(in which assfuck sails at midnight)

The S.S. BONER ascends over the clouds, slowly arcing into the air!

The Rainbow Cruise theme from Super Smash Bros Melee plays from the ship's on-deck speakers, as the elevation of the ship stabilizes across the deck!

"Yeah man!" I point a generic cast-iron at the edge a' the ship! "Full speed ahead!"

...Genkan hurries to the deck's edge with me, staring off into the clouds with a big smile. She's excited, dude!

When I stare at her being smiley and excited, she turns to me! "I've been waiting for this since you announced this idea yesterday. It truly is as beautiful as I expected."

"Yeah yo!" Aw!

...Maria's near the mast, looking spooked!

Flandre and Remilia are at a tea table on the ship's midst, sippin' Kool-Aid out of some champagne glasses!

As for what they're doin', they're just kinda vibin'. Flandre's resting after extending the ship's power with hers, and Remi's just kinda taking in the sights too...

Movin' across the deck with my hands behind my back, I behold the craft!

Y'know, I can't lie, this shit's cool! Hey ma- if you could see me now! Arms spread wide off the starboard bow!

FRRRRRR. When I near the side edges, I see the water jets beneath the ship pumping away indefinitely! I'm not entirely sure how that shit works- but that's why I paid the kappa, yeah woohoo!

"You know, Brad…" Ooh. Maria has approached me! "I didn't think it was weird the other day, or while you were building it… but what the heck." She wasn't expectin' it to actually be done!

"Yeah woohoo!" But, like, yo.

We can see the clouds. We can see the atmosphere overhead a' the clouds, we're on some shit.

Wind's rippin' around my coat, and we cannot be stopped, because we are on a boat!

Creak! Sammy casts open the door to the inner cabin, and stumbles outside!

"What-" She's never been this high before! "What the fuck."

"Yeahahah!" I'm really excited to get to actually fly this thing!

Sammy ran up to the guard rail a' the ship, and looked over the edge! "What- in the hell!? Dude- I thought you were playin' wit' the airship thing! Whahahat the fuck!?"

If ya don't remember, Sammy's this short chick wit' long curly brown hair we picked up from the Golden Grin for really no good reason!

...I- I like how, I didn't see when, but when we'd pushed through the clouds earlier, Remi and Flan's tea table gained a sun umbrella, one which also refuses to move.

When I move back to the front of the deck, Genkan turns to me again. "If we look up, we can see the stars." Wait, really!?

Shit, yeah! Hooh, fuck! That's powerful!

Yeah! "Ass fuck sails at midnight!"

"Br- Brad…" Genkan objects!

"Yeahahaha~h!" I have conquered the sky! This ain't sea world, son!

...I- I like how we just dragged Sammy along 'cause she was morbidly curious!

"Maria- what the fuck!" Sammy can't believe it! "Who the fuck is Brad!? Whaat…!?"

Maria chuckled! "Wha- what do you mean?"

"Dude!" Sammy gestured to the edge of the ship! "We're on a fuckin' air ship! This is real as it gets! The village's only dreamed of this shit- and you're all just- casually doin' it…!? You guys could be zillionares!"

We're on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget! Yeah!

Holdin' my arms out, I call out! "Poseidon! Look at me!"

Genkan gently slaps my arm. "Wrong god." Ouh.

Actually, doesn't Kanako rule the sky here? "...Yasaka! Look at me! Yo ho ho ho!"

"I-... I don't think we gotta worry about money." Maria tells 'er!

"The hell do ya mean!?" Sammy really can't get over this! "Oh my god! What the fu~ck…"

Ha-chan runs out from the lower deck! "Wow!"

Woosh! She leaps off- and starts having to fly really hard to keep up with the ship! "Oh- omigod- omigod- eeee-"

thump! Ha-chan flops and rolls onto the deck again, just before the cabin part outran her! "Ouf…"

Yeah! Wahaha! We have done it, sons! We have mastered air!

...We slowly fly a circle around Gensokyo's premises, currently just drawing a circle around the Hakurei-Scarlet regions.

From up here, we can get some good looks at all of Gensokyo.

East of the village is the Hakurei Shrine, and in a straight line from there, the Misty Lake, then the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Nothing but woods past that.

North of the village is the Forest of Magic. The small cliffside housing Genkan's cave is barely visible from here. North-west is the sunflower field, past the stinky edge of the Forest of Magic.

South of the village is a plain, leading to the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.

West of the village is some random foot hills and shit, leading eventually to the Sanzu River. Never really been down there, have I? Huh. Maybe for the better!

South-east is Youkai Mountain, and everything it entails. Bet the tengu are assholes about their air space!

"Holy~ shit." Man. "We could be map makers!"

"Shit!" Sammy looks around fervently! "Anyone got writin' shit!?"

"No." Maria snorts at 'er.

"Damn it! How the hell'm I supposed ta sell maps if I don't got anything to map with!?" I- I like how Sammy's apparently very opportunistic about money.

"There's just so much Gensokyo." Man…

If there weren't a New Years party to think about later, we could totally just stop anywhere. We could even stop in Heaven!

"There is…" Maria agrees!

...Ha-chan romps up to us! "Uhm- on second thought, I'm afraid of heights!"

"You can fly, Hana." Maria contests her opinion!

"But it's still scary!" Ha-chan runs up to the rail of the ship, and looks down! "Woah!" She leaps back from the rail again, when the wind off the starboard side meets her hair!

The frills a' her maid outfit whip around, and I see her shudder. Oh, right, I oughta give her the uuh… ice crown again!

Fwi- Click! Changing from my suit into my camo-mono, I also replace my nazi officer cap with the greek wreathe thing to hand over.

"Here, Ha-chan." Have a Thanksgiving. "You can be the ancestral bird."

...Ha-chan cautiously accepts the crown! "I- I don't wanna be a bird."

"But you can be ancestral!" Yeah dude!

"I dunno if I wanna be cestral!" What…!

Sammy runs up to us! "What the hell's with the music, dude!?" Ooh, yeah!

She means the Rainbow Cruise theme from Super Smash Bros. Melee…! "It's the musical score!" Yeah man!

"Musical score!?" I like how she knows what video games are, but seems confounded by the idea of a musical score! "Shit's carnival music, bro!"

"Yeah dude!" The energetic start of the song starts every like, minute and a half!

Aw, yeah! Wham- and- wham- and-

Jumpin', I double jump- oh god I forgot how physics work!

After double-jumping, the ship moved forward faster than me. I'm pulled back- or rather, the ship moves forward under me!

Thud! When I land I just collapse! "Ouh!"

Sammy held a hand before her own face! "Oh- gosh! Don't die now, y'fuckin' stickman!" Wahaha!

Genkan looks pitying, as she approaches… "Brad? Are you okay?"

Maria takes exception to this exchange! "A week or two ago, you wouldn't be asking that. You'd be giving him a stare instead."

...Genkan gives Maria a stare in return! "I think the past few weeks have been anything but ordinary."

Sammy chips into that! "How long you two been together again? Supposedly?"

Gradually, Genkan winds herself up to reply after taking pause as the 'supposedly' part! "A month or so? Something like that."

"Oh. Oh, shit, I still have a chance!" Sammy seems really surprised by this!

Genkan furrows her brows! Then, she shakes her head. "If you think so."

"How many dates!?" Sammy grinned at her!

"Dates?" Genkan pursed her lips. "...In retrospect, it's sort of like me and Brad have been on one big date since we met. Perhaps all the individual places we stop are sort of like dates. Or…"

Maria snorts. "I'm gonna go ahead and say the time we all stopped at the mansion and you guys fucked was a date."

"I- mmh." Genkan wanted to object, but was unable. "I suppose it was. ...I suppose this ship ride could count too."

Sammy nods her head once. "You suppose a lotta things, frosty. How 'bout you suppose, fer certain, whether this is a date 'er not!? ...Or- actually, did you two fuck yet!?"

"Your friend will not survive the winter, Maria." Genkan gives a grim forecast…!

Maria looks easy. "Yeah, that makes like, the fifteenth person. Guess it's gonna be a cold one, this year." Yeehaw!

...Genkan looks over at me, trying to find sympathy! However, I was still on a heap on the floor this entire time.

"Um." Realizing this, she hovers closer! Wha- how can you just hover along with the ship and be fine!? Man. "Are you actually okay?"

"Yeah- I was just takin' a good close look at the floor." Unironically I mean- this deck is freakin' clean 'cause no one's walked on it. Ow- fuck- my pinky got a spliter! Fuck! Damn it! God…! Aaah!

"Do not use that sarcasm with me." Genkan thinks I'm being sarcastic!

"I really was appreciating being on the floor!" I clarify my position! "I did, however, get a splinter in the last like ten seconds- that actually hurts-... or rather, s'really annoying!" It's way more annoying than the fall I took!

Standing up, I freakin'...

"Ooh- lemme see!" Sammy attempts to harass me! "...No, really- I used ta get a lot back where I come from!"

What, are you just also from Montana? I remember there was a different whore at the Golden Grin who was from Montana. "Where're you from on the outside!?"

"Oh, like, Iowa." Oh. Wait.

That's… a state, yeah. It's a united state, within the United States!

"Who the fuck lives in Iowa." I forgot that was a state.

"Me, dumbass!" Good, okay, glad we cleared that up! "Gimme that hand!"

Sammy grabs my arm!

Genkan grabs the same arm. We both look at her. She's spooky...

Sensing the chaos, Ha-chan grabs my other arm!

"Hey, princess, lemme." Sammy pulls-

Genkan holds up my arm, being way stronger. Sammy- oh god she hangs onto my forearm with her two arms like it's a monkey bar-

"Yo- ow- yo don't do that-" Holy shit that hurts-

CRACK! That was me!

"Aaaaaaaa~!" Fuuuuuck!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Hyrule Temple from Melee now plays over us drifting through the aether. I kinda wanted to chuck some fluffles off the deck before Rainbow Cruise was over, but getting my arm broken kind of stopped the momentum!

"This is the music that plays when Genkan tries to nuzzle me." Yeah man.

...Genkan is torn between giving me a predatory look, and still sporting the sympathetic one she had while she was reversing my bone snappage. Well- s'more like my elbow was dislocated. Still fucking painful!

Sammy sits near us, arm against a knee, and her chin in her hand!

You know, healing magic can fix dislocated arms, but y'know what it can't fix?

"I still have this fucking splinter in my hand." Freakin'...!

Holding up my hand, I just- pick at this speck I see! Ohp-...

Oh, huh, I took it out. "Nevermind!"

Grinning incredulously, Maria scratches at her own hair. "You guys are freaking-... dumb."

"I would not have raised Brad's arm if I knew it was about to be used as a monkey bar." Genkan reasons!

Sammy contests! "I didn't know you were that damn strong! An' I didn't think Brad's arm would be that damn weak!"

Genkan shook her head. "Still. I apologize for injuring you."

"It's okay." You're really snug, so it's hard to stay mad. "I'm gonna brush a fluffle against you."

"Don't do that."

Y'know, the Melee Hyrule Temple theme really fits her. It's eventful enough to be schizophrenic, but also moody enough to embody her posture.

...However, after a few moments of us just existing in the music, Maria takes exception! "I've only heard a few band performances… but, Brad…" Maria really wants to protest my choices in music! "For some reason, every song you pick is weird."

"But it fits Genkan!" I must argue this with a non-sequitur! "Don't you think?"

"Fits-... me?" Genkan suddenly starts paying attention! "...I'm not sure how to take that."

...Maria looks at Sammy! "Sammy, what kind of music is this?"

"Fuck if I know. Castle music." Yeah woohoo!

Maria's face faults. "Ca- castle music? Is that even a genre?"

Sammy grins. "No."

...Genkan looks around experimentally. Then, she smiles. "I do like how it feels. Though… perhaps, something is missing."

"Y'know what? Let's vibe." I decide to relax, dude. "C'mere, Genkan."

"Va- vibe?" Genkan is curious! "What do you mean?"

Coming up to her, I try to walk around her, only for her to constantly rotate to center on me.

I stop. She pauses, looking neutral.

I continue! She starts rotating again on a delay!

Moving left and right, I start trying to juke her. Genkan starts panning left and right, defending against the jukes. Her chest sways around in the process, but that's a side detail!

"Aw!" Yeah! "Sammy's 'boutta smack your ass!"

Genkan faces Sammy, who is just sitting there! "Hmm?"

fwish. Using my gravity boots, I get behind Genkan with a quick slide. A little jiggle a' the boot triggers!

Genkan tries to turn around again, but I brush aside her hair and speak into her neck. "Boo."

"Eee- aah…" Yeah, woohoo! Genkan cringed!

"I made Genkan nuzzleable!" Yeah dude! "I'm gonna make ya cringe summore-"

Genkan- oh god-

"I'm gonna talk into- your- neck." Genkan instantly strafes around me and does the same to me! "...It's only been a few days, and you smell." She takes into the nape a' my neck, bringing her face up and down- holy shit…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: MARIA'S PERSPECTIVE ====

That's it. I'm gonna have to change this music. If this is the music that plays on the outside, it's no wonder everyone's crazy.

I start to move for the cabin, while Brad and Genkan molest each other.

...Man. These past few days have been weird. Actually- no, I've been thinking that a lot. I should just embrace it by this point.

Weird is the new normal. ...I might eventually end up going back to a quieter life, but I won't forget all the stuff we've done. So much more is possible than I'd have ever imagined.

Imagining the impossible is one of the roles of a magician, isn't it? Aside from 'making the impossible work' or whatever other feel-good self-help phrase you can think of when it comes to magic.

Shimokoa's just kind of… an animal. But, I think Brad and Genkan might've finally gotten through to her.

Maribel's a weirdo too. She seems to have a personal problem with how Brad exists. I don't really get it.

But… I suppose the other half of magic is using it to fight and kill. In order to defend the impossible, like dreams and stuff. Stuff that's only impossible because monsters make it so, human, animal, youkai or otherwise.

Our last fight with Shimokoa… it was overwhelming. Her power was extreme. Her magic signature was exponentially higher than it is now. So, I'm not so scared.

That spirit that was in her… whatever it was, it was feeding her a terrifying amount of magic.

I thought me and Brad and Genkan were all gonna die. But, I had no choice but to fight. And… well… if Shimokoa was even a little of a mage herself, she could've used that spirit's power to cataclysmic potential.

In the end though, she was just a yuki-onna through and through. Even her strongest techniques were just parodies of ones she always used. Big ice blades, big ice shockwaves… ice and cold. That's why she relied on just clubbing away at us, for what good it did.

If I get wrapped up in my thoughts, Hana's gonna sneak up on me.

...I turn abruptly before climbing the ladder.

Hana snuck up on me. I caught her in the act. She smiles wider, giggling a little, knowing I found her out.

Now that she's been disarmed, I ignore her and climb the ladder outside the cabin. Once I'm up, I step inside. Woah. There's… so much less wind.

Oh? Is this the control panel? Wow. It's… so glowy.

Text is displayed in English on the glowy panel built into where there might be a wheel on a pirate ship. How is this thing steered? I hope Brad knows…

Well, whatever. Um.

There's a music note here.

"Ooh!" Aw, crap. Sammy came with me. "What's this room got!?"

"Sammy, get." I'll make her scoot. "This is a room for smart people. You're not that."

"Woah, damn, burn." Sammy acts physically impacted for a moment. "Hooh shit! What's that!?" She skirts past me, looking at the control panel.

I sigh. "If you touch that-"

She touches it.

...Well, the music changed. We both pause a moment, listening to it.

"...Where the fuck is Mario Judah?" Uuh. This already doesn't sound like a good party song.

Sammy turns to grin at me. "I ought to get an airship. This shit's aesthetic. Look at how the light comes through the glass shield. Mars, I could sleep in here."

"Mars?" Of all the things to call me…

"I know a Mars, actually. Sexy lady." Sammy smiled warmer. "But yer mean enough to be a Mars, Mary."

"I'm a big dog, big bear, nugget, I'm a lion. I'm the predator of the prey that is hiding." Okay, what…? "My oh my I have found you, nugget! Don't you run from me, li'l nugge~t!" Why is it so aggressive!?

Sammy beams at the control panel. "Hehehe~! Aw, yeah! A real organ smashin' jam!"

"You are not fast enough! You are not brave enough! You are now out of luck- and now it's time for you to die very rou~gh!" Why…!?

Okay, no, that does it. I poke the thing Sammy poked to change the song.

Sammy deflated. "Wha- Mars, I was jammin'."

"No you weren't." No more of that.

"Wha- what do you mean, I weren't!?"

"I meant you weren't."

...Sammy's mouth hangs open after I make my assertion. She's weirdly awed, for some reason. "You know, y'oughta be a hostess."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that-"

Oh! Woah. The music started really suddenly! What kind of instrument is that?

...This has so much energy it's actually okay. Not the weird grating half-and-half Brad was playing. I'm kinda interested.

"My friends I stand before you! To tell a truth most dire! There lurks a traitor in our midst- who hath evoked the captain's ire!" Oh…

Sammy purses her lips. I look out at the deck, and see Brad giving us a thumbs-up.

"He don't deserve no mercy! We ought to shoot him with a gun! But I am not an evil man- so first let's have a little fun! We'll tie that scoundrel to a rope, and throw him overboard!"

Oh…

"Drag him underneath the ship! A terrifying, deadly trip!"

I think I see now.

"Keelhaul that filthy landlubber, send him down to the depths below! Make that bastard walk the plank with a bottle of rum and a yo ho ho!"

Sammy's jaw hung open. "Scottish pirate metal…!? Ooouuu~!"

I'm gonna go beat Brad up. But first- maybe make this stop playing-

Click.

"What!" Sammy looks offended. "Mary, you've got a heart a' fire, but your taste is trash!"

"But it was so loud!" If that played for thirty more minutes I'd really go crazy!

"An' I bet Brad makes ya squeal loud, but that ain't a problem, is it!?"

...I face Sammy. "I'm gonna make you die very rough."

Sammy gets a kick out of that. "Pfhuhu- hehehe~! Oo- oh god…"

...What's the next song? Oh.

It's something really quiet. That's… a lot better.

It's like a music box song. Yeah.

...Sammy's cool with it too. She kinda mellows out, hearing it.

Yeah. That's cool.

"Let's get outta here." I move to leave the helm.

...Ooh. I- I never knew climbing a ladder downwards would be kinda scary and awkward, but here we are. It's not something you think about until you've gotta do it.

Anyway, now that I'm out on the cold deck, beholding the gradually brightening evening stars, I move to reconvene with the guys.

"Incredulous fluffles are the best thing." Brad has some provoking thoughts when I return.

Sammy put her arms on my shoulders. "Mating press me, bro! Uoouugh!" What the fuck kinda noise was that? Sammy?

"I vote to throw Sammy off of the ship." Genkan starts the vote.

"I vote to make her sniff this fluffle." Brad has a fluffle.

The fluffle flares its fins out, and its legs. Its shell nose opens, and it does just emanate incredulity.

Brad's mouth opens, absolutely overjoyed, as he gestures to the rambunctious fluffle. He looks so genuinely happy…

Sammy smirks. "...Uugh. Fine. I guess I'll let 'em be my li'l pogchamp. Give 'em here."

Brad's joy is vanquished in an instant, and he gives Sammy a dead serious stare. "We have to destroy Sammy."

