That fateful night

Warning! This chapter is going to be quite disturbing so please be prepared – it has been really difficult to write but I have tried to minimise it.

James hadn't known what to think about what he'd just discovered. Had Rose agreed to marry him because of it? Maybe he should have let her explain before he'd stormed out? He thought he'd go for a drive and stop off at a service station and get her some flowers and chocolates and leave them at the bottom of the bed on the velvet covered stool she had left there.

He knew there was a garage on the way to work that was open 24 hours so he set off, hoping Rose or Jamie wouldn't hear him start the car but he was still quite angry about his discovery, even though he'd had time to calm down a bit. So Rose had been hiding it all that time had she? He had felt genuinely sorry for her when Alec had deserted her and pleased she had agreed to let him be her friend.

Now, he still didn't know what had been going through her mind when she'd accepted his help and suggestion they tell everyone apart from her mother that the baby was his. How had he not noticed that Jamie was a little like himself when he was the same age? Rose wasn't likely to admit it, was she?

He was so busy trying to sort out his feelings he had forgotten the sharp bend in the road as he headed towards the underpass that led to where the garage was. He had passed a couple that were already closed or had just window service, he hadn't wanted any fuel for the car and he thought it would seem a little odd he was asking for those items at eleven at night. He was just looking at the clock when he realised where he was but as he took the bend, he miscalculated.

Rose still had tears in her eyes as she checked on Jamie. Being at the back of the house, she hadn't heard James start the car and drive off slowly. She got into bed, hoping he'd just go for a short walk or maybe try his luck that Donna was still up and he'd complain to her that she'd been keeping secrets from him. Would he tell Donna what they were though?

She was sure Donna would have seen Alec when he used to collect her from work though. How had her friend not seen the likeness? Maybe she had but hadn't wanted to upset James? The next thing Rose knew was she heard loud knocking on the front door, which they hardly used and the doorbell ringing. Then she was sure there was also knocking on the kitchen door and she got up to look out of the window, thinking James had forgotten to take his keys with him.

Instead of James or his car, she saw a police car and an officer looking up at the window and a feeling of dread came over her. She put her dressing gown on after putting the lamp on and opened the bedroom door.

"What's that noise Mum?" a sleepy Jamie called out as he stood in his doorway.

"Nothing sweetheart, go back to bed," Rose told him calmly.

"Where's dad?" he wanted to know.

"I think he went out for something," Rose tried to tell the boy.

"Mum, it's after one," Jamie tried to smile at her.

"Then let me go see what it is then," Rose replied, trying not to upset him.

She carefully went downstairs and picked up the key they left on a hook on the hallway dresser and opened the door, leaving the chain on.

"Are you Rose Noble?" a tall policeman asked her, Rose seeing a female officer behind him, who stepped up to the door.

"Rose, may we come inside?" the WPC smiled at her after frowning at the male officer.

The two of them had argued about how they were going to approach this when they had been given the task of collecting Rose and her son after what had happened just short of two hours previously.

"Go easy on her Sarge," WPC Burns had tried to tell him.

"There's no easy way to tell the poor woman," the sergeant had tried to tell her. "You'd be best going upstairs with her and letting her get dressed, if she's in bed."

"She probably will be Sarge. I mean she'll have to be up early to take their son to school. Where are we going to begin to tell her?"

"Just stay calm Burns," the sergeant advised her as they'd turned into the road where Rose lived.

So Rose invited them into the hallway then through to the kitchen, the dreaded feeling not going away.

"What's wrong officers?" Rose wanted to know as she put the kitchen light on. "Is it James? Is he in some kind of trouble?"

The WPC took Rose's arm and guided her to sit on a chair at the table.

"Rose, when did you last see him?" she wanted to know, hoping Rose wouldn't scream at them.

They had been given a positive ID when James had been discovered by a passing motorist who had called the police right away and an ambulance and had even stayed at the scene, which the WPC thought was rare these days.

