Chapter 61
The roaring sound of a lawn mower broke through his slumber the next morning, taking Hugo a few years back in time. He could never get his moody-teenager-sleep-in time because all the Muggles in the street would all set aside time on weekends to tend to their gardens. Still half asleep, the redhead groaned as he pulled the sides of his pillow up to try and provide a barrier for his ears from the noise. After a moment, his eyes suddenly snapped open as he recalled the lack of lawn to cut around his apartment. Hugo quickly recognised his old room and calmed a little, but still tried to recall why he was there. Sitting up solved that problem, as the headache he felt reminded him of the previous night's events. Another groan escaped, this time slightly muffled as he dragged his hands over his face.
Hugo knew that he had probably scared his parents last night, showing up in the state that he was in, and he was not keen on having to talk to them about it. However, he knew there was no escaping it. If one thought avoiding his sister when she wanted to discuss something with him was hard, avoiding his mother was next to impossible. When it came to trying to help him talk about feelings and things, his mother was the master and his sister the very-skilled-nearly-fully-trained apprentice. Slowly, he stood up, feeling more aches and pain over his body. Deciding to freshen up a bit before heading down stairs where he knew they would be waiting for him, he made his way to the bathroom. He threw some water on his face, washing away his grogginess. As he stared back at his reflection he noticed the faint scar on the left side of his forehead, tight to his hair line. You couldn't really notice it because it was overshadowed by his hair, but he could feel the rough groove that the Dittany had left behind. Hugo brushed his teeth with a spare toothbrush he found in the drawer and then made his way downstairs.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs he saw his Father sitting on the couch in the lounge, watching Muggle TV.
"Morning," Ron said without taking his eyes off the TV, clearly demonstrating that just because you leave the Auror profession doesn't mean you lose the eyes-at-the-back-off-your-head skills.
"Morning," Hugo mumbled, as he walked around to sit on the opposite end of the couch. They sat there in silence for a while, both watching what seemed to be an old episode of Faulty Towers. Every now and then father and son would both chuckle to themselves at the events that unfolded on the screen. Hugo scanned for any sight of his mother, only to be surprised that she was nowhere in sight.
"She got called into the office," Ron spoke up noticing Hugo's confusion. "It was urgent, otherwise she would be here."
"Shouldn't you also be at work?" Hugo asked.
"George can hold the fort for a while," Ron answered, taking a sip of the cup of tea Hugo just noticed he held in his hand. "We both took the day off, but you know it's like they can't do anything without her," Ron added with a chuckle. Hugo noticed the proud, loving twinkle in his father's eye as he spoke about his mother. After all these years it was still so clear how much they loved each other. Deep down he knew he wanted that someday; he wanted to share a lifetime with someone. "But it wouldn't surprise me if she had intentionally set it up that way," Ron joked, as he turned the TV off. "So, unless you would like to wait for her, you'll just have to settle for explaining what happened to your old man," he said, turning to face his son, giving him his full attention.
Hugo sighed before saying, "it's a long story."
"I've got time," Ron shrugged.
St Mungo's
Astoria sat in one of the seats lining the white walls of the hallway. Her eyes focus solely on the door across from her, her legs shaking slightly, the left bouncing up and down nervously. This is how Scorpius found his mother. A couple of hours ago he had Flooed to the Potters and informed her that her husband was in St Mungo's. He remembered seeing all the colour drain from her face frighteningly fast. It took him another hour to finally get her to the hospital, and now she had been sitting there, staring at the door that stood between her and her husband, for about another hour. He had taken a walk in the hopes that maybe without him there watching, she would've gone in herself. Unfortunately, this did not seem to be the case.
"Mum," he addressed her as he sat down in the seat next to her. "What are you thinking? Tell me what's on your mind."
"I'm wondering how I let it get to this point. How I have let us, our family, get so far off track," she responded as she looked down at her hands that lay in her lap and her leg stopped bouncing. He wanted to jump in and say it wasn't her fault, that she shouldn't hold it all on her shoulders, but she continued. "I just keep thinking about all those years when we were happy together, all three of us," she turned her head and smiled at him, her eyes glassy with tears. "It was so long ago you probably don't even remember," she said with a light chuckle, "but we were happy."