"Agreed." Genkan smiles, drifting closer to him.

"Wha- hahaha!?" Sammy runs in the opposite direction. "Y'ain't takin' me alive, fuckos!"

She runs up to the cabin door, and swings it open.

"Who the hell're you! Get outta the way!"

boof! "Aa- aa!" Wait- who the heck was that? ...Sammy just knocked someone totally unknown out of the way.

Clack! Sammy shut the door too. ...Well, I'm sure she can handle herself.

...When I look at Brad again, he has a mournful look.

He's holding a bowling ball over the edge of the ship. Looking back at me, he looks absolutely terrified. Genkan's not watching him, instead staring in the direction Sammy went.

...What? Why? What-... what are you doing?

Genkan looks at me, slightly slyly. I point at Brad.

Brad drops the bowling ball, and jumps into some excited posture with his arms up, beaming instead.

Genkan looks back at him. "...What are you doing?"

"None." What…!?

I run up to the ledge- and look over!

Oh my god- I can see the bowling ball fall! Brad, why…!? It's gone!

"Brad dropped a bowling ball off the edge!" … "For no good reason!" It- took me a moment to add the last part!

"...When?" Genkan is confused. Wha-

Brad interjects. "The bowling ball dropped itself." What- no!

Genkan comes up to the rail, and looks over it.

"...Brad?" She looks over at him.

He's grinning at us. "Hi…!"

"What did you just do?" She looks over the ledge again!

It's too far for her to see. But-

Oh. I just saw it make impact, into a field of snow. All that snow got destroyed. Snow fairies are flying around everywhere down there.

"Next time we get into a boss fight, we ought to just unleash aerial bombardment." Brad has a horrible plan now. "Hey- d'ya think that Shikome thing girl thing would collapse from anywhere between one to twelve bowling balls dropped from high-orbit…!?"

Expression really vague, Genkan nods. "What provoked you to jump to this conclusion…?" What do you mean, 'what'? He just dropped a bowling ball from orbit!

"Ouh, I dunno man. I dunno man!" That's not convincing at all!

And so, Genkan was deceived. She never got to see him drop the bowling ball. She continues to drift there, looking slightly mystified.

...I don't laugh, but there's just-... recurring chuckles, the kind that make your chest shake a little. Yeah. What the heck just happened?

Genkan senses the horrible energy after the fact, and decides to harass Brad. "What did you do?" She grabs him, and ruffles his hair.

"Wha- ouh god! Wha- hohoh!"

...Maybe I should check and make sure Sammy didn't get murdered by the stowaway bandits or something. I mean, considering her, she might've found a way to screw them or something.

Actually… she can wait a moment. She'd probably scream bloody murder if it came down to it. I know we're on a ship, but Sammy's loud. She's little, which means she's the loudest.

Ahem. That wasn't an innuendo, or anything.

Aa- anyway… I sometimes keep track of Hana while everyone's busy talking over each other. Especially pertinent today, where basically no one got a word in edgewise, so she was just spinning around and taking in the sky.

She's standing, um… starboard? Yeah. On the right of the ship, looking out at the sky.

What's she looking at? Well…

Oh! Is that…?

Fairies? There's fairies out there.

Hold on.

Their colors are cyan and yellow. They're inhabiting the borders of a particularly thick snow cloud, just along Gensokyo's edge.

"Hey, Brad." Let's get his attention.

Brad looks at me. "Hi, friend." Friend…

"Steer the ship towards those fairies over there. Get close, but don't um, go through them, in case they try and beat up the ship."

We do have Remilia and Flandre here. They'd probably put a quick stop to any harassment. But, I don't think me, him and Genkan can clean up a horde of pests alone without some serious hassle.

"Fairies over where?" Brad looks where I point, and moves across the deck to get a better look. "Ooh… hoh, shit!"

With that, he starts to move. "I'll try! It'd probably be a good idea to get more familiar with the steering controls!"

...Wa- wait, you mean, you weren't already? ...I'm sure he'll find a handle on it.

"Fairies?" Genkan questions the fairy cloud. "There are so many..."

Yeah. There's… from where we are, there's a lot over there.

"Woa~h." Hana beholds the fairy horde. "What's going on over there…?" Her curiosity's piqued.

Remilia speaks up, from her and her sister's silent relaxation nearby us. "You all really don't know?"

"We don't live in the sky." I tell her.

"I don't go outside often." Genkan's reply is just as straight-forward.

"I don't know!" Hana- yeah.

"...You average beings probably can't tell, but that's a fairy war." Um? A fairy war? "Looks like it's between the sun and electricity. There are a few cloud fairies in there, aiding the electric ones."

Aah. Wait… why?

"Why would they do that?" I know fairies can be uppity, but… war?

"Because the sun is parting the clouds, as well as the thunder." Remilia concludes. "That's just basic weather. The fairies, unable to do more than spectate this, get indignant. The electricity fairies and cloud fairies don't want all their hard work to go to waste. However, the sun fairies are offended that their massive playspace is being obstructed by something so contrasting."

"What if they got along?" Genkan proposed.

Remilia snorted. "...I don't think you understand the gravity of what you just proposed. If they got along, they would not be them. The earth neither would be as it is."

Oh? I'd know more than Genkan about actual elementalism… "Is it because they represent nature, and the elements?"

Remilia nods. "Correct. Imagine if fire and ice got along. The earth's heat would equalize."

What…? "But- thermodynamics and energy only like… go a certain way."

"Yes, and so, the two parties involved aren't friends." ...Ah. "You see, young Maria, the fairies are based off of the laws of reality. Not the other way around. However, given their current shape… if they had enough power and the right judgment, they could momentarily skew things like the elements. Such is how magic can work from mere energy."

I think we skipped a few steps there, but okay.

"Without such reality-bending prowess, a fantasy would be impossible, yes?" Remilia gives me one nod, as if commanding me to accept her statement. "If you've taken even a few walks through Gensokyo, you'll notice the fairy infestation. That was no accident."

Ah. I see we're getting conspiratorial. "So someone put them there?"

"Obviously."

...Hu~h. Considering the conversations we've had with elemental things before… that might be likely. But, I don't know if I'm about to believe Remilia…

Flandre spills the beans. "You're just recitin' stuff Patchy told ya…" Oh…

Well, if Patchouli actually said all of this, then I'd have more reason to believe.

Remilia's indignation actually gives her more credibility. "You- really didn't have to just go and say that! Mmrn. Flandre- you have an issue."

"An issue…?"

"Yes, an issue."

"What kind?"

Remilia draws four playing cards from nowhere, each a four of a different suite. "Four of a kind."

Flandre has a pained grin. "Shut up."

Remilia's eyebrows raise teasingly. "You think you can just go saying things, sister. Yet, I am not allowed the same courtesy? Hypocritical jester, you."

"Remi, I'm gonna eat your wings. Eat, eat, eat 'em up…"

"I dare you. I know how they taste. They taste like bat. Leathery and chewy. Lots of cartilage. Practically like coagulated shadow. Not fun."

"Then I'll just bite 'em off…"

Well, I'll leave them both to that. However long they're going to be going at it.

Remilia on her own can talk for ten freaking days. Flandre on her own doesn't usually has as much to say, but her energy alone more than makes up for it.

Together? You can forget it. They hog the spotlight 'cause they keep fighting for it. Through their conflict, they shine ever brighter.

...Woah. That was really poetic of me.

Maybe the same applies of nature. Through the conflict of the elements, each element is more distinct… you'll never get overheating and freezing confused, after all. You'd never confuse an icecube for a flame.

...Wait. Well... actually. The numb sensation when you get frostburn on your hands is a lot like… well, burning. Of course, that's just our perceptions. We're so cold it feels like it burns; the infectious pain of temperature similar. Yet, it's still not the agonizing hell of burning alive, by far. Even if it's reminiscent, it's way slower.

Similar… 'cause they're temperature things. Yet, still very different.

Elements are cool.

"Hey, Genkan?" I wonder… "What similarities do you think fire and frost share?"

...Genkan wasn't ready for this question. She just gives me a wounded look, for a moment. Um… I- I'm sorry Genkan.

"Mmm…" She thinks about it a little harder. "They're both matters of temperature. And… elements. They're opposites. They share horrible deaths. But…"

She snaps her fingers. "Ah. When they meet at stable temperature, life flourishes, and the other elements around them become more stable too."

...Ah. Dang. Didn't even think of that. Here I was, getting the idea that Genkan didn't want to bother to think about that kind of thing… yet, she came up with something I combed over. Maybe she just took a different angle. One less analytical of the science, and more basic.

"Huh." Yeah, um- "I didn't think of that. I was just thinking about the science, kind of. They both follow the rules set for temperature… but, yeah. I thought more about how they differed, rather than how they came together."

"I think unique positions are fascinating… but not forever. I can't imagine being a fairy." Genkan says something a little weird…

Because- she's a yuki-onna! "Genkan- you are ice. You are in a permanent unique position!"

Genkan smiles awkwardly. "Well. Yes. Perhaps I should clarify… the world is much more interesting like this. Even if I were to go back home and relax before I'd let Brad live there, it'd be an empty feeling compared to what I've seen and felt out here."

She looks out at the fairy cloud. "If I were a fairy, so firmly tied to an element, I don't think I'd have cared about any of that. And… even as a being of snow, the irony is that the soul matter we consume is still heat. The energy we use at our cores is still the same energy and heat any other being would need to survive."

She's right. From how a yuki-onna seems to work, it's more like… they shell their energy reserves with cold, kind of like how an igloo works.

That doesn't explain their above-average physical strength or full-on ice powers, but after a certain point you just kind of shrug and move on. I'm not a dedicated research scientist or anything…

Oh! We're turning!

VRRRRRRR. CREAAK! The motions and sounds of the ship moving are- pretty extreme!

Oh- no! Genkan doesn't turn with the ship!

thump! "Ouf!" She ends up hitting the rail, and sliding onto her butt. "Nnh…"

Hana giggles at her. "Fu- hehehe! Yeah- I hate it when that happens!"

Remilia chips in from her and Flandre's power hour over there. "Maybe try not to drift around when on an airship? Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, as the saying goes."

"Ugh…" Genkan sort of quiet-chuckles, half at herself seemingly. "This is going to take… getting used to."

One of the few times I'm glad I can't float or fly. Getting lost in the sky seems like a nightmare. It's like getting lost in the ocean, except maybe worse. I guess it depends. If you can fly, you can live, but you sure as heck aren't getting back to the boat unless it turns around.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Hoop! Aa-

Whap- pap- pap! After I leapt from the upper level- the ship caught up to me, and I fall down the ladder with my ass hitting every notch on the way down!

Pap- thump! I end up having to use my arms to stop from faceplanting! "Oof- uuh!" Wahahaha!

...Aw, here's Genkan! "Brad…" She gives me a spooky look over what the hell I just did!

I stand up! No splinters? No splinters, good...

"Yahoo!" Yeah man! "It's a real 'falling the fuck over' kinda day!" Healing magic and passive healing from coldness really helps trivialize the rough 'n' tumble of day-to-day living! ...Man, that thought was a mouthful.

"Make sure we don't crash into the fairy war head-first." Ooh. Fairy war…!? "We should maintain a respectful distance of it."

I nod! "Ooh, I made sure!"

Genkan double-checks. "How'd you make sure?"

"With my eyes!" Yeah dude!

...Genkan thinks that's vague enough to be suspicious. She narrows her eyes.

"What…?" I give her an oppressed look. "My eyes are at least subpar!"

"Did you take into account that the cloud would move with the wind?"

Oh. Fuck. "I forgot."

...Slowly, Genkan's rigid posture broke, and she leaned to one side lazily. Letting her eyes close. she yawned.

She rolled her upper body's weight around until she was upright again. "Maybe you should do something about that." Yeah maybe…!

Stoppin', I turn to the ladder again-... wait, I gotta measure the wind first. Which way is it coming from? Aah… wait, which way is Genkan's hair blowing? That'd be where it's going.

Clack. The inner-cabin door opens near me!

...Aw, who the heck're you. Wait! I know who that is!

Renko! The- brown-haired chick! Merry's friend! Yeah! I~... remember seeing her quite a while ago, actually, dang.

"Ooh. Heya, heyo, heyaheyah!" Yeah!

Renko gave me a look. "...It seems like I was auto-balanced."

"Yeah, welcome to the gay team." We're quite happy around here.

"I thought I was already…" Pffft. "Hmm." She shivers!

fwump. Her black hat came right the fuck off, almost flyin' off. However, the backwards force and wind pressed it against the cabin wall! "Aah, no…!" She panicked a little!

When she reclaims her hat, she hugs it to her chest. "Whe- where even are we?"

"Sky hell." I nod at her. "You were trying to cross the border, right? Same as us and that thief over there." I gesture towards the cabin, as if to imply Sammy.

"Oh, shut up." Wahaha~! "You- ah- you really had to make a border reference, too."

"I know! That's why that was so freakin' perfect…!"

Renko shakes her head, grinnin'. Aw, yeah dude...

Wait. "What time is it?"

Renko looks up.

"9:26 in the evening. If you'd like to make that New Years Eve party at the Hakurei Shrine in good time, it'd probably be a good idea to… um… hmm. We're… in the sky? We're practically inside the Hakurei Barrier. We're so high up."

Then, Renko curses! "Oh, damn. That's what Merry's riddle meant."

Uh oh. "Is Merry still fucked up and evil…!?"

...Renko looks a little bemused by my question! "Uum. I guess? ...I only remember meeting you once or twice. Who are you, again?"

Ooh. Hol' up… alright.

I clear my throat. "Ahem." Yep. You all know already.

"I'm Sora." Yeah man. "This is Goofy." I gesture to Genkan.

Genkan remains skeptical and spooky. "I am always this 'Goofy' that you speak of." Uh oh. "I am going to torment you."

Renko has the flattest expression! "What's his real name?"

"Brad. He is Brad. I am Genkan." Genkan doesn't give her any a' the bullshit I do...!

"Oh, right. Brad… and Genkan." Renko nods vaguely! "Forgive me for forgetting."

You are forgotten for forgiving! ...Wait. "So just how did you get here?" Just fer clarity's sake!

Renko put an arm on her own hip, and put her weight onto one leg. "Mmm… Merry told me to take it easy. I just wouldn't let go of how weird she was being. So… I wished on the most colorful star in the sky.

"I wished that she could turn her dreams into reality. Not the other way around."

She looked at the sky. "She told me I was barely able to comprehend what she understood. Whatever it is she understood…

"From her side, I'm sure it's true."

Whah...

"Turning dreams into reality, huh?" Yeah, man. That's some deep shit, yo. "Y'think she's goin' schizophrenic…!?"

Renko snorted. "Heh? No. She's just sounding desperate. I'm getting afraid she's getting too wrapped up in these dreams we've found here, to create her own dream."

...Man, why's it that the entire situation around Merry's evolving mania just emanates this certain cursed energy!?

"Whaddaya mean by… creating her own dream?"

"Creating it not with Gensokyo's people. Creating it by realizing the boundaries all around us. Like…"

Renko brings up her hat, as if to put it on, before remembering the wind would kill it. "Don't you think-... actually, no, you don't think." Why are you verbally killing me fer no good reason…!?

Shaking her head, she tries again! "I feel and think, that… after we were pulled into Gensokyo, something was seriously off. Like, really off."

Ooh? "How off?"

"Very off." Ouh. Oh no, man.

"Killed off." I finished the thought...

...Renko smiles at my non-sequitur! "I know Merry's power has been letting her see and drift through this place. As she's grown to see more boundaries… she's grown more attached to this Gensokyo that was always here."

Folding her arms, Renko sighed. "I'm just afraid she'll leave everything of ours behind. Our families, our things… our positions in the world. Things that will be very important to us, even with the powers she's realized."

Renko stared inta my eyes.

"The story I want us to make should be one of a kind. Hers, and mine."

Hoh, shit. S'powerful!

"Just a month or two ago, Merry-... no, I'm getting ahead of myself." Whouh, oh no. "What I said may not make sense to you. These are things that can't be witnessed with just anybody's eyes."

Genkan speaks up! "That's… I- I can understand the sentiment."

Renko snorts. "Can you?"

"I think I can."

...After an idle moment of us just catchin' wind on the deck, Renko faced the inner deck door.

"At first, I thought Merry put me on a pirate ship." Renko grins! "And, who's that little girl who likes to attack people?"

Huh? Oh. "That's Sammy, from accounting."

"Oh." Yeah woohoo!

Genkan speaks up! "Don't change the subject. I wish to know more."

Renko nods. "Repeat to me what I'd said before."

Genkan doesn't look up, and also doesn't use the scroll wheel to read through the visual novel backlog. Uh oh…! Put your memory to the test, Genkan!

"Um…" Genkan isn't sure how exact she's expected to me. "You want your friend to live their best life." Let's live our best life, Genkan. With a fluffle.

Renko purses her lips, before raps her knuckles against her own chin. "Mmm. Not entirely inaccurate, but… that's too bad. You lose."

Genkan would ragdoll if she knew that was a meme. She becomes ominous but also cute!

Y'know, I think I get what she's saying. "Something… red and purple and pink all over!?"

Renko looks blown away. Not in a good or profound way! More like, injured! Wounded!

Or how about…? "Something-... dull, yet highly prized?"

Renko blinked away her shocked awe at my incompetence to nod idly. "So- something like that!"

Yeah! "A racecar!"

Renko jerks her head back! "What the fuck?" Wha- hahaha! "No!"

Genkan holds a hand over her own mouth, resisting the urge. "Gods, Brad…"

Before I can expound on that idea, Renko began running away! "Yea- yeah, you know what? Hold that thought. I- I'm starting to freeze here. I'm going back into the cabin…"

Ouh. Yeah, talking philosophy's pretty hard when yer teeth start chattering to the point y'can't speak anymore.

With that, Renko heads down into the frigid under-deck of the S.S. BONER, to warm up. Maybe Sammy'll keep her good company.

But… man. Something dull yet highly prized…

Not everyone's got the intuition to see or appreciate that sorta thing. And- I forgot to turn the ship so that we approach the fairy oort cloud accurately!

"Renko has traveled to the under-hull of the S.S. BONER." I announce the festivity. "Overshadowed by the length."

"Terrible." Genkan criticizes my juvenile humor!

"Genkan I forgot to turn the ship." Also- didn't Renko have a degree in physics? "I also forgot to ask the theoretical physicist to help turn the ship."

...On that note, I wonder if Renko owns a crowbar! If her main weapon isn't crowbars, it needs to be now. All we need is a HEV suit cosplay from Eientei and we could have Half-Border. Gap-Life.

Genkan looks at me. She looks at the cloud we were moving towards.

It's here!

She looks back at me! "You had one job."

I shrug! "I got caught up in philosophizin'!"

woosh. We pierce the cloud directly!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Everything is fog.

...When I walk forward, eventually I find Maria on the deck, arbitrarily amidst the fog! Maria turns to me, eyes narrowed.

Genkan drifts up, eyes also narrow.

"I'm going to die." The fluffy party members are going to assassinate me.

"Brad, I thought someone told you not to drive into the cloud." Maria heckles me!

"I have underestimated the planet." You were killed: … by the planet. Take a bite outta the planet! Omh.

"He has." Genkan confirms!

