She held her breath for a majority of the time she was outside. Many days passed since her unit last performed their training. The rest of the week was practicing the formalities of graduation. They had a brief explanation on what would happen during Family Day and even prepared for it a few times. She felt tense as she listened to the speeches. She was amazed at how many people there were here. These were all families of her fellow soldiers. And somewhere in there, she knew, was her mother.
She realized she was nervous. Stiff as she followed her fellow men and women, keeping her stare straight. It would wander as she peered at the crowds curiously, then her eyes would find their way to the General and drill sergeants across from them. Her gaze stopped the moment she found the Supreme Commander lingering around, observing everything around him. They neglected to mention he would make an appearance today. That brought a chill to her spine, knowing his eyes were constantly scanning them as they stood there.
'Of course he would be here. Why wouldn't he? He's managed to pop up no matter where I go...' She thought to herself.
Everything went by like a blur. Even when Kane stood at the podium and lent his words, she tuned out most of it. His speech was encouraging, but she couldn't get distracted today. She had to keep her chin up and appear to be the tough soldier she promised her mother she would become. As the Commander removed himself from the makeshift stage, he gave them the cue to begin moving. She finally let out her breath. She followed along as they moved on the field, where they were told to go as they waited for their families. She stood still and watched as relatives greeted those around her. Her heart ached seeing their content smiles as the minutes passed by.
"Valerie?"
Her body froze as a familiar voice called out to her. A woman emerged from the crowd and approached her slowly. She recognized her mother right away. Nothing changed about her from the time they departed. She had short, black hair tucked to the side, with a few graying strands on the end. Her face was round and her skin the same dark brown as her daughter's. They shared the same caramel-colored eyes, which locked with one other when they were only a few inches away. She was shorter than her, but that didn't stop her from looking at her child with admiration in her eyes. Valerie relaxed her shoulders and returned the embrace when her mother hugged her tightly.
"Oh, how I've missed you...it feels so long since I have seen you..."
She lovingly patted the shorter woman on the back. It felt longer than it really was. Her mother eventually withdrew and placed her hands on her shoulders, looking at her with a fond smile. She couldn't think of a single thing to say. They had plenty to catch up on now that they're together...
She giggled, stroking her thumb lightly across her cheek. "I remember when you refused to wear your hair up. Now it is a requirement, isn't it?"
Her hand found its way to her curled black hair, which was currently kept up as to not let the bangs fall in her face. She remembered when she had longer hair before she cut it for training. She sometimes missed being able to freely wear it however she wanted, but that was one of the many regulations she had to follow now. She forgot all about it until this point. She gave her mother an apologetic grin.
"Sort of. This is the way I chose to wear it." She changed the subject quickly. "-How have things been? You are alright, aren't you?"
"It's tough living alone. But this may be for a long time, so I've been working hard." She started walking alongside Valerie. "-Your father would be proud. Your graduation is going to be special. I'm sure, if he were still around, he'd come and see you."
Her heart sunk a little. "I know he would. I've been training hard so I can fight for him."
"He'd be happy no matter what you chose to do. If this is the path you want to take, I will support you." She clasped her hands together. "After this is more training, isn't it?"
"Oh, that's what I wanted to talk with you about...I decided that I am going to join the navy instead."
"The Navy? But, dolcezza, you cannot-"
"-Swim. I know. That is why I didn't initially choose it, but..." She bit her lip. "I was offered lessons. After that, I'll be enrolled in training. It means I can face pirates! Maybe even the ones who killed dad..."
"I do not blame you for changing your mind. I just hope things go well. I know how you are with water..."
"I'll be fine, mom. I wouldn't have accepted it if I thought I couldn't do it."
The two of them strolled around the implanted path around the front gardens. They caught up in this time. It felt refreshing to hear that things had been going well at home. Her friends were still waiting for her eventual return, and her mother fared well enough on her own in this time. She spoke of her experience with training and even ranted about those bothersome women, to which her mother chuckled at.
