Chapter 32 - Kuniharu's Secret

Risa gazed at the streams of people passing through from her vantage point on the third-floor sky bridge that overlooked the grand lobby of Keio University Hospital. She looked formidable, almost sinister, in her white lab coat, a dark gray, form-fitting pantsuit underneath, her blonde hair pulled up in a severe bun, exposing her window's peak hairline.

Doctors, nurses, administrators, technicians, mechanical support staff, patients, medical sales, visitors, contractors, filtered in through the entrance security check. Those who worked at the hospital, held their access card close to the card reader and quickly pass through the rotating three-pronged gates. Those who were not hospital employees went through a far more lengthy security check, along with a thorough search of the belongings, placing anything metal, even a belt buckle through an x-ray machine for inspection.

Immediately, Risa felt a disruption of the future in the form of a middle-aged auburn-haired man who just walked through the automatic front doors of the hospital. He had that nondescript, ordinary, everyday salaryman attire, with the collared shirt, pants, and jacket. He did look slightly haggard, with some stubbles on his chin and bags clearly underneath his eyes.

Risa did not need to be a psychic to know that her son, Kuniharu, had come to see her. He was a healthy man, with only common afflictions like myopia and the initial creaking of the joints from age. So he certainly did not come to a hospital to seek medical advice for himself.

It was an unusual visit, for sure. Risa compartmentalized her life and made sure others knew of it. For Kuniharu to violate the sanctity of her occupation, one that relied heavily on preception of dedication, temper and mystery to command the respect of her staff, it must be serious indeed.

The hospital is a hotbed of rumors and many were still curious as to her where she went on her vacation time a month ago, as gossip went wild from visiting a gentleman's club to secretly treating the prime minister of Japan. Here, no one knew that she had a family. In this strongly gender-biased society, a woman could only climb so high on a career ladder if she did not have a family to distract her from her job and therefore, her career.

Risa took a moment to check her personal cellphone, the device that she checked only during off times, not on working time.

Kuniharu did notify her, about an hour ago.

Well, family was family. And she owed her son for her decades of pettiness.

"You see that man there, Nuri-san?" said Risa to a male attending physician who was an aspiring hospital administrator and had become her unofficial personal assistant. He was in his thirties, with dark brown hair, a clear face, and bright brown eyes that set people at ease. "That is Saiki Kuniharu. Escort him to my office."

"Yes, Suzuki-sensei," said Nuri, turning on a heel, ready to bolt. The line was short enough that Nuri would have to run to catch the man before he disappears into the hallways of this massive hospital.

"Nuri-san," added Risa. "Cancel all my remaining appointments for the day."

Nuri nodded, though he frowned slightly. "I can, but, shouldn't you still see Saionji Kanemitsu for his three o'clock? His father specifically requested you to be on the treatment team, since you're the one who stabilized him, a rare feat for a crush injury."

Risa shook her head. "No. Give my regards to Saionji. Tell him that I must attend to a serious matter."

Nuri did not seem convinced.

"Are you going to make me repeat myself?" Risa said in her steady voice laced with a challenge.

Nuri immediately realized his mistake and shook his head in apology. "Of course not. I'll convey to him your regards."

Kuniharu was not a man easily given into serious nervousness.

Sure, lighthearted overreaction to put people at ease was a given. People gravitated toward those who wore their hearts on their sleeves, often with a sense of perverted pleasure. People needed to feel control, be it control over their lives or over others. Kuniharu sniveling manners enforced the sense of superiority in others, putting their guards down.

It was a reaction that Kuniharu exploited all his life. He was compensated relatively well for a job that generally did not need his skillset. The loss of his dignity, a thing that he placed little value, through shoe licking, was a small price to pay for, until recently, a quiet, steady life in a small suburb of Hidari Wakibara.

Here, sitting in a large, modern physician's office at the prestigious Keio University Hospital where his mother, Risa, was the chief of medicine, made Kuniharu feel small.

In a way, Kuniharu felt like an incredible disappointment in terms of the modern career accomplishments. He never wanted the executive management positions, or aspired to be some type of recognized professional in science, math, or business. He never aspired to make so much money as to afford exotic vacations and fancy sports cars beyond his usual toy models.

Kuniharu always had the opinion that recognized occupational success would be traded for a divorce at best, suicide at worst. Their culture where people lived to work never made much sense to him. He was happy with his wife and children and all its domesticity. Even if his children outright disrespected him and he was easily bossed around by his wife, he did not doubt that they all loved him. What did the good opinion of strangers matter?

