Chapter 5
Just a peck, was Mac's game plan. A quick peck and nothing that would move farther than that. The best laid plans were meant to unravel in an instant. And it had been 'just a peck' for exactly five seconds until she made to pull away and his lips followed hers. An arm came around her waist, a hand at the back of her head to steady her mouth against his that he plundered with reckless delight. She felt herself start to fight but when his warm tongue swept over her lower lip, her body craved more.
Harm felt her sweet surrender as a chaste kiss became, easily, the most passionate thing they ever shared. He'd kissed her plenty of times during their stint as a couple but, there was something about tonight that couldn't be quantified. It felt…new. As he had never kissed her before; like this was the first time he'd tasted her lips. Memories from a night on the Admiral's porch passed fleetingly through his mind while his hands roamed the curves of a body he had once mapped out at length.
He backed into the railing to steady himself for the kiss was so intense that his knees began to feel weak. Her throaty moan vibrated against his mouth, her body pressed into his and it was only the rumbling from inside that had them breaking apart for a moment.
It took a second or maybe two when Mac took his hand and led him away from the windows to a darkened corner where a small loveseat had been placed against the wall. She pushed him into it and wordlessly brought herself onto his lap, her knees coming to either side of his, her hands framing his face.
Even in the shadows she saw the darkening of his eyes, a sign that this was affecting him just as much as it did her. Her thumbs stroked his cheek, the smooth skin of a man who had recently shaved. He was still so sexy, it was unfair. A man his age shouldn't look so good, should feel so good and when he crushed her against him, she could feel the hard muscles, the bulk he added on. Harm was all man and a fantasy of that body covering her own made her tingle in all the right places.
They kissed again, she was powerless to stop her demanding mouth from wanting more of him and when they breathlessly broke apart it took several long breaths to steady her heart. "Kissing you never felt like this."
Her voice was so soft he almost didn't catch the words. "Like what?"
"Desperate."
"Is that a bad thing?" When she shook her head, he let out a sigh of relief. "I'm trying to figure out why this is happening now and I can't….We've had our chance and blew them all to hell."
"We didn't fight…We didn't stop each other from walking away." Mac took a breath and held it for a moment, hoping it would stop the tears she knew would fall. But, they fell anyway and he brushed them with his thumb like she knew he would. "I'm still in love with you, Harm. Heaven and Earth could collide and I will always be in love with you...I love you. I love you so much it hurts. It isn't fair."
"No it's not." He admitted.
"My heart can't take us splitting again. It hurts too much." It was hell for her to be vulnerable like this, he knew. The pain they caused each other through the years had left an ugly stain on their engagement that neither of them knew how to fix.
Harm was willing to try again, to patch all of the broken parts and be whatever she needed him to be. But, he couldn't spend another year, another month, another second with the bottomless emptiness that manifested itself at the oddest of times. He didn't want the pain anymore either.
"You weren't the only one hurting." He began in the softest of tones. If she could be vulnerable, so would he because bravado led to lonely nights and regrets. "I couldn't get you off my mind and once I thought I did, something would spark a memory. You're damned hard to get over, MacKenzie."
"Back at ya, Rabb." They kissed once, twice and a third time with a slow burning passion that had Mac groaning as his hands cupped her six. She missed that too, a touch that always made her heart race. "Let's get out of here, please."