She neglected to mention her encounters with the Commander and her recent revelations surrounding him...she purposefully tread around the subject, hoping he wouldn't come up. But fate made it inevitable, as they stumbled upon Kane talking with General Rooke, along with a few other men among the commotion outside. Valerie wished to avoid them and move past as quickly as possible, but her mother remained where she was, sighing blissfully.
Under her breath, she muttered. "What a man...Look at him, mia figlia."
"Who? General Rooke?"
"I was talking about the Commander." As if she didn't already know. "I never thought I'd see him in my life. He's talked about a lot back at home. Everywhere I go, actually." She rested a hand on her chest. "He's a war hero, you know."
"So I have heard..."
"-There are many stories about him. When someone is talked about that much, you start to think they are not real, but..." Her tone went soft. "There he is. In person. He looks just as I imagined..."
"Mother, you aren't one of his...fans, are you?"
"Heavens no! I'm not obsessed like some are, but...I cannot help get fascinated with someone so famous. I admire him, is all."
Her mother's stare on the Commander's back prolonged. She noticed her interest and sighed. 'At least I know where I get it from...'
She bit her lip and grabbed onto her arm, leading them over to Kane's direction. She could hear the pounding in her ears and felt her mother fight against her grip. Even she didn't understand why she was doing this. But if fate was going to keep bringing her to this man, why should she try and avoid it anymore?
"What are you doing? You're not going to bring us to him, are you? Honey, I know what I said, but he looks- ohhh...."
Her frantic objections ceased when they were close enough to get a good look at Kane. They got his attention fairly quickly as he turned to look at them. This was the moment her mother got a closer look at his face.
She was understandably in awe.
Valerie decided to speak for her, grinning nervously as she shuffled around the other woman. She gave a bow of the head. "So sorry to disturb you, sir, but I was wondering(if you had the time, that is)...if you'd like to meet my mother?"
It felt as if her heart was going to burst out of her ears while she waited anxiously. Kane glanced between the two of them a few times without a word. To her surprise, he nodded. "-Not at all." He gave the other men a wave of the hand. "If you excuse me..."
Rooke and the others watched him lead the three of them away. She was shocked as she walked alongside him. She wasn't expecting him to actually agree to getting pulled away to meet her mother...But she certainly wasn't going to complain.
He led them to a more quiet area, where they could have a peaceful conversation. She could see how delighted her mother was, judging by the grin plastered on her face, and the way she jumped in excitement when he offered his gloved hand to her.
"Buonasera, Commander! I-I can't believe I'm meeting you! It's like a dream come true." She shook his hand generously and eagerly turned to her daughter, mouthing the words: 'I'M HOLDING HIS HAND!' Valerie felt herself getting embarrassed and hid her face with her hand.
"You must be Mrs. Toscani. It is a pleasure to meet you. Your daughter is going to make an excellent soldier."
"Oh, please, call me Emilia. Valerie's told me all about her training. It makes me happy that you see her potential."
"She's proven herself to me in plenty of ways." His gaze came to hers. Her breath hitched in her throat. "-That is why I'm offering my support for her lessons. I have great expectations she'll succeed with her new field."
Emilia gasped. "You don't have to-"
"-I insist. It is not a monetary burden on me at all. I am always willing to assist my soldiers who would greatly benefit from it."
"They said you were generous. I can tell my friends back at home that is true." She inched closer to him as she marveled at his face. "Then again, there is a lot said about you...you are more handsome than they've described..."
Valerie watched in astonishment as her mother gained the audacity to touch the side of his face. Kane didn't stir. In fact, he watched curiously as her palm lightly slid against his cheekbone. It was only when she got close to his mask that he politely moved her wrist away.
Emilia had an endearing look on her face as she removed her hand, rubbing her fingers together to savor the touch. Her daughter idly stood in the background, unsure of what to say. She got to touch the Commander while the most contact she'd ever had with that man was when he gave her his handkerchief! A slight twinge of jealousy arose in her throat, and she cleared it to dismiss it right away.
