Konoha Skyline: Now With Giant Monsters


The Reaper Death Seal.

Do not fuck around with this thing.

Seriously.

The moment the Uzumaki showed me this thing I was like 'damn you genuinely got this to work what is wrong with you, like how did you test this.'

Tobirama is now telling me to be more concise.

Ahem.

-The Reaper Death Seal or 'dead demon consuming seal' is a sealing technique developed the Uzumaki clan that allows you to summon the Literal Grim Reaper.

-It's important to note that using this technique requires you to sacrifice your soul to the Reaper, which is a pretty fucking steep price, making it a suicide jutsu.

-After summoning the Reaper, the user must successfully grapple their target to bring the effects of the jutsu to bear. At this point the Reaper will become visible to the target and they will be rendered almost completely immobile.

-If the user dies before successfully carrying out their objective, the jutsu predictably fails.

-The primary use of this jutsu is to have the Reaper consume the target's soul, in an almost unstoppable instant kill. However, the Reaper can also be used for other incredibly powerful sealing techniques, such as removing access to limbs, limiting the target's power, or even meddling with the chakra of the bijuu. (Note to self, ask Lady Mito some questions.) It says here 'limits not found' so, you know.

-After the user's soul is forfeit, they may target additional nonsentients such as shadow clones, physical objects, or Edo Tensei summons (Note to self, ask Tobirama some questions.) However, only one true life may be sealed successfully.

-All lives forfeit to the Reaper will be sealed in the belly of the Reaper for eternal torment. From there they will be inaccessible to the Edo Tensei unless the Reaper Release Mask (located in the private Uzumaki clan vaults) is used in a ritual that sacrifices another soul. But come on, when is that ever going to be important?

-Official Statement from Hokage Senju Hashirama, on storing this technique in the 'Don't Fuck With These' Scroll.


Orochimaru grimaced, and twitched his fingers.

Sarutobi winced, and tugged.

"How long is it going to take you to die?" The snake Sannin hissed.

"How long is it going to take you to lose your soul?" The Hokage growled.

Both paused.

"It's going to be like five episodes isn't it?"

"Oh yeah, at least five."


"Since when could he do that?"

"I Don't Know!"

Sasuke piggybacking, Naruto sprinted through the forest. Behind them, the forest was rapidly disintegrating. Towering above the treeline was Shukaku, it's giant sand avatar roaring triumphantly as it batted aside the surrounding flora and chased after the fleeing genin. Gaara was barely visible as a speck, sprouting from it's forehead.

"We need to stop it." Sasuke told Naruto.

"I know!"

"We're leading it right to Konoha!"

"I know!"

"Naruto!"

"What?"

"You're doing the demon voice thing again!"

"I..." Naruto grimaced, then shook his head. "Sorry. Shukaku being fully awake has really riled the Kyuubi up, and I just," his voice turned to a whine. "I've just had a really tough couple days, alright?"

He jumped, managing to stay above a tsunami of sand that smashed the trees below his feet.

"Maybe..." Sasuke hedged. "Maybe we should try letting out the Kyuubi?"

"What?"

"Just a little!" Sasuke held his hands up defensively, then immediately dropped them back to Naruto's shoulders. "It really helped back on the bridge!"

"We really do not need more giant monsters walking around," Naruto countered. Then he paused. "Actually...maybe we do."

"What?"

Naruto kicked off the next tree and skidded to a stop on the ground, dropping off Sasuke and biting one finger enough to draw blood. Alright mister nine-tails. You've been trying to let out your chakra all day. This is your chance, so don't you dare hold back on me now!

The internal challenge was met with a gigantic burst of energy, and his eyes widened as red chakra flooded his system. He slammed his bloodied palm to the ground. "Summoning jutsu!"

There was a boom.

A massive plume of smoke billowed up from the forest floor, scattering nearby trees and sand. Shukaku turned to glare at the new threat.

Naruto waved away the smoke to find himself stood on the head of a very large red toad. He grinned, turning towards Shukaku, then frowned. Red skin? He looked down. "Gamaken?" He shouted, looking in shock at the toad summon.

"Naruto! What is this?!" Next to him, Sasuke was stood on top of the head of a different toad entirely, this one aquamarine coloured.

