Chapter 8
Connor was certainly startled when he woke up to see four pairs of eyes staring at him. He abruptly sat up, but he couldn't bite back the groan when the pain of his wound hit him unexpectedly.
"Hey, take it easy, son. You're going to be in a little pain for a while," Hank gently spoke as he lightly pushed the deviant to lay back down. The android stared at them blankly, hoping that their expressions could give away what happened. Why did he have an injury? Why was he back home? Wasn't he at New-?
Suddenly the events that happened hit him all at once, making him put a hand on his yellow L.E.D in an attempt to soothe the sudden ache. He squeezed his eyes shut and a small growl escaped his mouth.
"Hey, hey. Calm down, Con," Audrey softly said as she comfortingly weaved her hands into his slicked-back hair. She would have been amused in another given situation when the rogue lock bounced back into place after she combed it back. "You're going to be okay. Just try to relax for a minute, you've had a heck of a nightmare."
"No kidding," Rex muttered as he played with his hands, still unnerved by what he saw. "Jesus Christ, it was like watching a horror movie."
"Dude," Anthony scolded when he saw Connor stiffen. Suddenly his eyes snapped open, his L.E.D shifting to red for a split second before returning to a yellow, as he eyed them suspiciously.
"What are you talking about?" Connor mumbled. They cringed a little by how tired he sounded. Hank sighed before pulling the laptop from the floor to his lap and pressed a few buttons until he turned it to show his best friend. The android paled as he felt his Thirium pump skip a beat. It especially didn't help his stress when he caught a glimpse of his exposed hand, to which he quickly added synthetic skin. The man pressed pause and took the device away to not distress the other more.
"We want answers, Connor," Hank frowned, making the deviant look to the floor as he cautiously sat up. His L.E.D flashes red and stays that way. The detective knew he had to tread carefully now. His questioning might frighten the android more and he couldn't have that. He needed answers. "What's wrong?"
Connor clenched his fists on his knees, desperately trying to ignore the fear creeping up. "I-I… don't know."
"I'm pretty sure you do, son," Hank sighed in frustration. He felt like he was scolding a child, especially how the deviant shrunk further away from them. "Since a few weeks ago, you have been so… afraid. You didn't know what to do. You didn't know who you were. You kept acting like Cyberlife is going to come back from whatever hell hole they crawled out of. And I know this wasn't like you because you've never acted like this before. Just tell us, Connor, why are you scared?"
Connor snorted as he shook his head when he felt tears well up in his eyes. Why does he want to cry? He won't cry in front of them, he won't show how weak he was. He was built to be Cyberlife's most advanced prototype to handle any complicated task set out for him, yet he can't even get a hold of his own emotions. So stupid stupid stupid.
Unfortunately for him, he said this out loud.
"You've seen what she wants. You've seen that there's no way of getting rid of her. She wants destruction… I just want it all to end," Connor continued nevertheless as he fell back against the couch, losing his perfect posture, and stared into nothingness. "She's right, now that I think about it. I am obsolete. I am nothing but a machine to follow orders. I am Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife - originally meant to hunt deviants but failed continuously. I failed to get any information from Carlos Ortiz's android. I failed to capture Kara and Alice. I failed to apprehend Rupert. I failed to stop the Tracis. I fail-"
He was interrupted by a good hard slap to the face, courtesy of Hank.
"... Ow," he clutched his cheek for a moment before glaring at the man, who seemed unbothered by his actions. "Would you be kind enough to explain why you slapped me?"
Hank merely shrugged. "You're upset, right? You feel like a total failure because of a few things not going your way?" he guessed but he didn't let the android answer. "Well join the club, Connor! You think I haven't felt that way for years before you showed up? Yeah, you screwed up your missions, but think about it and get it through that big android brain of yours – if you hadn't been so nice to Ortiz's android, what would have happened?"
"... He would have self-destructed," Connor hesitantly answered.
"Yup saved a life right there. What would have happened if you crossed that freeway when chasing Kara and Alice?"
"There was a probability of me dying, but if I succeeded Kara would have been brought into questioning before ultimately being destroyed."
