(LOOKING INTO THE MATT) (it's MATT'S TURN SON)

/ / / / SHIMOKOA'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

It's near midnight. My body, nearly restored by the winter's grace. I thank you, nature, for being so forgiving, even in the face of… my failures.

I've just parted with Genkan and Brad. ...And, their company. I could honestly care less about them.

Coming around the outside of the village's walls, I stop. I dare not proceed to the western gate yet, to attend my work at the Golden Grin tonight. I need… a moment.

Nature allowed me this passage. To continue after falling prey. To not be leashed, or bound, not raped, not eaten. Denied the mercy of death, perhaps, but given a second chance.

Yet, my heart aches. I've just turned my back on my last real friend.

I've… misjudged a few things. Potentially. Maybe. I've made countless mistakes. I've taken the lives of people who… perhaps, were deserving of more.

That's just how it is. They were in my way. Yes. I was bigger. If only metaphorically, I consumed them. Exactly as nature planned.

Brad, that human, was in my way. Yet…

He consumed my ideas. He knocked me down. He stripped me of my power, made me look simple. He made me a failure.

I deserve to be dead. At least, as good as dead. Instead… instead…

I may be wrong.

No, I can't be wrong. If my deductions are entirely incorrect, then… what of the logic I used to get there? The things I've seen? The cruelty I've felt? The cruelty I've dealt?

No. Brad is right about at least one thing. Society is a human construct: the source of all sin. It is what teaches sin to human and youkai alike.

I am still in this. I just need to—... get my head together.

All this time, I've been looking to show the world its own sin. Like the way an indignant child may break the toy their parent has given them to demonstrate displeasure. The world and I have no better way to communicate. There is no clearer example than reality itself.

That's what would have come true, if Brad hadn't fucked me. He and Genkan had the gall to laugh about it, in good humor, as if all of this meant nothing to them.

Not out of evil. Not out of petty spite. But, because… it truly meant nothing to them. They ignored my struggle. They thought it was ignorant of me to struggle. Pathetic, even.

I looked down on them, and they looked down on me. If only I had won. Then I'd be right.

The ends, until that point, justified the means. Now? There are no ends. The means were pointless. All my effort, a waste.

I lost. I was made to look wrong. Now everything is so much more complicated.

I wouldn't have to think about societies or something to blame… if only I could prove the whole world is enslaved. It's pointless to root out the problem, when you can simply dispose of the ground which it stands. Such a simple dream has died.

No matter how I look at it now, for all of his sin, Brad is not a being of malice. If I had won, I'd never have had to see this.

He is a product of human sin. Scum of society. He knew as much. No matter how hard he tries to escape it, he is a being of humanity. Greedy, beastial, consuming and aggressive.

...And so am I. That was the mask I wore for vengeance.

I've killed innocent people. Devoured their momentum, emboldened myself with their blood. It feels so good to be right. To be the queen of my world, undisputed. Power overwhelming!

Yet. Yet, yet, yet, yet, yet.

Nature dictates that the strong are right. Humans are not strong on their own. They circumvent nature together, their mutual greed creating a truce. Despite standing above the animals, they still act like them. It's hypocritical.

Yet Brad took me down nearly all on his own. With scraps of strategic and magical power from his friends.

He wasn't stronger. He just-... he was lucky.

If this is all a game of luck- then what fucking good is power anyway!? What good is being queen!? What good is trying!?

"Damn it!" I hold up my hand, to fire my cosmic laser.

Oh. No Mima. No moon's tear to amplify my power. Nothing. Not even a trickle. The spacial magic is gone.

In the forest to the west of the village, I stare at the stars overhead. Now forever out of reach. A whirling, infinite starry sky beset by snow clouds.

I've… fucked up. Genkan is doomed. I will be alone forever. The magic is gone.

No. It's not Genkan I was fighting for. It was the idea of beauty that she represented. The kind I could see in every sister. Genkan was an emblem of the past, present, and future. If I couldn't stop one simple girl from becoming a bitch to the world's cruelty, with all that power… beauty has been defeated.

But the problem's not that, is it? I'd like to think it is. Yet… I was going to put Genkan through the same cycle of loss, vengeance and rebirth. Because she didn't matter. I did. What I was experiencing mattered. If only she saw only what I could see. Then we'd face this problem together.

Yes. Perfect. Brad is still not innocent. Next time I see him—

"Shimokoa."

Maribel is here. My mind yells at me to react explosively… but I just don't. I look at her.

"What is the truth?"

"It's power."

"Really?"

I nod. "Whoever bests me may fuck my corpse. Whoever breaks me has earned a slave. Whoever I break deserves it. That's how the world works."

"What if Brad captured you, then?"

"He'd have earned it."

Maribel grinned. "You're fucked up, dude."

"I know."

Tired already, I sat down in the snow. In this new kimono Genkan and Brad… bought for me. Contemplating the act of generosity makes my head whir. Is it a taunt? A tease? Were they making fun of me? Or…

No. No, they weren't. I saw Genkan's eyes. She felt sorry for me.

Maribel sat down next to me. "They bought you a nice kimono, so you wouldn't be so sad. And… they healed you as best they could, didn't they? They were never out to kill you. Were they wrong?"

I don't look at her.

"They let you go. If they really wanted you dead or worse, it'd have already happened. There's no way they can trick you now. It'd never be worth it. You're just afraid."

"Cease being so smarmy." My voice is hoarse. "You knew as much as I did. You told me it would be easy. You told me there would be screaming and crying. You told me Genkan… would hate me. I was braced for that. I was not braced for what did happen."

"That doesn't change anything. And, between you and me, don't tell Mima: I set you up."

What?

"I tricked you. It was me."

A chill ran down my spine.

"You sided with me so easily when I said I would help you kill Brad. Which… um, yeah," she let her thought trail off strangely. "But you were so adamant against siding with Genkan and Brad. All because they fed against your ego. Because they're genuine people.

"When your best friend was killed decades ago, your own authentic self died with it. I don't know who you were hundreds of years ago… but to think you haven't bounced back from that is pathetic. You do her a disservice every day you fail to love life again."

"You— you can't say that."

"You were eager to obey me because I fed your ego."

Hmm. Um. What she says is completely incomprehensible. "How?"

"Don't play dumb."

Fuck.

Maribel held her hand up before me. A spectral butterfly bloomed there, vibrant and bright.

"You're a hypocrite. You talk all about the animals who stole love from you… but you're trying to do the same. As if to spite the world. That'd be great if you knew what target to shoot at. If only you were smarter."

I want to say something, but I can't. I don't know what to say anymore.

"If you repeat this cycle of violence, you're only digging the world's hole deeper. There's millions of ways to fail. Planets in space constantly succumb to entropy, pulled apart by gravity and chaotic forces. This planet we live on is one of few naturally livable planets in the immediate cosmos."

What…?

"Earth is but one of few beacons of light in the dark. A family is one of few beacons of light in society. You'd destroy that, for such… trivial, chaotic things as your own pride and satisfaction?"

I'd—...

"You're truly the worst. No better than a rapist. Well, maybe a little better." Maribel stared at me. "You haven't raped anyone yet, have you?"

"Nn— no… I would never."

"Really? Never? You don't seem to care about other people so much."

I don't have to put up with this. "Shut the fuck up, human bitch. Slutty whore. I don't need such slander from a liar. You are nothing more than a deceiver!"

Maribel just gave me an easy expression.

I get in her face. "Failure! Human trash! Go back to your fuckhole, slut! Suck more dick while you're at it! I fucking hate you! I'd kill you! If—... if I could."

She snorts at me.

"Fucker! Loser! Human scum! Failure! Fuck you!" I spit icy mist into her face.

Her eyes wince a little, from the ice.

I throw a punch.

WHAM! I hit myself in the face, my attack redirected through a gap.

"Aagh…" I hit my eye that'd healed earlier today. Damn it.

Maribel stood up with me, as I staggered back.

"Shimokoa. You are a monster. This is who you are. And so Brad and Genkan slayed you, in defense of themselves. Your victory would have been meaningless.

"He wasn't fighting just for his animal half. Brad fought for Genkan's, too. He fought for that magician girl, for his fairy friend, and he also fought because you were stupid. With yin and yang aligned, and a healthy dose of luck, you stood no chance."

Maribel moves. "See you at the Grin in a few. You and Matt are getting basic setup training today."

She's gone.

All I've done is make things worse.

Not only was I a monster… I could've broken something so precious.

I don't want to think about it. I can't think about it.

My head is starting to ache.

I'm no better than those I've been killing in the name of justice.

Do I kill myself?

All I have ever loved has been broken. Genkan… I could have been her friend. Instead, I made her my lesser. I'm all alone.

When my 361st birthday comes to pass, it will be one of innumerable with no celebration at all.

Now I'm trapped, studying society in Maribel's sex hovel. At her mercy, as her lesser.

I think it's time to kill myself.

I drift up to the village guardsman.

"Kill me." I don't care what weapon he has.

Kneeling down, getting dirt on the beautiful kimono Brad and Genkan bought me…

I hold my arms out. "Ki— kill me!"

...Nothing. Do I have to provoke him?

I can't bear to think anymore. I can't bear to fucking think!

He's a man with a helmet on, bundled up on this December evening. He has a pike, and a knife around his waist. His armor is clumsy mixtures of warm parchment and actual plate.

I come at him. I spray frost on his visor, across his face and scarf.

My hands grab his pike, jerking it around. I could tear it from his hands, but I don't.

He darts back from me. I spread my arms out, doing my best to look menacing.

"Ki— kill me— already!" I yell through my tears. "Kill me!"

...Why the hell isn't he killing me!? I'm right here! I'm his next paycheck!

"Kill me~!" My— voice… "Nnn…"

My head—... fucking— damn it— my head!

Aah—

In terrible irony, I slip on the ice, onto my knees. I don't know if I tripped on my kimono or some snow. It's too dark.

"Hihh— nn—..."

I cry in the snow.

Gasping sobs. I bear my teeth, and curl up.

...He's not going to kill me.

What great irony.

I don't want to think. I just want to cry. I want to be angry…

Unlike when I was mad at Brad… this doesn't feel good at all. It's release… and that's all. It's merely a fire keeping me from what I'm afraid of. I'm not brave enough to live without it…

I sob. My head aches so good. ...Yes. As long as I'm angry… I won't feel like dying.

When this fire goes out, I don't know what I'll do.

"Hi— eeh…"

I'll stay warm by my own fireplace. I'm sorry, Genkan. I'm so sorry.

I writhe. I grind my teeth. I twist in the snow, rolling my head around. So much…

The horrible irony… if I take pleasure in being angry, it just stops. I can't fucking get away from myself.

Genkan… Brad… power…

Fuck!

Eventually, the anger runs it course. The fire has burned out.

How long has it been? How long have I laid here, at this random human's mercy?

...I feel empty. It's a cozy feeling.

I don't care that I've been embarrassed. I don't care anymore about my hypocrisy.

My mind drifts to more pleasant things. Like how great I felt, with all my power. How magnificent it was, to fire magic lasers, to scream at the heavens, to bury the world…

And, you know, I got some revenge. I killed Ton. I killed many people who were in my way. I've killed Eientei's trained soldiers, if only one or two. I've killed kappa who thought they could scam me.

This is truly a uniquely terrible situation, isn't it? My luck… hahaha, my luck! Ooh, my luck. Fuck me. Aah…

I sit up on my knees, knelt down here in the snow.

...The guard very awkwardly stands there. He pities me, but he's not the kind of person to do anything about it.

Yet, that's so much more than I expected. Why, if I were something stronger, something more composed… I could eat him right now.

Without question. He is not ready for a real fight. I could leap up and eat him.

He's a human. He could be one of the profiteers, just having a bad day. I could hit him while he's down, and eat him in one fell swoop. No one would be the wiser.

"Thank you." I nod my head at him.

Rising from my place in the snow, mmm…

I'll teleport past the gate.

Too awkward to even ask him his name, let alone attack him, I vanish in thin air before him.

/ / / / MATT'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

The morning of December 31st. Here's to another crappy year.

