Eldritch


It was three in the morning and sleep continued to evade Byakuya. This had been the case for the past few nights. Iridescent moonlight peaked through open blinds, illuminating his bed covers and the book in his hands, a history book on the warring states era. After thumbing to the next page, he paused his reading, getting lost in thought. Occasional bouts of insomnia were not a new phenomenon. They never lasted more than a week and although being exhausted was uncomfortable, he didn't mind it too much. It was much better than the alternative.

Sometimes he had nightmares instead.

The vacant, half-opened eyes and soulless expression of his dead mother. Horrific screams and anguished wails. Scattered entrails of his baby sister and her sweet face torn in two. Encroaching white Zetsu unnaturally contorting their bodies, hunting him. Mangled corpses of his friends scattered at his feet. His hands drenched in Sakura-san's blood as she stares at him with condemnation, the dark liquid seeping from her mouth. The worst of it was the darkness. An infinite pool of tar that slowly seeped into him, choking and consuming him as that thing watched.

Pitch black dreadful eyes. A feral, predatory grin. Malevolence-incarnate, taunting him with whispers, saying 'soon… soon.'

Sometimes he heard whispers even when he wasn't asleep.

Lately the nightmares were getting worse, more frequent. But he didn't dare tell anyone, especially Sakura-san. A few white lies here and a few omissions there were enough to avoid raising the alarm during evaluations. At times it was tricky, but he was always successful. Expectations and methodologies were skewed toward normal six-year-old children. An unintentional, but understandable, bias. As part of his accelerated curriculum, he was granted access to the Hokage tower's library and Sakura-san was always gracious enough to lend out her medical textbooks. There were loads of literature on psychology and the human brain, the mechanics of interrogation, and dissections of micro expressions and body language.

He knew exactly what to say and how to say it.

It was for the greater good, especially for Sakura-san. Never again would he be powerless, or a burden, or make her worry, or make her sad. But he also had to be extremely careful around her. Their recent conversation was the most honest he'd been with anyone since... She reminded him a bit of his kaa-san. They share similar warm smiles that were instantly reassuring and kind – the type that immediately vanished whatever fear or pain you were feeling. Also, they are both rather fierce. In how they protected, advocated, and loved… Well, his kaa-san was rather fierce… She had a warm smile…

Anyway, Sakura-san had an easy, genuine way of making him open up. He had to tread carefully during their upcoming sessions. She had to be protected. From everything. From this. So, yes, he welcomed insomnia instead.

While Byakuya still had his doubts about leaving the village, he couldn't help but be excited about the upcoming mission. His first C-rank! His first C-rank with his new team and sensei! In a few hours they'd be leaving for a two-day protection detail, guarding medical supplies being transported to a town in the outskirts of the Land of Fire. There may be some bandit activity, but overall, the mission was straight forward. It'd be a chance to get to know his team better, though they were already so welcoming and awesome.

Mayuri-sensei was cool (not as cool as the Hokage, but he was tough to beat) with an easy-going attitude and expertly wielded chakra blades. Don-kun was a loud-mouth with an aggressive taijutsu-style and who would always greet him with an energetic double high five. Hana-chan was equally rambunctious, threatening to kick his ass with her boil release if his Chunin promotion went to his head, but she was also incredibly sweet, bringing homemade onigiri to every practice. When he was first assigned to the team, they'd taken him out to BBQ. A new tradition. His teammates then snuck him to a training field to blow up random trees with explosive tags and light fireworks. Another new tradition.

He smiled to himself, it was one of his happiest memories.

Byakuya glanced at the clock and decided to tuck the book away. In a few hours they'd depart and at the very least he could attempt to rest his eyes before reporting in. Two days wasn't long. It'd be over in a blink of an eye. What would be the next mission they're assigned? Maybe something stealthy like reconnaissance or ridiculous like rounding up wild boars… Hopefully the escort mission goes well. He was really looking forward to his next meeting with Sakura-san, she'd be thrilled to hear all about it. Maybe on the way back, he'd pick up a small souvenir! That seemed feasible. Potentially another figurine, like a dog or cat, to keep the frog on her desk company…?

