(in which we receive loaves)
Brad: the third approaches! Just in case you're a freak who skips around: me, my gentle girlfriend Genkan, Maria and fairy friend Ha-chan are in the grand clocktower of the Scarlet Devil Mansion…
To our right is Brittany: me from another dimension, a porcelain-faced bratty blonde woman with blue eyes and a maid outfit, escorted by her black-haired dom Komi, the spritely orange-haired shortstack bombshell Koi, and the often-forgotten blue-haired Namori.
To my left is a new Brad, oh god. Can I stop meeting myself like this…!? He's in a black suit with a red tie. His curly hair's slicked back, and… is it just me or is he like, bigger, somehow? He's also… alone.
He looked at me, then Brittany, lookin' unimpressed.
All of a sudden, Koakuma appeared from behind him! "...Oh. Ooh. This will be interesting."
"Koa. What's going on here?" He gave me and Brittany another level stare, his stare hard with resolve.
"...I believe these are alternate versions of you." His Koakuma looked around with equal plainness. "They both look batshit insane."
"Yeeeah." He nodded awkwardly! "Hmm."
I came up to him! "Heya, son. Are you the version of me who got fucked by Koakuma when I went to get that plant hanger for Flandre to escape the basement?"
...He clicked his tongue! "Sharp memory."
Hoh. "Yeah, how'd that go? Y'look like you made out good for yourself."
"...Where'd you want that question to go?"
I held my arms out! "I mean, hey, tell me 'bout yourself! Is Koakuma there your wife or somethin'?"
Brad three wasn't quite sure what to say to that!
"You could call us that…" Koakuma sounded so giddy! "He'd tell you we're partners, but… we've been good friends for a while now. I don't think he's looking to settle down either."
"And let me guess: you're the Brad who didn't." He held his chin high…
"Yeah!" I beamed! "Meet Genkan. She's innocent and soft."
"Innocent…?" Genkan's brows raised, innocently. "I'm not innocent. I've seen too much."
Brad three… existed, I dunno, he wasn't very expressive! "You're missing out."
"Oh?"
He smirked, just slightly. "Koa's hot." In the background, Koakuma put her hands on her own face, looking smug.
I had to ask: "This one goes by Brittany. What about you?"
"You can call me Bradley." Aw dude, the gang's all here. "I'm the mansion's master of staff."
Wait, hol' up. "What about Sakuya?"
"She's the master maid. Outranks me by preference." He looked so… calm.
Brittany beamed! "Oooh! That's funny! That's my rank too! But Sakuya is quite firmly my superior…"
He took a step back, suppressing a sigh. "We just do different jobs. What do… you do?"
"I'm the voice of the fairies."
Bradley chuckled. "Oh? Ooh. I get it. You got caught up in them."
"Caught up…?"
"When Koakuma taught me about women, some of my first practice with people who weren't her… were the fairies. That's how we'd discovered my natural essence. ...To Koa's pleasure."
Koakuma had a positively adoring leer. "Sex with fairies was one of the most efficient ways of fulfilling the natural pact and gaining its benefits. Sooo… I had my work cut out for me."
Brittany's brows were furrowed. "But… you still made friends with them, right?"
"A little," Bradley was all dismissive about it. "Fairies are alright. They don't mean bad."
"You're fulfilling your promise with nature though… right?" Brittany was lookin' slightly indignant! "It's your duty, Bradley."
"...No?" He grinned back! "I'm only obedient to Koa and the mansion."
"But…" Brittany pouted! "Nature trusted you! Are you really going to abandon it like that?"
"I'd like to think I'm giving back in my own way."
"And how is that?"
Bradley took out a silenced pistol from his coat jacket. Oh. "...I don't just take jobs from Remilia, I'll have you know. You'd be surprised how many people in Gensokyo are willing to kill one another."
Now I really wondered! "Hey, Bradley, what's your kill count?"
"Fifty one youkai. Ten humans. Twenty three Makai demons. I don't count fairies… or loaf-like beings. Outsiders uncounted." He rattled it off almost like a grocery list, 'cept for when he got to the fluffles.
Observin' all three of us, I began drawing patterns…
We all have a strange relationship with sex. I have avoided it until choosing to have it with Genkan. Bradley is apparently an independent sex maniac with a sugar momma… and Brittany is a dependant sex maniac.
Bradley here's also not as aggro as Brittany! "Cool. Anyway— how long have—"
He spoke over me! "Who the hell are those people?" He pointed at my friends! "Besides… Genkan."
Aw. "This is Maria. An' this is Ha-chan, or Hana."
"Yamada?" Bradley asked!
Ho ho! "Yeah!"
He nodded. "As I thought. Villager girl. Is her mom safe?"
"...Um." Maria raised a brow. "She's undead, if that counts."
Bradley furrowed his brows. "You didn't manage to save Sally?"
Wait, what! "I could've saved Sally…!?"
"Tell me about Matt. Did you help him?"
What! "Help him with what…!?"
"...So you let him kill Sally."
I shrugged! "I don't even know where he is now!"
"I'm assuming you're helping Genkan and Shimokoa go on their rampage they had planned."
Excuse me…!? "Say what!?"
Genkan responded to that! "I did what?"
...Bradley shifted his posture! "Did the situation change?"
"Yes." Genkan told 'em! "I'm peace-loving. And, Shimokoa has been… spoken with. I'm not sure if she's become less violent. But…"
Maria spoke up! "Hey. The me from your world. What's she like?"
Bradley just stared at her blankly for a moment. "...Overworked. Bored. Shy. Too damn chatty when you get to know her."
"Oo— oh." ...With that, she let out a relieved breath. "That's about what I thought. I'm… in a way, almost glad it all happened. I wouldn't have the friends I do now otherwise."
He centered his gaze on me. "...I guess you're not doing all bad. Still..."
He aimed his pistol at me oh god.
Fwi-Click! Instinctively, I summoned the lunar jacket accessory back on so I could benefit from the energy shield! "Son."
"You're a real asshole for losing sight of that shit. What the hell have you been doing?"
Y'know, I've gotta ask… "How can you kill people for a living?"
He flicked his eyes up briefly. "The way I look at it, it's community service… or a fact of life. If it wasn't me, for some people, they'd die either way. I'm just the easy way out."
Holding his silenced pistol closer, he looked along its black details. "Fate is a funny thing. I'm sure Remilia's told you all about it. As long as I'm the hand of fate…"
Brittany pouted at him. "If you were a hand of fate, you'd serve nature. Selfish prick."
He snorted, lookin' so cold. "Shut up, dumbass."
Brittany recoiled! "How dare you!?"
Komi lumbered out from around Brittany's side. "You ought to shut up yourself, or you might get eighty-sixed."
Bradley aimed his silenced pistol at them!
Koi, Namori and Komi pulled a "get down mister president" and all leapt into the way! "You…" Komi was taken aback. "You fuckin' monster. Put that thing down. That ain't a funny joke."
Bradley smirked, lowering his pistol. "I'd rather kill myself than be like you."
Maria spoke out, all of a sudden. "What's wrong with you? Stop pointing that thing at people." She had her own lunar coat worn, its energy shield becoming obscured as its charging just finished.
Bradley paid attention to her, then pointed it at her too.
She didn't back down. "You know what kind of threat that is, right?"
"I know. I just love to see you idiots squirm." That leer on his face, holy shit. "You're all that afraid of dying?"
Realization flared in my mind. "Yeah. 'Cause we have something to live for that's ours."
His eyes met mine, and the accusation filled him with such indignance. Air slid up his nostrils, he took a step closer, and pointed the pistol at me.
"You're not tough shit," he affirmed. "You've both tethered yourselves to such... pathetic things. I wouldn't be surprised if neither of you could take an order either."
"Pathetic things?" Genkan took slight offense! "Do you mean us?"
"Yeah, dumbass." Bradley took another deep breath. "Tell me, Brad. If someone killed Genkan, what would you become?"
Well… "It'd hurt! That's for damn sure! But— what if someone killed Koakuma there?"
Koakuma chuckled. "Like anyone could just come up and kill me."
...Bradley sighed. "That could never happen. An unrealistic fear. I trust her enough to know she won't just die. I also don't bring her everywhere like she's my teddy bear."
"I'm not just here for Brad," Genkan affirmed herself! "I'm here to see life from his perspective too. To enjoy this peace Gensokyo offers. I like adventuring."
He shook his head. "I'm just saying, you're setting yourselves up for failure. You'll have to grow up eventually."
Hoh… "And just what is growin' up?"
Bradley looked at me like I was stupid! "If you have to ask, you don't know."
"Or~ maybe you don't know, son."
Bradley's face twisted in some disgust. "Stop quoting your fucking dad."
I held my arms out! "But it's funny t'call people 'son'!"
"You weren't trying to be funny just there, were you?"
"S'not a bad idea to keep good humor even when you're thinkin', you know. Having fun and doing work aren't mutually exclusive."
He sighed again. "You're just making excuses for yourself. Work you really enjoy isn't work, until you learn to enjoy work. Once you're really doing work, you'll have someone else's motivations backing yours."
There was something there in him that I wanted to grab from that statement. It took me a moment… but thankfully everyone was standoffish enough that I could do my thinking.
"Is that really a good thing? Letting other people have convictions for you?"
He had a hard look. "Yeah. It is."
Koakuma interjected just then. "Let me stop you there, cutie. Bradley is a man of incredible courage."
His eyes gained a fire to them after Koa hyped him up. "That's right. You could never conceive of the great things I've done. The people I've met. The love I've had. It's a hard road. One you'll never know."
Koakuma put her hands on his shoulders, her spade-tipped tail swishing around in the air. "Can confirm. The disrespect you show for him here is rather unwise, I would say. I'd heed his advice if I were you. He knows what he's talking about."
"Yeah… I do." Koakuma's affirmation hyped him up, and he held his pistol at us confidently again. "Got anything to say about that?"
Brittany lives under the shadow of wisdom, automatically granted power and courage in her pursuit of it. Bradley lives under the shadow of courage, automatically granted wisdom and power for his extreme cowardice…
And I've lived under the shadow of attaining power, wisdom and courage falling into my lap as I just pursued the means to survive and continue havin' fun.
These other versions of me were shaped by their environments, just as I was. But I don't think they see that. They don't see how to relax.
Brittany is the freakin' fairy whisperer. Bradley's a sharp devilish killer housed by the mansion for his services. I'm homeless and I sniff fluffles…! And yet… for some reason, I feel like I'm the most relaxed of them both.
We might have the same DNA, but we've become different people.
Additionally, just recently, I've learned to let go of some of the more childish parts of my search for power. But what about these dudes, and their bigger goals? Will they ever see that truth? Will they ever get over themselves?
Let's test it out! "Well, I think you're all freakin' stoopid. Let's play Mario Party!"
Brittany was so caught off-guard she agreed! "Ooh!? Mario Party!? Hell—"
"No." Komi finished! "Hell no. Brittany, don't fucking lose track now."
"Oh— right. Shit. It's just— I haven't, um…"
"It's just nothing. Don't let this fucker get to your head."
Bradley shook his head. "I'm not playing video games with you clowns."
I held my arms out! "Why've we gotta be all aggro? Y'guys might be freakin' losers, but—"
"I'm not the loser! You are!" Bradley suddenly announced!
Brittany was bratty again! "Yeah, I was about to say, that's rich coming from this spineless hobo! I bet you haven't even bathed today."
Genkan softly interjected. "We did…"
...Bradley subtly takes a moment to sniff at his own shoulder. "You smell good," Koakuma gently affirmed. Hehaha!
"Well, I tried." Wait. "Aw, dude. We could play in traffic. Maria, smack that fluff!"
Maria gave me a neutral look! "What?"
"Gimme that fluff. I wanna eat that fluff! ...And y'know, a loaf of bread is like, a requirement to play in traffic. The fluffle cushions the impact!"
Genkan chuckled! "Shut up."
Anyway! "Nice meetin' you guys! But you're still a buncha sticks in the mud, so I'm goin' home!"
But, when I looked back, the mirror we came from was gone. Woah no, man.
"Hahaha…" Bradley brushed a black-gloved hand through his hair. "You're not gettin' outta here, coward. Not until we settle things."
Brittany sneered a twisted, regal smile. "I'll show you both the truth!"
"I'll teach the two of you some respect."
Ha-chan spoke out! "But— why!? Why can't we just be friends!?"
Bradley groaned. "Shut up, dumbass."
Brittany tittered. "Put a sock in it, cumdump!"
"Oo— oh…" Ha-chan looked intimidated!
"Then, listen to us." Maria asserted herself! "We don't mean any trouble. Let us go home."
Bradley aimed his silenced pistol at her.
"Go ahead and shoot me!" Maria yelled back! "You just talked about saving me in your world. Do you really think I buy your threat!?"
PING. He actually shot.
FWAM! Maria's energy shield flared, the bullet meant for her head. She stood there stunned, eyes snapped wide.
Bradley caught the ejected shell casing with a quick swipe of his other hand. After a pause, he cracked his neck. "Shields? Smart move. Whose idea was that?"
"Br— Brad's…?"
"Thought so." He lowered his pistol. "Anyway… you're all not the people I know. In my world, Genkan was one of the troublesome youkai I had to exterminate."
Genkan blinked! "Wait. You mean…?"
"You and Shimokoa? Yeah. I killed the both of you." He smiled widely, pointing his pistol at us. "And I can do it again. This is why you don't bring your girlfriends to your fights, Brad."
vuum. Maria began to glare again, in sync with her shield recharging. "He didn't bring us. We came with him."
"Heh..." He beamed wider. "We'll see if Brad cries or not when you're all dead, then."
Brittany stepped forward. "I won't let you kill them. They need to be taught a lesson, yes, but killing people helps neither—" he began to drag his pistol towards her head.
"Brad—" Komi barked Brittany's real name, and moved to jerk her outta the way.
PING. Komi saved Brittany's life by pulling her before Bradley fired…! Promptly, Bradley spun around three-sixty, catching a casing that flew back behind his own head.
"If you think you're better than me," Bradley bared his teeth! "Bring it on!"
"Fufufu…" Koakuma chuckled. "Go get 'em, tiger. When we head back home, we'll bake some cookies later. But for now..." She promptly just kinda vanished into the air!
...Oh, god, the floor began gettin' all wibbly wobbly! "Oh shit! Life's turnin' into a cartoon…!"
"Huh?" Maria looked down— as we all began to sink into the floor! "Woah! Hey— waaah!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We ended up in an ephemeral Voile library, fit with monochrome books of differing shades of grey.
Genkan, Maria and Ha-chan were near me. "Very… cool…" Genkan stole some of my vernacular to be sarcastic about the situation! "What happened?"
"We were pulled into the greatest metaphor of all time," I declared! "But I think somethin' gave us a more fitting battle arena than the freakin'... clocktower base.
"So…" Maria faced me! "What's the plan, Brad?"
Hmm. "Well…" Wait.
I turned around, just like— up and spun around.
Bradley was on the shelf over us. He just began to jump from the shelves.
Seeing no better option, I lunged forward and fuckin' kicked Maria in the gut! That's my plan!
"Uhf— nn!?" Maria collapsed backwards, dropping into a roll along the floor. Somewhat hilariously, she dropped her staff, and it just stood in place where she used to be…!
THOOM! Bradley landed loudly where she used to be, ribbed combat knife drawn in one hand, his silenced pistol in the other.
Swi- swish! He came at me! He drew his knife backhand twice through the air, trying to hook my face. Righting his other arm, he held his pistol at my head.
Genkan moved to grab him, but he pivoted ninety degrees after aiming to shoot at her.
PING- fwam! The shot dead between her eyes pelted her shield instead. "Ee!" She chirped, watching the sparks flare before her face.
Maria got back up, moving for her staff—
Bradley kicked the base of it, and it spun into the air. He threw the knife into the air, spun around, and grabbed Iron Beacon.
