Queen was standing on the balcony outside, watching the birds climb around in the trees. Their soft chirps were accompanied by the sound of water falling from a nearby fountain. The beautiful melody of nature joined with it - occasional gusts of wind rustling the leaves. Everything was colorful. The grass was a healthy green, complimenting the flowers that were blooming in the gardens. There was a clean pathway encircling the fountain with a bench sitting in the middle of the scenery, currently unoccupied.
She imagined sitting there and enjoying the sight with Kane. But she was alone right now.
His backyard was beautiful. She wondered if he paid people to tend to these things - if he had servants and maids like the upper classes do. But she hadn't seen a single one around. Maybe the Elite took care of the landscaping? They all seemed so busy…she knitted her eyebrows together thinking of this minor detail, returning to the room after a minute or two.
This was how she spent her time. Wandering around their bedroom, too depressed to go anywhere further. She had the room memorized at this point. The bathroom was especially gorgeous. The tub was commodious, she learned - fitting her and Kane for the nights they had time to bathe together.
It was the first time she recalled feeling comfortable in water. He lived a life of luxury - and she'd be damned if she didn't have her share, being cooped up in those barracks before she met him.
She approached the sink and splashed her face with water. Her heart ached again. She had no clue where he was right now. It'd drive her into a headache searching for him again. He was purposefully avoiding her…She doused her face before any tears could fall, and stared into the mirror perched above the sink wordlessly.
Her eyes were red. She found herself getting congested. She didn't want to cry again. She owed it to Deacon to find her composure, after he went through the trouble of comforting her. It felt like she'd been alone this past week…she hadn't realized how badly she craved company. Her brown eyes moved to the mask sitting on the table just outside the door. Her gut sank.
She picked it up and slid her finger over the feathers. She couldn't believe Kane crafted it himself. Such a wonderful shade of gold, her favorite color she wore all the time with her dresses…she bit her lip remembering what she called him. A sob escaped her throat. She never meant it. How could call him 'selfish', after all he'd done for her…?
A knock on the door startled her. "Queen?"
The mask fell from her hands. She bent down to pick it up, brushing her hair back in a hurried motion. His voice sounded like music to her ears after all this time…she quickly checked back in the mirror. It would be impossible to hide that she was crying. She wasn't going to bother. He'd seen her in a worse condition, after all - the bloody mess when that soldier punched her in the face..
"Come in." She replied, voice wavering.
There was a pause before the door opened. It went slowly, like he was uncertain about entering. The moment he caught sight of her, his eyes never left. Those sweet, sky-colored ones she missed deeply…her frame relaxed seeing them. He stared at her for a minute without a word. He observed her from head-to-toe. She did the same with him.
His mask covered a good portion of his face, but she caught sight of the bags under his eyes. The tired posture he had compared to his usual, upright one - always so attentive and responsive. Now he appeared sluggish. Had he not been sleeping well? She could admit the same thing, knowing how much she's struggled these past nights…
For Kane, he noticed many things. Her eyes were bloodshot, skin moistened from tears, and lips chapped. She looked thinner than usual, which was saying something because she was always considerably skinny. It pained him to see Queen like this, knowing she hadn't been properly eating or taking care of herself.
But he could worry about these troubles later. For now, her presence was what mattered to him.
He stepped forward and cupped her face in his hand. A gloved thumb wiped away the tears from the edges of her eyes. The anger was nonexistent when he looked at her. Instead, he was filled with happiness. Relief. "Mi sei mancato."
She placed her hand over his. "I missed you, too.."
He moved his face closer. She brought their lips together. The kiss expressed their longing - to compensate for all the time spent away. He thought he needed to calm down, but it was undeniably draining. With her, he felt at peace. He was where he truly belonged - by the side of his Queen. Like the arrangement of the pieces in chess. It felt right this way.
