Danse Macabre — Part IV — Memento Mori
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."
— William Shakespeare
Blood was gargling down her mouth.
Babbling, scorching, cleansing every shimmer of humanity she possessed starting from her tongue ending right down to her very core.
Caroline was drowning in a sea of blood only it wasn't enough. More, she needed more. And the more she had the more the darkness was calling.
Closer.
It was coming closer. She was smelling sulfur. Twilight was approaching. Purgatory was calling and she was burning. Only this time she embraced the ache, she took in the darkness. It didn't just shimmer under her skin, it didn't loom over her, it thrived inside her, and it became a beacon. She could feel the violent energy that took her over and it was calling for more.
She kept biting down, taking chunks of flesh with each bite not showing any mercy to the struggling human that now went limp underneath her and she moaned at the blissful feeling of the kill. The impulse to drain him dry was taking over and Caroline gave in completely to the whisper that taunted her. It was a murmur, a chant and it sang to her so softly urging her to give into to her basest instincts. It was like a spell and the susurration called her home. Back home where she belonged. Back in Purgatory. It was like a secret message buzzing in her mind making everything move around her slowly as if the world was dipped in thick syrupy liquid.
Blood. So much blood.
She smiled as she drank and the human heart was slowly fading and with it so were the last remnants of her humanity.
It would be so easy to let go. To turn it off. To give in completely.
She almost did.
She would have.
But two strong hands pulled her away from the body she was savaging and held her back despite her struggle.
She was feral, her jaw was snapping, her fangs were dripping blood.
All she felt, all she wanted was the heartbeat that was still calling to her. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. She had locked on her target. She wanted to rip that human apart. Why wasn't she? Why she couldn't? Why was she being held back?
She fought and kicked and scratched to get away from those hands that held her back but they were so strong. Stronger than her.
Voices, she heard voices. Voices that tried to pierce the haze of her bloodlust but she was so hungry. She desperately tried to get away. Her instincts almost told her to back down to the stronger predator that held her back but she couldn't be reasoned when all that she was was driven by that thumping sound of that weak human heartbeat. She had to have even the last drop from those veins.
She hissed and tried to get away and-
"Stop!"
She stopped.
Everything came to an abrupt halt.
Caroline blinked frozen.
Her brain refused to register what had happened.
Slowly the blackness evaporated and she took a sharp intake of breath as the world came crashing down at her.
She took in the sight in front of her and gasped in horror.
Klaus was holding her back. He had pulled her back from the waiter that was now bleeding on the ground. His face and throat were torn. Gruesome wounds were bleeding. His flesh was mangled and pieces of it were still stuck between her teeth.
Terror came surging inside her as did the reality of what she had done. She had snatched the guy away from upstairs and took him down at Klaus' underground crypts right beneath the Abattoir. She had attacked him. He had screamed and pled and she hadn't stopped.
"Oh, God," she whispered and blood leaked down her chin as a sob emerged from her throat that corded up.
Her face crumbled and she looked up at Kol that was staring her with a blank expression. It was Kol's voice that had broken through her madness. His authoritative tone that could not be denied. His voice pulled her back from the abyss but it wasn't his hands that held her back.
The embrace was warm and safe and the grip no longer harsh but protective.
"Caroline?"
Klaus' uncertain voice reached her ears. He was still holding her.
"No, no, no…" Caroline mumbled and started shaking.
She could not take her eyes away from the body on the ground. Kol's eyes were trained on her but her gaze was focused on the man that was lying unconscious right at Kol's feet. That person…the human being…she had torn apart.
The guy's face was a mass of blood. His clothes were shredded and stained with even more blood. So much blood. A lake had formed around him and had splattered everywhere. His chest was barely falling up and down and she felt the hunger returning and almost jumped from Klaus' hands to dive straight over to the man she had eaten.
Klaus still held her back and she started hyperventilating.
What was she doing? What had she done?
Tears blinded her vision and she looked at Kol desperately trying to find something to hold on. She felt encased in ice. She was becoming frozen in anguish, trying to find someone to tell her that it would all be okay. She wanted to run to him and ask him to help her but she couldn't. She looked down again and her heart starting beating faster and faster.
The ice was becoming fire and it burned her to ash.
"What have I done?"
Her voice echoed in her ears and she barely recognized it. She flinched when Kol shook the body in front of him with the edge of his shoe to see if he was still alive. She pleadingly stared at Kol that sighed before he crouched down and pressed his index and middle finger against what was left from the man's neck and gave her a nod. He was still breathing. She let out an incoherent sound just as Kol bit into his wrist and pressed it against the man's mouth forcing his blood into her victim's mouth.
Victim.
Her victim.
Caroline shook her head unable to look away.
Klaus quickly turned her in his arms and pressed her face against his chest not letting her look back. She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her.
"Shh."
His voice was soothing. His lips touched the crown of her head and her fingers clutched his shirt that was now in blood too. Blood that was coming from her. She was bathed in it. Human blood. It had splashed everywhere. Oh, God.
She felt her knees almost giving out and Klaus held her. His one hand still embraced her and the other held her head protectively, slowly caressing her hair. He was whispering to her that it would all be okay.
"Take her away," Kol told Klaus, "I'll clean the mess."
Caroline bit the inside of her cheek at the sloppy pained sounds the man was making as Kol was feeding him his blood slowly healing him.
"Kol," Klaus warned him sharply.
"I know, I know," Kol waved carelessly, "he'll be as good as new. Go."
Klaus took her back into his study. He locked the door. Sage was still burning. Silence.
The outside world could not hear them but the silence inside the room was far more prominent.
Caroline clawed at her upper arms unable to look at Klaus.
She swayed on unsteady legs, her eyes were still seeing black. She was barely holding on.
She couldn't dare face Klaus. She was terrified and horrified.
What she had done?
And what was worse was that the bloodlust wasn't getting any better. She was still ravenous. She still wanted to finish what she had started. If Klaus was to let her leave this room she would end up attacking more people tonight.
What was wrong with her?
Klaus was silently observing her. He was standing in front of the door. Ready to block her exit. He knew.
He had seen her at her worst. He had seen how much of a monster she truly was.
And to imagine she used to believe she was better than him.
She hugged her middle with trembling hands and stifled a cry trying to do what Stefan had told her a long time ago. She tried to breathe. She tried to hold on to her control.
It was slipping. Her control was slipping and the world was turning and she wanted to scream.
Instead, her next admission was barely a whisper.
"I can't stop," Caroline heaved, "I can't make it go away."
She hurt. Everything hurt.
She didn't dare raise her head. She didn't dare move.
But Klaus did.
With certain steps, he walked closer and Caroline kept her eyes closed as he lifted her head back by sliding his fingers under her chin.
She panted and then his fingers caressed the veins that still throbbed on her face forcing her eyes to snap open. Eyes filled with blood.
She expected to see disgust or pity in his eyes. Instead, she saw fondness.
Klaus casually took off his jacket and then unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt and rolled them up to his elbows.
What was he doing?
Her eyes were now transfixed on the veins that ran over the corded muscles of his arms.
She swallowed harshly.
He leaned over her and his lips touched her ear. She started burning.
"Let me take care of you sweetheart," he coaxed and gently turned her around so her back would rest against his chest. His breath tickled her skin.
And then-
Klaus pushed his arm in front of her mouth, offering her his blood.
Her fangs dropped and before she could think her razor-sharp teeth slid into his flesh and she moaned as the taste of his blood hit her tongue.
The first drop set her off. The hunger was all-consuming and left nothing in its wake. The only thing that existed was Klaus' luscious blood.
Blood intoxicating.
The feeling was wondrous. The taste was heavenly as was the feeling of Klaus' body pressing against hers. She moaned again and latched on his forearm harder.
Ecstasy.
Her body started falling and Klaus followed the fall. Before Caroline knew it they were entangled down on the plush carpet in front of his fireplace. She was enveloped in a cocoon of warmth greedily sucking Klaus' blood.
She had drunk from him before. She had never forgotten. Back then she was burning with wolf venom. Now the poison, the sickness she felt, was not born from a hybrid's bite but was coming from within; only Klaus' blood still cured the disease. It brought her back to life. It filled the void.
She held on to his arm with both hands biting deeper but Klaus didn't complain. His lips were on the top of her head, his arm wrapped around her waist while she held on to his other hand as if it was her lifeline and it was.
She kept drinking and Klaus' blood was enough to restore some of her sanity but it wasn't enough.
A tear fell down her cheek and she closed her eyes harder refusing to accept this reality. What has she done? She almost ripped apart an innocent man, not caring at all.
If it wasn't for Klaus and Kol holding her back she would have finished him off.
What has she done?
What kind of monster was she?
A sob threatened to emerge from her lips when she realized that she was also hurting Klaus with being so brutal and inconsiderate and she almost choked on his blood.
When had she turned into this? Into a destroyer, a predator that savaged and brought only ruin?
Klaus was now whispering soothing words against her ear. She pulled her fangs back and pressed her nose deeper into the open wound on Klaus' arm and lapped on the excess blood.
His flesh was stitching itself back together but she wanted to lick and smell and take in even the last drop and she felt the way he inhaled sharply. He wanted her. Even like this. Even now. She had bitten him, she had taken his blood and she felt the same lust coursing through her veins. She almost killed a man and yet that made the thrilling sensation of taking Klaus' blood far more intense.
