Elaenar was nervous as he made his way towards his captain's office. Lúthian smirked at Elaenar when he had informed him that Captain Thrandar wanted to have a private word with the elf soldier (Lúthian always reveled in it when Elaenar was in trouble). Elaenar didn't know what he had been called in for; only that Captain Thrandar had wanted to speak with him. He entered and his commander urged him to take a seat.
"I wanted to speak with you about the orc." Thrandar explained.
Elaenar's stomach dropped; had August done something bad?
"What can you tell me about this prisoner of ours?" Captain Thrandar asked.
"What do you want to know?" He asked nervously.
"Has he given you any trouble these past few weeks?"
Elaenar shook his head. "Not much, aside from petty obstinance sometimes."
"Has he been obedient?
"Mostly."
"Have you ever observed any malice or viciousness from the orc prisoner?" He pried further.
"No." Elaenar answered, shaking his head.
"Has he ever been vulgar or perverse towards you?"
"No,"
"Is he feeble-minded?"
"I don't think so," Elaenar answered honestly (on this point, he was still undecided).
Thrandar looked at the elf soldier skeptically. "I highly doubt, Elaenar, that you can have nothing critical at all to say about the orc."
Elaenar thought for a moment before speaking. "He is crude in manners, but I've improved them with discipline."
His captain raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that all?"
Elaenar was beginning to feel like this was more of an interrogation than an interview. "What more do you want me to say?" He asked his captain.
"Tell me truthfully, Elaenar, what is your honest assessment of this creature?"
Elaenar paused and thought for a moment before giving an answer.
"He is a base creature of mean understanding and modest faculties. His motives are simple and primal. But I have found him to be tolerable, agreeable even. And more than anything, I find him to be pitiable and wanting in leniency."
"I see," Captain Thrandar replied, nodding his head. He paused a moment contemplatively before saying:
"What is this creature's name? Snaga, I believe?"
Elaenar shook his head; "I don't call him that anymore."
"Oh?"
"I call him August now." Elaenar answered sheepishly.
"I'm sure you realize that this is a very unusual situation, harboring an orc prisoner among our ranks."
"Yes?"
"I had no intention of keeping the orc, but when you returned with Aeründal and Faenar after rescuing them from certain death, and it was revealed that you had employed the orc prisoner in your mission, I was moved by a sense of mercy. I believe you were as well?"
Elaenar nodded, affirming the presumption.
"And thereafter, it seemed cruel to confine him in a prison cell with no reprieve or distraction from his misery. I sensed that you felt the same. So, against my wiser judgment, I allowed for our prisoner to be paroled from his holding cell and put to work. But that decision hasn't been without controversy."
"You've received complaints?" Elaenar asked. He wondered where this conversation was going.
"Quite a few, at first. But not so much anymore. Of late, I've been receiving many questions."
"What exactly are you getting at?" Elaenar asked bluntly.
"Elaenar, do you know how old this orc is?" Captain Thrandar asked him point-blank.
Elaenar gulped; he knew this question was coming someday. "He says he's sixteen." Elaenar confessed.
Thrandar didn't look surprised, but he did look gravely serious.
"Do you believe him?"
"Yes." Elaenar answered truthfully. It was an uncomfortable moment; guilt hung in the air. It was terribly painful to consider all of the horrible things they had done to August. Thrandar sighed deeply and looked out the window before saying:
"I've decided that this can't go on, I can no longer act independently in regard to our handling of the orc prisoner; henceforth I must proceed within the framework of the law."
"Which means…?" Elaenar asked; he was starting to feel very apprehensive.
"I do not yet know. I am going to report to the war ministry that we are keeping an orc prisoner at our barracks, and they will advise me how to proceed in accordance with martial law. I am quite certain that the law will not deal kindly with an orc prisoner, which is why I have decided that we will appeal for amnesty for the prisoner."
Elaenar nodded; he was slightly relieved.
"I need you to bring Snaga to the infirmary for an examination. We need to obtain a physician's statement to confirm the orc's sex and relative age."
"Confirm his sex?" Elaenar repeated, horrified.
"Yes." Thrandar answered flatly.
"No! Absolutely not! I won't stand for it." He exclaimed.
"Excuse me?" Captain Thrandar growled.
"It's humiliating! I won't let you do that to him."
"Don't be ridiculous, Elaenar. You had no scruples when we stripped the orc and interrogated him."
It was a hurtful thing to say, to be reminded that he had played a role in August's torture. He ignored the accusation and protested:
"I don't understand, why is this necessary?"
"Because the prisoner's status under the law will be contingent upon his sex and age; and as you know, the law makes a great distinction between male and female."
