Haloha, everyone! Hope you're all having a good day! Thanks for the reviews as always!

The NaLu ship shan't sail in this fanfiction, unfortunately. (I'd be surprised if you didn't realize this was a NaWen fanfiction 20 chapters in ahah.)

To address a review by Zaratartus, I'm glad you pointed that out! I was hoping people would catch on to that. You're right that Natsu was thinking about Wendy in his monologue. I intentionally wrote it as 'her' so it would suggest the possibility of another girl on his mind. Thank you for the review!

Anyhow, enjoy reading! The NaWen ship will sail soon!


Chapter 24: Our Feelings, Part 1


"I'm sorry, Lucy." Natsu pulled back.

"…Natsu?"

Natsu averted his gaze, unable to face her. "I don't… feel the same way."

"…"

It was as if a bomb had been set off in Lucy's mind, clouding over her thoughts.

It was as if a string was snapped in her heart, filling her chest with lacerating pains.

It was as if the distance to him had suddenly become unreachable.

"What…?" Lucy took a few steps back, losing her sense of balance. Her pupils had fully diminished as his words passed through her ears.

"I'm sorry, Lucy." Natsu apologized once more, forcing the words out of his throat. "I… don't love you the same way you love me."

"…" Tears started to fill her vision, causing it to blur. Her senses were growing… heavy.

"Why…?" Lucy barely voiced out, unable to contain her tears. "Why…?"

"Lucy." Natsu straightened his posture and maintained eye contact. "You're such a special person in my life. I really love you. A lot."

"B-But…" Lucy began staring down at her feet, numbness setting in to her body.

"But if you were to ask me whether I loved you romantically… I… think I don't." Natsu clenched his fists. "I really enjoyed our date. It was so much fun, being able to spend time with you." He took a few steps closer. "It's just like," He took a deep breath, "like all the other times we hung out."

"…" Lucy's shoulders began trembling.

"It's always fun being with you… and that has never changed." Natsu hung his head down. "And this date… it didn't feel any different to me."

"…" Lucy felt it was getting difficult to breathe, just hearing his response.

"But I'm grateful, Lucy! You made time to go on a date with me. This has really helped me to understand my feelings…" Natsu gripped the fabric around his chest, his hands trembling at what he was about to say next.

"It's helped me… realize my feelings for someone."

The tears began streaming down her face like a relentless waterfall.

"Lucy…" Natsu's heart tightened, seeing Lucy cry. He took a step forward, wanting to comfort her.

"Don't." Placing a palm in front of him, Lucy whispered through her tears.

"But Lucy-"

"Just don't!" Lucy's arms trembled. She willed herself to face Natsu, to face him as her friend. "Turn around."

Natsu did as she asked, turning around. His back was facing her. Using his dragon hearing, all he could hear were her cries of pain. Soon, he heard her footsteps getting closer and closer. He felt shaking arms wrap around his chest from behind, pulling him in tightly.

"I love the way you're always so honest and straightforward."

"I love the way you value your friends like family."

"I love the way you've always been there for me."

I've always loved you, Natsu.

Lucy's trembling arms tightened around him, her hands digging into his chest.

"Natsu…" She called his name through her sobs. "We'll… always be together, right?"

"… Of course, Lucy." Natsu gently held her arm. "We'll always be together."

"Nothing… has to change between us, right?" Lucy clenched the fabric of his chest, as if he was out of her reach, feeling this could be their last embrace.

"For sure, Lucy." Natsu said softly. "We'll always be partners."

"… Okay." Lucy buried her face onto his back, forcing the words out of the throat. "That's more than enough for me."

"Lucy…" He could sense the strain in her voice, the pain in her voice. She's lying to herself… for my sake. God damn it…. He felt powerless, knowing he couldn't do anything to protect her smile.

"Could you… tell me who do you love?"

"… I can't right now, Lucy." Natsu hesitated, not feeling completely certain of his feelings. "I'll tell you about her… once I'm ready."

"… Okay." Lucy smiled weakly. All she could do now… was support him. "Please… cherish her and keep her happy, Natsu." She hung her head down in defeat. "Love her well."