"Your skin is so soft. It's like I was touching satin! And your hair is beautifully long, I just adore the bow...You must take good care of your appearance. You look absolutely striking."
Valerie finally butted in, stepping between the two of them and giving him a nervous smile. "Sir, I would like to apologize on behalf of my mother for being so embarrassing..."
"Don't be so flustered, topolina! I'm sure he gets plenty of women telling him how good-looking he is! I just thought he'd appreciate it coming from someone his own age..."
Before she could rebut, Kane leaned forward curiously. "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking...?"
Emilia paused. "I turn 57 this year."
"I am actually 40 years old." He informed.
Both of their jaws dropped in surprise. Valerie became flabbergasted at this information. All this time she believed he was older than her. Maybe, even of her mother's age...She was 36! To learn that a man only 4 years older than her had complete control over an entire army, established himself as the smartest man around, and was considered a celebrity in Valencia made her feel somewhat timid.
At least it explained why he LOOKED so young...
"That...that isn't possible, is it?" She blinked at him. "You'd be the youngest Supreme Commander I've ever heard of."
"I am. I worked incredibly hard in my youth to join the military, and pursued my career since then." He turned his attention to her. "You are actually the oldest cadet I've met. Most start training after their schooling."
She pinched her lips together. That would explain why those girls seemed so obnoxious...they're younger than she is. It made their crushes on Kane seem rather silly, the more she thought about it - he is practically twice their age, but with her, they only had a 4 year difference between them...They are two adults, aren't they? 'What am I thinking?' She scolded herself for getting swept away by these thoughts again and brought her attention back to the Commander.
"I realized my true calling a little late. I had no initiative to join before, but after...well..."
"Oh, yes. I am terribly sorry to hear about what happened to your husband." He moved back to Emilia. "I'm happy to inform you that my navy enforce the laws overseas. Piracy happens to be a big problem at the moment, and we are working to abolish it."
"Is it, now? It relieves me to know you are protecting the men out at sea. If only it had been in time..."
Her sorrowful look make Valerie's chest turn cold. She comforted her mother right away. She could feel Kane's stare on them as she continued to pat Emilia's shoulder. At least the Valencian forces were policing against those rapscallions. It inspired her to join them out on sea. She smiled softly, relieved to know she'll actually be doing something about this pirate problem. So her mother wouldn't have to reminisce the injustice anymore.
This is the right choice. She knows it.
Kane glanced to the side and stood up straight. "I apologize, but I must be going. It was a pleasure to meet you. I wish the two of you a pleasant day, and I will see you both at graduation."
They bowed their heads. "Thank you, Commander."
He dismissed himself and walked back to Rooke. Valerie and Emilia watched him go, their eyes hesitant to leave his figure. When he was out of sight, they reluctantly let go. She could see a new spark in her mother's eyes, as well as a knowing smile that stretched on her lips. She expected her to go on and on about what happened, what they learned about Kane that neither of them knew until now...She was instead pulled forward by her arm and noticed they were walking towards the exit.
"Come, let's get you checked out. We can have our own mother-daughter day."
She was never this happy to leave the gates of an army post. She allowed Emilia to drag her eagerly by the wrist. She felt relieved when she found herself truly outside for the first time in months.
The rest of their afternoon was spent taking scenic walks together. They caught up on other things, though Valerie was surprised the subject of the Commander wasn't brought up at all. They further discussed the situation back at home and how missed she was there. She assured her mother she would return once everything was settled. When she told her those words, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach. It made her wonder if her plans were going to change more than she thought. She wanted nothing more than to return home someday, and yet...
She refused to think about these things as she spent time with Emilia. They visited a couple of libraries, went on a few walks, and even chatted by the canals. She was more than content by the time evening came around. They decided to end their night together having dinner in a restaurant. Things had been going exceedingly well as they talked about what they'd seen that day.