Sleep finally took him.

As he serenely slumbered, an unknown whisper uttered, "Soon."


Naruto was bored.

Over the past hour, he had been flinging kunai at a poorly drawn caricature of Uchiha Madara. To his credit, he totally pretty much nailed it with capturing the 'bat shit crazy' look in the Konoha founder's eyes. Shikamaru was face planted in a book across from him, an assortment of open scrolls and towering stacks of books scattered around. Technically the both of them were tasked with creating a strategy for more effective economic cooperation between Konoha and Kiri, as well as a short list of ideas for a series of cultural exchange events. Attempting to reconcile decades of harsh, convoluted economic sanctions and punitive policies between the two villages nearly broke Shikamaru.

But once Naruto suggested hosting an Oiroke no Jutsu contest as the first cultural exchange event, he decided to call it quits and take a nap.

Flinging another kunai, "Neh Shikamaru."

A low groan could be heard from the dark, pineapple-haired man.

"I'm bored."

Another groan.

"C'mon let's ditch this and do something fun!

Shikamaru lifted his head up, "You know we can't do that."

"But baa-chan already did! She got wind of a casino near here and has been gambling for seven days straight."

"Tsunade-sama was the Hokage and is retired. Accompanying us was to show good faith to Kiri. You're next in line to become the Hokage. We're trying to set you up for success, not make a bad impression."

Pouting, "But the Mizukage already really likes me…," then giving his companion a sly grin, "And I think she really, really likes you."

"It's about establishing deeper relationships than that, as leaders come and go. Tch, that's the last thing Konoha needs, to be in between Suna and Kiri over something so troublesome."

Wiggling his eyebrows, "Oooh so things are still going on with Temari-chan?"

"More or less."

"And Kakashi-sensei was worried that Iwas going to be the one starting 'international incidents'… Wait! You know what this means, right?"

He raised a brow, urging the energetic blonde to enlighten him.

"You'll have GAARA as a brother-in-law hehehe!"

Shikamaru scowled. Fully aggravated, he whipped out and lit a cigarette in one fluid motion. He took a long inhale, then a flicker of horror passed his face, "…Tsunade-sama has been in a casino for seven days straight?"

Naruto nodded his head.

"…We're going to have to bail her out again, aren't we?"

Naruto nodded his head again, slower this time as he started mirroring his future advisor's horror.

Inhaling again, "What a drag…"

Flinging another kunai, "How much longer are we here for again?"

"Two more weeks."

"Aww man, I want to go home. I miss Ichiraku. And Hinata-chan…"

Shikamaru snorted. Ramen continued to reign supreme in the future Hokage's heart, however he was sure the Hyūga heiress was already aware. She was deeply understanding like that.

Continuing, "Also teme and even Sai, and Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei…"

The strategist quirked his brow, taking another inhale. Team 7 was known for being exceptionally close. But those two, were exceptionally close. More often than not, Sakura and Kakashi were essentially attached at the hip. Where one went, the other one would surely follow. If you wanted to find one, you could ask the other with success. They knew each other's strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, idiosyncrasies, etc. and it was not uncommon for them to speak on behalf of the other, as if they knew precisely what the other was thinking. He had a suspicion there could be more to them, but both were undoubtedly too dense and romantically awkward to notice.

They were the smartest, dumbest workaholics he'd ever met.

"Iruka-sensei, Konohamaru-kun, even Ino-chan even though she's mean to me, Choji-kun…"

Interrupting, "Are you just going to name everyone in the village now?"

"Maybe I will, because I'm bore— Actually, come to think of it, I really want to try using my dad's Hiraishin Kunai on our way back to Konoha. I already set up the network and I've been working out the kinks. I'm pretty sure I got the hang of it!"