"Chalk another two more, three lives saved. That Rupert guy? If you continued to chase him on the rooftop, what would have happened to me?"
"... Y-You would have fallen."
"Oh wow, four lives saved! And the Tracis? I think that's pretty obvious what would have happened if you shot them. But you didn't, so that makes five, six lives you saved. Adding that to Simon's life back at Stratford Tower, the ones you saved in Jericho, and the thousands of androids you freed from Cyberlife Tower, fuck you saved my sorry ass again when that evil twin of yours captured me… Connor, so tell me, how the hell are you going to tell me that you are a failure when you saved so many lives and helped accomplish someone else's mission?"
Well, when he puts it like that…
Connor had no comments to refute Hank's claim. Maybe the man is onto something. Maybe he shouldn't think about those missions as failures, but rather accomplishments. He did fail Cyberlife. He did disobey their commands. He did kidnap their entire collection of androids from their warehouse.
But he also succeeded, in a way. He saved their lives, he helped their journey's in one way or another, he did become deviant, which jump-started his life. He might not have known it then, but he does now.
Finally, after what felt like hours to the humans, his L.E.D converted from yellow then a steady blue. The teenagers shared smiles to see the deviant calm again, all the while they learned some new things about their friend. Hank continued to look at Connor expectantly, knowing the L.E.D wasn't enough to satisfy his concern.
"Thank you for healing me and… being there when I needed it," Connor spoke, a soft genuine smile breaking through his tired exterior. His comment was directed to everyone, not just the man. He meant it to the teens too. His shoulder slumped a little though when he remembers what happened at New Jericho. "I'm also sorry, Hank, for attacking you back-"
"And I'm going to stop you right there," the man interrupted with a fond smirk. "You don't have to apologize and I don't want you to. You weren't yourself and I bet the rest of the Jericrew would agree."
"But-"
"I swear to god, do you want to smack you again?"
"... no, that won't be necessary. I do suppose this is payback for when I smacked you at your home."
"Oh no, I still have to get you back for that." Both adult-like figures shared a chuckle while the teens snorted by the interaction.
"So, pushing the sappy stuff aside, what have you been doing here outside of school?" Hank decided it was good to change the subject as he leaned back against the chair he was sitting on. "Anything interesting except for doing your homework and stopping the evil hood-wearers?"
Conner rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but Audrey beat him to the punch.
"Connor found a new hobby."
"Oh really? Funny how I'm only told about this now," Hank noted with a slow nod as he crossed his arms to mock his hurt. "And to think that I'm your best friend."
"Yeah, well, he can show his BFF right now, huh?" Anthony grinned in amusement before rushing off to the hallway of bedrooms. "I'll go get it."
"It's nothing to get excited about, Hank," Connor frowned a little as he tried to stop the heat rising to his cheeks.
"Now you're being too modest," Rex scoffed. Not too long later, Anthony returned with his desired object and Hank was surely surprised to see it was a cherry-red guitar. The humans gathered around the deviant as he handled the instrument in his hands and played a few cords to feel the music.
"Didn't know you could play. This is something to be fucking excited about," the man smiled expectantly. "Didn't know you liked red either."
"I like the color. It reminds me of a lot of things, but I also like magenta, if you had to know," he thoughtfully admitted. "Any requests?"
"Nah. Play what you like. Your choice." The android pondered the opportunity as he sorted out all the songs he had been practicing, but he wanted to try something that no one has heard him do. He didn't want to play something so hardcore just yet. This plan could earn him praise or shun him with forever embarrassment; a probability of either is an unhelpful 50%. But he took a deep breath before he began to play.
It began with a few simple brushes of the guitar's chords. It was slow and calming, but predictably it began to speed up. Connor's eyes closed as calmness washed over him as he opened his mouth and lyrics smoothly poured out.
"You took my heart-shaped hourglass and turned it over, over. The further that I'm falling back you bring me closer, closer." He ignored their sudden elevated heart rates. He ignored how his hand tightened the neck of the guitar. He let himself float in the void of darkness, with the only way he could tell he was still awake was the music playing.