THUNK! Fwaash! He smacked Genkan across the head with it, breaking her shield—
THWACK! Fwaash! Spinning, he smashed Maria over the head with it. "Gu— aa…" Her shield broke too, oh god.
"Hraah!" Leaping into the air, he brought it down towards me with both hands!
Click! Leaping onto my back, I held my gravity boots in the air, facin' about where he'd swing the staff down…
He swung to crush me with it— only for him to get pushed away into the air entirely! As he ascended, he abandoned the staff, committing to a backward somersault through the air. A second or two later, his knife uselessly bounced to the floor beside me.
As Genkan rallied herself, I spun on the floor, using the boots to propel myself just into standing, and I ran ahead of her.
Genkan came at him! "I'm not going to let you—"
THOOM! He landed on a knee and one leg, and held his pistol up.
PING PING PING! Fwap- fwam, fwam! Standing in Genkan's way, holding my arms out, I literally took bullets for her, holy shit. These energy shields really came in handy immediately!
Maria drew her An Eternity Together— her time staff— from her backpack. "Stop!"
KA- KLINK! Ooh! She stopped Bradley!
Vuum. The air was filled with the sound of the girls' energy shields charging. Maria scrambled for Iron Beacon, while the rest of us got into positions around Bradley...
KLACK! Oh. Bradley was freed almost immediately. However, Genkan was able to approach him, her shield now fully realized.
PING PING- fwam fwam! He shot her in the head twice more, but the shield did its job! Since he hadn't seen her shield regenerate, he was fooled!
Fwish, fwish, fwish. As Genkan approached, his whole body was pulled to her left, then her right, then her left again. "Bring it on." He beckoned her with his pistol once he stopped.
And then— "Hah!" Sensing an opportunity, he leapt towards Genkan!
"Hup!" Genkan began spinning towards him, her big-ass cardboard fans held out! "Yeah!"
BAM! His knee met the side of her head. She powered through it, and leapt herself. He landed, and—
WHAM! Genkan twisted her own knee into his face. He barely flinched.
"Hraah!" Bradley adjusted his posture, and thrust an arm forward to try and grip Genkan's stomach with three gloved fingers.
"Yah!" She dropped onto a thigh, accidentally escaping his pressure point attack.
"Woohoo~!" An' then she began her ground bullshit. She spun so rapidly, pivoting along the base of her spine, her ass, and her hips. She threw her legs all around, frost kicking up in her trail.
BAM! Bradley knelt and guarded with his arms, but they were blown out of posture! "Shit!"
WHAM! Genkan spun into his legs.
WHAM- CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! His left leg repeatedly buckled, but he just snapped back into proper standing posture after every single one of Genkan's rapid strikes. Just— maintaining his casual "gun out" posture while he took incredible damage…!
Fwi- Click! Leaping overhead, I drew Hoarfrost Forecast and spun sideways through the air at him— two of the three links of my nunchuck hanger comin' at him! "Yeehaw!"
WHACK- WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM! The repeated multi-elemental strikes came down on him!
Fwish! He leapt back, dusting his arms off, heaving a sigh. "Come on! Get me!"
"Waterra!" Maria faced us, now holding Iron Beacon again, casting a spell on him!
Fluup! SPLAASH! Bradley was struck with a big ol' glob of water, just kinda taking it! "Goh!" His leg buckled again, but he righted his posture.
"Freeze!" Genkan spun into standing, spreading frost around.
FWASH! Bradley was frozen— but yeah of course not for long.
KRAACK! He flared his arms out, breaking from the ice with raw force alone. "Hguaah!"
FWISH, FWISH, FWISH. With three very aggressive motions, he'd glided through and between our party formation, focusing on Maria.
"Heyaah!" He leapt through the air, drawing a crescent through the air with his shoe's heel.
CLANG! Maria parried his attack! "Uuhn!" This entailed her getting sent twirling to her ass.
Comin' up with Hoarfrost Forecast, I flared both limbs of the tri-chuck at Bradley.
WHAP! It hit 'em across the back of the head! "Ngh!" Bracing his teeth, he began to turn to me.
WHAM! I slammed 'em across his face again!
Then he slid those three fingers towards my stomach, poking me just under the ribs.
My whole body went slack, and I laid there uselessly before him. What the fuck.
He brought his boot up— he's gonna stomp me in the dick why oh god—
Genkan came forward, and just picked 'em up, the same way she picks up me. Spinning around, she threw him through the air!
Bradley snapped into a forward roll, sprang into running out of it, did a one-eighty and ran back at Genkan with surprising speed holy shit!
FWISH! But, when Genkan tried to spin into him, he slid entirely around her.
Fwi- Click! I sat up on the floor, Red Scare drawn. "Eat shit!" Yeehaw!
FWAAAM! From it I shot a plume of hellfire at 'em!
Fwam! An energy shield flared to life!? He's got one in his suit too!? What the fuck!
BAM! He stomped me in the ribs, and holy shit that hurt! "Agh!"
From her backpack, Maria took her stun baton! "Hey! Idiot!"
Bradley looked up at her, snapping his pistol towards her with both arms.
FWAASH! Suddenly, Maria shoved the taser baton into him— and it lit his shield up, dissipating it!
PING PING- fwam, fwam! He fired into her, meeting her shield again. She doubled back, shakin' her arm around.
"Haah!" Genkan twirled towards him, flailing her right arm around in a clawing motion!
Whap! Whap! Whap! He braced each of them with just his left arm, protecting against the attack as it came at him from behind.
When I was back up, he focused on me again.
FWISH, FWISH. Swaying to my left then my right, he ended up behind me. "Hrraa~!" He leapt into the air, all of a sudden!
click- Fwish! Sliding using my gravity boots, I got beside him as he did triple fluttering kicks into the air where my head was.
FWOOM! With Red Scare, I shot fire into him!
"Ghh—" He hissed, twisting back around—
"Yee~...!" Genkan dropped onto her hips again, becoming a whirlwind of limbs and ice! "Haw!"
CRUNCH- KRKBOOM! "Hruaah!" Somehow, he was launched at me with blistering speed, flailing his limbs!
Fwi- Click! Switching to the Bawmber, I leapt into the air and punched it into him!
KABOOM! From the blast, we both went flying!
THUMP- CRUNCH- CRUNCH- CRACK! He ended up falling into Genkan's superarmored twirls, rotating in air multiple times as they kept juggling him, before he was launched from the other side of her entirely. "Ghaaa~!"
Then, despite his yelling, when he landed, he dropped into a somersault, twisted mid-roll into a sprint again, and just came at us!
Maria had Iron Beacon again, and held it high! "Fira!"
FWOAAM! A car-sized orb came out, holy shit those clothing buffs…!
FWA- BOOM! It exploded into a huge, fiery miasma before Bradley. ...But, once the flames dissipated, he walked out unharmed. Sniffing hard, he rubbed his nose with his gun hand. "What's wrong?"
Idea. "Maria! Use Waterra behind him! Genkan— go wild!"
"Waterra!" Maria responded, casting the water mortar.
"Ha-chan! Kick him!" I commanded on a delay!
"Aye aye!" Ha-chan stopped hoverin' around uselessly overhead, and prepared to kick 'em!
Bradley spun around, dropped into a kneel, and prepared shots.
PING PING PING! Three bullets roared out. Me, Genkan and Maria all took shielded headshots.
"Huuh!" He leapt, rolling through the air.
PING PING PING! This time, three shots whipped out. One struck Genkan in her shielded midsection, but the other three missed.
GLOOP! He twisted to face the exploding, car-sized water pillar behind him.
SPLOOOSH! The sheer blast from it sent him skidding back towards Genkan!
Genkan dropped to the floor, sliding under him, between his legs.
THOOM- CRACK! With a sudden thrust of her body and arms, she thrust a kick from underneath him right up his ass!
"Houh!" He barked, ascending to the air, the jugglin' beginning anew!
BAM- CRACK! His bones fuckin' kept crunching! Genkan began a spinning handstand, and the impact sent him hurtling towards me!
"Haa!" Ha-chan descended into him!
BAM- THUMP! He bounced off the floor on his stomach. "Damn it…!"
KABOOM! Running up, I uppercut him in the head with the Bawmber!
BOOM- BOOM- KABOOM! As he ascended, I rapidly bounced against the floor and his body, gaining repeated strikes on him!
"Nooo!" He let out a roaring protest as he was sent back into Genkan's handstand—
BAM! The impact of one of her forelegs sent him into a nearby bookshelf!
BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM! Her feet and forelegs met his face and jaw repeatedly, constantly ramming the back of his head into the shelf.
"Thundara~!" Maria yelled real loud, casting her magic!
THWAAASH! A huge bolt met both of them, Genkan's shield exploding from the impact!
PING! "Ghaahahaa~!?" Bradley was lit up by the magic, his limbs tightening! He accidentally ejected his pistol into the air meanwhile…
Genkan dropped onto her hips, and became a whirlwind of limbs again.
BAM- CRACK! CRUNCH- CRUNCKRK! KRK! KRK! KRK! Bradley fell to his knees, then his face, seemingly ignoring all of the terrible force Genkan was inflicting to his limbs meanwhile.
Clack! Maria tossed aside Iron Beacon, and drew her karate staff! "Hee… yah!" Comin' up to them, she thrust it into Bradley's ribs.
...After a few seconds of him just breathing on the floor, his body shuddered to life like a sputtering engine. "Aaah…" Taking a deep breath, he glided back onto his legs effortlessly. "Shieeut."
Oh my god. "How are you still moving?"
Then, I saw it.
FWAAM. Yellow light burst from his core, and his fairy wings emerged.
He drew twin pistols, twisting to face me. "Well? Come on!"
PATATATAT! I ran to the left— and a volley of gunfire came at me, five shots pattering off my shield.
Genkan's shield began to recharge. "Brad…!"
PATATATAT! He held his guns behind his head and unloaded.
Maria ducked down, crouch-walking towards him…! Genkan's breath hitched, and she hugged the shelf, avoiding the gunfire that way.
I ran at him, and he ran at me!
PATATATAT! He leapt over me, as high as I could jump with my gravity boots. He fired down, but I leapt at him in turn, passing under him.
"Aah…" He landed, aiming up at me—
THWUMP! Maria came up and rammed her staff into his dick.
He frowned just a little harder. "Pftu." An' then he spat at her face.
She dodged it, eyes wide—
THOOM! Bradley did a huge backflip, sending Maria flying when the tips of both shoes snapped up and into her chin. "Uu!" Maria's saliva flew from her mouth…!
When he was back on the floor, he glided up to Genkan on his heels in just a second.
WHAP! He pistol-whipped her, spun three-sixty completely unnecessarily, and aimed both of them at her head.
PATAT! Genkan dodged the gunfire by crouching and spinning into him with no rhythm.
whap. He was forced to cringe from the innocent spinning motion. "Uuhf…" How'd that apply hitstun to him!?
And then, Genkan copied his move, doing a massive, sudden backflip!
THWUMP! "Aagh!" Bradley went flying back, eatin' shit super hard!
BAM! He bounced off his shoulders…
THUD! And his knees.
BAM! Onto his shoulders again!
Thud. Before, finally, resting on his stomach. "Haa— aargh…"
And then, as he got back up onto one knee, he fucking glided halfway across the battlefield. "Aaah…"
When he fought to stand, he was just next to me. "Shit…" Whaddaya mean, shit? You just used getting up as a teleportation mechanic!
Abandoning her martial staff, Maria claimed Iron Beacon from nearby again. "Ugh… Fireball!"
KABOOM! Bradley stepped out of the fireball before it could go off inside him. "Heh…" Beaming back at her, he used an arm to crack his neck.
An' then I had an idea.
Fwi- Click! Drawing Hoarfrost Forecast, I channeled mana into it, and floated into the air…
As I spun around, I magnetized the hanger, and let it go into orbit around me!
PATATATAT! He fired up into me— but his bullets were consumed by the magnetism!
PATATATATATATAT! "Hyaaah!" He held both the pistols sideways like an asshole, and just unloaded!
Genkan came up to him, and grabbed him from behind. "What…!?"
And then she bent backwards, and I'd realized what she was doin'.
THOOM! Genkan suplexed him. "Huaah!" Blood ejected from Bradley's mouth.
Maria stuffed the butt of Iron Beacon into his mouth while he was on the floor. "Blizzara~!"
FWAASH! Holy shit the impact of the entire spread at once on his head was fuckin' incredible…!
Dropping outta my spin, I landed next to them. "Woah…"
Genkan snapped back into standing, throwing Bradley beside herself.
Thud! "Nngh…" He tried to get up, but just didn't. "Hoouh…"
"Dude, what is your max HP?" I really had to know! "Half of these techs would instantly kill a human if they were hit with 'em!"
Bradley chuckled. "Heheh—… I've been… workin' out…" Dude, why'd workin' out make you fire resistant…!? How many bones did Genkan have to break to make you stop moving!?
He laid to rest on the floor. ...But I'll be keeping an eye on him. Something about this just felt too damn easy.
An' then Brittany came out, clappin' her hands.
"I'm impressed. Here I'd thought you would need my help." She had a smarmy sneer. "A pity, then, that I'll have to cut your victory royale short here!" Oh my god she still makes references but they're incredibly cursed.
Maria and Genkan inhaled, all standin' ready!
"One condition." Brittany held a finger up! "...We'll do it like last time. Just me and Brad. Everyone else has to watch."
Aw yeah, yeehaw. "What if I win?"
"Then you can call yourself correct." Brittany folded her arms. "And if I win, you come with me to my world. Then, when you're ready, we'll set you back in your world to carry out nature's will."
Hoh. "I'd like to tack on another condition!"
"Hmm?"
"If I win, I get you… as a summon ability. And! ...You give me your credit card an' the three numbers on the back."
"Okay, fine." She jerked her head to an alley of shelves. "We'll fight down this aisle here. Tell me, Brad, do you know how they're sorted and organized?"
"Yep." I lied.
"...How?"
"Very carefully."
Brittany gave me a serene look. "I fucking hate you. I'm going to kill you." Wahaha!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Brittany stood at the other end of the hall, an ornate greathanger slung over her shoulder.
"I hope you don't have like ten gallons of health like the other fuckin' asshole…!" Seriously, Bradley was built different. What'd he do!? ...Is it 'cause he actually eats!? And eats good!?
"No. I just have ten gallons of mana instead." Brittany smiled a sickly smile.
Fwi- Click! I drew Nikkou and Nari, the dual-elemental sun and thunder gauntlets! "Alright, son."
"Alright…" Brittany closed her eyes… and when she opened them, they were new colors.
Fwoosh! She took to the air. "Korinda Ray. Flamberge! Essence of Darkness!"
VRRRR! A cage of sunlight rays erupted around me—
FWOOSH! She threw her stock greathanger at me, and it became a spinning blade of flame.
Fwaam! Light formed a shell around Brittany's form, and when it shattered… she looked really different. Wait…
Oh, no way. She swapped out for Komi.
SHI- Krack! The moment the flame blade came at me, I parried it with Nikkou. The greathanger went bouncing away from me, still on fire…!
Komi descended, swirling around me. Dark energy expanded from the floor in clumps. Her black hair whipped around, her black-white maid outfit fluttering.
Suddenly, unavoidably, my legs were enveloped by the black. My vision was obscured by clouds of black shit, and I was forced to kneel. The cage of sun-like lasers around me dissipated while I sat there.
"Hahaha!" Komi emerged from the darkness with a whip! "Cry!"
Krack! But I could still use my arms! Flailing Nikkou around, I kept guarding the whip's impacts!
KRACK! "Ouch!" That one hit me though!
Krack! Krack! I parried two more, and she thought of a change a' plans.
"Ugh! I'm done with you!" She leered, and brought her maid shoe into the air, intent on stepping on my crotch with it.
Krack! I parried that too! "Hooh…!" Thank goodness she telegraphs everything she does!
