
...After a short silence, Genkan gives me a smile.
I stare back at her, while she just smiles at me!
"Well…" Genkan shakes her head. "At least you're more happy now."
whish- WHISH! Genkan narrows her eyes, as the wind attacks us! We're kinda high up, and it's stormy, so y'know…!
"Ye- yeah…!" I yell over the powerful wind! "It is~…! Fun- I mean!" That is not the thought I was going for, but the wind forced me to pick a direction and stick with it!
"Wha~t…!?" Genkan yells over the wind!
...Aw. But eventually it calms down.
"I do have a lotta more fun in Gensokyo!" I reiterate!
...Ho~h. I- I like how we have to take small pieces of bread from the basket. If we take big pieces at once, between bites the wind will fucking freeze the piece we took out. Yeehaw!
"I've also grown tired of being sad." Genkan declared. "I'd imagine you've always been tired of it."
Yeah. I mean…
I've always been the sort ta take problems in stride.
Even socially-blind numbnuts can seem wise if they're just apathetic to things that'd make others outraged. Apathy's just the first step towards objectivity and truth, sometimes.
But anyway, "it might be easy to die here, but I can at least be someone. I can at least know people. It's a lot harder for the world to drag anything apart here- except with just death. Gensokyo's small. Real small. But I'd call it cozy, more like."
The outside? It's a certain sorta situation. Everything is static. It's also so large that it's very lonely. Even the wisest people I've known on the outside have had very self-interested, limited scopes, because they can't trust any setting.
You're not expected to get too comfy, ever. I don't like that.
But some people do. Some people haven't- and won't ever- experience the kinda things I do. The idea drives me up the wall a little, but when I think about it, it's just how it be.
Some people are careless like that.
When I call someone 'careless', I mean they can't see the invisible social rules other people sorta set up. Like, if I was totally numb to the weird party dynamic me, Maria and Genkan have set up. No one's said we had to gather like that, or that that's how it has to be, but… we decided it.
If one of us suddenly treated it like it didn't exist, or like they never saw it, I'd call them a careless sorta person.
...How do I vocalize these ideas in a few breaths to Genkan? Hmm. I'll hold onta them fer now, I guess. Maybe, at some point, I'll refine those ideas down, or context will permit it.
We continue to consume bread. Ooh. Wait.
I just got a really bad idea. But, I'm gonna wait a moment. Maybe I can segue into it!
Man. The glittery forest below looks really good with all a' this ice and snow. It's like we're in the midst of an animated Windows desktop background.
Genkan speaks amidst the aether. "I tire of my-... of the negativity of my sisters. It feels good to be happy."
She looks at me! "Do I simply not have the courage to take on problems the way they do?"
"Facing your problems and tackling 'em today takes a level of courage," I start, "but knowing when to quit and let life chill for a bit is good too. There's bravery, then there's bein' stupid. Not every problem has to be the problem of today. Especially where society's involved. Stuff takes time to happen."
...Genkan seems to pause at that answer. "That's... mildly profound."
Only mildly! "Whaddaya mean it's not utterly profound…!?"
...Genkan curls her brows an' purses her lips! "Uu- utterly?" I'm glad she found that word as baffling as I did!
Man, yo. Utterly profound, dude.
But more on-topic! "Yeah- anyway! There's some problems that can't be left alone… but waitin' for a good answer to pop up, or for a workaround, is far wiser than startin' a scene for no good reason."
Genkan interjects. "That may be reason to you, yet it's injustice and complacency to others. The Human Village operates like so."
Hmm. I see what she means. "Morality is subjective." I propose the key argument. "On the outside, for better or worse, basically all forms of problem resolution are out of the individual's hands. The government takes care of it.
"The problem with that is, sometimes, big policy designed to be enforced on three hundred million people can get stupid. It ignores context. It can't adapt. Personal sleights mean nothin'. All offenses are judged case-by-case. An' sometimes, things get so obtuse, law favors the criminals instead of the victims.
"This doesn't just target like, youkai, obviously. Humans step all over each other in their ignorance. It's just a fact of life."
Yeah. This is why working with a lot of people at once is stupid! We really do live in a society…!
...Ho~h. Genkan seems to absorb the knowledge, but doesn't immediately say anything back.
"Brad…"
Genkan looks over at me! "How do you think I would behave? If our roles were reversed? If I, one day, ended up in your world, and you'd never come here? Assuming I wouldn't just die out from the lack of faith outside the barrier."