Aroused and ashamed she pushed away but Klaus wouldn't let her. His hand around her waist was a steel restraint.
"Please," she murmured against his skin, letting him know she needed the distance.
Klaus cautiously removed his hand and she clumsily picked herself up from the floor. She quickly moved away from him feeling so much shame and dread for what she has done.
"Love-"
"Don't."
She wiped the blood from her face with the back of her hand. She knew she smeared her face with the bloodstains more and tried to breathe. To find her control again. To hold on to anything.
She didn't dare turn around to look at Klaus.
Worse was the hunger. It wasn't going away.
She kept shaking. She felt hunger, both physical and sexual, and so much rage that she found herself stuck between her desire for blood and Klaus and her disgust for herself. She was out of control, running on fumes.
She was losing her sanity. She was falling in an abyss and there was no helping her.
She was a predator. A ripper. She had to come to terms with it. She couldn't live like this and yet she was starving for blood sinking in deeper into this fever.
Klaus rose from the floor slowly as if he was afraid that any abrupt movements would make her bolt.
"You need more," Klaus said and Caroline covered her face with her hands.
"Caroline, it's okay."
Nothing was going to be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.
She threw her head back wanting to scream at him. To tell him that nothing would be okay.
She kept her eyes closed and all she could see was how she tore apart those people in the alley, how she attacked the waiter. All she could see was how she died. All she could see was Purgatory. All she could see was how she had attacked Esther when she was in Synnove's body. All she could see, all she could feel, was the blood she had tasted.
She licked her lips almost moaning. Klaus' blood still lingered on her tongue. He was lingering at the edge of her lips. She opened her eyes trying to regain her control but she couldn't. She did however turn around ready to face Klaus' worry and even pity but she saw neither.
He looked at her square in the eyes. There was no compassion or any hint of him feeling sorry for her.
She didn't have to see a mirror to see how she looked. Disheveled, with blood smeared on her face and her ruined dress. With her hair wildly all out of place. With veins puffing under her bloodshot eyes. And yet Klaus looked at her as if she was still beautiful and coveted and not a hot mess.
There was something dark and fierce in his eyes but thankfully no pity and that grounded her somewhat.
This time she didn't look away. This time her eyes locked on him. And she felt more than bloodlust. What she felt was so intense that she knew that she was at the point of no return.
She wasn't only about to sate her need by taking blood. She wanted everything that would come with blood sharing. She wanted the connection. The burn. She wanted to feel alive. To feel anything and not just this fucking death.
Klaus was right. She did need more.
She ran her tongue over her lip and noticed the way Klaus' eyes narrowed and how he now watched her as if he was spellbound. The realization of what she wanted hit him and Caroline saw how his body turned rigid at once. She felt the eagerness radiating from him in waves. Crawling out.
The dam that contained his own control was about to break.
"I need more," Caroline echoed his words, and this time her voice was not just inhuman. Hoarse and drawn out. It was desire made real.
The sharp inhale Klaus took woke up the darkest of her desires and she wanted to do more than just taste his blood. She wanted to claim him. To drink him in and devour him whole. To have him inside her veins.
She gulped when the gleam inside Klaus' eyes intensified. It captivated her even more and Klaus didn't waver at all.
"Have at it."
He knew what she wanted. What she needed.
His blood.
Him.
And he was willing to give her all that she needed.
This time she wasn't frantic. This time she wasn't just the predator despite how Klaus gladly became her prey. This time the roles were intertwined.
She slowly, very slowly prowled towards him, aflame with need. Her eyes didn't leave him and his gaze remained intently on her.
She stood in front of him. Her chest almost brushing his. He towered above her and when her eyes left his burning gaze they followed every inch of his body mentally undressing him.
She knew what lay underneath those clothes. She had felt his skin on hers a long time ago.
Her throat constricted and the hunger multiplied. She let her fingers trace the length of his arms and then she stared at the blood that was left on his forearm. She bit her lip and there was nothing human left in her. She was all vampire. All danger. All ice and fire. Only this time the killer in her had found its match.
She lifted his arm and brought it closer to her lips. She traced her nose up and down the vein that pumped the magnificent blood she wanted and her fangs slid down softly grazing his skin. She smiled at the goosebumps that rose on Klaus' skin. His control was waning. Just a breath away from the edge. They'd fall together.
A very thin line of blood bloomed on his arm and she swept her tongue over it taunting him.
His breath picked up.
She looked up at him with lips painted crimson from his blood and smiled.
A dangerous smile.
She let go of his arm and started circling him. Stalking him. Marking her prey.
Klaus' gaze followed her slowly before he started matching her steps. In rotation. A dance.
A dance macabre.
No music but their erratic heartbeats. Two monsters on the hunt.
The air around them electrified.
Circling, slow circling. Round and round. Locked together.
She stopped.
So did he.
Without warning her fingers wrapped around his throat. She gripped him like a vice. Her nails dug in and Klaus's lips curled. He provoked her. Challenged her. He let her be in control.
She felt the vein on his neck. The throbbing tempo forced her lust to skyrocket.
She pushed him back and the world shifted its colors in speeding movements. In less than a blink of an eye, she had thrown him on the sofa and straddled him. The skirt of her gown pooled up leaving her legs bare and she pressed her thighs against each side of Klaus.
Klaus leaned back against the pillows and she grabbed his hands and kept them locked at the backrest of the sofa at the right and left side of his face. She leaned over and ran her tongue over the right side of his face dropping lower until she bit his earlobe.
"Don't tease," Klaus mumbled, sounding almost tongue-tied and she smirked against his skin.
"Shh," she purred and gripped his wrists more keeping him trapped inside her touch and body.
She pressed the length of her body against his feeling him harden under her. Arousal pooled between her legs and the scent made both her and Klaus groan in unison.
She let go of his hands and ripped his shirt open, marveling at his necklaces and his solid chest, and then dove straight for his carotid artery.
This time she was in control. This time she took what she needed. Her fangs cut him with precision. This time she won the battle and the war between all sides of hers turned into peace. She was starving for Klaus' blood and she took.
Each drop, each gulp.
A siren song in her veins was demanding release. The need inside her was demanding a reckoning. It was devastating and freeing. It was ruin and obliterated everything else. It was all-consuming.
Her body moved against him rigorously. Klaus dropped his head back and exhaled. He arched against her, body shuddering.
Pleasure and pain mixed and Caroline kneaded his chest with hands that explored and wanted. With nails that cut.
Heat was sloshing in her veins. His taste was so, so, sweet as was his scent. Spice and honey. Wine and chocolate. All she ever wanted was in that metallic taste at the end of her tongue. A hint of promise, of hunger, of need and she, couldn't resist.
She was sinking in deeper into him and she heard him gasping for air. Her drenched core pulsated against his throbbing erection. They both almost came undone.
She pulled back with difficulty pushing her hair back struggling to catch her breath. Blood was pouring from the holes she had cut on Klaus' throat. His blood was still a mouthful in the cavern of her mouth.
She looked at him and rested her hand over his heart. It was slowing down. She swallowed down letting his blood pour down her throat slowly.
Klaus looked at her through heavy eyelids. He needed blood.
He had turned pale. Grey. His ashen skin felt like marble now and hints of veins appeared under his flesh. She had all but drained him but despite all that she took he still wanted to give. Aurelian threads reflected in the blue of his eyes. Gold and ocean. Both human and monster.
Caroline's chest rose and dropped with every breath. Hot, she was so hot.
And then she spiraled towards the unknown. Without a safety net. Without any doubt either.
She searched his eyes and came to terms with what she truly wanted.
"Together."
Her voice was an invitation. She opened herself in him and the dark dream they seemed to be locked in was turning into light.
Klaus' eyes widened. His eyes gleamed more making his pallid face seem even paler.
Klaus now looked at her like a starving man. Thrill and danger entered her bloodstream like lightning. She wanted him. To set her free. To sate the vampire inside her.
"I am poison, Caroline."
And he was more than that. He was her nemesis.
And yet she couldn't deny him.
She could see that the idea of hurting her was abhorrent to him now and she smiled and dragged him closer bringing her lips an inch away from his. His striking gaze was piercing every last of her defenses.
"Poison and cure," she reminded him with a tone that overruled all logic and shuttered the last of Klaus' hesitation. He growled and his hands sank in her unruly locks bringing her head even closer.
Their lips touched.
"You know what this means."
His voice was deep and tempted a primal part of hers.
She knew what it meant. She could feel it right down to her bones. She had imagined it a thousand times. How it would be. How it would feel.
It was personal. It was personal for their kind. Deeper than any truth, more profound than the laws of nature. Erotic, a bond they'd forge in blood. To set them free. To bind them together.
"I know," she breathlessly told him and Klaus' gaze turned to heat. Liquid gold.
His fangs came out. They were different from hers and she let her fangs show. The gold of his eyes became so bright. Caroline's mouth became dry.
She let her fingertips touch his fangs and shivers erupted up and down her spine when Klaus hissed.
He gripped her wrist stopping her and his hold was possessive. In that moment she didn't know if he would ever let her go and she didn't want him to.
"You'll be the first," she promised him because she had never done this before. Klaus' breath hitched and then he watched her as if she was the only thing in the world that existed.
And then-
His fangs pierced her shoulder. Deep.
Time came to a stop. Every voice in her head seized.
