Nervous Kyouko tiptoed over to the large empty bed. She contemplated backing out of this but seeing as she had suggested it, she felt she had to go through with it. Large hands snaked around her waist and warmth pressed to her back. She sighed leaning into the chest as the hands toyed with the fabric of the oversized shirt she wore. Kana had helped her pick out pajamas on a girl shopping trip but when she had put them on alone in her boyfriend's apartment, she was too self-conscious to exit the bathroom. Ever the gentleman he had offered her the choice of any of his shirts to wear over the pjs Kana had purchased.
"You sure you want to do this?" He asked pressing a kiss behind her ear.
"No." She replied her confidence wavering.
"This was your idea." He said licking the shell of her ear.
Biting her lip, she hesitated to get into bed.
"There's nothing to be afraid of." He said then whispered in her ear. "I'll be gentle with you." The bright pink blush was just the reaction he'd been hoping for. "You'll go easy on me too, right?"
Tilting her head back she glared at his mischievous smile asking, "Why would I need to go easy on you?" Then she grumbled to herself, "I'm sure you've done this hundreds of times. With much prettier girls at that."
He smiled amused by her complaint. Her jealousy filled him with a sense of possession, but he wondered if she was hurt by the thought.
"Darling I assure you I have never done anything like this before." His voice was gentle and sincere calming her nerves. "I've never loved anyone before so I never would have agreed to do something like this."
Kyouko turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. His green eyes bore into hers trying to convey the depths of his affection for her. There was vulnerability in his face which made her wonder if he was just as nervous as she was. She leaned up to press her lips to his, her hands slipping into his hair. She let him press her down to sit on the bed and parted her lips so he could deepen their kiss. He tugged the blankets down as he crawled over her pushing her down into the mattress.
"You're distracting me." he accused playfully when he pulled away to catch his breath. "Come on under the covers." He said moving off her and motioning for her to crawl under the blankets he held up for her.
She complied, taking her place in his bed, and patting the spot beside her. He crawled in pulling the blankets up until they were both engulfed. In the pitch-black warmth of the blankets, they opened their eyes and for a drawn-out moment they remained silent. Kuon's hands rubbed soothing patterns over her back as he waited for her to start. Kyouko rubbed her nose over his neck inhaling his calming scent as she waited for him to begin. He opened his mouth in a soft chuckle before the silence could stretch on for too long.
"I guess I'll go first then?" He waited a beat for her to object before continuing. "Alright number one," he began and poked her nose. "I'll assume you're dream wedding is all planned out." Her head on his arm nodded confirming what he already knew. "Tell me about it."
She flinched not expecting something so personal right off the bat. Of course, he thought he had chosen an easy secret for her to share. It was something that he honestly expected her to want to share with him and anyone else willing to listen. To her however revealing her dream wedding would be like baring her naked body to him. It would mean admitting that she had cast him as the groom. She would have to tell him that she wanted white roses and that she had once wanted a traditional kimono but had traded it out for a western style gown. She might even have to admit that she had dreamed about her wedding night with him.
She shook her thoughts away and leaned in and whispered. "When I was little, I thought I knew everything I wanted. I had it all planned out. I would have a nice traditional ceremony followed by a modest but elegant reception. To be honest I never imagined a groom in full detail. I mean you know who I thought would be the groom back then, but I never planned out what he'd wear or how his hair would be styled or anything like that. My dress would be a traditional white kimono because I could never afford a colorful patterned one. Now I'm not so sure though. Well, I know the groom should be a natural blond."
"Natural blond huh?" Kuon asked his surprise erasing the jealousy he felt over her bringing up Fuwa.
"Yes, and he has to be a dashingly handsome prince in an impeccable white suit. And tall he definitely has to be tall." She said knowing full well that she was rambling. "With nice broad shoulders and a heavenly smile." Her hands ran over his shoulders unconsciously as she described him.
"And should he have green eyes?" Kuon teased tightening his arms to pull her closer.
"Yes." Kyouko said blushing and looking down even though he couldn't see her.
"And your dress? Do you still want it to be traditional or will it be a floor length princess gown with a sweetheart neckline?" His finger caressed the swell of her breast causing her blush to deepen. "With lace sleeves." He slid his finger up her neck and down her arm creating a trail of goosebumps on her skin. "I can promise the white suit. I'll even give you the green eyes and blond hair. I'm afraid I'm not a prince though so you probably won't want me."
"That's not true!" She protested before she could stop herself. "You are the perfect prince I always imagined I'd marry." With a gasp she clamped her mouth shut and buried her head against his chest. "I mean, well of course I've thought about us. I mean not that I expect anything. I just… I'm prone to fantasizing and sometimes my fantasies get out of hand."