As soon as they received their food, Valerie mentioned how refreshing it was to have an actual meal for once. That engaged a discussion about what she ate at the barracks, and inevitably, the conversation found its way back to the man they hadn't spoken of for hours.
"The Commander was more kind than I thought he'd be," Emilia commented. "For a man that has so much power and all that attention, I didn't think he was willing to talk to us."
"I wasn't expecting to learn more about him." She poked at her food. "We talked a few times before, but I didn't know his age. Or anything about his navy, for that matter."
"-You spoke to him before? How did you manage that?"
"I was chosen with a few others to train in front of him. He said he wanted to see the potential of his future soldiers and picked the ones that were doing well. I happened to be one of them." Her cheeks burned when her mother perked up. "Which was only because General Rooke thought I was doing exceptional work..."
"You got to speak with him more. When did that happen?"
She scrunched her nose. "I am not sure I understand why, but he pulled me aside to ask me about why I joined. I told him about dad and those pirates, and he seemed interested. I thought that would be the last time we spoke, but then he talked with me again and asked me about joining his navy. That was when he offered me those lessons."
She sat back in her seat rather coyly. There was that knowing smile again. "Dolcezza, it sounds like you caught the Commander's attention..."
She ducked her head closer to her plate, growing a little hot at her words. "-Yes, he told me that..."
She started eating again and avoided her mother's gaze. Emilia caught onto this. She giggled as she picked at her food. Her eyes glanced up from the plate in confusion. She didn't think anything was funny about what she just said. Swallowing her food, she sat down her utensils and wiped her mouth to glare at the older woman across from her.
"What are you laughing at...?"
"I can see the glimmer in your eyes. I had the same look whenever I talked about your father." She held a finger to her lips. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a little crush on him..!"
She coughed loudly, patting her chest to calm down. She desperately grabbed for her water and found her mother laughing. Her face heated in embarrassment as she put the glass down and attempted to think of something to say.
How had it been that obvious? She didn't even SAY anything...flattering about him!
She waited until she calmed down and sighed, resting her hand on her forehead. She didn't want to relive these feelings like she had been every night for weeks...they were torture enough on their own. But to have her own mother aware of them...
"I do not have a crush on him! That'd be ridiculous. I'm his subordinate, and even if I DID, it wouldn't be possible..."
"Oh, but you'd be surprised." She didn't elaborate on this. "-Besides, I'm not blaming you...he is quite charming. Now, I'm not one to gawk at other men since your father passed, but I think you and I can agree he's got quite-"
"Mother, please stop talking..."
"-So what is the big deal? You two are almost the same age. If there's anyone that even remotely has a chance with him, it's you! He's accomplished a lot. That's impressive for a man starting his 40's." She reached over and placed a hand over Valerie's. "Do not be embarrassed, sweetheart. It's natural to feel this way."
"But it is with my Commander, and it is not right..."
"It's not immoral to have feelings for your superiors."
"Yes, it is!"
"All I want is for you to be happy. You seem excited about the lessons you're going to get. Kane is the one helping you get them. Maybe you'll see more of him." She could see her daughter shaking in her seat. "It's just a thought..."
"Can we please finish our dinner, now?"
Emilia shrugged and resumed her meal. She felt better having the subject dropped. But there were still butterflies in her stomach that refused to go away. As her heart hammered in her chest, she realized she lost her appetite. She couldn't stop thinking of the possibility of her mother being right.
What if it wasn't wrong for her to have feelings for Kane? And what if this new path of hers meant she'll get to see more of him? She wanted to believe in what seemed the least possible to her...
They ended their evening together and she hugged her mother outside the restaurant. She felt at peace since the butterflies finally went away. Her heart felt warm, as did her body. Emilia pulled away and stared into her eyes again. Valerie realized how better she felt now that she saw her. It was good to be assured for something she felt so insecure about before.
"Grazie, mamma. For everything."
She smiled back. She saw the same glint in her daughter's eyes again. "Of course."