Aw. Fun question, but complicated! "I mean, in eight outta ten scenarios, you'd probably get killed somehow!"
"Ignoring the obtuse cruelty of the human society." Aw- but wasn't that what Genkan was interested in? "How do you think I'd behave? Would I remain as… calm as I am now?"
...Hmm. "I mean, considerin' yer calm here, probably! I dunno, maybe your cynicism would overflow and you'd be real sassy or something. It's a lot easier to take nothing seriously. Society's a game, life's a joke, and we all love ta laugh!"
"Do you think that's what's happened to you?" Genkan supposes… "Your cynicism. You seem quite aware of the prospect of death. Has that not grown?"
Well… hmm. Is she right? "Sometimes, yer probably right. But I'm also full a' energy now. With wonder. Energy! Surprise, excitement, all kindsa shit!"
"Which, the outside doesn't have." Genkan supposed. "So if I became acclimated, to being out there… in the droll nothing, and the megastructures that encompass it, would I… be who you describe? Extremely sassy and quite hopeless?"
"I mean, that's what I predicted, so I still predict it!" 'Cause like-... I dunno. Was that me? "Y'might still be tamer! More tame, I dunno...!"
"...Probably." Genkan nods peacefully. "It's probably an element of age.. All things considered, by human standards, I should be… anywhere between twenty and thirty. Normally I sleep all summer, and most of fall and spring. When it's not snowing, and I don't need sustenance, I slept often as well."
Ho~h. "Yeah. I'm kind of a little shit, so… yeah!" I say despite being six feet tall. I'm a thin shit. Yeah!
Mmn. Genkan is peaceful, dude.
"Would we still love each other?" Genkan wondered.
I mean, I guess I'd ask my question. "Would you still love me?" I ask her in return. "I'm not sayin' my love's not worth anything, but I would say… that I could see a lot of value in just about anyone. As long as they decided to be there for me."
...We thought on that. I elaborate.
"I'd be way more cynical. I might shirk some responsibility in pursuit of pleasure and fantasy that doesn't exist otherwise," I tell her. "Would you live in filth and poverty, with a guy wit' no prestige?"
"We'd be very much the same," Genkan decided. "If what the world around us valued was weak and fake, then your contrarian stance would be refreshing. I still think-... nnn.
"I know I would still love you."
...That feels good to hear.
But before we become too peaceful, she speaks. "There's only one of you. No matter what shape the world takes. Natural and magical, or organized and synthetic..."
Mmm… "Yeah. It's always surreal, thinking about alternate ways things coulda played out."
...I like how Ha-chan's shelled up to resist the oncoming wind. She's all balled up, hiding in her winter coat!
Well. The bread's just about all gone. It was a good loaf, dude.
"Aw." Aw dude. "Y'should get a load a' this!" Let's see~...
"Hmm?" Genkan looks curious! Aw, yeah!
Focusing- I do the thing where I summon the fluffle, except-...
I throw my arm outward! "Go! Komi-chan!"
Fwish! Aw- yeah! Komi has been summoned!
She appears from a splotch of black and white in space and time! "Fufufu…"
Strutting out, riding-crop in hand, she licks her black lips, and-
woosh. -plummets, straight down, because she didn't think she'd be summoned in the middle of literally fucking nothing. "Wh- aa-"
WOOSH! Oo- oh no! We're hit by a fierce gale-
"Aaaa~!" She's thrown under the ice bridge- and into the infinite glitter!
...When she meets my gaze, Genkan looks slightly intimidated, but also grins awkwardly! "You've been given too much power."
"Wahaha!" Yea~h!
She gets up! Oo- oh no- Genkan attacks! Aah!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
After I was spared from the Genkan attack, I told 'er I had some business ta finish up in the village!
"Om- mmh…" I've got a giant cookie. It's good, dude…
I'm movin' on through the village square, lookin' fer that… Nazrin. The giant rat that makes all the rules!
Headin' down the south street, I look on the right side, where Nazrin was shacked up in the alley. It's snowing hard now, and the sky's navy-black.
"It's spooky…" Ha-chan is snug, hanging close… "It's so dark."
Yeah- only some of the street lamps're actually lit. Man, yo. What an awesome village!
I think it was this alley. Yeah. Let's uuh… fuck. Man- why're all these alleys so similar. It doesn't help that every single house is the same piece of crap!