Ha-chan brushes past us! "Woah! It's so-... dark." We're in a cloud, son.

Slowly, we all grow more wet, 'cause yeah. The condensation, we have brought ourselves to it.

...WOOSH- WOOSH! Ooh!

Yellow-haired fairies, reminiscent of the fairy dimension Brittany's key lead me to! They hover on down!

I can tell they're here 'cause they glow with the heat of-... well, maybe like a sub-millionth of a sun. Like a lightbulb! Maybe sub-trillionth. I dunno, comparing a lightbulb to a sun is hard!

But they're bright! They have patient smiles, some kneeling in the air, and others floating around freely. Their heights variate a hell of a lot too.

"What is this?" The adult-sized sunlight fairy- blonde with a pony-tail- speaks down ta us. "Have ground-walkers ascended way up above?"

"There's a snow lady there!"

"And a human…?"

"Hey! On the wood thing!"

They point at Ha-chan, who is standing before us under the sunny light!

"The cloudies called for pirate backup!"

"Pirate backup!?"

"Holy crap! Pirates!"

The adult-sized sunlight fairy hovers down, even closer to us! She has two massive pitch-white wings that constantly change shape… like, by a lot; sometimes they're squares or ovals, sometimes beams, sometimes just spatters of light.

That blonde chick clad in a barely-there white gown touches down on the deck of the ship. The light which encapsulated her hands and feet leaves once she lands.

She steps closer on bare feet… man, she's got like a sheet on right now! Like, half of a bedsheet!

"You are different." She glares into my eyes with some kinda certainty! "Who are you?"

"King of cum creek." Yeah man.

Angry blonde fairy snorts! "...You don't know how this sky works, do you?"

"I am king of the skies!" I ain't takin' shit from no~ fairies!

She jerks her head back! "...I see."

Stepping back, lighting up the whole ship's deck in the fog, she raised a hand. "...Ladies. Descend."

The rest of the sunlight fairies in the cloud- what seems like all of them- start to pile onto the deck all around us.

All twenty of 'em! No, thirty. Forty. Fifty. Sixty.

Oh. Wow.

"Oh my god." Maria huddles closer to us!

A low murmur of white noise begins to build, both from fairies landing on bare feet, and from their idle chatter!

Fhu- duh- one hundred and counting sun fairies have landed on deck.

"Genkan, I think we're being boarded!" I decide!

Genkan cracks her neck! "Brad… these may be fairies, but…"

"There are too many!" Maria immediately decides!

Blonde lady holds her chin high, and gives us a nod! "This crew big enough for you?"

Also, note: Remilia and Flandre are gone. They must've fled inside the deck to get away from the sun marauders. So it's just us four out here!

Some of the sun fairies actually have orange hair! They remind me a' Koi, or Sunny Milk. They're all stout girl size… except for the big girl in charge.

I point at big girl! "Who're you!?" If only so it'll make you easier to write! A name is less mental RAM consumed than your physical description…!

"I am Nikkou." Oouh. "Had you not boasted, I may have let you go. However, these skies, as far as the eye can see, will always belong to me."

Suddenly, protesting voices! "That's not true!"

"It's almost night, stinklight!"

"We're gonna put you out, stinky!"

Woosh! Ooh!

Three cloud fairies descend overhead!

FWOM. Like, eighty orbs of sunlight are shot straight up at them.

PI~CHUN! Ouh no, they got erased immediately!

Nikkou looks at us. Oouh- I don't have any sun gear oh god-

FWAAM! She shoots a massive ball of sunlight at us oh god! It's seemingly aimed for no one in particular!

KRING! Genkan creates a spike of ice between it and us.

BAASH. When the sunlight orb strikes the ice- it becomes a laser instead oh god-

WAAASH! Ooh! Ha-chan hides behind me- and-... the laser envelops me.

...Oh. It, uh, doesn't actually hurt that much. Damn- that was bright though! Had to shield my eyes and everything!

kring. Realizing the futility, Genkan dispels her ice blade. "Hmmn…"

Nikkou scowls. Shit- you know who she looks like? Samus Aran. "Cease shielding that lightning bug. She is to be exterminated with the rest."

Uh oh. "Why her!?"

"No way!" Ooh!?

Suddenly, a cyan-haired fairy launches from the aether behind us! "Take that!"

Zap! Ooh! She does Ha-chan's little zap attack! She is-... well, she looks like a bite-sized Hana!

BWOOM. Nikkou shoots sunlight lasers from her eyes.

"Wh- aaa- aa…!" The cyan-haired electric fairy starts disintegrating oh god-

Pi~chun! She was erased!

Nikkou turns her glare on me- only for Ha-chan to duck behind my back again!

Fwi- Click! ...I summon my spaceman helmet, just so I don't have to put up with getting blinded every two seconds!

Aah. So-... the sunlight magic seems to just erase fairies, but anything above fairy is basically immune. Except vampires, I'd assume!

"This cloud is destined to be dispelled before day's end." Nikkou points at me, glaring sunlight right into me! "Though the sun is now low, my glare is not. This cloud is so doomed, that the sun's love is not even required."

...You know, what if I just started shooting darts? What then…!?

Actually, I wonder!

Fwash! After focusing, I sprout my fairy wings! Ooh- they're all prism-like and rainbowy again, rather than blue when I used that one attack wit' the nunchuck hanger…

Nikkou just intensely focuses on me, after I do that!

Wait! I point at her! "Do you know-... the Jam Fairy!?"

Nikkou blinks numbly! Ouh… I think I stupefied 'er.

Okay- better question! "D'ya know about a giant petal in the sky!?"

Her eyes widen with realization! "Do you mean… my mother…?"

Whah. "Mother? Wait- can fairies have moms?"

"My mother is the queen of the skies, as well as nature." Nikkou glares at me! "A human should never know of her."

Ooh! "She's really freakin' big, isn't she!?" Big fairy!

"She's dared to meet you?" She glares a little! "Really…"

...She clears her throat! "Ahem." Ohp- her stereo voice is back. "Nor should a human sprout wings!" Does she have ta strain herself to sound like that…?

...I wave my wings around, and whack Maria in the face wit' 'em! "Wha- hey." She cringes outta the way!

"Well- this human did!" Yeah!

"You will fail, for challenging nature! Rulership of the skies belongs to the fairies alone!"

All of the sun fairies around her cheer! "YEAH!" Oh god that's loud!

...In fact, it's so loud, they all stagger each other, and everyone stumbles around, half-frightened by their own noise they made.

Genkan speaks up! "Leave us alone, hell fae! We simply wish for passage through the sky! This is a leisure cruise!"

Maria yells too! "Ye- yeah! Ignore Brad! We're just- trying to get to a party!"

"Even more reason to demonstrate our might!" Nikkou's eyes glow neon white! "Sky's rim belongs to the fairies!"

...I just, grin and nod. Yeah man. Cool reference!

Wait. "How're you gonna fight us? Last I checked, yer sun magic doesn't seem ta hurt us!" 'Cause it wasn't!

...The fairies look around, some at Nikkou.

Nikkou just, walks up to us, her wings- and boobs- swayin' around.

FWIISH! Then- she roars right at me with a fist raised! "Heeyah!" Oh god!

KRING! Genkan spawns an ice spike- and it hits Nikkou in the chin.

WOOSH! Holy shit she didn't die from that…! But- she really flew!

Once she's launched way off, she's consumed by the fog. Oouu...

"Barrier!" Maria starts casting!

Ha-chan gets behind all of us, expression small!

"HYAA~!" All one hundred fucking fairies come at us at the same time ready for melee combat!

"Woah- woah woah!" Maria's still casting her barrier! "Brad help oh god Brad!"

Fwi- Clack! Summoning Bawmber and Red Scare, I march up past the ice blade and- holy shit there's so many of them-

WHAPAPAPAPAP- BOOMBOOMBAMBLAMBOOM! Yeah- maybe it was a mistake to unload this close to myself but I don't care!

PI~CHUN! PI- PI- PI~CHUN! Hyper-violence…! How many did I get!? Oh god- they're climbing over!

Cla- clack- clack- clack- clack! Maria's hexagonal barriers flare around around in the foggy gloom!

PI~CHUN- CHUN- CHUN- CHUN! Genkan's spinning along the floor behind us, flaring around, fairies freezing around her…!

"Hup-... yaa~h!" Genkan does a handstand and holds both legs out, spinnin' around like a big-ass rotor! ...Li- literally, 'cause she kinda has a thick ass!

"Wha-!"

"Uuf!"

"Oou!" Fairies sent flying off the ship are never to return 'cause the ship is going too fast for the mto catch up!

PAPAPAPAP! I fire darts up into the air!

PAPAPAPA! Firing them ahead- oh shit sorry Maria!

BABOOMBOOMBAMBOOM! "Whaao!" Maria's flung up against the fairy horde that's being popped!

Ha-chan is covering her eyes! "I'm doomed…" Woah no!

"No you're not!" Ooh! Backup!

From above, five more electric fairies whirl around overhead!

Zap- zap, zap! They start shelling the deck from above, jolting the masses!

BRAAM- RRRR- RRRR. The deck becomes sunlight, and the fairy backup is gone. So is all of the fog in like a fifty meter radius around the ship.

Aiming my hangers around, I look for blindspots! I'm gonna be on 'defending Ha-chan' duty…!

"Hyah!" Ooh! Maria made her way back!

Woosh- WHACK- woosh! Flailing her bo-staff that I forgot we even got her around, Maria enjoys buffed physical stats as she acts as a wall!

Fwi- Click! Summoning a blanket from my bag, I toss it on Ha-chan's head. There we go, now no one can get smart ideas about attacking her with sunlight!

"What the hell is going o~n!?" Ooh, Renko is out here now!

"Huma~n!"

"I'm gonna beat 'em up!"

"Guys- go for the guy! He's using danmaku- he can't be that strong!"

"Stop jumping on the snow lady- it's not gonna work!"

...Ooh- oh no!

From above, a huge fluffle made of purely cloud condensation descends! Getting onto the deck, it gets on all fours and starts waving its tub around!

BRAAAM!A less powerful blast of light erases it before it can really get crazy!

Since Ha-chan's on the floor and hidden under a blanket, she's as good as left the scene as far as these fairies are concerned- which means I can go all out!

"Fairies!" Uh oh- Nikkou flies fast enough to keep up with the ship, even after being launched! "Activate!" What…!?

"Yeah!"

"Let's go!"

"Why didn't we do this to begin with…?"

Then, in a flash of light…

They're all gone. Question mark?

"I think-..." Maria speaks up, still flailing her martial staff around randomly!

WHAM! Maria's punched in the face by nothing! "Ghu-"

Wha- suddenly I'm- getting weighed down by something!

Genkan twirls into standing, eyes wide. "They're invisible!"

Oh, fuck! Wait-...

When I look closely around the ship- I see only the fairies near me! They're barely visible, the air rippling unnaturally where they should be. S'like when you let the deep learning bots predict what should happen next in the blank spots of an image!

Then, a tongue is stuck into my left ear. She moans in. "Aaa~." Aaaah!

I yell! "Aaaa~!" And I shoot into the floor!

WHABAMBAMBAM! The blasts really launch me! Wait- oh shit- go back down!

So that I don't leave the ship- I jump repeatedly downward, towards the ship, while in mid-air from the bomb blasts-

thu- thud. Thankfully, many invisible fairies are there to catch my landing.

"Ohuf-"

"Aah! Nnh-"

"I got him! I got him!" Wha- uh oh.

Man- these fairies smell like baked rocks. It's a very distinctly plain scent. I can only tell 'cause I fell into a ton of them.

Soon, I'm righted, fairies holding my arms and legs.

"His wings are so pretty!"

"Nikki-chan must think he's really cute…"

"Quick! We can't just let her take him! Wait- stop him from moving!"

Yeah, we did it, we got bound by fairies! Again! Kind of!

Genkan comes up to me, 'cause I land near her. I feel all the hands on me slow an' stop, intimidated!

fwii~sh. The invisible fairies begin to become visible as frost creeps over them, and Genkan just plainly plucks 'em off.

"Whah- let go~!" Suddenly, they struggle and panic- and I become encumbered with their rapid movements!

"Snow lady! Snow- no!"

"I'm takin' him! And you can't sto- aaa-" She was stopped...

Pi~chun! Pi~chun! Ooh- Renko lost her hat, and-... she's swingin' around a crowbar and a pair of scissors! Shit- she did get herself a crowbar!

...Oh my god. The fairy that stole her hat is invisible, so it just looks like her hat is fuckin' floatin' away up the ship's deck. Just- all on its own!

"Uhf!" Uh oh. Renko got punched in the gut! "Nn-" Ouuh, she's on the floor now.

There's a voice in the very fuckin' core of my left ear from some random-ass invisible fairy. "Want me to step on you?" Oh my god-

Pi~chun! Red Scare enters her skull on reflex- my arm just moves on its own!

"Nikki-chan… we're losing!"

"The humans- are too strong!"

"Do something about that stupid snow lady!"

Maria jumps off of the tea table the vampires were at earlier! "Thundara!" Ooh- she's got her royal staff out!

FWA- ZAP- ZAP- ZAP- FWASH- ZAP! The lightning that came down found even more fairies, in spite of their invismability.

Lightning literally just flashes across my face, and the magic of dying sun fairies makes the deck really luminescent!

...I was 'boutta wonder, 'is thunder magic safe inside of a cloud'? The answer is no- and that's probably the point!

"Wha- ah!" Woah no. Maria gets jumped and bound by invisible fairies right after! "Damn it…!"

The fairies are mildly distressed! "We lost like, a thousand of us!" There's only a hundred or so of you! We woulda won like ten times over!

Then, unlike the others, Nikkou lands in the center of the deck with no cloakin' bullshit.

FWAAM! Her impact is loud! Every fairy still alive flickers into existence briefly, before becoming invisible again.

"This is obviously going nowhere!" Nikkou yells out! "I propose a formalized battle!"

Genkan protests! "What do you mean, 'obviously going nowhere'? You're losing. I will destroy as many fairies as it takes."

Maria yells out! "Le- let me go…"

"Hey!" One of the invisible fairies speak up! "We should drop her off the edge!"

"Yeah! Can we, Nikki?"

"I wanna see her splat!"

Realizing the intention, Genkan bristles! "Now you've done it!"

FWAAM! Nikkou shoots a big-ass ball of light magic at Genkan as she wooshes to try and help Maria.

BOOM! Ooh! The magic exploded- wind flaring off of the impact.

"Uugh!" Genkan was launched by it…!?

THUNK! Her back hits the edge of the cabin, and she almost bounces right off the ship. Instead, she just flops on her stomach atop the cabin, as if tryin' to hug onto the ship.

Damn. Maybe this encounter's a little more than I expected.

...Sensing danger, I look forward!

Nikkou is right in front of me.

Her hand caresses my chin, and tilts my head up. She's taller than me- she's like seven feet tall!

"Let me see your face, fairy boy." Uuh…! "I know what you are now. One of mother's favorites. I never thought any of the worthless outsiders she ever invited here would… get this far."

Hooh? "Wha' dh' 'ou 'ean?" I can't speak because she's holding my jaw.

She keeps tilting my head around! She's got a pretty firm grip, for a fairy! "You haven't accumulated any magic. You haven't been doing anything. What have you been doing, outsider? Tell me. What is it you humans do on the surface?"

She lets go of my jaw, so I can talk. Meanwhile, she stalks around me, feeling at my camou-mono… woah- hey!

She folds it open, and tries to touch my skin! "Son- what the hell're you doing…!?"

"Feeling you up." Why!? "You have just enough magic. I'm sure it's whatever mother put inside you. A lesser fairy would be begging you for love right about now."

Aah. Right. I see…

"She just had ta gimme the catnip challenge, huh." This really is like-... I'm just made outta cat nip!

"It is like cat nip." How do you know what a cat is, y'freakin' sun elemental!? "Regardless? I'll be honest. You're exactly my type."

Oh, okay. "An' what type is that?"

"Weak. Exotic. Passive."

She- picks me up by the collar of my kimono!

"Here's my challenge." She winks at me. "If you win… I'll concede nature itself to you. If I win… you concede yourself to me, in spite of what anything or anyone else says."

...She purses her lips! "Also, if I win, that human over there goes splat." She jerks her head to gesture to Maria.

Genkan pokes her head over the cabin atop the ship. "Brad-... don't do anything stupid!"

FWASH! Nikkou freezes solid!

CRACK! She escapes the freeze nearly instantly, by moving! "Oh, shut up."

FWAAAR! Ooh- she glares sun eye lasers in Genkan's direction.

"Aaa- nngh…" Genkan grabs her eyes, stunned. "Damn you! I won't let you ruin today!"

Genkan moves to descend from the cabin rooftop-

WHAM! Oh- holy shit. Invisible sun fairies tackle Genkan, to launch her and themselves off the ship.

Nikkou pushes me away, lettin' me stumble around…

Then, she holds her arms out.

The remaining forty-something fairies become visible, before instantly vanishing.

They become orbs of light, which whirl up into Nikkou's form.

Once they all combine, Nikkou goes from seven feet tall to like eight feet tall.

Arms and legs encased in light, she glares into me! "Do you accept my challenge, mortal?" Ah, yes, the classic line…!

"Y'say that like I have a choice, at this point!" I mean, souped up fairy or not, she's still a fairy, right…!?

"Mmm." Her blonde ponytail whips around in the wind, as she moves her arms around, doin' martial motions! "I will kick your ass."

...Alright- so she uses sun magic, so there's probably not gonna be much healing to go around.

Wait. Hold on…

Fwi- Clack! Changing my entire load out, I stand ready.

With Toyosatomimi's dress, my ol' yellow racecar helmet, and a badge of the sun, I achieve 115% sun resistance.

Hoisting Fallen Comrade over one shoulder, I hold my frozen shotgun in the other hand. "Maria! Light! And Ning!" I hold up my fake gun and wave it around like a conducting baton!

Nikkou snorts. "There is no one here named Ning." Pfft. She didn't get it! "Oh… was that your yuki-onna?"

Maria however, gets it. I see her nod! She's also bound in place- so I guess those two fairies holdin' 'er didn't get absorbed.

"Yeah- I'm 'boutta avenge Ning." Yeah, man. Ning will be to Genkan as Rusty Shackleford is to me.

...Nikkou nods! "Ready? There will be no going back for the loser of this game."

"I should be tellin' you that!" I nod at 'er!

zap- zap, zap! Ooh. My shotgun's cracklin' with lightning! Maria got my message!

...With that, Nikkou nods her head once more.

Then, she's right before me. She basically teleported up ta me. Wind flares up before my eyes, but my racecar helmet keeps my hair from getting too in the way!

WHA- FWAM! Light flares from her right arm as she hooks me right in the gut.

CRACK! Ow. Physical damage!

"Aa...!" Well, that fucking hurt! I'm surprised by the noise that comes outta my own mouth!

I did one whole sideways roll by the mere knockback of what she just did, and I think I lost a rib!

"Begone!" She combines both arms together, and shoots a beam of light at me! "Hahahaha~!"

FWRAAAR! Holy shit that was a violent laser!

FWOASH! And that's a lot of healing holy crap! Oou…! The sunlight- I absorb it! Photosynthesis…!

CRACK! There's my rib! Ooow!