"You're aware that trying to teleport from Kiri to Konoha would almost certainly kill you."

"I know that! I was thinking of trying it once we cross the boarders into Fire Country. But seriously, how badass would it be if I could teleport between countries?"

Acquiescing, "Pretty badass. Though theoretically, you might be able to manage that by tapping into Kurama's insane chakra reserves. But again, if you fucked it up you would probably die."

"Yo Kurama, you hear that?! We totally got this!"

"Oi, it's weird when you talk to the most powerful chakra titan in existence so casually."

"But he's my friend!"

"Naruto-kun! Shikamaru-kun!" a feminine voice in the distance called out.

Both men tensed.

"Shit, it's the Mizukage!"

Frantically concealing the cigarette stub, "We're only halfway done, why did you distract me?"

"EH?! You were napping when I woke you up!"

"I do some of my best thinking when I nap. You've been awake the whole time, have you thought of anything?"

"Eheheh… no."

"Mendokusai…"

Konoha was doomed.


Kakashi was hiding in her office again.

More accurately, he was taking a nap on her light blue couch with a copy of Icha Icha Violence draped across his face to block the mid-afternoon sunlight. She was certain his ANBU team had wised up to his favorite hiding spot. However, Tsunade had set a precedent that ANBU personnel were only allowed on the premise for strictly medical reasons. No other activity or operations were permitted, and technically a Hokage protection detail fell under those categories. They could secure the building externally but could not step foot inside. An exception could only be made if both the Hokage and Chief of Medicine signed off on it.

The official reason? One time, a member of Tsunade's detail got in the way of patient care. The actual reason? Tsunade needed a sacred place to escape from paperwork and stick-up-their-asses guards… and drink. Given at that time, she was both Chief of Medicine and Hokage, an exception was never made. And now, given that in Tsunade's temporary absence, Sakura was acting Chief of Medicine and Kakashi, as Hokage, absolutely abhorred being babysat, the precedent was upheld to this day. Much to Kakashi's utter delight.

Sakura initially found it odd, given his notorious aversion to hospitals. The man used to repeatedly bleed out on her kitchen floor rather than seek treatment in a sterile, well-equipped, life-saving facility. She still had blood stains in her tile grout to prove it. He still evaded his yearly physicals, which have been overdue ever since Tsunade stopped having the authority to give him direct orders. Though even that tactic wasn't always successful. Once, Kakashi willingly spent a week imprisoned for directly disobeying Tsunade's order to get his physical, just to prove a point. He would have been fine being incarcerated even longer, but then the daimyo specifically requested him for a mission and the standoff abruptly ended.

Yet now, maybe every other week, Kakashi would pop up in her office. Sometimes they'd just read and work in a comfortable silence. Sometimes he napped, implicitly trusting her not to try to take a peek under his mask even though the pot had ballooned to 30,000 ryos over the years. Sometimes he brought her a snack, always under the guise that an old lady wouldn't take 'no' for an answer and gave him too much food, but really it was because he was concerned that she skipped a meal. Again.

One day, her curiosity got the better of her. She asked him why he hanged out at her office so often. His convoluted reasoning was that her office, while located in a hospital, wasn't in fact a hospital. Plus, her couch was ridiculously comfortable. Pure bullshit. Although her eyes almost rolled out of her skull, she couldn't help but smile. It was only fair, given how often she barged into his office at almost a daily basis. At one point, Kakashi tried pawning off his job to her, since she 'seemed to love the Hokage tower so much.'

As she finished scribbling away at a patient file, she noticed he had awoken, "Hello sleepy head."

Lightly grumbling underneath his book, "Sakura-chan… I had this horrible dream that I was elected Hokage and Shizune was my assistant and she threatened to burn all my books."

Sighing at his dramatics, "I don't know how to break it to you Kakashi, but you are Hokage. Shizune is your assistant. And she threatens to burn your books on a weekly basis to keep you in line."

