In the dark of the night, as Jack Keeter sang in the shower (loudly), as Harm and Mac made love (feverishly), as Bud rearranged the pillows for Harriet (carefully), as Meg checked on her kids sleeping (dreamlessly), a window opened at Manderley's ground floor and a thin figure in dark pants and haphazardly buttoned shirt snuck out. He knew he had to be careful. There were at least three more men in the house beside the one who was currently bleeding to death on the carpet of his bedroom. Noiselessly.


"How could you?" Harm asked Meg as soon as he stepped into her office the next morning. Keeter had taken Mac out. Upon inquiring as to where exactly Harm was told to stop being nosy, but it apparently involved cammies and fresh air. Harm was grateful and Mac seemed genuinely excited, though Jack was, in Harm's view, enjoying the role of Prince Charming-and-Caring a bit too much. He made a mental note to get Mac out of town at the earliest possible occasion. When that would be he had no idea. They were essentially homeless, though their bank accounts kept them comfortable at the hotel for now. And there was a more pressing matter to attend to than buying/renting a new place. Their place. He was not ready to live in a place where she wasn't.

"Why?" was his next question following the first without waiting for an answer.

Meg was sitting behind her desk... behind what used to be Mac's desk... with a slight frown on her face. She had spent a sleepless night, pacing through the apartment, unable to sleep or read or watch TV. She had smoothed the blankets cocooning her sleeping children at least fifty times. She was nervous. Anxious. The more she tried to convince herself she had a right to be happy and to be happy on her terms, the more frustrated she was becoming with getting nowhere with Harm.

Yesterday she took all of her courage and all-business-like marched up to him outside the headquarters. He was just unlocking his car when he registered her and his eyes narrowed a tiny bit. Everything had become so professional between them the passers-by could cut themselves on the cold air surrounding them. "Commander Rabb," she told him. "I believe you should know I plan to inform General Cresswell of your lapse of good judgement regarding Colonel Mackenzie."

"Wait. What?" he struggled for words as well as understanding.

"I cannot in good faith cover up a relationship which violates the rules of conduct we are all bound by our service." She made a small pause and continued in a softer tone: "Harm, I am giving you a heads-up here. Others would not be so generous. But I have to... It is my duty to... I am informing Cresswell that you have started an affair with Mackenzie. It is most than probably that you two will be charged with fraternization."

He just stared at her and then could only manage: "What the hell, Meg?"

"I saw you," she blurted out then. "I saw the two of you. Kissing at JAG of all places. What were you thinking? But there is more than that. I saw you... stripped together in a shower. I saw you sleeping in the same bed. And there is no way in hell you could ever convince me you are not screwing her."

The words could be so ugly and hurtful. They certainly were now. But they were true and she had to say them. Courage then deserted her. She turned away and nearly ran away from him. She was dreading the confrontation which was surely coming. And now he was standing in her office, the door firmly closed even if the blinds were not.

"I told you yesterday," she started, then paused, coughed, and only then found her voice again: "It is my duty as an officer..."

"Cut the bullcrap," he snapped at her. "This has nothing to do with your devotion to the standards of conduct. You... you would have been just fine with breaching all the protocols that night you kissed me. If I had taken you up on your offer, would you have enjoyed the fuck and then run to Cresswell the next morning to inform him?" He was deliberately crude and with some satisfaction saw his words have found the mark. She paled a little but she returned the blow.

"Unlike you and Mackenzie you and I are not in the same chain of command. And I assure you, Harm if you had stayed that night, you would never think of anybody else's body in your bed ever again. What is it about her anyway? Why are you so taken with her? Why is Webb? Why that Australian? That lawyer who died or that crazy cop that killed him exactly because of her? A good, honourable officer like John Farrow was willing to go to prison for her and her actual husband would be alive had it not been for coming back for her. You ask me why I want to expose you? Because I love you. Because that woman is like a bad mojo and she will drag you down with her. Because if I stop you now it might not go any further than an Article 32 hearing."