She felt the burn of his bite but his blood was already running in her veins and his venom mixed with it and battled to destroy and save her from within.
It set her alight with unbridled passion. It blew her mind and she rolled her hips twisting her body closer to him tempting him to lose control and the guttural sound that left Klaus' lips made feel more alive than ever. The power she had over him. It felt exhilarating. Carnal and heady. It spiked to life her most untold thoughts and needs.
Klaus' fingers wrapped around the nape of her neck tilting her head to the side to bury his teeth deeper in her shoulder.
She threw her head back as much as he allowed and closed her eyes. She gripped his shoulders and moaned. Klaus' bite was sensual, sending her over the edge.
She wanted to beg him. For what she didn't know. She didn't understand. She couldn't explain what he was doing to her.
This time his bite was not one of rage, or revenge or pain and yet she felt as if she was dying in his arms. This time his bite brought fever and insanity. It made her crazy. It brought pleasure. It felt both foreign and familiar but the terror she had felt in the past from his lethal bite was not there. This time Klaus' fangs began and ended in her flesh and he was becoming a part of hers and all the demons flew away.
She couldn't take it any longer.
Together.
She turned her head and buried it to his neck wanting to hide from the world. Wanting this moment to last.
Her blood was leaving her system. Her veins were drying up. She needed this. To feel the emptiness. To feel the pain.
And then she wanted to feel him.
Together.
Her fangs slipped inside his vein and the world exploded.
They both froze. Teeth in each other. One organism. One bite. Together.
Both moaned in unison finding absolution.
Thirsty. So thirsty and then… the hunger went away. It got replaced with something else. Something that had no name.
They sank deeper. The world became blood. His blood. Her blood. Their blood.
And then the moment stretched and they shared more than blood. They shared memories, thoughts, instincts. It was like a tsunami. And yet the world now had fallen into stillness.
They held to each other and bit deeper. Deeper, deeper, deeper.
She had never felt like this and she felt Klaus' emotions ran inside her too.
The moment eventually turned to frenzy.
Klaus' hands gripped her thighs and then started moving up and down her back as her hands gripped his curls trying to bring his head even closer to her skin. It was impossible but they tried to bring their bodies closer, to bite deeper. They wanted to damage each other. To create lasting damage that would leave an eternal mark.
They caressed each other with pain. With pleasure. Without any mercy.
The pain became comfortable. It became smoke, heat, a cage to be held within.
They bled each other dry and fed their desire and hunger with more blood. Blood that was streaming from her body straight into his mouth and from his body straight into her mouth in a never-ending cycle.
Caroline pushed the shoulder Klaus was biting towards him more. She wrapped her legs harder against him and felt his hardness against her core. She thrust herself against him drinking his blood that scorched the venom from her system just as his fangs shot more poison in her blood sending both fire and death inside her.
Warmth flowed and Klaus leaned forward taking her with him. He slowly rose from their sitting position and she held on to him as he lowered them down and they found themselves on the floor. He pushed her down, his body covered her and she held him close. Their teeth wouldn't unlock. They'd go together. Her heels scratched his legs, his ass, his back. Her nails tore the skin of his back feeling his muscles flex under her powerful grip. She felt Klaus' claws tangling her hair.
There was so much pain and so much tenderness. She melted and Klaus' body merged with hers.
They rolled on the carpet trying to find more friction.
She turned them over until she was on top and her hair fell over, tingling their sensitive skin, as her body blanketed Klaus' frame. He held her close and she held on to him tightly.
The moment felt like a kiss. A kiss of death. A thousand deaths. A thousand birthdays. She was dying a deathless death only to be reborn moments after.
She felt the tingles of pleasure surging, rising. She shuddered and came undone. She came apart. Klaus followed.
She wanted to scream but all sound muffled and turned to a moan against Klaus' flesh.
Nothing could compare with this feeling. Hypnotic, carnal, possessive. Demanding…Orgasmic.
It was obsession and it made everything brighter. Every sensation, every color, every sound. The vampire inside her awoke in all its glory and it was glorious. She saw red and lost count of the times she came.
Everything about this moment was magnetic. Nothing could compare. Not death, not the kill, not even sex.
She was floating and she didn't want to touch the ground again. She didn't want to come down from this high ever again.
The connection between them became a tightrope. But all was balance.
She belonged now and she didn't want to come back down from this feeling. Not ever. It felt perfect. Primal, divine, and ethereal. It was healing her. It was light and shadow and everything in between. All emotions raged. Hate and love and pain and pleasure. All the dark and all the light and she understood why they were called creatures of the night. Energy burst in her. She felt the night and the stars exploding inside her and she wanted to laugh and cry and scream and burn.
Klaus took over her and she took over him. She felt him. Where she began he ended and his beginning and ending was her destination. She wanted to take every part of him and give him hers in return.
She felt eternity.
She felt…love.
She had heard vampires sharing blood together was explosive but nothing could describe this incredible feeling.
Heaven and hell. Sin and redemption. They were…one.
The frantic frenzy turned to a soft sigh.
And then she blacked out.
Caroline had become boneless in Klaus' embrace. She felt both exhausted and rejuvenated. She couldn't put in words what she felt. What had just happened? Even in her wildest imagination, it was never like this.
She didn't know how much time had passed. They had locked the whole world outside of their small bubble and for that moment she was content.
They were both on the floor, facing the soft embers that shimmered in the fireplace. They were spent.
Klaus' back was leaning against the legs of the sofa, his legs were stretched in front of him and she was lying all over him.
They both smelled like each other and Caroline knew that if she were to bite her wrist now and taste her blood she would taste Klaus. He still circulated inside her. The idea that she was now running inside his veins too brought out a possessive side of hers she didn't know it existed. Klaus had yielded to her. She had felt it. She had conquered him completely and she had given in to him just as fully. And she didn't feel bad about it.
She snuggled closer.
Klaus had draped his jacket around her body but she knew the mess they presented. They were both covered in blood, their clothes half torn, their bodies recovering from the sensory overload.
It was a weird comfortable and awkward moment but this was as relaxed as they'd both get.
The hunger was gone. The emptiness was gone. Klaus had brought her back.
But she didn't know how she felt. Both drained and complete. Filled to the brim with emotions she couldn't explain.
It was as if one weight was replaced by another and her shoulders were still aching with the burden of it but now she felt somehow older, wiser, more experienced.
If what she had with Klaus was complicated before after what just happened between them it had turned into a gargantuan labyrinth but this time she didn't feel lost.
There was no regret. She was glad she had shared this moment and this experience with him. It couldn't have happened with anyone else. And deep down she knew she wouldn't allow this to happen with anyone else.
Klaus Mikaelson was the first and the last man she'd ever bloodshare with like this. This wasn't just personal. She felt as if she had cut herself open and gave him a piece of her. One she knew he would cherish because she now held a part of him too. They had exchanged feelings, emotions, thoughts, hallucinations. Even flashes of memory. The memories faded into a state of dream and intertwined with flashes of fantasy but they were as real as reality was. It was a window into each other's souls and Caroline would have expected this to feel like a violation but instead, it felt just…right.
She looked up and his smile prompted her to melt more into his arms. Klaus wiped with his thumb a drop of blood from her lower lip.
His blood.
"Thank you," she mumbled but somehow she didn't feel like blushing. She felt as if this was meant to happen. She only hoped that it hadn't happened like this. With her breaking apart in one of her most destructive moments.
She sighed as memories of what had led to this came back into her mind and she felt her heart shuttering. For some moments all the pain and even the memory from Purgatory had vanished. That feeling could very well turn addictive but it didn't last.
Right now she once more remembered it all.
She remembered what she had done.
She tried to move away from him but Klaus pulled her close again.
If things were different maybe this moment would have been totally different too. But she felt as if she was mourning and the feeling of grief combated the sensation of fulfillment she felt. It was tainted and she knew that if things were different between them this could have ended very differently.
She looked down at his chest and let herself play with one of his necklaces.
"I-we-"
She didn't know how to explain this to him. She felt as if she was a blushing virgin for crying out loud. How ridiculous was that after what they had just shared?
But that didn't stop her from feeling raw and open against him. Vulnerable.
She wanted him to understand.
Klaus framed her cheek with his warm palm and Caroline sighed at the sensation. She as a vampire was mostly cold to the touch but Klaus was a hybrid and he always ran hot.
"It was not the right time."
Klaus agreed with her and this time Caroline did blush.
They could have had sex too. It would have been incredible and even a more earth shuttering defining moment only somehow it had felt wrong and despite how far gone they both were in the moment they blood shared something held them back from giving in completely to each other.
They didn't even kiss.
"It was not," Caroline accepted almost sadly.
Klaus smiled and pushed her hair behind her ears gently.
"Not tonight," he said, leveling his gaze with hers, and it sounded like a promise for the future.
Maybe one day it would be the right moment. Caroline felt her body tingling just at the thought of it.
Klaus kissed her forehead affectionately. There was still heat in his gesture but most of their energy had transmuted into something deeper.
She sighed and relaxed in his arms but that feeling didn't last long.
She tensed and felt her eyes burning.
"There is something wrong with me" she whispered terrified, her voice breaking as she shared that dreadful thought with him.
Klaus' expression softened.
"You are a vampire Caroline. There's nothing wrong with that."
Caroline couldn't just accept that though.