When they pulled away, she squeezed her eyes shut. A sharp cry left her lips. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. You're not selfish. You never were. I-"
"Hush." He pulled her into a tight embrace. Her face was pressed deeply into his coat and she inhaled his scent. Her body shivered. She missed him. Badly. "You're forgiven. I…am sorry as well. For leaving you like that."
She wrapped her arms around him. She felt his strong build under her fingertips - a personal indulgence. "I was starting to think you'd never come back."
He shook his head. "Not even a possibility. " He rested his chin on her shoulder. "...You might have me wrapped around your finger."
She smiled. "Is that why you're here?"
He went quiet. She was about to move before he picked her up from the ground. In one quick movement, he sat her on the bed. She noticed the sentimental look on his face. He took a deep breath as he reached for her hand, clutching it tightly in his grip. His thumb stroked hers while he spoke.
"I…can't help feeling a little frustrated. But I've missed you more than anything. It hurts to be away. To ignore you like I have - it took the life out of me. I wanted to say I'm sorry."
He remembered what Phule told him. He picked his head up to look her earnestly in the eyes. "-I will try to be more open with you. I realized that was the problem. You wanted to know about my father. I wasn't ready to tell you. Eventually, I may have. But not now."
She frowned and lowered her head. He could tell she was disappointed. He raised her gaze back to him with a gloved finger on her chin. "But if there's anything else you'd like to know about me, you can ask. I will be truthful."
There was plenty she wanted to know about him. It felt like he was purposely hiding parts of his past and not answering all her questions. It took hearing from Gazpaccio to realize how little Queen actually knew of Kane. But she wanted to. Ever since her cadet days, she's been nothing but curious. And now that she has the opportunity to learn, she wants to know everything possible.
"I want to know if you're hiding anything." She confessed. "If there's something else you're not being honest about..."
He paused. There was a lot he had to hide from her. But one point came to mind specifically. He winced as he placed his hands on his knees. "-There is something important you should know."
She looked at him curiously.
"The studies I conducted on my cadets…There was another reason for them. I had to be confident in my future soldiers because there is a war coming to Valencia."
Her jaw dropped. "A war?"
He nodded. "Rooke's punishment is why I observed you particularly. The real purpose I went out of my way for these 'trainees' was to see if they were good enough. If my army stood a chance of victory. The earliest stages are the best to observe, if I'm going to know the result."
She seemed to have trouble processing this information. "But…why did you pull me aside to ask why I joined? Wouldn't that be…irrelevant?"
"*That* was a personal project. I didn't lie about it. I was bored and needed something to do while I was there. I'm glad that I did. I wouldn't have gotten to know you otherwise."
Butterflies grew in her stomach. They were easily crushed by her anxiety. "So you're saying…I was going to be put in a war? That I dodged a *literal bullet* by getting your attention..?"
He motioned vaguely with his hand. "That…is a way to look at it. No one else knows except my elite, the King and Queen, and…now, you. It's something we decided to be quiet about, so Valencia wouldn't panic."
She chewed her lip. He had a good reason to keep this a secret, even though it involved her. The uneasiness made her lightheaded. She was going to train her life away without ever knowing it. To be thrown into battle - possibly losing her life sooner. She managed to end up here instead. It made her a little sick the longer she dwelled on it. So she changed subjects.
Another matter came to mind. She was almost shy with this topic. Phule's words haunted her for a long time in this room. She was afraid of the answer. If it was going to be what she dreaded to hear…she wouldn't know what to do. Kane's patient silence urged her to bring it up timidly:
"Why…have you been doing all of this?" At his confused look, she elaborated. "Everything you've done for me. Buying these dresses, teaching me how to speak and giving all this training…were you trying to change me?" Her eyes lowered. "-Were you not happy with me when we met?"
Kane is so surprised by this question that he stares at her, waiting for Queen to take it back. But she doesn't. She looks at him with moistened eyes, waiting for his answer. Realizing she's serious, he moved forward and placed a hand on the side of her face. She still looked disheartened.
"Valerie, when I met you, I thought you were perfect. You were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, in the outfit of my cadets. You appeared so strong and confident…and I loved that about you. I…" He was quiet until the words left his lips. "-Ti amo."