Stumbling back, Komi seethed. "You're awful. How fucking dare you take me lightly!? If you had to do, what I had to do, you'd be fucking dead!"
SKRISH! Her nails extended out, but instead a' just becoming claws, the luminescent bands stretched offa' her hands like lasers!
The lasers all circled around me, drawing a halo-like pattern of energy rings that kept me from goin' anywhere. Just, in a big ol' circle that'd make a cute pattern if you looked down on it from above. Bind skills, y'gotta love 'em! I see Komi still has strangely support-oriented techniques!
"Hooh!" Komi thrust towards me, flying over her lasers, ready to kick me in the face!
SHI- Krack! Parrying her heel, I disarmed her foot of its shoe!
"Ah..." Her skirt flared up from the windy impact! "Hyah!" However, this was a trap, and she spun around, using the same leg for a mid-air roundhouse!
SHI- Krack! "C'mon!" Beaming, I parried that too, all 'cause I saw it coming!
"Mmh!" Landing after failing the roundhouse, she— drew a pair of nunchucks, oh god! "Block this!"
Krack! So I blocked the first hit—
WHAP! Ohp— she swung it way too fast to block the second hit fuck!
WHAP- WHAP! Aaaa! That fuckin' hurt! Holy shit! Nunchucks to the head suuuck!
Dropping to the ground, I rolled a whole fuckin' lot to get under her laser pattern. After doing like eight really shitty rolls to get past them, I ended up on my back.
Komi put her stocking-clad foot down on my chest. "Brad. Give up." This situation was somehow familiar…
Because of how she balanced her weight on me, I couldn't get up. "That's right," she smirked. "Trapped ya."
"Ooh. But what if…"
Reaching down for her foot, I used Nikkou's blade to slit the back of her ankle.
"Fff— aaa!" Komi grit her teeth and bared it! "You—"
BAM! When I began sawing her leg like a log, she stomped my face! "Stop that! You damn clown—"
SHI- Krack! Nikkou parried the second stomp!
"Woah…!" Komi began to stagger back, her balance betrayed when her foot met an opposing force.
Rolling onto my back, I flicked on my gravity boots. Leaping to my feet, I ascended!
When I was in the air, she looked up. I descended towards her, and—
KASHUNK! When I landed, I crossed Nikkou and Nari's blades, stabbing them into either shoulder at the base of her neck.
Wrapping my legs around her, we ended up getting thrown upside-down!
THOOMP! We landed, Komi on her back, my gauntlet's edges embedded in her collar.
Shish. Drawing the gauntlet blades back outta her collar, I stepped back. Man— I dunno, I don't like actually stabbing people with these! Feels very weird!
Pi~chun! Oh! She… popped. But when she was gone, Brittany was there on the floor.
"Mmn…" Suddenly, she was on her shoulders, and she spun her legs into a whirlwind of force. After a second, she rotated her body back into standing, before ascending into the air. "Essence of Destruction!"
Fwaam! With another surge of energy, Brittany's features became pure orange, and she was swapped out for Koi.
"Hehehe!" She became Koi! "Hi! I'm Koi-chan!"
...At first, Koi didn't do anything. I stood there ready to guard, and Koi just swayed back and forth eventfully, inciting her boobs to subtly jiggle with each toss of her hips.
"Fluffles are eventful," I told her.
"Huh?" She was clueless, dude. "...They are." She agreed with me! "Anyway, hey Brad. I know Komi was all evil mode, but do you think we can just… play a different game?"
"Oh? An' what game is that?"
"We fuck, an' whoever's too tired t'keep goin' loses."
Son. "Y'know, the Koi from this world's about as desperate as you are."
"I bet she is! 'Cause sex is so much fun! And honestly? I think Bratty-chan just wants to show you that. 'Cause you have your girlfriend yeah, but you like, can't imagine actually having casual sex, can you?"
"It's really not my style!"
"Exactly! That part!" Koi pointed at me! "Why don't you just let go already? Have fun! ...With me! It doesn't have to be a subby-dommy thing like what Bratty likes. We can just have fun."
"I am not into competitive sex!" I refused! "I am not a sex midfielder! I'mma sex defender!"
"Aw. Damn." She pouted.
"Also I'm absolutely sick of all of the horny people. Like, me and Koi had this moment today: what do you even see in me? That's what I asked her." For our Koi she was just possessed by the literal spirit of assfuck— by which I mean, nature's influence!
With a big smile, Koi shrugged. "I mean, I'd rather make love, not war!" Oh my god. "Right? But also, I know Bratty-chan, and since you're the same person almost, I know you'd be a lotta fun. If only you were just down for it."
Actually, since Koi was up to talk, I had a question for her. "What's Bratty doin' right now?"
"Oh! She's letting me play for her!" Koi gave me a peace sign, posing with authority! "Because she's not very good at one-on-one combat!"
"Yeah, but like, I thought this was gonna be me and her. Not me and her entire new extended family." I say this, but I'm still technically fighting each of them one at a time… so this is still to my advantage more or less!
"Yeah? Well…"
"What if she fought Genkan one-on-one, huh? Ya think she can do that?"
"Probably not." Koi-chan's clueless smile hid a deceptive cleverness. "Why aren't you like us, then?"
"Hoh?"
"Why aren't you fighting with your friends right now?"
Ah. I see her angle. "'Cause… I trust myself."
"Aah. No whining if you lose then, 'kay? Even if you've gotta be dragged to our place kicking and screaming."
"Kickin' and screaming? You'd do that t'me?"
Koi looked uncannily determined. "Yeah. Your voice will run out eventually." Damn.
KABOOM! And then she fuckin' exploded!
Emerging from the blast, she hung in the air overhead. Her wings were massive, bright, and more than those two things, fuckin' loud! They were like jet thrusters! She did a backward flip in the air like a jet would too.
"Unlike this world's fairy…" Koi's voice was audible across the whole aisle somehow. "I'm not an idiot."
WOOSH, WHIISH, VRRR! She flew around in the air, her thrusters gaining power as she rocketed around in the sky above.
That's when the hair on the back a' my neck stood on end. Under the warm orange glow of the neon, luminescent light she cast, I felt warm. Sorta like I was before a seasonal fireplace, in a comfy home. Just… at ease. It was so weird. It was such a weird time to feel cozy.
"Koi-chan, on cruise control!" Koi began to line up with the aisle of shelves I was in, dipping down from the air. "Line 'em up… knock 'em dooown!"
Level with the ground, she roared towards me. "Hahaha! I'm Koi-chan! Nice to meet you!" She rotated mid-air, spreading her legs out, ready to tackle me panties-first. "Be my boyfriend!"
KABOOMBOOMBOOMBAMBOOM! Explosions roared behind her, as she came at me like an unstoppable force. It was a real ridiculous attack, I gotta give 'er credit for that!
Nikkou flared pure white, and I took the posture to punch her straight into Koi. This indescribable, comfy warmth enveloped me.
KRA— THOOM. I punched straight through Koi.
thud, thud! Koi's limp body flopped around on the ground before me, her thrusters stalling and sputtering.
Staring at her now-deflated form on the ground was weird.
fwiish. The orange light rescinded into Koi's form, and after it dissipated, she was Brittany again.
"Fuuck…" Her eyes were teary, and she began to sit up. "Koi-chan… what happened? Ugh…"
"When y'see her again, tell Koi that I agreed to this duel to show you all somethin'. Tell Koi that having friends doesn't mean you've got a license to be an asshole."
Brittany groaned. "Uugh. The fact you would set your friends aside at all is telling."
"'Cause I don't need my friends to prove me right."
Brittany gained a snotty expression again. "And what if I fucked you up? Who's right then?"
"Fucking me up won't undo your own problems."
Her brows twitched. "What problems? I smell projection…"
"I don't need to show off the bonds we share to impress you. You're already defensive about all this. If you were really better at it than me, you wouldn't need anybody to appeal to me. You wouldn't give me bad offers. You wouldn't come off like an asshole. So tell me why the fairies call you Bratty-chan?"
Brittany bristled. "What a smartass you are." Rich comin' from her! "As they say, your network is your net worth… and I take that quite literally. That's why you are so inferior to me. That's why you deserve to be dragged to my realm, kicking and screaming. To submit to your true nature!"
She ascended into the air! "Come to me! Essence of Wisdom!"
SPISSHH! Oh shit! She became a small nuclear reaction in the air! Woah no…!
FWAASH! She became Namori, the quiet, blue-haired fairy maid.
"Mmm…" She held her arms out, and— oh, god. Two massive wings flared out from her back.
Like Koi, she didn't begin with a fight. She descended before me, landing, holding a big decorative staff. Unlike Komi or Koi, she's… stupidly tall. She's three meters tall.
"Why does being evil always feel so damn good?" She had a pristine smile, bringing a gloved hand to her own face.
"Hoh?" Hello, friend. "What's your story?"
"I'm only going to ask you this once, Brad." Namori's voice was full of authority. "Do you like the life you currently live?"
"...Yeah!?" Oh boy.
"Thunderbolt!"
Knowing how Maria cast that spell before, I held Nari, the purple gauntlet, up to face the sky.
SHI- Krack! When the explosion of lightning came down to smite me, I parried that shit! A flash of pink light erased the spell!
"Ah." Namori blinked! "...How annoying."
I grinned back at 'er! "Sorry, I thought that was my taser."
Smiling, she shook her head! "Are you sure you can trust Genkan?"
"Yeah." Woohoo!
"Maria?"
"Yeah, enough."
"Hana?"
"Yeah, enough!" I mean, maybe not as much as Genkan, but I do trust 'em both to save me in a pinch.
"Then why did you not let them come here?"
"'Cause I trust myself too."
Namori's mouth hung open.
"That's what I keep trying to tell you assholes. But I don't wanna even sound like I'm braggin' about it. It's not something you brag about. It's something you just do. But Brittany's so pathetic that talking about it like it's a flex makes it bragging!"
Namori closed her eyes…
fwiish. And, she dispelled herself. Brittany drifted closer to the floor, eyes shut. "Huh…?"
"Look…" I lowered my arms. "This is stupid. Don't you get it yet? We're just different, okay? It's okay if we're different!"
"But…!" She began to glare again! "Your way of living—"
"If I'm so wrong, let me make my mistakes and learn from them myself!"
Her brows twitched. "But…"
"I don't live in a world where Komi or Sakuya are there to watch and rate my every move. The Sakuya that I know wouldn't even want to do that, because she knows who I am now. Because I've become much more of a person than the me who first walked into Gensokyo. An' here you are, trying to take that from me, just as the fairies took it from you."
"Nn…" She wanted to protest, but she knew I was right.
"And you might think it was amazing. You might get off to that sorta thing…" I put my arms on my hips. "But not everyone shares your freakin' lifestyle-encroaching fetish."
"What… what's wrong with living like that?"
"Nothing. It's just not the path I'm walking. I know I could have been you. An' that's okay. I don't need to hold a fuckin' cosmic conquest correcting everything that could have been. That… is not wise. Wisdom is the ability to understand others."
She stared at the floor. "But…"
"You might theorize that I would have enjoyed it… but be fuckin' patient, okay? You haven't lived as me. You don't see what I see. The way you undersell me to start with is reflective of the way you undersell yourself. Understanding that, and working on it? That's wisdom."
"Who— who are you… to lecture me?"
Hoh. "Who are you to like gettin' lectured?"
"I'm a high rank maid. I'm popular. I don't need lectures anymore…"
I shook my head. "Stop bein' so damn prideful. Those achievements never meant anything on their own. They only mean something if they represent something… and if all they represent to you is the image of the achievement, then you've failed."
She looked at the floor. It shows in the way she herself fights too. She has the power available, but not the imagination. She lets other people drive her entirely. I can't even tell her to "grow up" because for some people, becoming a pathetic dependent is growing up. It's not a good kind of growing up, but it is.
"I'll stop fighting if you will," I told her.
"...Fine."
I wouldn't have been any less wrong if I'd lost. It'd be an inconvenient adventure, but I would've made them see how I really felt. That kind of resolve would scare Komi and her fun gang. 'Cause I wouldn't have fun like that. I'd constantly fight back. Deep down, that's not what they want. They're not Bradley. They wouldn't wanna kill me over my way of life. They weren't that cowardly.
I looked down at myself, and saw a blue energy rolling from my center. My fairy wings were out, alive with blue light.
Brittany pouted up at me. "Just don't call me cute, okay?"
Son. "That was not in the cards at all. We were literally the same person at one point, do not even insinuate anything…!"
Brittany sighed. "Look, if you met another of yourself, why wouldn't you help yourself masturbate?"
"That's not a question we should answer!"
Thump! Oh! The actual Namori flopped against one a' the shelves behind me. "Guys…!"
Komi ran up behind her—
PING! Pi~chun! A silenced bolt struck her in the head, killing her instantly.
Uh oh. "Yo! Uh…"
Namori came for us— but Bradley was right around the corner! And, oh god, he had a fuckin' shotgun…!
Blam, chi- chik! He shot a volley at us— but Namori was just ahead of us, so she ate basically all of it.
Pi~chun! Oh, shit, it killed her immediately.
"Oh…" Brittany inhaled. "Crap…"
I held an arm up! "Hello, Bradley."
"Shut the fuck up." Woah no! "I'm gonna kill the both of you, and then we'll be done."
"Did…" Brittany spoke up! "Did you kill his friends…?"
Bradley snorted. "...No. That damn snow woman was too much trouble. But her base movement speed is really slow because of the weapon you gave her, so she couldn't catch up to me when I took off. And Maria… I let her go."
I can't believe Genkan's base movement speed was really slow. "Hoh…"
"My business is with you two idiots." I dunno why Bradley seemed to talk with such deliberation. Wait… he uses my formal voice all the time, that's why! The one I never use, because I'm in Gensokyo an' there's no reason to use it!
Hooh. "An' I don't suppose there's any way for us to talk this out?"
He held up his shotgun! "Go to hell." Guess not!
"Um…" Brittany tapped on my shoulder! "If I get hit by that, I'll probably die."
"...Yeah." This is true!
"If I give you buffs, will you go crazy for me so I can get out of here?"
"Sure…!?" I wondered! "Are these buffs good enough for shotgun blasts!?"
"Maybe?"
Whaddaya mean, maybe!? Actually… wait. "Can't you like, fly?"
"Yeah?"
Ooh, well that settles that. "Then carry me!"
"Huh? Carry you?"
"Yeah!"
"I… don't think I have the body strength for that."
What…! How come you didn't "work out" like Bradley here apparently did!?
"Let me use my magic on you." Brittany closed her eyes. Ooh, okay.
This better be good. She's the support of her party, even moreso than me in mine, so…!
Fwish. Pink-purple light flared from Brittany, her fairy wings twitching. "Go forth, Brad! Um… do your thing, I guess!?" Yeah man, a very hearty war cry.
I just gave 'er a look! She shrugged! "I don't know, whenever I give the fairies pep talks, it's really easy! With you it's just… awkward."
After a moment, she began actually channeling magic.
As I stepped forward towards Bradley, a yellow protective sphere began to form around me. Ooh… this's pretty bright.
Soon enough, it was just me and Bradley, stepping towards one another.
"I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck." Bradley put power behind that Duke Nukem quote!
"I'm gonna feed you fluffles." They're despicable… and soft.
He snorted.
Blam, chi- chik! He fired the shotgun straight at me. My energy shield flared to life, but wasn't broken.
Blam, chi- chik! With the second volley, my shield broke, ah fuck—
KRZZT— FWRAR.Oh—… oh.
Brittany ubercharged me. Oh my god.
Blam, chi- chik! Bradley fired at me again, but I just walked on up to him, immune to all damage. Holy shit…
Reaching down, I grabbed one of Bradley's legs, and pulled him forward like he was a ragdoll. He fell back onto his ass.
Blam, chi- chik! He fired from the floor, and the shotgun flew from his arms. "Shit…" I walked over him, my body flaring all colors of the rainbow. My energy shield began recharging while I was invincible.