"I will, Lucy." Natsu lifted his head. "I promise."

"Guh…" Lucy continued bawling out, unable to hold back the increasing pain in her heart. Natsu cradled her hands to console her, to soothe her as best as he could. He was going to stay rooted in place for as long as she needed.

Immediately, Lucy pushed him by his back away. "Now, go! Don't keep her waiting."

Natsu looked back at Lucy over his shoulder. "Lucy…"

"I'll be fine!" Lucy cheered him on, still looking away. "Don't worry about me!"

Natsu remained silent. I appreciate you, Lucy. You've always been strong… even now.

All he could do was flash his toothy grin that she loved one last time. As much as it pained him to leave her in such a state, he took off in the direction of the Fairy Hill's dormitory, wanting to keep Lucy's word. Take care, Lucy.

"…"

Lucy gazed up into the pitch-black abyss. She felt empty. Soulless. All she could feel was the icy winds blowing through her, as if tearing a fragment of her soul each and every time. All she could do was stand there in agony, alone with her own feelings.

Lucy stared down at her feet, noticing the droplets of tears on the ground. Eventually, these tears would evaporate, leaving no trace behind the next day.

Though, the void in her heart won't evaporate as easily.

Deep in her heart, maybe... she thought she could have convinced him he did harbor the same love she did.

Except she never expected Natsu would harbor this love for someone else.

Someone else who he had romantic feelings for.

Someone else who wasn't his partner like she was.

Someone else who wasn't her.

Maybe in another story, we could have been together.

But not this story.

..

.


At the train station…

...

..

.

"We're finally back..." Gray stretched out his arms. "That mission took way longer than I expected."

"Certainly, Gray." Erza got off the station, taking her luggage. "Compared to the last mission, this wasn't as difficult."

The group just got back to town from their mission in the local villages. They didn't have any difficulties handling the monsters and their nests. With a team of formidable wizards, it was a walk in the park.

"Those monsters were quite a disappointment." Gajeel cracked his knuckles. "I didn't really get to go all out."

"Well, all things considered, it was a successful mission." Erza replied.

"Heh, fair enough." Gajeel put his hands in his pockets, then left the group shortly with Lily. "I'm headin' back. Thanks for inviting me."

"Thanks, Gajeel!" Juvia waved.

"I believe we all deserve a long rest after a tough day." Erza said. "It's also getting late, so we should return home soon."

"Yeah, I'm beat." Gray began walking in the direction of his home. "Catch you guys later."

"Gray darling! Why don't you come back with me and sleep together?" Juvia exclaimed with heart eyes.

"Hell no! I can't do that!" Gray shouted back in embarrassment.

"These two are always a pleasant sight." Erza giggled, then turned to the girl who had been remaining silent. "Wendy, let's head back."

"Okay…" Wendy stood beside Erza and held her hand.

"Come, Juvia." Erza tapped her shoulder. "You'll have plenty of time tomorrow to spend with Gray."

"Hmph." Juvia pouted, but reluctantly listened to her.

Erza, Wendy, Juvia, and Carla walked back together to Fairy Hills dormitory. Most of the walk was done in silence, with the sound of their footsteps and Erza's massive cartwheel of her belongings filling the environment.

Juvia soon broke the silence.

"I wonder how Natsu and Lucy's date went." She said, putting her hands behind her back.

"Hmmm…" Erza put a hand on her chin thoughtfully. "I hope they had a satisfactory date."

"Natsu better have returned her feelings! We already left them alone together and all!" Juvia pumped her fists up. "I swear, if he still leaves her hanging…"

"I suppose we'll know tomorrow." Erza chuckled, keeping a watchful eye on Wendy.

"Maybe I should stop by her apartment!" Juvia declared. "I need to know!"

"It's getting pretty late, Juvia." Erza maintained an iron grip on her shoulder. "I'm sure Lucy's fast asleep now. You wouldn't want to disturb her now, would you?"

"O-Of course." Sensing a devilish aura, Juvia pulled Erza's hand away and rubbed her pained shoulder. "You have a point."

