(in which we celebrate the great fluffle pumpkin)
January first! 2016!
"Man…" What a crazy-ass party!
Stopping before the rich wooden table, here in Genkan's ice cave, I start running laps around it. I don't sprint, I just jog.
Seated at the central wood table we got, Genkan stares at the rolled up bags of chips we left on it.
Coming up to Genkan, I spin three-sixty degrees an' start walking in place, as if sprinting towards her.
Brows raised, she looks at me. Her porcelain face is betrayed by a little mysticism.
I walk around her. She twists to look at where I am. Then, I start trying to run into the table, but I act as if an invisible force is impeding me!
"Could you not do that?" Genkan requested gently, "You're making me uneasy."
I did it. I made Genkan uneasy, dude. "I'm gonna make you uneasy." You're adorable Genkan c'mere.
Genkan has a worried look when I hug her, giving the air a look as if I'm molestigating her.
Maria chuckled! "What's with that face?"
Genkan began to smile, unable to resist it any longer. "It's because Brad is being strange."
"He's always strange," Maria contested.
I let go of Genkan, and kinda just stretch. "Haah…" Man, between the battles and the party, that was all some shit.
So after the party, we came back on over here and just kinda chilled for a few hours. Maria eventually went back home, and then we slept. Except now we're up again, and it's really early in the morning, and Maria had ended up walking back anyway! It was really schizophrenic!
Genkan was still lookin' up at me. I centered my gaze on hers, and she spoke. "What do you plan to do now?"
"Eat fluffles." I dunno.
She gave me a very level look, and it was very cute. "...For my curiosity's sake, how did you divine that Shimokoa would still be so spiteful? Or did you have some other reason for getting so prepared for combat?"
I shrugged. "Just curious 'bout fighting. So much a' Gensokyo revolves around this unspoken struggle of will and force. I just wanna know more about it, that's all. An' I think Shimokoa proved my case. Whether I like it or not, people like her will always roll around."
"...I see." Genkan stared down at the table, looking innocent. "I'd tell you off about pursuing combat so carelessly… but, that would be unbecoming of me. After all, it's the same with me and dancing. Just… avoid letting yourself be seriously hurt, okay?"
I gave 'er a smile. "Ooh, I'm always tryin'."
Her smile became a little more tired. "Try harder. I don't think you try hard enough."
"I really do be tryin' though!"
Maria approached us, after sortin' out whatever she was doin' at the kitchen counters across the room. "Hey, Brad, Genkan. How do you guys plan to spend New Years day?" She was back in her casual freeze clothes, which were suddenly a lot more fashionable than I remembered them being. Maybe I've slipped into the Berenstein dimension...
Gonna be honest, I haven't thought this far ahead! "I dunno. I kinda wanna… hmm." What do I wanna do?
Genkan gave a quiet suggestion. "We could spend today together at home. Perhaps the next few days. Or… hmm." She paused after saying that, rethinking her idea. "This place still needs much work for a human to call home."
I mean, we've got a laptop, I could totally get consumed by it. Sorta. Maybe. Kinda.
Hmm. Y'know, it's actually difficult. My whole point for engaging in stuff on the computer was 'cause there wasn't shit worth crap on the outside. Now I'm here on the inside… it's a little different!
"Place does kinda need work," I admitted. "I'd say I'd just like, veg out on the computer, but… a big reason for me engaging with it and its library on the outside was 'cause the world was so bland. Gensokyo's totally different. If uh, my constant bitchin' about the outside was ever any indication."
Genkan held her head higher, just a little. "That is true, isn't it? What are you implying, then?"
"I think we oughta do some exploring!" That's what I'm implyin'!
Genkan tempered her expression slightly. "That's what we always do. I'm a little sick of all the constant running around. It's a holiday, Brad, and besides, I'd like to spend time with you. We ought to tackle this house thing together too. We can't share the process if you're not here with me."
"Well… I guess we can spend a few days chillin' out," I agreed. "And we're pro'lly gonna have to make a lotta trips as it is! Y'know, just to get the shit together for the house!"
Genkan realized this too! "That's… true. It's all the same in the end, isn't it?"
"While we're at it, can we like…" Maria interjected! "Can we do something about my house too? The most expensive thing in it is the stove and cupboards… and that's saying something."
At first I thought it was a weird desire comin' from her, but then I remembered that villagers live in glorified tents made of wood basically, and y'know, I can't say I blame her for wanting to jump on an upgrade!
"I know very little about homemaking," Genkan admitted. "What about you?"
"Uum…" Maria shrugged a little. "Interior design… isn't something I've studied. That, and with the village like it is, it's kind of a lost art."
I can't help but wonder, "Does every yuki-onna live in a cave?"
Genkan was eager to build on that. "Not exactly, no. Somewhere in the farther plains, there should be a more unified place my sisters can call a home. My mother told me to never go there except in emergencies."
Hah? "Why only in emergencies?"
Genkan thought about it. Then, she had a look of mild confusion. "Um… I never asked. My ten year old self did as she was told."
"An' you never thought to go explore?"
Genkan took that as an insult! "I was told incorrect things about the world. I see that now. Until I met you, there was no way to spend that time better."
Man, I really wonder what Genkan was like when she was younger. If she's like… pseudo-thirty now, but acts as ephemerally young as she does, then…
I oughta ask! "How'd you act when you were my age, Genkan?"
Genkan is staggered by the question! "Um. I was… hmm. You are eighteen, so…" After a moment, she realized. "I was very quiet. Have you noticed how quiet some of my sisters are? The kind that would simply float up to you and shoot ice at you? I was very similar. I would spend days simply staring at the sky, or the snow, and not saying a word. Even weeks would blur together like that. I'm sure I sometimes slept for… I don't know how long."
Maria took note a' that. "I've noticed you synced your sleep pattern with Brad's. Is that normal?"
"I have no good idea." Genkan smiled back! "Before I'd gotten used to sleeping with Brad, I had actually just recently woken up. I'd gone to sleep all of that previous summer, so… what month was that we met, Brad?"
Daah. "Either October or November!"
"Aah. Seems I had slept in a little. Fall's colors are nice, but… it has always simply felt messy to me."
I wonder how extremely antisocial some of Genkan's sisters would inherently be, even if we convinced them not to aggro on me for being a humanoid boy being.
"Well, why don't we get some home decor ideas from that yuki-onna place y'mentioned?" I've actually got a good feeling about this one! "At the very least we're not gonna get murdered by the entropy that's slowly consuming the human village…!"
Genkan approved! "You're right. That could be fun. Do you want to come along, Maria?"
"Why not?" Maria took in a breath, and drew her staff from her red, boxy sci-fi backpack thing! "It's been a moment since we've just kinda done something. If they're celebrating the new year, they might be more welcoming… or something."
Ho ho ho~. Alright, son. We're gonna go on the quest for some semblance of interior design principles! I was gonna say "modern" interior design principles, but I'm sure a place operated by the snow people is anything but modern.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
How freakin' early did we get up? It's still dark out!
As we traveled the lightly forested Gensokyo countryside, kissed with snow, Genkan's eyes glowed faintly in the blue-dark as she drifted along, posture unchanging.
Maria channeled fire into her big iron lantern staff after a moment, lighting our way. "Why're we just— wallowing in the dark?"
"It's peaceful," Genkan declared. "Besides. I'll be able to let you know if anything's approaching."
When we fall quiet again, Maria starts experimenting with the elements in her iron lantern, making fruity colors that're cast against the snow all around us.
This "place where snow women lived" as Genkan describes it is beyond the cave she lives in, somewhere outside the forest a' magic, just… out here in this indescribably barren expanse. You can pro'lly see where we are from the SDM clocktower, but it's quite a scenic place to be.
"Snow woman community," I realized. Genkan gave me a look, before continuing to lead. An' then I decide to make some talk! "Yo, Maria. Y'don't wanna spend new years at home?"
Maria shrugged. "Mom'll be fine. I think she also had something she wanted to do, so if I just stayed home with her, it'd be like… really awkward." Oh? Huh. Right, Sally's pretty young-looking, so outside a' the fact she's fucking dead, she probably has a life outside a' just bein' Maria's mother. "Besides, she'd want me out having fun… and let's be real, who else am I going to hang out with?"
Genkan agreed, despite not really knowing. "Good point."
Although, considering everything…! "Yeah dude, new years with Sammy. Aw dude, Christmas wit' the Kranks!"
"Case in point," Maria grinned those ideas off!
Genkan stared up at the sky, as we trailed along in the dark. "I underestimated how pretty this would be. We should have sat on the hill housing our cave. It's a nice hill, even if it's quite rocky."
Aw yeah, Genkan hill. "Aw, Genkan— we gotta play Crazy King dude!"
Genkan's expression faulted slightly on purpose. "Crazy King."
"Crazy King, dude!"
"Does that sound like something I would play?"
My expression falls dead flat. I look back at Maria, an' then I hatch a shit-eating grin again when I turn back to Genkan. "It does now!"
crunch, crunch, crunch. Ooh! Someone ran through the snow past us!
"Eee!" Oh! It's Ha-chan! "It's sohoho cold! Ow, ouch, ow! Aaa— hahahaauuh!"
Genkan looked worried as Ha-chan sprinted off ahead of us! "Oh no."
"Hana~!" Maria called out t'her! "Hana! Come back! Oh..." It was too late, man. She'd already taken off!
"We really need to get her some formal method of resisting the cold," Genkan decided. "Even a little. I know it's in my nature to be rather rude to fairies, but this is ridiculous. Hana deserves this the least."
"Y'know, you're right, we should probably get her some kinda something. Y'think your uh, 'sisters' would have ice resistance lying around?"
Genkan continued drifting ahead. "It wouldn't hurt to check."
After a moment a' walking, Maria pokes me in the ass with her staff! "Hey, Brad. Go catch up with her. Maybe slap that crown thing on her again so she stops burning alive from the frostbite."
Yeah…! "Probably not a bad idea!"
Myself, I've got my usual getup on. Camou-mono, gravity boots, and no hat in particular. Flickin' their shared power switch with my mind, ascending into the air, I accelerate forward in the direction Ha-chan bolted off in.
How's Genkan gonna find me? Oh, right, she can probably just smell me. Not in an unhygienic way, I mean, she's a youkai an' I'm a human, so…!
Anyway! Aw, s'time to jet off into the foliage ahead!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Shining Hoarfrost Forecast along in the black— my tri-elemental, tri-linked plant hanger nunchucks made of a buncha composite hangers, panties and cross necklaces. The holy hanger inside it, Youkai Inconveniencer, still works as a flashlight!