"This is preposterous! You and I already know that August is a eunuch, why do you need a doctor to tell you that?!"
"Our knowledge on the matter is based on a brief encounter that we had with the orc in a dimly lit room. It will be the physician's job to determine the prisoner's sex, and if you truly care about this creature, as I can see that you do, then you had better hope that the physician finds for the latter."
In that moment, Elaenar realized: all of those scandalous looks that August had been receiving were about so much more than just his childish appearance. August's age and gender had been called into question over the past few weeks. Now that he thought about it, he realized that August's features were conceivably androgenous. His ambiguous features had aroused suspicion; in the elves' eyes, he was perceived as being too pretty (or more accurately, not ugly enough) to be a male orc.
"Go retrieve the prisoner and report to me in the infirmary in ten minutes. Unless you don'twant me to appeal for amnesty; in which case his fate will be left to whatever the war ministry sees fit to do with the orc."
Elaenar glared at his captain. He gave his commander one disgusted look before rising from his chair angrily and storming out of his office. As he walked down the hall his face felt hot; he burned with guilt over this task.
He found August sitting in a room playing chess by himself. He looked up as the elf entered, and his ears flattened at the obvious tension that Elaenar's presence brought into the room. In his private thoughts, Elaenar mused on how August's big, inquisitive eyes made him look naïve and innocent. He thought how harmless this curious little creature looked, playing a game quietly by himself. Why was everyone making such a fuss over one little orc, as if he were some dangerous menace?
"I need you to come with me to the infirmary. The doctor needs to examine you."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because Captain Thrandar is demanding it. The doctor just needs to look at you quickly; it's nothing to be worried about."
"But why?" He persisted in asking.
Elaenar sighed. He felt terrible, he felt like he was about to betray August.
"You need to understand," the elf said, taking a seat next to him at the table. "You may think that because I'm your warden that I control your fate, but I don't. You're under the jurisdiction of the law, do you know what that means?"
August shook his head no. He looked scared and confused.
"It means that no matter how much I may want to protect you, I can't intercede on your behalf against the war ministry. In the eyes of the state, you're still a hostile enemy. I don't want to see you locked up in a prison cell for the rest of your life…or worse. But you have certain…qualities. Qualities that could lend themselves to earning you leniency, and we need the doctor's written word to attest to that. So I need you to cooperate for your own sake. Do you understand?"
August gulped and shook his head no.
"Just trust me, alright? You trust me, don't you?"
August nodded hesitantly.
"August, before we go to the infirmary, I need to ask you something" he said sheepishly. "Is there anything you haven't told me about yourself? Is there anything about your…identity, your personhood, that you'd like to confide in me about?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you keeping any secrets about yourself that you're too afraid to share with me?"
"I don't understand." He was trembling now, Elaenar realized that he was only making things worse. He shook his head.
"Never mind. Come along; this won't take longer than ten minutes."
When they entered the infirmary, Captain Thrandar was there as well to enforce his order. The physicians' reluctance to have anything to do with the orc was obvious; the doctor's contempt for this particular subject was palpable, and he operated with an attitude of disgust throughout the entire ordeal.
The physician had August change into a patient's gown and bid him to sit on the examination table (which was so tall for August that Elaenar helped him hop onto it). It hurt Elaenar to see August's bewildered and scared eyes, obeying strange directives under the doctor's icy treatment.
The physician had him open his mouth and examined the back of his teeth (searching for the presence of any molars). Then he had the subject strip down to his waist (exposing his obviously flat chest) and looked underneath his armpits for pubic hair.
All of this was intimidating enough, until the doctor coldly instructed August to:
"Lay down on the table and spread your knees apart."
August looked horrified; he froze.
Until this moment, Elaenar had never considered August's feelings so acutely before; of coursehe was ashamed to be seen naked.
Elaenar remembered vividly the contempt that he had felt for Snaga that very first day that he had met him, when they realized that he was a castrated orc. Elaenar had been completely indifferent to Snaga then; in his eyes, the orc had been nothing more than a slimy, less-than-human creature who inspired no pity. But those sentiments seemed so vile to Elaenar now. It hadn't occurred to the elf then that August had feelings, and that he might be embarrassed, ashamed, and distressed to be stripped and exposed to strangers. But Elaenar's callous heart had changed so much since that day, and he was sensitive to the fact that August felt violated by being asked to lay down for a clinical examination by a disdainful doctor while being watched by Captain Thrandar and Elaenar.
When August didn't do as he was told, Captain Thrandar gruffly barked at him:
"Snaga, do what he says."
Tears formed in August's eyes; he shook his head no and trembled and started to cry.