Shikome stares at the warm plate of pancakes, uncaring. Instead of her purple kimono, I've had her put in a nice black suit, with a red tie.

They give you nice things here. Such as, free suits. Unfortunately, I have to wear a maid outfit today. Shikome will not be joining us on the floor of sin, so she can just wear whatever she wants. Cooped up here in this room, like some special needs child.

This would be far less complicated if she could just go to school. Perhaps trying to strong-arm Keine was a bad idea. No, it was definitely a bad idea. I just can't really find it in myself to care.

I was having a bad day a couple days ago, you know. Basically homeless, living in a drafty shanty. Shikome, for all her neatness, does not necessarily make a conversational partner. However, she's at least something to live towards.

It was because of me that she was born. In effect, it was because of me that she was targeted unjustly. Carnivorous she may be, I still put her above the shitty riff-raff that populates this town.

Who really gives a fat fuck about these people? Yes, I'm pushing up daisies, and Shikome's existence is denied all because Youmu is irrational, and so Sally can live another crappy day being a nobody.

...Considering this is a Japanese village, nobody named Sally probably lives here. Maybe a Mika or Satoshi. Nanashi.

Maybe they work a dead-end job. Maybe they live a quiet life, baking, writing, business… sex or drugs, weapon smithing…

In any case, that's none of my business. Factually, if I'd never killed anyone, Shikome may never have been real.

I can't feel comfortable about that thought. That's the fucking thing. ...Normally, I withhold my uncertainties from the page, but…

This shit's been crazy.

It's not like I can vow to never kill anything again. Shikome needs to be fed. Perhaps I can work out something with Maribel or Yukari.

...Hmmh. Damn. I don't know if I want to think too deeply about it. Not right now. It's too early...

Speaking of maid outfits, I'm going to need help actually adjusting this thing. I've never worn something so overcomplicated before. Why can't all of these details just be worked onto the clothing instead of be instrumental in even equipping the damn thing?

It's New Years day. As such, today is a special maid day. Apparently.

Supposedly, today will be one of the easiest days. We won't even need training. We just need to stand behind the bar and look pretty. It won't technically be open, but it will still be ready to serve on technicality.

So… a boring day. Makes me wonder why I'm even bothering.

But, on the upside, I get lots of free shit.

Maybe I can think about how to become independent when this month is up. Take my cash, spruce up my shit, set it into motion so I can turn a profit on the people who don't want to kill time at the Grin.

What will I do with that money? I… don't know.

The Human Village is one of the safest places to be. Even if the system in it wants me dead- especially now- by law the place isn't allowed to go open-season on me.

And, coincidentally, it's one of few places where money matters that isn't also highly ordained.

If I went to Eientei, I'd just be fucked. The tengu village is old and I'm honestly in no mood to find out where the place draws the line between human and beast. Presumably somewhere far different than even this dinky, shitty little village.

So, in prospect of my own freedom and survival… this village.

I'm not in a bad position, but I still feel deeply unsettled.

Well. Fuck it.

Let's kick it.

Bam. I kick my door open gently.

/ / / / SABRINA THE TEENAGE NAZI / / / /

Time to mix drinks and change lives. ...I like the ring of that. Hmm. No, perhaps it's not me. It's weirdly optimistic, yes. I mean, I am indeed changing lives, but not in the good way.

Regardless, today has a more positive feel to it. Despite being in the Golden Grin, I feel more at home than I have in awhile. Maybe it's the shitty brick walls and plaster-concrete halls.

It's New Year's eve. To that end, we're all dressed in maid outfits.

"There~ ya go!"

Aina, this hostess with a huge brown pony-tail, fixes my collar. "Should be all set, hun! Honeybun. You oughta put all that black hair up in a bun. It might look mad cute with your ears…"

...Would it? Hmm.

Shimokoa is included in our formation along this bar table. She plays with her boobs, in a rather out of character and humiliating moment.

I must capitalize. "Stop that. People will stare." I find the amount of fucks required to actually chastise her, if only because my will to live has dropped that low.

She lets go of her chest. "You're right. It just… feels weird. I've worn different kimonos for the past one hundred years, or even more. Such… skin-hugging, frilly apparel feels entirely wrong. I feel as though I'm being defiled."

Mmm. Because you are. Somehow, she seems more sedate, despite her resting bitch face.

"Anyway! Now, before the day begins, we should do introductions!" Aina bounces onto the bar counter before us, sitting her ass down atop it.

Folding her legs, she gives us a peace sign and winks. "My name's Aina! I've been a hostess for like… a year or two? I forget! Who are you guys?"

"...Sabrina. I'm Sabrina." One and done.

"Shimokoa." Shimokoa is similarly icy.

Aina stuck her tongue out. "Now, don't be all pouty, you two. We must look heavenly. That's what mistress was like… she was all like: look heavenly. An' I really liked the way she said it! Heavenly…"

She places the back of both her hands under her chin. "Heavenly. See? Elegant! Classy…"

In retrospect, she looks a little like Reimu. That said, she's way, way, way higher energy than Reimu is.

"You're annoying." Shimokoa immediately decides.

Aina immediately gives her a flatter look. "Hey, I'm just tryina' liven you girls up."

"I don't need livening up." Shimokoa counters. "I'd rather be dead than alive."

...Aina smiles mischievously. "Ooh? What song didja rip that one from?"

Shimokoa blinked her eyes. "Song?"

"You know. Linkin Park. Uuh, Fall Out Boy. My Chemical Romance?" What the fuck.

Shimokoa's eyebrows raise. "If you're trying intentionally to confuse me, you're doing a very good job."

"Wh- no, those're band names!" Aina stands up off the counter, holding her arms out. "You ever heard an outside band before!?"

"Band?" Shimokoa didn't even know what that meant for a moment. "Oh. You mean music…"

"Pfthk- ou- aa…" Aina takes physical damage. "Yeah I mean music, girl! What didja think I was saying!?"

"Who even knows?" Shimokoa shook her head… "For all I know, you could have come down with dementia. Humans are fragile beings."

"Pfhuhahaha~!" Aina gets a kick out of that. "Y'know what Shimo-chan, you're cute."

"Do not call me that." Shimokoa resents it. "I am no one's."

"But it's so cute! Shimo-chan. It makes you sound so soft!"

"I will deep fry you." She doesn't know what a band is, but she's learned about deep frying at some point.

"Wh- fu- oh no…" Aina beams incredulously. "Well I'm gonna keep calling you Shimo-chan!"

"Eat my entire sandal." That's- that's actually pretty funny.

Aina snorts. "We took you outta your sandals. Did you come down with dementia, Shimo-chan?"

"Go fuck yourself." Shimokoa has had enough. "Human bitch."

"Oh no." Aina completely doesn't care. "...Well- you don't have to talk to just about anyone today, so I think you're set! Anyway…" With that, she began to make sure the rest of the maid formation was fit and able.

There were a few other maids.

"Hey, Rio." Aina came up to this bitch with cyan and purple hair.

"Hello, Aina." She spoke posh, but with an edge. "I still wish they hadn't lobbied me into wasting my time here today. I'm sure my progress with my boys will be overturned at this rate, by the bimbos who weren't assigned case duty."

Aina huffed. "C'mon, Rio, you look nice. Can't you take your mind off your conquest or whatever for one day?"

Rio leaned her head back, flicking her butt both directions. "Ugh. In another year, you will be licking my heels, Aina. In another year, this village will be owned by the Grin, and I will be the next mistress intern."

...Aina just has a big, static smile. "That's great Rio, but can you at least not be a huge fat bitch about your god complex?"

"Hah! Suck my clit, Aina."

"Gods, you're awful, Rio."

"You have too much energy for a whore."

Shaking her head, Aina came back to the counter near us. "Hfuh…"

...This bar counter feels quite tiny, when you're behind it. I'm also way shorter than normal.

Ignoring the commotion, all of the fancy lights are a truly beautiful sight. One which… I'm unsure if it will be understood by the guests we'll probably take in.

The LEDs which hang around the club are white, blue and gold, as opposed to their usual crazy assortment of candy-like colors. The stage is lit up gold and white. The tables feature gold candles, no longer overshadowed or inconsistent in their rate of appearance per table.

This club is designed to be flexible in its aesthetic, but not in a way where it would be apparent. It has many moving, custom parts. Programmable lights, easily-switched banners, strategies for miscellaneous table decorations…

Themes. My bar needs themes.

"God, Rio's such a bitch." Aina tried to voice her grief to us. "Don't speak to her, guys. She's a knife."

"Fuck both of you." Shimokoa knows where it's at. "She may be a delusional failure, but you are just as worthless. Don't forget that."

...After a few beats of smiling incredulously, as if expecting Shimokoa to have something more to say, Aina speaks again. "What the hell'd I do to deserve today's shift…?" You tell me.

I sigh.

For some reason, I'm in a strange mood. Slightly anxious, slightly sad. It's not a comfortable feeling.

You know why? Perhaps it's because it feels like school. It's… structure. My life is structured, as of right now. I'm participating in this 'society' subserviently.

Not my style. Not at all. No.

...But, I'll do what I must. That's really the story of people, isn't it?

Some of Gensokyo wants to kill me, and this place, while unfriendly, will keep me from getting killed. The roof over my head, both literally as well as metaphorically.

Compared to the shit I went through, this isn't so bad. It's nearly downright comfy. You know, if I didn't have to wear this complicated, stiff maid outfit.

That reminds me. I look at Shimokoa. "Where's your old buddy? Mima?" I've noticed her rock metal album cover mask is gone.

"She abandoned me." Shimokoa became sad. "I failed my purpose."

Well. "You suck."

...Hmm. No glare. She simply seems to accept it. I would've actually earned that glare too. Either she's got more integrity than I thought, or she's just ignoring me, which would be even more annoying. It's probably the latter.

Welcome to the garbage bin of failed protagonists. ...Actually, I'm going to pretend I didn't just think that.

Aina comes up to us, in this weirdly articulate way. "Aw… why are you so cute?" Does she mean me?

"Touch me and you won't have eyes." No.

"Aa- ah." She freezes mid-reach, reversing her attempt to hug me. "Sorry! It's just, um… you're so cute!"

"Do we have any more preparing to do?" I press my advantage.

"Uuh. Mmm. Nnn… no?" She shrugs sheepishly. "We're just looking nice today. We're already all dressed, so… I- I guess, well, you shouldn't talk to guests unless you- unless they come up here. And even then, try leaving it down to me and Rio-chan."

Ah, yes, Rio. The bitch extraordinaire. Trustworthy hands.

You know? Yeah, I'm just going to get lost in my own thoughts. ...Can we drink from the stock here? Water, at least? I'm going to ask that. If Aina has enough leeway to have a gossip war with the bitch queen, I have enough leeway to get some water in party cups.

/ / / / PREPARATIONS FOR THE BAAASH / / / /

"Aw, Genkan!" Brad rests his arms on the counter, dressed in a nazi outfit. "We're in the wrong chapter!"

He's brought an entire fucking army today, including the Scarlet sisters. Ah, yes. What.

"Wait…" Genkan, however, recognizes her friend before the fact that Brad broke the fourth wall. "Shi-... Shimokoa?"

"I-... I- don't know- who that is." Huh? Oh. Shimokoa thinks she can weasel her way out of this one.

I don't let her. "That's you." What the hell did you even do, yesterday? Between you and me, Brad there doesn't look much worse for the wear at the moment.

"I will kick you- such that you will fly away." Uh oh. "Do not tempt me."

Aina comes up to us, because of the inherent commotion Brad's existence exudes. "Hey, hey, hey. If we have a repeat of last night, you guys're gonna mop the stage. And trust me, mopping the stage at four in the morning sucks for a reason."

Oh, right. Last night. When Shimokoa came back, she just collapsed. She happened to collapse onto a rack of booze, and more than a couple people weren't happy with that.

Rio immediately emerges from the staff door beside us. "Why don't you let 'em? Some of us could use a break. New girls ought to learn."

Aina cringes. "Yeah- but if they get screwed-... up, I bet the intern's gonna get really pissy! And she's a nice girl, so I don't wanna piss her off."

