I do not own any of the internet personalities or memes presented in this story.
The Internet Police: Year in Review
The Grand Tour, Part 1
TamashiiHiroka, an American Internet Police agent in training, was sent to London by Chief Horner to act as a liaison to the British Internet Police. Dressed in a white blouse accompanied with a blue suit jacket, a red ribbon tie, and a blue skirt, the agent in training's mission was to convince the British Internet Police to allocate agents and resources to fight against Roxy's Green Army. One would think the British Internet Police could afford such an expensive venture considering that the American agent was speaking to the entire British Internet Police inside a portrait gallery, with the British agents themselves wearing traditional brown school uniforms. Portraits of the greatest Britons in history were hanging from its walls, with wooden desks cluttering the floor. In truth, the gallery was the entirety of the British Internet Police's headquarter. All the administrative work, physical training exercises, and meetings took place in this one room. Even the office of the Chief was in this room, consisting of only a desk facing the gallery's stage floor. And the interim Chief of the British Internet Police was seated at the desk as he along with the other British Internet Police agents were witnessing TamashiiHiroka giving her reasons as to why the British Internet Police should send an expeditionary force to Sylvania.
"During the 17th and 18th century, well-off English youths embarked on a pilgrimage through Europe's cultural heartland. This was known as the Grand Tour. It was a coming of age ritual that would immerse the youths into Europe's artistic and historical heritage. Their journey started once they crossed the English Channel, and once they finished their trips to Paris and Rome, they would understand everything about what it means to be a European," remarked TamashiiHiroka. "I would compare the Grand Tour to a Pokémon journey."
There were many groans in the audience. Once again, TamashiiHiroka was trying to link everything to Pokémon.
"In the Pokémon world, a boy or girl who reaches the age of ten embarks on a Pokémon journey. It doesn't matter which region the boy or girl is from. The result is the same. The boy or girl goes on this 'Grand Tour' of the Pokémon world to learn everything there is to know about Pokémon. They learn to appreciate Pokémon and the world they are living in," said TamashiiHiroka.
"And what does this have to do with Roxy and her supposed crimes against humanity?" asked the interim Chief of the British Internet Police.
TamashiiHiroka looked at the interim Chief with little respect.
"Let me remind you who I am again. My name is Louis. I own a fun channel on YouTube that involves traveling to exotic locations," said the interim Chief.
"And one of those places happens to be North Korea," said TamashiiHiroka with disgust.
"Shut it. It was a fun trip with waterslides and surfing. I would rather be in North Korea than here dealing with you," said Louis.
TamashiiHiroka was quickly losing her composure as she was getting hostile stares from the audience.
"I have irrefutable evidence of Sylvania's crimes against humanity," said TamashiiHiroka as she turned on her laptop and began searching for files on Sylvania's misdeeds.
"Isn't that the whole point of Sylvania's existence. Answering for humanity's crimes against nature," said Louis.
"You'll change your minds once you take a look at these photographs," said TamashiiHiroka.
The audience leaned forward on their wooden desks. What horrors were they about to witness? After all, Roxy was known as George Zazz's rottweiler during the Great Schism of America.
On a large screen, TamashiiHiroka's laptop showed various satellite photographs. They were of Sylvania's nature preserves.
"What am I looking at?" said Louis dismissively. "Looks like Sylvania is doing a good job protecting Mother Nature."
"Look closer," said TamashiiHiroka as she zoomed in on the photographs. "Why are there helicopters and tanks near Neuschwanstein Castle? I don't think the people operating them are there for a weekend excursion."
"Probably fakes," said Louis. "Satellites can be hacked, and I'll bet this photo is a phony. Just like your reputation."
The crowd started giggling. TamashiiHiroka looked on with anger at how they were treating the Sylvanian Threat as a joke.
"I'll show you more evidence," said TamashiiHiroka as she uploaded the next photo. "This is Venice, Italy. You can see soldiers vandalizing the City of Canals, hauling away priceless artifacts."
"So what? They could just be Green Army soldiers returning Venice back to its natural state. Why is this a problem again?" asked Louis.
"My point is that Roxy is dismantling the cultural treasures of Germany and Italy," said TamashiiHiroka.
"And why should we sacrifice our men and women to save some German castle and some Italian ditches?" asked Louis.
"Because European heritage is being threatened by the Green Army," said TamashiiHiroka with desperation. "Like the Pokemon trainers who gained enlightenment from traveling their Pokemon regions, these German and Italian treasures gave Europeans a chance to appreciate their place in the world. Future Europeans will be deprived of their history."
"I'm confused," said Louis. "Why should we care about this? Why should short-lived human artifacts take precedence over the eternal wonders of the natural world?"
TamashiiHiroka herself didn't know what she was saying. There were more disapproving murmurs from the crowd. Feeling dejected, TamashiiHiroka searched through more of the photographs for convincing evidence. She skipped over the satellite images that had artwork being plundered from Florence's Uffizi Museum and Berlin's Pergamon Museum. She needed images that had only Green Army soldiers committing acts against humanity. Much to her relief, there was one example that contained only Green Army soldiers in a less than ideal setting.
"Feast your eyes on this," said TamashiiHiroka.
An image came up which showed a Sylvanian zone of habitation. It was a heavily congested tent city in the middle of nowhere. Nearby was what appeared to be a recreation of a Roman town. From above, there appeared to be Roman soldiers lining up a group of what seems to be Germanic barbarians, with the latter dressed in dirty rags.
"This isn't the only image of the zone of habitation the satellite took," explained TamashiiHiroka. "The satellite took several images in quick succession. Watch what happens."
Playing the compilation of satellite photos as if the figures in the pictures were a part of a stop-motion animated film, TamashiiHiroka revealed what the Roman soldiers were doing to the German barbarians: whipping and stomping the primitives. A collective gasp filled the room.
"Now are you convinced?!" spoke TamashiiHiroka.
"No," said Louis.
"No?" said a stunned TamashiiHiroka.
"Take a closer look at the photos. What do you see just beyond the trees?" said Louis.
TamashiiHiroka took another look at the photos. She saw a camera crew just beyond the trees.
"They're probably filming the torture scenes to be broadcasted on their local channels as a warning to all traitors," insisted TamashiiHiroka.
"Look again," said an unimpressed Louis. "Look at the tents closest to the prisoners."
TamashiiHiroka gazed upon the tents. The top of the tents had the words "Cinema Awesome".
"In case you're too dumb to understand, this is a film production, and the Roman soldiers and German barbarians are just actors. And the Roman town is a film set," explained Louis.