"Yo! Hana!" I called out into the plain-ass forest. "Ha-chan! Get yer fairy butt back here!"
Suddenly, there was giggling from the brush nearby. "He— hehehe! Heheh…" Whah? Why? What was so funny?
"What's so funny?" I asked the trees!
A fairy with blue hair and twin pigtails poked her head out of the nearby brush. "You said hairy butt!"
After giving her a woesome look of intense disappointment, I kept shinin' my light around.
We ain't in the magic forest anymore— this is just some forest in the Gensokyo countryside past Genkan's cave. So the random encounters out here probably won't be very intense!
Actually, whenever I've separated from my party in the past few days, things have gone horribly wrong. Was this a good idea? Who would even be hunting me down? Maybe Genkan's right and I am getting overly paranoid…!
"Hey, mister." That random-ass water fairy kept tailing me while I wandered around. "It's early. Why are you up?"
I gave 'er a look. "Why were you in a random freakin' bush?" Really, why are fairies just always in random-ass brush!? S'like they spawn in for specifically random encounters!
"I was looking for blueberries! Like my hair! But I fell asleep."
Aah. An' she fell asleep in a freakin' bush. That's— a very me move actually, I can't really judge! "Y'know, it really do be like that."
"Right!? Ugh! I wish we didn't have to take naps. But naps are really good too…" She became conflicted with herself!
Actually, shit. "Have you seen a tall fairy who was—" I was 'boutta say "in pain" but that might not've meant shit to her. How about this? "A tall fairy who was actin' really silly? Like, dancing around, waving her arms!?"
"Oh! Yeah! She woke me up!" The fairy pointed in a direction! "She went that way!"
Aaw! "Thanks, whats-yer-name!"
"I'm Coolant-chan!" What! "And take this acorn!" She gave me a really big acorn! It was tubby! S'like, fluffle-sized, or cat-sized!
"Yeah!" I accepted the big acorn!
With the big acorn held with both hands, Hoarfrost Forecast benched so I could hold this absolute nut, I adventured into the nearly pitch-black woods. Obviously this acorn's the better implement for this situation.
I will make this playstyle work, son. This acorn has arcane tech unseen by people without imagination!
How the hell'm I gonna find Genkan and Maria after this? I assume Ha-chan might help with that. Maybe…!? Ah, whatever. I'll just shoot an endless stream of explosions into the sky, they'll find their way to me.
"Hey." Ooh! The voice of a dude was audible in the dark.
"Hi, friend." I smiled gently in the black.
"You're Brad, right?" Ooh! My reputation precedes me!
"Ooh! Who're you?"
"Do as I say, and I won't kill ya."
What! "S'that any way to talk to someone on New Years!?" I can't even see him 'cause it's so dark!
"I don't fuckin' care. I saw you at the party. I saw your fight with that snow bitch. I can take you easy."
Considering there is only one male in Touhou, an' he's not even a powerhouse, I somehow doubt that! "I might be more intimidated if I could freakin' see ya!"
"Isn't that the reason you should be fucking afraid?"
I take the opportunity to argue the pedantics of it! "Really? I mean, supposing the logistics, I'd figure this is a sorta Shrodinger's cat sorta situation, isn't it?"
He gasped! "So you can see! You fuckin' wise-ass!"
"Wait, what?" Alright, I've had enough. Holding my fat-ass acorn in one hand, I took just the holy chuck part a' Hoarfrost Forecast outta my bag…
Inadvertently, I shined it at his eyes when I tried to get a look at him. "Gods— ahh! Fuck!" I blinded him by accident!
Ooh! He's a youkai cat dude! He's— pretty damn tall, actually. But on account of being a cat, his eyes are photosensitive!
"I'm sorry man— I thought that was my flashlight! Oh shit!" I began raisin' my voice and stomping around! "Dude, look out!"
His orange tail swished about, and he ran a hand through his messy orange hair. "Quit fuckin' around with me—"
SWISH! Casting Shine with my holy chuck— which's some kinda basic holy magic prefab if y'forgot— I enveloped his face with light!
The light orb expanded to cover his whole upper torso, holy shit!
"Aaaa~!" He yelled! Oh god— that was an actual holy magic attack! His entire body's smouldering, oh shit! "Fuuhaaa~!"
"Oh fuck!" That was more than I thought! "I'm sorry— I thought that actually was my flashlight!"
He drew massive claws, and roared! "Huaaaa! Fuckin' faggot!"
He ran at me, and my heart pumped.
My gravity boots flared to life, and as I ascended, I whipped the entirety of Hoarfrost Forecast from my bag.
WHACRACK! The two chucks, ice and thunder, flared out to meet his cheek dead-on before he could even attack me.
"Ghu— uuh…" Saliva dripped from the young dude's mouth as he stumbled away from me.
Some kinda yellow energy flared from my body. My fairy wings expanded, yellow and bright, and I came up to the dude.
Wrapping the cross necklace link across his neck, I leapt immediately— and I thrust both gravity boots against his spine! And— "Wohaohaoaah!" This got outta control really fast!
WOOSH- WOOSH- WOOSH! Propelled by my boots alone, we both fucking flew through the air multiple times—
"Whua!" The cat dude was thrown unceremoniously from my grasp when my arms were too weak to hold on.
WHAM! Oh, holy shit! Whahaha! Dude, I sent 'em into the forest canopy! Holy shit!
Oof! Landed on my ass! "Hehahaha!" But I couldn't hold back at laughin', it was so damn stupid!
"Yeaah!" Ooh! I heard fairies cheer from the forest around me! "He went flying!"
"The way he spread his arms out…!"
"Is he still up there? Someone go check!"
"I wanna braid his hair!"
...Looking down at my chest as I stood, I noticed this orange-yellow energy recede. My fairy wings receded too.
Power. That… was power.
Beating Shimokoa earlier... gave me the gift of power.
I might not have muscles, but I already have what I've sought for so long.
An advantage in basic-ass combat. Man, I remember the days I was almost pushed down and molested. Now, when a fight's tough, it's a kinda fight that gives Genkan and all her raw youkai strength a run for her money. A fight that gives Maria's studies a run for their money. A fight that takes all of us at our best.
I might not have grown physically, but I don't need that to have power. All I need… is a crushing advantage, the gift of foreknowledge, and an iron defense.
This was the essence of what Meiling thought impossible for me to see without spending the time exercising like she did. Because for her to even see power relative to life's joys, she had to realize something personal to herself.
But beating Shimokoa— a raw embodiment of power itself, a master of power and power alone— that wasn't a feat possible for someone with no power. Whether I liked it or not, I've… become kinda powerful.
"Hoiyah! Yeehaw!" Doing fake-ass fancy twirls with my nunchucks, I folded 'em back up in both hands, and put 'em away plainly. "Yeehaw, son."
"Hey, mister!" A brown-haired fairy came up to me! "Nice acorn…"
"Who you?" I hugged my acorn as if to protect it!
"I'm Fukui." She smiled pristinely.
A yellow-haired sunflower fairy drifted up to us. "That means shit. Her name means shit."
The easy-going fairy had a soft frown. "It means manure. Dung. Not shit."
"That's shit, Shit-chan."
"...Fuck you."
A different, pink-haired fairy came up! "I don't think Fukui means 'shit'..."
After a moment, Fukui registered something! "You lied to me." She gazed judgingly at the sunflower fairy.
"Hehehehe! Poop for brains! Poopie-chan!"
I'm just gonna keep moving on before I receive any more brain damage than I already have! Man, I'm glad I missed the entirety of the Among Us meme's lifespan. Part of me is tempted to say something cursed in reference to it back to these fairies… but nah. See— there's certain kinds of befuddling that're clever and stuff, but this specific scenario ain't it, chief!
Taking a deep breath, I continued. The evening air is nice…
And, I realized: if I want to get to the bottom of what this strange, anxious power-related instinct I got is… perhaps I should seek advice from somebody wiser. Again. Like— maybe ask more pointed questions more often! And something else… on the tip a' my tongue, but I dunno. It'll come to me. Things tend ta come to me.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Where in the name of fuck did Ha-chan go?
It's time to yell! "Ha-chan! Hana~! Where in fuck's name, didja go!? This forest ain't big enough… period! It's just not big enough!"
An' that's when I came out the other side of it. "Oh!" It's really not big enough, apparently!
There's a series of tracks out here… but I take pause at what I saw instead.
It was a pond. A big, deep pond, at the far edge of these plain deciduous woods.
Yuki-onna drifted before it. By that I mean, a lot of yuki-onna drifted before it.
A misty, Kool-Aid Splash or Gatorade-blue liquid filled the pond, luminescent. Its faint glow pulsed in the evening light, reflected on the faces and multicolored kimono of every snow woman.
Then, they all began to hum and sing. It was soft as snow, and gentle as wind.
"Oh…" Woah. "Holy shit." I spoke under my breath to myself 'cause I was really that impressed.
With the snow women's progressing notes, the blue pond before them began to pulse with more power, bubbles of mist rolling out of random points amidst it.
I wasn't the only spectator. Fairies could be seen chillin' out, pun unintended huhuhu, along the edges, all lulled into a docile state. There's even ice dudes! And they're not singin, it seems. Not a single dude was allowed to sing in the choir. Not unless some of the feminine-lookin' people up there aren't actually as female as they seem!
That's when I saw Ha-chan! She's here! Oh…
Kneeling down next to her, I found her passed out face-down in the snow. Oh no, man.
Takin' out my ice crown, I put it on her head.
...Immediately, she snapped her face from the snow and yelled. "Woaaa—"
CRUNCH. A mysterious force face-planted her against the floor! "Mmh…"
One of the spectating, really tall yuki-onna came up to us, glaring. She didn't say anything, she just gave us a choice look!
"Aw…" She was so cute! "You're adorable!"
Uh oh. My compliment fell on deaf ears. She continued to gimme one of Genkan's miffed looks, except unironically!
KAPOW! An' that's when my ears were freakin' shattered. No, not by her or anything— I mean I heard a fucking gun go off! A like, big gun!
The snow women were uninfluenced, continuing their peaceful humming in spite of the noise.
"Holy shit." Duckin' down, I reached down to scoop up Ha-chan! "Yo, Ha-chan, we gotta like, go—"
"Hey! Hic— uh, you!" Someone drunk came up to us! This is the worst time! Wait, huh!?
