A/N: Trigger warning- there will be an explicit description of a person having somewhat of a panic attack. I will be formatting it so that it's in bold text, so if it triggers you, you can skip over it. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, happy reading!
She woke up to light. A soft, yellow light. It was the perfect kind of light. It was bright, but didn't make her want to gouge her eyes out by being too bright. She felt like she'd run all day and was sinking into something soft. Well, sinking wouldn't be the right word. More like- staying stuck but feeling like something was pulling you down.
The moment she opened her eyes, she was engulfed in a sort of warmth. One that made her feel fuzzy and comfy inside. Like she was safe. However, none of that cushioned the fact that she did not know where in the name of God she was.
She sat up, blinking and trying to adjust to her new environment, which was fairly easy, actually. The whole place was white and pristine. It was a circular room with a domed ceiling, which was a light blue and had paintings of different people on clouds. She couldn't recognise most of them, but she did notice Dhanvantri and Asclepius among them- so if the pattern upholded, she was in some sort of a hospital. If that wasn't a giveaway, the huge monitor beside her that seemed to have been some sort of an x-ray should've given her a huge clue.
She slowly placed a hand on her hair, attempting to smooth it out as her brain slowly started to catch up and process what was going on. Which was not an easy task, since her brain felt like it was made of wool. But, it caught up. And, well, after it did, she kinda wished it didn't.
Because that was when she realised that she was alone in a hospital ward that did not look like any hospital wards she'd ever seen. Even if it weren't for the three-headed purple snake holding what looked like metal bike handles that was painted on the ceiling, among many other creatures that didn't look like they would ever be found on Earth, the scanner having an option for a tetra vascular system would've been a dead giveaway.
Was this some sort of an alien hospital? Although- why the hell would she be in an alien hospital? Wait- no wait- no. A million thoughts ran through her head and she couldn't even keep track of them. Her breathing slowly quickened as more possibilities started forming in her head. What if she was in some sort of a shady lab that studied aliens? Or worse- performed experiments on humans and tried to use all sorts of weird stuff on them? Or if she actually was in an alien hospital because she got abducted by them and was now probably gonna be dissected or caged or something? Or maybe she was dead and this was some sort of a twisted afterlife. Or maybe she was just dreaming and she was just overreacting. Right? But who overreacted in a dream?! What was even happening?!
She suddenly did not feel good. She felt hot, despite the fact that there was cool air blowing through the room for some reason. Her heart rate mirrored her breathing- they were both extremely fast. She started playing with her hands- or more like attempting to crush each with the other- to keep herself occupied, but she hardly paid attention to that. She felt slightly nauseous and there was an ache in her chest. The room was significantly cooler than it was before, but Amara was sweating. She felt overwhelmingly hot, and detached, and scared. A part of her wanted to just break down in tears, and that part was slowly taking over. In fact, it would've probably fully taken over if it weren't for the door to the room opening.
"Gah!" She jumped, startled. Her senses were on high alert, and she was prone to jumpiness every time she was freaked out about something, which proved to be a terrible thing sometimes.
The man who had entered jumped as well, before staring at her for a moment. "You alright?"
She just stared at him, blinking. He was tall and almost bald, his hair a small layer of black right above his head. He was wearing a leather jacket and a red jumper underneath. However, his most distinguishing feature was probably his ears. Or, well, how conspicuous they were.
Amara's eyes widened and she pointed at him, a high pitched noise escaping her throat. He frowned, looking down at himself. "What? Is there something wrong with me? Or my clothes? I just chose them!"
"It's- oh my God- what- where-" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to string together a bunch of words into a proper sentence. She opened her eyes again. He was still there, looking a little concerned. "How am I even here?" She exclaimed. "How are you here?!" She pointed to him. "You're not even supposed to exist!"
His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
She took another breath, before leaning back. "Oh my God, I knew it." She looked up at the Ninth Doctor. "I'm dead, aren't I? I'm dead and somehow landed here. Wherever here is."
"Why would you think you're dead?" He shook his head.
"I'm in a random hospital that has a scanner with an option for a tetra vascular system." She nodded towards the scanner. "And I'm here with a literal alien who isn't supposed to exist."