"Around eleven. He went out for a walk, he wasn't tired," Rose thought was the best thing to say rather than he'd stormed out.

"Rose, he was driving his car," the WPC pulled another chair up to sit opposite and took her hands. "Rose, we are so sorry to tell you that there was an accident."

"What?" a confused Rose asked, looking at one officer then the other. "He didn't take the car. Hang on, he just said he was going out. Sorry, I'm a bit confused," Rose tried to bluff.

All kinds of things were running through her mind at this point. Had James gone for a drive instead? She wouldn't have heard him set off. She got up suddenly and went to the kitchen drawer where they kept their car keys, seeing his set were missing.

"If you have two cars, one's missing," the WPC told her.

"I didn't know he'd taken his," Rose told her. "Is he in trouble for speeding or something?" she asked, it not sinking it what she'd just been told.

"We don't know if he was or not," the sergeant admitted. "We were called out at 11.20pm when someone found your husband's car."

"What?" Rose asked again, trying to wake up. "Where was that?"

"Just near the underpass," the WPC told her, hoping there was only one since she wasn't that familiar with the area.

"That's a good few miles away," Rose told them. "What was he doing all the way out there?"

"Rose, we need you to wake your son, get dressed and come with us," the WPC replied.

"What for? Can't ya just tell me if he's in trouble or not? He'd not been drinking," Rose tried to tell them.

"I'm afraid it's a lot more serious than that," the sergeant admitted, not being known for being tactful.

"I'll come upstairs and you can tell your son to get dressed," the WPC suggested. "How old is he?"

"Hang on. How do ya know we have a son?" Rose suddenly wanted to know as she got up again.

"We'll explain it all when you've got dressed," the WPC suggested.

Rose was followed upstairs and she knocked on Jamie's door.

"Come on Jamie, we have to go with these police officers," Rose told him.

"Why Mum?" poor Jamie yawned again.

"Jamie," the WPC addressed him. "Just do as your mum asks eh?"

"Jamie we have to go out," Rose told him. "There are two police officers here."

"I'll just be out here," the WPC called as Rose went inside Jamie's bedroom.

"Sweetheart, I think something's happened to your dad," Rose told him, trying to hold the tears back and pulling him towards her.

"Why isn't he with you?" Jamie wanted to know.

"He went out Jamie, I don't know why, he just did," she tried to explain. "Just get dressed."

Rose glanced at the WPC as she crossed to her room.

"Can't ya tell me more?" Rose asked her.

"It's best we wait," the WPC replied, not fancying doing it on her own.

They had arrived at the scene the same time as the ambulance but they already knew it would be bad. Other officers had searched the wreck of the car and found James's documents and a photo of him with Rose and Jamie. That was what had made her sad.

"Is there anyone you want us to call?" the WPC asked Rose as she emerged from her bedroom.

"Um, his cousin, Donna and my mum," Rose tried to think straight. "My mum's miles away though."

"Even so, it's best someone's notified," WPC Burns told her, thinking a couple of phone calls before they set off for the hospital wouldn't take that long and it was already too late anyway.

"For heaven's sake, who's calling at this time of night?" Donna's mother had wanted to know as the phone downstairs was ringing. "Donna, are you going to answer it?"

"Mum. I told ya to get one of the portable ones," Donna objected to being woken and had been trying to ignore the ringing. "It's probably someone with a wrong number wanting a taxi or a pizza."

"Well they'll keep trying if you don't answer," her mother insisted.

Donna got downstairs as Rose was about to give up, Donna wishing her mother would get a more modern phone.

"This had better be good, whoever you are," Donna answered.

"It's Rose," Rose tried to remain calm as she could. "Donna, the police are here, about James."

"What?" Donna asked in disbelief, thinking her ears were full of wax. "Say that again."

The WPC offered to take the phone from Rose.

"It's WPC Burns from Chiswick police station. Donna is it?"