Reisen was here, and she was smashed. "Uugh— Br— Brad, guy… you gotta go!"
"Ye— yeah!?" I'm so confused! "What're you—"
KAPOW! With the crack of thunder, I saw a line of mist in the air, cutting through the peaceful fog made by the humming snow women. A sniper round meant for Reisen sailed between both of our heads.
KAPOW KAPOW KAPOW! Reisen slam-fired unloaded her own big-ass sniper rifle in the direction of the shot, more rounds tracing through the air.
With every shot fired I flinched, and I saw the mist trails go through and under these bleacher-like platforms the yuki-onna were using to stand before their pond.
...I looked back at the glaring yuki-onna, who was seemingly oblivious to whatever was going on! "Are— are you seeing this shit?" I gestured to Reisen! "D'you see this!?"
"No— hic! Uuhn…" Reisen stumbled in the snow. "They can't see me! I used mh— my eyes!"
"Oooo." The yuki-onna gently sang. "Oooo…"
KAPOW KAPOW KAPOW! Oh my god, what the fuck is going on…!
"Ugh!" Reisen barked out in pain— energy flaring from her shield, as she dived back behind a tree near me. Holy shit— she got shot in the bicep, but so much blood came out! "Fuuhk! Aah…"
"Aa— are you alright!?" I yelled back at her!
She didn't bother replying to me. After a few moments of hiding, I saw the glow of her suit's energy shield regenerating.
That's when a bunny dude landed before me. Winter mist spread from his mouth, and he placed a knife between his own teeth, 'fore drawing two pistols of some kind. He had no shirt on, just some pair a' trousers.
When he was ready, he charged the tree Reisen was behind—
woosh. As a drunken blur, Reisen leapt twirling out from behind the tree.
BAM BAM BAM! The man unloaded both ballistic pistols, but Reisen curled around him mid-air, and—
KAPOW! She fired the sniper rifle without grace into his spine.
KAPOW KAPOW! With two more bullets, she'd sent him hurtling across the ground as a limp doll.
"Bhh—" Doubling back, she threw up her booze into the snow beside herself. "Huaah!"
Fwiiish. Playfully, all the snow women began to spin around, spreading frost and humming louder. Mist began to envelop the entire scene…!
"Oh my god…" I just uh, laid down in the snow with Ha-chan, and kept my head down…
When the mist was thickest, I poked my head around just to look around, and—
KAPOW KAPOW KAPOW! KAPOW! A volley of sniper shots destroyed my eardrums. "Ghk— aagh!" A bunny guy fell onto one a' his thighs not too far from me.
"You fucking demon!" Someone roared at Reisen from somewhere.
"Yoshime! No!"
KAPOW! KAPOW! You know, despite all that shit I thought in my head 'bout bein' powerful— this particular situation's makin' me feel rather helpless again…!
...With that, Reisen stumbled nearby. "All… clear. For now. Um—… bu— bunny chief to master Yagokoro, I hate you so much…"
"Would—" I rubbed one a' my ear drums with one of my nails, as if hoping I could do something about this slight ringing! "Would ya mind tellin' me what's going on!?"
Reisen gave me an airy look. "Don't worry 'bout it. Um… emergency ops. No big deal. Tough luck, bein' around here. Happy, um, new year…"
With that, she fell onto her face, onto her sniper rifle, before getting up and sprinting off. Despite being sloshed, her run still had a grace and intensity to it once she forced her muscles to remember their practiced motions.
...Crawlin' outta the fresh snow, I stared on at the corpse of three rabbit people around me. What the fuck even happend?
All of a sudden, Genkan came up to me, really quickly! It was so fast— I fuckin' leapt outta my skin! "Woah!"
Without saying anything, she grabbed onto me! Urgently, with some panic, she yanked me away!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
"Well…" I worked up a nice stretch!
We were in some rustic-ass wooden structure, in what felt like a small village. And unlike the human village, it had class! Those funny paper walls, the shingled roofs with the big slants and stuff… this little village has it all!
Ha-chan laid in a heap in a futon nearby, shivering her butt off. Maria sat near her, lookin' drowsy for some reason…
"I'm sorry, Hana." Genkan apologized to her. "But, in the event of extreme violence, Brad's safety is first."
"Hu— huh?" Ha-chan looked a little confused. "Yeah…"
Since Genkan wasn't gonna question that, I did. "Whaddaya mean, 'huh'?"
Maria gave me a cross look! "She probably just misheard, you know."
Ha-chan clarified though. "I didn't mishear. I was just… I don't know. It's weird. I didn't think Genkan cared about me."
Oh. That… was a really plain concern, but also a cutting one.
Genkan kinda recoiled at that. "...You grate on me, yes. Even so, I don't like to see you suffer. You're a friend to me."
"Being… that other angry fairy lady, it made me think." Ha-chan scratched her own cheek a little. "I didn't like it."
That made Genkan bristle a little fer some reason. "I do hate it when you say things like that. I had to face my discomfort to appreciate Brad. Why can't you see through yours?"
Ha-chan abruptly smiled. "I— I don't know what you're talking about."
"No. I think you do." Genkan narrowed her eyes. "Be honest."
So, Ha-chan was honest. "I was thinking— you didn't really like me, but you put up with me 'cause you like Brad, and for a while I didn't ever think about it— but—" she inhaled! "But now that makes me feel bad. What am I doing wrong?"
Genkan's stare remained harsh, but it eased up as she struggled to find something to say. "Well…"
My own mind laid out the plots and blueprints of this social friction, but to explain it— could I really? In a way that'd not just imply an answer, but convince 'em?
Maria interjected, so I gladly let her take a crack at it instead. "Every time you interject, you're either funny or a little oblivious and annoying. Sometimes explaining things to you takes way more effort than anyone wants to put in.
"But… that's okay, Hana. You mean well, and when it comes down to it, you're not so annoying that you like…" She began to struggle to find words.
I picked up where she left off. "It's not like you're one a' those dudes who cuts in while someone's explaining something to be wrong. You're like… not afraid of not being right, if that makes any sense." 'Cause people who're really afraid of being wrong are the kind who'll constantly fucking butt in trying to explain shit without ever really thinking about it.
"Uum…" Ha-chan looked awkward! "If I'm being honest, not really! And that makes me feel bad!"
"I never thought a fairy like you could feel regret like this," Genkan admitted. "Look. If it's against your nature to… overthink these things, then don't. What I value about you the most, is that you don't go out of your way to be obnoxious. That's probably something Brad sees in you too."
Ha-chan laid her head down on her pillow again, staring up at the ceiling.
There's some quiet afterward. S'not like some cartoon where y'get a cheesy "thanks, guys" and reassurance from the person ya just helped that you did, in fact, help.
...Maria gives up on life a moment later, flopping onto the very edge of Ha-chan's futon.
"Where the hell are we?" I had to ask Genkan!
"Oh…" Genkan gave me a plain look. "I should explain. We're in a village of my sisters. New Years Eve festivities are still going on, despite it technically being the actual day. Unfortunately, my sisters do not own many clocks."
Then, Genkan stared into the air. "Neither do I, come to think of it. They would always freeze when I made the cave temperatures drop in the summer."
"And why the hell was it sniper alley?" I really wanted to know this especially!
"Sniper?" Did Genkan not know what a sniper was? Or— y'know, whatever.
"The really loud gunshots! Those were sniper rifles." I explained to her how it all worked! "Apparently the snow ladies all couldn't hear it. 'Cause lunar rabbits, or just the Reisen one I dunno— they can do this trick with their eyes to hide things from people. I'm thinkin' they hid the sniper warfare from the snow woman community they had to fight around." Snow woman community...
Genkan's expression became slightly tired yet tempered. "Strange. Why could we see it, then?"
"'Cause we walked in on it! It looked like it was just about over."
"And what of the corpses?"
"I dunno how it works!" I admitted! "I just know that it, like, works."
...After holding her tense expression, Genkan discarded her anxious aura, sighing instead. "This really is typical, isn't it?"
Kinda is! "Yeah!"
"Hopefully that was the most terrible thing that will happen to us today. I knew stumbling upon that celebration would be too good to be true."
I shrugged, "I get the feeling whatever shit went down there was a pretty uh… isolated situation."
...When I looked over at Maria again, I realized she was slowly deflating onto Ha-chan's futon! This made me yawn… even though we just recently got up…
Man, that party was fun. They're always a weird kinda mess, but they've got good energy to 'em. Usually I'm all for chaos an' shit, but parties are chaotic in a weird way that makes me feel weird!
That's when a yuki-onna slipped in from the main door of this room. This place we're in is apparently a one-room structure? I don't imagine it's uh, very warm either…
This yuki-onna had a bright yellow kimono! It was pastel-yellow, not like neon yellow. It had little sun-like glyphs on it, sorta reminding me of that sun-resistant kimono I got Genkan for Christmas… 'cept different. This one's pretty cool too.
Above that, she had a fucking demented-lookin' fan-like hat on. Like, reminds me of something aztec, although it was made a' paper instead of stone. It's obviously reminiscent of the sun.
"You four are a curious sight," she began to speak words! "What brings you here on New Years Eve? Strange things have been happening. I, personally, am itching to discover whose fault this is."
Genkan spoke back curiously. "Who are you?"
"Koharu." Their voices were so gentle and similar. S'weird! "And you?"
"Genkan."
"...I see. And them?" She gestured to us!
Genkan turned to me. "This is my lover, Brad. These are our friends. This is Maria, and the fairy who's fighting off a cold is Hana." A real "Sora, Donald and Goofy" moment.
"Lover?" Koharu gave me a strange look! "I suppose stranger things have happened. Your taste confounds me."
Genkan gave her a sassy look back! "I thought you were trying to solve a mystery."
Koharu found a small smile. "As tempting as it is to call your taste mysterious enough, we are facing real problems. Corpses of lunar rabbits have been found around the party grounds, and in the village."
Gee, I wonder why. "I can't believe they died of dysentery."
Koharu blinked twice, before glaring at me! "That's… terrible. Never say something like that again."
What! "D'you actually know what that is!?"
"Were you expecting me not to?"
"Yeah! 'Cause— well…"
"You shut your vile human mouth if you know what's good for you. If any of this was your doing, I'll have you skinned alive on a sheet of ice."
"Sister!" Genkan smiled in shocked awe! "Must you become violent so quickly? Where's your patience?"