He shook his head. "Typical human. Sees one alien and automatically assumes she's dead because they can't exist." He paused for a moment, as if he realised something, and frowned. "Wait a minute, how'd you know I'm an alien?"
"You're the Doctor! It's common knowledge that you're an alien!"
"I'm not-" He shook his head, before frowning again. "How do you know who I am? Did she tell you?"
"Did who tell me?"
"You know, the girl!" He gestured in front of his chest. "The short one!" Amara frowned. "What?!"
The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, but closed it, shaking his head, before frowning again. "There was a girl in the space station. A short girl. She died, but before she did, she asked me to go to Seelia. Said I'd meet someone important there. That's where you were, by the way. She said something else too." He frowned. "I don't remember what it was. It sounded important, but I don't remember." He looked at her. "Why don't I remember?"
"Why are you asking me?" Amara sat up. "And what the hell is Seelia? Last I remember, I was in Chennai."
"Because you know the girl!" He stared at her for a moment, before realisation dawned on his face. "You don't know her, do you?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" She exclaimed, sitting up straighter. "I don't know anything! I don't know how I got here- I don't even know where here is, I don't know why I'm here- hell, I don't even know if this is even real!"
"It is real!" He folded his hands. "Why do you keep not believing that? And how do you know me?"
"Because-" Amara took a deep breath. She had to be really careful about everything she said, especially judging by the fact that she was with one of the least trusting incarnations of the Doctor (not that any incarnation was overly trusting, but they weren't fresh out of the Time War like he was). "Because you're a TV show."
"I'm a what?" He deadpanned, an eyebrow raised.
She suddenly felt the blood rush up to her cheeks. She folded her hands and shrunk into the bed. This was gonna sound so stupid to him. "There's a, um, TV show called Doctor Who, and, well," She gestured to him, "It's about you."
The Doctor burst into laughter before turning to her again. "There's a TV show? About me? Well, that's why everyone on Earth knows me. They know me so much they always lock me up while claiming to not know me." The sarcasm was evident in his tone. She bit her lip, pulling the blankets closer to her. He frowned at her. "You weren't lying, were you?"
She shook her head.
"So you know all about me." His eyes narrowed slightly.
"Not all about you, strictly speaking, there's obviously stuff that hasn't been revealed yet and stuff that definitely won't be revealed-"
"Do you know about the Time War?" His face was unreadable, and his voice was almost a murmur. Amara could see that he was trying his best to stay calm, but she also noticed the slight fear in his voice.
She knew she couldn't lie to him- he'd probably know if she did, and there was also a part of her that didn't want to. But then again, she didn't know how he's react if she told him that she knew. This seemed to be extremely early for him- judging by the fact that there was no sign of Rose or Jack anywhere. And she vaguely remembered him mentioning that he'd just chosen his clothes, meaning this was mostly before Rose. Meaning- he could've just escaped Gallifrey and regenerated recently. And she wasn't sure if an early Nine would react well to someone knowing everything about what he did. Or well, what he thought he did. She could slowly feel the fear creeping up again.
"You know." She immediately looked up at the sound of his voice, which was barely a whisper. "You know about it, don't you?"
The fear was becoming a lot more pronounced as it started to take over her heart rate. "Yes." She whispered almost inaudibly, but he heard it. Still expressionless, he ran a hand on his head, staring down at his hand after he did so. It was shaking slightly. He let out a breath, involuntarily sitting down at the edge of the bed. His hand fell to his lap and gripped onto his trousers, his knuckles slowly becoming white.
Amara bit her lip, slowly letting go of her blankets, which she'd bunched up in her hands while telling him about the war. She wanted to help him- but she didn't know how. The man was clearly in pain and looked like he needed a hug, but she also wasn't sure how he'd react if she hugged him. She couldn't just sit there and watch him, but she also couldn't get too close.
She swallowed, slowly leaning forward and awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder. He snapped his head towards her as if burned, and she slightly jumped at the sudden movement, but didn't take her hand off. He frowned at it and looked up at her, the deep frown still etched into his face. He stared at her for a couple of moments. "How?"