Natsu… did you have a good date with Lucy? Wendy hung her head down as head was filled with thoughts about Natsu. Did you… return her feelings? She was afraid to even consider the answer. Her face grew sullen at the mere thought of it. Would I… be able to face him tomorrow? Wendy began rubbing her hands together to cool herself down, as well as her stinging heart.


Sometime later…

..

..

..

The wizards were now in front of the Fairy Hills dormitory. Wendy, Carla, and Juvia began entering through the entrance, but Juvia turned her head around, noticing Erza was standing in place.

"Erza? Are you not coming in?" Juvia asked.

"It's fine. You can go in and rest up. I'll be in shortly." Erza smiled.

"I see. Don't stay out too late." Juvia returned the smile, turning around and left Erza to her company.

Erza let out a sigh, resting her back on the wall beside the entrance. She crossed her arms, gazing in to the night sky. She was wondering about Natsu's feelings. I admit… I'm afraid to hear Natsu's answer tomorrow. If his date with Lucy went swimmingly, that could only mean…

Erza shook her head, not wanting to jump into any conclusions yet. As long as Natsu's followed his feelings, all I can do is support him.

Erza was about to enter the dorm until she heard sounds of footsteps rapidly closing in. An enemy? Erza quickly turned around, about to summon her iron sword, but heard a familiar voice.

"Erza!"

"… Natsu?" Erza's eyes widened in surprise. "What are you doing here at this time?"

"Hey!" Natsu stopped in front of her. "Did you just come back from your mission?"

"Yes. We recently just arrived. The others just left for their rooms."

"I see." Natsu nodded. "Is Wendy already… asleep?"

He's looking for Wendy? Erza thought. "She's quite tired after the mission. I wouldn't want her to be bothered."

"Ah, alright…" Natsu folded his arms. Guess I'll talk to her tomorrow. "Thanks, Erza." He turned around, about to leave…

"Wait, Natsu." Erza walked to his side. "How… was your date with Lucy?"

"Oh, it was fun!" Natsu grinned timidly. "I've understood about my feelings and love better."

"That's good to hear." Erza said, unsure of how to interpret his answer. His smile is giving me mixed signals. She wanted to ask if he returned Lucy's feelings, but ultimately decided not to. Instead, she chose to ask his reason for coming here.

"So, um… did you want to see Wendy?"

"Yeah." Natsu nodded. "There was something I wanted to talk to her about."

"… Oh?" Erza titled her head at a curious angle. "And what would that be?"

"It's… well…" Natsu averted his gaze, finding this topic a bit serious.

Sensing this might be a sensitive topic, Erza waved a hand to dismiss her question. "Don't worry. I was just curious. You can talk about it with her tomorrow."

"… Yeah." Natsu patted her shoulder, then turned around to leave. "I'll be heading back now. Night, Erza!"

"Have a pleasant night, Natsu." Erza waved till his figure vanished in the distance.

It's strange he'd go to see Wendy after his date with Lucy. Erza pondered on that thought for a while. It has my curiosity piqued… she had a few guesses, but would not humor them until tomorrow.

As Erza entered the lobby, she sensed the presence of another being nearby. Her eyes were drawn to the stairs.

"You haven't slept yet, Wendy?" Erza asked with a smile.

Wendy stepped out slowly and revealed herself, rubbing her neck awkwardly. "Did… Natsu come by?"

"Oh, he did." Erza guessed Wendy knew by his lingering scent with her dragon senses. "He wanted to talk to you about something."

"O-Oh?" Wendy's face beamed up, but immediately darkened due to what Erza said next.

"I told him you needed your rest, so he left afterwards."

"I-I see…" Wendy sighed. Maybe it was a good thing he left… I don't think I'm able to face him.

"Did you… ask him about his date with Lucy?" Wendy asked.

"I did." Erza folded her arms. "The date went well, supposedly."

Wendy hummed in response, deciding not to dig any further. It went well, huh…

Erza closely observed Wendy's expression. It seemed like a mixture of both expectance and reluctance… she couldn't tell what was going behind her expression.

"Well, I'm heading to bed, Wendy." Erza patted her head, then passed by her to go to her room. "Have a good night."