"Klaus-"
"Don't sweetheart," Klaus cajoled her softly but his tone was serious, "a guilt trip right now will do you no good. It's only wasted energy for things that don't even matter."
Caroline watched him disbelievingly unable to believe how blase was about this whole thing.
"How can you say that?"
Klaus stroked her arm nonchalantly. It was an intimate gesture that contradicted his cynical words.
"You can't change the past no matter how much you try," Klaus simply said, "you can only move forward and if I am being honest I don't give a fuck if you want to eat through the entire population of New Orleans."
His callous approach had her fuming.
"I do," she argued and frowned when Klaus smiled at her pleased.
"And that's why I know you will be just fine."
Caroline sighed and sat up. Klaus let her and she turned her back at him bringing her knees her chin. She stared at the flames in the hearth and held on to Klaus' jacket in front of her as if it was her lifeboat. She liked how the soft material felt but most of all how it smelled. Like him.
She pushed her face into the fabric of his jacket and inhaled.
"My control is not as it used to be," she mumbled as Klaus' fingers gently traced her spine up and down. It seemed he needed the physical connection and if she was being honest so did her.
"I know."
A flicker of pain passed through her face but Klaus didn't seem as bothered as she would expect about her condition.
"You don't seem to be surprised."
"It's not unexpected," he remarked, "if anything it makes sense given what you've been through and what you are still going through," Klaus rationalized her behavior and Caroline angled her head towards him.
Her hair fell over her shoulder and Klaus played with the wayward strands.
She didn't know what she was searching in his face but Klaus remained calm under her scrutiny. She eventually eased up.
"I almost ruined your treaty," she sighed.
Klaus shrugged and she gave him an incredulous look.
He chuckled at her response and pulled her towards him until she settled back and her head rested on his legs. He became her pillow and she almost whimpered at the sensation. Klaus' face cast darkness over her and Caroline watched mesmerized the way his features were illuminated by the soft light of the fire. It was a game of obscurity and dim orange shades that reflected on his face as he watched her from above with a smirk.
"Make no mistaking love," Klaus drawled, "I didn't stop you because of the treaty. Sure not having to deal with Elijah tedious fretting in the aftermath is a plus," he winked at her before he turned solemn, "but that's not why I stopped you."
Caroline reached for his hand and started tracing his palm with her fingers. She felt comfortable with him. Only in a way lovers would.
"Why then?"
Klaus moved his palm and cupped her jaw angling her head backward forcing her gaze to find him in the dark.
"I knew you would regret killing someone like that," he confessed showing at her exactly how much he cared since most of the time Klaus disregarded human life. Something his next words proved, "otherwise all you have to do is ask and I'll get you any human you want to snack on."
Caroline glared at him and he smirked.
Caroline closed her eyes tiredly.
"He was alive, right?"
She knew the man she had attacked was alive when they left him with Kol but she still needed the added confirmation.
"Yes. Barely," Klaus told her not sugarcoating the situation for her.
Klaus tipped her face up.
"Between me and Kol and all the servants we've dined on," Klaus jested, "let's say you'd surprised to know that it is a miracle this line of profession is still in the market love."
Caroline got up once more. She couldn't share his joking mood.
This time she didn't turn her back at him. She stared straight into his eyes.
Fearfully.
"I am turning into a ripper."
"No, you are not."
Klaus gave her pause. He rejected her claim and her fears solidly with such conviction. She was surprised by his certainty.
"How can you tell?"
"There's no on and off switch with rippers," Klaus informed her casually, "You either are or you are not. If you were one you'd have shown signs ever since your transition."
Caroline mulled over what he said.
"What's happening to me then?"
Klaus considered her with keen eyes.
"My guess? Trauma response."
Caroline gave him a flabbergasted look.
"Excuse me?"
"PTSD love," Klaus clarified for her and she scoffed.
"Vampire don't get that."
"Who says that?" Klaus chuckled.
"Come on," Caroline mumbled clearly rejecting his idea.
"Of course we do Caroline," Klaus told her gravelly, "and since our emotions are heightened our disorders become far more visceral too."
Caroline grimaced at that.
"So I am a basket case?"
"You are hurting and you are an obsessive personality which adds to the pain," Klaus analyzed her, speaking casually as if he was describing the weather. He was not judging her. "And," he added, "you are trying to cope but you are out of balance and with your coping mechanisms being unhealthy and dysfunctional it keeps adding more to your stress instead of alleviating it."
Caroline scrunched up her nose.
"Has Cami tutored you into becoming a therapist too?" she bitterly grumbled almost flinching when she realized how she couldn't stop herself form sounding peeved as she mentioned Cami and Klaus smirked.
He reached for her and she batted his hand away ready to get up but instead, Klaus's arms went for her waist and she huffed when she found herself straddling him again.
Klaus ignored her fuming state and gave her a crooked smile.
"You do understand I was kind of around when Camille's field of expertise was born right?"
Caroline rolled her eyes at his smug mockery but didn't move away from him. She wouldn't forget the stunt he pulled with Cami tonight but for now, she didn't want to linger there.
"Yeah, we get it. You are a billion years old," she deflected making Klaus laugh.
"Not that I'd need my billion years old of experience to figure you out," Klaus bragged.
"And why is that?" she asked him with narrowed eyes.
Klaus wrapped his arms around her bringing her closer and Caroline felt her body coming alive. Straddling him like this, having his body under her. It felt natural, intimate. Hot.
"Haven't you heard that saying …Birds of a feather flock together?" Klaus grinned and Caroline was drawn both to him goading her and to him flirting with her. She tilted her head to the side in question. Damn him, he made her not only feel comfortable but also playful and intrigued.
"I told you before Caroline," Klaus reminded her, "we are the same you and I."
Caroline felt the same encompassing feeling again. Klaus was finding his way into her heart. Again.
She tried to hide how much his words influenced her by letting out a disbelieving laugh.
"You are doing this now?"
Klaus beamed at her, looking as if her laughter was all he needed to come alive too.
"Why not now?"
Caroline looked away and Klaus' fingertips traced the outline of her bottom lip.
"Now Caroline," Klaus insisted, "Now more than ever."
Caroline frowned at his tone and when she looked at him she saw so much emotion and acceptance in his eyes that she felt herself falling.
She was falling for him.
Only she wasn't the person she used to be. The girl Klaus had fallen for. She wore a façade now hiding behind who she used to be. Pretending to the Caroline Forbes she used to be.
She wasn't.
There were times she felt as if she was fading away. As if there was no way out. As if the sadness and the darkness would linger forever. She felt as if she had walked through fire and all that was left was her charred bones, black as coal. With her heart turning equally black like tar.
Why would Klaus or anyone want her now?
"Never feel shame with me," Klaus told her with fervor and before she could protest he placed a finger over her mouth silencing her, "I will never judge you, I will never see you as anything else or less than the girl I once danced with at that ball in Mystic Falls that night long ago love," he confessed and her heart missed a beat, "that girl that was so full of life and …light."
Was she that transparent to him?
She probably was. Or at least her self-pity was.
Caroline felt sadness washing over her. His words should feel like a balm only they were not because that girl was gone. And sometimes she missed that girl so much. That girl felt so irrevocably lost to her.
She had left that girl back in Purgatory. It had been the only way for her to survive and for Klaus to see that girl in her still.
It hurt.
"I am not that girl anymore," she swallowed thickly in defeat.
"No, you are not," Klaus accepted making the hurt inside her increase, "because you've grown into a woman. A woman that's had a taste of death and darkness and …it changes absolutely nothing," he assured her so passionately and decisively that it provoked hope inside her and she hadn't felt that kind of feeling for a long time. It almost felt out of place to be anything but hopeless. Especially tonight. "You are still beautiful, you are still strong and you are still full of light," Klaus carried on, "it shines even if you can't see it. I do."
For a second there Caroline wished she could see herself through his eyes again. She had seen glimpses of that when they bloodshared but as he talked to her now she felt that she wanted to be able to see herself in the way he did. Like he always did because Klaus had that uncanny ability to see her as someone of worth ever since the first time he truly laid eyes on her. He saw her as special when no else had to. When she had been tryin so hard to prove to others her worth and how she could be first for someone like Elena was for all those that met her.
"Whatever the future has in store for us I need you to remember that I will always respect you, Caroline. I will always admire the woman you are," Klaus promised her and she felt her eyes prickle, "no matter which side you choose. No matter where this all leads," he forebodingly predicted reminding her their argument from earlier, "and there is nothing you can do that can give me pause or make me regard you as less of who you truly are."
Caroline's body sagged against him.
Who was she?
She didn't know anymore.
"The way you see me, Klaus," she started with a low voice, "just don't."
"Don't what Caroline?"
She regarded him with a resigned look.
"Don't shape me up into something ideal or perfect," she protested with a pained expression, "I am not."
Klaus inclined his head.
"You never were," he admitted, "and that's what drawn me to you. It still does."
Caroline made a noncommittal sound.
"Sweetheart," Klaus drew her in with his husky accented voice, "whatever you've done I've done it. I've done more things that you could even imagine doing. I've felt it all, done it all, will do it again," he blatantly said and licked his lips slowly.
His eyes now were set on her with emotion so acute that ignited her longing for him.
His fingers splayed at her waist before they settled at the back of her neck framing her face.
"Your darkest corners don't give me fright," he promised her, "I am not afraid of the dark."