...Staggering back to my feet, uuh-

Fwi- Clack! Hello, gravity boots. You will be used very minimally, 'cause we're on a moving ship…

"Ah…" She notices I'm still here! "What?"

Fwish! Toggling my gravity boots, I swooce on up to her!

KABAM- ZAP! An' I shoot her in the abs with lightning!

"Oouh!" Ooh! She flew back!

Flipping in the air, she comes at me oh god-

She goes for an uppercut! I evade by falling into her.

thump. Yeah- I just, ragdoll onto my back after her stomach and knees brush me, and her telegraphed punch ends up doing nothing useful. "Ah…" She kinda stumbles around too!

Aw, my gun's charged again. Alright-

Oh. She grabs me off the floor.

WOOSH! I'm yeeted straight into the cabin in the back.

WHAM! Haha- ow! At least I hit it back first, fuck!

"Don't be annoying." Nikkou suggests! "It'll just make me sour."

Fwi- Clack! I replace the shotgun with the Bawmber. Al~right, oo~kay…

Slowly, as I stagger up off the floor, I take some deep breaths. Okay.

So, the wind is blowing… backward, towards the cabin. So everything I shoot that's not lightning will just come back an' jizz all over me. This includes myself!

Nikkou appears before me again!

Before she can punch, since she really winds up a hook, I just press my face between her boobs.

"Oh!" She holds both her arms out, shocked!

Reaching down, I sweep Fallen Comrade under one leg, and just yank it back!

SHINK! The scythe edge of Fallen Comrade slits the back of one of her ankles. No blood comes out, per being a fairy.

"Fhgh- aagh!" She still staggers around, hissing! "You-"

Now that we're at an angle, I drop the Bawmber against the floor, practically throwing it right down.

KABOOM! Launched by the blast, I shoot right past her.

KASHUNK! To keep myself from being launched off the ship, I stick Fallen Comrade's blade straight through her.

Nikkou's mouth hangs open. She staggers back from the force a' me hooking onto her, limbs still held out, before her teeth begin to brace. "Wha- ghk…!"

Woah! Man- I hooked her so hard my arms almost let go a' the thing! Thank goodness it's so big.

Fwi- Click! De-summoning Fallen Comrade while it's inside her, I replace it wit' Hoarfrost Forecast…!

Even though it has the sun magic central bit- it has a lot of things that aren't sun magic!

Holding it by the holy chuck- I smack the other two hangers into her side torso tub!

"Hoyaa~h!" Yeah- whap, right against 'er!

Whap! "Nngh-" She twists around when it bounces off. The impact made 'er cringe, but not much more.

Instead of horizontally, using the momentum of the chucks recoiling, I flip 'em up vertically.

WHAP! Nikkou's head kicks back, 'cause they hit 'er in the chin!

"Kh!" Nikkou steps back, wincing an eye shut.

Her fists glow with the force of suns! "You're- ANNOYING."

FWRAR! Her massive, luminescent wings of random round geometry flare out. The base of them along her back burn like jet engines, holy shit.

My gravity boots activate, and I use the force ta come at her harder-

Woosh! Oh- god! The harsh wind just ends up pushing us both towards the cabin- while I'm mid-attack!

Her wings catch the air, and I just practically fly at her- way faster than I mean to!

Bap! She guards her torso with her forearms, when my whole body just bonks offa' her. "Hah!" She grins, eyes wild. "My turn!"

While I recoil offa' her, I unleash my hangers!

WHAKRACK! Spinning around, I hook her across the head with both chucks.

Saying nothing to betray how much that hurt- I know it had ta- she takes to the air with me!

She's rolling around in the air as a ball, and her wings constantly phase through me 'cause they're so huge.

Aah- she's using the force of my blow to escape by just randomly tumbling away! I can't let her reset the encounter to neutral!

To keep up with her, and to keep my combo going, I tilt myself entirely!

Since the cabin wall is right there, when I tilt ninety degrees in the air, my boots push me against the cabin wall. I 'ascend' against the wind- holy fuck this is trippy…

Nikkou rights herself, her feet also facing the cabin wall 'below' us, when we're actually both tilted ninety degrees in the air.

Wait- I can't just drift here all impressed! Attack!

Woosh! Comin' at her, I spin around and swing horizontally again!

WHAM- KRACK- WOASH! Nikkou plows a single fist right into my gut, almost stopping me in my tracks. But- she also applies sun magic to the impact, and so I heal too-

-and holy fuck does that hurt! "Aaaa~!"

However- the punch also helps add to my spin- and my adrenaline flaring helps too!

WHAKRACK! Both chucks end up hittin' her in the side of the head!

"Ouh-" Nikkou feels at her face, eyes popping wide open from her hardened glare she had a second ago.

"Alright-" Entirely letting go of the hanger I was holding, I focus my magic into it!

It orbits around me! Alright son! "Yeehaw!"

I come at her!

Suddenly, she grabs both my arms. "Hah!" Her forehead presses against mine. "Can't swing if you can't-"

WHAKRACK- KRACK- KRACK- KRACK- KRACK! The hanger mess rams her a whole bunch as it orbits us, with her being just in the way of its path in her attempt ta grapple me.

Nikkou's grapple weakens, and she starts to cringe. The hangers roll past her back with every impact, 'cause she's so close to me.

Still, she presses our faces damn close together! She kinda grins, appreciating the chaos…!

She rotates us around, footing around awkwardly against the cabin wall, while I struggle wit' her arms.

Cla- clack, clack! The hangers land aside us 'cause my focus runs out! Hmm…

Thump! Nikkou presses me against the wet deck floor, as if it were a wall, since we were using the cabin wall as a floor. Dude- this shit does cursed things to your sense of perspective…

"Got you." Nikkou presses the bridge of her nose against mine, finding her glare again. "I've pinned you…"

...Well, since she's so close… hmm. I need a plan!

"So ya have…" Actually- I still have that psuedo-shotgun. And my water hanger… and basically all my gun hangers.

She presses her leg up against my crotch, between mine, and presses her elbows around my shoulders.

"Give up yet?" She smiled at me. "I'll let you surrender."

Raising my face, I kiss her.

Her eyes snap open wider for a moment, before she reciprocates stupidly fast.

Thump! Wrapping her arms around me, she traps me on the floor with her body, locking me into a ravenous kiss.

I swallow my saliva involuntarily- 'cause her tongue enters my mouth and half-chokes me at first.

Her chest presses damn tight against mine, her biceps hugging either side of my head, as she starts just making out with me.

Fwi- Clack! Summoning the lightning-accented shotgun-... oh, it's not charged yet. Maria couldn't focus on it while it didn't exist.

...It's not getting charged either! Hey- Maria!

Tap, tap. I tap the shotgun against the deck!

Fwi- Clack! And, uh, as a distraction, I summon some generic cast-iron hanger into my right hand, and try hitting Nikkou with it.

It's entirely ineffectual, and she just pins that arm against the floor. "Hehehe…" Breaking the kiss, she inhales. "Fucking fairy boy."

...Ooh! Maria's charging the shotgun!

Once I'm confident it's charged enough, I angle it towards Nikkou's side.

"Let's cut the bullshit." Nikkou pressed her nose against mine again! "...I know what I feel for you is only magic. But…" She exhales into my face. "Be my boyfriend."

I press the shotgun's barrel against her abs. "How 'bout a kiss- from this?"

KABANG- FWAZAP! Oh god- woahwoahwoahwoah! When I shot the shotgun, it zapped me a little by proxy 'cause we were all over each other!

"Ou- ebeuh-" Nikkou ends up rolling off me, eyes snapping open wide and limbs spazzing a little.

Rolling in the opposite direction to get away- oh!

I find Hoarfrost Forecast here in the wet puddle forming along the cabin wall. Bringin' it back out from under my ass with both arms, I stand!

BAM! Nikkou slammed her arms against the ground like a gorilla, and sprung into standing! "You- slippery fucker-"

Charging the hangers with magic, I just run at 'er again before she can-

BONK! Ouh- oh! She tried teleporting up to me at the same time I ran at her- and we bonked heads.

"Aagh!" Nikkou holds her face!

Ow~! Her head is fucking hard! I'm dizzy…!

Charging my hangers again, before she can find her posture, I dive into a kneel down before her. "Haah!"

WOOSH! She unleashes a frenzied hook, but it goes over my head as I fall.

THUNK! Bangin' the hangers off the floor, I unleash the combined magic of all three!

KRING! An ice spike erupts beneath Nikkou.

Her body is so damn rigid that she tanks it. "Nnh…!" Standing with superman posture, Nikkou braced the ice spike so hard that it broke before her skin did. "Heh-... hehe-"

Kring- krack! Kring- krack! Kring- krack! Ooh- right! I unleashed Shimokoa's trailing icicle spell from our first encounter!

Each ice spike which erupts under Nikkou causes her whole body to shudder. Each spike shatters, the unstoppable objects meeting the immovable force.

I stand before her while the ice is heckling her.

FWASH! My fairy wings bloom out, blue and white, and I feel my heart pump as if a gear's freakin' churning inside me.

"Chew on this…!" I beam at 'er! "IT'S COOL!"

Bam! My knees bounce off the deck when I descend again!

WHAM! Light spreads out into the deck when I thrust all of the hangers down into it as a pile.

KAKRINGKRINGKRINGKRING! All around me, a massive icy shell of pure white crystalline ice erupts, forming a glacial wall all around me.

In the hazy, nighttime gloom combined with Nikkou's bright glow, the million carat ice glimmers with this fucking amazing light that awakens the inner Christmas connosuier within me. Man, this is winter light shows on crack.

From inside the ice, I can see that Nikkou was fuckin' launched.

Her form glows entirely sun-white, slightly yellow, maybe like neon-ivory, as she flies back through the mist. She's the only thing I can see through the ice, as she flies back, up across the deck.

THUD! Nikkou lands on her back, skids across the deck on her face, and eventually comes to a stop with her butt in the air, the cloth around it ripped away by the impact.

kring! The ice I'm inside of shatters nearly soundlessly, its particles stolen by the wind immediately!

...Blinkin', I look at my white-blue, angular fairy wings, before they slowly fade out.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

It is now firmly evening time!

Nikkou kneels on the deck with a subdued expression, shackled in place by ice. She's shackled to the mast, but we didn't go up an' entirely bind her to it…! Kinda wish we did!

I don't think even Genkan knows how she got back to the ship. She's watching over the captive greater sun fairy, menacingly…

"I guess fairies can be cruel, sometimes…" Maria brushed herself off! "Re- reminder… that wild fairies aren't friendly, and they don't even always respect life…"

Now that it's very much night, Remilia and Flandre are idle on the deck without a parasol overhead! Aw, yeehaw.

Renko is wrapped up in five blankets. I dunno where we found 'em. But it's very necessary, this high up!

"...This thing should have heating." Maria realizes, after watching Renko shiver like hell fer a moment with me.

"Yeah, probably!" But it'd increase the mass, oouu. Hmmn. Maybe Patchy knows somethin' 'bout heating pad magic. She's gotta have some way she keeps her cute librarian ass comfy in the winter.

We've just left that freakin' cloud. What a hoot and a holler that was!

"So…" Nikkou speaks! "You-... were absorbing my magic. If only I'd landed a few more clean hits…"

"Yeehaw." Yeah man. "I am elemental."

"Appa-... apparently." She looks extremely tired! Man, if I fought her on the ground, I could've really wombo'd her. Fierce wind sucks!

Ho~h. "So! What, uh, was all that 'give you nature' hullabaloo about? Do I get some kinda prize…!?"

Nikkou's brows twitch. "Hmmn. ...Yes. You get me."

Oh, good. "Get you?"

"Yes." Nikkou hung her head. "...I will be your... gi- girlfriend."

Oh, goddamn it, not again. Why are fairies like this? It's like Undertale, except it's 'rape or be raped'...! Wait, that's just Monster Girl Quest. I can't believe MGQ predates Undertale and has tangential story beats.

"Wow you've given me perhaps the worst conceivable prize possible." I might lay it on a little thick, but I'm really cynical about this!

Genkan snorts. "...I'd say something about such a fierce statement, but a murderous fairy deserves no mercy. Her heart is truly black. I want to kick her." From the server!? No~...

Maria speaks up! "Keelhaul." Holy shit!

Flandre's eyes light up! Like- literally, her and Remi's eyes are glowing, it's so dark. We need deck lights too! "Keelhaul!"

We're in the air, we can't keelhaul anyone and have it work unless we go down to the Misty Lake…! Unless we move at legendary air ride machine velocity, but I'm pretty sure that's just instant death or incineration and not like… keelhauling. That's like tethering someone to an airplane's interior and kicking them out of the hatch doors.

...Actually, shit, has anyone done that? That feels like a particularly overkill, cruel and unusual way to kill somebody. But, if you were in like, a crime organization, just imagine… flying a heli or plane and dropping your kill target fuckin' a mile to the ground or just flying them around until they get torn limb from limb in the atmosphere.

An' who's gonna trace that shit? No one…! You got dropped out of a freakin' plane! Well… actually, people might trace the flight path and the fact they might look like they got dropped out of a plane.

Might. That'd still be really good!

"Human!" Oh- shit, Nikkou was callin' my name! "...Even if I am killed, my parts will find my way to you. It will be far more convenient to you to make use of me as my whole, without dealing with my composite fairies."

Oh my god she's like the forbidden popcorn of stalkers. This is literally nightmare mode for my personal space.

...Ooh. Wait, woah.

Overhead, there's a bunch of glowy, purple-yellow lights.

Genkan and Ha-chan look up, both slightly spooked. Then, all of the lights descend!

...Ooh.

It's the federation fleet! By which I mean, it's a federation of cyan-haired electric fairies!

Genkan looks done. "If you're all here to fight, just say so, so that we can start now and get it over with."

"Huh…?" This really short hime-cut cyan-haired fairy looks up at her! "No!"

"We're here to thank you!" Ooh?

...Ooh! This cyan-haired maid with a confusing royal red outfit comes up ta us! She's got some done up, slightly-tangled hair! And she brings me a basket! "We found you these things, that humans like!" Yeah!

...Wow! It's-...

There's just like, three empty Monster cans in the basket, and a plastic beer can holder.

I hold up the beer can ring thing. Ah, yes, a passive debuff attack on the wildlife. Or, maybe it's area denial…

"What." This is the worst Christmas basket of all time.

"Humans really like giving these things!" Oh my god. "So we're giving back."

"They like making them too!"

"They're really valuable! There's only so many in Gensokyo!"

Whu- that's a good thing! I'd be worried if they were common!

"Wow…" Ha-chan speaks up! "You guys are all really pretty!"

"Aaw! You're pretty too!"

"Pretty tall, you mean…"

"She's really tall…"

"Are you a big fairy?"

Ha-chan blinks at the last one! "Ooh? Um… I- I don't think so!"

Yeah, most a' the fairies here are… not tall. Except for done-up-hair lady here.

Her dress is royal red, but it's twisted like eighty different ways. So's her hair! It's in like four buns, each leaning a different way.

"What is that hairstyle." What is your style…!?

She looks at me! "It's French!" Oh? "I learned it from a book! It's a really sleek kind, called a mag." I fear that might be her technical definition for it. "Um. I left it-... in the sky, somewhere, but it's around!"

"I'm uh, good." Yeah! "...Why're you tall!?"

"Oh! Uh. 'Cause um, I dunno." Huh. "I don't think I'm more than one fairy…"

"But we call her big fairy!" Why is this Hana like, three feet tall, that's worrying! "I'm Sparks!" It's Navi oh god!

"I don't like being called big." Royal-red bun Hana pouts! "It makes me feel fat."

Sparks gives her a small look. "You're not fat. You're big."

"Those sound like, the same thing!"

Nikkou speaks up! "You dumbass lightning fairies. Cease that cloud at once! Even if it's night- it is New Years! The sky should be clear at this time!"

Big royal fairy pouts and stomps! "But we never get to see it! When the sky's so clear, only like, a couple of us get to see the New Years sky!" They wanna play No Man's Sky!

"That's not my problem." Nikkou contests! "When the clouds and lightning are out, no one else can see the evening sky. Do you want to deny them that, for your own petty self-interest?"

"But I wanna see the sky too! We've sat out for like a kazillion years!"

Nikkou shook her head, so hard that her ice shackles shook a little! "Back when this Earth was crust- we all saw the sky together, as one! You've seen more than enough! Mortals only have a hundred chances to see it for themselves."

...Frowning, royal-red not-Hana folded her arms and looked away. "You're stupid, Nikki-chan."

"You're a dumbass, Nari."

"Nari?" The not-Hana jerked her head back! "I'm Pauliflower!"

"You're descended from Nari," Nikkou argued, "that crazy bitch..."

"I don't even know what you're talking about!"

The lightning and the sun are not friends! ...Perhaps understandable, considering if it's sunny out, very rarely will there also be thunder somewhere.

Oou. Which means they might play together on rare occasions but usually hate each other!

The other lightning fairies chime in! "Nikki-chan is just being really mean again!"

"We ought to teach her a lesson! Again!"

"Yeah! Let's make Nikki-chan go splat!"

"Nikki-chan can fly, Kiss-chan."

"Oo- oh, right…"

"Just clip her wings!"

"Can-... can you do that?"

Nikkou shuts her eyes. "Go ahead and destroy me. If you take pleasure in a victory which needed to be handed to you, then you're the real loser…"

"Hehehe!" 'Paul' laughs at Nikkou, sneering down at her. "You're just a sore-bottomed loser, Nikki-chan. You know wha~t? We should spank her."

All the other fairies cheer! "Ooo~! Spank her! Spank her!"

Before this train of insanity can continue too far, Maria speaks up.

"Hey, hey!" Maria speaks up over them all! Or, uh, tries.

"Spank! Spank! Spank!"

Nikkou hangs her head. "Mmgh…"

Maria inhales, and puffs her cheeks out. S'powerful!

"Hee~y!" Yell, Maria, yell! "Everyone! Be~! Quiet!"

...They were silenced!

Remilia huffs, from her tea table nearby. "Could have simply asked me to stare at them."

Blushing slightly from the attention, Maria continues regardless! "Hana! Um… the other day. Um…"

Ha-chan steps past the shorter fairies. "What's up?"

"These fairies- look a lot like you!" Maria exclaims! "So maybe you should try-... co- combining! If only for a little while!"

"Huh…?" Ha-chan blinks. "Combining? Um…"

The smaller fairies around start speaking up!

"So you are a big fairy!"

"I was right!"

"Yeah- we should! We'd spank her way harder!"

'Paul' stops the tinier electric fairies from goin' off. "Uum! Combining is like, really weird. I don't like when we combine…"

There's some mixed reactions! "What!? But we'd win so many more fights!"

"But we'd be so slow. One person can only do so much."

"I like when we're all moving around…"

"But Nikki-chan would feel really dumb when we beat her up really hard."

Aah. They're electricity. They like getting charged, not super-combined.

Maria looks at me! "Brad, what do you think? ...I- I really think it's at least worth a try."

Oou. Well…

Ha-chan looks at me!

"Well…" Y'know! "She'd be able ta turn back right? If she wanted to?"

"Yeah." Maria nods!

"Yes." Nikkou confirms!

"Yeah!" I didn't ask for the random fairy opinions!

"Pretty sure, yeah…"

"Mmn…"

...Well. "I think it's worth a shot, then."