And now that comfortable domesticity was ruined by the loss of one of their family member.

Kuusuke's passing just did not seem real. It did not seem real even now. There was no funeral. There was not a body. In the past, Kuusuke had disappeared for longer than this recent bout of silence. The only shreds of evidence that Kuusuke was gone were how all of Kuusuke's fortunes and possession were formally transferred and Kusuo's recent behavior change.

Kusuo disappeared regularly now, from what Kuniharu could tell, handling Kuusuke's extensive possessions. The exact nature and totality of Kuusuke's possessions were not clear to Kuniharu. Once the attorneys found out that Kuusuke willed everything to Kusuo, they immediately shut Kuniharu off from the discussions.

There were much bigger problems at the moment. Not just the fact that his family was hurting emotionally, but now, Kusuo, their only remaining son, had a proverbial guillotine hanging over him.

Kurumi broke down completely. She was unresponsive to the gentle prodding of family. And when Kuniharu suggested that she needed to seek help, be on medication, she fought him instead. There were other reasons, of course, but that was the primary issue. Then she became despondent.

All of it became too much. This was why Kuniharu had initially buried himself in work, to temporarily escape. The mind cannot wallow if it was kept busy. Care for self first, then care for others. Mitigate the threat. Resilience was not something that simple determination could achieve. If his family loved him, then they would understand and be patient.

And how, Kuniharu felt that he could go back to doing more, to close up the loose ends and openly discuss the many unsaid things. He had to approach the topics delicately, which was why he was here. To humbly seek the opinion and help of his recently no-so estranged mother Risa. Of their small extended family, she was second only to Kuusuke in capability, at least in Kuniharu's estimation. Kuniharu knew that he could trust her opinion.

The first thing that Risa did once she entered the office was to shut all the blinds on the windows. Personal issues should never mix with work and she was not taking chances of people overseeing the exact nature of their interaction. Kuniharu was simply a new patient that she wanted a one-on-one interaction with due to a delicate matter.

After that, then she warmly greeted Kuniharu with a hug.

"What's going on?" asked Risa, seemingly staring through him. It was a look that Kuniharu knew well and was one of the reasons why his children's behaviors never bothered him. His children took after his mother's side of the family.

They were seated on the leather couch in Risa's office. Her office had that odd combination of a modernist look mixed with a psychologist's therapy room. All glass, black and gray furniture, with the only softness in the minimalist ikebana flower display on her desk and the faux suede sofa.

Instead of sitting in her imposing leather chair, she joined him on the faux suede sofa. She handed him a bottled water which he accepted.

"Do you really have to ask?" said Kuniharu with a hint of wariness. Risa was a psychic and such knowledge was as jarring as hearing Kusuo's actual voice.

"I do," confirmed Risa. "Thoughts are gray, unorganized, indecisive, and directionless. Perception becomes reality, whether it is true or not. The spoken words reaffirm the perception and thus the reality. It's a hubris of telepathic psychics to assume people's inner thoughts are reflections of the truth."

It was an unexpected lecture, one that Kuniharu suspected that was directed not really to him, but for Risa's grandson, almost so that Kuniharu could look out for Kusuo on her behalf.

"What of the times that I lied?" asked Kuniharu, thinking back to the earlier time when he regularly interacted with his mother. The childish lies where he ate the brownie that he later learned that he wasn't supposed to eat. "Did you always know?"

"Only if you thought it was wrong," said Risa "and your opinion often differ from most."

"So I have loose morals?" inferred Kuniharu blandly.

"I wouldn't say that you have loose morals. You simply think differently," said Risa vaguely.

"You have a specific example?" Kuniharu pressed.

"You are spineless," said Risa without missing a beat, "but you don't seem to place value in besting others. People characterize it as a lack of ambition, a sense of shamelessness. But truthfully, you simply don't bother with hate. Petty jealousy maybe, but never honest hate."

Kuniharu stared at Risa's razor-sharp assessment. It was never a wonder to him why she could reach such heights in her career. She must have easily understood human nature and used it to advance the career hierarchy.

Risa gave a wane smile. "But you're no here to talk about that. What's on your mind?"

Kuniharu looked to his bag, pulled out a gray folder and handed it to Risa. "This is something I want your opinion about."

Risa took the folder and opened it.