He held her gaze and made it clear that he would not go anywhere. He was right here for her and there was nothing he could see in her that would make him give her up. From darkness to light he'd stay.
Death, brutality, ugliness didn't scare him or disgusted him.
She could paint the world red, she could paint it black, she could set it on fire and Klaus would be there to dance with her in the ashes.
Her gaze sought his. Sometimes when Klaus was relaxed and easy-going with her, when he looked smitten or gave her a piece of his heart it was easy to almost forget that despite everything he still was and would forever remain an unrepentant sinner. He walked in darkness. He was darkness.
He wasn't afraid of the dark. He thrived in it. He became it.
Her self-doubt reared its ugly head again.
Because she was afraid.
"I am," she confessed, insecurity and fear taking her over. There was no masking it. She was afraid.
She wasn't one thousand years old. She wasn't indestructible. She couldn't outlast the darkness. She used to love being a vampire but now that vampire was running amok and no matter how much she could pretend being confident and powerful in the end was just a damaged little girl afraid of the dark.
She held back her breath when Klaus' forehead touched hers. She was afraid that he could see that pathetic version of her that she had tried so much to change.
"If only you could see," he sighed and closed his eyes as if he saw better that way.
Caroline couldn't take her eyes away from him. His voice had a strange, wistful, note to it and it pulled her closer to him like a magnet.
"See what?"
"How light always shines brightest in the dark."
Klaus opened his eyes again and this time the blue shade of his orbs was so bright that gave definition to the darkness around them.
Caroline wrapped her arms around his middle.
"You've said that even the purest hearts are drawn to darkness."
Klaus's lips curled to a beautiful smile.
"I did."
Caroline stiffened then.
"My heart ain't that pure anymore."
"Sure it is," Klaus contradicted her statement at once.
"Klaus-"
"You misinterpreted my words, Caroline," he cut her off, "Purity doesn't necessarily have to mean innocence. Sometimes it can mean other things as well."
He was being elusive and yet certain in his belief and he challenged her to be brave and ask him what he meant.
And so she did.
"Like what?"
He now gave her a knowing look filled with pride.
"Pure strength."
Caroline rejected the notion.
"I don't feel strong. I feel-"
Klaus gave her a questioning look urging her to continue.
"Weak. Pathetic," she revealed in a broken whisper looking at him through half-lowered lids.
She had returned from Purgatory but that fucking place had won. No matter what she did she felt as if she was a ghost not meant to be here. She didn't feel alive. She felt shackled in a winless situation.
Klaus's eyes were not providing solace in the way he regarded her. She felt bare under his merciless gaze. It was almost cruel because it was honest.
Her walls were coming down, caving in. She wanted to move and ran away but she remained frozen.
"You are right," Klaus responded.
Hearing him say it stung.
Klaus then ran the back of his knuckles over her cheek and continued, "you are not the girl you used to be. You left her back in Purgatory because you had to survive and while you did survive… she didn't."
Caroline stilled completely.
Klaus telling her this made it even more real.
"Stop."
She visibly shuddered when she realized Klaus wouldn't stop until he told her what she didn't want to hear.
She gave him a pleading gaze and this time she tried to move away but he didn't let her.
She childishly tried to cover her ears to stop this but Klaus showed no mercy and yanked her hands away and with them all her shields.
She felt helpless and she struggled to get away but Klaus cupped her face with force leaving her no choice than to surrender to all the things she didn't want to listen.
How she had fallen from grace. How she was one step away from grace if she wanted to. How she hadn't tried. How she really hadn't tried. How she still had not found her way despite finding her way from Purgatory into the land of the living.
"You haven't mourned her passing Caroline," Klaus pushed her more while she was already teetering on the edge, "but for you to move on you'll need to do that. To say goodbye to her and embrace who you are now. An equally beautiful person, battle scars and all."
The agonizing tightness grew.
"Nothing will matter if you don't start living again sweetheart and for that, you need to grieve first."
Caroline shook her head.
This was nothing more than an invitation to more pain. And Klaus knew it.
He knew that pain meant she was alive and she had to give in to the pain to live again and she hadn't done this so far. She had run from it, desperately trying to hide from it. She felt she had no fight left in her because the alternative would be to accept what truly had happened. To accept this hadn't been but a bad dream. That she wasn't weak and pathetic. She was just…a victim. And that she fought and fought for something that now didn't feel as if it was worth fighting for, to begin with. Because this existence wasn't what she dreamed when she was in Purgatory. Because she had believed she could continue from where she left off but she couldn't. Purgatory changed everything. And she had to accept it. She had to accept that her old life was taken away from her and it was never coming back. Purgatory hadn't been a respite or a nightmare. It broke her. And now she had to pick up the pieces and glue them back together; and she hadn't so far because she hated the idea of not being who she used to be. She hated the idea of being a new person with scars and jagged edges. Cut and stitched back together.
Klaus was the only person that knew her enough to give voice to her most inner fears and thoughts. To all that haunted her. This was why she didn't want to be with him. This is why she didn't want to return to Mystic Falls to all those that knew her from before. This was why she hadn't wanted to stay in New Orleans either. Because Klaus knew her from before.
Because Klaus knew her period.
And he knew her demons.
He could pull her back from the abyss but that would hurt too. So much. And she was afraid. She felt unworthy. And such a coward.
And it hurt.
Living hurt as much as dying did.
"Klaus-"
He just wouldn't give up. He just wouldn't let her give up either.
He was pure strength. The strength she was missing. The spark she needed to ignite her own strength.
"You are like a phoenix Caroline."
She stared at him and warmth started seeping through to all those paralyzed parts of her.
"You came back to life from your own ashes. Quite literally," Klaus smiled and watched her with admiration and unadulterated joy. "That makes you a magnificent creature. You looked death in the eye and you pillaged it," Klaus all but applauded watching her with renewed interest but she knew that his next words would be mournful in their wisdom.
Old. Sometimes she forgot how old Klaus was.
Because Klaus now shared with her what he had lived too in his thousand years of battles, victories, and losses, "Every war has losses though. Nothing is gained without pain and loss. But those that win the war are only rising stronger because of it. So did you."
"So yes love," he said insightfully while cradling her closer, "Even the purest hearts are drawn to darkness. But you don't need to be afraid of the dark Caroline. Don't let it win for it drew you in and you survived," his eyes cut into her, "you conquered it, and here you are."
Caroline felt adrift. Into the darkness that called her still. Into the darkness that Klaus was now searching her in.
"Sometimes I don't feel like I am here."
She removed herself from Klaus' arms and sat beside him. Her eyes fixated on the flames. But she felt as if she was gazing into an endless void. There were times she felt empty. Unable to shed even a tear.
"Where do you feel you are?"
"Sometimes," she mumbled, "I feel like I am going to open my eyes and still be in Purgatory."
Her tone was flat and Klaus waited. He gave her time and she threw her head back and let out a long exhale.
"I left pieces of myself in that place. Sometimes it feels as if I left the best parts of me there and no matter how much I try… I can't ever get them back."
This time Klaus' tone was sympathetic.
"Maybe you don't have to, love."
"What's left then?"
Klaus took her head and brought it to his lips warming her knuckles with a soft kiss.
"You. Always you."
Caroline smiled ruefully.
"I don't know who I am anymore."
"Try to find out then," Klaus encouraged her, "And who knows. Maybe you'll be surprised by what you find."
She looked at him and she appreciated that he wasn't making it easy for her. He wasn't giving her the answers because he didn't have them either.
She had to pick up her own pieces and come back from this rock bottom.
She could see that Klaus didn't feel as if she was too far gone and she wished she could share his faith and believe that she could persevere once more. She used to believe that. She used to have that faith before.
Maybe one day she would again.
"Maybe," she accepted and Klaus beamed at her.
Maybe she could just do that.
Caroline felt emotionally drained and exhausted. It was as if Klaus had ripped her open and exposed her heart.
And yet somehow she felt also lighter.
She looked down at herself with a sigh.
There was no saving her dress. It was all ruined now. She had gotten blood all over it.
Caroline examined the damage thinking that something had to be profoundly wrong with her because she was mourning for the state of her dress as much as she did for attacking the waiter.
Mourning. Such a peculiar concept.
For now, at least, she could focus on the dress no matter how ridiculous this was. But damn it this had been such a beautiful dress.
"Kol has conditioned you to his voice hasn't he?"
Caroline tensed. This time Klaus went straight for the kill.
Of course, he had seen it. He wasn't an idiot. He saw how it was only Kol's voice that broke through her madness.
Caroline took the drink Klaus offered and brought it to her lips trying to gain some time but it was futile to deny this. She looked at Klaus that sat next to her on the sofa.
"Yes."
She noticed how Klaus' expression hardened but she opened up. After the way he had helped her tonight, she felt as if she owed him as much. And at the same time, she wanted him to understand why what she had with Kol was important too.
"At a certain volume and intonation his voice is like an incentive for me," she came clean.
She knew how this sounded. How toxic and how codependent her relationship with someone like Kol probably seemed especially to someone like Klaus. She didn't want Klaus and Kol to clash because of her. But she had to make Klaus see where she was coming from, "I react instinctively to it now," she confided to Klaus hating the anger she saw in his eyes, "logically I do not care for what your brother says or not but the tone of his voice...is grounding me."
"Or compelling you," Klaus shot back at her angrily and she shook her head.
"It is not compulsion. It is-"
"Suggestion," Klaus finished for her and she nodded.