At that moment, Elaenar lost his temper. He flew into a rage and started screaming and cussing at his commander (in elvish). The physician promptly stormed out of the room in disgust as they started arguing with each other.
"Don't you dare undermine my authority in front of an orc!" His captain thundered in elvish.
"His name is August, and I won't let you subject him to this goddamn humiliating examination; its cruel and unnecessary; how can you possibly demand such a thing!?"
Captain Thrandar, in an unusually aggressive move, grabbed his subordinate by the wrist and dragged him out of the infirmary so that the orc couldn't watch them fight with each other.
"If you don't make that little creature comply, then I will go ahead and submit my report to the war ministry without requesting amnesty. You can either make the orc obey, or you can tell him that he can go back to being locked up in a prison cell for all eternity."
"This is despicable, you should be ashamed of yours-"
"Enough!" Captain Thrandar roared. "I will hear no more from you." He promptly stormed away; Elaenar returned to the infirmary and August was just as distraught as when he had left him.
"August, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The elf tried to comfort him, holding him. "We didn't mean to upset you; it's not our intention to harm you, not even Captain Thrandar." He tried to explain.
"I don't want to be looked at!" August sobbed through his tears. "I never wanted anyone to know."
"I know, I'm sorry August. You didn't deserve what happened to you. I'm so sorry for what those evil orcs did to hurt you."
August shook his head. "They didn't do it to me." He sniffled in between his sobs.
"What?"
"They didn't cut me," he confessed through his tears. "My mother did."
Elaenar felt time stand still. It was as if his world came to a screeching halt; the elf stared at him in shock as he absorbed the words that had just come out of August's mouth.
"August, what did you just say?" the elf whispered.
But he refused to repeat himself; he simply nodded as the tears streamed down his face.
Elaenar thought he was going to be sick; he desperately wanted to ask more questions, but he knew that wasn't appropriate; he didn't want to upset August any further. Elaenar had always been curious to know how ithad happened, but he'd had too much decency to ask. He had always assumed August had been castrated during an episode of torture, or perhaps it was a punishment from his wicked master. But never in a million years would he have guessed that August's own mother had been the one to mutilate him. How could any mother, even an orc one, hurt her own child like that?
With this revelation, a new insight came over Elaenar: it must have happened when he was very, very young. It was quite obvious that August had never gone through puberty. That would explain so much: his narrow shoulders, his slight frame, his juvenile features, and his lack of any pubic hair. His voice had clearly never dropped. In a way, August would never truly grow up; not in the way that a normal adult was supposed to.
He continued to cry tears that flowed down his face; Elaenar felt terribly sorry that they had put him in this state, but he was equally determined that August would not be handed a life-long prison sentence without mercy. He knew it was questionable what he was about to do, but he felt that he had no choice.
"Hush now, it's all right. Here, swallow this. It will make you feel better; it'll calm your nerves."
Elaenar handed him some tablets from his pouch. Once August was dazed enough, Elaenar encouraged him to lie down and rest. He rushed out of the infirmary to go get the doctor; Elaenar practically had to drag the physician back to the examination table; they argued fiercely but Elaenar stood his ground and demanded that the reluctant doctor perform his duties.
When it was done, the physician signed a statement giving his professional opinion on the subject's probable age and sex. He coldly handed it to Elaenar who gruffly snatched it out of his hand and hurried to get August out of the infirmary as quickly as possible. He put August to bed and went to report to his Captain's office.
Before submitting the statement to his captain, he read it for himself: it reeked with contempt. The doctor estimated the orc's age to be between fourteen to seventeen years (not surprising); as for the other matter, he wrote simply: "eunuch." In the body of the statement, he had written a sneering paragraph about how an orc's age couldn't be reliably determined by conventional methods (checking for the presence of molars) owing to that race's abundance of physical deformities.
"Here's your statement." He said angrily as he slammed it on his captain's desk. Captain Thrandar coolly looked up from his desk to meet Elaenar's glowering stare. Thrandar's stoic and calm demeanor only served to agitate Elaenar even further; he was itching for a fight.
"Do you have something you'd like to say?" Thrandar asked coolly.
Elaenar trembled with emotion. He could feel his fiery temper boiling the blood in his veins. He tried to control his rage just enough to speak concisely and effectively.
"August isn't some unfeeling creature that you can abuse and humiliate without regard for his feelings. He's fully capable of shame and emotional pain, and your callous treatment only served to prove that."
His captain stared at him for a moment emotionlessly.
"Have a seat, Elaenar." Thrandar said calmly. Elaenar, reluctantly, sat down at his officer's desk.