WHAM! I used both Nikkou and Nari to punch both sides of his head. Flaring them back out in an X-shape, I sliced both of their blade bits across his face.
"Gnngh!" He shielded his head to avoid gaining edgy scars, and began to claw at the floor…
And then, my invulnerability ran out!
WHAM! Immediately, he just stood back up and punched me in the gut. "Uuhf!" Really hard.
He crouched down, and— what the fuck—
WHOOM! His wings flared out, and he flew forward in the air stiff as a plank, ramming me in the gut with his head like a fuckin' torpedo!
As I tried to get back up, he dropped to his knees and spun in a circle on the floor, sweepin' my leg out from under me and sending me onto my ass. "Son…"
SHI- SHI- SHINK! Before I could get up again, he lunged forward, and rapidly shishkebob'd my side with two combat knives. By the way holy shit ouch—
"Heal!" Brittany cast heal from atop a shelf nearby!
Fwoash! Oh! Woah! S'a pretty good heal!
SHI- SHI- SHINK! As I got back up he kept doin' it oaaaagh—
"Heal!"
Fwoash! Okay! We're standing again!
He grabbed me, by the neck. He held a gun to my chest.
PING! Aaaagh! "Just give up and die!"
"Heal!"
Fwoash! I see how it is. This is how I'm levelling with his max HP. Healing a lot like an asshole. Yeah, that's pretty typical RPG design…
He had both pistols out. I reached out and grabbed onto both arms.
WHAM! He was the first to headbutt. "Ghn!" My head spun, the both of us shiftin' around.
Dropping down, I slid under him.
PATATATAT! He unloaded both pistols, failing to catch me. He spun around—
"Hup!" I leapt overhead!
PATATATATAT! His arms followed me, just missing, and I landed on his other side again—
PATAT! Kra- Krack! With Nikkou, I parried his double-tap, having expected it from a mile away.
My shield began to recharge again-
PING! PING! Kra- Krack! He went for two headshots, and I parried those, seein' him raise his guns.
Pocketing the pistols, he drew the shotgun again! "Block this!"
Blam- Krack! Somehow, I did! I feel like the boxes on that were surprisingly generous…!
From his pocket, he drew a molotov. Tossing the shotgun aside, he flicked a match and lit it up. He tossed it at my feet, but I swooced in to block it!
Krack! This time with Nari, I parried it. Yeah okay, the molotov glass is also a magic-enough attack to qualify. As a result, the molotov was deleted, the napalm arcing into the air and vaporizing into electricity.
"What the fuck…" Bradley was very surprised!
"C'mere, son." I began to perform retarded quickstep-lookin' motions towards him!
He drew his dual pistols again, eyes wide.
PATATATATATATATAT! Kra- Kra- Kra- Krack! Holy shit, he's lettin' me grind…!
After that volley, he sighed. "You can't stall destiny. You're supposed to die here tonight."
I cracked my neck! "C'mon. Come get me!"
His glare flared.
PATAT- PATAT! PATAT- TAT! PATAT! Oh shit he's aiming in new places—
Fwiish! My shield breaks, and I find myself guarding just my head and my heart.
Shing- Shing! Each guard performed is imperfect 'cause I'm just holding them, and— ah fuckin' aagh! Aagh!
PING! PING! PING! He starts loadin' my form up with bullet holes.
"Heal!"
PATATATATATAT! He unloads on all of my exposed flesh. I feel my bones splinter, my guts pierced, my balanced sent staggering. He yelled, "Haaaa~!"
"Nnngh!"I heaved back.
"Heal!"
Maria looked over the edge of the shelf, where Brittany was. "Brad!"
PATATATATATATAT! My body's getting torn apart holy shit—
"Heal!"
"Brad…!" Genkan's finally at the end of the aisle.
PATATATATATATAT! How much ammo does one assassin man need holy shit!? What're you assassinating, the entire U.S. armed forces…!?
"Heal…!" Brittany thrust her arm up again, casting more magic.
I didn't have the power to finish this fight. But, funnily enough, he didn't either.
The carpet was red with a meters-long line of my blood. He shot at my guarded bits repeatedly, so no matter what I did, I had to keep guarding. I couldn't move.
PATATATATATAT! Jesus Christ…
"Heal!"
"Brad…" Genkan's mouth was ajar.
"Thundara! Waterra…!" Maria was casting spells!
The lightning came down, the huge water glob rained down, but Bradley wasn't staggered by any of it, despite the way his own body flinched when struck.
PATATATATAT! "Heal!"
"Fira! Thunder!"
PATATATATAT! "Heal!"
"Fireball…! Thunderbolt!"
PATATATATAT! "Heal!"
Bonk! Ha-chan descended, kicked him in the head, but his posture didn't break.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Hoh? Am I dead yet? Did I get murdered…!?
...Nah. This ain't the Sanzu. This isn't anything.
"Look, I know I said I wouldn't bother you. But…"
Nikkou, the blonde Samus Aran-lookin' fairy in her fuckin' greek-ass cloth stuff, sat before me. She stood up on her bare feetsies, standing… taller than me, because she was like seven feet tall.
"First of all, I wanted to say sorry. For threatening to kill your friends after subjugating you. For trying to steal you."
This's a hell of a time to apologize! "Hoh… apology accepted!"
"No, apology not accepted." What!
I grinned! "Apology… pending?"
"Please listen, human. Answer me this: what is the purpose of power?"
"None." Gone. "...More specifically— I don't think it has a purpose. Strength is a tool. When it comes to ideals, strength is just a way to make changes. Whether those changes are good or not… that entirely depends."
Nikkou furrowed her brows. "...In all my years, I don't think I've ever heard it put quite like that. Then again," she stared at the floor, "I'm rather shy, actually."
Oh? "You're shy?"
"Yeah. Whenever I'm confronted, I shell up and become prideful. I start comparing our strengths. When I realize I'm stronger, I believe I'm just better, and that puts me at ease. Yet… it's never quite that simple, is it? There are some problems you can't solve with fists."
Yeah. "Earlier, like yesterday, me and Genkan came to a compromise about the way we liked to explore, and what we really wanted. Never woulda put her at ease if I was that obsessed with other things. In fact, that was the very thing she was afraid of."
"Really…?" Nikkou sat down on the floor, folding her legs. "Obsessed?"
"Yeah. With gaining power and safety. But the other layer to it was that Genkan was sort of a little obsessive about her own idea of how to spend a holiday… and when she didn't quite get what she wanted in that moment, she almost wanted to fight for it, before she realized it wasn't worth fighting for and she was just looking at it wrong."
Nikkou pointed at me. "That's what I'm scared of. Looking at it wrong. I know I was cruel to you, and in the moment I could rationalize it as the spoils of your weakness. Yet..."
I shook my head. "You can be cowardly and still have the courage to face fears. Sometimes that cowardice is the strategy required to take on a greater foe. Or do you forget what it's like to be a smaller fairy? I know you guys don't grow up, and I don't know how the gods worked. However..."
"Well, why should I know what it's like to be small?"
"'Cause if you did, your strength may have more meaning, it may be true strength. Without that perspective, you might be taking your gifts for granted. That's why you're cruel."
"And— and how the fuck do you, some random human, know that?"
"I figured it out just now!"
"How does it make me more cruel?"
"Because, if you're taking your gifts for granted, those who don't have them are even more worthless than they'd be otherwise. Like you can't comprehend it. While you're honest and loud, you're also an asshole."
Sittin' down next to her, we just kinda chilled out together in the void of communications. Y'know, this place is kinda comfy!
"Seeing your struggle has awoken something in me." She stared right into my eyes, her own pulsing orange-yellow eyes gazing intensely. "...But I don't know what."
Power. Courage. Wisdom. Otherwise known as: ability, desire and reason.
I've been coasting towards the ability to make things happen… but the final thing that will grant me real power, will be actually committing.
My time with Shou, Tewi, Meiling and other people who tried to teach me martial arts? Completely worthless. Not through any fault of their own, but because I wasn't willing to sit down and listen in a better way.
Gensokyo has many sights to see, all which appease boredom in the best ways possible. But to master magic, to master anything, you need to put in time. Like, Maria actually goes to Patchy and studies magic. Genkan, while a snow being by birthright, spent many years alone being frosty.
That's not to say I've done nothing either. Genkan, Maria and Gensokyo have taught me a lot about people, a lot about what's really important in life. Few people come as far as this, even. This was all apparent when I fought with Brittany.
Y'know, it's funny! Fightin' Bradley makes me feel like I'm Brittany a little, but fighting Brittany makes me feel like I'm Bradley!
Identifying and embracing change is what makes you strong. I just gotta embrace the right changes… and I think I'm ready to do that too. I think I know what they are. Gensokyo's denizens all make good role models for that, in their own ways. Hell, even Genkan and Maria have plenty to teach me in that regard.
Imagining better ways involves comparing yourself to others, not to be depressed about what they can do that you can't, but to be invested in why they do things their way. Then, maybe, one day you can act that way yourself, to fold some of their personality into your own style. Just like how Genkan's started to become more playful around me.
Nikkou pointed at me. "That. That's what I want. You put it perfectly."
"Son." I thought this was a private conversation between me and myself!
"Well, it's not. I want to imagine things better. But… I'm just a dumbass fairy. I just am. I can't imagine what you see in your lover, or your friends, or even why you do what you do. But I want to be a little more like you. Because… you humans seem a little more anything than we fairies are."
Huh. "That's funny, 'cause you've got things I want too."
Nikkou jerked her head back! "Huh? Like what?"
"You're a beautiful sun god avatar who can project sun energy and fly. If only I could drive you around for a day, I could get up to so much shit as you. You might be an asshole, but if you weren't being a dick you could be a fun asshole. That's the thing, right? That's why people are attracted to assholes. They can see their potential. And you, Nikkou, have infinitely more potential than most humans ever will."
"And I can't fucking act on any of it."
"An' you can't fucking act on any of it. So I kinda wanna act on it for you. Meanwhile, if you were me, you'd probably just break down and cry. No joke. Because all the things I live for are things I don't think you could ever adapt to face, and that's a damn shame in my opinion."
"...Then, we're in agreement." She scooted closer to me.
I met her eyes again after having trailed her figure with my gaze. She was really close! "I've got an offer. You're only getting it once, so listen well." Hoh?
"Offer?" Since she didn't follow up, I tilted my head to show I was listening!
"You may be me." Huh? "You are allowed to… control me."
"I'm sorry?"
"I'm giving you permission to do what you just said. Be me. Show me how to live." Her face began to redden. "Don't you dare fucking laugh. This… this is the most change I'm comfortable allowing, okay? I might not learn much, simply watching… but I just can't think of a better way."
"Why uh... do you wanna do this so bad?" I was curious.
"Because…" She shook her head. "I'm not just about strength. I wanna… be a role model. I want to be someone other people look up to, not just as a monster, but as a warm, loving figure. Like the sun itself."
I see. "But you don't have a damn clue."
"Not one. But Genkan, that mage girl, even other idiots, they look up to you when you don't even have a healthy body weight. Show me where this strength comes from, boy."
I gave 'er a smile. "Why the hell not?" I held out my hand to shake on it!
...It took her a moment to realize the gesture! "Ah, right. Americanisms."
We shook on it. And geez, her grip was a lot stronger…!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
FWAAM!A shockwave of wind, not unlike that kind unleashed when a greater fairy dies, explodes around me.
"Ah…" Bradley stopped firing, taking a few steps back. "God…" I think the heat was too much for him!
Radiant, sun-like wings expanded from my body. Looking down, I saw my camouflage kimono now hiding the sun fairy's two huge tits. Read: moderately-sized boobage, but now that I have boobs at all I must call them humungo.
I'm also a head taller! ...An' it shows 'cause I'm a head taller than Bradley over there.
"I~..." Dude, her voice can be so loud. "Have become…!"
I struck a pose! "Samus Aran!" Her voice was nothing like mine. I could feel it in her own chest. So much warmth and power!
Bradley blinked twice, before he began to raise his guns again!
Fwish! Quick-steppin' up to him, I grabbed onto either wrist.
He tried to headbutt me, but I smothered 'em in Samus' tits instead! "Hah!" With a tug, I threw him to the ground, forcing him to drop his guns!
He stood back up immediately, and came at me for the fisticuffs!
BAM! Sunlight wrapped my left fist as I punched him right in the gut!
WHAM! When my mind shifted to actual fist-fighting, Nikkou took over, automating my movements and applying her favorite hand-to-hand combo. She followed up with a punch to his collar, forcing his leg to buckle.
THOOM! The third strike was a cross punch straight to his gut, forcing him to cringe.
FWAM- FWAM- FWAM! Ascending to the air, Nikkou used my gravity boots to spin around rapidly, a repeated spinning leg sweep.
"Uuh!" After the three punches broke his resolve, the triple leg sweep ragdolled him, sending him rolling away like a freakin' noob.
Reachin' down, I picked 'em up by his collar, floating into the air! Oh, right, Nikkou would be angry about this. "You—…"
Her mind auto-completed that to "wretched mortal". Uuh, no.
"You fucking noob." Yeah!
Slap! Nikkou forced our own arm to punch us in the face! I kept hold on Bradley with just my right arm, while he struggled.
He scrambled around, tryin' to hit me with his legs, doing anything to break the collar hold.
SHUNK! He plowed a knife into Nikkou's gut. Reaching down, I took it out. The wound healed on its own. Ooh…
With my fiery angry-woman energy, I held my face close to his! "I'm gonna— give you a farmer's tan, sunshine."
"Fuck you!" He spat in my face, yo! Dude…!
"Hrrah!" I threw him over my shoulder, while we were meters in the air!
BOOM! He landed, bouncing off the edge of a book shelf, before landing on his stomach a few more meters down. Holy crap. "Aagh…"
Floating down, Nikkou herself was actually legitimately pissed so she forced me to summon orbs of sunlight in my hands! "I will rip out your—" Soul? Nah hol' up, "Soles! I'm gonna steal your shoes!" Yeah!
He used his legs to spring back into standing! What a chad, dude.
FWAM! FWAM! FWAM! FWAM! We shot sun orbs at 'em! I dunno what they physically do, but they're all glowy!
"Ngh! Uuh!" They just seemed to push 'em around and let out shockwaves. He tanked all of 'em like he normally does, doing some kinda fuckin' tap-dancing routine to change which buckling leg was the one he was standin' on.
Landing on his level, I made Nikkou hold her arm up. "I summon you! Come to my aid!"
Before us, a big ol' green warp pipe sprung from the ground. Yeah, dude!
"Here we go~!" His voice yelled out in sync with him leapin' out! Yeah, I summoned fuckin' Mario!
Bradley held his gloved fists up, scramblin' back!
Pop! When Mario leapt, he shot a fireball!
fwish. I think Bradley is just fire immune for some reason, he just no shit tanked that. "Bring it on…!" He looked excited to fight Mario!
That's when Mario did his down-A Mario Cyclone. "Yahoo~!"
WHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAP! Very quickly, the rapid hits broke through Bradley's defenses, and he just took 'em.
WHAM! The final hit sent him flyin'! "Wahaa~!" Mario posed where he stopped, full of life!
Leaping through the air, Nikkou imitated the Mario Cyclone! "Hehe! Hell yeah!" She didn't do this towards anything, she just replicated it because it looked fun in the heat of the moment!
Drawing more pistols, guess he just had more, he aimed asynchronously at Mario an' me!
PINGPING! PINGPING! PING! As you'd expect, his accuracy went to shit.
THWAP! Oh, he hit me. "Nngh!" Nikkou walked it off, and it healed up!
"Waha!" Mario leapt clear over him. Bradley looked up to try and track 'em, but that's where we came in!
WHAM! "Hrah!" Nikkou threw a high-kick, hittin' him in the chin and launching him! Damn— that feels so weird. Why's Nikkou so flexible!?
BAM- CRACK! Mario landed on 'em as he flew, sending him back down!