Maribel has already told me what they do to the shit-tier freshmen. Yes, Shimokoa and I are excluded. Pretty sure Yukari or Maribel would just severely injure whoever came at us before we even knew, if only because Shimokoa and I are basically Maribel's pets at the moment.

I wouldn't have given a shit about staying here otherwise. Maribel is literally the only reason.

"If you corner me, I will kill as many as possible before I am killed." Shimokoa still has the best reaction, however.

Yeah, fuck this. Since everyone's distracted, I'm heading back into the staff room.

"Hah. What a bitch." Rio embodies bitchhood as I make my exit.

clack, clack. The simple door swings open, and I adventure back here into the staff realm.

Indeed. The entire realm of staff. It has much foreign magic. Like stoves, and fridges, both from the twenty first century.

Swinging open the fridge, I find a bottle of water. It's got a Japanese label. Who knows what brand it is. Perhaps I'm drinking liquid nitro that must be fridge-stored.

crack. No, it's water. Where the hell do we bring all this modern plastic when we're done? ...Probably vaporized, or sent to space.

...clack- clack! The staff room door opens.

Rio backs inside, holding her arms out.

Aina calmly strolls in after her.

...WHAM! In a moment, Rio just kicks her in the stomach. Oh.

Aina rolls on the floor after being struck in the gut.

When Rio moves to kick her while she's down, Aina springs up and tackles her. "Nngh- aa-"

thu- thud! Then, it's just a mess of frenzied battering punches and slaps. Yeah. Woo.

...Since they eventually scramble away from the door itself, I quietly slink back outside with my water.

"Remi, you're a boomer." Flandre's voice greets me the moment I return back to the counter.

"And what the hell is a boomer?" ...Remilia is not up to date, apparently.

Do they recognize me? ...If they do, they're not doing anything about it. Maybe not.

'Genkan', the generic yuki-onna following Brad, speaks up. "Shimokoa, what are you doing here? You said you were trying to avoid disturbing things, and yet…"

"It's all part of infiltrating society!" Shimokoa's face gets red as she barks back. "Don't you dare look so ashamed! You're wrong! Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong!"

Charming reunion. These two were related at all? ...Does Brad even have anything to do with it?

Genkan cringes from Shimokoa's panicked rebuttal. "I… if you say so. I- I just… I don't think you need to live like this… to get experience, of any sort."

Shimokoa does not tolerate the suggestion. "Fuck you! You-... if you weren't conjoined at the hip with your human wardens, you'd be helping me tear down this glittery hell. Now I have to do it myself." Good luck.

I just stop paying attention, choosing to read the back of this water bottle instead. Or, you know, try. Ah, right. It's water. No nutrition facts. ...I wonder what could be said of tap water.

The one annoying thing about the Golden Grin computers is that the region is Japanese. Only takes a little fiddling to undo… but still.

/ / / / SHIMOKOA'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

"Shimokoa. Leave with us. We'll fly away together."

Genkan... stop making that face at me. Such a naive suggestion. Yet, the naivety is so like her.

Perhaps… no. No, it'd never work. "I- can't. I've made a contract. In order to find you, I took up work here. If I leave now, I'd wish I was dead."

I already wish I was dead. They'd probably just make me wish I was more dead. That aside… it just won't work. I have a feeling.

Genkan is frustrated with me. "And you're the one trying to look after me?"

I keep to my bit. "And he's the one you've chosen to look after you?" I can't just back down.

It's better that I'm forgotten with the hate I dedicated myself to for so long. Buried in the snow along with my contempt.

The bond they share… is something I haven't seen in a long time. But, it's less that it's precious… and more than I'm old and lonely.

Then Brad opens his goddamn mouth. "Genkan I need help aiming my pee." No!

My left arm tenses up. I could conjure my frozen gauntlet.

I could stab him through the heart right now. Before he can react. It could all end now. Right now. Without anyone to intervene.

...No. No. Contain yourself. Calm. All of that meaningless dreamweaving he does…

Maribel was wrong. She may have tricked me, but she is naive herself.

Brad is not merely a man. Brad is not someone gifted with order and chaos in harmony.

He is nature personified, beastial and selfish. Like me. I don't know how I know. I just know.

He's cornered Genkan. He's cornered me. He doesn't want to eat me. He wants to torture me. Society's sin is right there, inside this man.

He is the sun. All I have to do is kill him... as the shadow! Shimokoa, move! Now! Do something!

Save her!

…Yet, I can't trust myself.

My strength is no longer here. Even if I believed myself, believed my gut and attacked, I would fail.

If I followed the laws of the wild, I would be the prey. I have lost. To the victor goes the spoils. All I'd be able to do is thank Brad, for not taking me as a prize or trophy. No… my subservient face before his is already prize enough for him.

I hate what age takes away from you. I'm three hundred, but I've never felt a day over twenty. I hate this thing… where some people get smarter and some people don't. I feel like one of the ones who doesn't. It keeps hurting me. I'm scared.

I close my eyes. This is the end of my story. Of our story. Hopefully, Genkan will never see me again. I will live the rest of my days… away from people. I'm done with people.

I can find nice things on my own, in the snow. I should walk this world alone.

shoof. I jump when I hear the sound of wood clicking behind me. I twist around.

CLACK. An entire shelf of bottles slants forty degrees.

SHOOOF. All of the bottles begin to slide. Oh- oh no.

CRACK- SMAASH- CRACK- KAKRACK- CRACK! That-... they all fell.

I stare in frightened awe at the shattered gallon of alcohol. It must have been a gallon in total. ...I appreciate the waste, but-

What does this mean for me!?

Fortunately, however, the casino's bodyguards emerge from the shadows.

Maria, Brad, and the others are lifted effortlessly by foxes clad in black. Maria and Brad struggle, to little avail.

Genkan holds an arm out for me.

"Shimokoa, we'll come back for you! I promise!"

Was she not listening last night? "Don't bother." It's already too late. It's time to let you go.

I watch Genkan get carried out the door. It's a rather humorous exchange, too. She stands stiff as a statue after a moment, letting it happen when she realizes it's pointless to resist.

How I wish I got to know her. To know her further beyond spouting my ideas at her, and teaching her my wrath, or my sorrow.

Goodbye, Genkan. You may not have been my best friend, or even a friend by the standards of those who came before at all… but, you've stopped me from taking myself on a self-destructive path.

Maybe, I may live a hundred more years yet, alone… before I truly kill myself, or my mind claims me some other way, in some other time.

I'm… so tired. I drop to my knees, and lay down behind the counter. The floor is dirty. My maid dress soaks up the alcohol.

I'm lower than dirt.

Maribel hurries up to the counter. "Wha-... oh, crap!"

Only Sabrina stands. She looks back at the mess, then at Maribel. "Not my fault."

/ / / / FEEL THE FREEDOM LIKE NO TOMORROW / / / /

I have retired for the evening. I do not feel well.

My 'apartment' as it's called is devoid of furnishings. I have discarded it all. Maribel told me I won't be able to get them back. I have still discarded them. I did this a few days ago, in my confident anger.

I don't… need such things. I don't need nice things. I don't miss these things. Not… at all.

"Shimokoa."

Maribel stares down at me. I lie on the bed, the only thing I've refrained from discarding. "Are you okay?"

...I'm a mess.

"Nh- shk… fu- fuck off…" My voice is hoarse. I cover my eyes. I writhe.

"Are you okay?" Maribel asks me.

"Fh- fuck off!" Leave me to wallow!

...She touches me.

"Fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off!" I squeal at her. I don't care how ugly I am.

That should make her leave. I'm ugly enough to earn her hate, I'm sure.

...Or, not. Naturally.

"Shimokoa." Maribel talks softer, and lower... also, flatter. "You've got some problems."

...Yes. Probably. I'm sure it looks that way. It's nothing to you.

"Look…" Maribel sighs. "Shimokoa. I… I don't wanna see you cry like this."

"Fuck off." I just want to be alone.

"But…" Maribel runs a hand through her blonde hair. "I don't know what to do."

Easy. "Fuck off?"

...Damn it. I chuckled.

Maribel chuckles too. "I- I mean, besides that! That's not gonna help you!"

...Look at me. If I double-down now, I'll just sound even more like a petulant child.

But? I don't care.

Fwash. I shoot her in the face with ice. "Fuck off."

Fwi- Click! Maribel huffs, and… that magic she uses, to change her outfit. It's very much like his.

She has a blue-navy gown on, and a cyan flower in her hair. "...Like my dress?"

Fwash. I spray ice on her again. Freeze over and die.

Fwoash! She heals, rejuvenating from my attack.

Must everyone this fucking annoying have the ability to do this? What the hell are they even doing? What…?

"I just…" Mmgh. "I just want peace."

No obedience. No war. No more war.

No more war!

I press my face into my pillow. Foreign pillow. Belonging to this structure. Not mine. I won't see the snow I lay in for months.

Of course she doesn't understand. "Then… calm down. Please?"

Idiot. Idiot! Leave me alone.

My head is pounding…

"Calm down- or you're gonna have another panic attack!" Maribel warns me. "I'm the one who brought you back…! Do you even remember that?"

My heart is pounding too. "Nn-... no."

Her eyebrows raise up. "...You- you're gonna be okay, okay? So, just stop… panicking."

...She's right. I should stop.

But, my heart… is in a million pieces. Slush. I feel like nothing.

...Maribel reaches under the bed. "Hold on. Lemme see…"

After a moment, she finds a fluffle.

fwoof. I kill it by freezing its core immediately. Here I am, with one, count it, one worldly possession, and those damn fucking mites still have the gall to spawn in my presence.

...Two possessions. The kimono Genkan and Brad bought me is on a lump of ice I made next to the bed, for a lack of places to put it.

"What, why'd it die…?" Maribel is mystified at the fluffle's tragedy for a moment. "Dang."

...She remains, awkwardly. Nothing to say to me.

She's such a different person than she was earlier. Earlier, she read straight through me with unreal precision. Now? She feels like… a girl.

"Say, um…" Maribel is pensive. "You wanted to learn about music, right?"

Hmm? "What?"

"Like, um, outside… bands, and stuff. Stuff like that."

I could care less about music. I just lost my best friend. What kind of monster are you to not get that?

Maribel holds up… some device. "Here. And, um, these."

She passes me some glowing shit. ...Perhaps 'shit' isn't the correct term. It's technology.

"Ear buds. And um… that's a phone. But I got the MP3 player pulled up." Maribel offered. "It might help you take your mind off of… everything. I know um, you don't feel good… about anything. But, like… I- I don't want it to eat you up, either. You're more than that."

I don't need pity from some human…

"Okay. Now… fuck off." I won't thank you. You don't understand my pain. You say you saw it all, and you still have the gall to be so impartial. Fuck you.

Maribel lets out a breath, and stands up.

...What is this device?

I almost don't want to use it. Technology is a sign of the changing times. I don't think I like change.

...Before I discard it, perhaps I'll see what its purpose is.

There are choices on the screen. Band names? They're written partially in English.

It's mysterious enough for me to… hmm. How do I interact with this? It reminds me of the technology panels in Eientei. Mima would touch them with her bare hands.

I poke some name on the mechanical tablet. There is… very little magic involved in this thing's composition.

More names come up. I can't read English. What the hell does this mean?

I'm ready to aggressively poke. Poking another option, I wait to see where it takes me.

...What? There are two lines on the screen, inside a circle.

I poke it. It's an arrow.

I poke it. Again, two lines.

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. ...An endless cycle. Even the technology is mocking me.

I should destroy it. Wait…

Poke. Arrow. Something changed.

Poke. Bars.

...Out of curiosity, I grab one of the 'ear buds' and hold them closer.

Something is emitted. Noise, that's what. I can't even feel the tiny vibrations, they're so miniscule… yet, there is sound coming from them.

Ear, buds. Buds which go in the ear. I feel stupid.

...Hesitating, I relent at first from equipping them, before just deciding to do it. I have nothing left to lose.

Oh. ...Oh.

When I hear the instruments, my expression flattens, and I stare into the distance.

...This… is nice.

"I neve~r… said I'd lie and wait, foreve~r." Oh? Someone… is talking through the device!? "If I died, we'd be togethe~r."