...Ha-chan looks pensive! "Well… how- does it work?"

Paul speaks up! "You focus really hard, and 'cause we're all really compatible, we focus! Which means, I should really be the one to do it!"

For some reason, all the random fairies disagree!

"No! I want the other big fairy!"

"The other big fairy is prettier…"

"Hmm, hmm…"

Oh, right. For yer information, the lightning fairies are all in lavender gowns, which has different energy 'cause most of them are twin-tailed or with flowing hair, unlike the sun fairies who were all basically miniature, pudgier Nikkous.

Also, cyan versus blonde! S'a weirdly different hair culture!

Paul stomps and pouts! "Wha- screw you guys!"

...Ha-chan nods! "Um! Alright! Well… give- give me… your energy?" She presses her hands together, and shuts her eyes!

Nikkou speaks up! "Spread your wings, and open your magic. If your fellow fragments welcome you too… then, it will happen naturally."

fwish! Ha-chan spreads her cute wings, and focuses really hard.

...After a few moments, a few of the stoutest fairies become orbs of lavender-white, plasma-like light.

Sparks vanishes into light, and-

Zap- ZAP, ZAP! ZAPZAP- ZAP! Ooh. The fairies snap to Ha-chan in bolts of electricity, curling through the night time air to convene on her form.

Huffing, 'Paul' closes her eyes, and becomes crackling electricity too.

ZAPZAPZAP- ZAP- ZAP! FWAASH! Oh, damn! That's- also way too fuckin' bright!

I flip down my racecar helmet's visor. Yeah- there we go!

...After a few moments, Ha-chan's left standing there, crackling with remaining bolts.

There were like, thirtyish other electric fairies on deck, including Paul.

...Ha-chan's hairstyle remains unchanged, and she's still as tall as she normally is. She's still in her maid outfit, too.

FWRAR. Her wings flash plasma-purple, flaring to life loudly, singing the air around her.

They change colors, alternating between pink, cyan and purple. They're sharp and angular, glistening with uneven voltage. Weirdly… menacing!

Ha-chan's cyan eyes are edged with an uncomfortable amount of cynicism now.

She looks at me first!

"So. Uuh…" I speak up!

Nikkou has an easy smile. "Ah… Nari? Are you in there?"

Ha-chan jerks her head in her direction. "My name isn't Nari. It's Hana."

Nikkou snorts. "...Not yet, then."

Ha-chan walks up to me.

"Ha-... chan." Sayin' Ha-chan out loud is kinda curious. Just… the -chan suffix is something I never say!

Ha-chan flicks her eyes up! "Oh, Brad. Can it with that corny suffix."

Pftu- oh! "Ouh! But- I thought that was like, our thing…"

"I like that you're dedicated enough to keep using it." Ha-chan smiles in this dangerously clever way- oh god! "But… look. The border of translation we're all subjected to automatically applies and subtracts linguistic stuff anyway."

Running a hand into her cyan hair, she feels at her blunt bangs, as if getting used to her perspective again. "Just call me what you're comfortable with. Hana's a much nicer name on its own, right? ...Especially when you're not mangling the suffix!"

Well, damn! "Didja always feel this way?"

Ha-chan-... should I change how I internally refer to her? She looks up for a moment. "Mmm. Not until I thought about it."

Then, she beams! "Can you believe it!? My mind-..."

Stepping between me and the rest of the party, she spins around! "I can think! I-... I'm feeling things I didn't feel before!"

Nikkou grins unsurely. "...Somehow, you're more… of that fairy, then you are the others."

Hana gives her an easy smile. "Mmm. Well, it's 'cause I've been near Brad. Obviously. That, and, well, can you imagine the other girls wanting to stick together long enough to form a composite identity?"

Nikkou nodded. "Ah. That's… true."

"And I suddenly know who you are too!" Hana beams down at Nikkou! And then her expression becomes cold suddenly. "You're a jerk."

"Um…" Maria speaks up! "Hana. Are you, um… happy? Like this?"

...Hana looks over at Maria. "I~... I don't know."

She looks around airily for a moment, before centering her gaze on Genkan.

...Genkan is just being casual, tuckered out after our rough encounter with the sun fairy army.

Hana strolled towards her. "For some reason, looking at Genkan… makes me a little sad."

Suddenly engaged, slightly off-guard, Genkan raises her brows. "...Why?"

"You're my friend." Hana tells her. "But… I want to hit you."

Genkan has a small expression! "Do you?"

"I wanna feel-... I don't wanna feel like this at you." Hana looked along her own limbs, feeling at the sleeves of her maid outfit. "But…"

VRR. VRR. Oh, uh oh. Hana makes two claws of lightning out of her knuckles on each arm, freakin' Wolverine style.

"If- if I just hit you a little, these feelings might go away! But I don't want to!" Hana is really uncertain suddenly!

Then, just as abruptly, she sheathes the claws, pivots one-eighty degrees, and shuts her eyes.

Nikkou expounds on what's happening. "Those are Nari's fragmented ideas, Hana. She knows something you don't. And whatever Nari feels, she feels it strongly. Lightning is of strong feelings, esoteric logic, but generally… little reason."

"Well, Nari can shut up!" Hana decides! "I wanna be Genkan's friend! I don't wanna beat her up!"

Nikkou nodded. "Nari was also known… for her overwhelming pride. Ravenous jealousy. On your own, you may not have felt even a ghost of that, only being a piece of what she was. Now? You're catching up on what you've forgotten."

Hana glared at her. "If you know so much- then make it go away~!" Woah- she got loud all of a sudden!

Nikkou gave her an answer. "Then, uncombine. You will forget very quickly."

"But I wanna be smart!" Hana stomped closer to her! "These feelings-... are stupid! I just wanna feel smart!"

Nikkou shook her head. "...Nari. We broke apart for a similar reason in the first place. Our impact in blissful nature was so much more pungent when we weren't limited… by these grievances."

Hana processed that, giving Nikkou an almost disgusted look.

"That expression on your face says it all." Nikkou smiled wider. "I'm very fortunate to not be as half as neurotic as you are, Nari. I was always the dumb one. To my advantage in the end."

"Why do I feel so wrong?" Hana asked her simply.

"Because rarely in nature is electricity supposed to be so condensed." Nikkou tried to move a shackle-binded arm to gesture, but was unable to. "Mmh. Many of Nari's feelings contradict one another's. She never had the dumb strength to simply work around them. Myself…"

Nikkou sighed. "I am not all of me." That's a condition, alright! "But, it is my duty to never fully recombine, I recognize that. I'm sure you know what would happen, if all of one element on a given world were condensed into one place."

"Yeah. Big boom…" Hana nods idly! "But-..."

Hana looks at me. "Brad. On the outside, humans would use lots of electricity, right? Eientei does it too. Where's that come from?"

"Generators!" To keep it short! "We burn resources to make energy that stores charges, an' we use that energy to make things go in a stupid amount of ways. It's basically the outside's magic."

...Man, think about how crazy society would be if we could actually make shit go with other elements. Although, that'd be weird, 'cause electricity is basically stored energy on a stupidly small scale. Stuff like water is just a substance, and fire is just the act of combustion, a chemical process at its core…

I wonder if Hana can answer a question of mine now! "Hey, Hana. Why's electricity lavender-ish?"

"That's not electricity." Wait, what. "That's plasma. It's what happens when air is used as a route by electricity. It's just the energy cooking the air. Electricity itself can't be seen. The effect happens more here in Gensokyo because of how people believe electricity would look. That makes it easier to see."

...Huh. Damn!

Hana stepped closer to me! Man- those wings are bright!

"If humanity can make it all work somehow, to keep all of it in one place like that…"

She grabs one a' my hands! "Can you do the same for me, Brad? Not to power something… but, just so… I don't feel so weird?"

Ooo. Well! "...I'm not sure how I'd do something like that! But uh…"

"Tell me you'll try, okay?"

"I- I guess I'll try!"

Wh- ouh! She crushes my hand!

"Say it firmer." Her eyes glow…!

I smile incredulously! "I'll make an attempt."

...Hana snorts, an' smiles. "I guess that's good enough."

Genkan drifts closer. "Are you jealous? ...Of the love me and Brad share?"

Hana like, recoils on hearing her voice. Oou…

Twisting around, she gives Genkan a sorta flat look. "I- I think I am. I'm thinking, like… just, what if it was different?"

Maria interjects! "You seemed fine with that-... weird sharing you two had going on before."

"Because Hana is dumb enough to set aside what something like that means. She doesn't think about it. She just feels happy. Hehehe…"

Hana shook her head. "Man! Hana's so dumb…"

Genkan contests this! "Hana… she wasn't stupid. She may have been-..."

Eyes sharpening, Hana interjects. "Don't spare me your pity, Genkan. If you don't have something helpful to say, shut up."

Genkan just kinda chuckles incredulously, like I did! "Uu- um. I'm just saying- Hana herself has something that you, even more whole than her, doesn't."

Hana sneered. "Oh? You-... I don't think the inability to see is virtuous, Genkan. Part of me says you just thought I was easier to work with. But-... Hana knows you also liked her. You were friends…"

Man! She's really all mixed up, from this! It's so weird- 'cause each of the individual fairies were such simple folk. But, as a composite, she's like… unstable. Like raw lightning!

Y'know. "What would-... Ha-chan say ta Hana?"

Hana blinks, and for a moment she adopts the eternally easy look the normal Hana has. "I- I'd say that- she was being really mean for no good reason- and if she just wasn't, she'd be cuter!"

Hana grabs her other arm, and her arms hold each other! "But that's so, so, la~me! To think I can't measure up to a-... a random snow woman-"

Hana argues with herself. "She's not random! She's Genkan!"

"Do you even have feelings to be hurt!? You were dumped!"

"Nn- no! We're friends!"

"Friendzoned more like!"

"That's-... I- I don't like that idea!"

"Get used to it, moron! That's real!"

"That's what you think!"

"Hah! Keep saying that!"

"Screw you!"

"Screw you!"

VRR! Hana summoned a lightning claw, and tried stabbing herself.

Fwoash! She just heals instead, 'cause she attacked herself with her own element.

ZAPZAP- ZAP! Ooh- her wings crackle unevenly!

I look at Genkan. Genkan looks at me!

"...I was surprised that a development like this didn't happen sooner." Genkan concedes! "I'd simply chalked that up to her being a fairy."

Maria snorts. "I- I mean, if I was Hana, I'd be pissed. Plus… think about it. A more rounded Hana would want to spend more time with Brad. She wouldn't be happy with the passive drifting Hana herself does."

Genkan looks… intimidated! "Is there no happy way to resolve this conflict…? Gods. These past few days have been exhausting…"

Maria snorts. "Genkan, you always say that."

Genkan snorts! "I mean it, this time. I just broke ties with my childhood friend and mentor, and now we're tackling Hana's emotions…"

Hana smirks at us. "Oh? So you know exactly what you were taking. What about you, Brad? You knew exactly what you denied me too. Still calling me -chan. Indecision isn't a good excuse, boy."

Hana staggered, trying to walk, but her legs went two different ways.

"I want them to be happy!" Hana decided! "They're happy, so I'm happy!"

"You little loser…"

"I'm not a loser!"

"You're such a loser."

"I'm not!"

I mean…

I look at Genkan. "If Ha-chan hung out with us, Genkan, would y'mind if she was more active on our off days?"

"I can't say for sure. We'd have to see. But, we're both sedate enough…" Genkan considers the idea.

Hana glared at her. "Don't pretend that sharing is even a damn option. It's two bad there aren't two Brads. We won't want to wait turns. Don't even pretend."

Nikkou interjects from behind. "You only love him because of the magic imparted onto him."

Hana whips to face her. "Exchabuablabuboah!" What! She talked over herself way too hard!

Nikkou's expression is flat. "Chew before you talk."

Hana has the most drained expression. "Fuck you." Wahaha! Man, hearing her say that is weird. "Um…"

Hana took a deep breath. "Hana… knows she can't love Brad in the same way Genkan does. So she's fine with being how she is. Life for her… is a freaking cartoon."

"Myself? As a whole? ...Ye- yeah. I'd never think about love otherwise. So-..."

"But, I love Brad!" Ha-chan speaks through herself!

"I don't care about why you love Brad. I think that's stupid."

"Brad is cool!"

"Your love is shallow."

"But he makes you ha- happy too!"

"Only because you fill me with this stupid feeling!"

Hana's face flushes red. "Stop-... stop thinking about him like that! He's-..." She looks me over, eyes narrow, analyzing me.

Nikkou closed her eyes. "Perhaps it would be better for everyone if you split up again, Nari."

...Hana tilted her head back. "No. I'm… I'm gonna see this through now. Nari…"

"My name is Hana!" She suddenly decides!

"Shut up, Hana."

Then, Hana-... no, Nari perked up.

"Nikkou. I know the perfect punishment for you… and the perfect punishment for Hana."

Nikkou furrowed her brows. "Hmm? What? Will you simply go to town spanking the both of us?"

"Hmm. No. Worse." Nari's smile curls wickedly. "If you're both fine being so dumb, this will be perfect."

Nari turns to me. "Brad. Take out that dumb yellow plant hanger. Aqueous Ageous."

...I take the plant hanger outta my bag, morbidly curious!

It's an old legendary blade of Heaven, which me and Tenshi looted from a Zelda puzzle in the plaza of Heaven's central premiere sky island city. Just, y'know, in a random act of rebellion!

Nari takes it from my hand. "...Alright. Come here, Nari."

...Ha-chan protests! "Wait, no! Hold on! Can't you leave me a little smart!?"

"It doesn't suit you, Hana. No, I think you have earned your ignorant bliss."

Ha-chan huffs. "Why can't you just feel the way I do?"

Nari snorts. "Why can't you feel the way I do?"

"Because I know what I know, and I know I love Brad. I love what we have right now! Even if things could have been different… well, that's no reason not to make the best of right now!"

"You're a funny fairy, Hana. More stubborn than even I am."

"I think you're pretty stubborn…"

Nari looks back at me. "Here, Brad. This is for you, you indecisive piece of shit that I now apparently love."

She holds the vaguely plant hanger-shaped Aqueous Ageous overhead of herself, and moves to grab Nikkou.

"Nngh!" Nikkou's clutched by her blonde ponytail. "Ow- ouch! Fuck!"

Nari gives me a dangerous smirk. "You told him you would serve. I shall too, if only to escape this painful life! And so!"

FWISH! Ooh! The Ageous thing starts glowing!

Nikkou speaks up! "You-... no! Damn you- Nari! Damn you! I'll kick your ass! I swear- be it another fragment, an army of me- or the sun's cancerous rays itself- I will fuck your world up, for condeming me in your own way!"

"Hahaha~!" Nari beams wickedly! "You know… if there's one thing I've got to admire about Brad, it's how he's fucking crazy- even for a human!"

FWAAA~SH! Then, freakin'-... the two fairies flash unbelievably bright again.

When we're done being freakin' blind, uuh…

Ha-chan, the real OG, is left with her normal wings. She stumbles around, looking numb for a moment.

"Aaa-..." She held her head. "My-... my thinking stuff. No~. Nnh..." Her brain returned to being smooth, I presume!

After a moment of holding her head, she smiled again. "If-... if that's what thinking's like… I- I don't know if I wanna think. I wish I could think without all of that… weird, random pain and anger."

I dunno what to even think. It's very much a problem unique ta her!

Maria reasons with that idea. "I think you could. You'd just need… Nari, whoever that is, to cooperate. As long as she believes her cynicism, that's her world."

Ha-chan smiled wider. "Um. I don't know if that's gonna happen!"

Where'd they go? Nikkou and Nari are freakin'... gone.

Oh. Wait. Oh shit.

On the floor…

Steppin' up, I kneel down, and pick up two plant hangers.

Their designs are nearly identical. One is orange, a gem fit in the center shining with the grace of the sun.

The other has a plasma-colored gem in its center, a glorious and ominous light pulsating from its center, the hanger occasionally crackling with a harmless but spooky charge.

Nikkou and Nari. Grace and glory.

"Hehehehaha~!" Oh my god- Nari still spoke, and it spooked me! "D'you have an object permanence fetish, Nikki-chan!?"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! Psycho!"

"Hahahaha! Suffer with me, wench! We're plant hangers now!"

"In a hundred years, when this human dies of age and we are free, I will strangle the daylight from your feeble mortal body!"

"Hee~hehehe! If that's the price for your pain, so be it!"

Freakin'...!

CLICK! Before they really go off, I clack them together! "Hey. Stop eating all the chapter bandwidth!"

"Hah! Listen to his greed!" Nari criticizes me! "First he retroactively super duper dumps me- then he tells me to be quiet when I turn myself into a plant hanger! You can't- make- this shit up!"

"Son- what'm I supposed to do!? Can you imagine how annoying talk weapons actually are!?" Freakin'...!

I can't believe I actually have to take a page from the MSPaint Dante.

"Alright- whoever talks way too much is goin' into the cum jar." I click 'em together again…! "For both of our sanities… when you're a weapon, unless it's really important: no~ talking!"

"The- the cum jar!? Hahahaha~!" Nari apparently really likes that! Man, when Ha-chan's not with her, she's really off-kilter! "I wanna see where you store this cum jar!"

Freakin'...

Clack! I click 'em together again! "No, talking!"

"As you wish." Nikkou concedes the idea. "It was my plan to hibernate indefinitely. Awake me when the shame is over."

"I'm good at staring…" Nari decides! "Where do you think Hana gets her stalker side from? Electricity's awesome at sitting in one place… until it needs to GO!" Ow! She got really shrill!

Clack! "Especially no super yelling!" I click 'em together again!

...Man, these are some unwieldy ass hangers. They have no hilt; right now I'm holding them by their freakin'... long spikes. Where the fuck do I hold them?

Wait. Oh!

Underneath each one's up-facing design… is a series of three braces.

Awkwardly, slowly, I slide my arms into each brace.

Shiif. The braces firmly squeeze onto either arm.

They're… despite having spike-like angles that imply the plant hanger design, they're like gauntlets.

Huh. Experimentally, I kinda just, punch at the air. All woosh, woosh.

...Eeuh. How useful will these things be? My arm strength is minimal! Hmm. They have blades that poke away from myself on either arm. Guess the big idea is me just zippin' around like an asshole cutting at things, 'cause I'm too weak to do blunt damage.

Oh, right. The areas that'd be 'hilts' on normal hangers are uh… spikes. Mostly pointed at me! I could impale myself with these girls if I'm not careful!

If I keep my arms in punching posture, the spikes face away from me, but uh, god help me if I throw a regular punch instead of tryina' go for blade swipes.

Also, unlike gauntlets, instead of knuckle guards or things that fit onto you knuckles, the actual area over my knuckles is an impact shield and two aesthetic but spiky metal bits. ...Yeah, uh, s'probably not made for punching.

...Idly, I look around the ship!

It's so dark out now! Most of the light on deck is made by Maria's staff, which she feeds to keep things lit.

Genkan, Remilia and Flandre are all spooky, their eyes glowing in the dim darkness of the night sky.

"Man…" Flandre worked at her own neck. "I'm glad you didn't try turning me into a plant hanger, Remi."

Remilia gives her a flat look! "If anyone would get the both of us transformed into inanimate objects, it would be you."

"What!" Flandre beams! "Well, whatever. The idea of being a weapon seems lame anyway."