...Coming around the corner of the houses, into the alley behind them- yeah, this isn't the right alley. Aa-... oh.
"Aa-" Ha-chan freezes, except metaphorically! "Mmm~!" She holds her hands over her mouth, and screams into them!
Sekibanki's in the air, very obviously pretending to be hung from a really tall pole set up back here. I can tell it's her, 'cause that's the kinda coat she'd wear! No one else is into those gihugic collars!
"I'm spooked stiff." I walk on up ta her…! "Y'mind if I take yer boots!?"
"...Oh." Wait- who said that. Oh!
I turn left, and one a' Sekibanki's heads is there. "It's you. Of course. Too desensitized. Outsider."
Yo- hey! I hold out my arms! "Man- I like stopped fer a moment, but then I saw yer big duh- dang overcoat!" Almost called it a big dumb one- but I didn't mean dumb in a bad way so I didn't!
"We've met… not often." Sekibanki's head's givin' me an ominous but cuddly stare, dude… "How do you even recognize me that easily?"
Son. "That collar is uncontested."
"Well, scoot." The head jerks, as if to see me off! "This won't be as scary if someone sees you loitering around."
Uh oh. "Am I crampin' your style?"
"You're cramping my style." Oouh.
But, like uh… "Y'know, isn't it actually really disturbing to witness arbitrary death?"
Sekibanki: the head gives me a flat stare. "Congratulations. That's the point. Now leave, before I hit you." Uh oh.
"Wat, no." I don't wanna get beaned in the head, by a head! "Oouh."
...Oh shit- here she comes! She's comin'!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
This time, we advance down the correct alleyway! Aah…
Nazrin's not around, and the portal's not currently active. But, hmm. Maybe turning it on's easier than one would expect.
The portal itself is just this… stone gate hung up against a house. I bet they didn't get permission fer this, but I also get the feeling no one really has a say over alleyway ethic!
"It's time to open the portal with my mind…!" Let's hope it's as easy as a toggle switch I can kafiddle with somewhere! Or, something!
"Mmm…" Ha-chan emits a soft hum, looking snug.
Let's see… I focus on the door. It's just a stone doorframe with jagged, straight lines all over it. I bet that's the stuff fer the programming or something…
There's a central sphere on the tops and bottoms of the door, composed of some kinda gem. It's like, opal. I wonder…
I just push mana into that, and-
fwoash. Ooh. Either that's an 'on' button, or I just scrambled the coordinates super hard…!
"Ooh…" Ha-chan perks up! "I found a fluffle." Oh.
Turning, I see Ha-chan snug in her winter coat, holding a snow fluff like it's a small miracle.
"jelly stone" The fluffle loafs, dude.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Thankfully, the portal did not send me into the last week dimension, or a wall, or anything similar! That was just an 'on' button!
Me an' Ha-chan are also now in the angry sword dimension. Under the eternally sunny sky of the Hakurei hill an' all of that.
"I wonder…" As we stand on the stairway of ass pain, I can't help but wonder!
Lookin' into my bag… I open it wide, and stick my head inside. If I can't break anything I take out in this dimension, where does it come from?
...Oo- oh. That's- really weird.
Laying the bag on the floor-... hmm.
Cla- cla- clack. I expand it towards one a' the torii, and use some rocks to hold down two edges.
"Yeah- let's go!" And then I slide in!
Thump! Ooh. I'm ejected on the other side.
...Instead of all of my stuff being held in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it seems my mirrored repertoire is stored inside this strange dimension.
There's an old, stone tower far across the highly simplified Misty Lake that rests in the distance. From the Hakurei hill you could just barely make it out way in the distance as a random detail.
But, after havin' gone through the bag, I'm here! At said detail!
There's some very, very generously simplified ruins here.
The return-portal surface my bag took me through is just a big, mossy stone rectangle. Exactly cut, as if it was background scenery in a video game.
The platform all my mirrored stuff rests on is also simplified. It's like… an octagon but it's cut exactly, and all the moss an' stone is akin to a texture more than real architecture.
The Hakurei Barrier that encapsulates this mirrored realm blazes like a small fire in the distance past this small outpost, shimmering violently, nothing existing in the nothing past it.
When I look up, I can see that the barrier's 'center' is way in the distance. It seems like the fake barrier looks a lot more violent the farther you are from the big hill.
All of my mirrored stuff just kinda… floats in the air. Aw, there's Lion's Lindwurm.