"Yeah. What's going on?" Donna wanted to know as her mother stood at the top of the stairs. "Mum, it's about James," Donna went all serious.

This was the part the WPC dreaded the most – telling family of what had happened to their loved ones.

"Do you want to meet us at the hospital?" the WPC suggested to Donna.

"Yeah, I'll phone for a cab, I can't drive after what I've just been told," Donna agreed, her mother now being comforted by her dad.

"They've got it wrong," Sylvia was insisting as Donna's dad tried to get her into the living room.

"It doesn't sound like it," she was told. "Let Donna go and meet Rose eh?" her husband suggested.

"What's this going to do to poor Rose and Jamie?" Sylvia sobbed, trying to dry her eyes.

"I'll call from the hospital Dad," Donna told him before she went back upstairs. "Just pray they can do something there."

"It'll be too late," her dad tried to tell her. "I mean it sounded bad enough," he corrected himself.

"That WPC wasn't entirely sure," Donna told her. "They let the ambulance go off and went straight to see Rose. At least they went to see her and didn't phone her. Are ya phoning granddad?"

"You know the warden at the complex won't be happy," her mother told her.

"Well tough, it's an emergency," Donna told her. "He should know."

"I'll try love," her dad suggested. "Just call a cab first though."

Rose was trying to explain to her mother.

"No Mum, it's too far," Rose was trying to convince Jackie.

"But ya need someone with ya," Jackie was insisting.

"Donna's meeting us there Mum," Rose told her. "I'll call if there's any more news."

"Well if ya sure?" Jackie replied. "What the hell was he doing out Rose?"

"Mum, I didn't know he was going out in the car," Rose replied. "I was all muddled up earlier. I gotta go now, I'll talk to ya later Mum."

"Is gran meeting us there?" Jamie yawned.

"No sweetheart, ya know how far away she lives," Rose told him, putting her arm around him after she'd picked up her phone and keys. "I should maybe have called Donna on her mobile?" she tried to smile.

"Don't worry about it," the WPC smiled back as she turned the kitchen light out as the male officer unlocked the kitchen door.

"You both have cars?" he asked Rose.

"Yeah, I don't use mine much though but it's easier if I have to go somewhere," Rose explained as they stepped outside.

They rode in silence to the hospital and walked into the emergency department. The male officer spoke to the woman behind the glass partition in the entrance and they were directed to a waiting area.

"We'll stay here until someone meets you," the WPC told her. "We're so sorry Rose but if there's any news, someone will come out and tell you when they have any, they know you're here now."

"Thanks for bringing us," Rose replied, tears in her eyes again.

Donna arrived and ran towards where Rose and Jamie were sitting, just in front of the police officers.

"Rose! Any news yet?" Donna asked as Rose got up to hug her friend.

"No, nothing yet but we've not been here long. My mum wanted to come but it's a long way," Rose told her.

They all waited for any news but Rose had this dreaded feeling and couldn't shake it off. She was right to be worried as a surgeon wearing green came out of a room down the corridor.

"Rose Noble?" he addressed both Rose and Donna.

"That's me," Rose spoke up as she held onto a sleeping Jamie.

The surgeon went to the row of chairs in front of them and saw Jamie was asleep.

"We tried everything but there was a lot of damage done in the accident," he started to explain.

"We weren't told much," Rose replied, a lump in her throat.

"I'm sure the police will explain it to you in more detail in the morning?" the surgeon suggested. "I am so sorry we couldn't do more for your husband."

"Can I see him?" Rose dared ask.

"He's still in the operating room, he'll be moved shortly, then you can see him," the surgeon replied. "There was a lot of internal bleeding we weren't able to stop, as well as all the other factors which caused him not to recover."

"Was he alive when he was brought in?" Donna wanted to know, since her mother would ask when she was told the news.

The surgeon stood up.

"Barely. I believe he was in the car for a while before he was discovered but he was unconscious, he wouldn't have known anything. I know it's not much consolation?" the surgeon told them.