When he said nothing, she peaked up at him, but she couldn't see anything in the dark. That was the point of covering up so he couldn't see her blush. Now she wished she'd never thought of it or mentioned it as a rule for their game.
"Do you plan on marrying, Kuon?" she asked realizing that it was her turn to ask for a secret.
"Yes." He said with a grin. He was giddy from the confirmation that she had fantasized about marrying him. "And we'll have white roses in your bouquet. We can have the traditional ceremony and I will get you a colorful patterned kimono if you want."
"No, I don't need that."
"I didn't ask if you needed it, I asked what you wanted. Your dream wedding and you gave me what you wanted as a child then you told me what I have to look like but not what you want." He pointed out as he raised his hand to cup her face. "Or were you telling me that the only thing that matters is who you'll be marrying?"
"Is that your second question?" Kyouko asked too embarrassed to continue talking about marriage but if it were his second question she would answer.
He shook his head then continued. "Question two…"
"Wait you didn't tell me about the bride." She said her hands cupping his face and making him look down at her. At least she hoped he was looking at her. What if his eyes were closed? Her finger lightly traced over his features finding his eyes.
"You never asked." He said with a chuckle and pulled her hands off his face. "I said we should do this in the light, but you insisted it would feel more intimate like this."
"No don't." she said stopping him before he could pull the covers off. "We're on two."
Smirking he wrapped his arms back around her and resumed their game. "Two, what do you want for your birthday?"
"You can't ask that." She said with a pout.
"That was never a rule we discussed. We each get three questions and we both agreed to answer all three no matter how intrusive." He said and she rolled her eyes annoyed. "I promised to go easy on you and it's a pretty easy question."
"Fine," Kyouko conceded despite her annoyance. "Nothing. My turn."
"No." He said leaning in close to press his forehead to hers. "That isn't an answer." Before she could object, he elaborated. "I want to know what you want. If money weren't an issue, if you could have anything you want, any one thing real or imaginary for your birthday what would it be?"
She hesitated not knowing how to respond. Anything at all that he gave her would be nice and well thought out and special just because it was from him. There really wasn't anything she wanted him to waste his money on for her, though. The only thing she could think of that she really wished she had was more of his time. Resting her head against his chest she replied with a tiny voice, "this. I want this." Her hand rested over his strong and steady heartbeat.
"That's already yours, princess." He said placing a hand over hers.
Kyouko smiled and her lips sought out his but found his chin instead. Chuckling he lifted her chin and pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss.
"See I'm easy." She said grinning into their kiss.
In a mischievous voice Kuon replied, "I wish you were easy." His hand reached down and gripped her ass eliciting a squeal from her. Bringing his hand back up to her shoulder he chuckled, "Sorry. I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. Pervert!" she said but didn't push him away when he stole another kiss. "It's my turn."
"I suppose it is. I am still getting you a gift though." He replied kissing from her mouth to her jaw. "Ask me anything."
"Two, hmm." She moaned from the feeling of his tongue on her neck. "Kuon!" Digging her nails into his shoulders she leaned back granting him more access to her neck. "You're distracting me." her accusation came out more like a breathy plea.
"Hm?" Kuon hummed kissing his way back up to her lips. "Am I bothering you princess? Sorry." She could hear the mirth in his voice letting her know he wasn't the slightest bit sorry. "Question two, go on." He prodded kissing her nose.
Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her head of the delirium his kisses caused. There were so many questions she could ask but she didn't know what would be too intrusive for their first time. He had already told her so much about Rick and Cedric, but he was always purposefully vague about everything else from his past. The things he did and the types of people he used to call friends were not pleasant topics for him.
They had been together for a little over a year though and she still felt as though she knew nothing about his past. It had hurt to learn that Corn had been a lie but Ren and Corn turning out to be the same person turned out to be a happy blessing for her. The unexpected shock was learning that his name was really Kuon and that he was Kuu's son, that was something she was still coming to terms with. Not because it upset her but because she preferred calling him Corn, and pretending he was a fairy was easier than recognizing him as an adult human. She didn't want to think of him being a grown man from America with a past that involved other girls. Beautiful girls who weren't as shy and modest as she was and who probably would have had sex with him long before an entire year of dating.
"Do you miss sex?" she blurted out her heart pounding.
The covers were thrown off them and Kuon stared at his beat red girlfriend, well what he could see of her as she scrunched in on herself and hid behind her hands. Firmly grasping her hands, he pulled them away from her face and called to her softly.
"Never mind I don't need to know." Kyouko said shaking her head. She refused to open her eyes and look at him.
"Kyouko." He called to her again pulling her body back to his. "Is that really what you want to know?"
He asked not expecting an answer. She was stiff and afraid that she had asked something too personal. Something she didn't even want to know the answer to but was still curious about.