Following up, I grabbed 'em by his ankles as he fell! "Hrrr…" We spun around, and threw 'em!
As he spun through the air, he aimed both pistols at Mario.
PATATATAT! He unleashed 'em, but…
Fwish! Mario threw his neon yellow cape out.
Thwap- thwap! Bradley was struck outta the air by his own bullets. "Nghrrh!"
When he landed, uneasily fighting to his feet, I was there.
Nikkou took him by the back of his scalp, and just knelt.
BOOM! We smashed him face-first against the carpet floor, a shockwave of blood exploding out from the impact.
Scratch, scratch, scrrrrk! Nikkou dragged his face around, scraping it damn hard on the carpet. Holy shit, that bloody smear...
"You done?" I asked him.
"I'mh— ngh…" I raised his face from a bloody, carpet fiber-polluted puddle. "You—…"
Rip! When I stood up, I yanked back on his hair, ripping some out. He was tugged into kneeling on both knees from the sheer force. Oh my god…!
Faced with his bloody, miserable expression, I clicked my tongue. "Aa—" But I was interrupted!
"Ho ho! That's a' so nice!" Okay, Mario…!? "Bye bye!" He gave us a thumbs-up, an' then disappeared!
...After we paused, we looked back down at Bradley man here.
"Just…" he sighed, blood running down his face. "Jus' fuckin'... do whatever, man…"
I knelt before 'em, putting my arms on his shoulders, ready to give 'em the talk. "Buddy?" Ooh. How weird. I said "son" but Nikkou auto-corrected it to something more like what she'd say. "Let me ask you something."
His brows were raised, all wispy.
"Why did you bother?"
He only became more questioning, gazing up at us with a clueless, pain-numbed face.
"Why go this far?"
"Because…" Bradley found focus to his glare, his body still burning with bright yellow heat. "If I didn't make a stand… against myself… I wouldn't be brave. It would be an insult… to Koa. To who I've become…"
Shakin' my head again, I sighed. "Sometimes it's okay to follow your desires too. It's good to make sacrifices and compromises… but it's also good to look out for yourself. And I can't tell you what the right path is for every situation. That all depends on how you really feel, and what that decision will mean for you."
"Why…" he wiped his bloody nose on his sleeve, "Why do you fight? What do you have to prove?"
"You were threatening to kill me. I had nothing to prove. Hell… all I've had to do is kill you back. And that might not've even been so hard. But that's not my way of doing things."
He began to lean onto his side, as if to flop over. I got on my knees, supporting him so he didn't collapse.
"But I do feel compelled… to tell ya you're a coward. That's why I didn't kill ya. You're trying too damn hard. I'll admit y'got some pretty cool one-liners, but give it a rest. Use 'em where it really matters. Not just to puff your chest out and look tough."
And then I let 'em collapse. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "Well… damn." He smiled.
Nikkou forced our body to feel at my shoulders. "By the way. We found these shielded jackets in a pit. Behind a dumpster. Covered in shit. They were my friends' only defense."
I say that, but I leapt before Genkan to take bullets for her when her shield was down. We were one another's defense too.
He stared at me from the floor.
I continued, "You're right. I would have been crying if you'd killed my friends. And you're right, I couldn't stop you from killing them personally. But killing them wouldn't make you not a little bitch. Sorry to break it to ya."
He grinned. "Would make you a little bitch, though…"
"Sure." I nodded. "That a bad thing?"
"Of course... that's a bad thing. That'd be the first thing I'd do to—"
"Have you ever fucking loved anyone before, man?" Nikkou and I spoke as one. "That you can't even fucking imagine what you put other people through? Take a fucking break and rethink your life."
He beamed. "I don't fucking need other people like you!"
I smiled back down. "I don't need other people. I want other people. Big fucking difference. Even if you killed my friends, that's just bad damn luck. It wouldn't undo your problems."
"My problems?"
"Yeah. The real thing I have over you and fairy boy-girl-whatever-they-are is how I receive others. That's it. That's why Nikkou, the sun fairy, gave me power. That's why Genkan and Maria and Hana like me the way they do. That's why Brittany backed down. You and her share a similar problem.
"And, if you don't need anyone, who's Koakuma?"
He recoiled at that. "We're… like…"
We fell silent. He searched for an explanation, but didn't even have the courage to stumble over his own words. I crouched down, folding my legs next to 'em.
"I don't need Koa." Bradley declared.
Nikkou's instincts flared. "Tell her that to her face."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I… I do need Koa. I love her. I love her so much."
That's when Koakuma appeared again, crouched down next to us.
"Awww." She teased him! "I love you too."
"I—" Bradley looked at me with such a vague, panicked gaze. "I just—… I just feel wrong."
Koakuma didn't say anything, gazing at me smugly instead, her spade-tipped tail swishing around curiously. What's her angle…?
"What do you like about hangin' out with her?" I decided to press on that front.
"She's nice. She gets me. Talking about everything with her is so simple. And… it's so easy for me to do the jobs we're assigned. That's become my goal. And when I come home, she's there… but I'm never satisfied with thinking she just loves me. Because… I don't know if she wants something more. I'm afraid of when she lets me go, of when she gets bored a' me."
Koakuma shook her head. "I've always told you that was a stupid thing to think. If you bored me, I would let you know. I'm not lying when I say I love you."
"Why can't I trust you on that?"
...Koakuma sighed. "Because I'm an asshole. Because I've always cautioned you to find someone else. I've kept things casual between us. I never saw myself hooking up with any old human guy. Settling isn't in my blood. But… you've become more than that. Brad, don't you see? You're a monster. My monster. I'm free to be myself around you. And..."
She gained a sharp look. "I want you to experiment. I've always had multiple lovers, so you should feel free to do so as well. And we should both know, deep down, despite whoever we're nailing, we're the ones perfect for one another. If we have a true secret to tell, we tell one another. Not our side hoes."
Bradley admitted something! "I do have multiple lovers."
"No, you don't." What! "You have multiple one night stands and bouts of casual sex. No, I want you to get more girlfriends. Live a little."
Nikkou's voice raised in my chest. "You guys are fucked up!"
They both replied at once! "We know." Koakuma's gaze was extremely flat!
Bradley chuckled! "Fuckin' idiot..."
Could Brittany or Bradley do the same? Could they step out of themselves and comprehend the kind of person Nikkou could be, like I am? Maybe that's what Koakuma just asked Bradley to do, on some level...
Standing up, Nikkou stepped back. "You're done, right? No more murderin' spree?"
Bradley inhaled, "Yeah. Yeah. Sorry." It was a bitter, fake apology, but I'll take it!
Brittany came up to us, staring up at me with mild awe. There we go, now this feels right. Felt weird being level with someone so bratty! She's weirdly tall for a bratty princess type!
"Ni— Nikkou?" She spoke to me!
"Heya."
"...So. I was wrong." Brittany looked more somber. "But, um, to save both of ourselves the trouble… I'm sorry, Brad.
I smiled back at her. "It's okay. You're me, after all. We all make these mistakes. We're always learning. No matter what we do."
I have not yet earned the power Bradley may wield, this is true… but I can now comprehend it, and that is all I'll need. There's no way around a little grinding in real life, but unlike Bradley, I won't have to follow that shit quite as cluelessly… and unlike Brittany, I won't try to hand the problem to someone else.
Facing him, I continued. "Nikkou's blessing, these jackets we found on good luck from my dumb adventurer bullshit, these things that made me powerful… they're what put me over you, Bradley. It's not because you didn't work hard. You did. It's not because people don't love you, 'cause they might. It's because despite all that…
"Have any of the people you killed made you satisfied with yourself? Killin' us wouldn't have fixed that shit. That's basically why I didn't just kill you. I trusted you enough to understand that you're bein' a dumbass."
Brittany bowed, facing the air between both of us. "Tha— thank you both. I'll remember you."
"Aah…" Bradley chuckled, grinning through bloody teeth. "Shieeeut."
Koakuma smiled at me. "Speaking of options: hey, other Brad?"
"No, we will not have sex." I refused!
"Oh, phooie." She put her arms on her hips! "...Well. Alright." She backed down way easier than our Koakuma! "If you ever get tired of your yuki-onna, keep me in mind, alright?"
"I suuure won't!"
Fwaash. Suddenly, Nikkou's form dissipated into sunlight, the startling sunlight aura rescinding back into my core. Steppin' back, I felt over the Nikkou gauntlet as it slowly dimmed back to idle.
My lunar rabbit jacket whipped around on my shoulders, wind whirling to a stop around me.
This suit I picked up from some of my kleptomaniac Terraria adventurer instincts… it basically saved Genkan and Maria's life, and my own. I found this suit, and it wasn't hard to wear.
Bradley wore his own suit like an earned badge of honor, I could tell. He was the suit. Chicks digged the suit. And I wasn't gonna lie: it was a pretty nice suit.
Chasing Meiling's techniques? Building the S. S. Boner, albeit half for fun, but half to fight Shimokoa? Querying Shou for combat arts? All of that prep work I'd kept chasing and chasing? I was partially living in the shadow of wearing the suit Bradley wore. Yet he himself lived in the shadow of the suit he himself wore.
That told me two things. One: he was just really bad with people, and I was comparatively pretty okay with people. Two: I've been doing it wrong, but Bradley has shown me how. Shimokoa has shown me how. All these assholes have one thing in common, and it's not just being murderhobos.
It's that they couldn't imagine changing their lifestyles. Yeah, not a small order, but it can be a very necessary one to realize our full potential. Imagine if Genkan didn't adapt to love me. Imagine if Maria was too scared to leave the village…
Imagine if I was too bored of buckling down and investing time to gain the skills to keep my friends, or myself, from dying?
Oh god— that's when the world got all wibbly wobbly again woah—
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...Oh. Woah.
When I sat up, we were before the window-like doorframe we went into. It was just the mirror now. None of my party was reflected through it, but nobody was on the other side either.
"Man… mirrors really are bad luck." That sucked. I got shot. Mirrors are fuckin' violent, man!
Genkan got up off the floor. "I hate guns. I see why you hate guns, Brad."
Wat. "Did I ever say I hated guns…?"
"They're from the outside, and very deadly. You must hate guns."
Well, dang! "Now that y'mention it… yeah I'm probably not a big fan a' the way guns are applied!"
Maria scratched at her own hair! "That was like a bad dream. These things always happen when we screw with mirrors."
Maybe... this is the last time we will fuck with mirrors like that! I'm getting sick of getting new nightmare every time I step into one!
Yo— "What I wanted to know was why that opposing me was so tough! Like damn!"
Maria chuckled! "You nearly got killed earlier today because I landed on you too hard, and there he was getting crushed up against walls and just— not caring."
"I was not being gentle either." Genkan was mildly confounded! "The benefits of a healthy diet, Brad." What!
Standin' up, I stretched! "Man. That was a fuckin'..." I trailed off because I wasn't sure how I wanted to comprehend what just happened. I certainly experienced it! Words are failing me!
...Ha-chan was here, looking peaceful. She gave up on sitting-up, flopping onto her back, giving up on life.
"So…" Genkan met my gaze. "What was that?"
Hoh! "What was what?"
"You turned into that blonde fairy we fought on the ship. The one in the weapon you have equipped right now."
Oh, yeah. "She pro'lly thought I was gonna die if she didn't help me, so…"
"Oh?"
"But she also said… she wanted me to help complete her in some way. I dunno exactly what she meant. Somethin' to do with human behavior..."
Ha-chan made a guess from the floor. "Sex...?"
I shook my head! "Probably not! The way things sounded, sex was a way of doing that but not the only way. Hmm…"
I'm not sure how to do that again either! I held up my arms and just kinda… willed it. Yo, Nikkou! Lemme back in! Lemme—
Fwish. With a distortion of light around me, my fairy wings expanded, and I was just… taller. ...Huh.
"Woah." Nikkou's womanly voice was like silk.
Immediately, my mind was practically rammed by the question: what would Nikkou do? Hoh hoh!
"...Hello?" Genkan came up to me, pensive but curious!
"Hey, sweet stuff." Aw, there we go. "What's cookin'?"
Now that I was way taller than Genkan, having already been a little taller before, I towered over her. She stared up at me from under Nikkou's breastage. "...What do you mean?"
Bending down, I swept Genkan up into a bridal carry.
"Are—…" Genkan was curious! "Are you Brad? Or the fairy?"
"I'm both." I lied but also didn't? "...Not gonna lie: princesses always did it for me."
"...What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're my princess." I gave her a wink! "You're just too damn soft."
Genkan had a small expresion! "...I'm not sure how to feel about this. This isn't permanent, right?"
"Hell no!" Nikkou and I both did not like that idea!
Genkan shrugged. "This is fine, then, I guess..."
After enjoying holding Genkan like she were a ragdoll, I gently sat her back down and lumbered over to Maria. "Hey there! Don't think I really got to meet'cha last time. Little mage girl…"
Maria was still confused! "Are you… her, or Brad?"
"I said both." Nikkou emanated vague annoyance at needin' to clarify!
"...I'm one of your close friends." Maria gave me a firm nod. "I— I'm not as… visible as the others, but I like it that way."
"Just doing your own thing, huh?" Nikkou smiled. "Cool." That's a thing I don't think Nikkou would ever say to a human, but it's what a more knowledgeable Nikkou would say.
That's when I realized: whenever on the outside I was like, "I wish I could just live life for this person, I could be their ideal form a lot better"... this was exactly what I meant.
"Heey! Nari!" Reaching down, I picked Ha-chan up by her shoulders, gettin' her off her ass onto her feet!
She was shocked into wakefulness! "Nickel!?" Wha— she still remembered Nikkou's name from being Nari, ho ho!
"Hey there, you paranoid psychopath! Oh, man." Nikkou was overwhelmed with a wave of some kinda unidentified nostalgia. "I wish Nari would come out of her fucking plant hanger form so I could wring her little bitchy princess neck."
...Ha-chan smiled! "You just said you liked princesses."
Nikkou narrowed her eyes! "Don't think about it, kid."
"Hehehe!" Did Ha-chan just successfully tease her? Holy shit!
Taking a deep breath, I rubbed my hands together. "Who wants to see the sun? I wanna see the sun. You guys wanna see the sun?"
Maria chuckled. "I'd like to see the sun again some day, yeah."
With that, Nikkou broke into a brisk walk. "...Hey. What's with this fuckin' kimono?" I felt at my camouflage kimono, lookin' at how it fit me. "This some ceremonial rag? Or what?"
"...Probably not?" Genkan gave her best guess!
Fwi- Click! Oh! We changed our outfit, into Nikkou's fuckin'... ancient greek-style white ribbon of cloth and barefoot combo.
"Better." I looked down at my own cleavage! "...What the hell's a greek? Actually, nevermind. Uuh. I wear this because it's comfy. Don't judge me."
Genkan still had to question it! "Now that you mention it, why do some fairies choose rags?"
"These are heavenly bands strung from the honored spare celestial veil cloth. It's inert, and yet… still so pretty." I held my arms behind my head. "I think it accents my figure quite well."
...Turning, I caught Maria staring me over. Promptly, I swooped in and picked her up. "Wha…" Her arms propped up at her sides! "Um?"
"You've been walkin' too much. Take a rest."
Maria was just absolutely dazzled. "Oo—… okay…"
While we walked down the halls, I had a cursed thought. "Imagine Brad wearing these. They really only work because I'm an image of beauty and honor."
Maria smiled. "Might as well put him in a bikini, at that point."
"Haha…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We came outta an angled door, onto the rooftop adjacent to the clocktower. The afternoon sun was high in the sky, and the winter air was cold.
Nikkou's body and wings, however, were fiercely warm, emanating the sun's gentle light as we walked around out here.
"You know…" As we took in the soft sunlight, I closed my eyes. "Brad can't keep up these forms forever."
Genkan was invested in the explanation. "How so?"