"Things in Purgatory were not easy and I," she paused trying to regain her composure, "I had to overcome pain but I couldn't at first and Kol helped."
"I bet," Klaus snapped with disgust and Caroline closed her eyes in frustration. He couldn't get it. He couldn't get how the bond she had formed with Kol went both ways. How they had become family in Purgatory. How she owed him so much.
She stared at her drink as Klaus finished his bourbon in one go.
He got up and forced himself to not break the glass in his hand. He was becoming progressively angrier.
He hadn't felt this kind of destructive rage in ages but he didn't want Caroline to see it. Not now after all she has been through. He wanted to help her not add more pressure to her, especially after what happened between them tonight. Sharing blood with her like this had been unexpected and yet a blessing.
Bloodsharing was always personal but it could take many forms. In the past for him, in the rare times he had attempted it with other vampires that eventually he had killed, it had been purely physical.
As cliché as it sounded, it was like the distinction of either having sex or making love. He couldn't comprehend it before but he could now.
Sharing blood with another vampire could be purely physical or could transcend into something different and far more profound. It could be like making love only in a way humans could never comprehend.
This is what happened between him and Caroline and he now felt more protective and possessive of her than ever before.
Maybe he had taken advantage of her. She couldn't have probably known what it meant to bloodshare like this and she was vulnerable tonight but once she had asked him to share blood with her he couldn't resist. It was beyond his power and control and now he felt more than ever that Caroline belonged by his side. He needed to have her, to hold her, to make sure she was safe. To make sure that she was his. Forever.
Caroline was his heartache and what ended his heartache. She was precious and deserved everything the world had to offer. Only the best.
That alone made him want to bury Kol into the deepest ocean. He still remembered how Kol used to train humans and vampires to obey his voice without compelling them in the past.
And for his brother to have that power over Caroline. It made him furious. Worse was the way he remembered Kol's training sessions. His little brother was always a sadistic bastard when it came right down to it. He manipulated and brainwashed and always tortured his victims until they broke and became mindless servants to his voice.
His eyes burned gold.
If Kol did this to his Caroline-
The glass did crack in his hold and Caroline rushed at him and watched him with desperate eyes.
"It is not like that Klaus," she tried to reason with him, "I would not have survived there without his help."
Klaus threw away the shards of glass and it was only Caroline's touch as she tried to remove the bleeding pieces from his palm that somewhat tamed the beast in him.
His eyes turned back to normal but he had to use every last ounce of his control to make the wolf inside him howl at the back of his mind instead of taking over him.
"Don't cut yourself, short love. You are a survivor. You always have been."
Caroline smiled but that smile wasn't enough to set him at ease.
He just could not help it. He was not pleased with Kol's and Caroline's relationship. And he was afraid that Kol might take advantage of it. His brother wasn't trustworthy and Klaus wanted to put a stop to their connection. If Caroline was anyone else he would have compelled her to forget Kol but he couldn't do that to her.
He could now see that even daggering Kol wouldn't break their sickening bond either. Caroline was too stubborn for that and giving her ultimatums was just as probable to send her to his brother's arms instead of moving her away from Kol's control and influence.
He was at an impasse. He had to think and find a permanent solution that wouldn't drive Caroline away from him.
But he had already pushed her too much this night. He regretted it. He shouldn't have kept pushing her limits demanding everything all at once when she was still struggling so much. This was on him. He had been selfish and he was equally to blame for how Caroline had snapped tonight. Despite Kol's twisted influence on his girl, he knew he was no better and he'd never forgive himself for that.
And still. Her bond with his brother destroyed his rationality. It provoked the beast inside him.
Klaus chanced a look at Caroline again.
She had given him a gift tonight. A precious gift he intended to cherish and commit to memory. He had never felt anything similar in his thousand years of existence.
And he wanted to experience the same divine sensation again. If Caroline became his…his Queen…he could be just as blissful and content for the rest of his eternity because after tasting her like this tonight he knew he'd never let her go.
And now he was greedy. He wanted more. Everything she had to give.
"Did you come for Kol?"
Caroline frowned.
"What? No! I told you I came for Cami…I-"
"Not tonight. In the compound the day he attacked Hayley," he clarified.
Caroline went back to the sofa and then drank the rest of her drink mimicking the way he had finished his own.
"No."
Klaus felt lighter at her admission. She was being honest and he had repeatedly wondered about that day.
"Why did you come then?" he questioned her before he smirked mockingly, "except for saving the little wolf that you so much like."
Caroline's surprise was cute.
"Kol told you?"
Klaus gave her a pointed look. He arched his brow and Caroline tried to hold back a smile at how well he knew her.
"Right," she mumbled and wrung her fingers together before her gaze found him, "I came to apologize," she finally revealed, "to you."
Klaus brow furrowed.
"For moving out the way I did," Caroline explained quietly.
"You regret it?" he asked her hopefully.
"Moving out? No," she quickly crushed his hope. She would not return to his home, "but," she intoned the word in a deep breath, "you gave me a home when I didn't have any and your help. I didn't mean to be ungrateful."
Klaus's shoulders slumped and he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. This wasn't what he wanted from her.
"I don't want your gratitude Caroline, I-"
Caroline immediately got up and in a few steps, she was in front of him.
"It is not a bad thing, stop acting as if it is," she urged him with a stern voice of determination but she kept her tone filled with understanding too, "you helped me and I acknowledge that even if you make me furious to the point that it doesn't seem as if I do," she half-jokingly chastised him.
Klaus smiled at how adorable she looked in that moment.
"I guess we will both have to do better," Klaus pressed, not unkindly, "at least try."
"Yeah," Caroline gave him a small smile and Klaus looked at her shyly.
"What did you want to tell me when you came to the compound that day? What would you have said?"
His voice had taken a pleading note and Caroline pressed her lips amused at his boyish charm. Klaus needed reassurance and she marveled at how insecure he could be too. Klaus Mikaelson that was so assured and confident and yet he did have his moments.
She focused on his necklaces playing with a leather cord.
A delicate blush spread over her cheeks.
"That…The way I left your house wasn't right," she began bashfully staring at his chest avoiding his eyes, "I said some hurtful things and while I am still standing on the point I wanted to make," she pressed finally glancing up at him, "I know that – in your own dysfunctional way- you have been on my side. You've been trying with me. I've seen and felt it and I am making things so hard," she admitted, "You do too," she quickly added not wanting to coddle him and have him get the wrong impression of what she was saying, "but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate all that you've done for me. I know that… but you've been here for me and…I-…I guess I wanted to say…thank you."
It has been a long time since that day in Mystic Fall's high school corridor when she had uttered the same words to him. She had thanked him back then when he came to save her from Alaric promising her that she was safe. She had whispered the same words back then as she did now and in the same way, Klaus seemed to be shaken to the core to hear that from her or from anyone. He was so used to inspire fear and not gratitude.
Caroline realized at that moment that Klaus needed to be the source of something good for someone as much as the darkest parts of himself craved to hurt others too. He was a dichotomy but there was a glimpse of humanity under the monster that craved to connect with those he cared about. It was tentative and fragile but it was there even now.
And it would seem her words gave Klaus the solace he had kept seeking from her and in a way that went both ways.
As he glanced up at him Caroline realized that Klaus had also done something else too.
He had successfully managed to completely take her mind off. To cool her down and to sort of manipulate her into giving him the answers he wanted. Whatever he couldn't get with vinegar he could get with honey and he was the only person alive he could do this to her. Not even Kol could burn through her defenses so effortlessly.
Damn him he was good. So good that he felt like a magician when it came to pulling someone's strings either for destruction or healing.
A magician…
….A witch.
Caroline frowned and her mind flew at the moment of her disorientation when the Originals and the representatives of all factions gave the oath to uphold Elijah's treaty.
Flashback
Her breath hitched when she felt something on her back. It made the hair at the back of her head stand. It was like the whisper of wind and she turned around to see what it was. Only there was nothing. She blinked and almost stumbled feeling as if everyone else had disappeared and she was left alone in an abandoned room with a clock ticking backward.
It was a disorienting feeling.
It had happened just before she lost control and if her memory served her right she had felt that kind of pull before. When she had attacked those people in the alley. Only back then she had been focused only on her hunger. But both times her bloodlust had escalated abruptly despite the constant feeling of hunger she felt ever since she returned from Purgatory.
It was as if something…someone….
Caroline couldn't help herself from thinking that this felt like-
She touched her lips and pressed her fingers against them as if she could taste blood again. Only this time she could think clearly.
She was trapped inside this city and there was a reason for that. The magic that kept her locked inside New Orleans was biding its time. She hadn't been attacked so far. There had to be a reason for that too. The treat loomed over but as the time passed she was settling in this environment and that worked against her.
She had forgotten how to be vigilant. She had made the mistake to believe that now that she wasn't in Purgatory anymore she had the luxury to not be as alert.
Wrong.
A mistake.
One she had to correct.
She was bound to New Orleans. There had to be a reason for that. New Orleans had turned into her cage and she was kept in the boundaries of this place for a reason. She was being prepared for something and that something required her to stay in New Orleans and maybe even lose control of her bloodlust.
But why?
She kept thinking about it ever since she realized she could not leave NOLA but she felt that just maybe she was missing the obvious and that drove her mad.
That was one more mistake. She was making this personal. She was letting her anger get the best of her.