"The simple answer is yes." He admitted petting her hair softly. Feeling her tense up more he continued. "A more complicated answer is yes but I started having sex way too young. I regret not waiting until I was ready. Back then it was what everybody was doing, and I was doing other things that everyone else did so I just went with it." Gripping her chin, he coaxed her into looking him in the eyes. "I would never want to rush you into anything before you're ready. That isn't really what you want to know though, is it?" he gave her a moment to reply before prompting her again. "Kyouko, we're supposed to be honest with each other."
Slowly she peaked her eyes open to look up at him through her lashes. "Do you wish I wasn't such a boring naïve virgin?" she finally asked making him frown.
"First," he said flicking her forehead, "you are the only one here who cares about virginity. I don't mind that you're a virgin but if you weren't it wouldn't bother me. Now that you're mine of course I expect to be the only one who gets to touch you. As you are the only one allowed complete access to my body." He said the last part while pulling her arms around his waist. "Second, you are the most interesting person I have ever met. In fact, calling yourself boring is an insult to the rest of us mundane humans. Sometimes I wish you would be a little less cool and stop making me look like a boring old man."
"You are not a boring old man!" she said giggling.
"I wake up at five in the morning, watch the news, go to work, and as soon as I get home, I get ready for bed. The only time I do anything outside of my routine is when I must for work or when you suggest it. My life is work and you. I'm boring. Before you all I had was work." He finished in a dry voice exaggerating the mundaneness of work. There was that spark in his eyes that told her how much he really loved their work though.
"Three?" Kyouko asked after a moment of gazing into his eyes. He nodded and tapped her nose signally that it was her turn. She thought for a second before asking, "Is there anything you want for your birthday? From me?"
"Darling there's a lot of things I want from you." his voice was low and suggestive causing her to blush and shove his lips away.
"Pervert."
"Yes, I am but then again you knew exactly what I meant." he said catching her chin turning her face to his. "Pervert."
"Tsuruga‐san!" Kyouko gasped embarrassed.
"You're adorable." He said unapologetically. "I want this for my birthday." He continued, wrapping her in his arms and pressing a kiss to her hair. "I want a day where I can be with you just like this."
"What would I have to do?"
"Just spend the day with me." He said with a frown. "Why do you always assume I want more from you than that?" he asked earning a skeptical look from her. "Ok, I won't deny that I want your body, Kyouko, but I wouldn't ask for that as a present. Sex isn't an obligation, it's a mutual choice that we should both enjoy. For my birthday I only want to spend the day with my girl. No responsibilities, no friends, no family, no coworkers, or fans stealing our time. Just us together." He explained.
"I would like that too." She sighed pressing her ear to his heart.
"Kyouko?" He called to her preparing to ask his third question.
"Hmm?" she asked missing the apprehension in his voice.
"I love you." He said and she smiled brilliantly.
"I love you too, Corn." She said finally noticing the tension in his voice. Whatever he was about to ask was weighing heavily on him.
"Why did you accept the role of Sayuri?" His words caused her to tense up immediately.
Sayuri had been offered to her at the same time she had been offered the role of a princess in a fantasy drama. Yashiro had assumed she would take the princess role, so he wasn't even planning on showing her the role of Sayuri. If she hadn't heard from Shou the day before that he was going to audition for a role in Oh! Darling, she never would have taken notice of the script lying on Yashiro-san's desk. At first, she had assumed it was for Ren, but Yashiro-san had explained that it was Sayuri-san, the domestic abuse victim they were searching for an actress for. Sayuri was a strong willed, successful woman working in a law office, but she was secretly being abused by her husband Satoshi. Director Anna had requested Kyouko personally.
Sayuri wasn't a role she wanted to take but she felt it was the right decision for her career. It was a deeper role which would require the use of all her acting skills. She had turned down the princess role because it was a ditsy cliché role. Yes, Sayuri was a victim, but Sayuri was not stupid. She wasn't weak or powerless and she wasn't a damsel in distress to move the hero's plot along. Sayuri was one of three female leads and a well-developed character. After weighing the pros and cons Kyouko decided and reluctantly Yashiro agreed to inform director Anna of her decision. He had called Ren before calling the director and the two of them agreed that Tsuruga Ren needed to be Satoshi for Kyouko's sake.
"Kyouko." Kuon prompted her again needing to know the answer.
"Why did you take the role of Satoshi?" Kyouko countered.
"You had your three questions, answer mine." Kuon said unwilling to let her wiggle out of answering.
"Sayuri-san is a good role. I've played villains and best friend roles and now it's time for me to show people another side of my acting." Kyouko said a little annoyed with him. She had explained before that the princess role was too passive and forgetful. She had few lines and only served to give the hero something to protect.
"You want to show your fans you can be a victim?" He asked incredulously.