"No, I remember," Scorpius replied, wrapping his arm around her and returning her smile with one of his own. However, she held the expression only briefly before it slid off her face and her brows knitted together.
"And then I let it slip through my fingers," she turned her gaze back down to her hands as the tears broke their banks and glided down her cheeks. Scorpius pulled her into him and held her tight. He rubbed her back comfortingly as she continued, mumbling slightly into his shoulder. "Now, I have missed far too many of the important moments in my son's life, my husband almost killed himself yesterday and I have to be strong and pick up the pieces."
"Shhh, it's going to be okay," Scorpius whispered to her.
"I don't know if I can be strong," she mumbled back. "My heart hurts so much and I am terrified that I can't do it."
"You are strong and you can do this," Scorpius pulled back to look into his mother's eyes. "However, you're not going to be in this alone. I will be strong with you and so will Dad," he saw the shock in her eyes at hearing him refer to his father as Dad, and then he saw that little bit of hope in there as well. "We can fix us and be happy again if we do it all together."
Weasley House
Hugo was surprised by the way that Ron sat there and listened intently as he explained; only asking questions if he needed clarification and then letting Hugo continue. He told him about everything that had happened and didn't happen between him and Ella, from Hogwarts to the night before. He had never really talked to his father about girls much; he always had a cousin or a friend that he would talk to first, so this was a big deal and strangely Hugo found himself glad that it was just his father there. Something told him that talking to his mother about this just wouldn't feel the same.
"So, just as I turned off the lights for the pitch, I heard a security guard yell at me. So I bolted, thought I could out run him," Hugo was finally up to the part of the story about last night and how he ended up on his father's doorstep in the state that he had been in. "But then I realised that all he had to do was send a jinx or a Stupefy my way and I would be toast. I mean if I had been caught I would've had to kiss my Quidditch contract goodbye, so I Disapparated. I was aiming for behind the Big tree in the Park, but I missed. Instead, I found myself falling over something and hitting my head on the edge of that metal spin-around thing," he lifted his hand to feel the rough skin of his scar. "Anyway, it was a pretty hard hit and I guess the whiskey I had had earlier didn't help but I was very dizzy. I threw up, mostly just the whiskey and that's when someone found me. I just kept repeating our address so I guess that's how I ended up here," Hugo finished. They both sat there for a while in silence just letting everything sink in.
"Wow, that's quite a story, Son," Ron eventually commented. "Listen, I am glad that you came here last night. I want you to know you can always come here, to your mother and me, for help. Even if I am not exactly proud of how you ended up here, like turning to alcohol in that situation and then drinking and flying, we will always look after you."
"I know Dad," Hugo replied.
"Good," Ron nodded in affirmation. "Now that that is sorted, what I wanted to know is why I haven't heard about your feelings towards Ella before now?"
"Well, I just didn't really feel like sharing it I guess," Hugo replied, rubbing the back of his neck.
"But you told Malfoy," Ron argued and Hugo wondered briefly, but didn't dwell on, why he used Scorpius' last name.
"Yeah, but Scorpius was a friend, who's a little older and wasn't bad with the ladies," Hugo tried to explain.
"Yeah, but I'm your father."
"Exactly," Hugo said. "C'mon Dad, did you tell Gramps all the details about who you fancied in school?"
"Well…no, but it was pretty obvious, everyone knew about my feelings before I did," Ron answered.
"Yeah, well I thought my feelings were obvious too, but I tend to get over looked sometimes," Hugo muttered.
"Son, I am so sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I certainly tried my best not to. I know what that feeling is like, but the thing is, most of the time, it was all in my head. It was just me giving myself stupid, untrue reasons to not try or not say or do something I wanted to. Truth is, as cliché as it sounds, you can do whatever or be whoever you want to as long as you put your mind to it. And look at you, 19 years old and one of the top-ranked keepers in the league. You have achieved something great by doing what you wanted to do, and I am so proud of you."
"Thanks Dad," Hugo said as he directed a rather shy smile his father's way. "And for the record you're alright too," he teased with a laugh.
"That's good to know," Ron replied through his own chuckle. "Now, about Ella," he spoke up again after a moment. "I'm going to be straight with you, okay?" Hugo just nodded in confirmation. "It's unfair for you to hold the choices she made in the past against her when you yourself didn't really act like a saint."