Caroline forced herself to think. She pushed away every feeling of rage, helplessness, and anything that could distract her and the picture became a bit more clear.
It was all strategy. A game of chess and she had been missing moves.
She had been distracted when she shouldn't have. Every second the barrier that caged her in remained active was every second she was in danger and that danger had to manifest somehow.
They were playing mind games with her. Just like Silas had once done. Tricks to weaken her or…groom her.
She wasn't a ripper. Klaus was right. She didn't have the right disposition for it.
Post-traumatic stress disorder could be an explanation but while she didn't completely discard this she had been tortured in the past more than once. She had faced pain and trauma and she had been in Purgatory long enough to have faced that kind of breakdown there too. She knew the signs. She had experienced them and there was something intricately different about what happened to her now.
The distinction was so minuscule but it was there. All she had was hold on that thread of doubt and pull. It would lead her to the answer. Either she asked the right question or not the answer was still there. She just had to dig deeper. To search. To think.
She could do that. Now, she could do that.
The waiter's blood had felt so good when she gorged on it but compared to Klaus' it felt stale. Drinking from Klaus came with an added bonus. His blood made her feel strong and her mind was clear and sound. She was not overwhelmed anymore and her mind was sharp to start connecting the missing pieces.
Her bloodlust felt unnatural. She was a vampire. She wasn't ashamed of what she was. What she was always felt natural to her. Even in Purgatory, she had embraced her vampire side in order to survive. She had never hidden from it. She thrived at being a vampire. She cherished and embraced her fangs and this feeling now was not natural.
Fabricated.
It had to be.
She retraced everything that happened to her tonight. Step by step. Every feeling.
She had drunk more blood bags before she came here tonight just in case. She was sated. She drank more blood tonight with each drink she got and she tasted everything. Nothing was spiked. Not the alcohol or the blood she consumed here tonight.
Something sparked her hunger.
It happened gradually all night. When she danced with Klaus too.
Flashback.
She suddenly smelled the sulfur from Purgatory.
The music vanished and became a loud screech in her ears. The walls were closing in on her again. All this emotional whirlwind was about to set her off. She could feel it deep in her bones. It was tugging and breaking out. She was about to be assaulted by one more of those imaginary attacks that always left her a heaving mess. She hadn't confessed about those incidents to anyone. She had first fallen victim to her bloodlust and ripped those people in the alley apart.
The ground shifted. Chaos threatened to spill under her heels.
And every time before her lapses happened she had flashes from Purgatory but they were always violently induced as if they were related to…magic.
Caroline looked at Klaus and his smile vanished at her apprehension.
"Someone increased it…my bloodlust," she realized speaking more to herself than him, "It was not a hex but I felt it."
She knew something was wrong. She should have trusted her instinct then and there but what she felt for Klaus had distracted her all evening. Whoever did this to her used her feelings for Klaus to distract her. They had to know her enough to know this would work. Whoever used this magic against her knew how to get under her skin long enough to do this damage and mess with her control.
And who else knew her here except the Originals?
Klaus didn't dismiss the possibility.
"There are many witches not wanting the new peace treaty to stand," Klaus mused and Caroline's expression hardened.
"Or maybe just one," she challenged but Klaus shook his head.
"She is not here Caroline," he assured her looking resolved and as hateful as she felt whenever that possibility arose, "we have taken precautions. I would have felt it."
Caroline said nothing but something told her that despite Klaus' reassurances if there was one witch in New Orleans that could negate every magical protection the Originals used tonight was…Esther Mikaelson.
When Finn Mikaelson entered their sanctuary he was pleasantly surprised to see that his mother was not resting on the bed anymore.
Instead, Esther Mikaelson now stood in front of the window, bathed in the soft moonlight, staring out into the night.
She was holding a white mourning dove and was gently caressing its feathers. The bird cooed softly.
Finn let out a sigh of relief. The body mother had possessed wasn't breaking apart anymore. She had regained her strength which meant that for now, they wouldn't have to start over by jumping into the bodies of other witches and possessing them until they'd quickly burn out.
The energy he stole from Caroline Forbes was only but a drop but was immediately channeled into his beloved mother. It would have to be enough. Should he prepare her correctly Caroline Forbes would eventually generate enough black magic to charge multiple covens of witches. He didn't know why yet but mother had felt it in her. Caroline was a prodigy. Another kind of abomination worse even than his bastard half brother Klaus. Klaus was a hybrid when he should not be but she was worse. She defied nature and just like his brother eventually she'd have to be sacrificed to bring back the natural order for things but until then the potential fury she harbored alone could generate all New Orleans with raw magic for generations.
If Klaus and Kol hadn't stepped in tonight he would have managed to store more power into his dark object and even get the girl and bring her here once she completely gave in to his magic but this would have been a reckless move.
Klaus and Kol would not leave a stone unturned to get her back and with the barrier mother had created, they were just as bound in New Orleans as Miss Forbes was.
Finn Mikaelson had been doubtful of the girl's fate but mother had been correct. Caroline Forbes was the harbinger of death as she carried the devil's mark and could sustain them for a long time and empower them. With Caroline, they'd be able to defeat his wretched brothers once and for all.
Alas, the magic he wanted to manipulate was unstable for now. He had to wait. Eventually, it would settle once Caroline completely gave in to the darkness.
Tonight could have been the first solid step towards that purpose unfortunately, Klaus had to intervene. He had taken Caroline away and Finn didn't know how he had managed to stop Caroline's spiral but the energy the girl emitted into his dark object shut down completely. She didn't radiate even a drop now.
How did his brother manage to negate his magic so effortlessly? What did he do?
He had used Klaus' interest with Caroline to distract the girl using their connection against her but it would seem as if their bond ran deeper than he could have predicted or anticipated. That could be a problem.
Mother had been right. They had to be careful and avoid any mistakes especially since both of his brothers had their eyes set on Caroline.
Klaus had cut off the link he had created and then there was Kol with his dark objects. Thanks to him there was nowhere in New Orleans they could turn to. Even possessing witches had become almost impossible since Kol had been using his objects to monitor all magic in New Orleans and shield all witches. And if Kol hadn't been at the ball tonight watching over Caroline like a hawk we would have managed to establish a stronger channel with the girl but it was impossible to be more aggressive in Kol's presence.
He had already taken a risk tonight and pushed further than he would have in any other case but he had to respect his mother's plan. Step by step they'd lead Caroline where they wanted but for that, they'd have to organize everything wisely and lure Klaus' pet into the darkness before they'd complete the link and bring her to them.
Esther walked towards the birdcage and locked the dove inside ensuring that the barrier that kept Caroline inside New Orleans would strengthen more.
His mother turned around and faced him with a smile.
"We have work to do, my son."
Klaus checked his phone and read the message Kol had left him.
"The waiter is going to be fine," Klaus promised her and turned the screen towards Caroline that read the message too with wary eyes, "Kol healed him. He sent him to his home, compelled and handsomely rewarded."
Caroline scowled at that.
"It's nothing to worry about love," Klaus tried to pacify her, "the boy is compensated for his troubles and he won't even remember how he made such a fortune overnight."
"As if that makes what I did okay," Caroline bitterly groused.
"He'll be fine love," Klaus mollified her and held her gaze keenly, "and so will you."
Caroline gave him a non-committal sound before she sighed and got up from the sofa.
"I should go."
Klaus seemed sad at the prospect of her leaving.
"Only if you really want to, love."
Caroline slanted him a look.
"Well," she pouted sadly staring down at the once beautiful gown, "the dress is ruined now…so I better stay out of sight."
Klaus chuckled as he put on his jacket.
Caroline flushed when she realized she had torn off the buttons from his shirt and now with his necklaces falling over his muscled lean chest and the open shirt under his jacket Klaus looked ruggedly handsome.
She found herself definitely checking him out and Klaus wasn't bothering to hide that he was returning the favor eyeing her dress and every inch of her body in an unabashedly sexy look that made her legs tremble and her body feel tight and hot.
"It does make quite a statement though," he purred and Caroline felt drawn at his alluring accent," and if you don't mind me saying you look lovely in red sweetheart," he drawled, his lips curling into a sensual smirk.
The glare she threw at him had him laughing.
A burst of deep laughter that was making her feel all out of sync.
Vampires were always horny right? It wasn't as if she was turning wanton for Klaus in particular. She just hadn't gotten laid for so long.
That had to be it.
She almost groaned at loud. She hoped she was a better liar than how she sounded inside her head because it was not as if she hadn't blood-shared with him only moments before.
And why did she stop?
She already knew Klaus was an incredible lover.
Her mind went straight into the gutter as she remembered all the things he had done to her that day in the woods when they had that remarkable scandalous sex that she often fantasized about when she was giving herself a treat with her fingers.
Her breath picked up and she felt tingles erupting all over her body.
Maybe it had been a mistake holding back.
The sound of Klaus playfully clearing his throat brought her back into the present and she almost stumbled back when she realized that he was watching her with a wicked smile as if he knew what she had been thinking about.
Damn it!
"May I offer another alternative?" Klaus proposed and despite her adult-rated thoughts Caroline couldn't help but snicker at the way his tone altered from horny because he found her hot bathed in blood into one of a gentleman.
"There are only but a few hours before dawn," Klaus observed, "and the balcony upstairs provides aside from solitude also a spectacular sunrise view. We can get there from the private staircase at the end of the hallway without anyone seeing us."