"...As he might call it, this is the tutorial on how it works. If he generates sufficient natural energy in combat, he may willingly call on my power, or the power of any fairy willing to lend itself to him.
"Outside of combat… this stuff doesn't last all that long. For me, anyway. Fighting's what I love. Upholding justice and the sunlight's honor. I may call Nari prideful, but I too am quite prideful in my own way. I'm too much of a coward to help him with whatever pointless social bullshit he's getting into."
But, Nikkou made a soft face, staring over Genkan. "I'll make an exception for his friends. This love he feels for you is intense. I can feel it pound through me. I feel so... at ease. Heheh. I'm not even the sappy type. It's just… this feels too good."
Coming up to Genkan, I wrapped her in a gentle headlock. "You're so fucking cute!" She ended up pressed into my left boob.
She didn't reply, looking displaced, her face a little red.
"Hehe…" Nikkou let her go, looking slightly nervous. "Aa— anyway. It was, uh… nice meeting you guys. But… I think I'm good for now."
fwvrr. The sunlight around me dissipates, and I am once again just Brad! And oh my god I'm still wearing Nikkou's rags.
Genkan looks at me. I look at her. My greek rags cease magically appending to my form, all sagging, leaving me effectively naked.
"Yep," Maria sighed. "It doesn't work."
"Oh no…!" I held my head! "My Samus Aran energy ran out…!"
"Put some clothes on, Brad." Genkan began quietly chuckling! "You're going to catch a cold."
Fwi- Click! Changing back into what I had on before, I felt myself over! "Oh man this feels so different. I feel so not-naked!"
"Probably because you are… no longer naked." Maria clarified!
We became quiet, just standing along the protective rail along the edge of the mansion's roof. We all stared onto the sunny landscape, the lake, and the village in the distance.
Yukari's big idea was showing me that. Was it for me to get that… fairy skill? Was it for somethin' else? The answer is probably. It's no big mystery. The real question is why? I can only assume it's for some reason similar to how she warned me about Shimokoa. There's no reason she'd just give me something like that… is there?
"We should play NASCAR Pro," I suggested to Genkan.
"Hell no." What! "We're going home… and we're getting your kimono repaired." Oh, right.
I chuckled. "You know what? We've gotta refurbish the house this week!"
Maria was smug. "I better follow you guys for that too. ...Lest you fall into a freaking mirror and explode."
"We really are too powerful as a unit," Genkan considered! "...We'll see what the future holds. We're no slouches on our own, as long as we don't bite off more than we can chew."
"Mmh…" Maria wasn't so sure though. "I'd rather travel with someone. I'm not so confident about being on my own. I don't even know how Brad does it."
"Brad is insane."
"I guess so…"
I'd make some comment about how we should relax after gettin' caught up in shit, but I've begun to realize that's like, been the trend for the past like month so I've just come to accept that we are occasionally thrown into incredibly violent boss battles.
While we were idle, Maria made the banter. "You know, half-naked Genkan being held by that half-naked fairy was really cool."
Genkan gave her a flat look! "You're into women, aren't you?"
"Probably. I think I'm into both…" She looked at me! "And it'd be weird if I was into Brad."
"Which do you like more?" Genkan wondered.
"...Probably girls. But only because you and Hana are really pretty. Some of the girls in the village are ugly."
"Rate Brad." Genkan decided!
"...Why?"
"I'm curious."
Maria snorted. "You rate Brad..."
"When I first met him it would have been a two. Now it's a nine. Out of ten, I mean."
What! "...How do ya get to ten!?"
"This is why I didn't want to rate him." Genkan shook her head! "But, now it's your turn. There's nowhere to run."
Maria shrugged. "...Seven."
"Eight-nine!" Ha-chan contributed!
"Seven? Why so?" Genkan was evil. "Please explain in detail."
"Okay, how is he a nine?"
"I'm not sure if I could explain. Legitimately."
Maria had a skeptical look. "Try me. I know embarrassment. Just try me."
"...Actually, I'd said something to this effect when we were bathing. He's easily displaced. Though I wouldn't mind if he were a little more well-fed. That, and other things."
"What other things?"
Genkan sighed! "It's so unique to him, I don't know what to tell you. Or so non-uniquely male that… you know… that's sort of why I wanted your opinion."
Maria shrugged. "You know what? We have to put him in a suit."
Fwi- Click. I changed into the nazi officer outfit I had, since it was the closest thing I had to a regular-ass suit!
...She nodded at me! "You're right, I don't know how to describe it."
I stared on with clueless innocence. Despite that, I like… just kind of knew something about what they were talking about? Yeah. But like them, I dunno how to describe it. Something something male imperfections… or y'know, "imperfections" has a certain taste to it, it's not even that. Weight of masculine traits versus feminine traits!
At first dudes consider it a great challenge: after all, you're not a woman, so how d'ya judge? But it's not that hard, really. You just… observe what they like and how. Some of the things that might put you off as "masculine" or "dirty" traits might be what a lady's into. Yeah, imagine that? Someone likes you for you! It's difficult for noobs to wrap their heads around because they're not down to fuck themselves— yeah, depending on your preferences, of course you wouldn't!
"Boobs." Nodding with satisfaction, I gave the floor a hearty stare.
"That's that, I suppose." Genkan stared into the distance, looking snugly innocent.
It's time, son. It's time to get the lay of the land.
Leaping onto the rail of the mansion's rooftop, I spread my arms out, and struck a pose! "Yeehaw!"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
NEW SKILL (BRAD):
Fairy Script - When Brad's natural energy is high enough, he may take on the form of a friendly fairy. In this form, he gains passive healing and many benefits inherited from the fairy's natural power. Additionally, he may influence her actions and decisions, and she can influence his.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Robot Demolisher, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Factory Disassembler, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Winter Warrior, Village Revolutionary, Has Forgotten What Half of These Titles Stood For, Holder of Too Many Titles - Human outsider who frequently changes equipment to suit the situation, but is mostly known for cheating winter in his camouflage kimono that makes him ice resistant to the point of immunity.
BASE SKILLS:
Lucky Star - Non-elemental magic that does very random damage to one target. The star is summoned from above, and simply coasts into people.
Scent Pillow - A spell taught by Koakuma. The end-game strat, dude.
World's Wimpiest Fireball - A spell learned from a book given ta me by Patchouli. Not very good for anything…! May dry out targets.
Lumen - Low-grade holy spell that eats mana. Requires a source of holy to actually be cast. Homes in on an enemy and deals a burst of mediocre holy damage.
Quintuple Jump - The good skill. Allows the user to completely cancel their falling momentum and jump again. Brad can do this up to five times, aided by the power of nature on his last jump.
Sky Star - Mid-air evade which consumes a jump and sends Brad spinning away. Only possible with anti-gravity boots equipped.
COMBOS:
==NERF Marauder Combo==
A wimpy, back-and-forth slapping motion, one hand on the very bottom tip of a hanger's handle. Relies on the weapon itself to just bean a person's head! The way it works allows attacks to be chained together easier.
Reflex IX-1 - Reeling the plant hanger over his head, Brad charges it with magic and just fuckin' whunks it down like a club! Weapon effects are stronger. Attack is stronger with great hangers. Known as Cleave to actual swordsmen!
Secret Strike AS-1 - A sneaky turning-around underarm stab which can catch opponents off-guard. Known as Tonfa Turnaround, 'cause it's a tonfa technique.
Barrel Break IX-2 - Reeling the hanger back like a bat off his second attack, Brad freakin' clubs a guy across the head with it! Or, tries to. Big stagger and knockback potential! Known as Batter Up to bat wielders!
Switch Shot EX-3 - Inspired by Shou's tonfa-related techniques. Seeing an opportunity, Brad uses the back of a plant hanger's protrusions to pull an opponent past himself by the neck, before rolling the hanger over and into their head. Works best on weaker foes. Known otherwise as Essence of Tonfa * Third Gear. Works best with smaller hangers with protruding details.
==Nunchuck Combo==
A series of slapping motions up-close which may transition into whirling elemental combo attacks.
Revolver - In mid-air, Brad snaps into a barrel-roll, holding onto one half of his nunchucks of choice, letting the other half strike foes repeatedly. Deals impressive combo damage, but leaves Brad very open afterwards. Effective on aerial targets.
==Brad Moves==
Physics and party playtime which ultimately results in sudden, hilarious bursts of damage. Involves convoluted setups and some luck.
Freakin' Impact - Using the Bawmber specifically to uppercut a foe, Brad uses the knockback to land many recursive blows. Hits 1-5 times. Brad takes half of his total damage as recoil; as such, the raw damage isn't high, but the knockback leaves the enemy open and staggered.
Crucial D'Effrayeur - A variant of the hell wheel finisher, only possible after being launched way up in the air, and if Brad restores his jumps with an object. Whirling down, Brad lands a critical hit with seismic impact, which amplifies on-hit effects.
Ascension Game - Brad summons the yin-yang orb gifted from Reimu while in mid-air. Its weight and the physics behind it allow him to break his fall, as well as restore his jumps.
The Plant Hanger - If a blast near Brad launches him, he may land a critical hit using One Million Revenants. Huge holy physical damage.
INVENTORY:
= = ►[Bag of Holding] - The best piece of equipment…! It's good, dude! Infinite enough inventory space!
= ►PLANT HANGER ARSENAL ► =
[ ] Fallen Comrade - Huge great hanger made of three smaller ones. Sharper Than Darkness is used at the front edge of it with its sickle facing out. Swordbreaker is along the broad front edge to engage blades. Hard Winter makes up the backbone of the thing and the hilt so that it's actually wieldy! Dark, ice, earth elemental weapon.
STATS:
Slightly debuffs target's physical attack on impact.
50% Dark resistance.
Attacks are darkness elemental.
Sickle end may make opponents bleed.
SKILLS:
Revenge - Skill that increases in strength when health is lower. Power doubles for each deceased party member. Power is increased by fifty percent for each defeated party member. Fairies count as defeated rather than deceased no matter what. Power and effects depend on current weapon. High accuracy.
Bloody Mess - User bleeds faster and longer. Oof!
Jack Hammer - Y'know, I have no idea if this still works with it as is…!
Generic Buff - Channeling mana into the hanger gives the user a marginal increase in physical stats. Moderate increase to physical defense and offense.
Pulse - Basic dark magic, which creates an influx of dark magic in an enemy's form and stresses their whole body. Reduces magic attack.
Gaia Seed - Basic earth magic which intensifies Earth's pull a little. May make targets slightly tired.
Gaia Bloom - Advanced earth magic, which intensifies Earth's pull, with multiple instances of hazy earth magic. Makes the target tired.
Tundra - Crate-sized spike of ice that erupts under people and throws them off balance. I suppose it'd hurt if you fell on it. Basic ice attack.
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, before initializing fully by flash-freezing the air all around them.
Combo Plus - User artificially gets an extra hit. Can be canceled out of.
Combo Jump - User cancels out of combos easily.
Frost Trail - User leaves frost in their trail while jumping.
[ ] Lion's Lindworm - Hanger made of Fairy Harp and a guitar hanger thing I got as a music competition prize! It's pretty good, dude! It's— it's also windy, dude...
STATS:
Boosts the power of Wind skills.
SKILLS:
Gust - Basic wind magic. Pushes the feeble. Fee~ble…!
Fairy Dust - Weapon status effect replaced with fairy dust. Wind attacks with this weapon get fairy dust all over the enemy, reducing accuracy and senses.
Sick Ill Harp Cords - Get ready for my next great mixtape!
Combo Plus - User artificially gets an extra hit. Can be canceled out of. Obtained with combo technology!
Aerial Plus - Forced aerial support! It's vaguely easier to hit aerial foes with it! Obtained with combo technology!
Combo Jump - Allows the user to transition to jumping while mid-attack.
Combo Air Slide - Allows the user to transition to air sliding while mid-attack.
Aero Finish - Combo finishers deal air-toss status, artificially blowing foes into the air. Works best on human-weight foes.
Auto-Sucker - When this weapon is equipped, Brad will always lash out with it immediately.
[ ] Red Scare - A red and crimson plant hanger composed of purplish-red gems and crimson metals. Boosts the power of fire skills. Also has the good NERF gun attached to it!
STATS:
Danmaku may confuse the target.
Danmaku may degrade the target's luck.
Danmaku may berserk the target.
Physical attacks ignite targets.
Physical attacks may berserk the target.
SKILLS:
Hellfire Plume - A jet of hellfire. Berserks the targets, and isn't put out as easily. Not quite a grease fire, but unless it's totally frozen into oblivion, it ain't goin' out! Obeys fire resistance like any fire, though.
Fume - Makes hot air fume from the earth below. Might sear the feeble.
Berserk - Non-damaging fire spell which may berserk a target for a while. Can be removed with water or ice stuff!
Danmaku Adaptability - Now that there's a NERF gun on it I can shoot the good danmaku dude.
[ ] Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Boosts the power of water skills.
SKILLS:
Freakin' Leaks! - Can produce limitless fresh hanger water…!
Geyser - Basic water attack. Gush of water erupts from the earth and might fling the feeble…!
Valve - I can control the water flow with this!
[ ] Bee-Fitty-Fore-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Made of a lot of weird freakin' parts and stick bits and piston things. Has a NERF gun slapped onto it too!
STATS:
Danmaku explodes on impact with anything, dealing knockback and splash damage.
Accuracy falls moderately when used to fire danmaku.
SKILLS:
Boom - Hitting stuff makes booms!
Danmaku Adaptability - Can also shoot the good danmaku, dude.
[ ] Fragile Flower - A cute hanger with floral designs and light colors. Aesthetically pleasing!
SKILLS:
Enfeebled - Wielder has halved physical defense and offense.
Cleanse - Basic healing skill which cleanses one target of all debuffs or status problems.
[ ] Dream Hanger - Non-elemental hanger. Black and unassuming metal. Currently balanced, and easy for Brad to use. Has innate magical properties to it.
STATS:
Increases accuracy slightly. Somehow…? So said Genkan.
10% instant death resistance. Hoh…!
[ ] Hoarfrost Forecast - Great hanger; previously One Million Revenants. Sun, holy, electric weapon. It's a pair of nunchucks, basically. It's composed of three "limbs" or "links" connected by three rope-like appendages (made of panties and cross necklaces) that combine in the center. A triple nunchuck! The first link is made of Market Gardener followed by Flandre Scarlet's modified Million Bucks, followed by the purple hilty bit of the Headless Horseman's Hanger. Youkai Inconveniencer is the second link, and Frost Broker is the third link.
STATS:
One link is warm as the sun. One link is ice-cold. One link is holy!
25% Dark resistance.
25% Holy resistance.
25% Ice resistance.
Boosts the power of sun skills.
Boosts the power of holy skills.
Boosts the power of ice skills.
Attack elements depend on the links used to strike (ranging from Ice, Holy and Sun).
Attacks phase through foes, dealing semi-magical, semi-physical damage.
Critical hits during blast jumps.
SKILLS:
Headless - Summons pumpkin-head danmaku from nowhere to assault targets. One spawns every combo-finisher!
Flash - Blinding magic. Works best on dark-elementals, but also works on youkai. Humans don't resist it, so it still works on them, with reduced efficiency.
Flashlight - It's a flashlight! Might blind dark youkai, I dunno…
Shine - Basic holy magic. Generates a holy orb in the target's body, randomly battering them with a raw holy gush.
Saturn - Electric-holy magic. Creates an expanding shockwave of electricity and holy light in an enemy's form.
Panic Attack! - Run faster when health is lower!
Air Slide Plus - Lets the user awkwardly air slide.
Glide - Replaces my double jump skill with gliding.
High Jump - Increased jump height while running.
Magnet Spiral - When Hoarfrost Forecast is twirled altogether in orbit around Brad, every hanger activated, it becomes magnetic, pulling in magic as well as iron. Restores Brad's mana with 10% of the stolen mana. The rest is unleashed in a magnetic burst when the technique is concluded. Enables Double-Elemental Revolver.