Remilia rolls her eyes. "Please. You would have been totally down for such a thing, decades ago."

"I was my own weapon. Unless I met a cool guy. But I was too violent for that, at the time…"

"Fufu. Indeed…"

Aw. "Have either of you seen this portrait someone made of Meiling getting turned into a chair."

Remilia looks at me with the most airy expression! "You better not have simply made that up, or else my opinion of you shall permanently degrade." Woah no!

I raise a finger! "Internet! That's where I saw it!"

"...Oh. Yes, I see." Remilia acknowledges the cursed potential. "Probably not Meiling exactly, but… the internet- and the outside- are strange realms indeed…"

I'm not allowed to say it, but that image is actually of Meiling. Remilia probably thought of something way more metal than just 'Meiling shaped like a chair'. Like, 'Meiling being skinned alive and then taxidermied into chair shape'.

...That's fucked up to even think about, so I won't!

Renko's staring at the stars. Sammy's curled up at the same table as her, shivering her ass off, teeth chatterin' away.

...Since I am morbidly curious as to how they're faring, I come on up to their table!

Maria comes up, too.

fwoof. She blows a fire onto the metal garden table. This will probably damage the table, but y'know whatever!

woosh. ...Nevermind, the wind just put the fire out, 'cause we're on a boat.

"Dang it."Maria points her staff forward!

Fwoof! The fire begins stronger!

"Brad, toss your freaking, fire hanger into it." Ooh. Maria's wish is my command!

Clack. Red Scare gets plopped right on into the flames.

...Maria stops burning her mana, literally, and the plant hanger keeps burning before us. Thing's like a chunk a' Netherrack or some shit.

After a moment, still freezin' her tits off, Sammy looks at me!

I look at her!

"What-..." Y'know, I forgot she was here, but she must be direly confused! "What the fu- fuck…" She sniffs, inhaling snot before it gets away.

Y'know-... I bet she's wondering what the actual fuck she just witnessed! How long was she watching!? Oh, man.

Renko's smiling, despite her half-frozen disposition. Dude- her blankets are frosting over! There's not enough ice resistance to go around for everybody…!

"That was-..." Renko blinks unsurely, her nose also a little runny, "entirely in- incompre… incomprehensible."

Wait. I wonder now...

Focusing magic into Nikkou, I try and aim 'er at the table! ...Oh. Okay, so she doesn't just work like a flashlight. Big sad.

"Do not." What- she even protests back! "You cannot simply ask something for nothing of me."

What the-... "So, what, am I supposed t'buy ya presents? Y'want a pan for New Years…!?"

"...Presents would be nice. But, no, that is not what I am after. I'm seeking resonance."

"Explain to me~ like I'm five." Yeah man the hyper-resonance…!

"You have to show me. In the heat of battle, actions and behavior speak louder than the defensive cowardice of words." Heat actions!? Ouh, I dunno...

Whah… s'this a riddle? Does she want me to be in a fight!? That's not very good for tutorialization!

Nari interjects next! "Oh, bother, Nikkou, you don't know the first thing about Brad. You should just be honest."

"Why should I bother to be honest? A man's worth is to find meaning by himself."

"Tsk. They call- me- crazy."

"If you're so wise, get on with it."

I feel like an asshole, just staring at my glowing armbands as they talk.

Nari gets on with it, and pretty promptly at that! "Warm Nikkou up in the heat of physical combat. Warm me up by letting me absorb magic… either through a generous gift of your own, or by borrowing someone else's."

"Simply getting into a foolish fight will not impress me." Nikkou contests!

"Well, what turns you on then?"

"It doesn't turn me on! ...Again, if he can't figure it out, then so be it."

Hmm. I think I got an idea…

"Yo, Genkan!" Genkan's right here! "Come at me and try to beat the everloving shit out of me!"

Suddenly drifting up, Genkan gives me a sad smile! "Why would you make me do that? Where did the thought even come from?"

"My angry armbands want to see the shit get kicked outta me! So I kinda wanna experiment!"I tell 'er!

Okay, my idea is that sun fairy Nikkou in there wants to see me parry some shit. Actually…

"...I'm not entirely certain if you should be experimenting like that." Genkan is still uncertain. "If you should ask anyone to hit you, it should be Maria."

It takes me a moment to realize why she suggests that! Maria's also a human, so she wouldn't mega launch me for no reason.

Sammy pipes up instead! "Alright- if I stand still any longer, I'm gonna fuckin' freeze."

Standin' before me, she cracks her knuckles. "I honestly don't even know if I'm dreamin' or what. Like if I bonked my head damn hard walkin' outta the village or something. Seriously- what in sam hell is goin' on!?"

"You're gonna kick my ass!" I tell 'er!

She beams at me, smiling aggressively! "Alright, bro! Just, uh, don't fight back please. I'm the bratty type, but that don't mean I take no abuse. An' that's what it would be! So don't."

...This is a really surreal feeling. Sammy acknowledges that I could just freakin' annihilate her. I suppose it's not so surreal to think about, after I was able to work down Shimokoa after a ten years long war.

"Don't worry!" I promise her! "I shall be only defensive!" As much as I'm able to!

...With that, Sammy brings her fists up! "Alright!"

Y'know, if Sammy punches Nikkou, she's probably going to hurt her hand. This thing's not a pillow, it's a metal death trap.

So I just gotta angle it so she only hits the flattest parts! ...Also, I get this feeling only Nikkou's into the whole parrying thing.

Sammy comes at me! "Hah!"She throws a hook!

whap. I use Nikkou to stop the impact! And, uh, yeah. Stop it I did!

...Sammy steps back, waving her hand around! "Ouw." Oh no. It still hurt!

"...No." Nikkou denies the interaction! "No, no, no. This is unimpressive."

"Ooh, come on." Son…!

"A fight is only a fight when your adversary is superior or equal! A fight- even a losing one- against an inferior force is a sign of your own weakness."

Ooh, okay, so any attack that's a threat counts, and Sammy's apparently not a threat.

"Wha- says you!" Sammy gets mad at the plant hanger! "If I got the jump on 'em, I could- beat his ears in, or bust his nose!"

Nikkou does not argue with Sammy. Oou…

"If you must know!" Nikkou adds on more information! "It must be a matter of the heart!"

"She means it's gotta be personal." Nari explains. "Even if the physical risk is sufficient, Brad's also gotta be provoked. No use in playing pretend."

Aah. Man… "You guys are really picky for weapons."

"We will not serve a human child." Nikkou provides! "Even if you've earned our obedience, the quality of it will be the measure of your character."

Aah. Well…

"Didn't I kick yer ass? With stakes?" I argue with Nikkou! "My lover and friends were on the line, y'know. Gimme a test trial."

"...Fine."

SHI- Krack! Ooh- shit! Nikkou flares neon-white for a second, with such a bright white light that it blinds me!

When the flash is over, Nikkou remains lit bright orange, and heat flows freely from the hanger gauntlet's core. Is she even really a plant hanger? I mean, I guess y'could make a specific slot for its spiky end in the wall… but ya wouldn't be using normal screws.

Only Nikkou is lit. I guess I'd hafta do something to appeal to Nari to get her to light up.

Alright! Uuh…

I channel magic into Nikkou again! Not with any real intent- I just hope something will happen!

"Don't do that." Uh oh. "Simply do." What!

Alright. Okay. Aah… how about this? I throw a punch at the tea table!

Fwash! A ball of sunlight is shot from Nikkou!

Fwaam! After the cloudy projectile soars past Renko, it splits in half from hitting the table right on the edge. Afterward, the ball flares outward, the light unleashed.

"Ah. That was… warm." Renko informs me! "If only the ball stayed there."

I look at Nikkou! "Can ya do that?"

...No response!

"Guess not."

Suppose a big note is to be made: Nikkou and Nari are weapons, not utilities! They do not like actually being useful outside of combat!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Me, Renko and Sammy are in the ship's cabin! There's less wind in here, which is honestly most of the piercing ass fuck. Also, I gotta aim the ship so we can get to the party on the ground...

Also, Genkan. "The village should be that way." She points out of a rear window. She can see better in the dark than me, dude… "Which would mean the shrine is a little to the left… from here."

The cabin itself here has a glass window that spans the middle of every wall, stretchin' around the entire thing. S'pretty useful!

Also, there are some metal places of the floor in the back, so a small bonfire was possible. Renko and Sammy are a little cozier now…

This is so fuckin' surreal. We just dueled greater sky fairies in freakin'... the Earth's orbit, over Gensokyo, with a random teenage hoe from the village and Renko watching. Also, the Scarlet sisters!

"Just move, and I'll tell you what corrections to make." Genkan helps out, knowing I could not see what she sees in the distance.

"Ye." I start to press the GUI buttons on my panel to move the ship around!

...Once that's in motion, aah… yeah. Yeehaw. Just kinda doin' the ship logistics!

On the deck, outside the windshield before me, Ha-chan is shmoozin' up her bosses, technically. Ho~h…

I'll keep callin' her Ha-chan. I think she'd want that. It might be a silly little thing, but it's our silly little thing, and we don't gotta go abandonin' it just yet. If only to spite the greater combined lightning fairy!

After a moment a' me just, fiddlin' with controls and watching the ship turn, Renko comes up next ta me.

She stares out the window too, at the broader starry sky framing the ship's deck.

"It's 11:11. Think you could get back to the party in time?"

Oouh. "Well, maybe!"

"That's good. I wonder if Merry's still there."

If she's still there, I'm gonna dip her in the koi pond. You know the one- the one where they give ya a net and let ya catch a fish, and if the net don't break, you can keep the fish. Merry's gonna get to go for a swim, yeah man!

Oh, right! When we get back to the ground, I have the perfect idea! Ooh, man… I just remembered it! It got knocked outta my skull when we had to fight the multi-man melee!

"For each stone we leave unturned… think of the things that are left unlearned." Uh oh.

She looks at me! Kinda expectantly, at that!

How awkward…! Was she planning on me responding to that!?

Almost tiredly, I look at Renko. I'm a little pooped after all of that internet piracy! "Shit. I forgot to put a bathroom on the ship, didn't I?"

Renko gave me a firmer smile! "That's not it."

"What was it, then…?"

"When I saw how that village girl reacted to all of this, it got me thinking. About the things people miss, day-to-day."

Sammy clarifies from the back, near the bonfire! "Name's Sammy, sis."

Nodding once to acknowledge Sammy, Renko smiles wider. "Sammy leapt into Gensokyo when she was young, to see and live more. Despite that, she couldn't see past the village when it took her under its wing. Even having grown up here, spending exponentially more time here than you, Brad."

Standing from the bonfire in the back, Sammy gets up, and peruses on over to us...

And she interjects! "So what the hell've rocks and stones gotta do with it?"

A question! Renko pounces on it! "For every stone we ignore, we don't even guess something valuable may be underneath. In fact, it's almost like we say something valuable won't be underneath. In assuming so, our world shrinks. I'd even say it becomes less interesting."

...When Sammy just kinda stares, Renko huffs. "It's, um, a metaphor. For all the opportunities we don't take. For all the moments we have yet to see, where we shut ourselves off. But…"

She points briefly at Sammy. "You asked me about it. That's basically like overturning a stone. What I've just said is what you found underneath."

...Wit' nothin' better to do, Sammy licks her own lips. "Mmn. I mean…"

"This applies to things and people too." Renko perks up! "Oh! You play video games, right, Sammy? Imagine all of the villagers who don't have access to it. Imagine those who would even shun it."

"Oh my god, right!?" Suddenly, Sammy gets it! "Holy shit! I feel like the last sane girl on Earth! Fuck me! Like-" she looks at me!

"Remember Orato?" She asks me! "Dude's fat yaoi hands can hardly grip a controller right- and he crushes them half the time! Dude gets fuckin', mad at the controller companies, when it's his fat ass hands that're the problem!"

Ah, yes, a redditor who also can't play video games. Otherwise known as 'dead and gone'.

Regardless, I gotta say this! "Sammy, y'know, on the outside, gamer girls are highly prized!" Yeah man!

Rolling her eyes, Sammy snorts. "Oh, as if. Look at me, dude." She pats her flat chest! "I look like a fuckin' farmer, man. I ain't the pretty sparklin' wife all the weebs're lookin' for. Fuck off wit' that shit."

Eeuh. "I dunno man, you'd be surprised." I guess enough of them are dumbo enough to not appreciate that. Just imagine how many weebs would actually repulse their dream waifu. Not from a hygiene standpoint; that's an easy fix with a little routine adjustment. I mean from a personality perspective.

"If you say so." I don't think she's casting the same net I am, but s'whatever.

Renko snorts. "Sammy, I think… to put it abstractly, he thinks that there are people who would appreciate your perspective." Yeah- something like that!

Sammy grunts a little. "Nnh. He might. Not everyone does. This village's full of losers. Half-respectable human beings start becomin'... prime cuts a' fuckable meat."

...Renko has a slightly haunted look at the expression! "Wh- where'd you get a saying like that?"

"My bro Orato- this fat ass dude at the Grin- told me!" Yeah that's- about as expected!

Cyberpunk 2077 reference, we did it. I bet everyone's gonna forget that line was a meme in a year, and it will cease to be a reference.

Renko keeps goin'! "Now, imagine the same… except you're the person who doesn't understand video games. How is one to make you see them… if you are firmly rebellious to the context clues they put down?"

Sammy shrugs. "Fuck if I know. All I know is, I like a good adventure." Yeah woohoo!

Renko liked that. "That's a good way to look at things…" She wasn't gonna press the original point; it's been long enough for us to forget!

"Heh. So I'm told." Sammy's heard that one before.

An' then Renko jumps onto a different train of thought! "So. Does Brad impress you? As someone who's done so much more exploring? Someone so removed from the worldly grasp of the village?"

Sammy jerks her head back a little! "Where the hell'd that come from? ...But, yeah, bro here's pretty impressive."

My ego appreciates the gesture, but I know it's not a huge compliment coming from someone in a position like hers. Y'know aside from the fact that she's outright trying to schmooze me for bodyguard duty.

And, almost on cue, Sammy takes back her compliment! "But he ain't an honest man either." Ooh? "I know he wanted to smack that fairy ass. Just as he was lowkey gettin' a boner when I was climbin' all over him."

Renko smirks, a little awkwardly. "Aa- ah? Then, do you think you see something he doesn't?"

"Yeah. I think I'm honest wit' myself. I might be a li'l dumb, but that's okay. At least I ain't all mixed up." The implication is that I'm dishonest!

Unfortunately, I am not sex people. This is a line I draw! But, I don't gotta say anything on my own.

Which means naturally Sammy puts me on the spot! "What about you, Brad?"

She gives me an outright confident expression. Like, focused brows and everything! "You sure you ain't gonna get sick of princess over there in time? ...Like how you supposedly got sick a' Hana out there?"

Ouu. She thinks that's a really good one- and therefore, the price of convincing her that such a burn isn't that strong is fierce!

Here's the real catch-twenty two! A wordy but logical comeback will make me look like a noob. But how do you condense me and Genkan's relationship into a snappy comeback? How do you explain the difference between Hana and Genkan to her? You can't.

If I wanted to play offended, this is the part where I'd have a heartfelt speech and take Sammy to verbal poundtown over my own feelings. That's like, the Beast Style of conversation ethic. Then I'd act like it was her fault if she doesn't bend the knee.

However, if I wanted to have an edge over her own preconception… well, she's not a total idiot, so I just gotta apply myself!

Y'know what they say: don't argue with an idiot! They'll bring you down to their level and beat you senseless! So you bring them to your level!

...Not that Sammy's an idiot exactly, but we're dealing with like highschool-tier ability to conceive depth in other people, so you gotta play by the rules.

I answer Sammy! "No!"

Still confident, Sammy furrows her brows. "Huh? Why not?" Gotcha!

This is when y'put in a more complete answer! "'Cause I know myself better now. I know more 'bout love. I dunno if it would make sense to you if I explained it."

And- "And I know, if I've got such random urges... with the stuff I have, and with Genkan, I'll be able to set 'em aside easily. Suffice to say, sexual appetite is like, entirely instinctual. It is beneath the branch of social acceptance, but not integral."

Or, even more basically: "Genkan accepts me. I need nothin' else."

See, some people say having friends makes you weak, but the reality is that they both do and don't. It's all actually about logistics!

...Also, this could go bad if Sammy doesn't take 'I know more about being in an actual loving relationship than you' as an answer, 'cause then I'm just dumb and stupid in her reality.

"You could say y'love her with all her heart all you like." Ohp! My guess was correct- she's not buying it! "I've heard the same line at least a hundred times in the Grin. Fact you have to say it at all means you're bullshitting me."

My mistake: opening my mouth or trying to convey my point at all! But, my prediction was accurate.

What'm I gonna do with that accuracy? ...In the context of this conversation nothing because she's a tough nut. But, if this conversation comes up again I can more firmly cite what she doesn't know.

Except that's when Genkan interjects, still along the window behind us! She was tryin'a watch the ship turn, but now she's takin' a moment to set things straight. "Sammy. You do not know our life. You don't know how we met, or the things we've shared on this adventure. While we're certainly not a final and formal thing… I know the love I feel is real. If words mean nothing to you, then this conversation ends here."

...Sammy doesn't have much to say about that. She furrows her brows, opens her mouth, but…

Wait, no, she has somethin' to say! "Love ain't like in the fairy tales, honey. There's no happily ever after. If you go putting blind faith in a man, even a class-act, you'll only get burned."

"This isn't some club." Genkan smiled back condescendingly. "Where do you think you are? You're on a boat built from impulse and paranoia, flown over the sky of a magical land where fairies turn themselves into plant hangers. What was that about fairy tales?"

Damn Genkan- you didn't have to kill her like that! No~...!

...Sammy really has nothin' to say about that! She grins incredulously!

Renko interjects with her own observations! "Brad thought about his reply to you, Sammy. He bet on how you'd react, to convince you of what he saw as the truth."

I add onto that! "An' I gambled wrong, 'cause the way I worded it just made you suspicious!" Fortunately, Genkan was here to kick her ass verbally in her own way. Genkan's absolute bulldozer technique was quite convincing, I'm sure!

"When he thought he got you to listen, he said what he wanted to say. He wanted to show you just how much love he knew, to imply how much you didn't know. So that, potentially, you could take the clue and develop your own idea of romance."

Sammy furrowed her brows, in slightly-confused… mystification. I dunno! It's quite an emotion! "Damn. That's a thought, huh? ...People in the Grin are good at fakin' even that. So who're any of us to say? Brad and his lady know how it is. Doesn't matter what I think. What's it to him?"

Renko has her own 'gotcha' moment. "Remember what I said about stones unturned?"

Sammy huffs. "Beat my head in with a rock, why don'cha?"

Renko giggles! "Hehe-... well. Brad just wanted to show you just what you'd yet to learn. I'm sure he can envision romantic sparks with many people other than Genkan, but in learning that from Genkan, he is satisfied exercising all there is worth exercising about romance with her."

Renko's a physicist, right? Where the fuck is this all coming from…?

Sammy double-takes! "How can ya even say that? What if he dumps her the next day?"

Leaning back, beholding the absolute improbability of that, Renko nearly smirks. "Hi~ghly unlikely, and if it did happen, it'd probably be something novel and specific, rather than a domestic thing. A mundane parting… one that might take a few years to develop. If it happens. I don't think anyone can say just yet."