"But… but…" stuttered TamashiiHiroka as she gazed upon the overview of what Louis described as a film set.
Louis saw the demoralized look on TamashiiHiroka's face. He had little pity for her.
"You come all the way to London from America, and this is the best you could come up with," said Louis in a mocking tone.
The audience laughed along with Louis at the expense of TamashiiHiroka's credibility. She needed to come up with a plan to restore her standing as an Internet Police agent. A spark of inspiration came to her.
"How about we send someone to visit Sylvania itself? We'll be able to get a view of Roxy's evil empire at the ground-level, capturing its vileness by sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste," suggested TamashiiHiroka.
"Good idea," said Louis.
"You're seriously?" said a delightfully surprised TamashiiHiroka.
"I'm serious," said Louis. "We'll send someone to tour Sylvania and gather evidence of Roxy's alleged wrongdoings."
"Thank you," said TamashiiHiroka.
"And is that all you wanted to ask of us," said Louis.
"It would be good start," stated TamashiiHiroka.
"Then we have no more to discuss with you," said Louis. "I'll take up your offer."
"Once again I thank you," said TamashiiHiroka as some members of the British Internet Police began to go back to their administrative duties at their respective desks.
"Don't mention it," said Louis.
"Things are looking up right now," thought TamashiiHiroka as she began packing her laptop back into her suitcase.
TamashiiHiroka's mission was to convince the British Internet Police to liberate German and Italian cities from Roxy. She failed.
"How could this happen?" thought TamashiiHiroka as she was standing in the middle of Piccadilly Circus on a rainy day, not caring that she was being soaked.
TamashiiHiroka got onto her mobile phone and started ordering Chunnel tickets to Paris.
"Hopefully, the French Internet Police will be more inclined to send an expeditionary force to Sylvania," said TamashiiHiroka with pessimism as she began walking through the streets of London, not bothering to open her Pokémon umbrella.
TamashiiHiroka walked past Londoners. With some guilt, she had hoped to see worried faces on these Londoners, a sign that they took the threat of Roxy's takeover of German and Italian cities seriously. Instead, she saw only Londoners going about their daily routines without a care in the world.
"It's going to be a while before the next train to Paris," thought TamashiiHiroka sadly.
With hours to spare in London, TamashiiHiroka retreated to the London Eye. After paying extra for a capsule all to herself, she boarded the massive Ferris wheel as rain was pouring heavily from the grey clouds above London. As the May showers continued drenching the London Eye and threatening to flood the Thames River, TamashiiHiroka sat on the floor of the capsule she was in as she recalled what Louis found out in Sylvania that ruined her credibility in the eyes of the British Internet Police. She held her hands to her head as she recounted Louis' verbal evisceration of her.
"How dare you?! You immature little girl?!" shouted Louis in her head. "Roxy is a good friend of mine now. And for you to continue your childish rage against her infuriates me to no end."
"But you have got to believe me!" shouted the past-self of TamashiiHiroka in her head. "She's a butcher and will stop at no end to sink Europe into a new Dark Age."
"Ridiculous," scoffed Louis. "I traveled throughout all of Sylvania accompanied by Roxy's bodyguards to all the sights in the new nation. What I saw indicated the dawn of Mother Nature's renewal from the corruption of man. As a matter of fact, you can view my entire trip to Sylvania on my main online channel, and you can even see my music video collaboration with Roxy herself."
"What?" spoke a crestfallen TamashiiHiroka.
"Don't believe me? Here, I'll show you," said Louis.
Louis got up to plug his laptop into the enormous television screen. All the British Internet Police agents and TamashiiHiroka witnessed the first pop music video to come out of Sylvania. It was called Rappin' in Sylvania. Many British Internet Police agents were waving their arms in the air as they were moving to the beat of Rappin' in Sylvania. TamashiiHiroka was horrified when she saw footage of Louis rapping alongside Roxy throughout the German and Italian cities occupied by the Green Army. They were rapping quotes like "making history" and "we are the world." It was sickening to TamashiiHiroka that Louis was such good friends with Roxy that he would make a music video with her. After seeing several clips of cheerful Sylvanians waving at the camera and surfing in the bright sunlight, TamashiiHiroka decided that her mission was a lost cause. Dejected, she made her way out of the British Internet Police headquarters.
"Bye, Felicia," said Louis as TamashiiHiroka angrily left the room.
Getting back to her isolation inside the London Eye's capsule, TamashiiHiroka thought about her purpose as an Internet Police agent.
"I can still hear the laughter from those British agents," whispered TamashiiHiroka as she sat on the floor while the rain was beating on the capsule's windows.
TamashiiHiroka got back up onto her feet to look at her mobile phone. On her phone she saw a flurry of messages coming from several people she didn't personally know.
"Hey, Felicia. Still playing Pokémon on your phone. Stop wasting time and go help Roxy," said the message.
"Is this Felicia? Sorry, I must have gotten the wrong number. I was looking for someone who didn't suck humanity's dick. Mother Nature for the win!" said another message.
Trying her best not to feel nauseated, TamashiiHiroka continued down the rabbit hole of messages that were continually popping up.
"Listen, Felicia. You and your imaginary Pokémon friends are the past. Roxy is the future. Get with the times," said another message.
"What kind of insults are these?" remarked TamashiiHiroka. "They must be trolls with nothing better to do with their lives."
Unfortunately, the source of these trolls would disturb TamashiiHiroka to no end.
"Felicia. Are you hiding from us after Louis' heroic defense of Roxy? That's unbecoming of an Internet Police agent. How about you quit being an agent and go back to playing Pokémon in your playpen?" said another message.
"These are from the British Internet Police agents?!" said a shocked TamashiiHiroka. "Unbelievable"
TamashiiHiroka slumped back down onto the floor, with the phone dropping out of her hand.
"I'm unworthy of being an Internet Police agent," said TamashiiHiroka as she tried ignoring the endless stream of negative messages from her phone. "All I wanted was to absolve myself of any guilt I had for not actively participating in fighting against Roxy and her buddies during the Great Schism of America. My goal of becoming an Internet Police agent started in Venice, California, and my employment at the Institute of Internet Studies was a stepping stone to becoming an agent. Maybe I'm not cut out for this harsh world."
She thought back to her days as an Institute of Internet Studies scientist. TamashiiHiroka was a leading expert on everything Pokémon related, and she was fascinated by how Pokémon captured the imagination of the whole world for generations. Maybe it was the appeal of going out on an epic quest around the world, an adventure that could be experienced with a portable device known as a GameBoy.