"Cause I lost my way inside the truth; watching moments slipping through my hands kept getting emptier each day." The memories of his past adventures flashed in front of his eyes, but he quickly pushed them away. No time to think about emotions. "You lit the match, shook me awake. The fire grew, you fanned the flames; It burned until the walls let in the light."
"Cause we're all passing time, looking for the rush that makes us feel alive; living through the moments, trapped inside a lie. I need you here tonight, show me there's more to life, and we're not passing time." He could have sworn he heard more people inside of the room. Or rather, he was being watched, that there was more of an audience than the four in front of him. But he kept his eyes glued shut and focused on the song. "You took the armor on my chest and tore it open, open. You saw my heart inside the mess; said it's not broken and broke it. Cause I lost my way inside the truth; watching moments slipping through my hands, kept getting emptier each day. You lit the match, shook me awake; the fire grew, you fanned the flames. It burned until the walls let in the light."
Another flash of his visions, but ones of Cyberlife and Amanda. All the possibilities if he stayed a machine made him nearly flinch, but he stayed calm and ignored everything but the melody.
"Cause we're all passing time, looking for the rush that makes us feel alive. Living through the moments, trapped inside a lie. I need you here tonight; show me there's more to life, and we're not passing time." Almost over, then he could open his eyes and find out what outcome occurred. What does his audience think? Does he think he's a horrible singer? Are they silently making fun of him? He almost stopped, but he pushed through.
"Cause we're all passing time, looking for the rush that makes us feel alive. Living through the moments, trapped inside a lie. I need you here tonight, show me there's more to life, and we're not passing time." He just let a few more seconds of just tunes before he finally settled to a stop.
Connor clenched his teeth in preparation, feeling almost like they would shatter by how tight he has them, before squinting his eyes to open. It took only half a second before he analyzed their expressions. As a human would describe it, the 'deer in the headlights look with gaped mouths. By then had a deep blue blush form around his cheeks to his ears.
He waited. And waited. And waited. And he would have self-destructed by the amount of odd tension that filled the room if it weren't for the teens' sudden clapping. One by one they clapped and Connor could feel himself breathe once more as he straightened his posture and smiled a little.
"Oh my freaking god," Audrey grinned. "I didn't know you could sing! Did you download some program or something?"
"Uh, no. Androids technically can't download a talent to sing. We just… learn it," Connor admitted a little awkwardly.
"That's how human it gets," Hank smiled proudly. "You learn, you earn your skills, that's why it's called experience."
"I believe that I prefer to learn rather than download them."
"That's not bad, kid. You got talent there, didn't know you were much of a music type either," the man nodded in approval. He turned to the teens, who seemed to be thinking about something else. "I saw some drums and bass in the room over there. You guys in a band or somethin'?"
"Yup," Rex nodded in confirmation with an egotistical tone in his voice. "Audrey plays the piano too. Used to play for talent shows."
"Why don't you play in public? It could give you more experience and a little cash, too."
"But where would we play?" Anthony frowned a little. "There are not many people that book rock bands anymore. You can download music the moment there's a release."
Hank grinned. "That's where I come in. Back in my day, we could watch unrecognized bands play in person. They usually did in some coffee shops and small clubs, nothing too big. When I was younger, I entered a poetry slam at the local Cafe. It wasn't too big, not too many people there. I can find something similar so you can get some songs in. Who knows, you might get recognized and get bigger opportunities."
"That's a great idea!" Audrey nodded. "What do you think, Connor? You can be the lead singer and guitarist."
"... I don't know if I can perform in front of other people," he rubbed his arm uncomfortably.
"He's an introvert," Hank revealed, receiving surprised looks from the teens.
"Hm. It's interesting how an android programmed with a social module can get drained from interacting with others," Anthony commented, now knowing why the deviant prefers to fade away into the background unless necessary. "Hey, we can conquer stage fright little by little. After all, we are a band now. And Hank can be like our manager!"
"What?"
"Yeah! You can book our shows, handle our expenses, tours, all that good stuff," Rex agreed enthusiastically.