Sammy could've been more reductive and defensive if she tried. Definitely not the most narrow minded person we've met.

Unlike someone we know! Cough, Shimokoa, cough.

Sammy smirks! "You sure you ain't too impressed with him, Renny? To give 'em that much benefit a' the doubt?"

"Re- Renny?" Renko's stare becomes drier. "Eeh. He just reminds me of a friend, is all. And, I know how she acts. I just had it on good faith."

...Wha- wait, hold on, there's another me out there? Oh, right, Maribel. ...I wouldn't consider us that similar! Dunno 'bout that!

"Sounds to me like you got the hots for him. Am I hearin' girl number five for the harem?" Sammy is a force of evil.

Renko has the faintest, most skeptical smile possible.

Sammy smiles back at her, finding a chipper smile when she notices Renko's haunted one.

"I still dunno how big his dick is." Sammy decides to state this arbitrarily!

Renko doesn't bother to argue with her!. "It's just... very hard to put into words."

Sammy's eyes widen! "Wait, you know!?"

"No! I mean- how some people are better at connecting than others, than other people!"

Sammy grins! "You still talkin' about this shit? Man. You wordy girls are always weird. Makes me feel like I like, missed a memo 'er somethin' when I was born…"

Renko's mouth just opens, but she doesn't have anything to say!

Sammy finds a different tone to the subject really quickly. "But don't go talkin' like I don't know how. I know what ass kissin' looks like. And Brad here, he's not exactly an ass-kisser. Just sort of one. Trust me: I live at the Grin. I know what ass-kissin' looks like."

...Aah. Sammy recognizes how people are adaptable… just on her own terms, not ours. In somewhere like a pricey casino, people throw up the most fake and formal fronts all the time and let their money do the talking.

Imagine if I went off for five paragraphs sayin' how this could go if she didn't have even that knowledge.

Wait. Actually, that's just Shimokoa. Basically. Wahoo.

Someone like Shimokoa would need this sort of analysis. To me and to some other people, this is like, breathing, so it's really boring to talk about it. But to other people, this is literally some ascended shit.

And it's knowing that those people find this shit ascended which gives me satisfaction in talking about it. It's like playing a game really well, or like, understanding the symbology links between design philosophy and narrative!

Y'know, that's basically why I hate Kingdom Hearts. It's symbology and emotions, but none of it feels real 'cause it just connects to more symbology and emotions. Everything exists in a contextless void where nothing acts remotely human.

...It's not even a big deal, but Sammy doesn't seem to recognize the more subtle ways me and Renko are intentionally being hospitable; trying to work with her. Really, that encapsulates Renko's entire point about freakin' rocks from ten minutes ago.

"Brad's kind of a fairy boy, as sunny-chan put it, but he's got guts." Putting her arms on her own hips, Sammy keeps goin'! "It's a real class-act kinda demeanor. He's the kinda guy who pays well and claps some good ass. Right, Genkan?"

...We turn to Genkan, and she's right there!

"Brad." Oh- geez! She's so close! "Turn left by ten degrees, or so." When'd you learn what a mathematical degree was? Man. For a cave-dwellin' snow lady, Genkan's a lot more educated than yer regular country bumpkin…

Sammy giggles! "Ya- ya said that with so much authority!"

Renko adjusts her hat a little. I- I like how she's fascinated by her own hat. "It's- not exactly ten degrees. Twenty might be safer. Actually, try thirty-five."

Genkan looks slightly offended. Like, in a 'how's she know' sorta way. I'm gonna have to trust Renko 'cause she's a physicist by trade…!

See- I think lookin' at people's interesting, because gauging the actual scope of people and their probability of interpreting things a certain way is important, especially if you're trying to get a point across. If y'just wanna interact with them, all you gotta do is roll with 'em.

Even if they find a braindead take, you realize pretty quickly it's none a' your beeswax, and neither logic or fear will solve their problem. It's up to them to start flippin' stones. Very, very hard to tell people to start doing that.

'Cause it's like: you basically insult them and call them retarded at the same time when you do, when it's like… no dude, y'just gotta start viewing stuff… really differently, to build offa' what you already know. We've all been there! But, it takes tremendous willpower for people to internalize it.

Myself, I feel like I always internally take a step back and go, 'you know, reality is shit enough that I'm probably looking at this the entirely wrong way', or, 'I could totally just randomly misconceive this idea entirely and take the midnight train to asshole town trying to experiment with the concept'.

You realize what people miss, the things they habitually ignore… or as Renko puts it, the stones they leave unturned. And that's where you know their weaknesses lie.

Knowing what they've left unturned gives me satisfaction, and gives me understanding. Both of where my limitations lie, what I've yet to learn, and so on.

But even if that's what I like, not everyone likes it. I think they're missin' out, big time. But as long as they tell themselves it isn't worth it, it isn't. Self-fulfilling prophecies are real!

I might think Kingdom Hearts is a pile of shit, but there's one quote near the start a' the first game that holds some serious merit.

One who knows nothing, understands nothing.

The more say Sammy hasn't learned, the less she can recognize what other people have learned. She's learned enough to know that she doesn't know things, at least.

People like Shimokoa have learned so little yet become so complacent, they feel entitled to already know everything… when they don't even know what learning looks like anymore.

Maybe, with the mutual brain smoothening me and Shimokoa put each other through, she understands where I- and the entire world- am and are coming from, at least a little.

...Has no one said anything fer a while? I guess not.

Renko's back to staring around at the windows. Sammy's starin' Genkan down…

...Right- I gotta turn the ship a little more! Beep, beep, boop.

Genkan adds onto her instructions! "I also suggest we throw Sammy overboard for mutiny."

Sammy laughs! "Pfthah! Mutiny!? How'd I mutinize ya!?"

Renko shook her head. "Still! I mean… Brad. Imagine if Sammy here had similar flexibility. To go on her own adventure."

Well! "Who's to say she ain't on her own adventure? One day she might throw together a reverse harem and become the big strong!"

Sammy perks up at that idea! "Oh, hell yeah! And you're gonna be in it!"

Yeah, okay! "I~ don't think so."

"Heh!" Sammy beams at me, and points a finger right into my face! "Tsundere~."

I just got accused of being a tsundere by an underaged weeb from Montana.

Just imagine how this conversation coulda played out differently if I didn't play it koo'. Everyone coulda been silent and lowkey weirded out instead a' vibin' like this. To me, that's a big difference.

But, y'know, this is why I love Genkan. I can let down my guard around her. She and Maria are really good listeners, and my tangents aren't wasted. Except for where I'm wasteful, which y'know… yeah. But, at least it'd be my fault for failing to narrow down my idea, rather than theirs for refusing to listen.

'Cause, like… I make a good effort to not be wrong and to make statements with a good probability of being true, but you can still lack technique and be right at the same time. Or be naive. The idea kinda frustrates me, but y'know, if this were an ideal world I wouldn't've all but fled to Gensokyo!

You know what my favorite thing about philosophical thought is? The weird strings of paragraph starting sentences!

'I just got accused of being a tsundere by an underaged weeb from Montana.' … 'But, y'know, this is why I love Genkan'. Wahaha!

I can definitely see how I'm a tsundere from Sammy's perspective. And honestly? It makes me respect tsunderes just that little bit more!

Wait. Is Genkan a tsundere? ...Kind of! She doesn't watch anime, so I don't think she knows how cursed the term's become. But, Genkan's more like… 'realistic tsundere'. Her jeers are jokes, and she's peace-loving.

"At the end of the day," I talk while operating, "Genkan is peace-loving." This was sufficiently both comfy and random for me to non-sequitur into!

...I turn to her again. Genkan has become soft and amicable. I love her so much!

Seeing Genkan's brief window of vulnerability, Sammy instantly understands so much from so little.

Renko can't emote in a way that means anything contextually, so she just has the vaguest expression! But, I think she understands the context.

Genkan realizes we're staring, and bristles up adorably again. "...Why are you all looking at me?"

"'Cause I'm gonna snuggle you!" C'mere son!

Genkan moves back, spooked! "What…? Brad- not here!"

fwii~sh! When I ramble towards her, she sprays frost into my face!

...fwoof. From the snow she makes on my face, a fluffle spawns, and I hold it.

"Oh my god." Renko is bamboozled. "How."

"What." Sammy is amazed! "Did-... did that just-...!?

I press the snow fluff's forehead to my lips. "Aw." It's snuggly, dude.

"What the fuck!" Sammy can't get over it! "What…!?"

Ooh… what- oh no! It's trying to get away!

The fluffle gets away.

It climbs up Sammy's leg for a moment, causing her to tense up, but then it leaps off her and moves for a wall.

"Whaha- ooh, god!" Sammy beams nervously! "Oh geez, damn…"

"We're going the right way." Genkan nods! "We should now be moving for the lake. There, we can park, and make our way to the party…"

Hoh, ho ho.

Man. Being on this ship feels weirdly festive. Even if it's dark, and there's no holiday lights hung up…

Just being up here in the night sky feels stupidly profound. Utterly prof-

"I'm starting to see what Merry expects of me." Renko says outta nowhere!

Oh? "Like what?"

"Hana, like a fool feeling bold, found a rock- you- and called you gold. So you were. In fact, if what the fairies said is to be believed… you were chosen, as a champion for nature."

Hoh. "Yeah. Guess so!"

Renko's got this look in her eyes. "Who's to say Sammy didn't get it too, but she just couldn't actualize it- and still hasn't?"

Sammy stops looking for the fluffle that got away, and looks at us.

"For Sammy's incapability, should nature have never looked for you?"

...Hu~h. "Am I really gold…?"

Renko smiled. "Fool's gold." Dayum! "You seem capable enough."

"Do I?"

"If Hana and nature hadn't risked their trust in you, you wouldn't be so free and natural. If Genkan hadn't set aside her sheltered comfort, you wouldn't be allowed to explore an experimental love so deep. If Maria hadn't thrown caution to the wind and ran with you guys, she wouldn't know this adventure."

Ho~h…?

"You're something humble of size, compared to all of the people Gensokyo has to offer," Renko tells me, "but to Maria and Genkan, you're something dull yet highly prized."

"Gensokyo is not just something witnessed through anybody's eyes. And yet, here you are, putting Merry to shame with your thirst for the land."

Renko's writing this down in a notebook- when'd that happen!?

"It's so very interesting. I think Merry's even a little jealous."

Ooh? "Is she…?"

"Yeah. 'Cause… this was supposed to be our story. It infuriates her that you two couldn't collaborate."

Huh.

"You've got an obsession with the fantastic, Brad. You want to see absolutely, positively everything you can. You've even become a little phantasmal yourself, trying to grasp the vastness.

"Just like a friend of mine."

Sammy chips in, after hearin' that! "God, if your friend's so hot for the dude, why don't she come up and confess? S'it 'cause of Genkan here? Wait, woah, do we got a love triangle!?" Why's she excited about this!?

...Renko gives her another flat stare! "Sammy, no. Merry's-... you know, I don't even know if she's straight. She might be bi."

"No shit?" Sammy appreciated that information! "Score. We oughta have an orgy."

...Renko just gives her the most done expression! "What kind of upbringing did you have- to just casually suggest we have an orgy?"

"A wild one." Pfhohoh, oh my god.

That doesn't make Renko any less worried!

But, uh… "If I'm mister fantastic over here, what was with Maribel tryin'a ice me?"

Renko tilted her head back. "...I see why now."

Okay, that's cool, but tell me why…!

"Brad. It's our honor as freaks, to report this breaking news." Renko beamed at me. "It's the winners who write history. Me and Merry aren't gonna lose.

"You're both racing to see the most. If Merry can recruit you under her wing, then she will be the person who develops and writes it all down. We're both prospective muses of hers. She feels threatened by your refusal, especially when someone like you is so… oddly specific.

"In fact, she felt threatened by my refusal. But… I see what she's trying to do now. Doesn't mean I have to like it, but… this really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"What's so limited edition about it?" I gotta wonder!

"Hmm?" Renko pauses. "...Oh, right. It wouldn't be obvious, huh? This tale of fantasy nature will be the story of our youth, and our right to control our own destiny. Maribel wants to escape this world as bad as you do. I… I don't want to give it up, but in the face of all of this… it's so very appealing.

"If we're going to do it ever, it better be now. When we're young, unscarred by how irrelevant we truly are to society. Once we're disciplined, we could lose sight of what we hold dearest to us."

With that, Renko began to move.

"Thanks for the warm-up!" Renko gave me a salute! "I know exactly what to say to Merry now!"

"Like what…!?"

She gives me a wink. "You'll see."

With that, Renko ran outta the cabin room!

Clack! Leaping out, she landed on the deck outside, her legs buckling.

Then, after pushing herself to stand, she leapt right onto the ship's guard rail. Holding her arms out, she twirled around… and backflipped right off.

"What the fuck!? Woah!" Sammy's mouth goes agape! "Heh-... hehehe! Holy shit! Is-... is she gonna be okay?"

"I'd hope so!" This would all have a really unfortunate and hilariously morbid twist ending if Renko just straight up committed suicide after our deep psuedo-philosophical conversation…!

With that, peaceful silence returns to the ship.

"Eee~!" Flandre's trying to tickle Ha-chan in the distance, and she squeals!

...I turn to Genkan.

Genkan emits howling wind noises, as she stares at me plainly.

...My lips purse as I stare back.

"Do you know how to land this?" Genkan asks! "We're about hovering over the lake now."

Oh, shit, are we!? "Oh, woah!" S'time to land the ship!

...Wait, I found the clock on the HUD! Yeah, only took a giganto super war, a boss fight, and a philosophical conundrum. Guess it's more like, the clock found itself.

Wait. Oh my god.

I just realized.

"Renko threw herself off the ship because she wanted a mutiny." Renko you smarmy bastard…!

...Genkan gives me a small look when I tell her this!

"Oh my god." Sammy beams! "Toxic!" Stop talking. Be quiet for several days.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"Badabu~m!" Yeah! "Badabuuu~m! Badabum, badabum, bada- da- da- da, dadadada!"

I sing the ship landing theme from Jet Force Gemini over the ship's intercom, as I hang the ship in the air!

RRRRRRR. The water engines roar, as we rotate the ship around just before the Misty Lake, over the end of the Hakurei trail…!

Outside, Genkan and Ha-chan and Flandre are helping with the extended bag garage opening. Now~...

Paying attention to the rear view screens set up in here, I dial the ship back inside!

VRRRRRRR~! The whole thing rumbles, miniature lakes drawn in the sand and soil before the lake as the infinite assfuck water jets pound into the ground…!

Soon, the ship is lit with the bleak garage lights, and uu~h… yeah- stop! Man, screens are so handy. Wish cars had rear-view cameras by default. Guess safety isn't really a big concern on the road. If the consumer dies, they die. Tough shit.

FRRRR- CLA- CLACK! Ooh- man! Whatever the landing braces they set up in here are- they're some tough shit!

The entire ship loudly boings in place, after sitting on a bed of spring-like plates that hold it. Sounds like such a freakin' death trap…

...An' then, I shut it off on the GUI. After a few moments, it enters the semi-off state where it can be toggled on again at a later date.

...Ooh! Suddenly, Remilia's in here with me!

"This was fun." She decides! "...I hadn't expected what happened."

"Yeah- s'about as well as it went last time, innit…!?" Our last assfuck boat adventure extravaganza- when I first came ta Gensokyo- was a freakin'... adventure!

"Fufufu. I suppose."

With that, Remilia moves! "Let's get a move on, boy. Or else, we won't be there when the proverbial ball drops."

Why'd you have to italicize ball. The ball drop, man. Yeah man…!

"Yeah- shit, we better get moving!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

11:45 PM. The black, densely starlit sky ticks by on a peaceful evening.

"Well…" Genkan takes in the cool evening. "We made it to the party…"

The Hakurei hillside, at the top here, is mostly cleared a' snow. The slopes aren't, 'cause you're supposed to use the stairs, but me and Genkan are rebels.

So is Maria! "Ba- barely…" She uses her wooden frost staff to climb the snowy slope!

...Ha-chan carried Sammy up the hill, so she didn't freeze to death on the way! "Gosh- it's so fucking cold…" Me circa every chapter before the camou-mono.

"What if there were fluffles in the koi pond…?" Aw. Catch a fluffle with a net. Ruffle it up, dude.

Genkan gives me a look. "The koi would die. Would you want that?"

"What, no." Oh no.

"Then do not consider fluffles in the koi pond."

Strollin' on through the party grounds, we come up past the side of some stalls set up here on the uppermost level of the shrine grounds...

"Oo- oh, we're here!" Sammy is surprised! "I- I thought… we'd like, get lost…"

Maria snorts! "Ye of little faith. C'mon, Sammy. The lake to here isn't far at all."

"I've never been outta the village, okay!? All a' this shit's news to me!"

We mosey on through the shrine grounds, to the porch here…

There's a nice warm fire set up in the very center of the shrine path here.

Reimu looks spent. She sits leaned up against her donation box, with an easy look.

"So then I didn't let 'em touch the ground for another like two minutes! It was the craziest shit!" Marisa's standing, hammin' it up to Youmu and Reisen…!

...Youmu seems unimpressed. "If you ask me, it would have been more graceful to end the fight when you already had the advantage."

Reisen nods. "Mmn. Toying with your food isn't good."

Marisa hung her arms, her gesturing deflated. "Oh, come on. You guys gotta be a little into the juggle game. 'Specially you, Reisen."

"You don't juggle people in a real fight, Marisa."

Marisa gives Reisen a really violent grin! "Says you! I oughta juggle the everlovin' crap outta you right now, ze!"

"Marisa." Reimu is weary… "How do you still have so, much, energy?"

Marisa beams at her too! "How're you so tired!? Get that pale ass up, ze."

"No…" Reimu doesn't want to! "We spent the last hour or two fighting. I'm done…"

"...Mmh." Marisa huffed. "Man. I-"

Youmu stood up! "Marisa. If you're truly confident your strength remains, then come push me over."

...For a moment or two, they both just stare at each other.

"Yehaha~h!" And then Marisa leaps at her in one floaty motion! "Kiss my ass, ze! Woo~!"

Youmu reeled her left arm back- and unleashed it with a wide, flailing punch!

WHAP! She punched Marisa in her ass mid-air, her fluffy skirt sent flappin' in the wind off the violent motion.

Juggled by the impact, Marisa spun through the air, before landing on her back.

Shoof- fwoof. She landed in the fire!

Youmu jumped, eyes snapping super wide! "Oh- shit! Marisa!"

"Yeheahahaoow!" Marisa fuckin' bounces outta the fire holy shit! "Ow- ow- ow- ow! Fuck fuck fuck-"

FWII~SH! When she ends up near us, patting at her skirt, Genkan puts her out with some gentle ice.

...Chuckling, out of air, Marisa points at us! "Oo- oh… he- hey. S'you guys…!"

"Ho- holy crap…" Sammy speaks behind us in hushed awe! "You people actually know Marisa Kirisame…!?"

"Oh, man…" Marisa looked down at her heavy black dress, which was clearly designed to keep her ass warm. "Damn it. This might've been a stunt dress, but Alice's gonna be impressed I burnt the shit outta it. S'only been a day."

...She looks at Maria! "Ooh! Fancy seein' you outta the village. S'up, Maria?"