"But-"
"No but's," Ron cut cross him. "You didn't give the girl any explanation or reason; you just suddenly cut her from your life. That wasn't what I would call a bloody brilliant way of dealing with things." Hugo just sighed heavily.
"Alright, so what do I do?"
"You start anew and leave the past in the past."
"I can't just pretend like nothing has happened and go be her friend again," Hugo disputed.
"I am not saying that you forget everything, I'm just saying that at least for now you leave it in the past and you accept her." Hugo looked over at his father with a strained and unsure expression on his face. "Son, you don't have to be her best friend, you don't have to seek her out, I'm just saying don't shut her out. She is your cousin's roommate and best friend, she is going to be around more and you need to accept that."
"Okay, I'll try," Hugo practically groaned.
"Good on ya, son," Ron exclaimed clapping Hugo on the back, before turning to face the TV and flicking it on. "And when your mother asks please feel free to tell her how good your old man is at giving advice," Ron added with a cheeky smile spread across his face.
"Yeah sure, Dad," Hugo replied, shaking his head as he stood up from the couch amused.
"Hey, where are you going? You don't want to stay and have a game of chess?" Ron piped up as soon as he realised Hugo was heading for the fireplace.
"I'm sorry Dad, I have a practice in about an hour," Hugo replied apologetically.
"Okay, maybe another time," Ron said.
"Yeah, definitely," Hugo assured before turning back to the Floo.
"Hugo, one more thing," Ron suddenly spoke up again.
"What is it?"
"Sort things out with Scorpius too, I don't need to tell you how important his friendship is to you," Ron suggested.
"I know Dad, it's like you read my mind," he smiled. "Thanks again and I'll see you around," Hugo added, before he disappeared in a blaze of green flames.
Le Coin Rose
Rose hadn't been able to stop smiling all morning. Not even on her run before work could she wipe the smile off her face as she remembered the soft caress of his lips. She was giddy, just basking in joy about the fact that she kissed Scorpius Malfoy. She was pretty sure that both Daisy and Nate knew something had happened, but they had yet to pester here about it, to which she was thankful for. She didn't want to jump the gun; she didn't want to think let alone talk about what it all meant without really talking to Scorpius first. The most important thing was earlier that morning she had owled Dominique explaining why Scorpius and she weren't present the night before. She apologised as well, keeping it short, but saying she could explain more later.
Her happy mood didn't deteriorate when lunch came around and she hadn't heard from Scorpius. She understood that he may need a day or two to get things sorted or at least on the way to getting better between his parents. She continued smiling, enjoying whatever the day decided to throw at her. One thing happened to be her mother.
"Hi Mum, what are you doing here?" She asked cheerfully when she spotted her mother walk through the door.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing, and what happened after I left you yesterday?" she replied.
"Oh, I'm good, but maybe we should take this conversation back to my office," Rose said, as she lead her mother back behind the counter on her way to the office.
"Hi Mrs Weasley," Daisy called when Rose ducked in the let her know what she was doing and to send someone out to help out the front.
"Hello Daisy, good to see you again," Hermione called out before following Rose who had already left and was in her office.
"So, what happened? Did you find Scorpius? Was he okay?" Hermione asked fretfully, closing the door behind her.
"I found Scorpius at the Manor, he wasn't in good shape but I calmed him down and eventually got him back to St Mungo's to see his Dad," Rose explained, keeping things short.
"And how was Draco?" Hermione asked, clearly not as concerned as she had been for Scorpius.
"It turned out that he had been trying to remove the Dark mark from his arm by cutting it off."
"What?" Hermione exclaimed shocked.
"I know. I was shocked too, but obviously he had been drinking beforehand and wasn't thinking."
"Oh my word," Hermione mumbled as she sat down on the small couch along the wall. "Poor Astoria, she's going to be so upset and she'll have to go back to looking after him."
"Poor Scorpius," Rose said as she joined her mother on the couch. "He's the one that's going to look after both of them.
"True," Hermione agreed, as they slipped into a silence, both combing through their thoughts. "Hey, that's not the only reason I came to speak to you today," Hermione broke the silence, drawing Rose's attention.
"Oh?"
"No, I was also wondering if you would know why your brother has been closed off recently."
"What makes you think he has been?" Rose asked, trying to see how much her mother actually knew.
