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Hufflepuff Auction Prompt: Day 27, Auction 3: "What's wrong with me?" / "You're an annoying, whining man-child." / "That question wasn't directed to you!" / "What question?"
Assignment 5: Charms, Task 2: Write a fic with the genre Humour.
Word Count: 468
Slow Acting Charms
Something was wrong, but Sirius couldn't work out what it was. He felt terrible, but most of that was undoubtedly the after effect of the drinking he'd partaken in the night before.
It had been his birthday, so he figured it was allowed.
But still. Something just felt… off.
"What's wrong with me?" Sirius asked, frowning deeply.
"You're an annoying, whining man-child," Severus replied, never looking up from the book he was reading.
"That question wasn't directed at you!" Sirius replied, immediately incensed. Really, his godson had no taste in romantic partners, it was ridiculous.
"What question?" Severus asked, and Sirius threw a teaspoon at him, because there was something wrong with him dammit and he didn't need Snape being an asshole.
"No, really though," Sirius said, looking at Remus. "There's something wrong with me. I can feel it."
"You mean aside from the fact that you're seriously hungover?" Remus asked, arching his eyebrow.
Sirius nodded. "Yes. Aside from that. I know what a hangover feels like, Moony, this isn't just a hangover."
Remus wrinkled his nose. "Could be that you turned fifty yesterday? According to Harry, that makes you officially old."
"I'm not old!" Sirius said, banging his hand on the table.
"Actually you kinda are," Harry said, wandering into the kitchen. Sirius averted his eyes when he leant over slightly to kiss Snape good morning. "Lookit," Harry added, pointing at Sirius. "I can see three grey hairs from here."
Sirius let out a wounded noise and got up from the table as fast as his hangover would allow, making his way to the mirror in the hallway.
He couldn't see any grey hairs!
He returned to the kitchen to tell Harry as much, only to find his godson laughing, and Remus shaking his head with an amused look on his face.
"You really shouldn't tease him when he's hungover," Remus tried to reprimand, but Harry just grinned gleefully.
"But seriously," Sirius demanded, sinking back down onto the chair. "What's wrong with me?"
"Would you like a list?" Snape offered, drawing another scowl from Sirius.
"George was here last night," Harry pointed out, as he poured coffee for himself and a refill for Snape. "Have you eaten—"
And Sirius turned into a canary.
Remus sighed. Snape snorted.
Harry just shook his head. "Yeah, so, George has been working on slow acting charms for the Animal Transformation collection."
Remus chuckled. "Guess you can tell him it worked.
Sirius the Canary made a mournful noise. How was he supposed to have his coffee now?
"Say, Remus?" Harry asked and the mischief in his tone was unmistakable.
"Don't say it Harry."
"Is that a hint of grey I see on the wings?"
The squawk of displeasure made them all crack up and Sirius sulked on the chair.
He hated his people.