"Life is cruel."

"What are you talking about? You live a very blessed life. And you're a powerful prodigy in arguably the most powerful position in the world during essentially an era of world peace."

"But the paperwork… And the robes… And the old lady who runs the dango shop you like keeps pinching my ass while blaming it on dementia."

Rolling her eyes, "You're such a brat after you nap, that's so counterintuitive."

He lightly chuckled, "Mah, I'm your favorite brat."

Huffing, she didn't dignify that comment with a response. Although, grudgingly, he was correct.

"Speaking of your other favorite brat, I'm sure you've heard Byakuya-kun left for his first C-rank mission today?"

Excitedly, "Yes I did hear! Byakuya-kun is really excited about it! Do you know when they're expected to be back?"

"Ah it's a simple escort mission, so probably within two or three days, tops."

"Perfect, just in time for our next session. I can't wait to hear how it went. He's really thrilled with his new team!"

"It's a good group. Credit to Iruka-sensei for recommending that match."

Nodding, "It seems to be really working out... Though… I can't help but feel a little nervous about this mission."

Waving a hand lazily, "Mah it'll be fine, Mayuri-sensei is highly capable and it's as straight forward of an assignment as it can be."

Snorting, "Well, our first C-rank ended up being an A-rank, remember? It's weird, but I have this odd feeling that something might happen."

"Well, Team 7 has always been an anomaly. They'll be fine, Sakura-chan."

Sighing, "I guess you're right… Also, you need to have a chat with Ibiki-san."

"Oh?"

"Your well-known uncooperativeness is causing issues at the hospital. Every time we have to conduct mandatory physicals, I'm always paged to handle idiots. I'm a busy woman, Kakashi! Recently, I was pulled out of a surgery because my staff are scared stiff of your cloak-and-dagger band of—"

Interrupting, "It's understandable that some people don't like to be probed."

"I'll probe you if you don't—"

"Mah no need to resort to threats Sakura-chan. But don't you think that's hypocritical of me? I have to consider my reputation after all."

"Your reputation will be fine. People respected you even when you were just a stingy, perverted, porn-reading Jonin. No one is going to blink at the fact you're a hypocrite too. Think of it as a public health service announcement, 'cooperate or die.'"

Almost pouting at the multiple jabs, "You're so mean. And scary. Morino might actually try to recruit you."

Snorting, "As if. It's definitely not my scene. Besides, if there's anyone I'd want to torture, it'd be only you Ka-ka-shi," she said sweetly.

Teasingly, "I didn't know how deeply you felt about me. There's no need to pull my pigtails to get my attention, we're not academy students anymore... But what would poor Sasuke-kun think?"

Sputtering, "Wh-what are you talking about? You're such an idiot!"

A deep chuckle erupted as he felt a crumpled paper ball bounce off his head.

"That could technically count as assault, on the Hokage no less…"

"Oh, I'll show you an assault. You know what—"

There was a pause. Thrown off by the sudden silence, Kakashi lifted up the book off his face to check what had distracted her… but then he felt it. That peculiar, empty, dreadful feeling.

Again.

Before his book fell to the floor, she was on top of him at a startling speed. Straddling his torso and exuding a menacing aura, her right hand clutched a very sharp kunai, driving it down toward his neck. On instinct, his hand intercepted her wrist as adrenaline rushed through his veins. Struggling to keep her hand a steady, safe distance from his carotid artery, his eyes widened at the sight of her other hand molding chakra into… a chakra blade… a lightning chakra blade?

As she moved to impale his neck once more, his other hand shot up to meet hers, mirroring the lightning release and nullifying it, making the blade fizzle out. Just as quickly, her hands finally joined together, applying more downward force to the kunai as his own hands grabbed both of her wrists, slowing the momentum to a standstill.

Looking up at her face, "Is there a reason you're trying to murder me?" he murmured.