"I can't always just forget her... But she could try!"

"Stay here. I'll get you some snacks and cocoa. Or, um… would you like icy chocolate instead, or something?"

"I… mmh…" It's hard to hear over the music. And… I can hardly keep my eyes open. "Whatever."

"At the end of the world- or the last thing I see! You are never coming home, never coming home! Could I~!? Should I~!?"

I blink.

"And all the things that you never ever told me- and all the smiles, that are ever ever…

Ever~..."

Maribel has left to fetch the snacks, or something.

...My whole body feels tucked in. I suppose I shouldn't knock western beds. This bed is… comfy, at the very least.

"Get the feeling that you're never~..."

Despite this music's chaos… I find peace from it.

Peace. I feel like I'm passively observing something… which was simply presented to me. I'm fully at my leisure to take comfort in it

"All alone and I remember now, at the top of my lungs in my arms, she di~, hihies!"

Such a familiar emotion…

I'm lulled to a sudden sleep by the song's energy, as my head's ache eases.

/ / / / GONE / / / /

I stare down at the Golden Grin's lobby.

Dreaming. I know I'm dreaming. I must have passed out. Yes, rest is what I need. When my mind is clear… I don't know what I'll do, but I'll definitely do it.

I'm on a glass platform, hanging in the air amidst the Golden Grin's interior. It makes me feel as if I'm watching it from the ageless, primordial void Mima had whispered to me on occasion.

I… have walked in her footsteps, inadvertently. I am the enlightened shadow of my former self.

Below me, the club floor is alive with the New Years eve festivities. The old, decrepit humans partaking in the grand illusions cast by Maribel and her superior. Such old sacks of bone and flesh are nothing like the age which grasps youkai. These are nothing more than sin sacks. Parasites long past their expiration date.

Maribel swings around on the stage, attending to targets of interest, saying the right thing, stumbling through the formal routine as best as a girl her age can.

Sabrina stands on a box, manning the counter. The other two idiots I don't remember the names of are there.

Getting bandaged up by random girls, Orato sat at his partially disheveled booth in the back of the club.

This is the next month of my life. I hate it.

Upon the same glass panel as me, Brad stands at the other end. He wears nothing I've seen him wear before. They look like outsider's garments.

FWISH. I summon my steel paddle from the aether, calling it with my frost.

Fwash! Summoning my favorite shield formation onto my other arm, I ready myself.

Cautiously, I approach. He's on his own now. If I jump him, he might not be ready!

...Is this what I should be doing? Am I not past this now?

No. He's a beast. To conquer this beast would be to conquer myself. For Genkan. For Gensokyo. For nature, and to entomb humanity's sins.

This is the moment I've dreamed of! This is who I am!

When I approach, I contain my excitement, being as quiet as possible. One swing. One. He won't be ready. One is all it takes. Just hit him once.

"Hoh?" He senses me!

Alarmed, I reeled myself up to swing.

WHIRR! Now or never!

SHI- Krack! My whining paddle is uncontested as I slice straight through. Yet, the smack of metal-on-metal is what I heard. What happened?

I look to the left. No head, no torso. I look forward.

Brad stands, hunk of scrap metal raised, as if he braced the impact with it. "Aah, give it up!" He smiles wide and works his neck, lowering the metal plant hanger.

"Never."

WHIRR! Leaping, I heave the paddle overhead. This time-

PING! There's a loud but muffled noise. Suddenly, I'm in a world of pain.

"Uhu-" My stomach! Looking down, I see red spread from my ribs.

I look up at Brad. He hides an outside-styled handgun behind himself. Whatever he did, its damage was terrible. My body shakes, comprehending the terrible power of that weapon. It's… a gun. Not like the kind Eientei uses. Instead of searing flesh and bone, it concentrates everything into one point.

All of a sudden, I know why Brad is not the mere human he paints himself to be.

"If-... if nature is wrong, we wouldn't be fighting." I grinned at him.

I know his sin, because it is my own!

"Brad!" I know now… "Be honest with me! You are just as much a monster as me! ...Simply admit as much! That's all I seek from you tonight!" Tonight. In the future, I will take more. Such is the tale of queens and quests.

Brad shook his head, putting his arms on his hips.

Fucker. "Say something."

He smirks at me. "You don't understand anything, do you?"

The cavity left in my chest by his bullet heals. He continues to smirk.

What a dishonest sack of shit. "We are no different. We chase our dreams. In this case, our dreams merely overlap. We are both animals."

...He nods. "Yeah. Neither of us are perfect."

Exactly! He relents! "Then… just, be honest with me. You simply wanted to be superior to me. To retain your sovereignty, as the guilty always do. I say this from my own perch of guilt. I know your game. You know mine. We are equals."

...After a brief moment, he shook his head.

"Sorry, Shimokoa." Such ignorant confidence. What bullshit, self-serving crap does he have to say this time? "But what you lack…"

He reached behind himself. He dug around for a moment.

Then, he pulled-...

A crumpled picture of Genkan. It's taped by an adhesive strip to-... some kind of colorful package of tissues.

Genkan is making a heart shape with her hands, against one of her breasts, letting her porcelain skin fill in around her fingers. She looks only slightly perturbed.

"Is this!" He gave me a thumbs up, and a toothy smile, proud of this.

...I'm not sure whether to be angry or appalled.

"Hehehe!" Chuckling, almost intentionally so, he put it away again.

"What the hell do you mean?" I don't get it at all… if there is anything to get.

"It's love, Shimokoa!"

Brad steps up behind me. "Always has been."

I turn towards him, and he aims his black pistol at my face.

I blink twice.

The scene seemingly resets. Again, we're standing facing one another, meters apart, as if him coming up behind me and aiming at me never happened. ...I blame this dream realm.

"You've got an ego problem, Shimokoa. A chronic one. I dunno for how long, but you seem to think the world just revolves around you."

I bristled. "No!? No I don't!"

Wiping his nose with his arm, he turned around, facing the club's wall. This was a show of arrogant confidence.

"Man." He nods at it. "This's a nice wall."

"Stop fucking with me."

"Haah?" Brad twisted towards me. "You stop fuckin' with me!"

Huh!? "You stop fucking with me!"

"Haah!?"Brad makes a funny voice. "You shtop fuckin' wi' me, ya shee!?"

"Shut up!"

He laughed at my expense. Fucking animal. Just like Mima. "Aah… y'know, it always ends this way, doesn't it? Can't make an idiot see their ego, 'cause that would defile the illusion it's set up. And, let me get this straight: you live in a cave, right? You hardly talk to anyone?"

What? "That has nothing to do with anything."

His expression flared with annoyance. "Oh, of course. Not talking to anyone for two hundred fuckin' years totally wouldn't rust the social wheels a little."

"I've talked with people. You know nothing."

Brad sighed. "But you don't talk to people the way I talk to people. Or, at least, the way I talk to Genkan."

Fucker. "How do you talk to Genkan?"

He smiled. "How do you talk to Genkan?"

"I teach her about the world. I taught the world's dangers."

"Sounds an awful lot like you were talking at her and not with her."

"What do you know!?" My retort sounds wimpy without the assistance of curse words or growls. I should've screamed it.

"My friends."

I hold my heart. I immediately feel the urge to cry.

No. No! This will not end like this! I will not go out with a bitchy whimper!

"You won't deceive me either!" In my age, my three centuries on this Earth, I've learned not to let scum like him into my head!

Genkan may not want him dead, but I don't care about Genkan anymore! At least she would fucking care! She would see the real me!

Brad only wants inside.

WHIRR! My blade parts the air. You won't get away!

With all of Mima's power-... the stars, the cosmos, the plains of snow, the sisters who came before…!

SHWOOOSH! "I'LL CUT YOU IN TWO." Spacial rend, by my blade.

I cut right on through him.

FWOOAASH! From the impact, my blade against Brad, an otherworldly flare of magic spans out.

Prismatic, brilliant. Golden, yet every color of the rainbow. Platinum, and black.

My hair whips around. Did I banish him?

I look ahead through the color and wind. When the clutter parts, I see him.

His twin spectral fairy wings, brighter than the so-called LEDs which illuminate the club. A hardy, material composite face, and two eyes of solid light.

It saunters closer.

That's… that isn't the human I've been fighting.

The wings are broad, broader than my blade. They shine with every color, changing from the different sources of light which strike them.

Malformed, colorful flesh, as if magic miasma given an oily, solid form comprised him. No more was the cloth he wore.

"Why don't we have some fun?" The voice that speaks isn't his... but the cadence is similar. "Limits are meant to be broken."

That's-... a monster!

PING! In spite of my realization, I'm shot in the head.

He's far more a monster than me, even…

Maribel's words echo in my mind. Brad's words echo too.

Ego. You are a monster. Selfish.

I just don't get it. I'm tired...

/ / / / BOTTOM TEXT / / / /

"Aah!"

I wake up gasping.

The earbuds in my ear are loud.

"So what if you can see!? The darker side of me!? No one can change this animal I have become!"

...Perhaps I should blame this music, for how violent the dream was.

"And help me believe, it's not the real me!"

Yet…

"Somebody help me tame this animal I have become!"

...I don't know why, but the music is… something I want to hear.

I didn't sleep. I napped. I didn't mean to nap.

...What the hell did that dream mean?

"Somebody help me through this nightmare! I can't control myself!"

Brad is a monster. A monster crafted by society, by humanity, by-... by stupidity.

Yet, he is human. I think. Yes, he can't be anything but. I'm stupid for thinking otherwise.

So how could he make me feel so bad?

"Somebody wake me from this nightmare… I can't escape this hell!"

Maybe I should thank the music.

To think, I was about to destroy this device. It has given me…

Something to chew on.

"So what if you can see, the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become!"

How ironic. 'Something to chew on', in context of this song. How… fitting. So correct.

"And we believe, it's not the real me. Somebody help me tame this animal I have become! This animal I have become!"

Chew. Yes. How apt.

"This animal I have become! This animal I have become!"

Standing up, I spin. The music has rejuvenated me.

Death is too good for this Brad character. I must find the truth. I must make him see the real me. Then, we can decide and judge one another. Not as youkai and man, but as…

As what?

"This animal I have become…" I echo the music's lyrics, slightly awkwardly at first.

As animals. Is a youkai an animal? I don't fucking care.

"This animal-..." I point at the door. "Brad. You are more animal than man."

clack. The door opens. ...No! I- I mean no!

Maribel sees me pointing my arm when she comes through the door, an awkward smile on her face.

As if launched by an explosion, I dive for the bed's covers.

Creak! And then I shuffle under them just as I was before and I have the phone-... it's under my butt- now the phone is on the bed. Where Maribel left it. Earbuds off! ...I was leaning the other way! Pillow- like that.

We exchange no words.

Maribel smiles cartoonishly. "Wa-"

"Shut up." No. "Be quiet." No. "For several days…" No. "Shut up…"

Maribel blushed from second-hand embarrassment. I'm probably quite red too.

Not a word. I narrow my eyes at her. She's about to speak. I see it.

"Did it help?"

"No~."

Maribel adopts a cat-like smile. "Okay."

/ / / / MARIBEL'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

Closing the door, I sigh. Shimokoa's gonna be taking it easy for the rest of the evening.

I came by with some… snacks and stuff I don't really know what a snow woman needs, but um, hopefully she feels better.

Most importantly… I don't know. She's just got to get over herself.

I keep forgetting how old she is. She's over three hundred. She's lived exactly one way for three hundred years. This probably isn't even the first time she's been so… vengeful. Maybe not so violent. Death being dealt by her is a new concept to her, but it also makes her more somber.

...But. This isn't going terribly, even so.

Through conflict, we'll shine ever brighter. I see it now.

Whoever comes out right in the end, between me and Brad, as long as we fight for what we believe in, we'll come out of it stronger. No matter who's right. We'll come closer to the truth.

We can argue endlessly, about what the other doesn't see. And maybe I'm overthinking some things… but his disinterest in my way of doing things is a powerful statement.

How can I get him to see? Should I?