"Hey…" Maria greets her casually.

...Oo~h. I just realized something I missed while scrambling up the hill!

In the center of the walkway before the shrine, a big ol' ball was set up on a big stand.

"Oh, hey. The ball." Big ball.

I see Sanae and Sakuya over there, underneath the pillar holding the ball. Remilia an' Flandre have already joined up with 'em...

"Ah, yeah, we're doin' the ball thing this year. Weird tradition." I- I like how Marisa has mixed feelings about the ball. "What is it…? Five minutes 'till it drops?"

"Five minutes?" Genkan questions… "That's pretty soon."

"Yeah…" Marisa nods, an' I can see her breath fwoof out from the big scarf she's got on. It's so big it like, goes up to her chin! Covers the whole neck!

So! "What happens when it drops? Is it a nuke…!?"

Marisa gives me a flat look! "Totally. No survivors."

...Sammy interjects! "Wait- what!? Aa-... are you serious!?"

Realizing just now that she exists, Marisa gives her a flat look! ...Why's Sammy hiding behind Genkan's ass?

"Alright, now I'm worried." Whah. "Brad, why've you got another girl tailin' ya? An' why's she retarded?"

"Forgive her, she is very awed by your existence." I think Sammy's both freezing her brains out and very intimidated, which is a bad combination! "Meet your biggest fan, apparently!"

"Ooh!? What? A fan!?" Marisa instantly forgets how big Sammy fucked up a couple seconds ago! "Hey, what's your name, girl?"

"Uuh. Sa- Sammy…" Sammy visibly shrinks before Marisa… which is really saying something!

"Aw! S'a cute name." Marisa gives her a big smile, and a thumbs-up! "...Now why're you in this dude's party!?"

"Oh!" Sammy smiles back! "'Cause bro's a pimp!"

Marisa looks at me! "A~nd I'm gonna kill you!" Uh oh!

Genkan helps out! "We did not ask for her to be with us this evening, yet here she is."

Maria- wit' no S- also clarifies. "She's my friend from school. She works at the Golden Grin now. She just kinda tailed us 'cause she thought Brad was a better pick than some of the platinum hosts at the club, for money and protection."

After being recanted the tale, Marisa starts grinning! "...I- I'm sorry, Brad? She picked fuckin'... Brad? Y'wanted-... what was basically criminal muscle- and you picked Brad?"

"He- hey. Brad's a badass who'll fuck-... someone's world up." Sammy didn't dare challenge Marisa even indirectly or by proxy! "Pro- probably not yours!"

Marisa gives me a look! "Now I'm even more suspicious! The heck'd you do to this girl!?"

Maria clarifies, again! "Sammy's scale of things is just-... she has really low standards."

Genkan has her own opinion. "I think Brad has gotten marginally better at holding his own. If these past few days have been any indication…"

Marisa perks up! "Oh, right!"

She grabs me by the collar.

BAM. Instantly, I'm up against a beam of the shrine's front porch, Marisa having pushed me like five meters before I even realized.

"My house. Yesterday. Talk."

Oh, right! "Ya know those things I was scared of?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah! Chased me down. Don't worry. I got one up on the one that tipped yer house."

...Marisa furrows her brows. "Got one up? Like…"

"We had a cocktastrophe."

Marisa had a stare somewhere between baffled, amused, and angry. "Is-... is that a funny way a' tryina' hit on me?"

I shake my head "I- I mean, I fought 'er! We won! She was out for my head! Came by your place, thought you'd bail me out, but she just fuckin' kaboomed the place and I had ta run off. Was not ready to deal with her just at that moment."

...Ho~h. After moment 'a Marisa holding me against the shrine, she lets go.

"What the hell's a co- cocktastrophe have to do with it…!?"

I don't say anything, but I just kinda grin!

"Tha- that aside… c'mon, don't just leave it there." She smirks, puttin' her hands in her pockets. "Tell me the whole thing, ze."

...Ahah. "How about after the ball drops?"

Marisa snorts! "Why not now? Just happened yesterday, right?"

...Genkan walks up to us, deciding not to hover. Marisa looks over at her.

"It was very stressful. Brad was probably nearly killed on multiple occasions. The rampaging one was my friend. If you'd notice a frosty anomaly at the lake, it was her."

Then, Genkan swooces up to me. "Let us spend this sentimental moment in peace, for just a little while."

...At that, Marisa kinda just retreats. "Ah. Al- alright. Uh, take yer time…"

Hoh. We have obtained the peace.

I never got to figure out what the ball did! Aah, well. I guess we'll find out…

"What! You chased her off!" Sammy objects to Marisa deciding to give us space!

Genkan gives her a gentle look. "Go play in traffic."

...Sammy beams at that! "Shit. Well, alright, I guess I will."

I- I don't think Genkan realizes the actual implication of playing in traffic! Maybe she doesn't need to…!

Fluffle family, yeah man.

...Like this, me, Genkan, Maria and Ha-chan stand idly along the shrine plaza's side, as we behold the ball.

"Behold…!" Aw, yeah man! "The amazing floating o~rb!"

Genkan pokes at me! "No."

"The amazing floating orb, huh…" Maria quietly laments the idea!

Ha-chan smiles, peaceful near us. Y'know- that ice crown's come in more handy for her than it has me!

Maria talks to her first! "What's on your mind, Hana?"

She smiles wider! "Nothing!" That's- blessed, yet simultaneously cursed.

Genkan smiles a little sadly too. "...I see. Someday, Hana, we will set things right."

...Actually, is the sun fairy I captured important, at all? ...Eeh. Pro'lly not. Gensokyo has five to ten thousand humans in the village… so, uuh, I doubt any given element of fairy will have less than that overall!

But, I can ask someone about fairy trivia at a later date.

Sanae starts yelling from the bottom of the tower! "Sixty! Fif- fifty nine! Fort- I mean-... fi- fifty seven! Fifty six!"

No one else begins counting that early. Sakuya does not help her out, nor does Flandre.

Wait, shit! "Aren't we supposed to do Tanabata tree things!?"

"Krrk." Genkan makes a demented noise, suppressing an intense chuckle under her breath.

Maria chuckles too! "Br- Brad, that-... Tanabata is in July."

...Wha- yer shittin' me! "What!"

"It's in July, Brad." Genkan informs me! "Have-... have you never experienced Tanabata before?"

"No…!" We have something different and marginally less festive! "We got the fourth of July instead, where we shoot fireworks at the sky to celebrate the fact the country was made!"

"...Sounds dumb." I- I like how Genkan just suddenly has a very candid opinion on the fourth of July. "Tanabata is much sweeter than some national fantasy."

Hoh. "...Yeah, pro'lly. I say, forgetting what Tanabata is."

"I- I suppose my assumption was correct." Genkan's guess was validated!

"Thirty!" Ooh- more people started counting! "Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight!"

We find a spot on the shrine's porch to sit, over here on our own. Under the festive colorful lanterns and stuff, able to gaze at the stars past the ball.

Speaking of the ball, it slowly lowers towards the base of the tower!

Genkan wraps an arm around me. "...Don't be shy. You feel as if you didn't expect this."

"Yeah, my brain stopped about after I parked the boat." Somehow, I didn't!

She squeezes me closer. Ho~h…

Rousing myself from tiredness, I wrap an arm around her. She's nice.

My mind ticks, comfort filling me. I'd like to zone out, even in this casual embrace, but we're in the middle of a festivity so I'm roused from my own desire to feel desire pretty shortly.

"Twenty one! Twenty! Nineteen!"

Yeah man, nineteen-eighteen! Happy old year!

Old America must've been a sad place, 'cause it wouldn't've had a ball drop. The unceremonious passing of the new year… is a slightly sobering thought.

For some reason, before the new year, I had this mental idea of me just… sitting vigil atop Genkan's cave, and her not knowing why I chose to do that on the new year of all times. Maybe that would've been how it happened if it wasn't celebrated!

"Ten!" Ooh!

Ha-chan leaps onto Maria's lap! "Wo- woah!" Maria gets squished a little! "Hana- you're heavy…!"

"Nine!"

Genkan presses her head up against mine.

"Eight!"

Y'know, formalities are kinda hokey, but this is nice…

"Seven!"

Like, formal events always feel like they have something missing. Somehow, I still feel that.

"Six!"

Maybe I expect them to be climactic! …'Cause they really aren't!

"Five!"

Or maybe I expect people to try and observe that festive energy; to recreate it without the festive excuse. Only for them to return to work, brain-off, never to change course or talk or grow.

"Four!"

Even this close to the wire, it's still mostly people just around the ball making noise! Yet, somehow, they got Sakuya to be hype about this. ...Maybe it makes more sense than I think.

"Three!"

"Brad…" Genkan says my name.

"Two!"

Aaw, the ball's almost there!

"One!"

The ball drops.

"Happy- aaaaa~!" Everyone exclaimed something random when the new year came to pass!

KABOOM. Uh oh. The ball split open, and shot a mortar into the sky!

...KRAKAK- KOOM! Ooh! Fireworks of some kind blast in the air, lighting up the shrine landscape with sparkling colors and wonderful, rainbow tints.

In the middle of the noise, Genkan twists my head by grabbing my chin.

She steals a kiss from me, wrapping an arm around my head and keeping it there.

Oh. Right. I didn't expect the New Years couple kiss. Like, at all. I'm taken entirely off-guard.

I kiss her back, wrapping an arm around her back.

We basically hug onto one another, and just- make out.

"Aah…" Parting from my lips, she gives me a smile. "You're more aloof than I am right now."

"I got gas." I admit.

My stomach growls.

Genkan snorts. "I- I don't think that's gas. I think you're dying." Uu- uh oh.

Maria's smug voice is heard behind me. "It's a good thing we're at a party. This is the perfect time to fill him up."

"Well…" Genkan leans in, and pecks my cheek. "Happy New Year, Brad. How do you feel?"

How do I feel? Aside from hungry, uh…

"Pretty good!" I guess!

"Only that, huh?" Genkan nods…

"My energy overflowed." See- parties are already so hype that I just become Genkan-esque and zone out.

...Genkan hugs me closer. "Let's cuddle." That's- a proposition when it comes from her…! "Get on my lap."

Wha- on your lap? Yo- woah!

She positions me onto her lap. Even though she's shorter than me, she's a little fuller by virtue of not being a freakin' stick person.

As such, my bony ass fits into her lap nicely.

"You're so thin." Genkan's hands search my chest, and my legs. Her right hand brushes over my crotch briefly, not doing anything more than just grazing over it, but holy fuck it sets me on fire.

"You've really gotta fatten him up…" Maria suggests!

Aw, yeah. "To eat…!?" I suggest!

"Yes, to eat." Genkan decides… "Omh." Wh- ooo~ she bit onto my ear gently- aa-

Maria just stares as Genkan legitimately molests me. I can't make out the expression on her face. It's just not an emotion I see people have. It's nothing less than 'interested', at the very least.

Ha-chan comes at us! "Yeah! Eat him up!" Oh god.

She comes up to me and- ouf! She leapt onto my lap!

In my face, Ha-chan leans around my head, and- "Rah!" Wait-

Don't actually bite me ouch! "Ow! Hana- aa~!"

Genkan becomes alert! "Hana- don't actually bite him!"

"Hehehe~!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Before we get some grub and idle at the dining areas set up around the Hakurei hillside… I have convinced my party to do something I thought of like, mid-last chapter.

Rubbing my ear where the magic healed it, I chuckle! "Alright, guys…!"

Ha-chan, Maria, Genkan, Sammy and for some reason Marisa are all packed into a single bathroom stall, at this multiple-stall house set up at the base of the Hakurei hillside.

"Okay." Marisa gives me a big thumbs-up! "On three."

"Ye." Alright… "One. Two. Three."

I begin singing the Halo theme. "Aaaa~, aaa- aa- uuaaa- aaauuh. Aaa, aaa, uuu~h! Uuh aaa aaa ooouu…!" I like how retarded that looks written down!

Everyone sings along! ...No, I'm not writing that down again. Genkan's voice is nice…

Marisa's singing voice is rarely heard I'm sure! ...So is Sammy's! So is Maria's! And Ha-chan's! And-

You know what, this is a very cursed moment in general.

"Aaaa~, aaa~, aaaahh… aaaoo, aaaoo~!" Our energy radiates from the bathrooms!

clack. The wooden toilet seat jostles, while Marisa sits on it. Don't ask why they got seats; it's probably a weird Moriya-Tengu-Assfuck hybrid design.

"Oh, hey!" Marisa stands up! "We did it!" Did what…!?

Clack. The toilet seat opens. Oh… oh, dude!

A black-haired girl wit' bobby hair pops out!

She looks very done with life! And, also dead. Very dead too!

"I'd pull you all to hell, but there's too many of you to grab."

Sammy screams! "Aaaa~! Youkai!"

BAM! Oh- oh no! She slammed the toilet shut, inadvertently beating the poor girl back inside!

"Holy shit! Fuck!" Sammy's heart's racing! "Damn! We gotta get outta here!"

"Ooo~, ooo ooo." Genkan sings the Halo theme into Sammy's face, and frost settles across Sammy's freckles. "Ooo uuu, ooo uuu." Sammy just gives her a frustrated, frazzled look back!

Marisa waved at her! "Haha- nah, dude, she's cool!" She props the lid open with her boot, after some precarious aerobics…!

...The black-haired youkai girl slowly poked her head outta the toilet!

"I am anything- but- cool!" She's speaking in stereo now! "You crushed my- head!"

"Aaa~..." Sammy holds her hands up! "I- I'm sorry, okay!? Don't drag me down ta hell- I haven't even had hell on Earth yet! Please, satan!"

"...Satan?" The spirit girl grinned. "My name is Hanako."

"Oo-..." It all clicks fer Sammy. "Oh. Hanako… of the toilet?"

"Mmn." Hanako nods.

I have to ask. "Do you like the smell of shit."

Hanako quirks both brows up. "Well, do you, man who has come to hold a choir meeting at the bathroom?"

...Damn.

"I thought not." Hanako fucked me, dude. "It was not my choice, but fate simply is."

What's she look like exactly!? Well…

Hanako's a loli-sized girl with black, bowl-cut hair. She's got bags under her eyes, but she's pale as a ghost; probably 'cause she is one.

Y'know… "For some reason, I expected someone, uuh… taller."

Marisa grinned! "That's what I said the first time!"

Hanako smiles. "And I showed her, I can be plenty tall." Oh. "I don't think you'd appreciate me taking up more room than I already am." She says, still inside the toilet.

...Maria corrales a fluffle that's hiding along the corner of the stall, and lifts it.

Becoming aggressive, she dumps the fluffle into the toilet.

Hanako looks down. "Those are the exact last things I need more of."

Maria smirks. "So that means you do need more of them, even if they're the last thing you need more of."

...Hanako slowly starts to glare!

Yeehaw! "Let's keep singing the Halo theme song!"

Marisa beams! "Alright! On three, we start again!"

Hanako is freakin' bamboozled! "What- are you even doing?"

Marisa counts down! "Three! Two! One!"

"Aaaa~... oou ooh, aaa ooouu, ooo. Ooo- oooh, oooaaah! Oou, oou!"

...Hanako looks intimidated as we all very smugly sing at her! We're asserting our dominance over this stall! Begone, hell spirit!

I wonder what the people outside the stalls think!

"You-" Hanako bristles! "If you persuade people to associate me with this theme song you're singing- I swear to the bottom layer of hell I will ruin you-"

"Oou, ooo, ooo~!" Genkan's singing voice is as much of a disruptive meme as it is beautiful! "Ooo ouu, oouuu!" It's so soft, y'can't help but feel disarmed when she sings at you! But she's also really blunt about it!

The bathroom stall door opens.

Reimu's there.

The fluffle Maria found escapes the bathroom, brushing past Reimu's ankles.

...Lazily, she turns back to the party grounds! "It's not a youkai~. It's just some idiots."

Clack. She shuts the door on us!

...Marisa brushes past me, and tries to push it open.

But it doesn't budge! "What! Reimu locked us in here! Man- it's like she wants us to blow our way out!"

Aw, yeah man! "The great shit-tastrophe."

Genkan sighs. "I feel my brain dying."

"You mean it's becoming smooth." I inform her of the new vernacular.

...Genkan looks intimidated! "Can that really happen?"

"Pretty sure it can't!" I sure hope not! That'd be pretty lethal!

Sammy has a big ol' grin! "Y'know Maria, I think I see why y'hang with 'em. These dudes might be alright…"

Maria snorts, expression sarcastic. "I'm glad I've earned your approval…"

Yeah- man! It's New Years!

2016!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

NEW ITEMS (BRAD):

Nikkou and Nari - Dual plant hangers which act far better as gauntlets than as whacking weapons. Sun and electric elemental weapons, created by two greater fairies which laid down their loyalty to Brad. This was the very unfortunate outcome of some high-stakes pirate-pretend play-gambling foreplay.

STATS:

50% Sun resistant

50% Thunder resistant

100% Stun resistant

100% Blind resistant

SKILLS:

Grace and Glory - Allows Brad to parry attacks. Nikkou will parry physical blows, and Nari will parry small magical projectiles. However, only parries performed when Brad is provoked will fill the Gracious and Glorious gauges.

Gracious and Glorious - Storing adequate energy from narrative tension with either parry type will unlock the potential of the weapons, allowing Brad to execute a series of intuitive techniques. Specifically, this can only be achieved if Nikkou or Nari empathize with Brad's intent and fear.

=Nikkou=

Zodiac - Brad fires a sunny ball of light from Nikkou. Does more damage to youkai and undead. May blind foes.

Escort of Zeal - If Brad punches the ground with fully charged Nikkou, a shockwave of sunlight is created.

Nature's Champion - With activated Nikkou, if Brad punches an enemy dead-on as they attack, he will win the exchange.

=Nari=

Thunder Surge - Brad snaps to a foe and cuts Nari through them with startling speed.

Escort of Love - Charged Nari grants low-gravity and a pair of wings which help with gliding. No free flight though!

Nature's Muse - With activated Nari, Brad can negate the effects of magic damage for a few seconds.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I REALLY STRUGGED TRYING TO FIT EVERYTHING I WANTED TO FIT IN THIS CHAPTER… into THIS CHAPTER

this could easily be like, THREE chapters… or, for someone who makes less plus-sized chapters, like FIVE OR SIX.

it's CHONKY. a real CHONKER.

but, yeah wahoo

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016, from 2020. i found an old classmate's freakin'... book report from 2016, which said 2016 was a cursed year

man i dunno that dude kinda blew his load a little early…!

i kinda like how many freakin' places this chapter went; this chapter did a little bit a' everything! maybe that's just 'cause it's massive

part a' this batch was encumbered by the shimokoa fight, which i hope is a good battle of parallels and not too long so as to dry people out before its impact, but i also think it's really narratively impactful

after that, i think most of the batch'll flow very well, and i think what i did with the pace and with the combination of elements is pretty nice - w -

man progressing certain events takes so much content to actually-... progress through!

AS ALWAYS, would like reviews, good bad, happy sad, big-... preferably big, but they could also be small!

And, y'know, happy new year t'my pals out there in 2020! 'Specially all of you here on Christmas day, through the new years rush!

=DAILY REMINDER= we have a Discord- check the link on my profile!

as always, see you all next time!