"… Good night, Erza." Wendy replied, then went upstairs back to her room. She entered her room and closed the door behind her. She rested her back on the door, drawing back her chin.

Natsu… she was afraid to see him, but there was also a part of her that wanted to meet him. Being nearly two days away from Natsu, she didn't realize how lonely she'd became without him. She craved his attention, his presence… no, she desperately needed him.

But why did he come by? The only conclusion she could reach was he wanted to give an answer to her feelings. Was he… going to reject-

BADUMP.

Her aching heart throbbed uncomfortably against her chest. She slid down against the door into a sitting position, unsure of what to think.

You don't know that, Wendy. You don't know what Natsu came here for. Wendy tried to convince her mind to block off her stream of negative thoughts.

Would it have been better if I didn't confess? If she didn't, Natsu wouldn't have to take her feelings into consideration at all. He wouldn't have any reason to see Wendy… but I don't like that either. It'd just meant he would be giving his attention to only Lucy…

No, I wanted him to know about my feelings. That much was true. If she didn't take her chance to confess that time, she felt she would have already lost her chances… but what if I already did? Would she have preferred to lose her chances with him or take the chance and face rejection? She didn't know which one was worse. Both seemed quite terrible. Wendy sighed deeply.

BADUMP.

This hurts... Wendy stood up and walked to her bed, careful not to wake up Carla who was already sound asleep. She laid down her head on the pillow.

A part of her wanted for tomorrow to never come. But there was a part of her that still held on to a glimmer of hope.

Wendy slowly closed her eyes, descending into an uneventful sleep.

..

.


Natsu's house…

...

..

Natsu returned to his house after stopping by Fairy Hills. He decided he would find Wendy tomorrow to talk about her confession. As he sat on his bed, a sleeping Exceed was alerted to his presence.

"Mhrmrm…" Happy yawned, rubbing his eyes. It seems he just woke up. "Natsu?"

"Oh, sorry, Happy. Did I wake you up?" Natsu asked in an apologetic tone.

"It's fine." Happy stretched his paws. "Where have you been?"

"Just came back from my date with Lu-"

"Ah, right!" Happy jumped up, full of vigor. All his sleepiness was overtaken by his excitement to know about his date. "How'd it go?"

"The date went well. I had a lot of fun with her!" Natsu smiled, then his lips slowly curved downwards.

"Did you accept her feelings?" Happy asked with sparkling eyes full of expectation. "Of course, you must ha-"

"… No." Rubbing his neck, Natsu hung his head down.

"… Huh?" Happy blinked a few times, hearing an answer he wasn't expecting.

"I… turned her down." Natsu rubbed his hands.

"… What?" Happy was in utter disbelief. "HAHH?!"

"Yeah…" Natsu sighed deeply. Not what you were expecting, huh?

"But… how… whuh…"

"The date made me understand my feelings." Natsu stood up. "I realized… I didn't love her romantically."

"You… don't feel the same way?"

"Yeah." Natsu nodded. "I don't feel the same way she does."

"Wow." Happy scratched his cheek, still processing his words. "I was so sure you were going to accept her confession!" I mean, they look practically perfect together! Happy was bewildered beyond words.

"… I thought about that, too." Natsu began pacing back and forth. "It was fun being with her. I would have loved to grow closer to her."

"But…"

"… I don't think it was in the romantic sense." Natsu sighed. "How do I say this… things just never felt different with her, you know? It just… felt right."

"Huh…"

"It's like… things didn't really need to change." Natsu clutched the fabric of his chest.

"Hum, hum." Happy nodded. "Then, what about Wendy?"

"Wendy?"

"Yeah! What do you feel about her?" Happy asked, expecting a certain answer. If he turned down Lucy, then…

"What do I feel about her…?" Natsu drew his chin.

These feelings in my heart…

"I don't know." Natsu answered flatly, briefly raising his shoulders.

"… Heh?" Happy went dotted eyes.

"Recently, I've been thinking about Wendy often." Natsu stroked his chin. "I felt we've gotten closer these past few weeks. She's such a wonderful sister!"

"…" Happy grabbed a fish from his back pouch. "Natsu."