"Well, I don't know. Maybe closed off is not really accurate, but he's just been different," Hermione replied. "Last night he worried your father and I," Hermione continued before Rose could say anything.
"What did he do?" Rose asked curious as to what she had missed while she had been hanging out with a handsome blonde.
"Well, I am not entirely sure, but he ended up on our door step half-conscious with blood running down his face."
"What?" It was Rose's turning to be shocked and worried.
"I know, I got quite a fright from seeing him like that, but once I took a closer look and cleaned him up, he was fine. It was just a cut, really."
"Holy Merlin," Rose sighed. "Did he tell you how that happened?"
"No, he was out like your father on a Sunday morning," Hermione giggled. "Snoring and all."
"Typical," Rose rolled her eyes.
"He's at home with your father at the moment, so hopefully I will find out when I get home. I just wanted to see if you knew of anything that would help explain that?"
"No, Mum, I'm sorry I can't be more help," Rose replied.
"Not to worry, dear," Hermione smiled at her daughter.
St Mungo's
Astoria entered the room with a determined expression across her features. She didn't want Draco thinking that everything would be fine between them, that she was just going to take care of him and pretend that she could live like they were before. She wanted to give him a piece of her mind about what he had done. She didn't understand how he could be so stupid. However, when she crashed through the door, temper raging, it all faded away as soon as she laid eyes on his sleeping form. The slow rise and fall of his chest calmed her as she edged closer to his bed. Astoria gently perched herself beside him on the edge of the bed and just stared at her husband. She noticed the darkness under his closed eyes first, a sure sign of his restlessness. Then, her eyes took in the wrinkles by his eyes and on his forehead, the roughness of his jaw; all a reminder of all the years they have shared together. Age had been kinder to Astoria, but as she gazed down at the man before her, she could still see the smooth, delicate yet strong man she fell in love with all those years ago.
Hesitantly, she reached out and softly caressed his cheek. He let out a low groan, the same one he always used to make when she would disturb his slumber. The familiarity of the sound made her heart swell and she bit her lip trying to hold back a smile. When that didn't work she leaned over and pressed a soft lingering kiss against his forehead. Astoria sat back and watched as he inhaled quickly before his eye lids started to flutter open. Once his eyes adjusted and focused, they immediately landed on her. Together they sat silent and still, gazes locked on each other. Draco moved first, shifting slightly to sit up.
"I didn't think you would come," Draco spoke first. "Wasn't sure if you would want anything to do with me," he added after more silence from his wife. Astoria sighed, unsure of what to say, and she diverted her gaze away from him. "Do you?" She didn't answer him. "I guess not, since who needs a Malfoy when you have the support of the Potters," he spat, his bitterness returning at her lack of conversation.
"Oh, would you grow up," Astoria said. "They have nothing to do with what's going on here and you know it. This is about you, you stupid arse!" she stood up, turning her back on him, taking a few steps away as she collected her thoughts. Astoria turned and rounded on him again when she continued. "You are here now, in a hospital, a miserable old man, living by yourself for the first time because you couldn't let go of your petty jealousy and your own past mistakes."
"You don't know what you're taking about," Draco argued.
"Don't I? I have only lived with you for 23 years, had to listen to you go on and on about it, bitterly, for at least 12 years," Astoria defended. "So don't you DARE tell me I don't know what I am talking about when it's concerning you. I know everything!" she said it with fierceness and fire, but she couldn't stop the tears that had welled up in her eyes.
"If I am so horrible then why stay? Why stay all those TERRIBLE years? And WHY BOTHER TO BE HERE NOW?" he practically accused, raising his scratchy voice, dramatically knocking over a cup of water and the table that it sat on beside the bed. Astoria stood wordlessly at the end of the small bed, tears silently sliding down her cheeks and clouding her vision. Only the sound of Draco's deep breaths as he came down from his temper could be heard in the room for what was a little more than a minute but probably felt like hours. While Draco's temper sank his regret rose as he stared at his wife. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him, but the tears continued to stain her cheeks.
"After everything…all the years…," she muttered, her eyes still closed. "How can even ask me that?" she questioned, after gaining a little more composure and opening her eyes to stare down at him. Draco stayed silent, knowing exactly what she meant by that. However, a part of him wanted to hear her say it again.