"Maybe going back to be an Institute researcher wouldn't be so bad," said TamashiiHiroka.
But then she recalled the negative publicity she received from the British Internet Police and how they would undoubtedly continue to bash her during her return to America. They would probably publish false claims about her fragile mental state and her child-like behavior due to her peculiar interest in Pokémon. She shivered at how far these British agents would go in destroying her completely for the sake of protecting their new ally Roxy Harmon. At best, she would be sent to a mental institute where her Pokémon obsession wouldn't harm anyone. At worst, she would be executed by Sylvanian sympathizers in America for daring to defy the will of Roxy.
"Why didn't I consider the consequences of failing?" thought TamashiiHiroka as she placed her hands over the shaking head.
She was breathing heavily as her heartbeats became more frequent. She needed to calm down. It would be her childhood that would be her savior. It would be Pokémon.
"People may think of Pokémon as a cheesy Japanese cartoon catering only to children, and that's fine. But to me, Pokémon was my lifeline during my turbulent teenage and young adult years. I was a struggling student who couldn't function in a hyper-competitive world, and my house was a war zone," said TamashiiHiroka with a sad smile. "To cope with a cruel world, I turned to Pokémon. I didn't think of them as bits of data or disposable creatures but as my friends."
She shed a tear that she promptly wiped away with a dash of her finger.
"They were always there when things became tough, and during my teenage years, these times were often. And my Pokémon friends didn't care about my insecurities or my tumultuous life. They just saw me as a friend. And Pokémon taught me life lessons like compassion, patience, and empathy, and I took these lessons to heart when I made friends in the real world and built a career on YouTube," spoke TamashiiHiroka. "But through my newfound success, I never forgot my Pokémon friends who made it all possible since the time Meowth taught me how to read. And they comforted me when I was on the run during the Great Schism of America when Frank and Roxy were massacring Americans in towns big and small. After my fiasco with the British Internet Police, I need them now more than ever."
TamashiiHiroka saw small beams of light piercing through the cloudy London sky. After being inundated with messages on her phone condemning her, she felt a glimmer of hope in her body. Maybe there was a place for her in the world after all. With her fond memories of Pokémon soothing her chaotic mind, TamashiiHiroka picked up her phone and gazed upon it. She was optimistic that there would be one message that wouldn't be critical of her. Fortunately, she saw one that was calling out to her as a friend.
"Look at the capsule next to you," said the message.
TamashiiHiroka turned her head to face the capsule on her right as she faced the Thames River. It was empty.
"The other way," said the sympathetic message. "And let's continue our conversation on a private line."
She looked to the capsule left of her. It was an Asian man wearing a brown coat, a white undershirt, brown trousers, and a tie with red and brown stripes.
"He must be an Internet Police agent," said TamashiiHiroka. "A male British Internet Police agent to be exact. The female British agents wear brown coats, a white undershirt, a red and brown skirt, and bowties of various colors. What's his name?"
TamashiiHiroka looked down at the sympathetic message and saw that the person who wrote it went by the online name Gigguk.
"Hello," typed TamashiiHiroka on her phone in responding back to this Gigguk man, this time on a private channel. "I can't talk to you verbally since we're on different capsules. This is the only form of communication for the time being."
A more cynical TamashiiHiroka would have expected Gigguk to reply with the words "Thank you Captain Obvious." Thankfully, Gigguk said a simple "That's fine" before moving on to the real reason he was here.
"I was sent by my fellow British Internet Police agents to stalk you and humiliate you even further. They gave me various posters designed to chastise you, and they instructed me to show you them just before you left London. Some of the posters displayed you and the Angry Video Game Nerd acting like cavemen in the basement and another showed you crushing puppies in a garbage compactor," wrote Gigguk.
TamashiiHiroka had her gasping mouth covered by her hand. But she felt relief as Gigguk was tearing up the posters within his capsule.
"I had to pretend to go along with their low opinion of you. It was the only way of locating you. I pretended to abandon my misgivings about Roxy after my failed diplomatic mission in Australia," wrote Gigguk.
"You were in Australia?" wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"Doing the same thing you were doing in the United Kingdom," wrote Gigguk. "By the way, did you see me during your presentation to the entire British Internet Police?"
"No," wrote TamashiiHiroka. "I didn't know who you were."
"Getting back on point, I was in Sydney, Australia, presenting evidence on the Sylvanian Threat. I asked for their help. They refused," wrote Gigguk.
"Why?" wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"Geography," wrote Gigguk. "The Australian agents argued that Australia was so far away from Roxy's holdings in Europe that the Sylvanian Threat was of no concern to them. And that's why they rejected my call, stating that Europe's mess was not theirs to confront."
"But at least you tried," wrote TamashiiHiroka. "Better than I have as you clearly saw."
Gigguk saw the disappointed look on TamashiiHiroka's face. Sighing, Gigguk rubbed his fingers over his forehead.
"I wouldn't say that your attempt of convincing the British Internet Police agent was horrible, but I would say that it needs more work," wrote Gigguk.
"What did I do wrong?" wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"I think you could have provided better evidence regarding the Sylvanian Threat. I overheard Louis saying that the photos were probably faked, with the satellites being hacked by the Russians. Perhaps a massive supply of photographs and videos could have been more credible to the British Internet Police rather than just the few you provided," wrote Gigguk.
"Anything else?" wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"You said that Roxy Harmon was a threat to the world, and yet, you provided a barebones description of how malicious she is. I would have brought in a witness with firsthand accounts of Roxy's brutality. I would have this person testify in front of the entire British Internet Police regarding the atrocities Roxy committed during the Great Schism of America," wrote Gigguk.
"I really messed up didn't I," wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"Don't feel too bad," wrote Gigguk. "I myself couldn't convince the Australian Internet Police to join us. So, we're all in the same boat with few friends to fight with us against the nation of Sylvania."
"Better to have one friend than no friends," wrote TamashiiHiroka. "Although memories of my Pokémon friends provided me with comfort before I met you."
TamashiiHiroka sent the message without pause. Realizing what she just sent, she blushed with embarrassment.
"He's going to think the wrong ideas about me, particularly of what type of relationship I had with my Pokémon friends," said TamashiiHiroka with shame.
"I know what you mean by your Pokémon friends. I'm not getting the wrong ideas. I know about your Pokémon obsession from the countless Pokémon videos you made on YouTube," wrote Gigguk, much to TamashiiHiroka's relief.