I poke it.
Clang. Pft. It just- fell to the ground.
...Across the Misty Lake are some simple buildings, laid out across the lakeside. There's no life in the town that lines the Hakurei trail. There's probably no one else in this weird ass realm other than me and Kiyoko… and Ha-chan.
Speakin' of Ha-chan, she emerges from the wall next to me! "...Um."
"Hi." You're snug. She's back in her stock maid outfit while we're in here- and, yeah, I was put back in my blue shirt an' sweatpants!
"This place is creepy…" Ha-chan stares at the blazing barrier in the distance!
Yeah, kinda!
Dead silence. Wind doesn't rustle. The lake doesn't shimmer, or act as more than a simple blue surface in the distance.
I don't really have the heart to just jump off into the polygonal void below without my bag still on me, so… let's go back!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Secondly, I have entered the garage dimension, to see if the mirrored realm recreates that! And-... huh.
It actually is. Except, uuh, yeah.
The S.S. BONER sits atop a pile of wine racks, underground in this sealed-off room. There's a door at the other side, sealed shut by rocks. This room appears identical to the one under the SDM, lights and all, so it's probably just a recreation instead of an equivocation to somewhere in space.
Fwi- Click. Summoning the Bawmber, I am it at the rocks at the far end of the garage.
BOOM- BAM- BOOM- BOOM- BAM- BOOM! After a lot of loud violence, I actually-... extremely easily shoot through them. They crumble like cocoa puffs.
...Oh. Oh.
Past this door is a boundless, black-blue void underneath the world. Magic pulses on a seismic scale under here, feeding up into the blazing Hakurei barrier that forms a dome over the simplified realm above.
When I look up, I can see where Kiyoko stopped her illusion magic. It's the bottom of the 'baseplate' that holds the strange world!
Fwi- Click! ...One Million Revenants is not strong enough of a flashlight to see the underside of the stone and dirt above.
I turn- and Ha-chan bumps into me in the darkness!
"Ooh!" Jesus!
"Aaa~!" Ha-chan yells!
My body briefly trembles, and I stumble away from the void! "Ya spooked me!"
"You spooked me!" Ha-chan insists! "Nnn…"
Well. As interesting as this hastily designed boss dimension is, it's time to actually talk to Kiyoko!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Having Ha-chan stand far outside from the castle, I stroll on up to Kiyoko all on my lonesome.
Clad in my plain stock clothes, I gallop up to the throne, through the sun-lit hall, as if I were the most rambunctious feudal messenger ever!
...It's not until I'm well in range of her that she slowly opens her eyes ta glare at me.
I slow my gallop! "Hello, friend." Let's hope she doesn't just glare me to death…!
"Back for more?" She asks! "If you'd like to speak, make it quick. I'm already tired of your voice."
I hold my arms up! "Believe it or not, I am not here to fight!"
"Then leave." Kiyoko demands…! "Goodbye." Wat- no!
"But wait- there's more! And it's actually important!"
Kiyoko shuts her eyes, and just ignores me.
Ho~h, but she dunno dude. Reaching into my bag, I take out the letter Reimu gave me. Aw, yes, it's still here. "I- uh… I bear parchment! From the latest Hakurei shrine maiden!"
Kiyoko's eyes slowly open again. "...This better not be one of your-... aggravating attacks. If this is a joke, I'll make sure you die slowly."
...I shrug! "Yeah- this time I'm not foolin'. It's from yer, uuh…" How-... how distantly related is she and Reimu? "Distant granddaughter! I think!"
"What year is it?" Kiyoko wonders.
"Twenty-fifteen!" I give her the real world answer! "...S'almost twenty-sixteen actually." Me and Genkan are gonna sniff a fluffle on New Years.
"...A hundred years, give or take." Kiyoko nods in appreciation that time exists as a concept. "Remarkable, isn't it? Yet…"
She stops staring at the air, to glare me down again! "I doubt any daughter of mine would not execute trash like you on the spot." Oh man, she's like, from the start of the nineteenth century. Jesus Christ, this was a long time ago.
"Yeah- well, things're a bit more peaceful now." I note! ...Wait. "But we're under attack!" Yeah!
"Peaceful?" Kiyoko frowns big. "You've walked in here with mages, youkai and yourself. Gensokyo, by your mere existence alone, must be anything but."
Daah. "...Yeah- it's uh, not like I'm the one from the future or anything!"