She blinked several times. The tears left her eyes. He wiped them away from her cheek. She waited so long to hear this from him…The uncertainty left her mind after hearing how sincere his words were. They were the strongest she knew.
"I love you, too…"
A look of affection crossed his face. He wasted no time locking their lips together. It was passionate - he moved her into his lap so he could hold her close. She craved this for so long. Not only his company, but…to hear that he loved her. She always loved him. She fell for Kane the second she met him. After a minute, he broke their kiss and brushed the strands of hair out of her way.
"You must understand - I am an important man in the highest role of the military. If I am involved with someone, they need to be capable. Strong. Smart. I was training you because I knew you had the potential."
She's speechless at his confession. It made Phule's words sound ridiculous. He was doubtful because he didn't know the whole story. No one saw them when she was back in that apartment in Florenza - playing chess games with Kane to pass the time with, and watching the stars from her balcony. Every time he walked with her from the swimming lessons, talking about pirates and the arts, growing familiar like they weren't two strangers who came from an army post together.
He reflected deeply on something before moving her aside and slowly lowering himself to the floor. She was amazed to find himself on one knee, grabbing something from his pocket and presenting it to her. It was done in a fluid motion - he opened the box and revealed a breathtaking ring to her. She marveled at the diamonds before looking back at him - finding a meaningful expression on his face.
"Valerie Toscani, my Queen, will you marry me? And become my second-in-command..?"
Her jaw was open and she shut in embarrassment. She tried to look at his face instead of gaping at the ring. "..Are you sure I'm ready for something like that?"
"You're more than ready. I need you by my side if I am going to pull through. You're more than qualified for the position."
"-But as your wife?"
"Of course."
She decided to stop asking questions and lunged herself - nearly knocking him onto the floor from the force. He brought them to their feet, overwhelmed with the amount of kisses she laid on his face. She couldn't help the exhilaration. Everything she wanted was happening so fast, after she'd spent so much time being alone. Now she was filled with elation and a desire to be taken, right then and there.
He reached for her hand. He took her glove off with ease and slipped the ring onto the appropriate finger - admiring how natural it looked on her skin. It reflected light in a hypnotizing way. She smothered him with more pecks to his cheek. She was pulling him to their bed, wrapping her legs around his hips and tugging at his collar. He noticed what was happening and gave a chuckle, unwrapping them.
"Before we go any further-" He sat her back, ignoring her disappointed whine. "-I'm putting all my trust into you, and I want you to trust me. You have to tell me if there's anything more you need to know."
She huffed as she fixed her shirt. He was being considerate with their conversation. She got excited, but…they were far from done with talking. She'll have all the time in the world to ask him questions now, but…she could get one curiosity out of the way.
"Just one more." She announced, trailing her fingers along his shoulder. "You don't ever talk about it, but…what were your experiences in the war? I could never find anything from your biographies. Why are you so quiet about it?"
He looked at her, the silence feeling tense. Speaking about that time in his life made him feel vulnerable. But if she was going to be his wife…she should know. She could be one of the few, if not the only person, to know about this. He reached for her hand, admiring the engagement ring as he spoke:
"I nearly got killed - that's why I don't speak of it." Her look turned concerned. "I was fighting an enemy and got pinned to the ground. He got the upper-hand and choked me, trying to slit my throat. I threw him off just in time. His blade barely missed my jugular vein. I made sure to do away with him. It was the only time anyone ever got that close to killing me...I made sure of it, after that."
She hugged his side. "That's awful."
"I didn't think too deeply of it at the time. It was more important that I survived. When I came home, it was having…an effect on me. I couldn't sleep. It was like I couldn't breathe. I felt his hand, the blade pressing against my skin…I had flashbacks for years. The worst part were my reactions."
"Oh?"
"My neck became sensitive. I reacted harshly if something or…anyone touched it. It was a problem when people approached me from behind - if their hand was too close, I would, well..."