"Gamahiro?" Naruto looked at that one, blankly.

"Well met, Naruto!" The toad beneath him rumbled. "You trust us to take down this big sandy menace? We'll do our best!"

"Waitwaitwait." Naruto held up a hand. "Thanks, guys, really, but...where the hell is Gamabunta?"


"Mwahaha! I am the toad Sage, Jiraiya! Snakes and traitors, fear me! Leaf ninja and ~ladies~, rally behind me! Let's take back our village!"

Beneath Jiraiya, Gamabunta jumped, swinging his sword and decapitating one of the giant snakes. It was obvious Orochimaru was involved, nobody else had enough clout with the snakes to summon this many big ones. And they were big; the three remaining were towering over Konoha's buildings and destroying everything they saw.

"Doing good down there, Gamabunta?" Jiraiya called to his summon.

"Havin' the time o' my life, Jiraiya! Ha ha! Huh?" Gamabunta paused and turned his head. Off in the distance, three other massive figures were clashing in Konoha's forest. "Gamahiro? Gamaken?" Gamabunta's eyes were wide. "Who summoned them? And what is Shukaku doing awake?"

"Naruto." Jiraiya muttered. "What have you gotten up to?"


Sai was in trouble.

He constructed a new set of paper shuriken and threw them, but Temari blew them all straight back. When she was recovering from the move he darted in with his sword, but was intercepted by Kankuro's puppet. Stabbing it in the chest did nothing, and it caught his attempt to behead it. Then a spike emerged from its mouth, and he was forced to leap backwards, at which point another gust from Temari's fan caught him and threw him into a tree.

He had expected to face at best two chunin level opponents. He'd been ready for that. But Kankuro and Temari had been trained from young ages to protect-slash-suppress a jinchurikki.

Chunin level is an underestimation. They could have passed these exams years ago.

Their teamwork was also a deciding factor; the sand siblings were incredibly synchronised. Temari could deflect all his projectiles, Kankuro's puppet could counter his ink creatures. Sai's biggest, a large humanoid summon, performed well against the puppet. But Temari had turned the wind sharp, and repeatedly torn into the homunculus. Now it was tattered, and could barely walk.

"May I advise you both surrender?" Sai offered.

Temari snorted. "Nope. Hey, you're one of those asshats that works for Danzo, right? Isn't he our inside guy? Why are you attacking us?"

"Destabilising the village and killing the Hokage was the primary goal." Sai explained. "One secondary was to capture the one-tails, possibly extracting it and putting it in someone loyal to leaf."

"That treacherous motherfucker." Kankuro said, almost appreciatively.

Sai saw an opportunity to emotionally destabilise them. "And besides, it's not even the Kazekage my master is consorting with."

"You what?" Temari blinked.

"You've been following the orders of a dangerous missing-nin." Sai smiled. "Orochimaru had your father killed three months ago. Strange, that even his children couldn't even recognise his doppelgänger."

It got to them. Both froze, and exchanged glances. That was when Sai struck. He darted at Kankuro at top speed, swinging his sword for the boy's neck. Their disorientation only bought him a moment, but that time was significant for a ninja. Temari swung her fan, and the wind was able to catch him before he reached her brother, so he was forced to re-angle his strike, drawing his blade across Kankuro's face rather than his throat. The puppet-master howled.

Sai landed on (crashed into) another tree, then grunted, as he realised the girl had slipped some sharpened wind into her attack. There was blood on his chest.

"That's it." Temari growled. "Now you're dead. Try going for either of my brothers again, and see where it gets you!"

"Sis?" Checked Kankuro, hands on his face, covering his wound. His voice was remarkably calm. "Imma need you to point me at him."

"Listen for the sounds of dying Root members." She told him. "And send your puppet there."

Sai readied himself. He had been careless, and would be slower now, while she was angry. That could be used against her if she was careless, but Kankuro hadn't been taken out of the fight like he had hoped, so their teamwork was still intact. He considered retreating, and hoping that Naruto and Sasuke had successfully apprehended the jinchurikki.

Fortunately, he didn't have to. There was a flash, and Temari's next wave of cutting wind collided harmlessly onto a sheet of blue ice.


Haku dropped down from the sky and manifested a slope of ice beneath himself, skidding downwards until he had shed enough of his momentum to safely stop.