"Where is your sanity? Look at this stick-like apparition. This mis-matched, country stickman you call a lover. The more I look at him, the more I honestly become sick."
Genkan began losing her patience back at her. "There is more to these things than appearances. I'm disappointed in you."
"And you mean to tell me he doesn't appall you?"
"No. In fact, I quite like his physique. ...Though, I do wish he were healthier. He doesn't like to eat."
Koharu glared, and it was strangely cute. Genkan glared back with the same cute intensity.
After a still moment, Koharu sighed. "I'm sorry." Ooh. That's new. Usually these sortsa people double down. "It's just… I can't get over it. A human? Really? Really, Genkan?"
"Don't say my name like you know me." Genkan bit back! "Humanity is no more scum than we can be. I have seen that thoroughly."
Koharu was sorta shocked by the declaration! "Scum? We? What? Where did that come from?"
"Did you not just threaten him?"
"Yes, I did. Because humans are like insects. Historically, before Gensokyo was what it was, there were more humans than ants, and their intelligence was to match."
"Humans are people… and so are we. With more people, there are more problems. It's that simple." Genkan's reasoning was powerful! "If you must judge humans, than at least don't judge Brad in the same light. He's… strange. Before I forgave humans, I first forgave him for being human."
"Is he that great...?" Koharu looked at me like I was intimidating for some reason!
Genkan snorted. "Um. To me, maybe. My sense of humor is warped."
"I see." Koharu looked suspicious of us… "It must be. He said something very cruel, you know."
"And so did you. Except he was joking, and you weren't. What's with that?"
"He was joking? How can you tell?"
"I know him? Unlike you? Please, stop being blinded by your hate. We've had to speak with so many like you, snow woman and human alike. You're more alike than you may think."
Koharu's brows drifted up.
There was a long pause! It was kinda nuts how Genkan really just kinda kicked her ass!
When I was thinkin' of counterarguments, there were two things that popped into my mind. First off, I probably wouldn't bother! And second, I don't think she'd listen to me in the first place. No matter how I said it, I could never put it in quite the way Genkan puts it.
'Cause Genkan is a snow woman, talking to a snow woman, who feels entitled about being a snow woman. It's easy to say "well that's illogical!" in like twenty different ways… but like, when's that ever worked? It's too easy! People don't like being wrong that easy, especially when it comes to what they believe in.
But 'cause Genkan was so adamant, so similarly stubborn, so concise and rude about her counterargument, Koharu— "Very well." —conceded the point. Wait— what, that worked!? "I'll… consider your words. But nevermind that. We've become extremely off-topic."
Genkan tilted her head back. "Coward."
"Call it cowardice, but it's true. These mysterious corpses do not leave me at ease. However… I can see that it's unlikely any of you would know the answer." After the briefest pause, Koharu gave us a snooty look. "Unless you'd happen to know about this other foreigner to our village. They'd arrived just tonight as well. They're an outsider to Gensokyo even. It's an awful coincidence that all of you arrived to torment us on this celebrated evening."
"We have no idea what you speak of." Genkan's voice raised just a little, becoming more commanding.
"And how am I to trust you?"
Genkan's glare grew deeper, her eyes narrowing. "We never asked to be trusted."
Koharu looked threatened. So that's when I interjected! "Man, d'you guys got like, anymore blankets? An' how about some ice cream?"
She gazed at me after my mundane request. "...I'm not fetching you ice cream. We do, however, have spare blankets." I seemed to have disarmed her defensive aura.
"If you're done making a show out of this, I'd like to ask you some questions," Genkan asserted herself! "The gentle, tourist sort."
Koharu snorted. "Do you live in a cave? You must know what we do. You're one of us."
Genkan smiled a little at that! "I don't know. And, I do live in a cave. I take it that's not common in these parts?"
Koharu found a condescending smile, the kind Genkan would give me. It's so weird seein' two yuki-onna give one another the cold treatment. "You're one of those kinds, then. I must say, for a cave-dweller, you're awfully well-spoken."
"Am I not supposed to be?"
"Well, it's not that. It's just terribly uncommon. Cave dwellers are often shy. Often very strange."
"Considering tonight, I'd say that may be for good reason."
Koharu's face flared. "That's—… that is fucking stupid. Shut your human-loving mouth. Don't look so smug! You don't know this place!" I think Genkan touched a nerve!
"You're doing a really good job of informing me." Genkan's sarcasm was practically dripping off her voice. Jesus! ...The drawl she used was hot!
Discouraged, Koharu sighed. "I'll… I'll have my eyes on you. I'm also pairing that rogue outsider up with your group. We were considering eating her, but we think she has something to do with the lunar rabbits." Hooh. "Don't make trouble, or your human friend may be next."
Genkan stared her levelly in the eyes. "Threaten us again and see what happens. We just wanted to celebrate the new year, sister. Don't ruin such a happy occasion with your self-importance."
...Koharu promptly retreated, deciding not to retort to that.
I gave Genkan a passive look. "Man, what crawled up her ass an' died?" I'm also surprised Genkan just got away with threatening her back!
"She's probably just stressed out," Genkan figured. "And, um… do you remember how I used to be, Brad? She's not so different from me. We do tend to judge first and ask questions later. Don't think too unkindly of her. She doesn't seem any thicker than Shimokoa, at the very least."
Pfft. "I mean, if y'set the bar low enough…"
Smiling, Genkan shook her head. After a moment a' thought, her smile became lopsided! "I hope we're treated as visitors and not prisoners or threats. I was hoping for a comfy time here."
I shrugged. If we socialize with people fast enough, we'll pro'lly form a good impression anyway. Probably. Assuming I don't get the urge to be too demented!
We panned towards the bed, to see Maria had become a lump, having collapsed plainly next to Ha-chan.
"I take it all the walking she's done has tuckered her out," Genkan looked at me! "What about you?"
Therefore, I came to a decision. "I am the tuckerer."
Oh! That's when someone new came through the front door! She was escorted by Koharu, who just kinda shoved her in with us. I can't believe displacing people is a yuki-onna thing.
"I— I can walk, you know! Hey, let me go! Woah!"
The brown-haired girl clad with a really flashy cape staggered to a stop before us. "What's the big idea!?" She spun back around to confront the yuki-onna!
"You have been spared," Koharu told her! "Tonight is a festivity. Were it not New Years, I would have consumed you myself."
"Bold of you to assume that I am consumable!" This gaudy chick with her black cape… "I'm a key item!"
Aw, yeah! She's super cape girl! I saw her in the dream world place, along Hecatia and Doremy! Her sudden appearance was jarring enough t'make me not recognize her at first!
"Tell it to your human and human-loving rabble here. Myself, I'm washing my hands of this situation tonight. If you're still around, I'll have more questions later."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm sick a' your bad cop act. Where's the good cop?" She adjusted her glasses, beaming confidently. "I can go Jackie-chan on your cold butts if I've gotta!"
Koharu just kinda left her hanging, gently sliding the door shut in her face.
"...Man." She huffed. "What crawled up her ass an' died?" Aw— that's almost exactly what I said!
In the past twenty seconds, I've devised an answer to that question. "A fluffle."
She twisted to face me. I grinned back at 'er!
"You…" She gave me a close look!
I just kinda took in her cape. Inside it was a void of red and runes, and man it was stylish!
We stalked around one another automatically. With her palm, she adjusted her glasses, trying to look cool.
"I remember you. You were in that loopy limbo whatever-land too. With Doremy." She looked over my camou-mono, and stroked her own chin. "And so was this extremely plain snow lady!"
"I only very faintly remember you," Genkan admitted. "But… that smell. You're an outsider."
"You bet." Sumireko beamed! "Say, how long's that scent even take to wear off?"
"...A little while." Genkan wasn't sure. "After these past few months, Brad now smells just human. And sometimes stinky."
"Oouh." Bathing is a difficult task in these wildlands, son…
"Brad? That's his name?" She gave me the vaguest look. "That's like the most generic dude name ever."
Pfft. "Oh, yeah? An' what's yours?"
She folded her arms confidently. "Sumireko Usami. Voyeur of dreams, master of mirage! Mystery magician, seeker of fantasy. And who are you?"
I wish I had khakis so I could roleplay as a Staples employee. "I am the fluffle snifer." With one F, pronounced similar to "sniper" except with an F!
"...So you are." She nodded her head plainly. "Alright. So—" she centered her gaze on Genkan, "Are you like, the warden? Are we in prison? Y'know I'm here with Reisen, right? The lunatic rabbit from Eientei?"
"I'm not an authority." Genkan informed her. "I'm as uncertain about this as you are. I wanted to sight-see here on New Years with my boyfriend," she gestured to me! "It's apparently more hostile than I thought… or, perhaps it's just that sister."
"Sister?" Sumireko questioned the vocabulary. "You guys're family?"
"What?" Genkan questioned that, 'cause she was disarmed by the question itself!
So I answered! "Far as I can tell, yuki-onna call one another sisters as a cultural thing. Actually hey, since there're snow guys, d'you call them brothers?"
Genkan snorted. "...That's a good point. Maybe? For some reason, I doubt it. I can't explain why."
Sumireko nodded. "I think I got a few ideas..." Something something grace of the female form versus male imperfections, pro'lly.
Anyway! "Since we're not really trapped here— how 'bout we just randomly wander around the village!?"
"Read my mind!" Sumireko moved for the door! "Brad. Brad. Brad. Alright, I should remember your name now."
Genkan smiled strangely at that. "What? Is his name that hard for you to remember?"
"Yes, it is." What! "Look, it's not everyday there's just some throwaway American dude just hangin' out, havin' a good ol' time!"
Does she think I'm the side-character!? "What makes you any less throwaway…!?"
"Check out my cape. Check out this hat. And you should see me in a fight! Your outfit looks randomized!"
Ooh. I got an idea! "An' you look like you'd be the magician at a kid's birthday party!"
My jeer tempered her smile, oouu. My own beaming smile shifted into a devilish smirk…
"His name isn't actually just Brad." Genkan, no! "It's Bradley."
Sumireko's brows raised, an' she just stared at Genkan plainly. I let my arms ragdoll, an' just kinda stared Genkan down! ...Oh my god, Genkan began to give me this smug-ass look.
"Alright, let's strike a deal," Sumireko decided. "If you call me Sumi, I'll call you Brad."
"I'm gonna eat a fluffle," I decided… "Genkan, why…!?"
Instead of replying, she was only closer. Her static, innocent expression betrayed a world of smug intent…!