"It's all my fault," Rose turned to Donna with tears running down her face.

"Don't say that," Donna urged her. "He chose to go out."

Then Rose realised she could never tell Donna or anyone else the real reason he had gone out.

"You're just upset," Donna continued, going to sit at the other side of Jamie. "You go see James, I'll stay with Jamie."

"This way then," the surgeon had waited for her, seeing they were both upset.

"Was that his sister?" the surgeon asked Rose as they walked down the corridor.

"No, his cousin," Rose replied. "How bad was James injured?"

"I'm so sorry you weren't told much but I'm sure it will be clearer in the morning," the surgeon told her as he led her a bit further down and stood outside a door. "Are you sure about seeing him?"

"Yeah, I have to," Rose answered him, trying to wipe her tears.

She ran back out of the room down towards Donna, having seen James and it being too much after all. Donna stood up to comfort her.

"I'll have to ring my mum," Rose tried to recover.

"Here, give me your phone," Donna suggested as Jamie stirred. "Then I'll call mine, I forgot my mobile. Why didn't the police call it?"

"It was me Donna, I wasn't thinking straight," Rose admitted as she sat where Donna had been. "Do ya think the police will come back? Maybe we can share a taxi with you, save us calling for two?" she suggested.

"Yeah. Oh, hi Jackie, it's Donna," she told Jackie as she said Rose's name before Donna could say anything. "They couldn't save him."

Jackie stumbled backwards and sat on the arm of the sofa, recalling how both Alec and James used it all the time.

"How's Rose taken it?" Jackie wanted to know. "Does Jamie know?"

"Not yet, he's gone back to sleep. That boy can sleep anywhere," Donna tried to joke. "I've got to call my parents as well, the police have already left. I'll drop Rose and Jamie off in a taxi first. I expect she'll find out more in the morning. I'll have to call the store early and tell them I won't be in for a few days, Rose will need some help with everything though knowing James, he will have taken care of things."

Donna broke the news to her parents, who had called the warden in the complex Sylvia's father had tried to settle in after he'd been forced to move so she thought maybe it would be better telling him in the morning, not that anyone was going to be able to go back to sleep. Well maybe with the exception of Jamie, who as Donna already knew could sleep anywhere.

It was a sorrowful few days, Rose trying to come to terms with what had happened and them trying to explain it to Jamie. Rose still had to tell him that James wasn't his real father but she had to put it off for the time being. She couldn't tell anyone, not even her mother the reason why James had gone out late that fateful night.

There had been a formal inquest into what had happened but the coroner had determined James had died of his injuries and the police were confident he had just lost control of the car for reasons unknown and no-one else was involved.

Rose got to thank the man who had found James and called the police and a ambulance and had stayed with him. She was told James hadn't said anything, that he was unconscious when he was found. Jackie had gone to stay for a few days and for the funeral, which was already paid for, though Rose wasn't worried about the cost, James had indeed taken care of everything.

He'd left instructions for such an event with his solicitor and everything was dealt with smoothly. It was then that Rose found out just how much had been left to herself and Jamie, having never had to worry about money since living with James.

"I had no idea Mum," Rose had to admit when she'd got back from seeing the law firm who had represented James.

"So he never really let on then?" Jackie asked her. "Is Jamie going back to school?"

"Yeah, it'll take his mind off it, the head teacher's been really good over him being absent. I'll take him on Monday morning," Rose told her.

"What about you?" Jackie asked her. "You've hardly had a minute to yourself the last few weeks."

"I know Mum, don't remind me," Rose tried smile. "What am I gonna do without him Mum? First Alec and now James, it's so unfair."

"I know sweetheart," her mother sympathised. "I'll go put the kettle on then check on Jamie, he didn't eat all his lunch and I did the baked potato how he likes it and put some cheese on it."

"I know Mum, he'll come round, it's hit him hard," Rose replied. "Thanks for being here lately."

"Ya couldn't have managed on ya own Rose," her mother reminded her.