"You follow me on YouTube," wrote TamashiiHiroka. "I'm flattered."
"Whenever I'm in a nostalgic mood, I tune in to your channel for anything Pokémon related. I grew up with Pokémon like so many other children, and indeed, Pokémon was one of my first introduction into the world of Japanese anime," wrote Gigguk. "You see, it was because of Pokémon that I became a YouTuber specializing in the world of anime, from reviews of individual animes to the cultural impact of anime on society."
"You're an anime YouTuber?" wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"Yep," wrote Gigguk. "Anything wrong with that?"
"Not really," wrote TamashiiHiroka. "But to tell you the truth, I'm not really an anime fan. I was once upon a time, but those days are long over."
"That's a shame," wrote Gigguk. "Is it because of how repetitive the Pokémon anime has become these days? Or because Ash is still 10 years old through the magic of men in suits wanting to print money?"
TamashiiHiroka giggled.
"It's more along the lines of western society having a low opinion of anime and those who enjoy it," wrote TamashiiHiroka. "You saw how your co-workers mocked me for liking Pokémon, and the Pokémon anime is probably the safest anime any normal person can get into. Imagine how they would react if I got into any hardcore animes. From what I gathered, animes these days push a lot of boundaries regarding sexuality, violence, and social commentary. If you admit to liking anime in any public forum within the western world, you'll be outed as someone who has trash taste."
"Well if anime is trash, then so am I," wrote Gigguk. "In fact, I must be a bloody landfill considering how much I talk about anime on my channel. I think you're missing out on the diverse and multicomplex world of anime. How about you give anime another chance?"
"I don't know. Some of the animes I watched as a child hasn't aged well now that I'm an adult," wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"How about I show you some critically acclaimed animes during our mission to convince the French Internet Police of the Sylvanian Threat?" wrote Gigguk.
"Our mission? You're coming with me to Paris?" wrote TamashiiHiroka.
"Is that okay with you?" wrote Gigguk.
The grey clouds were moving quickly away from London. The sun was shining brightly on the capital of the United Kingdom, bathing the city in orange and blue colors as it was descending over the horizon. With the sun setting, TamashiiHiroka thought about how she was all alone in London before meeting Gigguk. She had been trekking through the flooded streets of London without opening her umbrella. Now, she opened her Pokémon umbrella, displaying to all of London her affection for the franchise from the top of the London Eye.
"It's okay with me," wrote TamashiiHiroka with a smile on her face.
"Great," wrote Gigguk. "Now which animes should I show you on our trip to Paris? Attack on Titan? Or Steins;Gate?"
After being devastated by the Great Schism of America, Los Angeles was quickly rebuilt to its original form. Life was back to normal just as it had been before the Great Schism of America. But for many, the psychological damage was permanent. Many Angelenos resented how much the Institute of Internet Studies as headed by George Zazz destroyed their city. Unsurprisingly, the Institute's reputation was in shambles even with a new Administrator in charge. Administrator Forest Gibson was going to restore the Institute's standing as a peaceful organization dedicated to public education and the pursuit of knowledge. His plan was automation. More specifically, automated tour vehicles. To Administrator Gibson's knowledge, every company in Silicon Valley was investing in self-driving vehicles, and he knew that pursuing this venture would prove to the world that the Institute of Internet Studies was a paragon of innovation and progress. With tourism being a huge global industry, Administrator Gibson was inspired to implement self-driving tour vehicles in the world's greatest tourist spots. Inside what appeared to be a command center, Administrator Gibson was boasting about the potential opportunities automated tour vehicles could provide.
"These two automated cars are being tested with live passengers for the first time," said Administrator Gibson as he leaned against an observation railing. "Kristina, we are witnessing history in the making. We'll start by having automated tour vehicles give visitors a taste of Los Angeles. With the press deeming the L.A. tours a success, we'll expand our operations to the alpha cities of London and Paris. Soon, we'll have automated tour vehicles driving up to the Great Pyramids of Giza. What do you think Kristina?"
Chief Kristina Horner wasn't paying attention to the large screens displaying the insides of the tour vehicles, which were blue and black Ford Explorers. One screen showed a Ford Explorer approaching the Venice neighborhood, with its occupants being HurricaneAubrey, Jennxpenn, and an internet personality named Cody from AlternateHistoryHub. The other Ford Explorer was ridden by the Angry Video Game Nerd and two VCR repairmen named Mike and Jay, with their vehicle nearing the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
"Kristina?" asked Administrator Gibson again.
Chief Horner simply carried on with placing her fisted hand beneath her chin in deep thought, unaware that Administrator Gibson was trying to get her attention.
"Maybe she wants a detailed description of the tour vehicles?" thought Administrator Gibson.
Reaching for a model of a tour vehicle that was positioned above a computer monitor, Administrator Gibson went into a detailed description of the tour vehicle's features.
"Behold the Institute Explorers!" proclaimed Administrator Gibson. "These vehicles have state of the art sensors planted throughout its surface to facilitate the car's self-driving abilities. An onboard advanced computer can utilize these sensors to identify traffic lights, pedestrians, and the appropriate tourist spots to broadcast relevant information to the Explorer's occupants via a surround sound system. Trusting in the reliability of the Explorer's navigation skills and its outer shell durability to withstand a rampaging rhino, the tourists inside are free to enjoy the comforts of luxury with comfortable leather seating, a mini-refrigerator containing water and other refreshments, a medical kit for dealing with emergencies, and a computer monitor that the visitors can interact with to find out more about the city they are visiting. It's a beauty to behold."
Administrator Gibson continued with how future Institute Explorers might include amphibious vehicles that could travel the waters of the Nile, the Danube, and the Mekong Rivers. But Chief Horner wasn't paying attention.
"I have an important call to make," said Chief Horner.
"Okay," said Administrator Gibson, a little disappointed that his old colleague was looking disillusioned right now.
Chief Horner hurried out of the control room, finding herself inside a narrow hallway. With no one passing through right now, Chief Horner could make a call to reality.
"Currently, TamashiiHiroka has failed in her mission to convince the British Internet Police of the seriousness of the Sylvanian Threat. They all treat Roxy as an ally," spoke Chief Horner as she folded her arms in deep contemplation. "Well not all of them. TamashiiHiroka has one British Internet Police agent supporting her all the way to Paris. Maybe she and this agent will have greater success convincing the French Internet Police to help us deal with the Sylvanian Threat. I was quite disappointed by how the British Internet Police wants to make peace with Roxy Harmon considering what she did in this very city I am standing in."