It was a file folder from the maternity ward at Ikkoku Yama Rural Hospital. She opened the file folder and came upon a small stack of papers, stapled and bounded with a binder clip. The name on the top page was noted as "Saiki-Boy A."

Risa opened the file and her eyes began to dart left to right, from up to down, quickly absorbing the contents. With her well-practiced physician training, there was no change in expression as she mutely read and assessed the information presented before her.

"You know, since Kuusuke's..." Kuniharu paused. He wrung his hands as Risa read. It was too painful to say the exact words without tearing up. "...thing, I thought maybe I should tell Kusuo about the truth about Kuusuke's health."

Like an impeccable professional, Risa kept on reading the document, mentally assessing the information before her while speaking. "Will it benefit Kusuo-kun's understanding?" she inquired.

"I don't know," said Kuniharu honestly. "It's why I'm here, for a second opinion. I thought that maybe he'd find closure in it, like how I felt when you said...you know...with my...um..."

Risa knew the delicateness of what Kuniharu wanted to ask and why he specifically asked her. "You mean, Kasei?"

Kuniharu nodded. "Why didn't you tell me until recently?" It had been a question he had wanted to ask ever since the day she spoke of that sibling he never knew.

"The knowledge was not beneficial to you," said Risa simply as she kept on reading through the file placidly. Her flat expression only changed slightly when she came to the second set of stapled much thinner set of bound paper for a "Saiki-Boy B."

"The human mind is insidious in its self-feedback," Risa continued as she began to skim the contents of the second document. "It'd give you a sense of sadness, a grief for someone you never knew, when it absolutely shouldn't."

"But I would've understood why you and father were so preoccupied with work all the time," said Kuniharu, exhibiting a rare instance of hurt. "I would've been a better son. I would've not allowed the estrangement. I could've gotten Kurumi to understand. I..."

Risa took a brief pause from reviewing the paperwork before her as she placed a hand on Kuniharu's shoulder, silencing him.

"Would've. Could've. Should've and all its permutations," said Risa. "You should stop. It's useless."

Kuniharu didn't seem convinced. "But the dreams of what Kasei could had been must be inescapable," Kuniharu reasoned. "Hell, even I'm doing it now. I worked, I avoided my home, I threw all my responsibilities to Kusuo like a coward. So I can avoid thinking about Kuusuke and all that he could be, even though he lived far longer than my expectations."

"Hence why I've said that it would've added nothing and why I deliberately never mentioned Kasei until the knowledge was useful. It reinforced Kusuo's understanding of the seriousness of flashover," said Risa, her expression never changed as she went back to casually flipped the pages back to the very beginning. "If you knew, you begin to fantasize what could never be and not move on," Risa closed the file. "And from the looks of this, you already understood why I didn't say something for the longest time."

"I still felt closure when you finally told me about Kasei, though," said Kuniharu.

"Now. Yes. But as his mother, the pain never fully goes away. It's not an easy thing to speak of," said Risa. "While you may feel closure. I never could, not when I know, now, that childhood flashover is possible to overcome."

Kuniharu had nothing to say to that.

Risa now closed the file and it on her lap now, palms flat on it. "You know, after seeing this, I finally understand why you could be so calm when Kusuo finally told you what was on his mind. You had been expecting it for some time. Kurumi held onto hope that Kuusuke was never impacted and you've always played along out of love for her."

Risa reached over and held Kuniharu.

It felt awkward and comforting at the same time.

Kuniharu took a shuddering breath and his eyes turned misty, but he ended up with a sigh and seemed only tired.

When they broke apart, Risa's exterior coolness seemed to have warmed in sympathy.

"Did you ever name Kuusuke's twin?" asked Risa gently.

Kuniharu shook his head. "No." His voice had dropped to a shaking, hoarse whisper. "He never breathed."

"That is wise," said Risa with a sagacious evenness. "It's a needless emotional investment." Then, Risa seemed contemplative. "What does Kurumi know?"

"She doesn't," he confessed as he shook his head. "She never even held him."

Risa, ever the professional, seemed unaffected by the odd answer. "She never suspected?"

"It was a rural hospital," said Kuniharu as if that explained it all. "The ultrasound tech didn't even get the count right. The doctors are even more incompetent. Her parents wouldn't listen to me when I said I want to take her to a city hospital. Her father forbade her to ride the bus and the train because 'the baby will fall out.'" There was a rare look of contempt on Kuniharu's face. "And you know how Kurumi is. How she can be mind-numbingly unaware. If she knew and understood why it happened, it would've crushed her."