Caroline actually liked the sound of that but felt a bit unsure. She hated giving Klaus mixed signals and this night had been a rollercoaster so far. They were many things unresolved between them.
Maybe they should just call it a night. She had a lot of things to think about.
Klaus approached her carefully and took her hands in his.
"Whatever we said and…done tonight," he seriously said making her heart race a bit faster, "it's food for thought for both of us but we have time for that. Let's call a truce for tonight."
"Seems to be tonight's theme," Caroline mocked him referring to the treaty the Originals signed during the ball.
Klaus grinned at her mischievously. They both knew the treaty meant nothing but bait and pretext for what the Originals planned but while a truce for the city was a fever dream for them it could still be in their reach.
Caroline squeezed his hands and gave him a nod. They could watch the sunrise together and they'd take it from there.
Klaus' smile could only be described as majestic as he led her towards the doors of his study.
"Come on sweetheart," Klaus enticed her with a husky voice that made her shiver, "the night is still young and I am pretty sure there is at least one champagne bottle with our names on it."
Caroline arched a brow intrigued. She could definitely go for the champagne. It was after all their thing. Not that she'd ever admit this to Klaus which by the looks of it it didn't seem as if she'd had to.
It was their thing and they'd both knew it. And as of tonight they had more things they shared too.
Klaus had been right. This was indeed food for thought but it could wait for now.
So instead of focusing on the quality of their relationship, Caroline chose to joke about the quantity of the champagne.
"Bottle, ha?" she quipped and arched a brow at him. He better offer more than just a bottle. She'd lived in the Abattoir. He had seen his vast collection.
Klaus laughed and casually rested his hand on the small of her back leading her towards a back corridor that would allow them to sneak away. His laughter was contagious.
In the distance, she could hear voices from the few guests that still stayed and enjoyed the night despite how late it was.
Caroline gave Klaus the lead but kept throwing sidelong glances to make sure no one would see her like this when-
Her laughter abruptly died out.
Flashback
Caroline stopped walking and stood still.
She looked around but there was no one there. She felt a sense of danger enveloping her. She continued walking and she took out her phone. She furrowed her brow. No signal. The light from the screen of the phone started flickering.
She turned around again as she heard footsteps approaching but again there was nothing. She was ready to run away but as she turned a vervain grenade hit her face and she screamed and fell on the pavement. Her face was blistered and it burned. She could barely open her eyes.
When she opened them she hissed and her fangs dropped but the men around her sprayed her with vervain again and shot her with wooden bullets. Everything hurt so much. She howled in anguish. Pain brought a loud echo in her eardrums and whatever the men standing above her said seemed to reach her ears muted.
Slowly the sounds became clearer.
"Is that her?"
Her?
What was going on?
"Kill her! Now!"
"Why?" she whispered in pain and tried to get up when more vervain rained on her.
"You are not welcome here vampire!" a man spat and the next thing she felt was a sharp pain in her chest.
She looked down with wide eyes. Her attacker had pushed a wooden stake in her chest. In her heart. Numbness followed. Her skin started turning gray. She fell on the street feeling nothing. Death was claiming her and all she could think of was that she didn't want to die.
Not like this. Not all alone.
The world vanished. Time stopped.
She couldn't tear her eyes away.
She couldn't move.
She couldn't breathe.
Her body paralyzed.
Terror gripped her frozen body. There was a fog that wouldn't lift and broke her mind into pieces.
Caroline became very, very still.
Unnaturally still.
She felt it again. The stake tearing through flesh, muscle, and bone. The agonizing tightness. The overwhelming pain. An echo of fire. Her heart's last beat. She couldn't move.
Death.
The stillness of death.
Purgatory.
Caroline couldn't even blink.
She should move. She had to move. She had to.
She couldn't.
And yet even though she felt as if she couldn't move there was the other feeling that was just under the surface slowly bumbling up, rising, taking over her. Everything Kol taught her didn't matter. Nothing mattered. The lessons were gone. Her instincts were gone. She was back in her most horrific moments. She was back when she transitioned alone in the hospital not knowing what was happening to her. She was back when her father tortured her. Back when Damon abused her. Back when Klaus impaled her with a lamp post and bit her. Back when she hallucinated with venom in her veins. Back when her father died. Back when she died. All the heartache, the horror, the helplessness were back. Back in Purgatory where she was cast away along with the other monsters, sentenced to die over and over again.
Cast away…killed….murdered in cold blood…dead…dead and gone but not gone.
Killed…killed by-
The shuttering noise in her head covered every other noise. She was screaming in her head but silence had taken over her body.
It took all her willpower to not fall into pieces, to not lose her sense of reality, to focus. Only this couldn't be real. The stillness that came over her was now unraveling, her heartbeat was picking up pace. She had to muster the energy to breathe, to be, to keep her eyes sharp, to keep her mind clear only it wasn't clear. There was a loud noise there like a screech. A noise that came to a screeching halt as she was hanging by sanity's edge, now a red thin thread that was breaking away leaving only fraying ends that were threatening to break and then her lifeline would be gone and along with it so would she. Her mind had to be playing tricks on her.
Scream. She wanted to scream. But the silence was primordial.
She remained locked into the moment while past and present crashed together.
She remembered. She could never forget. She remembered death.
Impossible. This couldn't be real.
She felt the stake puncturing breastbone, going straight for the heart. Breaking through. The pain. The shock. The terror.
The realization.
Death was claiming her. She was turning to stone. Her skin to marble, her veins to ash.
She was staring death in the face. And he was holding the stake.
Pushing it in. Killing her. Sending her straight to hell.
And he…was here.
It was as if Klaus' voice was coming from somewhere far away. An echo strained as if it is coming through water, clearing the static of her mind.
He stood in front of her. Gently shook her. His body blocked her view.
Caroline blinked. She almost went slack against him and she would have if her body had not turned to a block of granite.
Klaus blocked the view of…him. She tried to move her head to the side. But she was still in a daze. All she felt was panic. The palpitations of her heart became an ongoing noise and soon she focused on that noise and let it ground her.
She let Klaus' voice ground her. Bring her back.
The abyss was still calling but she was not falling in it. She was climbing back up.
She looked up at Klaus' eyes that were filled with worry. He was talking but she couldn't focus.
She tried. She had to try.
"What's wrong love?" Klaus asked with concern. So much concern. So much worry.
It was that worry that actually made her snap out of the stillness.
Caroline pushed Klaus away and tried to get a clear view and then froze again. Shock finally registering into crude reality.
Klaus' eyes followed her terrified gaze. Past the column that hid them. Straight into the small crowd.
Only she wasn't looking at the crowd. She was looking at-
She gripped Klaus' arm, her nails digging in through fabric tearing into his flesh. Klaus didn't move but regarded her carefully.
He covered her hand with his. Gently. Offering her his support. Waiting for her to explain her behavior. Her fear. Her irrational reaction. Her breakdown.
Only she wasn't breaking down anymore.
She was not seeing a ghost. She was not losing her mind. This wasn't her bloodlust. This wasn't like before when she attacked the waiter. This wasn't magic or her trauma or her imagination.
This was real.
Fury, pain, and horror shot through her system like an injection of adrenaline.
"That man," she got out with difficulty and pointed at the tall man in the middle of the crowd. Klaus nodded waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath. This wasn't a figment of her imagination. This was real. Klaus saw him too.
"I know him," she whispered unable to stop the shiver that made her wince. Unsettling tension burst out of her. A ferocity she had never felt before. In waves. In a flood. Stronger than any kind of bloodlust she had ever felt. It called for retribution.
Klaus frowned at her reaction. He stared at the man that socialized with other guests holding a drink and talking politely. Caroline gripped his arm harder.
"You must have seen him around the city."
"No," she hissed, "From before. I know him from," she couldn't breathe, "Whitmore."
Klaus' eyes sharpened. There was something in her tone that could not be misinterpreted. She could tell Klaus couldn't connect the pieces yet but she had his full attention now. He was probably worried that her bloodlust was still messing with her mind but her mind was now clear. The only thing that affected it was the blind rage that was starting to build up.
"He is a prominent member of the Human Faction of New Orleans sweetheart," Klaus mentioned thoughtfully and she stared up at him in surprise before she returned her gaze back to the man. She glared, her vision becoming a black tunnel, her instincts taking over. This time she didn't lose control though. This time she let it all out. She had no other choice than to do so. There were no blurred lines. There was no dichotomy between the monster inside her and her. This was all her. Every part of her. Every part of her that had died that day. That had suffered in Purgatory. That had been sent to hell.
Klaus had been right. The girl she used to be had died. Someone had killed her. And maybe the reason as to why she hadn't been able to move on was because justice for the crime that had been committed against her hadn't been served.
Her soul would not rest until it did.
Veins puffed under her eyes momentarily. She was ready to strike.
"Are you sure you know him?" Klaus wondered and this time the rage that flared up in Caroline was enough to shake even Klaus to the core.
She felt how Klaus' stance changed too. He smelled the danger. The upcoming storm. It poured out from every pore of her body and Klaus responded to that. His body too got into warrior mode and he viewed at the man with eyes that had turned to slits.
Darkness took over Caroline's features. Everything in her hardened. Turned to stone.
Turned to vengeance.
"I would never forget the man who killed me, Klaus."
End of Part I of Purgatory