"I'll take that as a yes," Sumireko decided. "Come on. You two wanted to sightsee— so let's sightsee!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
"Haah…" Maria yawned, rubbin' her eyes. "We should, like… take a big nap…"
The yuki-onna village in the late evening— or early morning— was pretty. Way prettier than the human village! Even though the roads were dirt, and the village was thick with foliage, the structures were all ornate. They were a bit aged though. S'whatever, considering snow women don't have many needs in terms of shelter. If it weren't for summer, they probably wouldn't need a roof over their heads.
Objective: survive. Actually, objective: get Ha-chan some winter gear! So she can survive.
"Objective: survive," I inform the party, minus Ha-chan, who's comfy inside the bungalo that one stuck-up yuki-onna shoved us into.
"Ooh. You played Reach too?" Sumireko calls out my reference t'Halo Reach! "Actually, of course you have, you're American."
Genkan addressed Maria. "If you wanted to nap, you could have stayed with Hana."
"But— I wanna hang out with you guys too… until we all fall asleep…"
Yeah man, it's time to nuke Maria's sleep schedule! "We will convert Maria to cthulhu time."
"What…?" Maria looked worried!
That's when a generic yuki-onna in a deep green floral kimono that looked like a bed sheet came up to us! Just, outta the blue!
"Hello, sister." She greeted Genkan. "How are you?"
Genkan blinked innocently. "Do I know you?"
"You don't. I simply came to say… I haven't seen you around before."
"So you haven't."
"Are you new around here?"
"What if I am?"
...After an idle moment, the other snow woman smiled awkwardly. "I'm bad at socializing."
"Oh." Genkan smiled back awkwardly too! "You don't mind our presence?"
She looked over me an' Sumireko. "No?"
"Koharu gave us a hard time, you see." Genkan explained tonight's events. "I'm not sure if the rest of the village will be as harsh."
The random snow woman shrugged. "It depends. I, personally, have no problem with humans. You seem nice too."
"Oh. Well… thank you."
This discussion has been too smooth. "Assfuck sails at midnight."
Sumireko followed up on my energy. "Huhuhehehe!" Letting out a truly diabolical laugh, she put on the most despicable face.
And— to our surprise, the random yuki-onna followed up on it too! "I like to lick harps."
"What the heck…" Maria was slightly woken up by this sequence of events! "This is too much."
The yuki-onna shook her head at that! "So I see you've met Koharu's little brother. He's a sweetie."
What? How'd she figure that? And, he!?
"Who?" Maria was also confused!
"Huh?" The yuki-onna was confused back! It's all gone wrong! Communications are breaking down! "Um…"
"What?" I asked a question not meant to be answered!
"What? What was said?" Genkan became confused too!
"Wh— what're we talking about?" Sumireko turned to us! "I wasn't paying attention!"
"Where?" I asked another question!
...Genkan began to stare me down, growing wiser.
"How?" I asked a new question!
Maria interjected to regain narrative control over the universe! "Brad, stop sabotaging the conversation. Miss snow lady— did you say she had a brother?"
"Mmhm. And, my name is Hikozaemon. But you can call me Snowy. It's what all my friends call me." Why's her real name so big…!?
Stormy, Snowy… where's our good friend shitty? I'd say "rainy" or "windy" but "stormy" kinda encapsulates all a' those.
"Snowy." Genkan's returning stare to her was level. "Very original."
"It's cute." Hikozaemon gave her a soft smile in return. "It's a common nickname around here, but I like it. I don't like to stand out."
Aaw. "You don't like t'stand out, huh?" My gaze drifted down to her extremely tacky kimono… like, it wasn't just earth green, it had pink flowers. Pink and white flowers!
"Yeah." She looks worried! "I mean, well… I got mugged last time I was in the forest."
"What?" Genkan's worried in turn! "You… shouldn't leave yourself defenseless, sister. Have some courage."
Hikozaemon moves closer to her! "But I'm good at arguing."
Genkan isn't appeased! "I'm not—… sure that helps."
Hikozaemon got really close to her. "It helps."
Genkan is not intimidated. "Does it?"
She leaned in even closer! "It helps."
Genkan pursed her lips. "...I don't think so."
Doubling back, discouraged, Hikozaemon sighed. "We— well, you can believe that. But um… yeah, Koharu has a little brother. He should be getting back from the community choir. Are you all interested in meeting him?"
"Sure." Genkan didn't seem to really care.
Ooh— wait, I have actual real questions! "Hey, Hiku— uh, Hakozae—"
"Just call me Snowy!"
"Yo Snowy— where is the village armory!?" I need equipment! "I am in need of your strongest potions!" I couldn't resist!
She gave me a small expression, before continuing. "As a human, you probably couldn't handle our strongest potions." Aw yeah, she said the line, all is right in the world. "Um… that besides? We don't really have an armory. We make our weapons from ice as needed."
Maria brings up an interesting point! "Isn't that bad if you're ever attacked by fire elementals?"
"Why do you people keep implying we're bad at fighting?" Snowy got insecure about her power level! "We're actually very good at it! ...It's just, if we fought a fire elemental, we'd simply have to outnumber it. Probably. That's what we'd do."
"Uh huh…" Maria was skeptical.
"I'm skeptical because you're apparently only good at arguing," Genkan reminded her!
...After a delay, Snowy spoke to me. "We have people who make clothing." Just gonna ignore the point Genkan made, huh?
"Aw, yeah. Yeah maybe not like, an armory, but just…" Actually, shit, that reminded me. "Say. Those rabbit dudes who were found, where are they now?"
Snowy didn't seem t'expect that. "We have a morgue. They were taken there. Why?"
Reaching into my bag, I took out uh… I took out my yellow racecar helmet! "Detective. Private eye. Ace attorney. Eye in the sky. Somewhere out there, something is waiting for you. Take a look at my badge," I held the helmet higher!
...Uh oh. Snowy began to look aggressive!
Genkan immediately informs me that I did it wrong! "Brad, you've insulted her."
"What!?" Oh no!
"Do you really take me for an idiot?" Snowy was super displeased! "That can't have ever worked for you before."
"I'm sorry, sister. He didn't mean anything bad." Genkan apolomagized on my behalf. "Can you not see? You even indulged this randomness earlier. You did this."
"I did this?" Snowy was awed by the accusation! "What is he, a dog? Can he not control himself?"
"No," Genkan declared!
"No," Maria agreed!
Snowy's put at ease by our beating-the-shit-outta-me energy. "...Mmh. Very well. I suppose telling you about the morgue couldn't do any harm. It's the spooky building on the edge of town. The only one made of large, flat stones."
"Hooh…" I hummed idly.
So, there's a clothier for Hana's outfit… and there's also the lunar rabbit corpses… which makes me wonder somethin'.
"We're almost to the town center," Snowy announced. "Don't do anything too stupid. I'm saying that for the random one."
"Thank you." Genkan thanked her plainly. "Don't worry. I'll keep him on good behavior."
When Snowy drifted into the building ahead of us, I just kinda turned to Genkan! "Man, she took that really hard fer no reason…"
"Right?" Genkan thought it was weird too! "How come I've never noticed this irritability before?"
Maria interjected, "Probably 'cause you hardly see your sisters… and because you've been around us too much."
Genkan snorted. "Probably."
Sumireko swooced on in! "I've got an awful idea."
Oh? "Shoot." Can't be anymore awful than this idea I've got in the back of my head! It's this one where—
"We steal the outfits off the dead bunny soldiers." Sumireko took the fuckin' idea right outta my mouth!
Maria sighed. "That really is terrible. That's disrespectful."
...Genkan didn't object. I turned to her, and began to smile! "Y'know what? That's why I asked 'bout it. I had that idea too!" I decided to support the motion!
"This must be for a reason," Genkan figured. "You're not the kind to be that morbid otherwise."
I snapped my fingers. "Y'know the energy shields they have? And how good they are for y'know, not dying?"
"Oh…" Maria began to realize.
I nodded! "If we can find some that fit, maybe get 'em adjusted at a clothier like the snow women here or maybe Alice… we could have some damn good protection from now on."
Sumireko beamed. "Damn, Brad. You're a real point 'n' click gamer, aren't you?"
I'm not sure if she means FPS gamer or actual point and click adventurer! "Hell yeah!" I don't actually play many point and click adventures!
"Of course." Genkan shook her head. "Incredibly practical, yet somehow still just… wrong."
Maria shook her head. "It's still a little bad… but like, I can't lie: energy shielding sounds like a good idea. And can you imagine how much that must cost on its own, if we bought it normally?"
"We're destined to be strange people," Genkan realized. Yeehaw!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
The "town center" which's apparently what they're callin' the town hall is a strange li'l place. It's a three story "mansion" but it's more like a normal house. A little tall and thin, weirdly enough.
At the bottom, we had a dining room and kitchen. It was weirdly modern. There's a fridge and a stove, but they look mostly unused.
"Where'd they get their tech from?" Sumireko suddenly questioned, staring at the lightbulb and ceiling fan it hung from. "Most a' the other houses here don't have much other than candles."
That's a good question! "Yukari?" I guessed!
Sumireko gave me a tired look. "Well, probably, but we dunno why. Or maybe it was the rabbits."
Aah, she's right. "Aw yeah, rabbit rebel house appliance factories."
"Hey, y'never know! It could've been a front for income!"
"What exactly do snow women make that'd be so important?"
Sumireko began to beam! "I dunno, ice!? Ice cream?"
After a moment, all four a' us were scattered around the dining room. Maria opened the stove. "It's sparkly clean. And it's so clean. So, so clean…" She was awed by how modern it looked! "Brad, we've gotta steal it."
"Maria…" Genkan hovered up to her! "This is someone else's."
Maria snorted. "I know, I know. Just joking."
Genkan looked like she was befunkled. "Oh. I'm sorry. I mistook you for Brad for a second." Wahaha!
In the background, I opened the breadbox next to the stove.
There was a fluffle inside. Taking the loaf out, I opened the stove, and put the loaf inside.
Beep! The stove was powered when I pressed the "on" button! Aw yeah!
Beep! Beep! I set it to pre-heat to four-fifty. Ho ho ho!
tick- tick. The stove clicked with an initial surge of energy, giving off a subtle sound to indicate that it was heating up.
...My favorite part was just how Genkan an' Maria just silently watched me do that. An' they're still watching me! Just, without comment!
"Oh my god, are you fucking cooking it alive?" Sumireko couldn't believe I just up an' did that!