"You're lying is why. Damned European fool." Kiyoko is angry: part twelve! "Admittedly… I hadn't anticipated how long the war would last. Raiders like yourselves finding my tomb after so long is to be expected. If only age hadn't taken my strength…"
She shook her head. "The end for us humans comes so quick. If only I'd been in charge a few years more. Even a few years more. Youkai may have finally been extinct."
...Y'know. "If you killed them all, wouldn't you be out a job?"
Kiyoko nods. "Hmh. Indeed. Such is why I deigned to fight them forever… yet, my body was not forever. As such, my blood will fight them forever.
"I simply expected one of them- of my descendents- to grow tired of my fantasy. To break free with the strength of the Hakurei clan and god. To win the war. To win Japan, perhaps. If you haven't even broken the barrier, that means you've yet to fight the empire. How is the empire, by the way? Does anyone know?"
Uuh. Oh, man, I don't actually know Japanese history that well. "I~... didn't they win? Like, super hard? It's a little difficult fer me to say. Japan's like, a modern society now. With cars, an' buildings, and a big government that does a lotta nothing very inefficiently."
...Kiyoko looks completely unable to understand! "Cars? And- I'd hope a society would have buildings."
Daah. "Also, uh, fighting Japan right now would be a bad time." I'm pretty sure!
Kiyoko snorts. "So you say. How many samurai do they have? Do their guns compare to oni?"
...Well, y'see, uuh. "I mean, yes, actually! Maybe not blow for blow, but modern sniper rifles are like… so powerful they can pierce entire steel-plated vehicles. Straight through. Also, new vehicles are kinda crazy. We got jets that can fly through the air, and rockets that explode, sorta like magic but more autistically designed, and uuh… yeah- no one's used a sword seriously in like a hundred years."
Kiyoko just kinda blinks at me.
Y'know! "If someone with a modern assault rifle went back in time to the early gun era of like, any civilization, they could probably just kill entire armies. It's that different!"
"...Interesting." Kiyoko concedes! "I suppose, I'll never truly know without seeing with my own two eyes." Yeah, probably! "You're a shitty messenger." Awh.
Well anyway! "Here's the letter! It's kind of important you read it!"
Kiyoko frowns harder. "It's not signed in blood. I can tell before I've even read it."
Oh, so that's required? Oh, okay.
I sit down. "I've got to take a huge shit."
...Kiyoko smiles. "That must be hard, when you're already a huge piece of shit." Wh- hahaha~!
Well- maybe I can make this be more convenient…! "Well, we didn't know that was a thing! Can ya like, read the letter…!?"
"My descendents would know." No they don't! "Especially if 'we' are under attack, as you say we are. Receive a signature in blood, then come back."
...Well, son.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: GENKAN'S PERSPECTIVE ====
The day has become quite late. Brad hasn't returned as quickly as I anticipated.
It's really something, being alone again for periods of time. It's refreshing, but at the same time, it lacks the energy that I enjoy as well.
Perhaps a balance to these sorts of things is the best. Brad definitely seemed rejuvenated after our day spent relaxing yesterday…
Admittedly, we spent at least a third of it relieving sexual tension. I do still feel a little cloudy about it. But…
No. I should save my more depraved thoughts for another time. Now is not that time, I don't think.
That said, spending even a day relatively apart has helped us collect our thoughts about one another.
I wonder what he's been getting up to. When we ate, we only talked about our lives. I had meant to ask him what he was doing, but… it escaped me.
I also can't help but worry a little bit already. What if he gets hurt, and I won't find out until later? When I could be doing something now? At least he doesn't exactly need to worry about me, I suppose. I wonder if he still does.
This time apart is particularly helpful, because whenever we do reunite, it feels so good.
...In this main room, I gaze at the laptop here, on the plain table. Technology's really become crazy.
It must be dark out. I really should go see if Brad is safe. The nights, even in this time of peace, are assuredly not. Especially not in the Forest of Magic.
...Before I move, however, someone arrives.
"Ah…" Oh. Brad made it.
He takes pause, and gives me a smile. "Hi." His greeting is very reserved, and unlike him. He makes a concerted effort to appear casual as he strolls into the bedroom.
...I drift behind him, tailing him.
Creak. He collapses face-first onto the bed we've fixed in place. It's still a mess from this morning. "Ouf."
...Coming up to the bed, I begin the conversation I had in mind. "What were you doing today?" I didn't ask him before.