"The medication that she took to mitigate her illness," said Risa knowingly. "She stopped too late."

Kuniharu only gave a nod for agreement. "And after Kuusuke was born, she suddenly became fine without it. I never thought much of it because things like that happen, with hormones and body adjustments. Kuusuke and Kusuo both adored and loved her like any normal children. She was never depressed again. She was normal, cheerful, dorky, genuine and everything that I fell in love with."

"But she was also the reason why you wanted Kuusuke to be tested," said Risa. "The condition is highly influenced by genetics."

"Yeah. A great idea that was," said Kuniharu sarcastically. "Confirmed and even worse. And now, I am not sure if what they've diagnosed was correct, in light of what Kusuo had figured out."

The mother and son pair fell into silence briefly.

"Kuniharu, did you always knew that Kuusuke had some sort of psychic power?" asked Risa.

There was silence as Kuniharu mulled over the question. "Deep down, I always knew something was up. It was just simpler to explain it away by saying how smart Kuusuke was."

Risa tilted her head. "How so?"

"I remember when Kuusuke was learning how to ride a bicycle and Kusuo was probably being a showoff and rode a motorcycle around for a few minutes and Kurumi had to yell at Kusuo to stop. No one else saw that. There was no report in the newspaper. Nothing on the internet. How can that be? We were at a public park on a Sunday morning!

"With Kusuo, it's always the addition of something. But with Kuusuke, it's so much harder to notice, because it's always been the absence of something. Kusuo can create fire in his hands. Kuusuke was never burned by fire, not even by the stove until..." Kuniharu stopped. All the recollection for the day had become too painful to discuss.

But not for Risa, who had sufficient distance to her grandchildren and daughter-in-law. She could easily parse the details and come to an objective solution.

"Perhaps that's why Kuusuke lived longer than you expected," theorized Risa. "If the information in these files were to be believed, then perhaps the reason why he never exhibited physical manifestations of ESP was that he used his abilities to sustain his body."

Kuniharu touched his chin in thought and revelation. "Yes...That certainly is a possibility. Do you think Kusuo will find consolation in that?"

At that, Risa seemed to have decided something.

Wordlessly, she took the file in her hand and walked over to her desk. She pulled out a paper shredder and before Kuniharu could object, she began to feed the documents into the paper shredder in half dozens of sheets.

"What are you doing!?" cried Kuniharu. He ran over, spanning the distance of 5 meters in a fraction of a second, pressing the off button. His arm swung at her and snatched the file away.

Risa mutely stared at Kuniharu, who was now squatted below her, frantically trying to figure out where the reverse button was on the machine.

"Shred the papers," said Risa.

"Why? Kusuo has a right to know," said Kuniharu, momentarily freaked out for two seconds as he found a button, but it only further shredded the paper. "He will want to know."

"I understand that," said Risa. "We all want to equip our children with all the information they need. But this? This information, the details of it, will only bring unnecessary pain and hardship. This is not what Kusuo-kun, your only remaining child, needs to know. He doesn't need to know that he had brothers. He doesn't need to know that he had unknowingly squandered whatever additional time Kuusuke was able to eke out of his failing body. He certainly doesn't need to know that the mother he loves had caused it. I've spoken with him at length when he came to me for advice on how to handle Kurumi. He is very strong, with inexplicable resilience, but he is at his breaking point of what he could tolerate."

"Kusuo is a telepathic psychic," Kuniharu reminded Risa. "He's going to know that I'm hiding something."

Risa shook his head. "The hubris of the telepathic psychic. He hears surface thoughts, after the mind has already interpreted the ideas. He wouldn't have thought he missed something. You know this truth this for so long, yet Kusuo never picked up on it. He isn't going to start now." Risa placed a hand on Kuniharu's shoulder. "Yes. Kusuo will want to know and he has a right to know. But later, when he isn't so preoccupied with figuring out how to recreate those limiter devices."

"You really think Kusuo can remake those hairpins?" asked Kuniharu. There was fear in his voice.

"I know he can. He maybe a little spoiled and more than a little lazy, but he is a remarkable, stubborn young man. Pride, if not drive to live, will make him succeed," said Risa with utmost confidence. "You can tell him then. For now, this is not something he needs to know."

Risa pressed the "on" button on the paper shredder. She gently pulled the file out of Kuniharu's hands and began to feed the document sheets into the paper shredder again.

This time, Kuniharu did not stop her.