Double-Elemental Revolver - Only works when Hoarfrost Forecast is charged by Magnet Spiral. Depending on which sides of Hoarfrost Forecast are combined, Brad can deal combo damage on impact. Weapon effects are as follows
[ ] London Operating Cross - A cross that lets me summon good 'ol London, yo. Non-elemental in nature. Not actually a plant hanger. London herself uses Fireball, Ice Shard and Thunderbolt, but can only use a few spells before runnin' outta mana. Also fires diamond-shaped patterns 'a yellow, diamond-shaped danmaku. Hoh! Costly-ish to use…!
[ ] Neon Sparkler - Metal junk from a DJ booth called the MixMaster GIGA! Non-elemental… plant… hanger? Has a bunch of rod-like parts, and boxy metal bits, and stuff!
STATS:
Boosts the power of non-elemental skills.
25% Seduction resistance.
May cast Velvet Sparkles on impact.
SKILLS:
Velvet Sparkles - Weapon lights up, and gets sparks everywhere! When the weapon's fizzling, it might jolt foes, or stun them…
[ ] God Hand - Fragment of the fake moon from a past incident of Gensokyo. Contains magnificent amplified power if Brad channels it, but eats lots of mana.
STATS:
Moon-elemental plant hanger.
Immunity to stagger and berserk.
SKILLS:
Lua - Impacts while charged will deal extreme physical damage, but the recoil is just as extreme. May create lunar shockwaves on impact.
Hand of God - Magic focused through this while charged will become space elemental.
Lunar Scope - Magic focused through this while not charged is polluted with lunar energy.
God Shattering Star - Guarding an attack or magic spell while charged will unleash a blast of holy light. Dispels foes and may weaken them.
[ ] The Spirit of Giving - A big candy-cane with an easy grip! Even worse than plant hangers for combat. Enchanted with a powerful, unknown magic.
STATS:
Boosts the power of healing spells.
A consumable healing candy is dropped by defeated foes.
Health and mana prizes collected are also applied in full to party members.
Foes drop healing prizes on impact, which may only be collected by Brad and his party.
SKILLS:
Cure - The one, the only. Healing magic concentrated in a one-time burst of regenerative energy, bringing a party member in tatters back from the brink to full vitality. Has the eerie effect of making every encounter ten times as hard, as if the world's trying to compensate for something. Eats mana.
[ ] Magnetic North - Plant hanger made of some strange cobalt crystal, which projects magnetic fields.
STATS:
Foes drop mana prizes on impact, which may only be collected by Brad and his party.
Impacts drain mana from foes.
Impacts inflict magnetism on foes, draining mana and converting it into ambient mana, and prizes. Magnetism also halves the max shield of a foe, if they have energy shielding.
SKILLS:
North Pole - The closer it is to midnight, the stronger this spell is. The closer it is to winter, the stronger this spell is. Mana cost scales with these modifiers. Upon activating the prefab, Brad creates a magnetic schematic for magic to articulate to. May make a big ice tree, or may create a grand icy cataclysm.
Yin-yang Flail - A yin-yang with lots of rope freakin' decoratin' it! Hmm...
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…
NERF longsword: the sequel - Now I can dual wield these useless, narratively non-existent armaments!
= ►ARMORY ► =
[ ] Sighing of the Moon - Relatively harmless forgotten Lunarian relic, repurposed into a ring by Santa's folks at the North Pole.
STATS:
100% Moon resistance.
[ ] New Panties - Ha-chan, why, no...!
[e] Camouflage Kimono - The tried-and-true, the classic, the favorite.
STATS:
150% ice resistance.
50% freeze resistance.
50% dark resistance.
-50% fire resistance.
-50% burning resistance.
[ ] Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Pink dress with lots of white ribbons. I'm not sure what to say about this...
STATS:
75% time resistance.
[ ] Yellow Racecar Helmet -It's like a really knockoff space marine helmet! It feels like it's got good physical defense, too… at least for my head.
STATS:
50% sun resistance.
100% freezing resistance.
100% blinding resistance.
100% electrical stunning resistance.
[ ] Lunarian Prototype Space Suit - A suit meant for combat in deep space. So far, it's only got the whole 'exist in deep space' part down…! Has an oxygen tank, but that's only useful if you wear the helmet to go along with it.
STATS:
100% electricity resistant.
100% freezing resistant.
Randomly casts Zero Gravity when it feels like it.
Zero Gravity - Area of effect spell which removes gravity from debris and the feeble!
[ ] Lunarian Prototype Deep Space Helmet - It's a freakin' space helmet.
STATS: (alone)
Fifty percent blinding resistant.
STATS: (paired with Lunarian Prototype Space Suit)
100% electricity resistant. Again, yo!
100% resistance to burning and being actively poisoned.
[ ] Testing Oxygen Tank - The oxygen tank used by the Lunarian Prototype Space Suit. Lasts for two and a half minutes. Not meant to actually be used outside of testing, but it's possible. Refills automatically in breathable air.
[ ] MP Prize Pin - A badge that allows the user to drain some of the enemy's mana, forcing it to become mana prizes on the field.
STATS:
Extends prize grabbing range. Yay…?
[ ] Sun Badge - A badge that looks like the sun. How interesting, dude.
STATS:
15% sun resistant. I need to smelt this into a weapon…!
50% resistance to blinding and electrical stunning.
Replaces the on-impact effect of all weapons with Sunfire Flare. Yuck…!
SKILLS:
Sunfire Flare - Flash of light that blinds everyone. Doesn't work on the sun-resistant.
[ ] Stock Outfit - Blue, long-sleeved shirt with a huge V-neck button-up collar. Blue sweatpants. Most balanced outfit.
STATS:
-5% wind resistance.
May make the wearer tired.
[ ] Retro Patchy Hat - A really old hat of Patchy's. It's freakin floofy, du~de…!
STATS:
Moderate increase to magical defense and offense.
[ ] Moon Crescent - Patchy's favorite accessory.
STATS:
Immunity to silencing.
25% moon resistance.
Moderate increase to magical offense.
[ ] Anti-Magic Amulet - Deep blue, crystalline necklace given by Patchy in exchange for a blue dragon's bone. I should incorporate this into an outfit too so I don't freakin' forget it, 'cause it's real important!
STATS:
Sharply increases magical defense.
[ ] Iron Cross - Big World War II medal! Freakin'- holy shit…
STATS:
Randomly summons explosion backup.
50% bomb resistance.
Stagger immunity.
[ ] Officer Hat - Nazi officer hat…! I better not get a million angry letters for finding this!
STATS:
50% darkness resistance.
Wearer is immune to instant death.
[ ] Officer's Coat - Nazi officer coat, too! Oh boy oh boy…
STATS:
50% darkness resistance.
Wearer is immune to being cursed.
Slightly boosts defense and magic defense.
[ ] Toyosatomimi's Regalia - Dress of the Crown Prince... of all Taoism or something, I don't freakin' know!
STATS:
100% Dispel resistant.
100% Blinding resistant.
50% Sun resistant.
Gives the user Bravery, improving critical rate by 50%, and reducing enemy critical rates by 30% while active.
Vaguely boosts defense.
[ ] Toyosatomimi's Earmuffs - Makes it hard to hear when worn right. Has an awesome symbol on the sides! I... have no freakin' clue what it means.
STATS:
100% Silencing resistant.
Immunity to all sound damage, including Mandragora-tier screeching when worn properly.
[ ] Toyosatomimi's Cape - Miko's fancy ass cape. It shimmers in the light!
SKILLS:
May be set to three different colors, changing cape properties:
Purple Mode:
The Prince's Will - Passive which constantly gives the user Morale status, preventing them from dying when struck by a blow that would fell them in one hit if they're of high vitality. Stops even Instant Death, although the wearer will be left on the cusp of death.
Red Mode:
Adaptive Combo Plus - Passively extends melee combo length on the ground and in the air by one.
Strength Up - Boosts strength somewhat.
The Prince's Strength - Boosts defense greatly.
Blue Mode:
Danmaku Plus - Each bullet fired has a 50% chance to be two bullets instead.
Magic Hastera - Mana regenerates 50% faster.
The Prince's Cunning - Boosts magic defense greatly.
[ ] Toyosatomimi's Panties - The prince's panties. They're purple and shiny...
STATS:
Improves movement speed slightly.
50% Dispel resistance.
Randomly grants Morale status.
100% Blinding resistance.
[ ] Carrot Medallion - Noob rabbit training tool, offered by Tewi to help me suck less at life!
SKILLS:
Essence of Pacifist * Unarmed - When unarmed, Brad gets an automatic evasion boost. +70% Evasion, but does not stack with magical buffs, and gets worse if he improves his speed naturally. Only works when unarmed.
=o=
Eientei Gamer Pro RX3 Laptop - One of Kaguya's clean spare laptops, with a free BunnySoft Suite subscription. Respectably powerful hardware.
Generator Router Modem - Staggeringly convenient Eientei technology, which sustains a minor power supply autonomously from ambient mana. Doesn't work outside of Gensokyo. Provides access to Eientei's internet connection, for use by modern devices.
Black Carrying Case - Soft case with foam-insulated inside to protect technology in transit. Could also be used for field trips, or adventures. Not that it's very relevant, with a hammerspace bag on hand…
Nintendo DS XL Charger - A charger which works on all big DS models.
(x3) Themier Lance - Metal lances constructed for the Themier brand of lance launchers. Inside, they have a payload that pounds the metal architecture of the projectile into a target, rending flesh, armor, and stone. Might go off if you drop them.
Reimu's Outfit - Shrine maiden clothes, dude. Holy resistant, but I dunno how much! Even comes with the bindings and tubes and ribbon 'n' everything!
Reimu's Ribbon - Man, that's cuddly looking. I need to hug Reimu now, dude...
Hakurei Arm Sleeves - No- teach me, how do you wear these!?
Remilia Scarlet's Mob Cap - Twenty five percent dark resistance. Legends say that if touhous do not wear this hat, they die dude.
Monk Robes - Doesn't really stack up to my other shit at this point! Wonder what I can do wit' it...
Gravity Boots - Boots that reduce the user's gravity! More like, propels them off the floor a little. Reduces the effectiveness of space statuses on the user. Really weird to control…!
Ed Edd n Eddy Sound Badge - A badge that replaces nearby noises with stupid cartoon ones when worn! I- I got it a few chapters ago, but just now added it to the inventory…!
= ►CONSUMABLES/OTHER ►=
Fifty two thousand, seven hundred Yen - Cash just got a lot smaller...
Four Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…
Mega Potion - Youkai-like regen for thirty seconds… except for the whole family! Applies to entire party. Good for when we all suck at life!
Four Mana Potions - Restores an average amount of mana, I think. More than enough for someone like me!
Three Panaceas - Cures all status effects. I dunno if it works on debuffs, though...
Akihito's Broadsword - Too big for me to use as a weapon. I wonder if I could use it as like, a tent stake or something.
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Rope of Red Bikinis - Wahaha! Gonna getcha, son!
Some Fancy Key - A key lent to me by Brittany. Wha- why. What's it for…!?
Youkai Exterminator Badge - I still have this, dude! Yo ho ho! Allows me to not be considered a youkai by most guardsmen!
Yellow Star Gem - A star-shaped yellow gem. I really should've asked Patchy what this did…! It's shiny and luminescent, though.
Sweet Sleep Pillow - Doremy's nice cuddly pillow. Really soft. Random chance to survey you on pillow quality while you're sleeping.
Genkan's Sweet Sleep Pillow - It's also pretty poofy...
Another 3DS - Especially 'cause I picked up anotha'!
Picture of Sendai Hakurei no Miko Sleeping on her Side and Facing the Viewer while Drowsy - ...Yeah uh, what it says on the tin. Reimu must see this, dude…!
Masturbation Pillow - ...Genkan probably would've given me a look fer this, if she could! Wau…
Dark Knife - Where the hell'd this- oh, wait! This is the thing Genkan got from that fairy! She just slipped it in here while no one was lookin'...
Empty Combo Technology - Red, orange and yellow piece of plastic and metal, about the size of a plant hanger. Adding its magic to Lion's Lindworm gave it Combo Plus and Aerial Plus! Now that it's empty, it's just plastic metal stuffs...
Wasp Stinger - Let the crap pile o~n!
= ► TRULY RANDOM CRAP ► =
Tables and Furniture - Impromptu furnishings!
==o►o==
PARTY MEMBERS:
==o►o==
Genkan, the Yuki-onna - A bitter yuki-onna from Gensokyo's wildlands, mostly active in the winter, and on particularly cold days. Heals from ice damage. Commands powerful control over frost, and has a wide variety of ice-affinity attacks. Weak to fire and burning. Cuddly, dude...
SKILLS:
Ice Control - Freely use ice to make stuff. Inherent one hundred percent ice resistance. Negative one hundred fire and burning resistance.
Freeze - Instantly freezes one to two enemies. Low chance of working on stronger foes.
Creaking Freeze - Generates a spinning, magic snowflake in an enemy's body, which instantly freezes them after a moment. High accuracy.
Tundra - Precursor to Glacier. Weak spike of ice that serves more as a warning. Physical ice attack.
Glacier - Erects a massive blade of ice from the ground, dealing incredible physical ice damage.
Triple Glacier - Same as above, except with more sudden scope across more targets. Less accurate. More costly.
Ice Spin - Not the skill Brad thinks it is. Creates a ring of initializing frost around a wide area, with a high chance to freeze.
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and freezes the air around them.
Snow - Make it snow locally. Very minor ambient ice damage to everyone on the battlefield, including allies. Has a low chance to instantly freeze someone for no reason.
Yuki-onna's Embrace - Hug. Binds target close to her. Makes the target tired, severely lowers accuracy and magical defense, and makes them comfortable. Skill may only be performed by my kind. Negative facets reduced by ice and freezing resist. Someone with over a hundred resistance will be buffed and healed by it.
Yuki-onna's Entombment - Final, optional stage of the hug. Guaranteed instant death inflicted by the draining of vitality. Heals the user for the heat taken from the target. Does not work well on bosses or the instant death resistant. Instant death proc is nullified if the target's ice or freezing resistance is over fifty percent. Skill may only be performed by my kind.
= = II EQUIPPED ITEMS - GENKAN:
WEAPON: Fans
HEAD: None
TORSO: Absolute Zero Kimono
PANTS: [Absolute Zero Kimono]
SHOES: Plain Sandals
MISC ONE: None
MISC TWO: None
MISC THREE: None
RESULTING STATUS:
300% ice resistance [200% native]
300% freezing resistance [200% native]
-50% fire resistance [native]
-50% burning resistance [native]
=II= ARSENAL =II=
[e] Fans - Genkan's stock fans. The most balanced, and easiest for her to use. She doesn't use them often because they're just plain paper fans, so they're not very useful.
[ ] Heavy Tanker - Huge, metal-grey cardboard fans!
STATS:
+150% max HP.
Quadrupled defense.
Speed reduced to 25%.
Knockback effects halved.
100% Stagger immune.
50% Bomb resistance.
SKILLS:
Super Armor - When casting or melee attacking, user is way more knockback resistant.
Tundral Disaster - User can create a pinnacle glacier of ice, and then detonate it like a warhead. Half magical bomb, half physical ice attack.
Defender - Defense is increased in critical situations. Passive.
[ ] Fever - The tiniest pink fans...!
STATS:
100% Confusion resistant.
100% Slow resistant.
100% immunity to evasion debuffs.
Defense halved.
Attack halved.
Speed doubled.
SKILLS:
Break Time - Take a break. You've earned it, dude! Heals all MP and HP, if user is given some time to relax. User has to do three party tricks to get the HP and MP.
Hastega - Speed up the whole party! Doubles everyone's speed. Stacks...!
Rising Rotor - Do a breakdance move to fend off attackers and get back up!
[ ] Love of the Lindens - Pink, azure fan set which emanates a windy aura. They're traditional dance fans, too, fit with patterns of a specific type of tree.