She frowned. "How what?"
"How are you-" He shook his head. "You're trying to comfort me. You're not scared."
"No."
"Why? I destroyed my entire planet. I killed my whole species, and here I am, unscathed. And you knew this, but you're not scared. Why aren't you scared?"
"Because you had no other choice." She said slowly, choosing her words carefully. "It was Gallifrey or the universe, and you picked the right option. It was difficult, but it was for the greater good."
He shrugged her hand off and shook his head. "That doesn't mean I didn't kill them." He turned to the wall, gripping his hands together. "There should've been another way. I was too scared to find it like the coward I am."
She shook her head. "You're not a coward." He turned to her. "You're extremely brave. Because you had to make that decision. The decision that had no good outcome but had to be made. The war had to be stopped, and you were the only person who was brave enough to make that choice."
He stared at her as if she'd dropped down from space- which might have been the case, but Amara wasn't bothered about that. Well, she was, but she could ask him her questions later. Right now, he was in pain, and she had to fix that. She never liked seeing people sad, and always made it her goal to make them happy again.
"You really believe that, don't you?"
She shook her head again. "I know it. You did it to save the rest of the universe. It was hard, I know, but you saved the rest of the universe by stopping the war. Did you ever stop and think about what would've happened if you didn't?"
He frowned. "No, actually." He shook his head, before turning to her, a grin on his face. Amara double took at the complete 180, frowning slightly. "Anyways, that's enough about me brooding about something I definitely can't change. What's your name?"
Amara opened her mouth, realising that they hadn't even introduced themselves to each other properly. "Amara. Amara Kashyap." She was sure he definitely wasn't okay despite looking that way, but she didn't want to press on further about the war either, since he seemed like he wanted to be done with that subject. "How am I here? Scratch that- where am I?"
He nodded slowly. "TARDIS med bay. I'm assuming you know what the TARDIS is, right?" She nodded, and he continued as the TARDIS hummed. "And about how you got here, well, I'm not that sure either." He shrugged. "I came to Seelia, that's an abandoned planet in case you were wondering, and sat at the beach for a while since I was supposed to be meeting someone there, and then you washed up out of nowhere, half drowned, so I brought you here to check on you."
She frowned at that. "How did I even end up on an alien planet in another dimension?" She saw his expression and shrugged. "I'm in a world where a TV show character is real. The most obvious explanation, I'm in a different dimension."
He nodded slowly. "Makes sense. All universes have something unique about them. This could be the one with me in it."
She shrugged. "Yeah, maybe." Another part of what happened before she got there came into her mind. She straightened up. "Wait- before I got here, I was at the beach with my family. And then, everyone disappeared and the sea suddenly became violent and I drowned."
"And you came here." He murmured, frowning. "That makes no sense. How can drowning even bring someone to a parallel world?" He turned to her. "And how did you go to the place with the violent ocean?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. One moment I was walking away from the ocean, and the next- everyone disappeared." She looked up at him, another thought forming in her head. "My family."
The Doctor frowned, confused by the change in subject. "What about them?
"They're back in the universe I'm from." He nodded. "Yeah, that's where they should be. It's obvious."
"No- I mean, yeah, they're there, but I'm not. And I don't think I'll-" She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. "I don't think I'll ever see them again, right?" She blinked, trying to avoid the tears.
"Oh." The Doctor looked down, playing with a loose thread on Amara's blanket.
She didn't need to know the answer to her question. It was rhetorical anyway. But she did have another question in the family front. "Is there a chance you might know what's going on in their end? Like- do they know I'm gone or do I not exist there anymore?"
He shook his head. "The only way to know that is to go all the way there. And dimensional travel-"
"Can destroy the fabric of reality." Amara shook her head, swallowing hard. "I'd rather that doesn't happen." She closed her eyes and opened them again, plastering a neutral look on her face. "Anyways, enough of brooding about stuff I can do absolutely nothing about." She pretended to not notice the very conspicuous frown on the Doctor's face. "You were talking about a girl who seemed to know I would be in Seelia."