She thought about the Plebeian massacre at the Getty Center, of which Roxy spearheaded along with her now dead partner Frank Murdoch.
"Are the British Internet Police agents so close to Roxy that they are willing to dance to an atrocious music video or is there something more than meets the eye?" thought Chief Horner. "Maybe they are doing so out of fear?"
Once more, she recalled how Roxy conducted killing sprees in the later stages of the Great Schism of America.
"One cannot easily forgive such a transgression without hard evidence. And I don't think Louis' government-operated tours conveyed much confidence in Roxy's intentions for a better world," said Chief Horner. "I think the agents are afraid of Roxy. Fear is a rational response when dealing with a girl like her. I wonder what these agents think about the Nostalgia Critic being a friend of Roxy's?"
Speaking of the Critic, Chief Horner was at a loss for words when she first heard about the Critic's betrayal. Why would he do such a thing? Internally, she was trying to find the exact reasons for his treasonous act. There were many who blamed her for not giving the Critic enough credit for his role in bringing down George Zazz, and as such, the Critic turned to his former nemesis for attention and support. Chief Horner didn't believe this was the reason.
"Perhaps the Critic is working as a double agent, gathering information about Roxy and planning her downfall from the inside," said Chief Horner. "I believe that he is intelligent enough to pull off such a scheme. When all is said and done, he will spring his trap and allow the Internet Police to bring Roxy to justice. How he will accomplish this will be seen in the next few weeks? I think Jennxpenn's hypothesis that Roxy used a high-tech machine to brainwash the Critic is preposterous."
"Everything okay, Kristina?" asked Administrator Gibson.
Chief Horner gazed upon Administrator Gibson as he was poking his body through the hallway's door. She hastily took out her mobile phone.
"I'm still preoccupied right now," said Chief Horner.
"Being a Chief of the Internet Police does involve a lot of responsibilities," said Administrator Gibson in an understanding tone as he left Chief Horner alone.
On her mobile phone, Chief Horner saw countless news clips praising Roxy as a savior of the environment, and the Critic as a charitable man whose generosity has only increased due to his allegiance to Roxy. Apparently, Roxy was a darling in the eyes of the mainstream media for being a woman of action with a large internet following.
"We need someone to counteract Roxy's popularity with the mainstream media. A female internet personality with many followers and whose videos are hip with the masses," said Chief Horner.
Chief Horner paced back and forth for a few seconds before coming up with a solution.
"I'm going to promote Jennxpenn from Internet Police agent to Supreme Commander of an anti-Sylvanian organization called the Innovation Alliance," stated Chief Horner as she headed back into the control room.
Jennxpenn was raiding the mini-refrigerator on Institute Explorer 04, with the vehicle stopping at the Venice neighborhood with its small collection of canals. With the entire backseat all to herself, she had been drinking cans of soda in quick succession, dropping the empty cans onto the car's floor even though the car was equipped with a small trash container. She moved on to drinking an entire bottle of Napa Valley wine along with a humungous cheeseburger, with ketchup packs and other condiment items being tossed onto the floor. Jennxpenn's Internet Police uniform was stained while HurricaneAubrey's uniform kept its immaculate appearance. As for Cody from AlternateHistoryHub, he was wearing a black leather jacket, a black shirt, black pants, black sunglasses, black socks, and black sneakers. Cody and HurricaneAubrey were in the driver's seat and the front passenger seat respectively as they snuck glances at Jennxpenn's consumption practices, with them resembling parents who didn't know what to think of their kid's habit of staining the car's luxurious upholstery. Still, it was better than having to watch and listen to the commercials playing on the car's computer monitors.
"I love our modern world. So many conveniences," said Jennxpenn as she stuffed the rest of the cheeseburger into her mouth before finishing the rest of her wine bottle.
HurricaneAubrey and Cody looked awkwardly at each other as they ignored the movie advertisements being played. In order to secure funding for the L.A. tourist trips, the Institute of Internet Studies was forced to get sponsorship from Hollywood film companies, with one of the conditions being that ads for the latest Hollywood movies needed to be played throughout the L.A. tours. An ad was being played for a remake of the classic film Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
"This looks good," said Jennxpenn as she saw footage of a group of shrunken-down high-schoolers trying to survive being squashed by their gigantic teachers and friends.
"It doesn't have the charm of the original," thought HurricaneAubrey, with the original film being one of her childhood favorites.
"The effects look kind of off," whispered Cody to HurricaneAubrey. He then turned to face the live camera behind him. "Can we get moving now? I believe that we're here for the L.A. tour, not to feed into Hollywood's ego."
Cody stood halfway up as he was knocking on the camera's screen while breathing heavily on it. He was trying to convince the control room to get the tour moving again. Back in the control room, Administrator Gibson didn't know what to think as he saw Cody continuing to knock and breath on the camera.
"Hello? Anyone there?" asked Cody to the crew in the control room.
"I really hate that man's hypocrisy," said Administrator Gibson as he saw Cody from AlternateHistoryHub returning to his seat.
There was next an advertisement for a live-action remake of Toy Story.
"This looks amazing," said Jennxpenn, though with less conviction in her voice.
Cody and HurricaneAubrey didn't know what to think of the uncanny valley of the toys rendered into a real-world set. They thought it would be best to avoid looking at the screen.
"Can we get moving now?!" said an annoyed HurricaneAubrey.
Unfortunately, there were still more ads to go as they were witnessing movie commercials that spoiled the entire movie, with a remake of Citizen Kane being announced.
"This looks boring," said Jennxpenn.
After the last of the movie trailers concluded, Institute Explorer 04 began moving again.
"As stated by the tour guide on the computer, Los Angeles' Venice neighborhood was a failed project intended to replicate the romance of Venice, Italy," said Cody. "Just think of how different Los Angeles' reputation would be if Venice had been fully realized in southern California. Of course, it was an ambitious dream doomed to failure because the automobile supplanted the desire for slow-moving gondolas. It reminds me of Atlantropa."
"Atlantropa?" questioned HurricaneAubrey.
"Atlantropa. It was German architect Herman Sörgel's dream of eliminating the Mediterranean Sea as a means of expanding Europe's farmland and provide an abundance of hydroelectric energy to the continent," said Cody. "It was his vision to remove all the water from the Mediterranean, but interestingly, he wanted to preserve the city of Venice, Italy. He believed that Venice needed the sea to survive for cultural and tourism purposes, and thus, he would make an exception of his land reclamation plans by providing Venice a dam that would sustain the city's access to water. This source of water would be the only remnant of the Mediterranean left in the region."