"No?" I gave her a bewildered smile! "I'm cooking it dead."
"Jesus Christ dude." She beamed at the stove! "I know they're like, not technically alive or something, but jeez…" Oh? She knows the fluffle lore? Hoh.
This was a plain-ass, if a li'l vintage, modern dining room. Except for this kotatsu in the center. There was no western dining table with chairs, just a kinda lengthy, long-shaped kotatsu. Weird choice for snow women who don't gotta be warm, come to think of it.
fwoof. In the background, Genkan opened the fridge. When met by the prospect of beverages, she was pleasantly surprised. "Oh. It's a cold pantry. That's brilliant." Yes Genkan, that's what a refrigerator is.
Now I'm curious. Crouching down, I gaze under the kotatu's blankets, and— ooh! It's… cold!
"Oh my god, the kotatsus have like, air conditioners inside them." They were more like big ice cubes, or some kinda luminescent blue machine that just made cold. "Or some kinda ice magic."
"Oh?" Genkan was excited! She got under the seat next to me, and instantly melted. "Oh..." How ironic!
Didn't Snowy drift into here? Where'd she go? She already go up to the next floor ahead of us?
That's when I heard the stairs get used! Which struck me weirdly, 'cause yuki-onna tend to float everywhere, which makes me wonder why they even installed stairs. Couldn't they just have like… a ramped shaftway or some crazy shit like that? Actually, shit, me and Genkan could do that in our place 'cause my gravity boots would let me traverse passages like that.
"I'm missus white Christmas! I'm missus snow!" Woah! The chick coming down the stairs sang to us!
A white-haired girl leapt down the stairs, clad in a sparkly blue business suit! "I~'m mister icicle! I'm missus ten below!"
She bound over to us with incredible energy— and holy shit, she was small! "Friends call me Snow Miser!" She shook Maria's hand, and shook her arm all around!
"Whatever I touch," she curled around the kotatsu, holding a toy truck, "Turns to snow in my clutch!"
fwoof. With a fluffy poof of powdered snow, the truck turned into snow!
Standing tall, feet together, she let the snow flutter away, putting a hand to her chest, tryin' to look all official. "I'm too much." Her white hair was fluffy, extremely messy, a complete bushy wreck on her head.
Listlessly, Snowy floated down from the stairway. "You mean mister white Christmas. You mean mister snow."
The white-haired girl— question mark?— winked, pointing at her. "That's right!"
"Snow Miser" bound up between me and Genkan where we sat, slipped in between us, and wrapped an arm around either of us! "Sing it!"
Aw, hell yeah! "He's mister icicle! He's mister ten below!" I remembered the lyrics to this one! I saw that Christmas special growin' up!
She— or he— looked surprised that I was the one singin' instead of Genkan! "I'm mister Snow Miser— whatever I touch… turns to snow in my clutch!"
They leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and then kissed Genkan on the cheek, "I'm too much." I say "they" because I'm becoming legitimately unsure what gender they are…!
Before me and Genkan could harass 'em, they sprang out and put their hands on my shoulder! "I never wanna see a day that's over forty degrees! I'd rather have it thirty, twenty, ten— five— and let it free~ze!" She splayed a hand out to accent her point! "Hehehe!"
She broke from me to give Sumireko a wry look. "Huhe— y'know some like it cold..."
Thump! Oh— holy shit, they swooced into my lap! "But I like it really cold. Hehe!"
Taking off her white-blue tophat, she put it on my head! Man, why do I keep attracting all the demented loli-type folks!? Wait, they're not even a she, are they? I can't tell!
I opened my mouth to ask my question, but she— they put their finger on my lips. "Sing it." They leaned past my ear, speakin' quietly, "Chorus again."
I sang slightly off key on purpose because the way they commanded me to sing was slightly creepy! "He's mister white Christmas, he's mister snow...!" Maybe it was more than slightly off key.
"That's right." She wrapped an arm around my head, like I was holdin' her bridal style while sitting!
"He's mister icicle, he's mister ten below!" I had my lips pursed, kinda baffled myself…!
"Huhehehe!" Springin' outta my lap, she wrapped an arm around Genkan again! "Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch…"
Spinning a navy-gloved finger around, she booped Genkan's nose with it. "Turns to snow in my clutch."
fwoof. Genkan's nose froze over. She looked miffed!
Letting out a satisfied sigh, they sat comfortably between me and Genkan. "Too~ much."
Snowy sighed, "Too much." Yeehaw!
...Now that she was done, I asked my question. "Are you a boy or a girl!?"
"Oh?" She looked up at me. "I'm a boy!" Fuck! "But I can be a girl if you want… hehehe!"
Wrappin' her arms around us again, she called out to Snowy. "Hey, Snowy! Pour me and my good friends some lemonade! And not the yellow snow kind!"
Snowy looked miffed too! "Don't even joke about that."
"Oh, shush. Why're you so stiff today? Was it something I said?" I refuse to internally refer to this little loli-lookin' dude as Snow Miser, so they'll remain without a noun until I can find one! When they turned back to me, they took their tophat back off my head! "I'll take that back…"
"What's yer name?" I had to know! "Like, your actual one?"
She— he, fuck— gave me a drab look. "Weren't you listening, dude?"
"Son." I'm gonna throttle this little monkey man!
Snowy eased my plight. "His name is Sharaku." Oh, finally.
Sharaku huffed up! "Snowy~! I want 'em to call me Snow Miser! For at least today!"
"You can ask them about that, then."
"But there's no way now! It was all about the surprise!" Sharaku folded his arms, pouting between us. "Man. You've just got no taste for cinematography."
Genkan finally got a chance to interject. "I'm going to kill you."
Sharaku chuckled! "Aw… you know, that's funny! Pretty ladies tell me that all the time!"
"It's something I tell Brad affectionately. It's not something I'm telling you affectionately." Genkan was still miffed!
"Wait, Brad? Oh!" Sharaku held a navy-gloved hand to my face and waved obnoxiously! "Heya Brad!"
Man, this kid's that fuckin' harpy lady's younger brother? No wonder she's such a bitch, all her charisma got poured into this dude! "Heya, Sharaku!"
"Egh!" Sharaku took physical damage when I said their name! "Snow Miser! Call me Snow Miser!"
Sumireko got under the kotatsu seat across from us— only to double back immediately, 'cause it was way too cold! "Holy shit that's cold!"
Sharaku looked at her, and her— his— mouth hung open. Then he turned to me! "Hey, if you're human, how do you handle the cold like an ice guy? I kinda mistook you for one at first!"
click, click, click. Snowy sat down the lemonade before us, and immediately Sharaku was distracted. "Oh, Snowy! You should bake your cookies again! They were so good the other day!"
"Not now…" Snowy shook her head. "There's a situation."
"Oh, so there was." Sharaku leaned back, placing her hands on the floor and staring at the ceiling. "Buncha dead bunnies laying around the village, right? Just popping up in really obvious spots, all a' sudden?"
Translation: whatever illusion Reisen and those bunnies used— or cloaking devices, however it works— are running out, now that they're dead and Reisen's gone.
Snowy nodded. "So your sister told you."
"Yeah, yeah. Man…" Sharaku felt at his neck. "Kinda sucks being the only authority in this little town! It's always Snow Miser this, Snow Miser that…"
He twisted around, putting his legs in Genkan's lap, and puttin' his head on mine. I never thought I'd be giving someone else a lap pillow, but here we are. "Aah. I just wish it was New Years day already. A nice and cold sunny day."
...I drank the lemonade that Snowy had set out, and holy shit it's bitter! Oh god, it's a rural lemonade recipe! It's time— to grow a pair and drink it…!
Genkan drank it without much more than a small puckering of her lips. Damn! She's resilient!
Maria tried some. "Ghak—" Ooh! So the village's recipes have more sweetener, then.
"Maria sustained physical damage," I lamented. "There's a reason why I only took a small sip!"
"It— it's so bitter…" Maria was weathered after all of that! "God!" Yeah hey— what the dog doin'?
Sharaku committed a sin. "That's what she saaaid!"
Genkan and Maria might've totally not understood it, but me and Sumireko did. An' that's enough, son. That's a war crime.
Sumireko drew a stout little handgun! "I'm gonna hafta kill ya for that one." Holy shit!
"Aw, try me." Sharaku seemed to not care! When I stared down at her— him, 'cause he was still using my lap as a pillow, he stared up at me and smiled gently.
With that, Sumireko picked up a glass a' lemonade. Man, the ornate glasses they use here are pretty. "Can't be that bad. My parents would make some bitter shit…" She chugged, and— "Oou— oohk!" It was a mistake!
"Wow. You people really never drank lemonade before, huh?" Sharaku smiled wryly! "Humans are so weird!" His gentle smile broke into a more manic one for the exclamation, but it soon returned to neutral.
"Bone hurtin' juice!" I held the glass up, and took a big sip oh god this was a mistake— "Ooh! Oof…"
"Hehehehe!" Sharaku is just enamored with me for some reason! "Hey, Snowy. Don't you think this guy is kinda cute?"
"He's taken," Snowy declared plainly.
"Wait, what, already!?" Sitting up, Sharaku looked around sorta paranoid! "By who!? Was it you?" She narrowed her eyes at Snowy!
"It was me." Genkan declared! "He is my boyfriend."
"Oh!" Sharaku stared at Genkan! "...I don't think I've ever seen you before either! Where'd you people come from!?"
"Brad and I live in the nearby caves. This is the first time we've come here."
Sharaku smirked. "Picked one hell of a time to do that. Anyway, you guys're cool." He lounged out again, head laying on my lap again. "Can we hang out?"
I'm just never not gonna be in a party with like fifteen people, huh. "You know what? Sure! Why the hell not? It's not like any of us need screentime…!"
"Huh? Oh, please. It's not like anyone needs it besides me." Sharaku's real fuckin' ballsy too! "Hey, Brad, Brad's snow lady. Wanna go on a date? The three of us?"
"This world is too horny." Genkan declared! "I don't want to be horny. I just want to be happy."
The meme phrase actually touched Sharaku, who kinda just stared at her from my lap with a little awe.
Maria withheld the urge to chuckle at Sharaku's pause. "We had a rude encounter with a succubus recently, so we're all a little spent." That and when me and Genkan got back from the New Years party we kinda molested each other, so we're drawn out at the hormone bank.