"Sorry to interrupt." He began, fishing senbon from his sleeves. "But I figured if there was a fight occurring I should lend a...hand..." He paused and looked across at the Konoha genin, a pale boy with dark hair and clothing that revealed a distracting amount of midriff. "...hello~" He said, smiling slyly.

"...Hello." Said the boy, looking him up and down. "I'm trying to apprehend these two; they're the children of the Kazekage."

"High priority targets. Nice." Haku dispelled his ice wall, revealing an angry but wary looking Temari. "Where are Naruto and Sasuke?"

"Up ahead, fighting the third child." Sai told her. "I have to ask; how exactly did you get here?"

Haku grinned and looked up. "I hitched a ride."


"Stop enjoying this! Stop enjoying this!"

"AHAHAHAHA! I'm on a massive fucking frog!"

"Toad!"

Sasuke and Gamahiro were apparently having a whale of a time. He had anchored his legs to the head of the blue toad and was generally just enjoying the ride; as his mount jumped around swung its oversized swords all over the place.

The last time Naruto had ridden a toad it had been Gamabunta in the dark and the toad had been drunk and he had come close to being sick, so he was a little less enthusiastic. Or the giant sand tanooki wearing Gaara as a headpiece might be the thing dampening his mood; hard to say.

"Water bullet!" Declared Gamaken, launching his jutsu just as Gamahiro made another slashing attempt. The water blast cancelled out Shukaku's own air attack, giving Gamahiro an opening to completely lop off his arm. The sand that made it up fell to the ground with a thump, and a new limb almost immediately grew in its place. Shukaku then used it to sock Gamahiro in the face, sending him crashing backwards through the trees.

"Are we hurting it?" Naruto asked Gamaken.

"The sand avatar's just temporary," Groused the toad. "And he's got more chakra than both of us and Gamabunta combined. We're doing nothing."

"Then what can we do?" Naruto asked, exasperated.

"Kill the jinchurikki." The frog deadpanned.

"What?"

"Or just wake him up, that'd probably work."

"Alright, how do we do that?"

"Hell if I know!" Gamaken shouted, before jumping away from another air bullet. "I'll try and get you close!" He charged in again.

If anything, Shukaku had gotten bigger since the start of the fight, though Naruto didn't really have much to scale it against. Gamahiro was forced to jump to get towards its face; which put him in a terrible position. Shukaku snapped forwards at the blue toad, biting down on his throat eliciting a cry of pain.

Gamahiro desummoned.

"Now's our chance!" Gamaken shouted, jumping up while Shukaku was still clearing the smoke from his face. Naruto tensed, ready to jump up to Gaara's unconscious form. Then he spotted a black shape falling in front of the sand.

"Sasuke!" He shouted, then immediately jumped down towards his friend. Angling his body towards the profusely swearing genin, he was able to catch him halfway to the floor.

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, "You absolute maniac now we're both falling!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but at least I can-"

There was a blur, and they were both caught up in a red hand.

"You're both crazy!" Declared the toad-

But his impromptu rescue put him in a terrible position. Shukaku spun in place, and batted Gamaken with his tail, sending him flying across the forest, Naruto and Sasuke wth him.

The toad crashed amongst the trees with a groan, opening his fist to reveal the humans inside. "You okay?" He asked.

"We're fine!" Naruto shouted back. "You?"

"Terrible." Gamaken tried to sit up, but failed. "If he hits me with anything else, I'll desummon."

Across the forest, Shukaku fell forwards until he was on all fours. His mouth opened, and red and blue motes of light appeared there.

"Yeah, that'd do it." Gamaken growled. "Bijuu bomb."

"What's a-" Naruto paused. "Okay the Kyuubi does not want to get hit by that we need to move."

"I can't." Gamaken grimaced. "You'll have to jump. Go!"

In Shukaku's mouth, the light collected to form a purple sphere of condensed energy. Naruto picked up Sasuke ("I'm getting real sick of this!" "Yeah me too!") and started running across Gamaken's arm.

Shukaku fired the bijuu-bomb.

Naruto jumped.

There was a bird-like screech.

The purple orb tore across the forest, destroying everything in its path, and it was so massive that it looked like Naruto and Sasuke were going to be caught in it before they could land and escape into the forest. That was when both heard a very familiar voice from behind them.