"Fascinating," said HurricaneAubrey as Jennxpenn looked on with disinterest. "And what would happen if Sörgel's vision was achieved?"
"What do you think would have happened?" questioned Cody, curious to see what HurricaneAubrey's response would be.
"I would imagine it would be like land reclamation projects in the Netherlands and other low-lying regions. Humans expanding their terrestrial holdings against the raw power of the seas, constructing the framework of basic civilization on their newly acquired territory," said HurricaneAubrey. "But something like Atlantropa, that is an entirely different story. For one, who knows how drastically different the environment would be if an entire sea like the Mediterranean was relocated?"
"Sörgel intended to transport the water to central Africa," said Cody.
"That amount of water being dumped onto central Africa… it would be earth-shattering for the animals and people living there," said HurricaneAubrey. "Let's not forget what would happen to the southern Europeans who relied on the Mediterranean to survive. It's not just Venice that needed the Mediterranean. What about the countries of France, Spain, Italy, Greece, and other European states that relied on the Mediterranean for commercial and sentimental value?"
"I see that you didn't just say that Atlantropa was an excellent idea that would propel Europe into the future. I'm quite pleased by your assessment," said Cody.
"You should think before you leap," said HurricaneAubrey. "But really, what would have happened if Atlantropa became a reality?"
"I outlined the consequences in a new fictional book I wrote, but to summarize, the land reclaimed by the Atlantropa project wouldn't be fertile at all. Instead, an enormous salt flat would replace the Mediterranean Sea, resulting in the Sahara expanding into southern Europe. Instead of being the savior of Europe, Atlantropa would doom Europe as millions of southern Europeans would flee their barren wastelands into northern Europe and the Americas. I suspect that many would also escape into central Africa where the remains of the Mediterranean Sea would be available to them," said Cody.
"And what would happen to the Africans already living there?" asked HurricaneAubrey.
"I think you already know the answer to this. But I'll give you a hint. Sörgel conceived the Atlantropa project in the 1920s," said Cody.
HurricaneAubrey understood what would have happened if Atlantropa forced Europeans to escape into central Africa. Jennxpenn, who stopped eating another round of cheeseburgers, shared her thoughts on the matter.
"Glad that I'm better than this Sörgel guy," said Jennxpenn. "He thought that being a racist man with a big ego would result in a utopia. No thanks. He and his other European contemporaries pretty much ruined Africa. Imagine how much better Africa would be if the Europeans just left it alone. I know I would have since I'm not a conniving, evil imperialist."
"You want to know what if Africa wasn't colonized by the Europeans?" asked Cody.
"Yes," said Jennxpenn. "I may get bored of history, but I want to see if I could have done a better job than these European losers."
"Very well," said Cody. "If you don't know by now, I specialize in the study of alternative history. History can be summed up as a series of events occurring on the river of time. People who study alternate history analyze theoretical rivers of time running parallel to our own. The existence of these alternative timelines is due to points of divergences."
"You lost me," said Jennxpenn.
"Simply put, the point of divergence you are asking about involves Europeans not colonizing Africa. How about we say that you are the point of divergence that convinces Europeans to leave Africa alone?" said Cody.
"Me? I like the sound of that," said Jennxpenn.
"Let's say you are a late 19th century European woman who everyone will listen to. The scramble for African colonies never happens because of a woman named Jennxpenn convinced the Europeans not to conquer Africa," said Cody.
"So, I basically saved Africa," said Jennxpenn. "Yay for me! Everything is now sunshine and rainbows in Africa."
"Not so fast. You may have stopped the Europeans from conquering Africa, but you haven't prevented a cycle of violence and underdevelopment on the continent," said Cody. "The Africans may be in control of their own destiny, but they still would have fought against each other for territory and resources. To put it bluntly, humans are naturally brutal, and your interference in the timeline hasn't changed that fact."
Jennxpenn folded her arms in frustration, upset with how she wasn't as omnipotent as she thought she was. Institute Explorer 04 was speeding past cars and dodging any potential pedestrians crossing the street. With faith in the Explorer's driving capabilities, Cody decided to give the two ladies a preview of his next book.
"I've been researching other alternative timelines, and the one I find most intriguing is a timeline where Germany wins World War One," began Cody. "We all know about the darkest timeline where Nazi Germany wins World War Two. Their plans for Lebensraum and their grand design for world domination. So many books, tv shows, movies, and online videos have discussed a world where the Nazis defeat the Allies that it has become a cliché. In contrast, not many people have considered a timeline where the Germans wins World War One, and that's what my planned book Pax Germania will cover."
"Let me guess, the Germans are evil and try to take over the world, massacring anyone who isn't a white European," said Jennxpenn.
"That's a common misconception. The Germans weren't the bad guys of World War One. There weren't any Nazis from 1914-1918. In my book, the Germans are humans just like you and me," said Cody.
Jennxpenn felt like she wasn't contributing anything to the conversation. As a result, she went back to munching on the refrigerator's food.
"I am an aspiring artist, and as a connoisseur of great art, I have come across several instances of 19th century German paintings portraying a desire for a united Germany, where all German families could raise beautiful German boys and girls in a fairytale setting," said HurricaneAubrey. "I believe that it was romantic paintings and music by composers like Beethoven that drove Germans to unite their country in 1871 after defeating the French in the Franco-Prussian War. It was France's desire for revenge and Germany's smugness about their victory in the Franco-Prussian War that was one of many factors that led to the First World War."
"Exactly, and in our timeline, I believe that Germany lost World War One the moment that they invaded Belgium, whose neutrality was guaranteed by the mighty British Empire. The Germans had hoped to knock the French out of the war by invading through neutral Belgium. Using Belgium as a grand highway for their troops, the Germans would capture Paris and force the French to capitulate quickly. With France neutralized, the Germans could swing their western forces eastward to face the antiquated Russian forces allied with the French. At least, that was the plan if the British, who stood by their agreement of protecting Belgium, hadn't decided to declare war on the Germans, thus ruining the Germans' strategy of seizing Paris," explained Cody.
"I remember how World War One propaganda posters encouraged young men to enlist to fight for the glory of the empire and their fatherland. It would be a romantic affair that would be over by Christmas," spoke HurricaneAubrey softly. "It was not to be with the reality of trench warfare. Men being killed wholesale in exchange for mere yards of dirt into enemy territory. It affected an entire generation, with the surviving soldiers coming home not in glorious triumph but more of a muted joy of simply being alive. I saw how the photographs and the paintings during the Great War illustrated the absolute horror of modern war with no filters. One painting was John Singer Sargent's Gassed depicting a row of bandaged Allied soldiers suffering the effects of mustard gas."