Fwi- Click! With a pulse of magic, I change back into my New Years eve gown, white sparkling silk and white hat clad. Probably shouldn't walk back out onto the floor in this ice resistant stuff.

I realized something while watching Shimokoa and Brad fight. If this was the outside, and Shimokoa was a roving gunman or a crazy dude with a knife, there's very good odds Brad would be dead, and Genkan would get hurt or molested, even killed too. Say nothing of the emotional damage if she survived the event.

Yet instead, he got to exercise his creative power upon Shimokoa. Gensokyo let him see his justice through. Fantasy gave him power.

I'd say something about his personality, but if fighting were all about personality, there wouldn't be losers. Say what you will about how and why someone fights, if they lose and reality changes in a way they don't like, or if they die or are raped, it's still bad. They're nature's losers.

Gensokyo gave the way he approached the world validation. It allowed him to win in nature.

Obviously, that's why Shimokoa lost. She just couldn't see more. Gensokyo is a world where seeing matters, where even death may be more a transformation towards some kind of strange enlightenment than simply ceasing to exist.

That makes me honestly wonder. Which of us sees more? Just what does Brad hide in those strangely tired eyes?

My gaps are black and empty. Not like Yukari's. Hers are full of ultra-violet eyes.

I've gotten scared of interacting with Renko. She's my best friend… and, yet, her attachment to the outside makes me angry. It makes me scared she won't see what I see. We can't even conflict over our disagreement. I'm just wrong. She's just right. That's how she thinks. We're beginning to look down on one another. It really hurts me.

Ugh. I'll think about it later tonight. I can't worry about it just now…

Funny. I came to Gensokyo to get away from things that'd distract me from thinking. Yet, here I am, doing a formal… thing, with Yukari. Maybe I am just a big idiot. I don't know.

My eyes trace the bleak fluorescent lights on the ceiling of these sterile halls.

"My." Oh! Mhngh. You know, Yukari, you'd get the jump on me more if you didn't open with one of like ten catch phrases whenever you showed up. "Someone's thinking really hard, aren't they?"

"Yeah, I don't usually do that often." I'm not sure why I went for a self-deprecating joke, but I did. "What's got you interested?"

"I'm curious too." She smiles down at me. She's dressed in a similar gown to mine, but it's far more elaborate. I'm not even gonna try to describe the details. Google wedding dresses. Anime ones, maybe. Yeah. "You are under my wing, in a sense. It's only natural I'd be interested in your efforts."

"Huh. I just thought you wanted to keep grooming me. Freaking pervert."

Yukari giggled. "Fufufu. You know… it's funny. It's a sort of paradox of perception, isn't it?"

I make one jeer and you're talking about freaking paradoxes. "First, we need to talk about parallel universes."

Yukari has to withhold giggling more. "Someone else would look in on us, and they might presume this actually is a grooming situation."

"What, you mean it's not?" By 'grooming' we mean the crime where an adult grooms a minor to be a pet or sex toy or servant or whatever. Non-formal social subservience.

Yukari tilted her head back. She's got so much hair. "Well, technically, if you count apprenticeship as grooming. Internship is quite a sinister thing. I'd never realized it."

She's being facetious. "It really is sinister. I'm not even getting paid."

"Someone could look in on our relationship and assume it to be unhealthy because of what they might've seen on the outside." Yukari talks about her perception stuff. "They'll only see their own perspective of the shape such relationships could take. They use their lens alone to pass judgment."

"Prejudice," to put it in normal language.

"Prejudice or prediction?"

"Prediction accounts for a lack of accuracy. Prejudice assumes accuracy isn't even part of the problem.."

Yukari raises a finger. "Very good. Now, as you interact with Brad, do you know if you are asserting your ego over his?"

"I think his ego is preventing him from seeing my possibilities."

Yukari pursed her lips. "Mmm. I just think you approached him a tad selfishly, and he sensed that. Did you know that authentic people can practically detect ego?"

Hey. "Are you saying I'm not honest?"

"Not exactly. You may however be wrong about things you think are true. In that sense, you tell lies without meaning to. Your heart's in the right place, so to speak."

"...So, what do you suggest?"

Yukari used her finger to poke her own cheek. "Mmn." Don't make sex noises when I'm trying to be philosophical. "Well, what do you think?"

Ugh. Well…

"The time I tried to kill him was a reality check," I double-down on my answer, "Because I don't think Brad can even guess what I have in mind for us. We could explore every genre. See every mountain, point at a star in the sky and be there."

"Fufufu…" Yukari giggles a little, except in haughty cougar dialect. "That's a nice dream. Why do you think he doesn't empathize with it?"

"Because he's got a girlfriend and an internet connection."

"Fufufu!" Yukari liked that. "Oh, dear. Truly a curse."

"He's trapping himself here. There's so much he could see! But, he's… slowing down."

Yukari reaches out, and places a gloved hand on my cheek. Creepy!

"I know that pretty little head of yours is full of magnificent dreams," she wiggled my face around, "Yet, ask patience of the pride. Just as the sun rises, sometimes it must set."

Wow. Cool. "Can you translate that? I don't speak hag."

Yukari's smile grew more endeared. "I'm going to drown your ass in boiling water."

I can hardly contain my laughter. "He- hehe. But seriously…"

"I was trying to sound cool," Yukari pouted, letting go of my cheek. "I'm just saying, be patient. Approach Brad amicably. He will not be able to say no. Play your cards right. He is too trusting."

We begin to walk along. I mean, we still have a party to get to...

As we walk, Yukari snorts to herself. "I know your new friend Shimokoa certainly thinks so."

She wants me to bite… and I also want me to bite, so I do. "What do you mean?"

Yukari adds on to that. "Shimokoa is a puppet to ego. I haven't been checking- did you come to that conclusion yourself?"

"Ah, yeah."

"Very good. I'd expect nothing less from a psychology major."

Ugh. "Don't bring school up."

"I've dealt with many ego people in my life, Maribel." Yukari brought out a fan, and began to, well, fan herself with it. "Whether it is born of fear, faulty logic, faulty instinct, all or none, you cannot change them. They can only change themselves. I encourage you not to waste time trying."

My brain is becoming smooth.

We stop at the stairwell. Once we head down these stairs and into the main floor, it'll be back to just idly holding the event for us.

"Do you have an answer, Yukari?" I decide to ask her again. Maybe she'll know. She knows everything. "To ego?"

Yukari snorts. "You're really going to make me say that line?"

"Huh? What line?"

"I don't know everything. I only know what I know."

She responded to something I thought. What a cheater!

"There's no answer," Yukari decided. "Ego simply is. Find better friends."

Really? "But what if they're not just friends? What if they're family?"

"Then they shouldn't be your family anymore. If, of course, their ego is terrible. A little ego isn't awful. I can't think of many humans who did a great job at suppressing it. When you're really backed into a corner, maybe a huge ego is even a little useful."

clack. I push the door open. You know, heels suck…

Yukari grabs my shoulder.

"Shimokoa would be happier if she simply wasn't herself."

What?

...I face Yukari. "Like?" What do you mean?

"Did you not make it so?" Yukari asks me. "Shimokoa's seeds of self-doubt? In pitting her against Brad, you shattered her ego so fiercely. You have changed her character on a fundamental level. The Shimokoa of yesterday died when both you and Brad killed her. The Shimokoa you see today is a new woman."

The way she put it makes it sound terrible. But… "Maybe that's a good thing."

Yukari spared me a wink. "Maybe murder should be legal."

God damn it, Yukari. "What do you mean by that? What- hey!" Get back here!

/ / / / THE NIFTY FLUFFLE DIRT BAND / / / /

Since me and Yukari were both off the floor for a while, the staff had to find a distraction for a while.

There are fluffles on stage, as well as what sounds like a generic backing music track from an old radio somewhere…

"do you feel the way that i do" For some reason, one of the fluffles is the lead singer. "do you feel the way that i do" They're, like, person-sized...

fwoof. The lead-singer fluffle shuffled and 'grabbed' Yukari with a single fin, when she got on stage. "i need you to feel like i do"

fwoof- fwoof. Yukari pushes it off, stealing the microphone. The radio music cuts out at the same time. "Hello, and good evening, everyone!"

It's now six in the evening. Being the dead of winter, the world outside is black, and the club shines brighter than anything else in the Human Village.

In the back of the club- or the front, since that's where the front door is- only the wealthiest youths actually give a sh- a crap, to attend today. All of our platinum hosts and hostesses are on duty.

Yukari continues to address the crowd, while the fluffles are slowly dragged off stage by really long canes. Like, those big theater canes. We actually got these to specifically drag fluffles off stage. For some reason, they really feel like performing.

"136 has been a very promising year!" I don't know how she's immune to stage fright. I mean, silly to think I know, but… also, don't question the year. Gensokyo's calendar is weird. "Even so, this village has seen a lot, hasn't it?"

The crowd before the stage itself is quite… strange. You've got basically every Mister Magoo of the village here. Mann, Okane, Naganori, Hirokazu, Suzu, Okita… hmm. Guess Okita's not that old. He's still nearly forty, and he's one of the youngest.

Hmm. Mann isn't old either, but he's a born-and-raised aristocrat… and not really smart either. His brain age is rather… underwhelming.

Some of them are here with their wives. Which is incredibly cursed, considering some of the things that happen in those very same seats. Also, some of them blatantly come here to cheat on said wives…

"Throughout all of this year, the Golden Grin has seen a marginal increase in growth and prosperity. As our grins shine ever brighter, I ask all of you to keep giving us your support!"

Yukari's so obviously giving lip service it's not even funny. But, that's what people come to expect from these kinds of speeches.

"Due to our efforts, the Human Village has become a brighter village. Throughout year 136, human and youkai violence alike has decreased. Deaths among village guardsmen have decreased by more than five percent over the previous year."

Hardly anyone's dying to begin with. That stopped about when Reimu was born...

Also- that whole 'violence decrease' thing is because all the violence is happening in here! ...Although, I guess, we don't kill anyone outright. Usually. There've been a few cases. Obviously, we don't talk about those.

"As our business grows, we hope to continue the growth of our family of sunshine. Thank you for showing up, everyone! Cheers!"

When Yukari curtsies, everyone raises their glasses.

...As she hands off the microphone, leaving the stage, I give her a flat look. "What a disorganized speech…"

She waved me off. "Oh, hush. It was only a corporate rally. It didn't need to be pretty."

If you say so.

As for who she handed the microphone off to… it was no one. It just left on its own. It knew.

Or, um, rather, it did actually just vanish the moment it left her hand. Magic is powerful. I think it was a sneaky gap placement. If you place it facing away from someone's vision, they might not see the backside. Spacial stuff is confusing as it is amazing.

The club's lighting changes, to announce that Yukari's no longer taking up the spotlight. Everything in this club is to her beck and call.

That said, since she's actually on the floor, everyone's on their best behavior, even the more surly hosts and hostesses. It's New Years, so she gets to be as heavy-handed as she wants to be.

Moving forward, I wade into the crowd. Yukari goes her own way.

Steering way clear of the Mann-Okane power-hour table, I make my way to the other schmoozing candidates. Up until now, I've just been sticking around the regular old men of the club. People who live on easy street, like the Ha family people, or some of the legitimately middle-class guys with questionably successful marriages.

But now, I ought to see about… hmm.

Naganori.

Coming up to the table, I see a bald, bearded man. Clad in the outside apparel suit- the kind popularized in the village by the Grin.

"Hey~! Come on, sit down!" Seeing me approach, he calls out. "Daughter of Yakumo, yes!?"

That's not even a rumor going around, that's just something he thought up 'cause he's old. "Um. Sure."

"Sit down, drink with us!" He pats the table.

The younger man who came with him raises his wine glass at me. He looks doofy.

"Mmn." If I do, it'll only be for a moment. "Make it quick."

"Atta girl!" Naganori pats the table harder. "Yakumo, this is my son! This is your first time meeting him!" I like how that last sentence was just a statement… "He is my third son. Proudest son, yes? Named after the west. He is Harold. Man of honor, yes?"

"Hey." Harold makes me want to die. "Nice to meet you." He held his hand out western-style.