Riding in on the back of an owl summon, white eyes glinting, Hinata reached out a hand and snagged the pair out of the sky, dropping them on the back of the bird with her. "Need a lift?" She asked, casually.

The bijuu bomb went straight through Gamaken, immediately desummoning him. It didn't even explode yet, which was good, as it allowed Hinata's summon to flap desperately and pull her up above the curve of the murder-sphere.

"Hinata?" Naruto gaped. "What are-how did you-what?"

"Bird." She explained, succinctly. "I dropped Haku off in the forest, he should be taking out Temari and Kankuro now. Naruto I..." she turned around to face him. He winced a little, recalling how their last conversation had gone. Then she dropped into a kowtow. "I'm so sorry." She said.

He blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry." She repeated, not looking up. (Chakra made it easy enough to maintain a bow while riding a ten foot owl.) "I didn't mean to say what I said, it was a misunderstanding, but that doesn't matter because I still hurt your feelings and I was too scared to come talk to you about it because I almost killed Sasuke an hour earlier and I didn't trust myself not to hurt you and-" she paused for breath.

"Hinata-"

"I'm just so sorry." She finished.

Naruto just looked at her for a moment. Then he sighed. "Hinata, it's okay."

She still didn't lift from the bow. "It...but-"

"It was dumb of me to think you would suddenly start hating me because I'm a jinchurikki when you already knew it," he scratched the back of his head. "So that was kinda my fault-but I know you don't like it when I blame myself!" He added, hurriedly, before she could say something. "So how about we just say that I'm sorry, you're sorry, and everyone forgives everyone else?"

He squatted down until he was at her level, and pulled her chin up so he could see her face. "I mean, come on. Friends do stuff like that, and we're friends, aren't we?"

She stared at him, tears in her eyes. Then something very strange happened.

Hinata laughed.

She fell backwards onto her haunches and crossed her arms over her stomach, breaking out into a fit of giggling. It was euphoric, slightly crazy, and frankly the most adorable thing Naruto had ever seen. He didn't have any time to say anything before she had thrown herself forwards, wrapping him up in a full body hug, burying her head in his shoulder.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Um." He blinked. He looked across at Sasuke and mouthed what?

I don't know! Sasuke gestured back.

"I...guess this means I made you smile, right?" Naruto finished. It was the only thing he could think to say.

"I guess so." She whispered back.

"As much as I hate to interrupt your moment." The owl they were riding on spoke up. "May I remind you all that we are being ATTACKED BY A BIJUU? I'VE BEEN EVADING IT FOR TWO MINUTES!"

Naruto and Hinata quickly broke apart, blushing.

Beneath them all Shukaku roared, the fight music started playing, and everyone jolted back into action.

"Right, got it." Naruto clapped his hands together. "Team is back together baby! WOO, New plan! Mister bird, fly towards the big murder sand monster!"

"Do as he says." Hinata instructed, acting as though nothing had happened and walking forwards to crouch by the owl's head.

Sasuke dropped down beside her as the owl fell into a steep dive. "Just so you know, I forgive you for trying to kill me because I was also trying to kill you and we were both being manipulated."

"Thank you." Hinata replied, in a surprisingly genuine tone of voice. "Thanks for betraying your entire clan rather than killing me."

"No problem." He replied, conversationally. "So do we actually have a plan?"

"Sure we do!" Naruto shouted over the steadily rising wind, the owl plummeting towards Shukaku. "Sasuke! Fireballs in it's face, blind it!"

"On it!" Sasuke replied, then began running through the great fireball hand seals.

"Hinata!" Naruto turned to her. "Fly the owl and look cute!"

"I-what-"

"And as for me," Naruto shrugged. "Well, since I can't do anything else." He leaned backwards and kicked off the owl.

Hinata shouted his name but he had already gone, diving straight towards Shukaku's head. Sasuke had already started bombarding the monster's eyes with fireballs, leaving it blind and Naruto with a straight shot at Gaara on its forehead. Or he would have, if he hadn't mistimed his jump. He had overshot. Son of a-

Hell no. I'm done being a screwup! I made a dramatic speech and everything!

