Today I had to dress up fancy in my best northern dress to welcome the king and queen. Did I really feel like it? No, god I didn't want them here but Ned word is law here!
"Oh smile Lil" Looking up I saw Ned "Not all that bad"
"Hmm will see" I smirked "You're not the one wearing this tight dress"
"Thank god, awful sight that be" Catelyn smirked wrapping her arms around her husband "Have you see Bran?"
"If I know Bran I'd say probably climbing Milady" Catelyn nodded before walking to find him.
"Lillian I know you don't like the idea of them coming I don't blame you but I hope you don't find discomfort with them being here and if anyone I mean anyone touches you, please tell me" he nodded "You may not be my daughter but I'll always treat you as one"
"Thank you milord"
"Come on we've got things to do" he bumped my hip
"Don't seem to happy they'll notice"
"I my Lady" Walking with the lord I stood next to Jon who stood next to Theon and beside Theon the twins stood. We watched as one by one the king's guard came into our home.
When King Robert stepped out we all dropped to our knees, When King Robert finally got his huge self off the horse he approached Ned, gesturing to stand we waited for our lord to raise and followed in suit.
"Your grace" Ned nodded
I zoned out as they spoke, my eyes glancing over the guards that came and the stories I had heard. I was in my own mind when I felt my arm being pulled "What?" I snapped turning to the person who held my hand captured.
"They've left Lily, come on" Jon smirked
God did he have to be so charming and caring all the time "What I miss?"
"Not much" He shrugged "Want to go for a ride before dinner? Not that I'm welcomed but-"
"Sure" I said cutting him off "Love too"
Walking with Jon to the stables it was quiet, dead quiet. Saddling water I began to ride, Ghost and Shadow at our sides, laughing I kicked my father horse watching our wolf pups chase us, laughter in the air. These were the moments were I seen a part of the old me, I was carefree without a tortured past.
Coming to a stop we jumped off our horses "So you hear of the farmer boy?" Jon asked
"The farmer boy" I frowned confused tying the horse to the tree
"Ah yeah Brent punched him yesterday"
"Why? Wait I spoke to Brent he said nothing of the sorts" I pointed out
"Said and I quote make my sister cry again and it will be more than a bleeding nose you'll have to worry about" he smirked "He is beyond scary when it comes to Nadine"
"Well they are twins" I shrugged
Taking a seat Jon did the same behind me and I leant on his chest "Do you find it weird? Them all being here?" he questioned his hands drawing circles on my shoulder.
"He wants something, King Robert is not here for no reason, been 9 years he wants your father as his hand" I was determined with that being why he was here.
"You think?"
"I'm sure of it and I don't like having them here, Lannisters" I scrunched my nose up "They are something, I don't trust them"
Jon chuckled "You don't like many that aren't from the North" he smirked
"Hey I don't like the Whitehills" I pointed out
"Oh seven hells who does"
"Did you know Nadine likes Ethan?" I asked
"More than know, Ethan adores your sister and Nadine well she's head over toes for him"
"Seven Hells I thought it was a childish crush, I am getting blind" I scoffed "who does Brent like?"
"Touché subject" Jon whispered. Frowning I turned looking at him "Sansa he likes Sansa" he stated
"Seven hells I am blind" I shook my head "Sansa older though she will see him as her little brother" I signed because that what I you see when you look at me my thoughts screamed at Jon.
"We better go back you have a party to get ready for" Jon nodded
"Lady Stark use some excuse again to deny you?"
"Insult to the royal family" he whispered
"Sometimes I wish she'd swallow her pride and let you in" I signed turning to face him, I looked into his brown eyes "Know I care Jon I will always accept you, in my eyes you're not a bastard you are a Stark"
"Come on Lillian" Hated how he shut me out like that getting up I headed off to my horse letting out a little whistle and having Shadow follow me as I rode fast, Jon struggling to keep up.
Jon POV
I watched Lillian ride fast, leaving me still standing, I had pissed her off great. Signing I saddled my horse and rode off after her. When we reached the stables I jumped off handing my horse to the stable boy.
"Lillian wait" Lillian was hard to read I've never seen her cry even when she's hurt she's silent. Grabbing her shoulders I turned her around "Aye fucked up didn't I?"
"Aye you did" she nodded "You're an idiot, I've got to go" Lillian pulled her arm from me and walked away.
"Lillian" I called out frustrated
"You're not a bastard I wish you knew that" Lillian shook her head going inside.
Heading to practice dummy I began hitting it with my sword, letting out my frustration hitting the bag over and over again with my sword. I was annoyed at myself for not being able to tell her how I feel.
"Is he dead" Turning to the sound of a voice I recognised
"Uncle Benjen" I smiled wrapping my arms around him in a hug
"You got bigger. I rode all day" he smirked "Didn't want to leave you along with the Lannisters. Why aren't you at the feast?"
I signed "Lady Stark thought it might insult the royal family to seat a bastard in their midst"
"Well, you're always welcome on the wall. No Bastard was ever refused a seat there"
"So take me with you when you go back" I begged
"Jon"
"Father will let me if you ask him, I know he will"
"The Wall isn't going anywhere"
"I'm ready to swear your oath!" I signed
"You don't understand what you'd be giving up. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons"
"I don't care about that" I huffed in frustration
"You might, if you knew what it meant. And if I remember didn't you have your eyes set on Lady Falls?" Benjen stared at me "Would you walk away from the one you love?"
"She doesn't love me, I'm a bastard she deserves better anyways"
"Well I don't think that be fair to swear oath without telling her how you feel" Uncle Benjen patted my back "I'd better get inside. Rescue your father from his guests. We'll talk later"
I watched Uncle Benjen leave for the Banquet, leaving me standing there if father say yes I'll go to the war and swear the oath of the night watchers.
"Your uncle's in the Night's Watch" Turning to the sound I looked at the imp, holding a drink in his hand.
"What you doing back here?" I frowned
"Preparing for a night with your family. I've always wanted to see the Wall"
"You're Tyrion Lannisters. The queen's brother?" I stated
"My greatest accomplishment. You – you're Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you?" I frowned looking away is that all I'll ever be known as Ned Stark Bastard.
"Did I offend you? Sorry. You are the bastard, though."
"Lord Eddard Stark is my father"
"And Lady Stark is not your mother. Making you a bastard. Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour. Then it can never be used to hurt you"
"What the hell do you know about being a bastard?"
"All dwarves are bastards in their fathers' eyes" I watched the imp take another sip before disappearing, frowning I grabbed my sword and let it all out on the dummy.
"Jon" Turning to the voice I know "Are you okay?"
"You are angry at me"
"Because you're stupid and think no one cares about you" Lillian frowned "I see you as I do and you get mad at that" she huffed in frustration.
"I'm going to the wall, I'm asking father than I'm taking the Oath," I told her my heart stinging as I did.
"Why?" she whispered
"Feel like I'd belong"
"Jon you can't"
"That it Lillian" Frowning I walked away from Lillian leaving her in the dark. I'm not going to let her talk me out of it. She deserves better, I will bite my tongue and say nothing to her.
Hey Guys!
If you'd like me to continue this please review I'd appreciate it very much. And if use like it that much and review I'll post the next Chapter.
Jeanette :)