Well, I'm wearing gloves as part of this gown, so… I shake his hand. If nothing else, he has a firm grip.

Taking the gold champagne bottle, Naganori pours me a martini glass. "Cherry on top?" They even have a little basket of cherries at this table.

"Eeh. Sure?" I'm really out of my element here.

He slides the glass over to me, and I take it. ...I'm not planning on getting hammered tonight, so I'll probably just take it with me, without even sipping it at this table. I'm not even a drinker.

Naganori holds his glass up. "Cheers, Yakumo! Drink up!" Ugh. Really?

Thankfully, Yukari taught me a cute trick to deal with people who try to butter you up with booze…

Making sure to look resigned, I huff and hold my glass out. "Cheers…"

He grins, knowing he got one over on me. "That's right." He tilted his head back.

Harold tilted his glass back, drinking.

Tilting my glass back, I form a gap inside my mouth. I time my sip to be as long as theirs. The drink that should be going down my throat instead ends up somewhere me and Yukari organized beforehand. No reason to waste good booze, after all.

Unsanitary? A little. It gets sold to the oni at a discount, apparently. They wouldn't give as much of a crap about sanitation. ...And, apparently I'm not the only person here who does that. Other hostesses get similar backdoors.

Click! We all place our glasses back down. "Woah…" I lick my lips. "That's heavy…"

Naganori chuckled. "Hehehe! Why don't you scoot in with my son?"

You know, on one hand: cool dad, trying to get his son laid. On the other hand: can you imagine how lame you'd feel if your dad came with you to the bar to help you get laid?

"No thanks. I've gotta meet more people tonight." I politely decline. "Can't get too comfy."

Naganori flops an arm on the table. Like, he flails the hand around a little to make some noise. I've never seen anyone else do this. "What? Why even sit and drink if it's not to talk!? Come on, scoot in!"

"Heheh. Um…" He won't give me time to speak if I just say no, so I'll just change the subject. "I came here to thank you for your sponsorship here. And to um, ask about your experiences here…"

Naganori smiled warmly, his face red from the alcohol. "Ooh! Well, that's very kind of you. It's nothing. You've all done so much for the family! ...The only thing you could do more is be part of it! Right!? Hahahaha!" He beams, grinning at his son.

Harold looks incredibly out of place, chuckling along anxiously, not really getting the humor either.

Yeah. Subtle. "Hahaha. Yeah." How does Yukari deal with these people?

"I move too fast, don't I?" Naganori recognizes my sheepishness. "Aah, back in my day, women were never so hard. You make Harold's life hard!"

I think that would be doing him a favor. "Heh…"

Well. I thanked them. Am I done now?

He notices I'm basically about to just fly away at any second. "Aah, alright. If you wanna leave, go ahead and leave. But! If you would like, you and Harold- later, maybe!"

I just uh, go. Flee. You've chased me away. I'm gettin' outta here!

Taking my martini glass, I just-... hurry!

Phew. This is just my continued battle not to become the star of one of those ugly bastard doujins.

Ah. Yukari finished with wherever she stopped by.

"There you are." She winks at me, and gestures for me to follow. "We should be nearly done. I took care of some things earlier."

"How do you put up with these people?" I have to wonder…

Yukari looks back at me briefly. Like… "They're so obviously horny, half the time. The other half they're just… ugly. If not physically, mentally."

Yukari exhales. "A human being can be socially starved, just as it can be starved for food."

Wha-... what?

"Look around you." Yukari finishes making her point. "Almost everyone here is hungry. Practically run ragged. Some, to our advantage. Some at our expense. All in the cycle of feeding."

Everyone here is an animal. Between the literal animal youkai, and the humans.

Some are looking for their next fuck. Some are looking for acceptance, and a place to belong. Some are looking to feel like they belong.

Everyone's here to kill time doing something. If you're bored, why not stop by? ...And, anyone particularly starved enough to look here was hooked from the onset.

Shimokoa is starving. That's why she's so sad. She's literally starving.

Snow women starve themselves. I don't know how it affects all of them… but Shimokoa is an obvious case where it went bad.

Of course, knowing that, giving her social compassion is another story. I can hardly be patient with her. Me. I'm not known to be that flippant…

"But…" That's such a way to look at it. "Can you really look at all of these people- like that?"

"Person-to-person? Of course not. On a scale, however? Yes, certainly."

Then…

"We have our own needs, yes?" Yukari acknowledges. "We simply satisfy them outside of the game we let play out here."

She gives me a big smile. "It's good to know your own limits. It allows you to remain in control, to pace yourself. ...It's difficult for me to show you my way of living, and have you empathize."

I'd… imagine.

"I am something far different from you. Far more in command. Far more… situated. Comfortable in living. You know, even the socially independent can decline if starved. What more is reality than the world we all share?"

She moves.

...Am I socially starved? Um. Kind of. I'm getting there, maybe.

Yukari comes up to Okita. I should be thinking about the conversation she's about to poke us into. I'm not.

"Ooh, damn. Am I 'boutta be assassinated?" Okita looks between the both of us. "What'd I do ta deserve both of ya?"

"I saved the best for last, of course." Yukari immediately takes command of the conversation. No, she already had command. She's just exercising a practiced familiarity at this point. Hell, not even, she just doesn't give a fuck. Straight-up. Not an iota.

Punctuating this point, while she makes sure to descend into her seat on the table's right, she just settles. Like water flowing down, before resting at the bottom of the glass.

Meanwhile, I find it awkward for me to settle into my own. These heels suck. Fancy dresses get in the way. Even my hat feels heavier...

"I know we can relax around you." Yukari gave him a nod. Who is he again? "Maribel. This is Okita."

Okita was a fortys-something man with a goatee and a moustache. "Yo." However, he was the kind that had this cynical tinge to his stare.

Yeah, there's something more upstairs to him. I can tell that just by looking. He said 'yo'; he talks young and fast. Flexible.

"So~..." He didn't let his stare linger on me. He leans back, bringing his arms behind his head and yawning. "Haah. You havin' fun with the geezer crowd?"

"Presumably." Yukari implies that we aren't, but we're being assumed to. That's just a fancy way of saying 'no'.

Okita grins, calling her out. "The hell ya mean presumably? It was a yes er no question!"

Yukari was smug. "Think about it."

"I thought about it!" Okita kept heckling her. "Yer witticism didn't lose me… but…"

Yukari shrugged, winking for just a frame. "It's natural for a man to fall at the wayside of a lady's humor. I'm sure you're used to everything going your way."

Okita gave up. "Man, yer crazy. Alright, yeah, the joke technically worked. Still, you had to go outta your way to make it so sideways!"

"Fufufu…" Yukari hid her mouth with a hand, for as long as giggling required. "I suppose I'll have to give you that one. You make yourself too easy to tease."

Yukari may've been an asshole about it… but she knew he'd poke her for it, so she drew the reaction out, because she knew he'd jump on it.

...Damn. I would've been overwhelmed by his semi-competent energy the moment I opened my mouth.

There was a gold champagne bottle here. Okita was even a good way into it, but he seemed… strangely lucid.

He looked at me. "So… Maribel, was it? How's it feel?"

Um? "How's… what feel?"

"Internship!" He gestures a hand up idly. "Yer playin' the intern, right? S'this just a kinky act? Or is the whole Golden Grin ownership actually some kinda crazy tradition between crazy blonde chicks with mob caps?"

Oh. Eheh. Well… "It's, uh, okay. I learn a lot. Like, unironically. I guess…"

He grins at Yukari. "She don't have yer silver tongue yet, that's fer sure!"

Yukari giggles. "Fufu. Merry… you should loosen up a little. Just a smidge."

"Should I really?" I'm not so sure.

"Take a sip or two." She gestured to my cherry-accented martini glass. "Just enough to loosen your grip."

"That's… paradoxal." I declare.

Okita chuckled. "Ohoh. There's the Yukari part."

"If only because you don't know what I know." Yukari held up her own, empty glass. "Do you know why alcohol is good for diplomacy and agreeability?"

"...Well, 'cause it loosens guards, right?" I know that much.

"It also suppresses the logical adult," Yukari explained, "allowing the creative child to act. Empathy comes easier to them, and more logical- even trivial- details slip them. Sometimes, that's just what the doctor ordered."

Really… "You had to finish that with a cliche phrase?"

"I was thinking of my time on the moon," Yukari admits. "I thought you'd let a little self-indulgence slip… and, perhaps if you were more child in this moment, less adult or in imitation of the image of the parent, you would."

...Wha- what? "What?"

Okita chuckles again. "Yeah, what the hell?"

Yukari flicked her eyes at Okita. Briefly, neutrally. She let herself get annoyed- only for a few frames.

"Parent, adult, and child are simple go-to labels for three distinct states of subconscious approaches to social situations," Yukari explains? "If this means anything to you, the elements may also be described as: order, ego and chaos. Order is logic and rules, including deep-seeded habits acting as foundation. Ego is reasoning built off of order. Chaos is raw desire, fed by instinct and channeled through order and ego."

I think I see. Maybe. "Order and chaos…"

"Light and dark," Yukari smiled. "With the human hung between."

Holy fuck.

"Holy fuck." It sounds weird coming from my mouth.

Okita chuckles. "Oo- oh?"

"Childish people project their childishness onto other people because they can't understand being wise."

An egotistical, childish person isn't totally chaos or order. They're an incorrect balance of contextual elements of both. Whereas, a more selfless or at least "down to earth" sort of person has an optimal balance of light and dark.

Yukari beamed, proud of me. "This is why people assert the creative are on drugs." Wha- wait, what?

Chuckling, Okita nodded. "Shit, s'that how that works? I just kinda figured somethin' about me made everyone think I was a druggie. Y'think it's the eyepatch? Or is it the eye…?"

Yukari gave him a flat look. "If you were paying any attention, I'd say it's your energy."

"Ah. Damn. Hey- I was just throwin' shit out there! I followed ya!"

Yukari's eyes shut as she smiled wider. "I know, I know. I'm only teasing. You could have played it off smoother."

"Aah…" Okita brushed the back of his neck. "Damn. Man- when I said you girls're crazy, I wasn't jokin' around."

"Mmm." Yukari nodded peacefully. "See what I mean, Maribel? He's relaxed. Decidedly not starved, either." She means socially starved.

Okita snorted, proceeding to not understand this. "Eeh. I dunno where y'got that from. Thinkin' once I'm done here, I'll head on down to a ramen place. Actually, shit, everyone's gonna be at that festival, huh?"

Yukari's eyes narrow knowingly, and her easy smile becomes a little sarcastic. "Not hungry like that."

Okita beamed. "How many layers a' metaphor are you workin' on…!?"

Yukari gave me a smile.

/ / / / MATT'S PERSPECTIVE / / / /

"Where'd that little brat get off to?"

Some black-haired bimbo comes up to me in a maid outfit. At first I think she's talking about me, but she's actually asking me, it would seem.

"Who are you, again?" I was just about to take a nap against the bar counter here. Leave me be.

"Aoyama." She states. That… means nothing to me.

"Is that your first or last name?" I can't be arsed to figure it out right now.

"...Last. My name is Tsuruko Aoyama."

"Was that so hard?" It is time to patronize her.

...Taking a moment to consider who I was, she nodded. "Right. You were the new intern. You wouldn't know what I'm looking for. I was wondering if you knew anything about a girl named Sam."

Sam? Strange. "No." Sam could be a girl's name? I suppose so.

"I see…" Tsuruko felt her own chin with her hand. Strangely contemplative, for the kind of person she is. "That's too bad."

With that, she strolled off, leaving me alone. Hmm. That's the most normal interaction I've had today.

I can't help but feel like I was involved in someone else's side mission-esque encounter, and that scares me.

I'm just gonna sit on the counter here. It seems like New Years eve is just about over…

I've heard the slightest rumor that there's gonna be a party at Reimu's. That might be more interesting than whatever this old man fuck shit is.

Actually, wait.

I move to keep up with Tsuruko while she browses off in a strangely slow manner. "Hey. Do you know anything about the party at Reimu's?"

"Hmm?" She twists to look at me. "...Yes. My family attends. We sell competing charms at the base of the hill. The Hakurei's are not to be trusted, not always."