"You could have taken the role of Haruki or Kenji. Instead, you had Yashiro request the role of the abusive husband. You want your fans to see you as an abuser?" she countered defensively and tried to pull herself out of his arms.
"No, but I wasn't about to let you film emotionally and physically abusive scenes with him." Kuon said and she rolled her eyes.
"Let me? So now you get to dictate my career?" Kyouko asked growing increasingly irritated with him.
Kuon sighed and reworked his statement. "Of course not, but I didn't feel comfortable with you acting out abuse scenes with someone who might actually hurt you. Taking the role was your choice. It's your career and the path you take is up to you. I will always support you in whatever you do, but I wasn't going to stand by and let him hurt you."
"So, requesting the role was about protecting me, it had nothing to do with jealousy?" she asked unamused by his excuse. "I told you that I was taking the role knowing that Shoutaro was up for the role of Satoshi, and you somehow miraculously already had the part Shoutaro wanted. That had nothing to do with being possessive?"
"Oh, it had everything to do with being possessive and jealous." Kuon admitted then since he was in trouble already, he added, "and petty. Satoshi is the bigger role, and I took it from him. I even took the pay cut to ensure that they'd give me the part. I never demand roles, Kyouko, but I did because I needed to know that you would be safe. I wasn't about to let Fuwa touch you." He seethed tightening his hold on her briefly before taking a deep breath. His arms loosened to the point where she could slip away from him if she wanted.
"You could have asked to be Haruki. He's the bigger role and he gets Sayuri in the end." She said pressing a kiss to his cheek to reassure him. "I didn't take the part to be near Shoutaro. You know that don't you?"
He looked down wishing he could believe that. Fuwa had mentioned trying out for the role before she knew Sayuri was being offered to her. Kuon would like to say that he completely trusted his girlfriend because he did, but sometimes she laughed a little too readily at Fuwa's jokes. Usually though she treated Fuwa with disdain and they argued like children fighting over toys, but the fact that she talked to him at all caused Kuon's blood to boil with jealous rage. It was as if nothing Fuwa had done to her was unforgivable. She loved him enough to accept his selfish nature and forget his abuse of her. Kuon was pretty sure that if Fuwa did physically cause her harm she wouldn't tell anyone.
"Kuon, you know I love you, don't you?" she asked biting back the hurt to see that flash of distrust in his eyes. "Am I not doing enough as your girlfriend? You need more from me to prove that I love you?"
"No!" Kuon shouted not wanting her to cry. He rubbed his nose against hers and continued in a gentle voice. "No, Kyouko it isn't you. I have jealousy issues and I," his breath hitched as he stared into her pained eyes. His insecurities had caused her pain and he hated himself for that. "I don't deserve you and I am afraid of losing you. I am terrified that someday you'll look at me and realize that I am inadequate in every way. That I don't deserve someone as kind, and smart and beautiful as you."
"Oh Kuon." She sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull his head to her shoulder. He nuzzled her neck inhaling her scent, she smelled like home and safety.
"Please don't cry." He begged feeling her tremble. "I never want to cause you pain."
"I know. I know you hate hurting me. That's why I'm glad that you took the role from Fuwa. If he were playing Satoshi, he wouldn't be gentle with me. You are always kind and gentle and you're always careful with me though." she said moving back so she could look him in the eyes. "I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Then maybe you would understand why you could never lose me, especially not to an arrogant jerk like Fuwa. He's my friend but only barely and only because we grew up together. We have nothing in common and I wouldn't want to spend an hour alone with him let alone devoting an entire day to doing nothing together to celebrate his birthday."
Kuon perked up and she smiled warmly. "You'd really spend my birthday with me? All day just the two of us doing nothing?"
"Of course, I would. I love spending time with you." she said honestly then squeaked when he pounced on her planting kisses all over her face.
"And when we're filming, you'll tell me if I hurt you right?" he asked brushing her hair back.
"Yes, that's why the producers let me pick a safe word. I will shout apple as soon as I am in severe pain. I wanted to say poison apple, but they said that was too long." She said with a pout hoping he would find her cute and stop his brooding.
"I never want to hurt you, Kyouko." He said seriously before kissing her pouting lips. "This role is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it would have been worse if I hadn't taken it. I would have probably locked you in my room and murdered anyone else cast as Satoshi." He rolled off her feeling his blood boiling again. "I would have been a nervous wreck while you filmed those scenes, and you won't even use a stunt double."
"Kuon." She said trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. He was never going to let it go.
"What?"
"You will not hurt me." she said kissing his cheek. "You will never lose me." She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I love you and I feel safest when I'm in your arms."
"I love you too. My precious princess, I love you more than anything." He said cupping her face and pressing his lips to hers. "I love you so much."