STATS:
25% Wind resistance
25% Earth resistance
SKILLS:
Freeze Pose - Allows the user to freeze amidst a dance-style skill, and seamlessly combo into another.
Sunrise - Flourishing motion, filled with repeated three-sixty spins which roar into an enemy, staggering them repeatedly. Wind elemental physical skill.
BreezeFazer - Heavy physical skill, where the user coasts the wind to skate into their target, clotheslining them with a limb. User must be able to fly to use this.
[ ] Theimer M01 - Improved anti-tank RPG with armor-piercing capabilities. Huge weapon that must be slung over the shoulder. Known among lunar soldiers as "The Tamer". Only usable amongst the party by Genkan. Ammo and weapon are both held in Brad's inventory because they're so heavy.
STATS:
200% damage bonus against armored vehicles.
-50% damage bonus against people.
High chance to fracture bones and cause fatal bleeding in opponents.
Very long reload time. Has limited ammo.
Hilariously bad accuracy.
SKILLS:
Theimer Lance - Large metal warhead that gores into people and armor alike. Travels slowly, and does physical damage. Next to no splash radius; the rocket more falling apart than actually exploding.
[ ] Destroyer of Lands - A fucking huge pirate cannon that fires explosive cannonballs. Ammo can be purchased at Eientei, the Scarlet Devil Mansion or from Murasa.
STATS:
Five cannonball magazine? Where's it store the ammo…!?
SKILLS:
Shoot - Shoots a cannonball. Does massive bomb damage in a huge radius. Insane knockback to the user and foes.
=II= ARMORY =II=
[e] Absolute Zero Kimono - A better version of the stock yuki-onna kimono. Outfited with new royal blue and cyan trims. It's fun, dude...
STATS:
100% percent ice resistance.
Effects vary when not worn by her…!
[ ] Voyage in the Land of the Rising Sun - Sunlight kimono which severely debalances Genkan's existence. A symbol of love between Brad and Genkan, sacrificing her gift of the cold for passage and life in the sun.
STATS:
-200% Ice resistance
100% Sun resistance.
100% Fire resistance.
-100% Freezing resistance.
Halves the strength of all ice skills.
Increases the strength of all sun skills.
SKILLS:
Morning Sun - Genkan may emit gentle sunlight, staving off the current weather conditions.
Child of Dawn - Genkan emits a pulse of warmth, increasing the morale of her allies.
NOTES:
Cannot be worn by Genkan when it is cold. Removes a yuki-onna's need to consume heat and soul of humans, allowing them to absorb the summer sun's heat. Only crippling when it's ice-cold out or just above freezing.
[ ] Autumn Dress - An actually sensible dress…! Looks like generic villager garb, except prettier and with brighter colors. Even aged, it's still bright!
STATS:
Wearer is immune to tiredness.
Wearer is immune to holy weakness.
Wearer is immune to stunning.
[ ] Cow Costume - Female clothing, of some description…? I think! S'freakin' weird, dude!
STATS:
Increases breast size by 25%.
Increases max health by 50%.
Wearer is immune to dispelling.
[ ] Martial Slipper Shoes - Chinese shoes for Genkan, which frame her feet. They're teal.
STATS:
Increases the strength of kicking skills. Easier to perform in than sandals, that's for sure!
[ ] Dying of the Light - A ring forged in the heart of the North Pole. Emits otherworldly solar power, and could probably provide the means for a small city.
STATS:
100% Sun resistance.
=II= MISCELLANEOUS =II=
Two thousand yen - Pocket money.
Bagged Money - We still dunno how much Reimu gave us...
Peppermint - Yo- Genkan has candy…!?
Fans - Regular fans. Helps her spread out frigid air, but she mostly holds onto them for personal fashion, apparently...
Ninjas of Love - Novel? Yo- what...
Viking Rune - Reusable rune that summons a viking monolith. Once summoned, it greatly increases everyone's physical attack prowess, before firing a frost spark with massive freezing capabilities. Very costly to all party members. Uses two inventory slots.
3DS - Genkan likes to play the single video game, dude…
Portable Expandable Dance Floor - A bunch of cool flashy tiles that can be laid down on any surface. Yeah, woohoo!
==o►o==
Maria, the Actually Ordinary Magician - A villager from the human village. Shy at heart, but gaining confidence as she becomes comfortable with her good friends. Resistances and weaknesses depend on equipment. Can cast basic elemental spells.
SKILLS:
Fire - Small, homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes! Doesn't do much damage.
Fira - Slightly larger homing fireball of doom. May ignite foes. Bursts broader than the preceding spell.
Blizzard - Spread shot of big snowflakes. May chill foes.
Blizzara - Big spread shot of myriad ice chunks, with magical snowflakes whirling around inside them. May freeze foes.
Thunder - Random spread of bolts in an area. Basic electric spell.
Thundara - Random spread of bolts in an area which explode on impact with the ground. May stun foes.
Water - Briefly creating streams of water in the air around herself, Maria fires a slow-moving glob of water to burst on impact with a foe, or the terrain near one.
Waterra - Shielding herself with a sphere of shifting water streams, Maria collects a bunch of water from the environment around herself, and unleashes a huge bullet of water that explodes on impact with terrain or foes.
Charm - Boosts magical attack of self or an ally moderately.
Seduction - Skill that temporarily seduces a foe. Single target, and doesn't work well on bigger girls...
INVENTORY:
WEAPON: Iron Beacon
HEAD: Zephyr Bombshells
TORSO: Casual Freeze Clothes
PANTS: [Casual Freeze Clothes]
SHOES: Casual Shoes
MISC ONE: None
MISC TWO: None
MISC THREE: None
RESULTING STATUS:
75% ice resistance
200% freezing resistance
Slightly improved magical defense [native]
=U= ARSENAL=U=
[ ] Pine Frost Staff - Made with pine wood and an icy reagent.
STATS:
25% ice resistance.
100% freezing resistance.
-50% burning resistance.
SKILLS:
Ice Shard - Advanced ice magic. May freeze enemies. Creates ice magic in their body, and
freezes the air around them.
[ ] Way of the Tiger - A really good wood staff, dude!
STATS:
-75% max MP.
+75% max HP.
Weapon is very light!
Defense increased sharply!
Attack increased sharply!
Magical defense decreased sharply...
Magical attack decreased sharply...
SKILLS:
Staff Skill - Doing effective moves with the staff is a lot easier because of its combat design!
High Jump - User can jump a bit better!
Polearm Beatdown - Critical attack that users tend to pull off once their adrenaline is running high. Hits multiple times.
[ ] An Eternity Together - Grey staff, with a very, very intricate top piece.
STATS:
50% Time resistant.
User is immune to slowing and stop.
+15% max MP for every party member.
User's speed is halved for every additional party member.
SKILLS:
Stop - Freezes an enemy in time. Only works on weaker foes. Any damage the enemy takes while frozen is relayed to it on fast-forward once it's free again!
[ ] SafetyZap! OVERKILL Edition - Half baton, half knife taser. When the grip is, well, gripped, the edges of it energize with one million volts of electric energy. Very efficient self-defense tool which has an amazingly high chance to stun foes.
STATS:
When the skill is active, deals magic, electric damage. Stuns foes.
SKILLS:
Taser - When the handle is gripped, the thunderstorm begins.
[ ] Queen's Guard - A weapon which gives its wielder the ability to fight to the death in defense of that which they protect- and has the power to back it up.
STATS:
When below half health, or when morale is broken, unleashes an amber aura from the wielder. Provides total superarmor for a limited time.
SKILLS:
Harsh Buckler - A special ramming attack Maria can perform with this heavy staff. Will make nearly any foe buckle their knees and fall back.
Blood and Steel Meet Bone - When the user channels an amber aura, allows Harsh Buckler to instead be this attack. Elaborate amateur melee combo where the user flails their staff around, backed by pure power and adrenaline. Unleashes random spells on each impact.
[ ] Stubby Rapier - A shiny, brass rapier. Imbued with magical energy, for spell swords.
STATS:
50% dispel resistance.
[ ] Wood Staff - Training foci for magic. Not very good for much else. Most balanced weapon, and easiest for Maria to use.
[e] Iron Beacon - A big, somewhat heavy iron staff with a big lamp on the top of it. It lights up with magical light depending on what element is channeled into it. The panes of the lamp's windows are made of some kind of clear crystal.
STATS:
50% Time resistance.
100% Instant Death resistance.
50% Dark resistance.
Provides a balanced boost to magic attack and magic defense.
=U= ARMORY =U=
[ ] Casual Freeze Clothes - Casual, stylish villager garb. Bright blue shirt with a white snowflake stitched onto the front, and a tan jacket.
STATS:
50% ice resistant.
100% freezing resistant.
[e] Zephyr Bombshells - Premium, bomb-elemental fashion accessories which attach above the ears, making the user look like they're some kinda android from really old nineties animes.
STATS:
25% Bomb resistance.
Randomly summons kamikaze fluffles.
Makes befriending bomb-elemental fairies easier.
[ ] Snakeskin Eyepatch - Leather eyepatch that gets in the way, but may help on sunny days. Has a snake design on the outer face.
STATS:
50% Blind resistance
50% Dark resistance
[ ] Fulaffel - A fluffle that's kind, and will stay put on your head. Randomly summons friendly fluffles to help out.
STATS:
Randomly summons fluffle backup!
[ ] Donut T-Shirt - A t-shirt with a pink donut graphic on it.
STATS:
Randomly summons donuts in a large radius around the user, from above.
Doubles the power of healing items.
[ ] Small Jeans - Some small jeans for Maria. Kinda tight...
STATS:
User takes slight physical damage from rapid movements.
50% increased evade.
It's so tight, the pockets aren't a good idea to use.
[ ] God Empress of Mankind's Golden Treads - Huge gold boots that go up to her mid ankles! Yehahaah! Go Maria!
STATS:
50% Holy resistance.
50% Ice resistance.
50% Thunder resistance.
Boosts physical defense by 20%.
Increases stomping damage by 300%.
Decreases evade by 50%.
[ ] Scarlet Event Dress - A red and black dress worn by Remilia. It's small enough to fit Maria, though. It emanates the slight scent of wine and iron.
STATS:
50% Dark resistant.
-20% Water weakness.
-20% Sun weakness.
Boosts wearer's magic attack moderately.
Boosts the power and effect of life-draining or leeching skills.
=U= ACCESSORIES =U=
[e1] Hail to The Queen - A glorious ring with rubies, topaz and sapphire.
STATS:
15% Resistance to Fire, Ice and Thunder for each member in party. Includes self, providing 15% at base.
15% increase in spell power for each member in party.
[e2 ] Unwilting Crimson Rose - A pretty flower you can put in your hair! I- I think it's made outta plastic, or something…
STATS:
25% Fire resistance.
25% Ice resistance.
25% Thunder resistance.
-50% Holy weakness.
Slight boost to magical attacks.
=U= MISC. =U=
Magical Lens - When coupled with magic, this lens shoots non-elemental lasers. Gift from Marcus Kirisame.
Travel Bag - Item that grants inventory by holding more items. Wahaha! Eight slots.
Two Mana Potions - Alchemical blends which restore magic energy.
Sabbath Pamphlet - Dark brochure imbued with instructional magic, and desires from a land far, far away. Teaches Seduction to mages.
[ ] Lance Construction Brochure - Mass-produced lunar-grade instructions on how to cheaply and quickly construct lances of many materials on the battlefront.
SKILLS:
Construct Lance - Combine technical know-how with magic to create more lances. They serve as ammunition for Theimer, Lancaar, Yatsu-VB PL, Pzf. 98 Lanze, or Ultimortar anti-tank lance launchers.
[e] [LunarStorage: Recreational Model] - Allows extended inventory. Has an undefined capacity, but can't fit objects beyond a certain size. Allows Maria to draw any item at any time easily, as well as put them away. Exists as a square, red box of a backpack.
==o►o==
Hana, the Electric Fairy Maid - Snuggly fairy maid companion…! Healed by electric magic. Immune to electric stunning, 'cause yeah. Weak to earth, poison and darkness. Quick to become ill from poison.
SKILLS:
Little Zap - Basic electric magic. Zaps a target twice with static from above.
Random Electric - When pressured, uses random electric spells.
Electric Control - With true power, she's able to stun opponents into submission by touching them.
Electric Elemental - 300% electric resistant. 100% percent resistance to electrical stunning!
INVENTORY:
[ ] Hana's Fairy Maid Uniform - Stock standard uniform from the mansion! Cyan-tinted in places to match her hair color. Hoh…
[e] Crown of Frost - Royal garment of never-thawing ice. Surprise; you're the new holy roman emperor!
STATS:
50% Ice resistance
100% Freezing resistance
All melee impacts may chill foes.
[e] Worn Kimono - A soft, slightly frayed but nonetheless cozy kimono for Ha-chan to hide in during the winter time.
STATS:
200% ice resistance
-100% fire resistance
100% Freezing resistance
==o►o==
SHARED
INVENTORY:
[ ] (x3) Lunar Bunny Dress Jacket - Not actually a "bunny suit"! It's a suit's outer coat, fit with energy shields which add a second layer of expendable, rechargeable health to living beings it's attached to. Seems to only really apply to broad areas 'cause of some kinda specific material.
STATS:
Shield - Adds a static amount of shield, which takes damage instead of health. This hitpoint pool's resistances are as follows:
-100% resistance to electric, energy and laser attacks
-100% radioactive resistance
50% resistance to bomb damage
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
y'know i never feel like i fit everything into these chapters that i wanna fit… not out of a lack of scale either! but 'cause of my sequencing choices
but i've always been a fan of the way i end chapters and batches, it always gives me a lot of potential to work with regardless
any a' you still alive, out there? hoh hoh… i hope you're all doin' well. some of my readers have gone from highschool to college, and from college to work. crazy…
same for me, same for me. real shit!
there'll be another batch on christmas: look forward to it!
there's been a lotta fanservice in this batch… and by that i mean that one chapter of marginally fanservice! i kinda liked this trend of fan service immediately being punished by incredible violence, but it's purely coincidental - w -
i'm continually glad the discord link is primarily in the later chapters of this work. as it turns out, most people who can actually tough their way to the end of this odyssean epic are a li'l more perceptive and patient on average...
assume this is a compliment to you too, reader!
anyway yeah i've been writing a book lmao, it's a little harder than picking an idea and just goin'!
i had too many ideas, and it was very hard to settle on just one theme or one thing. but, going forward, i think i got some good ideas. i really shouldn't be overthinking it because it's not going to really sell no matter what, but i really want to say what i wanna say and finish it and be able to just call it damn good. i couldn't care less how it sells as long as it's a good read.
but, i've been enjoying myself with it. it's been difficult at times, but it's a kind of challenge and work i enjoy. y'know most people who i've told about it, they just kinda let out a huff and go "man, i'd hate to be in your shoes, that sounds like work," and it'd totally be a lot of just work to them, but it's more than just work to me
anyway…
this chapter pairs nicely with the rest, i'd think. i say this specifically 'cause rereading, i'd noticed some fun incidental foreshadowing and such which felt nice - w -
feels a little funny to indulge in fan-servicey things sometimes but these are very real concerns if so many young people were to party up for so long! especially 'cause this chapter was full of a lot of just travelling moments
in a ways it's a very "another batch" kinda batch but it has its own conflict and arc to it
the little moments of contrast and character vs. the resulting payoff of fanservicey stuff felt like a nice balance overall - w -
plus i enjoy the ways i've progressed the plot and theme while still having it feel natural and not like it's trying to rush into anything
and that's kinda important when doing plot: you want to say something with it, or show something, but you want it to be natural to the grounded tone where everyone's vibing too
i think i managed a good balance here
maybe next batch i can slot in summore incomprehensible memes, this was a pretty straight-forward batch
honh honh
See you all next time! And see you on Christmas… again!