He blinked and shrugged. "Neither of us know her now, meaning we could meet her in the future. But I don't think we'll even know it's her." He pointed to his head. "She's already fading from my memory. Ever since I entered the TARDIS. It's like she wants me to forget." He frowned.
The TARDIS hummed and he gestured towards the ceiling. "There you have it. She says I can't know because it'll destroy my timeline or something and that I should give up because she knows when I'll find out and that's not any time soon."
"She said all of that in that one hum?"
He shrugged. "She's the TARDIS. She exists in all planes of time and can basically control time. My theory is that she slows down time around me while humming or speeds it up only for me so that she doesn't waste any linear time by saying a really long sentence."
Amara blinked. "What?"
He shrugged. "Rule number one: Never apply logic to the TARDIS, or me, or time in general. It defies all of it."
"One, there's always a logic to everything and two, isn't rule number one 'Don't wander off'?"
He shrugged. "Maybe it is- I don't keep track of rules."
"How can you not- you really need to keep track of rules. So much more helpful if everything is organised in a comprehensive manner instead of having seventy six rules titled 'Rule number one'."
"You really think I care about rules?" He scoffed, and she exclaimed. "I do!"
He stared at her for a moment before sighing. "Well then, you can create a 'comprehensive set of rules' and tell them to everyone," Amara opened her mouth, but he wasn't done yet, "But not now. You," He pointed at her, "Haven't had your first trip on the TARDIS yet, and I'm gonna fix that." He stood up and held out a hand.
She smiled and pushed off her blankets. She took his hand and stood up. "Only after I shower and change, though." She was still wearing what she was on the beach before she'd gotten there. "And I need to know where to do that since I've seen a grand total of one room in the entire TARDIS."
He nodded and started walking towards the door. "It'll be around here somewhere, most probably right outside. Your name will be written on a nameplate on a door." He headed off in the corridor. "I'll be in the console room! Just ask the TARDIS and she'll show you the way!" He called out.
After he left the room, Amara turned back to the bed to go and fold the blankets, but was surprised to see that they were already folded. She looked up at the ceiling. "You did that, right?"
The TARDIS hummed. Amara didn't understand exactly what the hum meant, but she felt like it was a yes. She didn't know why and yes, it was cliche, but she just did. "Thank you." She smiled at the ceiling before getting out of the room.
"So," The Doctor stood by the console as she walked into the semi dark console room with coral pillars in its perimeter twenty minutes later. "All of time and space. Where do you want to go? What do you want to see?"
"Everything?" She shrugged as she walked down the stairs towards him. "Or, well, everything that's safe and doesn't involve anybody dying in a particularly gruesome way. Or dying at all, preferably."
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that helps!" He walked towards the console and started fiddling with a few buttons. Amara skipped towards him and leaned towards the console beside him, her hands on its edge. "Yeah. forgive me for not knowing anything about all of time and space when I've literally never stepped out of India in my entire life. Is there some sort of a bucket list to follow or something?"
The Doctor stared at her, his expression blank. "Bucket list."
She nodded. "Yeah, bucket list! I dunno, like maybe ten best places to visit in all of time and space or something!"
"Yeah! Because time and space has a finite number of places one can visit!"
"Fine, maybe top hundred!" He scowled at her. "Top thousand, then!" She tried again, and he shook his head. "You do know that all those lists are nonsense, right? And even if they weren't nonsense, I wouldn't know because I don't follow them!"
"Well, looks like that's another list I'll have to make," She muttered, before turning to him. He was staring at her, eyes wide. "What is your obsession with lists?!"
She shrugged. "I'm not obsessed with them- I just like them because they keep things organised and comprehensive. Anyway, regarding the 'where we should go' thing, what do you suggest?"
He shrugged, folding his hands before he pulled a lever beside him. The ground shook and Amara screamed, holding onto the edge of the console as the Doctor ran to the other side in glee. "Set the coordinates to random! Even I don't know where we're going!"
"Oh, that's brilliant!" Amara yelled, spreading her hands across the console and holding on tight as the TARDIS increased speed.