"Well…" Sharaku closed her eyes, getting comfy in our laps. "We don't have to like, go crazy. Just a sweet little date with the three of us. I mean, I know two dudes and one girl's kinda weird, but like… I'm girl enough for him too, right?"
"Is this how you always are with people?" Genkan was slightly incredulous! "I refuse to believe—"
Snowy interjected. "Yes. Well… Sharaku is a weird one. But typically, snow men have multiple mates since we have a bias towards being born female. As such, if we wish to be born naturally… relationships have to be a little open-ended."
"Oh…" Genkan was really surprised! "Oh. So…"
Sharaku giggled. "Hehehe! Snowy an' me are real close, y'know? Hey, Brad… if you were my boyfriend, I could hook you and Snowy uuup."
"Sharaku!" Snowy objected! "He's a human! That would make me stand out so much! I could never."
Sharaku sat up from my lap an' gave her a weird stare! "...And dating me's not!?"
Snowy snorted. "Well, you date so many people…"
Sharaku's eyes widened! "What!? Are you saying my attention isn't special!?"
She took a pause, and then she nodded! "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. And that's why I like it. No one bats an eye when you're being kooky and taking your sisters on joy rides. Or, letting your sisters take you on joy rides."
Sharaku sat up fully, an' wrapped an arm around me. "I'd let this dude take me on a joy ride, if ya know what I'm sayin'..."
I shook my head. "No, I don't."
Sharaku took that at face value! "You know. The sisterly dance? The touching of two maidenhoods?" Who says that…!? Actually wait, I think Genkan did once.
I chose not to parse this! "Speak language that makes sense."
"Sex." Sharaku's expression was super flat! "If you're bigger, I'll let you rail me."
I just gave 'em a look. "See, Genkan, this is why the world needs internet porn."
Sumireko was staggered! "Wha— how'd you get to that? How the fuck'd this get to sex so quickly!?"
I continued! "'Cause if we had internet porn, this girl— guy, thing— would have an outlet for their horny energy without going on a sexual crusade…!"
"Porn wouldn't solve our population imbalance!" Sharaku decided! "That'd make it worse!"
"Unfortunately, we're not open to having our relationship invaded," Genkan told Sharaku. "We're also not part of this village. I can understand your plight, but it's not my own."
Sharaku pouted at that. "But… it just sounds so lonely. I can't imagine only loving one woman." Don't uh, don't say that on the outside, y'might piss some people off! "Actually! Brad, you and that witch girl there—"
"No," Maria interjected! "Why do we keep getting asked that? No, we're not sc— screwing!"
"Why not!?" Sharaku held her arms out! "You're both adorable!"
"Freakin'—!" I was about to call her adorable back as an insult, but relented! I mean him, fuck. Why's he so goddamn feminine!? His voice is totally a chick's voice!
"Sharaku doesn't mean anything bad," Snowy sounds literally like Genkan in this scenario. "Just—"
Genkan recognizes this too! "I literally said that to you. About Brad. Word for word."
Actually, shit, how much money do we have after all of the shipmeister antics? Uuh. Y'know, that's a good question… but I don't have time to take stock!
Sharaku shrugged. "Guess there's no getting through to you guys. But, if you don't mind the cold, you should really join the village, y'know? We can build you a house! And most of us don't work anyway 'cause we don't gotta eat… much! But you'd have to be especially okay with uh…" Sharaku licked her lips. "Brad's a human, right? So he can make soul heat, right?"
"Soul heat?" Genkan questioned the vernacular. "You just mean heat, right?"
"Yeah. Anyway, you'd have to share. Not just for me— but so we could get snacks without eating humans or other things." Ah yes, farming the Brad mob type.
Genkan shook her head. "That... doesn't sound like something I'd appreciate."
Sumireko interjected! "What, y'mean you don't want him becomin' the town bicycle?"
Maria also cut in! "Think about it. Sharaku's basically suggesting he becomes cattle." Well, when it's put that way, it's decidedly unappealing!
Sharaku shook his head rapidly! "He wouldn't be cattle! He'd just— well…" Be cattle!? Yeah, that's what I thought! "He'd be reusable cattle. As like, a job. Or no— he'd be like a farmer!"
"No." Genkan refused.
"Mmmh…" Sharaku held onto his hat in a depressed fashion, obviously attempting to look cute about it.
Y'know, In some other universe this is the start of a porno.
fwoof. A fire was lit in the stove behind us! Oh no!
"Huh!? Oh shit!" Sharaku got up and ran up to it, opened it up, and sprayed some ice magic inside! "Go out go out go out!"
Shooof! I can't believe he knows how to cast "fire extinguisher". "Oh no, man." I lamented the scenario very idly. ...But when I turned to Genkan, she was giving me a suspicious look!
Whelp, with that I stood up. "It's time for the New Years dungeon. And by that I mean I'm going to explore!" I've had enough sittin' around!
Promptly, the entire room shifted a little closer to me. Ah yeah, let's count. Genkan, Maria, Sumireko, Sharaku, Snowy… and me. Six fuckin' people!
Alright. "Genkan, you obtain the kimono that will give Ha-chan the ice resistance." I had a plan! "We're gonna split up into two teams! I will get the lunar outfits!"
Sharaku blinked at that! "Huh?"
Oh, right! "Yo Snow Miser, can we have some of the lunar rabbit outfits off of the dead bunny corpses?"
"Oh, sure thing." Sharaku waved at me like I asked for sugar. "What for?"
"We want energy shields!" I decided!
Sharaku suddenly super beamed! "I want an energy shield too! I'll come with you!" Aw yeah!
Genkan nodded. "That would be efficient, yes. How will we be divided?"
Maria came up to me! "I'll go with Brad. You keep Sharaku captive."
"What…!?" Sharaku refused this fate! "No, I'm goin' with Brad man!"
Sumireko moved for the door. "Y'know, I'll just hang with Genkan for a bit. You guys have fun looting those corpses. And get one for me, okay?"
Snowy looked opposed to everything. "I'll just… stay here, and wait."
Oh, man. How many outfits are we gonna steal…!?
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
"And that's why we need like, all of their outfits!" Sharaku finished his argument to the sole snow woman down at the stony morgue. "Right now! We're gonna strip 'em naked!"
This snow woman was huge. And stacked, but primarily huge. "I don't know about that." Holy shit. I mean, she didn't say anything intimidating, but she just was intimidating!
Maria had a flat stare, starin' me over as we stood here!
"But we need them now…!" Sharaku demanded we get to loot the corpses! "We really super need them! Real bad! Down bad!" Smirking, he adjusted his white-blue top hat. "I know you, Tamaki. If you lemme have this, I'll crawl over ya the way y'like tonight…"
Tamaki sighed. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you interfere with my work. And you know I like a date before we get down to business. I see through your manipulation, and I am not disarmed."
"Shit." Sharaku gazed at me. "Okay, you seduce her Brad."
Aw. Well. Aah. Idea!
Swallowing my saliva, I look mournful as I reach into my bag, and I take out the roasted fluffle from Sharaku's house. "Hey. I'm actually here to check in my pet."
Tamaki stared at the charcoal fluffle, shocked by the sudden reveal. "Oh… oh my god. What happened?"
"We were in the woods, and some damn uh, dude shot a flaming arrow at it. So I wanted to see it off right. I didn't know what to do, so I came here."
Tamaki gave me a sad look. "...Uu— um. Well… I'll help you. Come with me. We will bury it in the yard. What was its name?"
Uh oh. "Fluffy."
She placed her hand on the ball of charcoal. "Rest easy, Fluffy. Your time in this cruel world has come to an end."
Tamaki escorts me off, and I just— I gesture inside the morgue and make faces at Sharaku and Maria!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: MARIA YAMADA'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Whenever Brad goes off and just does this crazy stuff, I'm always sort of impressed. Like, it's no surprise anymore, but… how does he do it?
"Wow." Sharaku was impressed too. "That's screwed uuup. But I guess we can go inside now!"
We ought to work quickly. Lighting up my Iron Lantern staff, I enter the unlit morgue, and… ah, I see why it wasn't lit.
There's a bunny corpse here with a partial head. Blood is leaking from a stone slab onto the stone floor, still freshly dripping, but still browning despite this.
The scent of iron was overwhelming. And this wasn't just for one body.
There were eleven corpses, and eight of which had heads so badly punctured that the whole upper body of their outfit was caked in blood.
"Oo—" Sharaku's voice caught in her throat. "...Oh." His voice was tiny when she beheld them.
I gave him a flat look. "First time seeing dead bodies?" It was mean of me, but I've had enough of horny trendy woman energy after we met Sammy the other day. You know what? Sammy and this guy-girl-thing would be a good fit for each other.
...Actually, that's a terrifying thought.
"Nn— no." Sharaku swallowed. "Um. It's just… actually seeing them in person… kinda kills the mood. I— I just… wasn't thinking it'd like… look so… bad…"
With that, Sharaku kinda turned away from the bodies. "Hey, um, human girl— how about we like... don't?"
Idea. What if we just took whatever makes the shields from their suits? What exactly makes them tick? It's unfortunate that this place probably doesn't have any technology people.
"I don't care," I decided. "I just need three, for me and my friends. We probably won't wear them bloody. We'll clean them up. And, I think there's probably a specific module which does the shield effect. So if we can reverse engineer that, then… we won't need the suits at all."
Regardless, Brad's counting on me to get these outfits, so…
Let's start with the bodies that don't have their heads shattered and stuff. Like, seriously yuck. It makes me wanna vomit. Seriously awful. I don't even want to touch those…
I stared at one of the bodies too closely, and saw the spinal column sticking out of the neck of one completely headless corpse. My stomach turned.
Sharaku was wigging out. "Du— dude… don't do this. Seriously… I— I don't think I can take much of this, actually. Like, oh my god… Ta— Tamaki was right."
For the bodies that took shots to places other than the head, I was able to just… undo the jacket part of the suit and take it off. It's inordinately heavy.
That's when I realized— the suit part of the jacket has all of the technology. The undershirt is just an undershirt.
Despite the blood, I looked around, and… sort of awkwardly slid off my regular jacket that goes with my snowflake shirt.
Putting it into my backpack, I put on the bloody, navy-colored suit jacket. There was a bullet hole through the heart, but that's not… much of my concern, at this point. I just hope it didn't break anything.
Oh. I see. The heaviest stuff is on the sides, protecting where your guts aren't protected by your ribs. Nothing for the guts, because that's where you button it up.
When I get just the jacket alone on—
vuuum. Woah. A mesh of energy formed around me...