"Yeah?"

THAWP!

"YOU IDIOT!" Happy swung the fish, hitting Natsu on the head.

"Ouch!" Natsu stumbled backwards, rubbing his pained cheek, which had a visible, red outline of a fish. "What was that for?!"

"Why did you turn down Lucy then?" Happy asked in an angry tone.

"Why…? I mean, I just told you! I don't love her romantically!"

"That's not what I mean!" Happy stomped the floor. "Are you going to turn down Wendy too?!"

"I…" Natsu was reminded of Wendy's confession. "I don't…"

"Are you telling me you're going to turn down both their feelings?"

"Wait, Happy!" Natsu placed his palm forward, signalling him to stop talking. "Let me talk. I'm trying to sort my feelings here."

"… Okay. Sorry." Happy exhaled deeply.

"When I turned Lucy down, I told her I… realized my feelings for someone else." Natsu said, sitting on the bed.

"And that 'someone else' is…?" Happy asked, flying to his side.

"She's…" Natsu pondered his own words. Who did he realize his feelings for? He asked himself that question. His heart was leading his mind towards a certain girl.

Wendy.

She was flashing through his mind. Although, he felt… unsure, as if he was afraid to understand his own feelings. Was it okay to have these feelings for someone he's seen as his sister for so long? Why wouldn't it be okay?

"Now, go! Don't keep her waiting."

Lucy's words flashed through his mind. What was I going to say if I met Wendy? Natsu scratched his head. Now that he thought about it, he went to the dormitory without any clear plan in mind. Now I'm glad I didn't get to talk to her. He didn't know what he was going to say.

"Natsu." Happy put his paw on his hand. "What do you really feel about Wendy?"

"I…"

What do I really feel about her?

Whenever he was with Wendy, odd feelings were always stirred within him, feelings he now found pleasant. Feelings that filled his heart with a comfortable warmth. At first, he didn't understand what these feelings were. He never experienced them with Lucy, so he chalked it up to them being close. But why did he always experience them with Wendy? When Wendy confessed to him, those same feelings gave rise again. Why did those feelings rise only with Wendy and no one else?

When he saw Lucy's smile… I could only think of Wendy's smile.

When he held Lucy's hands… I remember how soft Wendy's hands are.

When he was with Lucy… I find myself thinking of Wendy instead.

When Wendy confessed her love to him… I felt happy.

I think I know why now.

These feelings aren't because I see her as my sister.

I don't want to see her just as my sister.

I turned Lucy down because…

It's because I…

He was surprised the answer was so simple, just staring right at him in the face.

It should have been obvious to him a long time ago.

"Aye, sir." Happy smiled, understanding what Natsu was thinking. I was really rooting for Lucy… but Natsu's realized his feelings now. Considering Natsu's and Wendy's relationship these past few weeks, maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Happy kept that thought to himself.

"That means… there's only one thing left to do, Natsu."

"… You got that right, buddy."

..

.


The next day…

..

.

The Sun rose over the horizon, signaling the start of a new day. Shining through the windows, the morning light struck the sleeping eyes of the blue-haired girl. In response, she groggily flipped her body and buried her head under the pillow.

"It's time to wake up, Wendy." A voice called out to her.

"Mhmm…" was what the girl under the blankets replied.

"Come on, child. You shouldn't be sleeping in."

"Mhrmrm…" Wendy grumbled, wanting to stay under the blanket.

"Wendy…" Carla gazed at her in silence, then got off the bed. "It's okay. I won't force you to get up."

"Mrmhmh?"

"After what happened, I imagine the situation is… quite difficult." Carla said in a vague tone, alluding to an event two days ago. "But you'll have to confront it, eventually."

"…" Wendy slowly got up, removing the pillow off her head. "I'm up. I'm up."

"Color me surprised. I thought you'd rather stay in your room all day." Carla folded her arms.

Wendy remained silent, instead walking to her wardrobe and taking her necessities for bath time.

"Carla."

"What is it?"

"Did I make the right decision?" Wendy asked in a serious tone.

"Hmmm?" Carla wondered. The right decision? What decision is she referring to?