He reached out towards Gaara, reaching for the power that had cropped up a matter of minutes earlier. It responded. Blue-yellow chains manifested around his arms and blasted forwards, burying themselves in the sand of Shukaku's forehead. He fell past, and the chains went taut, almost jerking his arms out of his sockets as they began to convert his downwards momentum into lateral speed. The chains seemed to damage Shukaku's control over the sand; as Naruto began to swing, they began to cut through the sand that made up the side of the bijuu's face, then it's neck...

His arc turned vertical again and the chains disappeared, as the best part of Shukaku's face disintegrated, cut off from the rest of its body. Naruto quickly summoned another shadow clone in mid air, then kicked off it, using the momentum to throw himself towards Shukaku's rapidly reforming head. He landed on the sand, stumbled, caught himself, then threw himself up the slope towards Gaara's limp, unconscious upper body. The grains swirled around his feet, trying to suck him in with every step he took.

"I get it you've been through a lot lately." Naruto panted. "But this is not." He took another step. "The time." And another. "For a nap!" He burst free of the sand and lunged for Gaara.

He was feeling diplomatic, so he punched him in the face.

Gaara's head rocked back (it had been a harder punch than Naruto had intended) and his eyes snapped open, darting around wildly. "Naruto?" He whispered.

Beneath them, Shukaku roared.

"NO! Don't put me back! Don't you dare!"

But it was too late for the bijuu. Gaara was awake and kicking, literally, fighting to free himself of the sand around his lower body. The avatar was crumbling, Shukaku's newly reformed face practically melting as his body fell to the earth, swamping the surrounding forest in a small tsunami of sand.

All that was left was a large owl flapping in the air.

"...Do you think he can actually function without being so dramtic?" Sasuke remarked.


Atop the mound of sand, the fight continued in a much more primitive manner.

"DIE!" Gaara screamed, voice hoarse, swinging punch after punch like a man (still) possessed.

Naruto blocked them all impassively. Gaara had clearly been relying on the protection of the sand around him all his life; his taijutsu was nonexistent.

"I have to kill you!" Gaara continued. "You have to die!"

"Why?" Naruto asked, still blocking.

"You MUST!" Gaara spat at him, panting. Turns out he was also incredibly unfit, for a ninja. "You must give...my life...meaning!"

Tired of the farce, Naruto caught the next punch, and the next, so he held both of Gaara's fists in his. Then he fell forwards and enveloped his fellow jinchurikki in a hug.

Gaara struggled for a moment, them went limp.

"Kill me." He whispered.

"I am getting real sick of people asking me that." Naruto sighed. "Look, this may sound crazy, so bear with me, but you could always...not? Define your existence with murder?"

"But I'm a monster." Gaara tensed.

"You have a monster in you." Naruto corrected. "Not the same thing. You can tell, because I haven't tried to destroy the leaf village."

"How can you possibly control it so well?" Gaara asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Way I see it, the Kyubi isn't a curse. It's my tenant. It stays quiet, doesn't make a mess, and sometimes? I make it pay rent." Naruto paused. "Oh damn I'm saving that line for later that was amazing."

"I have tried." Gaara told him. "I have tried kindness. No matter what I do, any attempt is met with fear, and hate."

"Pretty sure Temari liked the fox you got her." Naruto pointed out. "Look. At the end of the day, you can either go on murdering as a pastime and being...just...sad. Or you can actually try. Be nice, and keep being nice until people are nice back. Be happy. Worked for me!"

Gaara straightened. Naruto released the hug and stepped back, cautiously.

Some of the sand from around them flew up into the air, pulling together and reshaping into the gourd Gaara always carried. It affixed itself to his back, and some more sand flowed into it until it was full.

"As heir apparent to the Kazekage," He said, looking for all the world like nothing had happened. "I issue a formal, unconditional surrender." He paused. "I think...I would like to go and see my family now."


And with that, the Konoha Crush comes to a close. Team Seven sorts out all the chaos these exams have caused them, Hinata passes the 'allowed to smile' milestone (seriously though, making sure I never accidentally made her smile up until now was an ass) and Gaara is defeated with Naruto's signature Talk no Jutsu. Haku is still hella gay, and Danzo is still an asshole.

Next chapter, the aftermaths. And there's gonna be a whole lot of aftermath after all this.