HurricaneAubrey took out her phone and showed a picture of the painting to Cody. He saw the oil painting with its haunting portrayal of soldiers blinded by the mustard gas attack, with biplanes conducting dogfights in the hazy sky. Cody paused to gather his thoughts before continuing.
"I imagine that an early end to World War One might have reduced the suffering. In Pax Germania, three generations of the same German family are depicted throughout the 20th century. The first generation has a young German soldier serving in the Great War. Since this is an alternative timeline, he sees the Great War reaching a rapid conclusion due to the German High Command choosing to invade through the French-German border of Alsace-Lorraine instead of Belgium. By not invoking the wrath of the British Empire, the Germans are able to quickly occupy Paris and force a French surrender. With the western front won, the Germans mobilize their troops eastward to defeat the Russians," explained Cody. "The German Empire wins the Great War, and the Pax Germania begins with the second generation of the German family reaping the benefits. In our timeline, the 20th century is widely considered the American Century. But in the timeline of Pax Germania, the 20th century is known as the German Century.
Institute Explorer 04 was self-driving through a neighborhood of containing several McDonald's stores, each with a large sign advertising that billions and billions of burgers and fries were sold worldwide. The neighborhood also had large electronic billboards advertising the latest Hollywood movies to a global audience, with superhero movies being a popular subject.
"Pax Americana," said HurricaneAubrey. "Pax Germania."
"Pax Germania. A world where Germany culture would dominate the 20th century. Eastern Europe would fall under Germany's sphere of influence. The Germans would annex large parts of central Africa from the British and French. And Imperial Germany could have been the first to split the atom and landed on the moon since they possessed the intellectual freedom that the Nazis lacked," said Cody.
"Sounds like hell on earth to me," thought Jennxpenn.
"I should emphasize that Imperial Germany didn't want to exterminate the eastern Europeans. Only to dominate them. Therefore, a large Jewish population would still exist in eastern Europe as Imperial Germany wasn't so keen on mass genocide," said Cody. "Without the trauma of losing the Great War, Germany wouldn't be receptive to the ideas of fascism, with Nazi Germany being a fantastical dream in this reality."
"Sounds like paradise on earth to me," said HurricaneAubrey. "Just think of the suffering that could have been averted without the Nazis to ruin everything. And that includes their architectural failures. I'll show you."
HurricaneAubrey looked up some fascist German architecture on her phone. She showed them to Cody. Much to her surprise, Jennxpenn decided to look as well.
"They look absolutely gross," said Jennxpenn. She saw the gargantuan fascist buildings of Nazi Germany. "What is that weird looking building that's like the U.S. Capitol Building's obese uncle?"
"That's the Volkshalle," explained HurricaneAubrey. "It was to be the centerpiece of Germania, the Nazi capital constructed to replace the decadent capital city of Berlin. Volkshalle was to function as a temple to German fascism, not dissimilar to how Rome's Pantheon was dedicated to the Roman gods. They say that Volkshalle's dome was so massive that it would have its own weather, with the breaths from thousands of Nazi members inside the building creating rain due to condensation."
"That would be a bummer if I wanted to stay dry on a rainy day in Germania," said Jennxpenn.
"To be perfectly frank, Volkshalle is a grotesque building that proves that bigger isn't always better. Some of the most well-known dome structures in the world are the Pantheon, St. Peter's Basilica, the U.S. Capitol Building, Hagia Sophia, and Brunelleschi's Dome in Florence. All of them have elegant structures and an aesthetic beauty that complement the surrounding cityscape. The Volkshalle has a gluttonous and overinflated dome that lacks geometrical beauty and is unsubtle in its placement in Germania," said HurricaneAubrey. "And its purpose was to make the individual feel miniscule and insignificant compared to the power of the Nazi regime, with the monumental dome symbolizing Nazi subjugation over the entire world."
"So, we both agree that Volkshalle and all fascist architecture belongs in the trash can of history," said Jennxpenn.
"Yes," said a smiling HurricaneAubrey. "I wonder if fascism would have emerged at all if Germany won the Great War, meaning that we wouldn't be discussing its atrocious architecture at all."
"Keep in mind that fascism might have still emerged in Europe due to bitterness from losing the Great War. In the timeline of Pax Germania, fascism would most likely emerge in France," explained Cody. "Think about it. France in this timeline lost the Franco-Prussian War and the Great War. They would want to avenge their fallen brothers in both wars with a victory against the Germans. I imagine another conflict erupting between France and Germany later in the 20th century, though I'm doubting if France would be able to defeat an enlarged German Empire."
Jennxpenn and HurricaneAubrey were imaging what a fascist France would look like. France already had a dictatorship under Napoleon Bonaparte. It wasn't much of a stretch to imagine fascism taking hold in a France defeated in the Great War and required to pay war reparations to Germany. Would the Eiffel Tower be torn down and replaced with an overblown version of Paris' Pantheon building?
"Of course, this is simply one scenario. We'll never 100% know if Pax Germania would have happened with a conservative German Empire and a fascist France. But it's fun to theorize," said Cody.
Institute Explorer 04 was now driving towards Santa Monica. As Cody dozed off to sleep, Jennxpenn gazed upon the famous pier with its iconic Ferris wheel.
"It was here where I had a pleasant visit from George Zazz's Institute Army," said Jennxpenn in a sarcastic tone. "Seems strange to be riding in an Institute of Internet Studies vehicle considering what they have done to Los Angeles during the Great Schism of America."
HurricaneAubrey remembered the time she and the Nerd were in Los Angeles when George Zazz announced the beginning of mass killings throughout America after the death of his son Henry Zazz.
"There were plans for George Zazz to construct a massive mausoleum to his son nearby the Santa Monica Pier. Can you imagine walking along this pier and seeing a structure like Volkshalle?" said HurricaneAubrey.
"It would be an eyesore," said Jennxpenn.
"I was here when George Zazz declared to the world that he would engage in slaughtering any Americans who didn't fit his perfect world. Supposedly, it was for revenge against the death of his beloved son. However, I think he didn't love his son considering the tenuous relationship he had with him during the final days of Henry's life. He might have felt some sorrow, but I believe he quickly got over it and recalled his son as more of a failure. Indeed, the death of Henry provided an excuse for him to carry out massacres with a legitimate reason," explained HurricaneAubrey. "George Zazz did take more of a liking to Roxy Harmon, elevating her to be his adopted daughter. His most faithful servant and most likely successor."