"Why?" he practically pleaded.
"Why do you think?"
"Please," he begged, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Because I…," Astoria stuttered after a minute and sighed before walking over to the side of his bed and continuing. "Because I love you." The corners of Draco's lips lifted slightly, showing his happiness at hearing those words from her. He reached out and claimed her hand that rested by her side, speaking volumes with a small squeeze and caress by his thumb.
"I missed you," he whispered, before lifting her hand to his lips. "And I am so sorry."
Potter House, Lily's Room
"Okay, you can stop worrying now," Lily announced as she entered her room, addressing the blonde that lay on the window seat reading the paper.
"I can?" Ella asked, trying to catch up and figure out what her friend was talking about.
"Yes, I spoke to Rose and she confirmed for me that Hugo is safe and well," Lily replied, perching herself on her bed. Ella sat straight up at the mention of Hugo.
"Oh, thank Merlin," she breathed a sigh of relief. "So where did he end up going? Because we know he never came back to the apartment," she asked.
"Apparently, he went to the practice pitch for a workout and then stay at his parents place for the night," Lily answered, ignoring the part about how they knew he didn't come back because Ella had insisted they stay after everyone else left, well into the night, in the hope that he would return and they could make sure he was okay.
"He always did deal with his problems best on the Quidditch pitch," Ella said as if only speaking to herself. "I guess that is all I am to him now, a problem," she added, looking up at her friend's sympathetic face.
"Look, maybe he just needs some time, but I know that you are more than just a problem to him," the red head said.
"His behaviour says otherwise," Ella scoffed disbelievingly. "I just wish I knew why this all started, you know," she continued after a moment. "At least than I would be able to find a better way to fix things…or at least, it would then be easier to accept and deal with." Lily just sat there quietly, not sure what to say to comfort her friend. "You were right, you know, I shouldn't have even tried to talk to him last night. All it did was make me feel worst."
"No, I was wrong. You need him and I know he needs you," Lily encouraged, backtracking on her reservations about Hugo from two days previous. "So give him some time and everything will work out, I am sure of it."
"How do you know?"
"I just do, okay?" Lily replied. "Now, find any good apartments for us?" she changed the topic quickly, gesturing to the paper Ella was reading.
"There are a few in our price range and look nice," Ella answered.
"Okay, well maybe tomorrow we can check them out."
The Lobby of Hugo's Apartment Building
After Rose had closed up, the first thing she did was Disapparate to Hugo's building. Her conversation with her mother earlier in the day had reminded her of a discussion she needed to have with her brother. Rose pressed the buzzer button for his apartment and his voice followed through the intercom a second later.
"Hello. Who is it?"
"Usually, you just sense who it is and buzz me straight up. Must be losing your magic, brother," she teased. Instead of answering he buzzed her up. Hugo met her at the door, letting her in to his home.
"So, what brings you here, Rose?" said Hugo as made his way in to the lounge, taking a seat on the couch, while Rose took her spot in the adjacent arm chair.
"Mum stopped by today. She said you stayed over at their place last night," she stated. "I was just wondering why?"
"Is it a crime now to sleep over at your parents place for a night?"
"Not a crime, but it is certainly odd considering you live in this pad," Rose replied. Hugo just sighed and dropped his head. "Look, I spoke to Lily and I know about part of what happened here last night, so you might as well just come out with the rest of it," she went on.
"She said she misses me," Hugo admitted. "She said all this really nice stuff about all the different things she missed about her friend, Hugo Weasley, and I freaked out a bit."
"Ya think," Rose giggled and Hugo sent a glare at her. "I am just saying that it sounds like the girl put her heart on the line for you and you didn't do anything about it."
"What was I supposed to do, Rose? Just forgive and forget, slide right back into being her friend like nothing has changed?" Hugo argued, standing up as he raised his voice slightly. "I was really in love with her back then," he continued, sounding slightly more defeated, looking down. "I'm not sure if I still feel exactly that way about her anymore, but back then I thought I was more than just a friend to her and it turned out I was less."
"How can you even say that after what she told you last night? You definitely mean more to her than you think," Rose tried to reason with him.
"Do I?" Hugo spat back, his anger about the situation returning. "Because me not being a part of her life never bothered her before. Suddenly now, after years of not talking to each other, she misses me?"