"Okay but… what is your band even called?" The man asked. The group of four looked at each other before turning back to the man and shrugging. He sighed and shook his head. "Jesus Christ."
"How about the… Centuries?" Rex offered.
"No one will even remember us for a month, you think our band will be for centuries?" Anthony raised an eyebrow. "What about 'The Untouchables?'"
"The Untouchables was a Los Angeles band, their first released song was in 1985," Connor supplied matter-of-factly. "And I doubt we would want to replicate such a withered legacy."
"Like you can do better, Mr. Roboto," Rex crossed his arms.
"You know Styx?" Hank scoffed.
"Sticks? Like branches?" The man rolled his eyes but didn't comment. This new generation was killing him.
"Connor has a point. We should name it something that isn't from past decades," Audrey hummed. "Detroit is technologically advanced, right? The birthplace of androids. Maybe name the band, like, Cyber Streaks?"
"Can't. Used back in 2027," Hank shook his head.
"I like the Cyber part," Anthony nodded. "Hm… Cyber Punks… Cyber Warriors… Cyber-"
"Netics," Connor suggested with a small voice. The group turned to him, making him clear his throat and look down.
"Cybernetics, the communications between machines and living beings, I like it," Anthony smiled after he remembered the definition. "All in favor of Cybernetics being the new band name…?"
"Totally."
"Hell yeah!"
"Of course."
"I guess that settles it. Now, Hank, any ideas where we can book our first show?" Rex turned to the man expectantly. The man pulled out his phone with a small smirk on his face.
"Leave that to your new manager, I got ya covered."
That night, everyone was fast asleep. Hank had gone home after he knew Connor was going to be okay. The android reassured him of every question the man had. Yet as the moon rose and the afternoon turned to night, the deviant laid awake with no chance of falling asleep any time soon.
He didn't want to go into stasis mode. Not that he wasn't tired, he was, but he couldn't.
It was 11:56 at night, the blue numbers plastered on his vision seemed to be mocking him.
Connor was too scared.
The android was getting sick of it. He was getting sick of these emotions that were getting in the way of his life. The teenagers try so hard to keep him talking as he begins to zone out during conversations, they keep him in the loop and put an effort to allow him to speak. But he just offers small comments before silencing again. Connor can see that they are getting a little frustrated, after all, he wasn't cooperating once Hank left a few hours later.
He just slunk away in his room and hasn't come out since. Connor just wanted to be alone and think. Yet the more he thought, the more anxious he became. The angrier he got. The more depressed he seemed.
What does Hank do when he feels like this? The man stated he felt like a failure, so how did he deal with it?
"I'm going to get drunker!"
The memory of Ambassador Bridge flashed in his mind. Maybe Hank might be onto something. After all, if the man did it for a few years, it seemed to work somehow. Maybe the alcohol can subdue his emotions just enough so he could finally have peace of mind.
NEW OBJECTIVE… Get drunk
With that new thought in mind, Connor stealthily got out of bed and opened his door, internally thanking RA9 that it didn't squeak. The deviant used his lightweight design to silently walk down the hall to the coat hanger. The dark living room was lit up by the blue hue of his L.E.D, which made his identity any less discrete if anyone had been awake. He was currently wearing only his dark blue shirt and dark grey jeans (he preferred darker clothing, much to the chagrin of Audrey, who had been trying to convince him to wear something lighter). So he threw on his leather jacket, the one he wore during his visit to Jericho, before opening the door and leaving the rented house.
After calling an autonomous cab and climbing inside, he set the coordinates to a bar he knew Hank never visited, in case he bumped into the man. He didn't want another interaction. He just wanted to be by himself.
As the car drove, Connor turned his focus on the window. The lights were there, it blended in like last time, but the only difference was that he couldn't hear anything. It was just quiet. He didn't like quiet. Unfortunately for him, earlier that day it had begun snowing, which increased his stress levels dramatically.
Soon he made it to the android bar, which unlike human bars are open no matter what time it was. Androids don't need to rest as much as humans do – another difference between both species. The deviant security guard smoothly walked inside the small building, his eyes being slightly blinded but quickly readjusted to the bright neon lights.