"That's nice." I say this instead of thinking it by accident. "Oop." Ohp.

She snorts. "If you don't believe me, you can see for yourself."

I suppose I'll hold her to that. I'm not sure what said charms are supposed to do, but I'm sure I'll find out when I get there.

Actually, I ought to see what the rules of engagement here are. As in, can I just go and fuck off for a while? We're quite literally not doing anything as it is. Shimokoa even just fell over for no good reason earlier.

I could ask Aina, but I don't feel like doing that. Actually-...

Keeping up with Tsuruko again as she wanders around aimlessly, I ask another question. "When is this party going to be?"

Tsuruko huffs, furrowing her brows at me. "Likely in an hour or two. I'm getting out of here to change my clothing. Now get out of my sight." What did I ever do to you?

Regardless… hold on. I still have not had all of my questions answered.

"When will this party be over?" I have to ask.

"Who knows?" Tsuruko is done talking with me. "Probably imminently. It'll soon be way past these old men's bed time. The Hakurei party is known to last further into the night, but the bulk of it will be from six to ten."

I know all that there is to know. "Good." Time to get permission from my parents to leave the school event.

Scooting from this side of the club, I straight up find where Maribel and Yukari are on the floor. I'm not spending another second in this grungy club if I can help it.

When I come up to their table, where they're sitting with this freak with an eyepatch, I make myself known. "I would like to retire for the evening."

Yukari looks at me, her eyes conveying how zoned out of her mind she is at the moment. "Oh? Yes, sure. Just make sure you're back by eight in the morning, dear. The cafeteria will have snacks throughout the evening."

Oh. Right. There's an interior cafeteria… which is more like a big lounge room connected to a staff kitchen. There's both convenient foods and high quality shit, because while youkai don't need to eat, Yukari can just afford a chef or two to exist on the premises for no reason.

"Good." With that, I start to move. Seems like I'm all set to go.

"Hey, wait…!" Maribel takes exception to this, however. "You're going to the Hakurei New Years thing, right? I'm going there later tonight too. I'll be taking Shimokoa, and-"

"Cool." Don't give a fuck.

"We- we should go together!" Maribel proposes.

"No." My reply is prompt, and I just leave.

/ / / / FREAKIN' FRAKIN' FUCK MAN / / / /

It's not even seven in the evening, and I can already see stars in the evening sky.

...I decided to take a note from Tsuruko's book, and took a moment to go back to my room and change my outfit back into something not retarded.

"Alright…" Speaking of which, I'm still in my room.

Looking out onto the dark winter wonderland, I button up my nazi jacket. It's time for some good old-fashioned mischief. Except, I am a loli cat girl nazi youkai question mark, and I need to make a conscious effort to not murder anyone in my way with my ice cut attack and fireball.

And, sawblade. Literally just about the first spell I learned, and it's one of the most useful things ever.

Man, I've really kind of fucked things up, haven't I? Hmmh.

It'll be nice to walk and clear my head.

I turn to Shikome. She's holding the maid dress I had her help take off of me upside-down.

...When I stare at her, she rotates it sideways. A few moments more, and she steps up to me, placing it atop my head for no discernable reason.

Taking it back off, I chuck it at the couch.

Shikome looks between the couch and me.

"If you think I'm wearing that thing again, you have another thing coming." It is too troublesome to put on and take off. I needed help for both procedures. That's how you know it's a nightmare. How do the other assholes deal with it? Whatever.

Shikome sedately stares at the glass coffee table.

...I'm really not sure what she's done to the potted plant in the room's corner. Blue-black particles seem to be fungulating along the carpet and the ceiling, under and over the plant, but not on the nearby walls, caught by the plant's now blue luminescent glow.

"Why is it glowing?" I ask Shikome, gesturing to it. Usually, things are dead, not bioluminescent.

...Shikome stares out the window. Look at me for a moment, she points her arm out the window.

Hmm? What?

I look. I just see winter lights. From this angle, we can see the Hakurei party in the distance. Undoubtedly, the platinum and rainbow lights there are making up the fantastic stream of trickling colors past the dark edge of the village wall.

Shikome meets my gaze again, before looking past me, at her plant.

zap, zap. The luminescent pores on it flicker white, seemingly electric. Light bends around it in worrying waves, rippling and bending the space around it.

Then, a bubble of what looks like gravity leaves the plant, moving towards one of the room's lamps.

Thunk. The lamp tips over, magnetized, the bubble of light-bending energy dissipating.

...I think she's having fun. Did she make a magnetic plant? I'm not sure if I should be worried or not.

"Well…" Do I want to take her with me? If I do, Reimu is going to hyper-murder us. Unfortunately. Hmmh.

...Unless, we told the party to go fuck itself entierly, and simply roamed the night time countryside. I haven't really had a chance to do that since I came to Gensokyo, or since this whole shitstorm began.

So, you know what? Hmm.

...I'll stop by the party first. If that doesn't pan out interestingly, I'll come back for Shikome, and we will travel. I'm sure with her around, even if I collapse of exhaustion, things won't go bad.

"I may return before the evening ends," I tell her. "Mind your manners, and everything."

...Shikome leans forward, and licks me on the cheek.

"Why." Who has taught you this? I want names.

/ / / / FLUFFLES ON THE WASTELAND / / / /

When I exit into the hallway, adjusting my suit coat and my hat, I find my stride quickly.

Even these halls feel so… large. Being short is an adventure.

These talismans from that water bitch that attacked me and Vanilla… I still have them. That's right; Vanilla is still not with us. Where the hell did she go? I knew I was forgetting something.

Aah, fuck. Well, happy New Years indeed. I know what we'll be doing next, probably.

At this point I'm just scrambling for the status quo we had before. But, I know we'll get there. Those assholes don't have eyes on the back of their head. I'm sure I can come up with something. Probably.

...Anyway. Let's find the stairwell.

"Kitty~." Where would it be, again? "Oh kitty~..." Wait, what…?

Oh. There's a likely youkai lady here.

She strolls up. She looks like a middle-aged woman, clad in an over-designed kimono. She's got like six sticks in her brown hair bun, framing her head amidst her flowing brown hair.

Posing before me, she defines the difference in our heights. I'm not even tall enough to come up to her tits.

"You're an adorable little thing." She felt at her hips, before leaning over to patronize me. "Does kitty want some catnip?"

"Death." Did Mima toss catnip at me before? I think not. This random bitch is already better.

Smiling down at me, she parted some of her brown bangs. "I'm not joking. I've got catnip."

"Why?" I have to wonder.

She clicked her tongue. "For kitties like you, silly. This place has lots of you. I do like taking care of you, once in a while. I haven't seen you around before…"

When she reaches out for me, I backpedal. "Hold on. Hold on. I didn't say you could touch me."

The woman smiled, as if her heart melted. "My gods. C'mon, kitty. It's New Years. I live on the top floor, with the best view. We can take a bath, we can sleep. I'll let you do whatever you wa~nt."

"I'm heading to the party, at the shrine." This should get her off my ass.

"Oh…" She held some kind of stick, towards her lips. Is that a fan? I think it's a fan, simply held closed. "Well, we can go together. When we're done, we can come back and be warm."

"No thanks." What owner goes outside with their cat? "Don't have you in my plans."

...After giving me a neutral look, she shrugs. "Oh, well. I suppose you really do have something else to do. I won't stop you, if it's what you have to do."

Yes. "Begone, thot."

She giggled. "Tho- thot? ...I suppose I am." What. Right- internet. Why does this place have the internet…? "Say. Since you're a kitty… do you know of the shortcuts?"

Hmm? "The what?"

Thot McTitbag began to walk along in her sandals. She must be freezing her pale tits off. "Come on. I'll show you. It's a lot faster than cutting through the club. You don't see most of us actually taking the club foyer. Not even the normal back doors…"

"What's your name?" I wonder.

"Eme Ha." She looked back at me as we walked. "Platinum hostess. I don't do much work anymore, these days. I just hang out."

Hmm. "Why do they let you do that?" I can't help but wonder.

"I've put in plenty of time. I also do more on the dark side." The dark side. I see I've apparently been transported into Star Wars. Not the worst thing that's happened so far. ...Actually, no, that'd probably be the worst thing to have ever happened.

We came to a push door at the end of a short hallway.

Eme folds her arms beneath her breasts. "You know about the dark side, right?"

"This better not be Star Wars." If it is, I don't care what kind of youkai you are, I will kill you.

"Oh? Fufufu. No." She slightly furrowed her brows. "If you don't know, it's not my place to tell you." Ah.

Clack! It's cast open on its own. Cold air suddenly pushes in, and I inhale. Right; it's the dead of winter. Whatever, I'll get used to it. I have this suit on for a reason. Mima has taught me about fire, as well.

Panning her arm out, she gestured to the open door. "Step outside. If you fall, you can land atop a building below."

...I'm not sure if I'm acrobatic enough for that. What the hell is this door even doing here?

It's a push door out into the middle of fucking nowhere. It's a straight up three story drop.

"What's the idea?" I turn-

Whump! She slaps me on the back- and I fall forward.

thud. Before I can flail or yell or anything, I land-... on the air. On my face, which hurts. "Nngh."

...Standing up, I realize what this is. It's an invisible walkway.

"As long as you keep walking, the village won't detect you." She tells me. "If you can sense magic, you can keep following the trail. Be careful on the stairs."

"This feels like a big oversight." If you can just walk over the wall, I feel like the village is fucked.

"This pathway only responds to those who've cut a deal with Yakumo." Oh. ...I assume Maribel counts. "You know, to keep just any old hungry youkai from coming in."

Well. I see. A literal back door to the village. I assume this has ways of being intuitive… although, I'd like to ask.

"How wide is this?" I ask.

"As wide as the door." Eme pans her arm out, using the folded-up fan to gesture. "Look closely at the air."

...Oh. It's hard to see in the night, but there are glass-like seams in the air here.

"I'm sure your cat eyes can simply see the minute ways the light bends. If you were a mage alone, I'd remind you, use magic."

Oh. Right. How do I do that?

Channeling my magic in a generic way… I don't know… focus on the bridge?

It begins to glow. I feel something flowing from me, when I focus energy in a similar way to how I focus a fireball.

"Like this?" The bridge beneath my shoes glows brightest, the light spreading out.

"Like what?" Oh? "...I can see that you are applying magic. I cannot see its result. This is still a stealthy operation."

Ah. Fitting. "Can I not be seen?"

"Not unless you fall off, no."

With that, Eme turned around. "If you're ever feeling particularly excited, or bored… you can come to me. Floor four, room EME-6. Along the ARA hallway, if that doesn't help." God damn it.

Waving her off, just to spite the fact she lives in the ARA hallway, I just start moving.

"You're welco~me." She blows a kiss as I leave. "Mwah."

Yeah, yeah. Hmm.

As I move, I lose focus on my magic. Hopefully this shit doesn't bend for no reason.

Every now and then, I stop, looking down and focusing. Slowly, light spreads around me. This is some RPG rudimentary puzzle bullshit.

Walking through the windy night air, shivering my ass off, I put my hands in my pockets. Now this feels like a bad clothing commercial. Obviously the nazi uniform is the reason I'm walking through the sky.

I've gone to heaven because all the nazis died in World War II. If you buy this uniform, you too can die in the second World War and pass away.

I should probably actually be in hell. You know, this is second best, because I'm freezing my tits off.

The village wall is near-

thump. Wh- fuck! Fuck-

Thump- thump! I roll down a few steps before my cat powers activate and I stop myself.

Magic flares from my body, and the stairs beneath me are lit up. They came up faster than I expected.

Standing up again, my body energized with a little adrenaline, I step down faster and with more drive.

I descend overhead of some guards as they walk along in the bleak cold black along the village's walls. Eventually, I lower through the canopy of the forest trees just outside the village's borders, only some meters away from the walls themselves.

Eventually, the stairs start to dim again, but I'm near the bottom. Thankfully, it looks like no snow has caught on the platforms, or anything. Must be the magic, filtering it through.

...Eeh. After a last few unsure steps, I'm at the bottom.