"And now Roxy Harmon is in charge of German and Italian cities," said Jennxpenn. "Wonder why she would become an environmentalist? She doesn't strike me as a tree-hugger."
"I don't know," admitted HurricaneAubrey. "It's all speculation. We do know that Frank Murdoch was murdered by her."
"Why?" said Jennxpenn, not looking upset at Frank's demise.
"Once again, we don't have a reason right now," said HurricaneAubrey. "And that's not getting into why the Nostalgia Critic would join her. We are faced with a point of divergence where we can go into two directions: believe Roxy has changed for the better and leave her in peace or fight against Roxy who has hijacked the environmental movement for her own ulterior motives."
HurricaneAubrey and Jennxpenn pondered their next course of action. They remembered their conversation with Cody about the nature of alternative history. There were points of divergences made by people like the two agents that altered the timeline, and the results were unpredictable. For the Atlantropa timeline, it was the end of European civilization. In the timeline where Africa was never colonized by Europeans, the continent remained underdeveloped compared to the rest of the world. As for the Pax Germania timeline, it appeared to be a more peaceful world without the rise of fascism in Germany, who used this ideology to horrific effect. The two agents were going to alter history, and what would be the consequences of their decision.
"Roxy could create a beautiful new world with the Critic by her side," admitted Jennxpenn. "She might have been reformed from her old ways. I don't believe it, but the mainstream media is fawning over her."
"I don't believe that Roxy changed either. In my opinion, she is just using environmental fears to push her own agenda. She has no intention of creating paradise on earth," said HurricaneAubrey. "When I was in Los Angeles during the Great Schism of America, I saw firsthand how vicious she could be. You might have heard about how the Nerd and I rescued Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa from the Getty Center, but I didn't go into detail of what we saw before we reached them. There was blood all over the paintings and sculptures, and I saw the bodies of the Patricians and Plebeians piling up like a perverse commentary on human nature. I can still see and hear the child soldiers dying in the hallways of the museum as they shouted for the slaughter of all Plebeians and the glory of Roxy Harmon. There was nothing the Nerd and I could do as they delivered their last breath. To be honest, I really don't want to go into full detail of the Getty Center massacre."
"I understand," said Jennxpenn.
"As you already know, we were cordially invited by Administrator Gibson to take this grand tour of Los Angeles as a vacation away from our plans to liberate Germany and Italy from Roxy," said HurricaneAubrey. "I thought our analysis of the War of European Succession could wait. But here we are talking about it."
"The only way to put our minds to rest is to take the fight to Roxy and put an end to her dark intentions for Europe," said Jennxpenn. "How long it would take and at what lengths is of no concern. All that matters is bringing her down."
"And I will join you in that fight," said HurricaneAubrey.
A point of divergence has been made. HurricaneAubrey and Jennxpenn were joining forces to rebel against Roxy Harmon, the Nostalgia Critic, and the entire nation of Sylvania. This reconciliation between two former rivals was confirmed by a handshake. HurricaneAubrey got up from her seat and turned to face Jennxpenn, offering up her hand as an olive branch. Jennxpenn accepted.
"This is the beginning of a new relationship," said Jennxpenn. "What's our first course of action?"
The first test of the bond between HurricaneAubrey and Jennxpenn would occur when Institute Explorer 04 was struck with a heavy object.
"Woah!" shouted Jennxpenn and HurricaneAubrey.
"What was that?" said Cody as he woke up with a yawn.
HurricaneAubrey saw they were in the Beverly Hills neighborhood. Looking in the car's mirror, she saw a rhino running past several cars at top speeds.
"There's something you don't see every day," said Cody.
"Must have escaped from the zoo," said HurricaneAubrey. "Luckily, the car did protect us from being impaled."
"Um, HurricaneAubrey. I think we also need to look out for the sharp fangs and tusks coming our way," said Jennxpenn as she looked out at the back window.
There was a stampede of wild African animals that appeared to be the big five game animals: cape buffalo, elephant, leopard, lion, and rhinoceros.
"Let's get out of here!" shouted Cody as he reached for the door handle.
But the driver's door wouldn't open.
"I shouldn't have suggested that the cars needed to have a locking mechanism," said HurricaneAubrey. "It's a safety measure for keeping guests from wandering off and getting lost. Not so much when a horde of wild animals is charging at you."
"There's only one thing to do. Brace for impact," said Jennxpenn.
One rhino was enough for the Institute Explorer to handle. Multiple animals of the African savannah knocked the vehicle upside down and right side up several times, with the car becoming upside down in the end. HurricaneAubrey and Jennxpenn were unscratched despite the car's glass shattering everywhere. Cody wasn't so lucky.
"Cody!" shouted HurricaneAubrey.
With Institute Explorer 04's glass broken, HurricaneAubrey dragged Cody out of the vehicle with Jennxpenn following behind her. HurricaneAubrey placed her head along Cody's chest.
"I can still hear his heartbeat," said HurricaneAubrey. "Get the medical kit, Jennxpenn."
Jennxpenn headed back into Institute Explorer 04 for the medical kit. HurricaneAubrey heard Cody moaning with his eyes closed.
"Humans are driven to disagreement and conflict," said a barely conscious Cody.
"Just hang in there," said HurricaneAubrey as she saw Jennxpenn emerge from the car with the medical kit.
Watching from the top of the U.S. Bank Tower, the Nostalgia Critic was witnessing smoke rising from the streets of Los Angeles.
"Yes man. Man will sodomize your hamster if he could. Man also likes to spend most of his time destroying things because he is worse than the Devil if he was a pedophile," said the Critic.
"Have we released the African beasts?" questioned Roxy's voice on the Critic's mobile phone.
"The beasts have been released from the trucks," said the Critic.
"Good. Los Angeles brings back some fond memories, Critic," said Roxy. "Let's hope for another Cecil or Harambe. That will really show how evil man is."
"Anything to help our cause," said the Critic.
"Beautiful sight isn't it," said Roxy.
The Critic put on his binoculars to examine the mayhem down below. He then saw Internet Police agents HurricaneAubrey and Jennxpenn riding a jeep.
"We have trouble," said the Critic.
"What is it?" asked Roxy.
Please review this story to provide me some advice on improving it. What other internet personalities or memes should the Internet Police encounter?