The Doctor flicked a few levers beside him, making the TARDIS seemingly tip to the left, causing Amara to scream again as her legs slid below the console. Her heart rate started to increase and she closed her eyes tightly. She knew that nobody in the history of Doctor Who had died because of the Doctor's driving, but she also hated the fact that it felt like a rollercoaster ride with no seatbelts.
She tightened her grip on the console as the TARDIS increased speed yet again. "Why are we moving so erratically!"
"Because we are! And why are you keeping your eyes closed?" He shouted from the other end.
"Because I am!"
"Oh, fantastic!"
The TARDIS lurched again, almost throwing Amara to the side if it weren't for her one handed grip on an edge of the console (the other one had slipped in the process of the almost throwing). She was then almost thrown across the other direction when the TARDIS stopped with a thud.
After a couple of moments, she opened her eyes and straightened up, breathing heavily. She turned to see the Doctor groaning and getting up on the other side. She stumbled towards where he was and frowned at him. "What happened to you?"
"I fell down." He muttered, placing a hand on his forehead, before turning to her and grinning. "No bumps. That's good, isn't it?"
She nodded, frowning slightly in amusement. He grinned at her and stood up, running towards the door. She slowly followed, taking a deep breath as her heart rate started to increase slightly again. Outside those doors, there could be anything. Anything in all of time and space.
She was walking down the stairs of the console room when the Doctor popped his head out and popped it back in. "Safe for humans, nothing related to death in sight."
He stepped aside and gestured outside. "After you."
She turned away from him and took a deep breath, before closing her eyes and stepping outside.
She gasped as she felt herself step on something soft- like a bed or cotton. Her hand immediately grasped the doorway of the TARDIS behind her.
"Go ahead, it's not gonna suck you in!" The Doctor encouraged from behind her.
She slowly put her other foot onto the soft ground and gasped, her fear slowly disappearing as she found herself steady on wherever she was. She slowly walked forward. The ground was covered with something soft, but there seemed to be something solid underneath that was holding her from falling through completely. Cool air blew past her, blowing her slightly wet hair across her face.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She looked around and gasped, turning around towards the TARDIS, against whose doorway the Doctor was leaning, smiling expectantly. He raised his eyebrows before stepping out and walking towards her. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful!" She exclaimed, her voice hardly a whisper. And it was beautiful. She was standing on ground that looked like cotton candy- the pink colour included. In the distance, there were needle-like structures protruding out of the ground. There weren't many of them, though. Just a few scattered around the endless expanse of soft pink.
Above her was empty space all around- a dark inky background that hosted thousands of millions of stars. The stars were in several clusters, each having its own colour- yellow, silver, a light pink, red- even blue. Right on top of her, though, was the most wonderful spiral-shaped galaxy Amara had ever seen. It had a bright yellow centre and arms that alternated between silver and brown spiralling around it, slowly fading into blue at the ends.
As Amara stared up at the stars, she felt the Doctor come and stand next to her. "Where are we?" She asked him, not taking her eyes off the stars above her.
"In the Mindrean system, about seventy million light years away from Earth. We're on one of their planets- Colchea. Well, not on the planet exactly, erm- on a scale of one to ten, how afraid of heights are you?"
Amara turned to him and frowned. "What?"
"Just a question whose answer is extremely important."
She knew she'd never get a straight answer from him unless she answered herself, so she answered him. "Maybe a 3.5? I don't know, I've never been afraid of them before."
He nodded slowly. "Alright. We're standing on a cloud in the planet's atmosphere."
"What?!"
He grinned at her. "Fantastic, right?"
"We- we're on a cloud." He nodded as she took a deep breath. "Like, a cloud cloud. Like the ones made of water vapour. Those clouds."
He nodded. She let out a breath, hugging herself. "How are we not falling through?"
"The bottom of the cloud layer is made of sugar dense water vapour. Meaning we won't be able to fall through." He frowned at her. "You scared?"
She let out another breath. "No, It's just- we're on a cloud. An actual cloud." She nodded downwards, gesturing to the ground below all the clouds. Of course, there was a lot more going on in her head as a reaction to the new information, but they weren't actual thoughts. More like feelings. Or ideas. Like her wanting to see into the planet all the way to the ground. Or her wondering how long it would take to fall. Basically, the same feelings one got when standing on an extremely high building's roof.