There's a single, stone pad at the bottom, with two very dim green lanterns positioned at either end of the stairway. They're just torches on sticks, but they're not lit necessarily, they glow with a green light.

No idea how. Regardless… ah. When I use my shoes to brush snow off the stone, I find there's just, a pentagram etched into it.

...It's not far from the Hakurei trail itself. It's around… the fourth or fifth segment of wall north of the trail.

Hmm. Haven't thought about compass directions more than when I came to Gensokyo.

...Heading south to the Hakurei Trail, moving through the dark woods, I find the path there.

White, blue, and red lanterns mark the festive trail from the village to the shrine. The gate is wide open, and there's a good margin of guards positioned around the access point here…

Ah. Right. I'll have to infiltrate now. I'm sure things will be more lax further down the path.

Going through the brush… I follow alongside the trail, basically.

Lots of villagers in kimonos and things. The often undisturbed snow of the paths seems to have been cleaned out of the way.

Suddenly, some of the wear at the bottom of the Hakurei hill makes more sense. I hadn't even considered it before. There are slots and spots where stalls make sense. They're nothing as articulate as the village's stalls around the square; just stands with thin wood props and equally thin signs.

More importantly, these paper lanterns hung up around the evening are quite pretty.

...Fwish. Sliding on in, I intercept myself alongside a large crowd. Behind would be suspicious, before would make them stop… but right next to them I seem like I'm just joining them passively.

I get some strange looks at first, but no one seems to react explosively. I am in a suit. It's not familiar attire in the village, but it's not foreign any longer either.

After a few moments, I lower my guard and fall away from the crowd. Now that I'm in plain sight, I won't be suspicious when changing states.

Let's see what's for sale, actually.

"Tasty Cakes! Only one hundred yen!"

"New Years luck charms! Keep the youkai at bay!"

"Aoyama curse-dispelling talismans! Maintain your luck this season!"

"Dark-light destabilizing wards! Only sold today! You may never see them again!"

Seems to be a lot of weird… strange semi-tourism going on. Various faiths from the village's streets are here selling their shit on what is basically Reimu's turf. They're almost as numerous as the people selling event and party food.

It definitely has a casual state fair feel to it, except the actual workable range is even smaller.

Also, I'm sure half of these damn things don't even work. It's probably mostly just feel-good snake oil shit. That's why it's like… semi-tourism. Keepsakes and mementos that actually aren't exotic, but the faiths of the village sure know how to play off the Hakurei Shrine's atmosphere.

I'm sure Reimu wishes she could sell as much fake bullshit. Actually…

Coming up to Tsuruko's stand, I recognize her. I also recognize her blue-haired sister who tried to kill me and Vanilla a while ago. That damn water mage amalgamation.

"...Give me some of those." I'll take some of these bookmarks.

Tsuruko recognizes me, but acts as if she doesn't. "One hundred yen per talisman." Yeah, a buck per. What's the markup on that? I bet they hardly make up the paper the ink's printed on.

I hand over the cash. She hands over the talismans. I got like, five.

FWRAR. Oh.

My balance fucks up for a moment, and I stumble. I find that I'm taller.

...My cat ears twitch. Looking around, I notice my tail. My nazi outfit is struggling to fit my stature.

"Um." I hear my own deep voice for a moment. "Tha- thanks."

Tsuruko stares at me with wide eyes. Her blue-haired bitch next to her holds a hand to her mouth, remembering me.

I pocket the talismans in some random pocket-

FWRAR. With a flash of energy, I return to being a cat loli instead of a grown man. I forgot that those talismans, you know, did that. I actually still have some in some pocket somewhere, too…

Sprinting, I make my way to the stairs- and I make like a cat, sprinting up them on all fours.

"Hey! Ah… mmgh." Tsuruko calls out, but can't do anything. I'm fast as fuck, boy.

...Aagh. However, once I reach the top of the stairs, I feel the universal weakness debuff youkai get for being on Hakurei grounds.

It makes me feel like I have a cold. As in… my head aches, and so do my muscles. Considering how cold I already am, I don't like this at all.

"Nngh. Damn." There's enough people on the stairs for me to not look too creepy being here. I think. No one's tried to stop me, so I think I'm good…

I'd perhaps use my actual form as a disguise, but I'd still have cat ears, and let's face it: people are much faster to accuse a youkai man than a loli. Also, Reimu would recognize me and instantly kill me for no reason.

Up here, there are more stalls. More people, more shit…

However, immediately, I notice the people relaxing at the shrine itself.

Reimu stands before her donation box, smiling patiently. Marisa stands next to her, arms behind her own head.

...For some reason, exclusively Sakuya and Meiling are somewhere to the left, in the yard.

Speaking of, someone has eradicated the snow to the point it's just gone in the immediate vicinity of the shrine.

Who else is here? ...I see Byakuren along the right. Is that Miko whore around? I have some choice words about the current state of the village's council seat hot potato…

As if I can do anything right now. I'd probably kick Miko in the shin and then get instantly gibbed by literally everyone in eyeshot.

Then, along a bench near the front steps, I see them.

Youmu is seated next to Yuyuko, and they seem to be eating some kind of snack. Takoyaki?

I suppose youkai are allowed. I figured as much. It's just an effort to make yourself seem like a youkai from the village, rather than a random freak jumping out of the woods to eat people.

Regardless… I'm here now.

I instantly remember why I don't bother to go to events.

There's nothing for me to do here. The stalls are meaningless. The lights look nice, but… the atmosphere is too awkward. I can't think.

The night sky is full of stars. You know what? I ought to go back and get Shikome.

Facing the stairs again, I sigh, and start to move.

"Hey!" Oh?

Maribel is on the stairs. She gestures for me. "C'mon, Matt." Wha- don't you come on Matt me.

She's making an effort not to pass the apex of the stairs. Hmmh.

Following her back down through the shrine's festively decorated torii gates, we reach the bottom of the hill again, where the rando party is really happening.

Shimokoa is down here, in some white-grey kimono with a jarringly simple pattern of grey sakuras, instead of her usual mint favorite.

Maribel stops, facing me and Shimokoa.

"Look…"

Clad in a yellow-silver kimono of some kind, Maribel gives us a nod, and reaches out.

She takes my right hand, and Shimokoa's left.

Forcing our hands to overlay one another in the center of our formation, Maribel places her own hand atop ours.

...I like how I didn't even participate in this, it just happened. "What is this power of friendship bullshit?"

Maribel snorts. "Look. Matt, Shimokoa. I know I haven't been a good person. I know my intentions have been… maybe good, but being the crappy person I am, I went about 'em in a bad way."

Hmm?

I gauge Shimokoa's reply. ...She simply looks empty.

"I don't want us to fight. I don't want you guys to feel bad. I know you've both been through hell." Maribel interlocks her fingers together, idly. "And I know none of us are innocent."

She looks at Shimokoa. "You want to love and learn. There's so much you don't know. I'm not gonna pretend I know how to tell you what I see in a way you'd appreciate. Shimokoa, when you're so self-destructive about your ideals, you frustrate me to no end. Not 'cause I disagree with you. Because I want you to… be someone. Look at Genkan. She's become someone. You just can't see what she's become."

Shimokoa nods. "I believe… I'm starting to see. My old methods were not true. Now… all I must do is…"

Hmm?

"Convince Brad that he isn't superior after all." Shimokoa decided. "To show him what I believe. If he and Genkan realize their vulnerability, the same I suffered, then they will respect all of my efforts. They will bow to me."

...Maribel makes an 'o' shape with her mouth.

It all comes back to him. Really? These whackjobs are wasting their time.

"Brad is a monster, like any of us." Shimokoa nods. "Therefore, he must come to empathize with the gravity of what being a monster entails. He will be taught the responsibility. With our fragments of sorrow, we will teach him respect."

...Maribel gives me a spooked look.

"I have no idea how much crack either of you are smoking." I think Shimokoa suffered severe brain damage in her last fight.

Shimokoa tries to appeal to me. "Matt, Sabrina, whoever you are… well… you wouldn't know who Brad is, would you?"

"No idea." Whatever he's doing is his problem. Leave me outta it.

"Ah. Sorry for implicating you, then…"

Shimokoa just said 'sorry'.

Maribel double-takes for like the third time in the past moment.

"It's just…" Shimokoa gazes tiredly at me. I can tell she's been crying. "Sabrina. Do you understand what it's like to lose your loved ones?"

"Don't have any." Nope.

...Shimokoa gazes at the floor, conflicted.

Nothing else? Oh, okay. Conversation's over. Guess I broke her.

Maribel chuckles under her breath. "Does Shikome not count, Matt?"

"I can't possibly remember asking." ...I don't even know how I came up with that one.

Maribel beams at me. "Matt, come on, you went on a quest and put up with Mima, for her. Obviously you care."

"...So I care. So what?" What does it matter to you?

"I wanna be friends with you too." Maribel tells me.

"Application denied." Not in the mood for your proto-Yukari bullshit.

"But-...!" Maribel huffs.

"Nuh uh, no buts." I tell her. "You already have Matt at home."

...Maribel blinks. I see Renko walking around in the crowd behind her, before she stopped at a stall.

Maribel shook her head. "I- I don't know what you mean by that! But-..."

"I mean you have enough friends." Take a hint already.

"But, Matt-"

"Whatever hell I've drafted for myself, I'll see through, myself."

...Maribel huffs, unable to logic this out, fully encumbered by my firm refusal.

"Most of the wrong you've done is by circumstance, right?" Maribel asks. "You wanted to get to know people. You wanted to have… a whacky anime fun time, right?"

"Fuck you." If this is how it's going to be, I won't hide my claws.

"I'm not making fun of you. That's what you wanted, right?"

"You're such a know-it-all." This feels right to say, with my current voice.

"...Well. Sorry."

"Sorry doesn't mean anything." You can say 'sorry' all you damn well please. Sorry, sorry, sorry. "If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have to be sorry."

"I don't mean to be a jerk. That's what I mean. That's what you're ignoring."

"You can mean whatever you want. That doesn't make you not a know-it-all."

"I don't know it all. I only know what I know."

Hmmh. "You have a funny way of doing that. Are you sure you aren't just full of yourself?"

"I'm trying not to be. You're being insensitive to what I'm trying to do..."

Well. "Try harder."

She smiles incredulously. "I- I'm doing what I can. And- I know I've been approaching things from a sorta dumb angle. But, I wanna change that. I just need you guys to believe."

Hmph. "We'll see." Unlike Shimokoa, I'd like to not overthink the fuck out of this. Your worth will be proven in time. I can back out the moment I find out what the hell you're up to. From now on, if someone has a secret, I will find out what they're hiding.

...Maribel sighs. "Good. Now…"

She lets go of our hands, and turns around.

Renko stands there, in her regular school outfit. I see she's caught up with us.

"Hey, Renko." Maribel greets her. "Happy New Years."

Renko's brows twitch.

/ / / / FREAKIN HAKUGYOKUROU / / / /

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

ANOTHER FATASS CHAPTER

these really have turned into the "enemy turn" chapters yeehaw

the psychological theory stuff i put yukari through makes enough sense, but in the end theory is theory. it explains social conflict readily enough (when the lines of two different approaches cross) but ultimately it doesn't propose a solution to such ends necessarily

as a whole, this felt like a pretty nice chapter that really looked into all three of the central matt chapter people

a lot more time spent on the shimokoa psychology than in brad's perspective; it really takes an external thing to show shimokoa where she's screwing up, and being met by direct opposition- and losing- doesn't even prove to shimokoa where she's wrong

remember: bad outcomes and displeasure do not equal debunking in the context of how correct someone's personal belief of a situation goes

the difference between a correct and incorrect belief is the information used beforehand. "one who knows nothing understands nothing" is true because belief without knowledge is guessing, whereas belief with knowledge is understanding

you can't tell someone the word "understanding" and expect them to understand just how much effort it takes to understand. that's the real funny part…! even simple words can become buzzwords when succinctity fails and people just take it like an insult

YEAH WAHOO

this fluffle is a menace to the peace and needs to be stopped

maribel's on some real smooth the brain 2 shit . w .

as always, see you all next time!