"That is your plan?" he asked incredulously. "And what then? Do you think destroying my career and dragging me through the mud will lure me to your bed? Really? Not much of a seduction technique," he laughed bitterly.

"You are the junior officer, Harm, you do not write her fit-reps. She writes yours!" Meg stated and finally stood up from the chair. Her balled fists pressed to the desk when she leaned on it. "And unlike her, you have never committed adultery and fraternization before. If anyone takes the blow it is her and you cannot possibly tell me it would not be deserved! Imagine you don't know her for a second. She is a complete stranger. Judge her without bias. She is not innocent!"

"Neither am I," he argued heatedly through nearly gritted teeth. "You want all of the details? Fine! I have committed fraternization before. Remember Kate Pike? We had a pretty wild weekend full of some crazy sex. We were in the same chain of command. I was her senior officer. Oh yeah, don't look so shocked. I did that. Unlike me, Mac actually did not start her relationship with Farrow before she got her rotation orders. And it was an actual relationship, not just mindless sex to scratch an itch!" He almost choked on that truth. When it came to Mac's previous boyfriends Farrow was the only one Harm had still felt jealous of and even somewhat insecure about. It had been too clear Mac still admired and on some level even loved him, and Farrow himself never pretended not to care deeply about her still. "So you know what? Don't forget to mention it to Cresswell when you talk to him!"

"You and Kate... you..." Meg was lost for words. She felt as if he had hit her. So he had slept with Mackenzi and he slept with Pike but he turned her down? She felt the prickly fingers of shame squeezing her insides. Shame and jealousy. Enough was enough.

"I just don't understand," Harm said then. "Why, Meg? Don't pretend this had anything to do with our jobs. Are you actually that hateful? Will you really damage my career - and Mac's - because I what? Didn't sleep with you?"

"Sleep with me!" she burst out. "Do you think I am some cheap..."

"So what is it you want from me?!" he cried out. Outside more than one head turned into the direction of the office. The glass panes were hardly soundproof. Meg noticed and lowered her voice.

"A chance," she said firmly. "I want you to give me a chance. Give us a chance. Can you really not even do that? I have so much to offer you. You have everything I need. Harm, can't you even... give us a try? Please?"

She was back to pleading and she hated it.

"Meg," Harm said after a pause. "I love somebody else. I cannot turn it on and off. I don't want to be with you. I need to be with her."

"No matter the cost?" she said bitterly. She lost. She lost him for good. He must think her a complete and utter fool. Would he laugh at her later? Would he go to Mackenzie and tell all of this as a joke?

"No matter the cost," he confirmed. "So go ahead. File your report. Go and complain about me to Cresswell. Ruin our careers. Get us kicked out of the service. Damage whatever is left from our reputation. Go ahead. And enjoy it."

He turned to leave but stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "Tell me one thing: if I said yes to you just now, if I agreed to leave Mac and date you, would you have dropped the charges?"

She swallowed.

"No."

"Well, at least I see you really do take standards of conduct really seriously."

"Harm..."

But the door was already opened and he strode out.


Almost shaking with anger, Meg grabbed the file containing her report and shot out as well. She made a beeline towards Cresswell's office.

"When is the General coming back?" she barked at the Petty Officer behind the desk. "He was supposed to be back already? Where is he?"

"He was delayed," the young man almost stammered. "The Secnav has insisted on his presence at some meeting with foreign dignitaries."

"When is he going to be back?" Everything in her simmered. She hated this. At the moment she hated everything. Her job. Harm. Mackenzie. She hated herself for feeling this way. It was over. It was all over. She would not humiliate herself ever again. He could have that ... that whore. But he would have her along with all the consequences. Lieutenant Commander Megan Hartley-Austin was going to fulfil her duty.

"I have no idea, ma'am. But if you have an urgent business, I have been told that Commander Turner has been chosen as the acting JAG until the General does make it back to the headquarters."

She was tired of waiting.

"Is Commander Turner in the office now?"

"He has arrived ten minutes ago."

Without asking to be announced Meg turned, knocked on the door and let herself in.