"That's not how Lily describes it," Rose informed him, as she got to her feet also. Hugo just scoffed in reply, faking indifference. "She said the Ella went through so many emotions that she was two steps short of insane," she continued, noticing how she had sparked her brother's interest, even though he looked away from her; she saw the twitch in his jaw. "She said that Ella was confused, angry, depressed and went through stages of when she was unsure of herself in everything she did. Lily said that she had cried herself to sleep on most nights because she had tried to talk to you and you had ignored her, treated the poor girl like she never existed." Feeling guilty about what he had done, Hugo exhaled loudly and resumed his spot on the couch. Rose watched her brother as he hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees and tried to rub the stress and guilt away from his face. She moved to sit next to him on the couch and raised a hand, rubbing comforting circles into his back. "The girl never knew why one of her best friends had unexpectedly stopped acknowledging her existence. Nobody deserves that, Hugo," Rose said quietly.
"I know," Hugo muttered. Over the years, he had avoided thinking about Ella's side of things, about how she must have felt. Now, that he had let himself do that, he felt disgusted by himself. He said that he had loved her and then he had done that to her, put her through so much pain. 'If that's the kind of person I am, I'd never deserve her anyway,' he thought.
"So, what do I do?" he asked after a minute.
"Well-"
"I can't just forget my feelings either," he interrupted, thinking out loud. "I was hurt too, that's why I was such a dick. I can't undo that and pretend that nothing has changed."
"I am not saying you have to. You don't even have to be her friend, not yet anyway," Rose answered. "You just have to stop being a dick and be able to have a conversation with her; be civil. You can start from the beginning and be acquaintances."
"That basically what Dad said," Hugo said.
"Yeah, well Dad is right for once," Rose joked, causing her brother to give a light chuckle.
"Scorpius said that too," Hugo thought out loud.
"Said what?" Rose asked, trying to ignore how her heart rate increased just at the mention of his name.
"To stop being a dick," Hugo said through a laugh. "I guess I should have listened to everyone else a lot sooner."
"Yeah, you should have," Rose agreed. "But is it bad that I am more than even slightly happy that I am the one who finally made you see that?"
"If that's what really makes you happy, Sis, than who am I to say so," Hugo laughed, bumped his shoulder into hers lightly knocking her to the side. "And don't worry about Scorpius, I am going to apologise and sort things out. I know you were going to ask about that next," Hugo added after a moment.
"Good," Rose said, turning her head to smile at him before returning it back to her fiddling hands. "So, have you seen Scorpius today?" she inquired a little anxiously, even though she tried to sound casual.
"Ah no, but we haven't exactly been on speaking terms recently either so that's not really out of the ordinary. If he decides to sleep here tonight, he should be home soon," Hugo answered, confirming Rose's thoughts that Scorpius hadn't been sleeping at Hugo's from last night, when she noticed the blankets in his truck. She simply nodded in reply.
"Why?" Hugo asked after a moment of silence between the siblings.
"No reason," Rose answered, not looking back up at her brother. "Anyway, I had better go," she added standing up and making her way to the door, "but I am glad we sorted that out."
"Yeah sure," Hugo said as he followed her. "Hey, Sis?" he called when she reached the door.
"Yes?" she answered, turning around to face him.
"Thanks," he spoke sincerely with a sweet smile. Rose beamed back at him.
"You're most welcome," she replied as she reached out and tousled his hair affectionately, giggling a little as Hugo knocked her hand away before turning and exiting the apartment.
"Why does she always have to do that?" Hugo muttered to himself, closing the door and trying to move his hair back to something that resembles normal for him. He shook his head, with another grin slipping on to his face as he thought, 'because she's your sister'.
Sorry again about the long wait, but at least this is a bit longer. I do loved all the reviews I have received , they really encourage me to right better. It is so great getting feedback, even better if it is positive. So please continue to let me know your thoughts. As of next week I will be overseas to spend christmas with my family but it won't be a long trip, so hopefully you won't have to wait to long for the chapter.
So I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of you and your families a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
As a little present, I will let you know that the next chapter will skip a few weeks and will deal with most Rose and Scorpius. Scorpius will have some making up to do while they all get ready for Dom's wedding getaway :)
Don't forget to leave me a review :)