He laughed, much to her surprise.
"I once wiped King Casimir off his feet when he was trying to surprise me. He tapped the back of my neck and I threw him on the floor. He had the wind knocked out of him pretty badly."
She imagined it before her eyes. She'd seen him react in an instant, and with his strength…it wasn't far-fetched. "Was he angry with you?"
"A little. I avoided this problem by covering my neck. That's why I wear my ascot and this collar. It's not an issue anymore; I didn't want people asking about it..."
"I was wondering why you wouldn't let me touch it for long…you know, when we–"
"-Yes, and I apologize…It was nothing personal."
Her eyes didn't move. She hovered a hand. "Do you think I could..?"
She motioned vaguely. He got the message and untied the ascot before taking off his coat. His bare neck was exposed to her, a somewhat of an odd sight since the area was usually covered, but…a welcome one to her as well.
She dragged her fingers lightly along the surface of his skin. He flinched at first before easing into the contact. Her heart fluttered when he closed his eyes. It meant a lot that he'd allow her to do this. Her previous touches were brief and always motioned away. But he showed no protest. She moved forward and left a kiss on it. He reacted by pulling her in closer. She enjoyed this silent exchange of trust and left a few more, listening to the sounds he made.
He discarded his gloves and brought his hands to her throat, moving his palms along her soft skin. He travelled downward and came into contact with her pearl necklace. He stopped in his movements to observe it, noticing how well-kept it was. She must've been taking good care of her jewelry. He hummed in thought as he fingered at one.
"You wear this all the time."
She paused in what she was doing to look at what he was talking about. She noticed his hold on her necklace and shrugged, batting her eyes away. "I want it to be a close memory of my father. You know. Remember my goal with the pirates and all."
He removed his hand and she looked at him curiously. Something changed in his expression. "You know what I think? You're sacrificing so much of your life to get revenge for him instead of just *remembering* your father."
She narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You understand better now, but…I knew a man who was fueled by vengeance for most of his life. Someone who was close to me as well." His knowing look made her shrink down. "My father was dedicated to getting revenge on the family that cheated him. I saw where it led him. He became selfish - blinded by his goals instead of paying attention to his family, or enjoying his life. I would hate to see the same thing happen to you."
"But I wouldn't..! I'd-"
Queen paused, her brown eyes widening in realization. When she first had her goal of vengeance, back in her home in Tuscany, she wanted to join Valencia's Armada. It was a huge decision that decided the rest of her life. Her friends and family reacted… negatively. She didn't understand then, thinking they refused to support her, but they were only concerned. The second she was determined to get revenge…she had only one goal in her mind – to throw herself into the battlefield. She gave up the life she once had just to kill some pirates. The life she had with Emilia and her friends..
She was reminded of it when Kane put her in that first dress. When she looked at herself in the mirror, and got called 'beautiful' for the first time in years…
Her eyes watered. Se held her face in her hands. "I am so selfish…"
"You only loved your father. You don't have to die to prove yourself. Remember who he was and move on. You'll never stop grieving if you don't."
She embraced him again, holding onto his sides and drying her tears on his clothes. He kissed the top of her hair. She appreciated this talk, no matter how long and…over-the-place it was. Not only did she realize things about herself, but…of Kane, too, and what's to come for both of them. She looked at the ring on her finger and grinned. She squeezed him as hard as she could, expressing her gratitude for this entire thing. For making her life better than it ever could be…
"I'll do my best to work with you." She muttered into his shoulder. "I wanted to be your best soldier, but…now I want to be your best second-in-command."
He laughed. "My only second-in-command."
"..Better than Deacon, then?"
He kissed her lips again, looking into her eyes as he pulled away. "I'm proud of you. I hope you know that."
She does. She pins him to the bed, momentarily gaining an advantage as she kissed her fiancé from above. He was delighted and held the sides of her hips, returning the affection and pulling her downwards. It wasn't long before they were celebrating their engagement within the sheets of their bedroom.