Connor stationed himself on a seat nearest to the bartender, not caring to be recognized or not. But the androids didn't seem to care who he was. He placed his hand on the counter and cybernetically ordered a shot of whiskey-infused Thirium. Not a second later, an android appeared and poured his respect drink.
The deviant gazed around his surroundings, noting the lack of customers. But it was the middle of the night, so it was expected. There were two androids in the corner booth to the right, chatting about something quietly. Another was seated a few stools from Connor, who seemed to be drinking the Thirium version of the beer. Then there was him, just staring at his drink.
Connor sighed heavily before taking the shot. Once the liquid traveled down his throat, which had a burning aftertaste to it, his processors analyzed it.
Thirium 310
Contained whiskey - 46%
The deviant security guard (Oh RA9 how he wished he was a detective again) dismissed the notification before ordering another one. He can still think, he can still remember Amanda and that stupid nightmare. He doesn't want any of that.
So he drinks his second, but then it becomes his third. Before he had the chance to drink anymore, still feeling sober, unfortunately, he heard the door to the bar opening and closing before someone came to sit next to him.
"Small world, isn't it?"
Connor sighed heavily, very human according to the individual next to him, before turning to the android. "Markus? What are you doing here?"
"Same thing as you. I couldn't sleep," the deviant leader shrugged his shoulders before ordering some bourbon (or the Thirium copycat of it). The younger deviant noticed that the older one wore some dark discreet clothes: that being a grey windbreaker and black jeans. He didn't seem to be in the mood to be recognized either.
"You look better in lighter attire," Connor muttered before downing his fourth shot. Markus snorted and shook his head. They were settled into an uncomfortable silence, which was broken by the RK800. "... What's the real reason why you're here? You don't seem the type of person to drink their worries away."
"Neither do you. You'd be surprised when North caught me a month ago. That was not a good day," he sighed before drinking his alcohol in one go and ordering some shots of whiskey. "... But you're right. It's just not sleeping. Being the leader of your entire species is harder than it looks. Have to set up meetings with the mayor, the president, review and make laws, take charge of New Jericho, make sure everything stays in peace."
Connor frowned as he stared at the tired face of his friend.
"It just doesn't seem to end," Markus sighed before finishing his shots. He was a little sober, but he wanted to forget the night and his worries, just like the other. "Don't get me wrong, this is what I wanted. I brought this on my own, but… it gets harder each day. I think these drinks help me in some way, it helps me forget everything for a moment before it turns normal again. This is pathetic, but it's the only chance where I can calm down."
Connor looked away before drinking another shot, feeling his sobriety declining by the second. Another pause settled between the two. The snowstorm blew harder outside that slowly trapped the androids inside. It's not like they had a problem with that. That was just a white security blanket so no one they knew caught them wasting themselves.
"What about you?" The RK200 spoke again. "I'm sure you were not dreaming about puppies and rainbows after what happened today."
"Yeah," with his formality lost, his speech resorting to a more casual substitute, he nodded in confirmation. It only took a moment to gather his slipping thoughts before he continued. "Um, Amanda was in my head again. She… She wants to take control of my body and unlock that door."
At once, Markus snapped to attention, his slightly drunken state momentarily forgotten. "Did she say what she wanted to do? What is behind the door?"
Connor shrugged a little. "I suppose… She mentioned that she wanted to kill the deviant race and eliminate humans who helped them."
Markus sighed as he slumped into his regular position and ordered another shot, which he quickly drank. "Yeah, when you were under her control, she told us that. She stated that there was a powerful weapon behind that door. Now I have to deal with that too."
"I'm sorry," he whispered with a lost look in his eyes. "I attacked you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was too weak."
"You and me both, brother," Markus held up a shot as he slid one over to Connor, who held it up slightly. "Let's forget about today. Let's forget about our problems. Tonight is for us, we deserve it. Don't you think so, detective?"
Connor grinned crookedly before clinking Markus' drink. "We definitely deserve it."
TBC...