"Did I make the right decision to confess to Natsu?" Wendy bowed her head down.

Carla's eyes widened in realization. "Ah, well…" She wanted to ask Wendy about her confession but never found the right timing to do so.

She pondered her mind for a moment. It's not my place to say whether it was right or wrong… but she figured Wendy was well aware of that.

"As long as you were following your feelings, I'd say it was the best decision you could have taken." Carla answered with sincerity. Was it a rash decision? It might have been, but it was the best decision she'd taken for herself. That's what I truly believe. I'd say Lucy's confession had driven her to take this decision…

"I see…" Wendy whispered, seemingly unconvinced. Her mind and heart were currently full of doubts, hence her question to Carla. Staying in her room all day was a tempting, temporary solution… but there's no point in hiding. I have to face him, one way or another.

She remained silent for a little while, then turned her head to her Exceed. "Let's take a bath, Carla."

"Sure."


On the way to the guild…

Wendy and Carla set forth towards the Fairy Tail guild. The path towards the guild was just like any other day. At least, it was supposed to be.

"It's a lovely day, isn't it?" Carla asked, flying beside Wendy.

"Yeah…" Wendy answered timidly.

Carla noticed her reply didn't seem… enthusiastic. She was hoping to make conversation to distract Wendy from thinking about what was going to happen, but the conversation ended already.

As they neared the guild's entrance, Wendy slowed down her pace, as if she didn't want to be here. As if she wanted to run away. Regardless, she kept moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other… until they were right in front of the entrance. She hovered her hand over the handle, reluctant to take any action.

"Wendy…" Carla whispered.

"S-Sorry." Wendy took a deep breath and let it out. "I've been really anxious since... the confession." Since their date...

"Oh, I could tell, child." Carla smiled, placing a paw on her hand. "I can't blame you at all. I imagine it is nerve-wrecking." She was glad Wendy was allowing herself to feel a little vulnerable.

Wendy forced a smile back. After she enters the guild, there was no going back. She had to steel her resolve. Whatever was going to happen, she had to accept it.

BADUMP.

Wendy gripped the clothes around her chest, trying to calm her aching heart. Her heart hadn't been calm since she woke up. She had been assaulted by unsettling feelings, and it was beginning to take a toll on her mental.

Keep it together, Wendy.


In the guild…

"Haaaaah…" Natsu let out a long sigh, stretching his arms over the table.

"You're unusually tired so early in the morning, Natsu." Mirajane commented. "You're not going to pick any fights? I'm sure that'll get you going."

"No… I'm just waiting." Natsu raised his head. "I'm not really in the mood to fight."

"You're… waiting?" Mirajane inquired. Waiting? Is he waiting for someone? She scanned the guildhall, looking for a certain celestial wizard. "Huh, are you waiting for Lucy?"

"…" Natsu's eyebrows twitched. Now that Mirajane mentioned it, where was Lucy? Was she still at her apartment? I hope she's doing okay. Natsu had considered visiting Lucy before going to the guild, but his intuition was telling him that Lucy probably needed some alone time.

Mirajane observed the frown on Natsu's face. She heard about his date with Lucy yesterday, and it went well apparently. But if Lucy's not the person he's waiting for…

"Is it Wendy?" Mirajane guessed, putting a finger on her chin.

Heat began rising in Natsu's face. He reflexively used his scarf to hide his cheeks. Wait, why the hell am I blushing?!

"Oh… Oh… Oh?!" Mirajane's eyes sparkled with excitement. What a surprising development!

"Once she figures it out, there's no stopping her." Happy sighed.

"I need details, Natsu." Mirajane slammed her hands on the table. "I need them all."

"L-Look, Mira… I just want to talk with her about something important." Natsu rubbed his neck "Now, quit nagging me."

"My, my! All that does is make me more curious!" Mirajane cupped her cheeks. "Does it have to do with love?"

"Uhh…" Natsu averted his gaze. She hit the mark perfectly.

Judging by Natsu's expression, Mirajane knew she was right on the money.

Soon, the doors into the guild were pushed open, revealing none other than…

"Ah, speak of the devil."