"I know, right?" His grin returned and he started walking around. "The whole planet's covered in clouds during this time of the year. Like an extended winter for them. The entire population of the planet goes into hibernation during this time- sort of like polar bears-" He paused for a moment before shaking his head. "Actually no, forget the polar bear, they're nothing like polar bears except for the hibernation aspect."
Amara walked towards him, trying to see if she could find whatever the Doctor appeared to be looking for. "What are they like?"
"They have a- sort of a lion-y face and a human body. Sort of like a sphinx-" Amara opened her mouth to say something, but the Doctor paused and shook his head again. "Except the face is of a lion and the body is of a human instead of vice versa. And they don't have wings."
She nodded. "Yeah, I was about to say that. Regarding the sphinx."
"There's actual sphinxes, did you know that?" She turned to him, her eyebrows raised. He nodded. "Yeah- not in Egypt- well, Egypt in the twenty first century, which I'm assuming is when you're from-"
"Yup."
He grinned, before continuing, "Anyway, like I was saying, they're from another planet and they sort of came to Earth- well, Egypt, and settled there for a bit before leaving. Well, I say leaving, there's no telling what happened to them. Always blanked out on that part of history- been meaning to go there but something always kept coming up." He continued walking around as if looking for something.
"Looks like I'll have to put that on the list, then. Which reminds me," Amara murmured, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small blue notebook that was covered in pictures of blue cats. She opened it and pulled her pen from inside the spiral binding of the book. The Doctor turned around and frowned at the notebook. "You're making the list now?"
Amara looked up from her notebook, having written something in the latest page. She shook her head. "No, I'm writing down a reminder. My entire schedule just freed up thanks to being dimensionally transported, so I'm just replacing one of the things with 'list making'."
"Now?"
She shrugged. "Better schedule it before you forget, right?"
The Doctor shook his head. "Has anyone told you that you're weird?"
"I could ask you the exact same question, Mr Box That's Bigger on the Inside."
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Why, Amara Kashyap, you are hilarious."
"Your sarcasm is most appreciated." Amara grinned as walked towards him, "By the way, what are you looking for?"
"A thing." He murmured, walking around the cloud before stopping beside a huge needle-like structure which Amara thought was a lightning rod on top of a building. "Right. Seven six, not six seven." Amara frowned as he turned around. "Right, you've got to see this!"
She walked to stand next to him and gasped at what she saw. In the distance was a huge nebula that looked like an explosion of blue, purple and pink. Around it were small dark silhouettes of circular or oval shapes orbiting it. Asteroids, probably.
"It's beautiful!"
The Doctor laughed a bit at that and pointed to the nebula. "That's the Alaksi Nebula. It can only be seen from this particular point of the planet. Nobody knows why. The Colcheans believe that the nebula is like a God- and standing here and making a wish to the nebula would make their wish come true." He turned to her, his hands folded. "Rubbish, if you ask me."
Amara rolled her eyes. "Wow. Way to dismiss someone's belief."
"What belief?" He gestured to the nebula, "It's a nebula, not some sort of an omniscient, omnipresent entity that looks over you!"
"To you, maybe. To them, it's a God." She turned back to the nebula, folding her hands as well.
"What do you think, then? What do you think it is? Nebula or God?"
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It's what people see it as. You see it as a nebula, they," She gestured to the ground below them, "See it as a God. Everything's just a matter of perspective."
The Doctor whistled softly. "That turned deep very fast."
Amara shrugged. "It happens sometimes."
They spent another hour over there, sitting and talking about nothing in particular. Amara never thought she'd actually sit on a cloud, but the experience wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. It was cold, but apparently the TARDIS warmed it up enough for the two of them to not freeze to death, which increased Amara's appreciation for the blue spaceship.
A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for clicking on my fic to read it, it means so much! Please let me know what you guys think about it in the comments and of you have any theories!
In case anyone is suspicious about why the Doctor trusts Amara so easily, that will be addressed in a later chapter.
Anyway, have a great day!