"Okay. We don't have to take their undershirts off," I realized. "So let's just…"
Soon, I have the three I need. Sharaku's at the door, no longer willing to humor this.
"Let's go." I hurried out the door.
...Where's Brad? I guess he's getting held up. They're probably holding a whole three ring circus for his dead loaf.
Sharaku was quiet while I traveled back to the communal prison house or wherever. Considering how quick that was, I doubt Genkan and the others will even be back.
"Heya." Sharaku spoke up.
"Hey?" I faced him, at the doorway to the house.
"You're really brave."
...Am I? "Guess so."
"You like, put up with that… all because you didn't want to disappoint Brad."
Well, "Brad, but also Genkan. It was a crazy idea, yeah, but…" No matter how you look at it, energy shields are just a smart idea. I was willing to look past the craziness of looting corpses. It sorta felt like a villainous thing to do, but… it wasn't like I stripped them naked or anything. "What's a little disrespect for the dead?"
I felt a little guilty for saying something so intentionally edgy, but Sharaku seemed to buy into it. "Wo~w. That's like… something an evil queen would say."
Oh, no. I was immediately reminded of that dream I had while me and Hana fought with Koakuma. The one where I was an evil queen, and then I got pissy with Brad, and he shot me in the head with a silenced pistol 'cause I threatened Genkan. That was a cool dream. By which I mean, it wasn't.
Regardless, um, Sharaku was a weird… kid? "How old are you, Sharaku?"
"Oh! Twenty two, thank you." He put on a fake-firm voice and stood proud. "A strapping young man of twenty two!" Even his firm, pretending-to-be-masculine voice was very feminine. But, I could sort of feel the boyish element in it too.
That's four years older than Brad, and I don't know if I can accept that. That's eight years older than me actually! "Really? You feel like… a weird cross between a people person and someone who doesn't get people."
"Oh. Y'know, I get that a lot," Sharaku admitted. "But it's part of my charm! A lot of the ladies of the village are older women, and they love to pamper. And the guys are fun too!"
...You know, that explains a few things. Genkan is definitely the pampering type… mostly. She's not really superior. She's become good at using her pride as a snow woman to add to Brad's comedic timing, so she's fully self-aware of her sort of… haughtiness? Unlike, you know, Shimokoa.
"You're a little parasite." I played up my apparent "dark queen" energy.
"Hehehe! Hey, it's not my fault I'm adorable!" He says, as if he's not trying. Just look at that suit. He's trying really hard. And… I wouldn't say it's not working. I'd just not rather humor it.
Sliding the door open, I stared down at Hana. She's sitting up in her seat now, but she's still shivering. I was right, in that no one else has showed up…
Sharaku spoke into my right ear. "Wanna date me?"
"No."
He recoiled immediately! "Wha—"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Tamaki patted the soil, standing proud before the tombstone she custom-chiseled in the last like two minutes. "There. Your pet has been given a proper sendoff. I hope this puts your heart at ease."
Now— I might've been joshin' her the whole time, but I'm actually kinda touched by the whole ordeal. "...Thanks." So I just played it straight. Was kinda reminded of the pets I had on the outside who'd passed while I was still around. "It's always weird, y'know?"
"Hmm?"
"Or, uh… I guess it goes without saying, but a pet dyin' is always hard."
Tamaki put a hand on my shoulder. "I know. These things always hurt. There is no pain quite like it."
Really isn't, is there? It's not as big as losing a sentient loved one… but it still hurts. A pet's still family. When I was a lot younger, when I lost my first cat, I cried a little. When we lost two more cats later, I didn't cry. But it still did something.
And that reminded me a' the time I cried 'cause I wanted to snap Maribel like a freakin' pretzel stick.
Tamaki squeezed my shoulder. "Death is scary, I know. But… don't be afraid."
A message so vague it could only mean something to someone as distant-yet-close to the things people say as me. "Aw, don't worry 'bout me. My last few pets who died, I didn't cry. I was just… horrified. A little disgusted at how it went down. At the decline. The way some people treated 'em…"
God, putting these things to words— I always tell myself it don't mean nothin', but seein' the pitying way Tamaki stares at me, the distraughtness she expects me to have, it's like my body just… is sad. Like it just reacts.
And I feel it, in the back of my head: the subtle ache of anger. Oh. That's why. I'm not sad. I'm pissed.
When I realized that, I heaved a sigh, and let it go. I gave the huge, otherwise absolutely unremarkable snow woman a warm smile. "You're a hero, Tamaki."
She was taken aback by the sudden praise. "...It's the most I can do."
Man. What a rollercoaster!
...Idly, I took one more look back at the tombstones surrounding the burial for my fake pet. That's when I realized I had my fairy wings out.
Oh. Lookin' down, I saw that yellow energy flowing like smoke from my core. It rescinded soon after.
Tamaki didn't seem to care about it. She must've noticed it way before I did.
"Did uh… did I let my wings out?" I questioned her!
"Yes. You did. It seemed like an emotional response."
Huh. Man, that massage Meiling gave me the other day musta fixed some shit.
My emotions made my magic burn exhaustively. But… I dunno. It's inherently a little pretentious, isn't it? To gain your power from your own emotions? That's always felt egotistical to me. S'like, the definition of self-absorbed. But it's not always used in a self-absorbed way, is it? That's what makes people think it's cool. Except for when it's not used like that, then it's not cool.
But, my point is… there has to be some other way. As powerful as your emotions can be, using them as a crutch alone seems like a dumbass thing to do. Shimokoa taught me that.
The way I beat her, too… that wasn't with just power. But what exactly were those other parts? Creativity? Curiosity? Friendship? Exploration?
At the time, I told her that she was focusing on the wrong things, and that wasn't wrong. But could I ever say those things in a way that would make sense to her? In a way that'd be true in her world?
"Man," I sighed, plantin' my arms on my hips. "I'm bored."
Tamaki snorted. "It's good to be bored." Ooh, is it now? Y'know… she's right. No, she's super right.
"Yeah."
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
"Yo, Genkan!" I caught up with Genkan towards the middle of the village!
She had a folded-up kimono in her hands, so it looks like she made out, somehow. "Ooh! I didn't give ya money, so I wasn't sure how you'd even find Ha-chan a kimono."
"They just gave it to me. It's just someone else's backup kimono," Genkan told me. "But it's as worn as mine, which means it should give Hana a lot of protection." Aw, yes! It's time to mis-match my party's clothing even more!
An' then I paused. "Y'know, couldn't we have just given Ha-chan one a' yours?"
Genkan snorted. "Probably. However, now that we have this, it can be hers forever. I rather like all of my spares…"
Actually, wait! "If ya didn't know 'bout this place, where'd you get yours…!?
"Alice." Ah. "I didn't get them enchanted, either. They just became that way in my care. The magical control I have over them is parts telekinesis, and parts imbuement of my own nature into them."
Her own nature… "Oh, so y'just gotta cum all over them."
Aggressively, Genkan reached over and ruffled the hell outta my hair! "Bad Brad." Yeehaw!
Oh, right! Sumireko's here! She kinda meandered out from behind Genkan, and just stared at me!
"Oh, hey." I greeted her. "I'm all outta cum."
Sumireko snorted. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"I'd sniff a fluffle with this nose." I became peaceful, dude…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 120 (155)
NEW ITEMS:
Big Acorn - it's tubby dude
Lunar Bunny Dress Jacket - Not actually a "bunny suit"! It's a suit's outer coat, fit with energy shields which add a second layer of expendable, rechargeable health to living beings it's attached to. Seems to only really apply to broad areas 'cause of some kinda specific material.
STATS:
Shield - Adds a static amount of shield, which takes damage instead of health. This hitpoint pool's resistances are as follows:
-100% resistance to electric, energy and laser attacks
-100% radioactive resistance
50% resistance to bomb damage
Worn Kimono - A soft, slightly frayed but nonetheless cozy kimono for Ha-chan to hide in during the winter time.
STATS:
200% ice resistance
-100% fire resistance
==== AUTHOR'S NOTE ====
BOY, HAS IT BEEN AWHILE…
show's not over yet folks (even if it's going to take longer than some of us would like)
do i have an ending in mind? yes, i have an ending in mind, but it'll take a little while to get there
where have i been? writing a book! will i let you see it? sure thing! ...when i'm done
see, this whole book writing adventure's been a little more than i bargained for. it's just about done! ...but, i'm taking some time to write FG for its anniversary and Christmas batches first.
if you do look for it, don't expect it to exactly be FG-like: it's a little more grounded, more serious, but you might be right at home with certain things. the reason why it's taken so long is 'cause i spent a long time revising the way i said certain ideas… a lot
and, i think it was healthy: i've had a lot to learn!
additionally with this update, a few chapters from the previous batch have been edited and revised to match the new quality standards
namely, maribel's psychobabble is a little less babble and a little more psycho(logical). additionally, i've honed in the emotions on shimokoa's plight more accurately.
also part of why the book's taken so long? i had to fit a story i wanted to tell into under 90k words. imagine. this chapter here? 15k words, wrote it in like three days, and half of that's characters shooting the shit and being themselves!
so events and plot elements had to be condensed! and what did that mean? that meant i had to sorta learn a new style of storytelling, blending the vibes we get here… with the pace and brevity expected of a 90k word standalone novel. now COMBINE THAT with audience anxiety, an attempt to tell a specific message (and category of images/thoughts) instead of just portraying a visual as i like to do with areas in FG… and, man, i really bit onto something big!
but, when the book's done, my plan's to return to my usual programming, and at the very least finish FREAKIN GENSOKYO… soonish. how soon is soonish? well, not this year lmao
maybe… next year? in the next two years? depends on how slow i end up taking it…
but i won't just be in college anymore either: i'm gonna be getting some real jobs and shit too! so we'll see how much free time i really have. i'd like to prioritize free time over work though, 'cause as long as i've got the money to survive, i don't care
==== ANYWAY ABOUT THIS CHAPTER ====
enough about me, let's talk about the story!
it's a slightly awkward segue from the party chapter 'cause it just kinda cuts, but i think it's fine. the slower pace might be nice after the previous few kerfluffly chapters.
i had a few too many basic goals for this chapter but it turned out fine 'cause the chaotic energy plays into FG's favor - w -
although now i have a far more clear vision for the thematic progress going forward— and what that means is that plot beats will be less intrusive (use less screen time) and more efficient (making more sense on average without getting too unnecessarily 4D about things)
im specular