His tone was nonchalant, but his body was tense, his heart hammered in his chest, his mind was racing. How the hell did she use lightning release? Where did this killing intent come from? And what the fuck is this otherworldly chakra?

Everything about her felt wrong. Her green eyes were blank, cold, and dull. She cocked her head, as if amused by his impudence. Long, pink strands cascaded to one side, yet seemed to swell and swirl with chakra as it caught the sunlight. He was still struggling to steady the kunai above his neck, unnerved by the sheer force behind the act and fully aware that if she used chakra enhanced strength… that would be quite problematic. A cruel smirk marred her face, and he could have sworn her eyes flashed into a clear white.

"Attention."

Her voice was corrupted, a mixture of sweet and familiar, and then something sinisterly foreign. The oppressive, heavy chakra hovering over him nearly crushed the breath out of him. The kunai pierced the fabric of his mask and grazed his skin before he managed to push it a few millimeters back.

As blood seeped into the cloth around his neck, "Consider this my full, undivided attention."

"It's coming."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his grip on her wrists tightened. This was a surreal turn of events. If he didn't know better, he'd think this was a nasty genjutsu or that his nap devolved into his worst nightmare. He experienced a mixture of feelings: bewilderment, anxiety, frustration, curiosity, and overall… fear. Not for his safety or well-being, but for the safety and well-being of Sakura. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to hurt her. But he also could not let anything happen to her, and if she successfully killed him, the consequences would be dire.

"What's coming?" he asked lowly.

Her smirk faded, almost as if a realization suddenly pained her. She dropped her head lower, leaning her cheek against his hands and sighing as she closed her eyes. Her skin was frigid. Staring back down at him, unshed tears began to well up, juxtaposing her cold gaze.

"You're all going to die."

Then just as suddenly as it came, that peculiar, empty, dreadful feeling vanished. On top of him was no longer a threat, but Sakura… his Sakura. He let out a long, uneasy breath. The tightly coiled tension within his body dissipated, although a sinking feeling of trepidation burned at the pit of his stomach. He released his hold on her, noting she felt warm again. Her jade eyes illuminated back to life, then widened in surprise.

Franticly, "Wh-what? Kami… Kakashi! Why am I on top of you? What the hell is going on?!"

The kunai fell to the floor with a loud clatter, "Why did I have a kunai— Why are you hurt?!" Immediately she brought down her palm and tenderly held it against the cut on his neck, healing it to the point that not even a scar would materialize.

In a poor attempt to defuse the tension, "Well… You sure showed me. That certainly was an assault…"

She scrambled off of him, scooting to the far end of the couch and coiling up in a ball, lightly rocking back and forth. Shell-shocked. Hyperventilating.

Fuck.

Sitting up, he ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh. A million thoughts crossed his mind, but his priority was to make sure she was okay. Scooting right next to her, he tentatively gave her a reassuring squeeze, slowly rubbing his hands up and down her biceps. Initially tensing at the contact, she began to relax against him, although continued to take panicked gulps of air.

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry. I don't know wha— what happened. I swear—"

In a soothing, low voice, "It's okay… It's okay Sakura-chan. I know you'd never try to hurt me."

Moaning, "Why? Why, why, why did that happen?"

"Don't worry about it right now. We'll figure it out later. You're fine. You're safe. Breathe."

Tears started welling up as she looked at him, failing to slow her breathing as sheer terror consumed her, "Ka—Kakashi… I think… I think there's some— something wrong with me."

She collapsed into his chest, closing her eyes and tightly gripping his vest to ground herself. Desperately trying to reclaim control. Desperately focusing on Kakashi's heartbeat as a comforting metronome. Inhale for five seconds. Hold. Exhale for five seconds. Hold.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Enveloping her in a tight hug, Kakashi was at a loss for words.

He fucking hated it when he was right.


Oiroke no Jutsu: Sexy Technique