Thrandar rose only for the purpose of going to his cabinet to pour each of them a drink; a goodwill gesture that implied he had no intention of arguing with or scolding his subordinate. The captain offered him a glass filled with a modest amount of hard liquor. Elaenar resented the gesture because it made him feel like he was being pandered to. It was slightly humiliating to be pacified with a drink; it felt like a subtle jab at his alcoholic tendencies. Thrandar knew his soldier all too well.
"I admire your sense of compassion. It's a quality that I don't often see in you." Thrandar said as he sat across the desk from his subordinate.
Elaenar's face flushed red; a part of him was embarrassed to be so protective on behalf of an orc. He was worried that people were going to start to think he was a lunatic.
Captain Thrandar held the physician's statement in one hand while he took a sip from his drink with the other. He skimmed over the note before setting it down on his desk and looking Elaenar in the eye.
"I think you are well aware, Elaenar, that it is never my intention to be needlessly cruel to any creature. Not even an orc."
Elaenar was embarrassed; he couldn't bring himself to look his commander in the eye. He silently nodded.
"But I fear that you have become overly invested in the prisoner's welfare."
"What does that mean?" the elf soldier bristled.
"We have an obligation to show mercy to even the most abominable of creatures, not necessarily because they are worthy of it, but because we are a moral people and a nobler race. But just because we act humanely does not mean that the object of our mercy is human. It is important to remember that orcs are not creatures like you and I, endowed with free will and the capacity for reason. I hope, Elaenar, that you are not harboring any delusions to the contrary."
"What are you saying? That I'm delusional?" He exclaimed.
"I am saying that you need to think carefully your assessment of this creature."
"Fine, I see how it is." Elaenar growled. "You may have a very low opinion of August; you probably hold him in contempt, but please just promise me that you won't let anything happen to him."
"I can only promise that if the prisoner remains obedient and does no harm, he can stay within our good graces."
Elaenar glowered in his seat; he looked away from his captain's eyes and took a sip from the drink in his hand.
Elaenar stared off into the distance, deep in his own thoughts. He traced the rim of this glass mindlessly with his finger.
"…have you ever wondered where they come from?" He asked softly.
"Who, orcs?
Elaenar nodded. "Yes, orcs"
Thrandar paused and cleared his throat before answering:
"No one knows for certain. But it is held true among the wise of the Eldar that many thousands of years ago, some Quendi* fell into Melkor's hands and were enslaved, and by slow arts of cruelty and wickedness, they were corrupted to become the foulest and evilest of races."
Elaenar thought on this for a moment.
"Do you personally believe this to be true, Captain?" He asked.
"No." Thrandar answered firmly. "God would never permit such a wicked thing."
(Elaenar observed that God permits many wicked things to happen on this earth, but he bit his tongue and refrained from saying so, because it was obvious to him that this theory about orcs was offensive and repugnant to Thrandar.)
"I am more inclined to believe, as many do, that they are beings animated by the spirits of evil Maiar*. Or perhaps even more likely, sentient beasts with human forms, devoid of souls."
"Like what, talking animals?" Elaenar asked, his eyes narrowed.
"Yes." Thrandar replied flatly. "I suppose that is one way of looking at it. But I do not trouble myself much by pondering on the origin of orcs, and neither should you. It is of no consequence where they came from, only that they exist and are the agents of their evil Lord whose will they are bound to serve."
Elaenar thought about all of the interactions he had had with August: the light in his eyes, his moments of intelligence, their long conversations, but perhaps most of all: the incredible pain that August was capable of feeling. The little creature that Elaenar used to disdainfully call "Snaga" wasn't the unfeeling beast that Elaenar used to take him for. August was capable of complex and acute emotion just as much as any other fully human person that Elaenar had ever known. No one else understood August, but Elaenar had seen a side of him that no one else probably ever would.
"August isn't a talking animal." Elaenar said defiantly to this captain. His commander shrugged.
"Well, even animals ought to have rights. Don't you agree?" Thrandar replied casually.
Elaenar was speechless; he could almost feel the sting of those biting words, it made him feel angry and offended. He realized then that no amount of arguing was going to change anyone's mind, so instead of losing his temper about the matter, the elf set down his drink and got up to leave without saying another word.
Quendi: was the name given by the Elves to their own kind while they still dwelt at Cuiviénen (Source: Tolkien Gateway)
Maiar: angelic and supernatural beings created at the beginning of the world,
Dear Einar: I want to thank you very much for your kind review. I would have liked to message you directly, but I was unable to do so because you do not have a fan fiction account, so I hope that you see this note. It was very motivating to get your encouraging feedback (by the way, your English is amazing). My apologies to you, and to everyone else who is interested in this story , for the long delay in uploading chapters. Thank you to all of you for your readership, it means a lot of me