"Pain." Oh. "I was-... doing things. But now-... I'm outta strength. The day has ended."
"...Specifically?" I'm genuinely curious.
"I~... did some exercise with Meiling." Oh. Took her up on sparring, I see. "It hurt!" I'd imagine. "An' then- I wanted to get that sword from that Kiyoko Hakurei chick- but she needed me to have Reimu sign the letter I had her make. In blood! And that's where I was like ouu I'm gonna do that tomorrow…"
That's the first time he's looked at a problem that way. Considering the Hakurei is most likely asleep, this is probably the most efficient thing to be doing.
"Mmm…" You know. "Suddenly needing the Hakurei's blood for a signature to obtain a sword seems quite absurd without context."
"Ye- yeah!" Brad chuckles weakly. "Oouh."
"Why do you want the sword?" I wonder. "I can't help but notice you didn't seem interested in it when we first saw it. Why now?"
...Laying his elbows on the bed, he twists to grin at me. "So we can get a harpoon on the S.S. BONER…!"
...Oh. Oh, I see how this all pans out.
"You need Reimu Hakurei's blood-signed signature to trade for her ancestor's legendary sword so you can turn it into a harpoon." This truly is a Brad thing to be doing.
"I just wanna borrow it!" Brad takes a lesson from Marisa, apparently. "Except actually by request, too…!"
Well. If Brad wants to build a harpoon gun, he can do that. I bet he wasn't allowed to make harpoon guns on the outside.
He collapses into the bed. "But I'm dead, oouh…"
...Well.
I crawl into bed with him. I place my chest on his back, and lay on top of him.
"Aa- ah." He tries to escape, except not really.
Hmm. He certainly feels tired.
"I'll help you relax." It's time to bully him while he's vulnerable.
...After a small internal debate, I roll him over.
"Mine." Mmm. I don't think he'll offer much resistance.
Smugly, I lay there atop him, looking pleased. He's defenseless.
...After getting enough of his worn expression, I pounce.
We kiss. "Mm- nnm-...!" Brad, at first, pushes against my arms playfully, before wrapping his arms around me and giving in.
This is a good opportunity…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 113
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
a big chapter that establishes some fun things, especially following the advent of THREATS.
this procedure's quite transparently exhibits brad's newfound sense of responsibility 'kicking in' in the face of the new threats to the empire
that and because any amount of power acceleration is no longer for himself- it's for him and his girlfriend, and because he wants to maintain this sorta thing
i could speak more about it but i think i want the story to speak for itself! but it's an interesting note… - w -
this was a fun chapter of just kinda things, it was wholesome and friendly
meiling sparring was fun; i'm trying to give brad some realistic power, which is hard because he has to play into his wit and natural strength, because he sure as heck doesn't have the muscle to just do some things
it's an interesting challenge, 'cause when i write sendai, tsukiko hakurei can just… do. she's naturally quite strong, knows how to maintain strength, and largely knows strength of character and wisdom and other such things already
but brad can't just trust his bodyweight to help with bullshit evades. brad can't just… hit and make 90% of gensokyo recoil from a punch; in fact i'm pretty sure him just punching might not even be enough to deal with fairies
but he knows what hurts, he knows how to swing human tools and he's resourceful, and it's probably gonna have to be through resources and planning that he proves his strength rather than through a honed body
it's gonna be an interesting commentary! and i'm pretty hype to see how things go…!
...after editing this chapter, i went in going "let's see if we can trim some fat yeah man"
and, i did trim some fat, actually; some of the more philosophical moments were edited and downsized and refined to be a little less wordy, a little more to the point sometimes
but then i went and added that meiling race around the mansion, which was a cool time! she used to have brad just check his powers by running back and forth, but that lacked hooking charisma, so i figured the race would be a more organic way of both showing off some stuff and breaking up some of meiling's explanation-isms
for any future "instructional" segments, i'm trying to cut down on instructors being too abstract for readers to gain value from them, i'm trying to give them a little knowing and charisma in their presentations, 'cause sometimes they give brad a little too much information for him to use
and when a point gets overexplained to the point the mental hook on it is lost, i think that makes things feel vaguer for a chunk of readers. i mean, on one hand, can't help it if they can't focus for things that absolutely need it, but i do have to concede that sometimes a concept that i want to evoke doesn't need to go too big-brained
as always, see you all next time!
